Tears and Fears

She was a little girl again, running with her brothers and laughing. Fenrir was still bigger than her, but he was the size of an average dog, while Jormungand was the size of a python snake. They preferred their animal forms, but reverted to their human form for their little sister who couldn't understand why she couldn't be an animal too. Jormungand had small and thin features, making him look like Fenrir could beat him at thumb war without a thumb.

They played with her, making her laugh so much that her little face would start to glow, a glistening zombie aura of power.

And then came Odin who started down at them with disgust. Even at that age, he wanted them gone and didn't care how far he had to go to accomplish that. They would stop playing under his intense stare and when their father came over, glaring at Odin, they felt better. Their father would never let Odin do anything bad.

Odin left and their father knelt down to them, encouraging them to play. Their mother wasn't there; she couldn't be in Asgard and their father tried to keep them from crying by sneaking out to a secret passage he had found. They rarely got to see their mother, but this time, they would.

"We have to be quick." Their father said. As Hel looked into his eyes, she could see his well hidden grace. Somehow, she always knew what she saw made him so different from the other Gods. She thought that's what made him so nice and caring whereas the other Gods were cold.

They followed their father and because Hel was so little, and who couldn't run or slither as fast as her brothers, their father gave her a piggyback ride.

The grand palace of the Gods sat towards the end of Asgard, which was huge when you were a little girl. The palace reached up high in the sky, glistening with gold and silver, surrounded by vast forests and streaming waters, sitting in front of large mountains. Odin lived in the palace while everyone else in these mansions on the other side of Asgard. Their father had one of the smallest mansions, but it was the best place to be because they were a family.

They ran quietly through the forest and the streams. The secret passage was off to the left of the grand palace, tucked away in the mountain. It was a portal and all they had to do was think of their mother and she would be on the other side. Their visits couldn't take too long and it was always hard to leave her.

Their mother was tall and big, but she could shrink down. She was beautiful with long braided dark hair and almond colored eyes with a browned skin tone like brown sugar. She would always hug her children where they could take in her sweet honey scent. It was no wonder why their father loved their mother.

As they reached the portal, they began to feel a surge of panic as one of the Giantesses waited for them. When she was well hidden within the mountains, she told their father that their mother was killed. They weren't sure who did it. Although no one said it, everyone thought it; it had to have been Odin, anything to weaken Loki so he could get rid of his ugly children.

That was the saddest say of their lives, at least until Odin finally got his wish before they were old enough to fight back. He overpowered Loki and took his children, dispersing them. He chained up Fenrir in a cell, tossed Jormungand below into the sea and had Hel taken down to Helheim because he was convinced she was half dead and she belonged with the dead.

She had seen her brother Fenrir get pulled away by chains. She saw her brother Jormungand thrown out of Asgard. Her father had seen it too, locked up while Thor ignored his pleas. He saw her being taken away. She cried and reached out to him, watching the horror on his face turn to anger.

Hel was afraid when she was escorted into Helheim. Her escort said nothing to her and then they fell into the earth, deep down into a dark place. All the dead turned towards the gate, looking at her. She walked through them, under their heavy stares, and walked up to the large open room that was dark and dull. The dead continued to stare until a warrior stepped up, looking down at her fiercely.

"What is your name?" he asked and Hel tried not to be scared.

"Hel, daughter of Loki and Angrboda." She replied, trying to sound brave. He smiled and knelt down before her; eventually so did all the other dead.

"Little Lady, Helheim welcomes you." He said and they all bowed their heads to her. As far as she could see, the dead knelt down to her. The warrior lifted his head to her, still with that smile. "This place shall be known as Hel. You, Little Lady, will be our Ruler of the dead." He added and everyone repeated. They all rose to their feet and began walking her through Helheim, which they promised to call Hel, like how the Greeks would say Hades rather than the Underworld.

After she got comfortable, she asked the warrior, whose name was Bjorn, a question with hope mixed with sadness in her eyes.

"Is my mother here?" she asked and he looked sad to answer her question.

"No, Little Lady. This is no place for the Gods or the Giants. This is for the human dead." He replied and tears fell from her little dark eyes. He wiped them away. To make her happy, he had everyone help in building a beautiful temple and a throne. It made her happy enough to smile, making things happen, like food appearing. They would have feasts and make her laugh, making the dark place seem brighter.

