I did not expect this story to go like this...or for this scene to be in only one location. Something seems odd about it but it could be that I wrote all this at three different times not expecting them to be all together...or maybe its all OOC. I don't know...I'm tired...so I will let you decide :)
Your thoughts would be great and thank you for your wonderful comments.

Chapter T3n

"Casey called me back yesterday. He said he had had the time he needed to process that I was pregnant with his baby."

Maura nods and waits for Jane to continue.

"He said he wanted to be a part of his or her life in some way whenever he was in Boston."

"Well that's good right?"

"Yes. I think it is good for a baby to know 'all' their biological parents." Jane gives Maura a smirk and nudges her hoping for a reaction.

Maura shakes her head and suppresses a laugh. She knows Jane is poking at her own messed up family hoping to get a rise.

Maura squeezes Jane's arm. "That is wonderful, Jane".

Jane continues slower than before, "I still love Casey...but..."

Maura looks up at Jane and see's a dark confused look cross her face.

"What's wrong Jane?"

Jane shrugs and won't look up at Maura, "When I told him that he could be as involved as he liked but that I wanted my family and you to help me raise the baby he started acting...a bit strange."

"Strange how?"

"I don't know. A gut thing I guess."

Maura watches Jane's animated expressions as she thoughtfully replays the conversation back in her mind.

"What did he say to you Jane?"

Jane clears her throat and rubs her palms together slowly, "He asked me...if I had planned it to turn out like this."

Maura frowns, "That is a very odd thing to say."

"Yeah" Jane says neutrally, she tries to show indifference but her expression somehow lands on pained, "I asked him what he meant exactly...but he changed the topic."

Maura tries to reassure her friend, "He had agreed with you that getting married wasn't right for you both, it had nothing to do with the baby. And I convinced you that having family help you raise the baby was the best for you both. Why would he think you had planned any of this?"

Jane leans back against the bar and shakes her head, "I don't know Maura. I really don't" she says with a sad sigh.

"Casey?" Korsak spots the man being served coffee in division one cafe.

"Oh, Hi Vince. Good to see you again."

Korsak moves cautiously closer, in a past life he would greet the colonel with a smile and a bit of friendly banter, but not today, not in this lifetime. He keeps his face firm yet expressionless as he queries Jane's ex-boyfriend, "What are you doing here, Casey?"

Casey sips his drink as if the question is of little importance and then he smiles as he places the mug back down, "I am waiting for Jane."

Korsak glances at Angela, who hasn't taken her eyes off the two of them, then back at Casey, "Is she expecting you?"

Casey shakes his head, "Nuh. I plan to surprise her."

Korsak sits down in the seat opposite Casey aware he has not been invited to do so and ignores the annoyed look Casey gives him

"Casey, Jane isn't really up for any surprises. I am sure you have heard what has happened around here. I'm not sure dropping in like this would be...warmly welcomed."

Casey's annoyed expression grows deeper sending a chill down Korsaks spine.

"She wasn't upset to see me the other day." Casey growls defensively, "And what business is it of yours." His tone and his scowl say 'back off'.

Korsak wants to argue that he is looking out for his colleague and friend, but something tells him it won't be well received. Korsak saw some of the emotional turmoil Jane endured because of this man, and what Jane hid from everyone he heard about from Angela.

Korsak looks past Casey at Angela again. Her eyes look worried, pleading. She hasn't liked Casey since he broke her daughters heart and refused to come to Boston when Jane lost the baby. Now she likes him even less. She hates him more for vanishing for four years only to return when Jane is more vulnerable than she has ever been. Angela confided in Korsak more than once that Jane had cried in her arms after losing her baby, something uncharacteristic of Jane. Angela put it down to the fact that Maura was away at conferences. Korsak never said a word to Jane about what he knew, it would only make her self conscious as well as angry at her Ma, instead he kept a closer eye on her, invited her to the dirty robber for drinks more often, and tried to give her another stray dog to keep her company.

Angela's eyes looked wet as she shook her head subtly, trying to express an unspoken sentence, or feeling. Whatever she tried to convey didn't matter, Korsak felt a protective anger course through his blood.

"It is my damn business." Korsak said with such a loud strong voice that Casey slumped down in his seat slightly, "Everything to do with that girl is my business." Korsak allows his anger to convey his contempt. He doesn't care how Casey takes it. "She is my family and I will do whatever I have to do to protect my family."

Casey visually gulps and blinks back his surprise.

"And don't you forget that, Lieutenant Colonel Jones."

Korsak doesn't wait for a reply. He gives Angela a wink and gets up from his seat calling over his shoulder, "See you later Angela."

Angela smiles then shifts her eyes back to Casey. Like last time, she won't let him out of her sight, especially with her daughter.