But there were times where she wanted to leave and go see her father. She worried about her brothers, since she had witnessed their mistreatment. Hel had grown into the prime of her life, where the human dead said their daughters would have married. She wanted to leave Helheim, but her warrior friend said she couldn't, no one could.

That was until five dead came to her as she cried on her throne, saying they know she can do anything. If she wanted to leave, she could, only she'd have to come back to Helheim.

"How?" Hel asked them.

"You are not like us, Milady." Said one of the two women. "You are Godly. You have deathly power. You can walk both the land of the living and of the dead." She concluded and the others agreed.

"Bjorn doesn't want you to leave." said one of the men.

"If you leave and never come back, Helheim will return to darkness and misery." Said the other woman. "You make this place better." She concluded.

Hel thought of this, wondering if she could really do that. She looked at them and asked for their names. They refused to tell her, saying that with her power, she could see their lives, know their names. She was a Goddess and they would help her grow into her power.

Hel later came to learn that they were right. She later knew all the dead as if she had known them all of their lives.

She walked out of Helheim while the five dead distracted Bjorn and the others. Once she got to the gate, there was no one around and she soon walked out of the dark earth, crawling out onto the land of the living. She hadn't been there long before someone fell from the sky, glistening under the sun.

It was Thor and he was less than pleased.

"Return or face Odin." He said and, despite her fear, she stood her ground.

"Where is my father?" she asked and he approached, intimidating her by his height. Still, she stood her ground.

"He was banished from Asgard." He said and then Odin interrupted them, looking down at her fiercely.

"If you do not return to Helheim, you will be killed." He said and, despite her fear and panic, she smiled darkly at him and approached him, feeling like the Goddess the five dead had said she was.

"If you do, the dead shall rise and destroy the earth. What will you rule then, great Father." Hel said with venom in her voice. At that moment, she enjoyed the fear in his eyes. It was clear she couldn't save her brothers or her father, but she would do all that she could to keep the fear in Odin's eyes. "How clever you are, Odin; what is yours in life is mine in death. Perhaps we should see who will reign supreme." She concluded and returned to Helheim.

When she walked through the gates, Bjorn was disappointed with her. He didn't say a word, but that was the last time she had seen him. The five dead told Hel that he held Odin in high regards and, as much as he adored her, could no longer advise her.

That was fine by Hel.

She continued to grow into her power, learning the names of these five dead; Sigrid, Bjarni, Magni, Agmundr and Raganhar. She figured she held power over the dead and gave these five a gift; the ability to recover the bond to their earthly bodies so that they could walk the earth with her.

She referred to them as her Draugar.

Together, they walked the earth, collecting the dead in times of great wars, keeping the fear in Odin's eyes as he saw how she could allow the dead to walk with her. He realized she was right; the souls of the humans belonged to her in death and if she wanted to rage a war with Asgard, she would have great strength.

The only thing that gave them confidence and power high above her head was the threat to kill her brothers and her father, wherever he was hiding.

Hel remained in Helheim, the only place that made her happy, until her father came for her. She was incredibly happy, but that was going to be the last time she would see him.

Then everything changed.

Rowan opened her eyes, looking around the strange room, taking a few seconds to realize that it was Gadreel's penthouse bedroom. She sat up and felt a presence coming into the bedroom. She turned to see Bjarni with a cup of hot tea, smelling like honey, making her think of her mother.

"How was your sleep?" she asked and Rowan's heart felt heavy as her memories had played in her mind under the disguise of a dream. When Bjarni noticed her sadness, she placed the cup on the nightstand and sat beside her. "Milady?" she asked, which just summoned the memories back in Rowan's mind.

"Rowan, please." She said and felt Bjarni's arms wrap around her in a comforting hug. "I miss my family. Damn Odin." She added and let a few tears fall from her eyes.

"Rowan, take as long to relax as you need. You can't keep working yourself to exhaustion. Death and those souls can wait. Working so hard won't bring your family back." Bjarni said as she stroked Rowan's head.

At that moment, Rowan felt a fulfilling idea illuminate throughout her body, chasing away the memories and the sadness. It was something that seemed impossible, but it filled her with such happiness that she wanted to try so badly.

She could bring back her parents and her brother. She was the Goddess Hel. As her Draugar had told her, she could do anything.

She could bring her family back. Fenrir and her could have their family back.