Jane chooses that moment to exit the elevator and head towards division one cafe. She see's her Ma and smiles. Then her attention is drawn to the man by the window.

She frowns slightly. Why is he back. He already came to give support to her. For BPD's loss.

She quickly changes her frown into a forced smile that to anyone looks mostly uncomfortable.

"Casey..." She begins then realizes she can't think of anything else to say. She found her words last time entirely because of shock at seeing him and sadness at losing Maura. Now his presence, again so soon, just seems strange.

Angela is between them before she closes the distance to the table.

"Jane?" She says loudly out of one side of her mouth.

"Ma?" Jane raises her eyebrows.

"He has been waiting for you to come downstairs for almost two hours." Angela says with pleading eyes.

"I'm fine Ma." Jane says placing her hands on both shoulders comfortingly before moving past her to sit down opposite Casey.

Casey doesn't move to greet her or stand and only smiles when she sits.

"What are you doing here?"

Casey's smile merges slightly into a smirk before vanishing, "I came to see you. Make sure you were ok."

"I'm fine Casey. I appreciate you coming to show support but you can't help me."

Casey's expression doesn't change. He studies Jane until her stern expression drops and she looks down at the table.

"Jane. When you say 'I'm fine' we both know that doesn't mean fine, or ok. I want to be here for you if you need someone to talk to about anything."

"I have my family." Jane responds curtly keeping her eyes down.

"Can I get you a coffee?" Casey persists

With a sigh Jane finally nods.

Casey calls over to Angela the request and then turns back to Jane.

"I know you've had a rough few days Jane. I am here for you. I always was."

Jane looks up at him and gives him a weak half smile, she is sure he means well but she never felt he was emotionally accessible to her when they were together, so she doesn't expect him to be here for her now. The only thing they really had in common was their mutual love for their jobs. It was the reason they were so good together, because they understood why the other was busy, or unavailable, or on the other side of the world. It worked for such a long time. Until it didn't. Until the people around her were there for her and her boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. He had not been there for her, least of all when she may have come close to needing him. Unless he expected her to beg...beg him to come and support her, help her, hug her. Fat chance of that, Jane Rizzoli begged no-one...ever...least of all a man. Maybe he needed that kind of girl to feel more like a man, maybe he needed someone that needed him. But he knew even when they were in high school that Jane wasn't like that. Jane had always been independent and determined. Even in her lowest hour she had not been weak and needy...physically yes, but not emotionally.

"I'm fine." Jane mumbled.

Angela places her hand on Jane's shoulder and squeezes as she places the coffee on the table. She wishes she could pull her daughter away from him and debates whether of not she should text Korsak and get him to come downstairs again. But Jane wouldn't appreciate her interference so she doesn't.

Casey waits until Angela is back behind the counter before speaking again.

"Any news on Maura?"

Jane shakes her head "She is still missing. She could be dead." she says into her cup working hard to keep her feelings in. Once upon a time she would have confided in Casey. Told him about a case she was working on. She would have listened to his input. And she would have known he was supporting her in his own way. But it was different now. Now, she didn't want to tell him about the case. She especially didn't want him to judge her. To indicate that a good detective would have a few clues by now.

Jane's shoulders sagged from her own guilt and shame.

Casey gave a pause before he offered comfort, "You don't know that, Jane."

"I know." She sighs again before she leans forward so no-one else can overheat them, "Casey. I think this is the worst situation I have ever been in."

"Ever?" Casey asks with genuine surprise.

Jane bites her lip softly in thought, her past has been filled with plenty of very bad situations. There was her private informant that had been killed because of her decisions. That had felt like the end of the world at the time. She didn't think she would ever recover and carry on at BPD.

Then there was Hoyt, dubbed the Surgeon, her third case after making detective. They had tried to catch the serial killer for almost a six months before he caught Jane and then Korsak had saved her life, but not before Hoyt had put scalpels through the palms of her hands.

Hoyt went to prison and Jane had spent several months in physical therapy again evaluating her career choices. Maura had visited her in the hospital along with half of BPD. As much as Jane wanted to hide from everyone, run away, quit...she found Maura genuinely understanding without the condescending sympathy she endured from her co-workers and family and it helped her get through it. It was actually the beginning of their friendship. Maura visited Jane after her release from hospital and filled her in on BPD's current cases which wetted Jane's appetite to eventually get back to work, to go back to BPD. Then Hoyt had been able to terrorize Jane with apprentices eager to seek his revenge on Jane. Hoyt escaped from prison to terrorize her again. Capturing her again. That time she got away and he went back to prison. At times she had felt like a hunted animal afraid to leave her own home and afraid to stay home alone...but back then she knew who was after her. In prison, Hoyt had one final attempt to kill Jane and Maura. This time, Jane ended his life.

Then there was Bobby, the dirty cop than had taken BPD hostage with Jane, Frankie and Maura inside. Her brother Frankie had been shot and was dying. It had been a terrible situation but there had been a way out, she had control. She had shot herself to save Frankie and Maura.

Then there was the situation where she had shot Maura's biological mob boss father. That put a serious wedge in their friendship and they had fought for several months. But they had made up. Maura had been kidnapped twice since then but not for as long as this. They were terrifying but by the time the reality of Maura missing from her life caught up with her, Maura was back.

Alice Sands was behind one abduction and also the reason her apartment had been set on fire, the reason none of her credit cards worked, the reason Korsaks wedding had been shot up. It had been bad, gone on for months, Jane hadn't known who was after her or why. But although she was afraid for the safety of those around her...at least they were around her.

On a personal and emotional level, her situation with Casey, the love, his injury, his lies, their breakdown, reunion, marriage proposal, and his promotion taking him halfway around the world, finding out she was pregnant with his baby only to have a miscarriage 3 months later...that almost...almost...compared to this. The rollercoaster of emotions, fear, hope, rejection, loss, anger, defeat and sadness.

But what set apart all those chapters in her life from this one, was the people around her that supported her, helped her, comforted her. Every bad situation in her life she had Maura by her side. The voice of reason In her ear. The hand on her shoulder to remind her it would all be ok. The jokes between them to keep her from being depressed. She needed the one thing she couldn't have to help her find her and keep her upright.

'Yeah. It is.' Jane says softly frowning to herself.

"Jane...there's no way she met someone and went away with them...or something. I mean she's loaded right. Maybe she just took a break and forgot to mention it to anyone."

Jane rubs the skin between her eyebrows, "Casey..I'm reasonably sure that Dr. Isles didn't renege her responsibilities as the Chief Medical Examiner and take a willy-nilly holiday without mentioning it to anyone at all. Oh...and just leave her front door wide open for anyone to wander in?"

Jane's voice obvious with sarcasm but Casey didn't care. Casey knew Jane would assume he just didn't know all the details in the case. He knew it would play on her mind, confuse her. Even though it was impossible...Jane would wonder what clues really meant anything. Casey also hoped that it would force her to tell him more delicious details about the case that had the amazing Jane Rizzoli stumped...that Jane would need to defend her friend and he would find out how she really felt.

Instead, Jane pushed her hand roughly through her hair and stared at Casey. He often acted strange but surely he knew Maura better than believing she would do something like that.

"You think she would forget to tell me if she had somewhere she had to be?" Jane meant it to sound like a ridicule but she heard how uncertain her own voice sounded.

"No. No she wouldn't forget" Casey said without a pause.

The pause said it all.

"You know her better than I do." He said with a shrug.

Jane studies Casey carefully for a moment and he tenses under her gaze.

Maura wouldn't forget. Was Casey insinuating Maura would actually choose not to tell her. Implying that Maura wouldn't want to tell her so intentionally didn't. That Maura just left. Or was he trying to help her think outside the box on a case with no obvious leads.

Jane's tired mind began to swirl and she closes her eyes to control her thoughts.

Impossible. Never in a million years would Maura do that. Right? No. No way.

Casey rubs his chin in thought and puts on a slightly chipper voice, "It just seems strange that there would be no communication from whoever took her. If she was taken. It's not logical"

Jane bites back that old nagging feeling. The one that tells her it isn't logical because it is personal. The one that causes everything around her to darken like the lights are going out. The one that feels like hands squeezing her heart tightly.

If she was taken. Not Logical. Just vanished...left.

"The whole thing is strange." Jane says with a broken voice and a defeated sigh as she squeezes her eyes shut trying to push the darkness away before it invades her completely. She pushes the thoughts that it's her fault away but the thought that Maura would leave and not tell her feels somehow heavier. She fights the feeling of rejection and wonders why it is there at all. "It feels like a game of chess. Pieces are moving around me and someone is three moves ahead."

Casey can't help but smile slightly. It is a compliment to him. He is three moves ahead and they have no idea. He hides his smile quickly behind his coffee cup before Jane looks up, her eyes searching for an answer, a clue. She doesn't get anything and looks down again.

"I heard radio chatter that someone matching Maura's description was found."

Jane shakes her head slowly to try to shake away the images that flood her mind. She swallows, she feels raw, emotionally drained. The last few days of Maura alive, then dead, and now she doesn't know for sure. She isn't sure of anything. She knows she is afraid, or at least it feels like fear, but she keeps it to herself because she isn't really sure which part is scaring her. That she doesn't know who is doing this and that she doesn't know why. That she might never see her best friend again. That she soon might be investigating the homicide of her best friend. Or that she is scared she isn't good enough to catch whoever abducted Maura.

"It wasn't her." Jane replies simply, yet unsuccessfully trying to hide the emotion cracking through in her voice.

"That's good."

"Someone wanted us to think it was her."

"Someone...Do you know who?" Casey puts as much innocence in his voice as he can manage. "Who would do something like that."

Jane shakes her head again and swallows. She hates feeling this, talking about this. She should have stayed home today. She fiddles with her spoon to distract herself. Distraction is something she has gotten really good at lately. She clears her throat and composes herself again.

Casey sips his drink allowing a long pause before speaking, "If honestly thought she must have run away, She was always a little strange. I wonder what really happened."

Run away. Maura running away. What a strange concept. Maura wasn't that strange. Someone was planting evidence so there was no chance that was even a theory. The blood, the postcard, the necklace, the phone-call, the ice-pick. Someone wanted Jane to chase her tail. Unless Maura was already dead. But why. Why play these games. For what purpose.

Jane growls softly under her breath defending her friend. "She wouldn't do that to me. She knows how I would react. How much it would hurt me."

"What do you mean?" Casey asked failing to hide his genuine curiosity.

'Because of last time she was abducted. Last time...it wasn't this long before we found her...but she knows how hard it was on us all."

"Last time?"

"Yeah." Jane sighs and slumps in the chair, "Someone took her to get to me."

Casey's eyes bulge slightly, he is genuinely surprised, "How long was she gone?"

"96 hours."

"I didn't know that."

"We weren't together then, Casey...it was after...you know. I didn't even know who took her or why...just like this time. Arg. Deja vu."

"Was she ok?"

"Yes. No. She was alive but traumatized. The man that took her didn't even know me...or her...he worked for someone with a ridiculous grudge. She was crazy...but she did so much damage." Jane pauses as the shooting at Korsaks wedding and the dead street kids and thinking her Ma had been taken and all the other memories hit her. Especially Maura holding that shard of metal in the dark trying to defend herself, her eyes fearful and wild and covered in her captors blood because she had sliced his carotid artery to get away. "It's a long story." Jane finished sadly

"I don't mind hearing it."

"Nuh, it hurts to remember. Right now it...please...another time." Jane closes her eyes. She want's to end this conversation. She wants to not feel.

"Were you ok, Jane?"

Jane's eyes snap open. She wants to scoff and yell like she has a lot recently. She want's him to know she will never be ok when anyone takes or hurts her friend. Her Maura. That the memories become nightmares and the worry and fear stayed with her anytime Maura didn't answer her phone fast enough after than. She senses her mother's growing concern out of the corner of her eye and calms herself quickly. She doesn't want a scene. She takes a slow sip of coffee before looking at Casey, right in his eyes for the first time since she arrived and says as calmly as possible, "No Casey. I was a mess. I...am a mess...I..."

"What?"

"I...feel like..."

Casey is on the edge of his seat, "What?"

"I don't think I can do this anymore. I swore to myself if anyone I cared about was hurt again that I would quit."

Jane glances at Angela who is watching them less intently again. The things she puts her Ma through. The woman deserves a medal.

"When you carry a badge, worry is a part of it. You don't think you have to worry about your family and friends." Jane says as she rubs her palms together harshly massaging the scars on them.

"Its a dangerous job, Jane. It always has been."

"My job is dangerous...mine...not hers." Jane scoffs indignantly, "And every time something happens to her it's because of me. Hoyt. Alice. It's like this...crap...that just follows me around and hurts anyone close to me. I never dreamed those people would hurt me by hurting them. I hate it. I hate..." She stops, she can't say 'I hate me'...not to Casey. She is already to vulnerable.

"You don't know that it's because of you, Jane." Casey says calmly, too calmly, but Jane doesn't notice.

Jane sighs sadly, "No, you're right. I don't know anything, but it doesn't matter...this is my last case regardless."

Casey nods in understanding, "Well, maybe it's for the best." Jane misses his smirk as he says it. She is too busy feeling guilty over all the suffering her job has caused...not just her but those she loves...her baby...Casey's baby too...she never asked Casey if he had dealt with it ok...If he was okay...not that he ever gave her the opportunity too. She should ask him even if it dredges up past pain for her, she should let him know what it meant to her and that she cares about him.

She is about to ask him when her phone buzzes. She looks at it and then at him.

"You have to go." He says

"Sorry." She replies and gets up giving him a wave over her shoulder.

She doesn't feel better after talking to him. She doesn't feel lighter.

...to be continued...