Bad Idea
A/N: Due to a recent event, I haven't been able to type much. I have a lot of school work, and it's worse right now because I'm missing like three weeks of school. The work is piling up and I wish I could type a lot of chapters a night, but I can't, so please just bear with me. I hope I haven't lost anyone. I would be very sad if I did, but I digress.
BTW, if I haven't said it yet, this is set in the 21st century.
I want to thank all of you who are currently reading this and especially those of you who favorited and/or alerted, and especially especially all of you who reviewed. I love all of you, and please don't give up on me. I'll try my best to update soon.
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Chapter 5: It's not a date!...or is it?
"Okay, let's go." Roy said after putting the steak that he was holding to his eye in the refrigerator.
"Okay. We should get something for your eye while we're out." Ali said, standing up from her seat on the couch.
"Just my eye?" he joked, opening the door.
"Okay, your whole face, but I think it looks much better this way." She teased, walking out the door.
"You wound me so." He joked, smacking her ass as he walked behind her. He turned around and closed and locked the door. When he turned back around all he could see was a very unammused Ali.
"You should really stop harassing me if you want to be friends. So far, you have a very small chance of that happening." She said, then turned and walked away.
"I'm sorry. I'll try not to do that again." Roy said, grabbing her hand.
"Try? No, you have to do better than that. Stop being such a pervert. I know she probably hates that."
"Who are you talking about and why should I care what she thinks?" he said as they started walking again.
"You know who I'm talking about." She said with a sly grin.
"No I don't."
"Damn, you really are dumber than I thought. I'm talking about the woman you're in love with, you dumbfuck."
"Don't flatter yourself. You're really sexy, but I'm not in love with you. If anything it's a sexual attraction." He laughed.
Ali hit the top of his head.
"Hey dipshit, I'm not a narcissistic asshole like you. I was talking about a certain subordinate of yours."
"What? The only female subordinate I have is…oh, that's who you're talking about?"
She nodded, rolling her eyes.
"I'm not…in love…with her." He said, a bit nervously.
"You're a terrible liar. Either stop lying or get better at it." She bluntly stated. "Anyway, I'm hungry, so you better have a lot of money, otherwise you should go back inside now."
"And why is that?" Roy asked.
"Have you ever eaten with any of the Armstrong's or the Xingese prince and his bodyguards?" She asked with a smirk.
"No, but Ed always complains about Ling and Lan Fan eating everything on the room service menu." He laughed.
"He complains because with both of them ordering room service too it's like having two of me."
"Don't you mean two more?"
"No, I mean two. I may not look like it, but I eat more than Olivier and Ling combined."
"Seriously?" He asked in disbelief, stopping dead in his tracks.
Ali laughed.
"Yup, and I'm really hungry, so if you want to hang out another time it's okay. I can always get Ed to take me to lunch."
"That stupid shrimp? Why do you hang out with him anyway?" Roy said with annoyance as he started walking again.
"He's not a shrimp. He just...hasn't hit his growth spurt yet. And why do you care why I hang out with him?"
"I just…think it's weird. Ed's just a little brat. Someone like you shouldn't be hanging out with that runt."
"Okay enough with the short comments. He might appear out of nowhere." Ali said. "And what do you mean by someone like me?"
"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that it's weird that you, as hot as you are, is hanging out with a couple of kids. Don't you know anyone your age?"
"Ed's only three years younger than me, and no, I don't know anyone here, so just drop it." She said in a tone that reminded him of Riza.
"Sorry, I just thought…never mind."
"And anyway, what makes you so much different than him. The age difference between us is greater than the one between me and Ed, so why should I hang out with someone so old?" She teased.
"I'm not that old. I'm only twenty-three!"
"And I'm nineteen. The point is what makes you so special that I should hang out with you?"
"Well, if you really want to know we should go back to my place." He smirked.
"So you're saying the only thing special about you is your dick? I doubt it's even that great."
"You never know until you try."
"I'd rather not. And if that's all you want you might as well just leave me alone because I'm going back to my hotel. You can give my skateboard to Ed tomorrow." She said, walking away from him.
"Aw come on, it was a joke. I promise not to say anything like that again." He said, hurrying to catch up to her.
"Fine, but this better be a damn good lunch."
"Trust me, it will be." He said.
After walking for a while, he stopped.
"Chris' bar? This is where we're eating?" She asked, confused.
"Yup, I eat here sometimes on my off days." He said, opening the door for her.
"Well, at least the food'll be great." She said, walking past him.
They sat at a table in the back corner because Roy didn't want anyone to see his misshapen face.
"Hey what're you two doing...?" Chris started to say, but stopped as soon as she saw Roy's face. "Damn Ali, he looks worse than all the others."
"Unlike the others, he can't learn when to stop." Ali said, looking at her phone. "Riza texted me?" she laughed. "Ed did too. No doubt they're both about you not being there."
"Riza has a cell phone?" He looked at Ali, confused.
"Of course that's all he hears." She said looking up at Chris. She looked back down at her phone and quickly read and responded to her texts.
Chris laughed. "You guys want your usuals?"
"Yeah, thanks Chris." Ali said.
"Yeah, thanks Chris" Roy said, mockingly.
Ali semi-lightly hit him on the arm.
"Be nice, dipshit."
"You hit me and call me dipshit, yet I'm the one that needs to be nice? What kind of sense does that make?"
"It makes perfect since, but you're too much of a dumbass to know that."
"Okay you two either get married or stop bickering." Chris said, with all seriousness, as she walked back to the kitchen.
"That's a good idea. We should get married, or at least be in a relationship…at least that way I could call this domestic abuse." Roy joked.
"Not even in your wildest dreams."
"Why would my wildest dreams be about marriage?" He smirked.
"You know, that smirk is really unattractive." She said with a very unammused facial expression.
"That's not what I've been told, but I'll try not to do it so much."
"It doesn't matter to me. I'm not interested in you, at least not in that way."
"I would never want my date to feel that I'm unattractive." He smiled. "And I knew you were interested in me."
"It's not a date, and I'm interested in you the same way I'm interested in any alchemist. It's purely scientific interest, nothing romantic or sexual."
"Why such an interest in alchemy?" he asked, taking a sip of the water Madame Christmas had brought them.
"I can't say exactly. I know you really are a trustworthy person, even Ed thinks so, but I just can't tell you that." She said, a bit sadly.
"Okay, then what can you tell me?" he asked, sensing that asking any more would get him nowhere.
"Depends on what you want to know." She said, drinking her water.
"Well, um…why aren't you seeing anyone?"
"What makes you think I'm not?" she said, raising her eyebrow at him.
"So that's why you did this?" he asked pointing to his face.
"No, you deserved that. And I didn't say I'm seeing anyone. I was merely stating that you wouldn't have known if I was or not."
"So that's a no?"
"Yes, that's a no. I'm not seeing anyone." She sighed. What an idiot.
"Why not? You could have any guy you want."
"Maybe I've had them all."
"You haven't. You could've had some, but you're not a whore."
"Oh? What makes you think that?"
"First, you kicked my ass when I hit on you. Second, you don't want to be bothered by people like me…"
"No, I don't want to be bothered by people like who you pretend to be." She interrupted.
"Yeah…wait, what do you mean 'pretend to be'?"
"I mean, you're not just a horny dumbass. You actually have a brain, though you obviously don't use it often, and you have a better personality and morals, contrary to popular belief."
"I knew it. You're perfect for him." Chris said, sitting down the food.
"Oh please don't start this again." Ali said, annoyed.
"She's done this before to you too?" Roy asked, pausing just before taking a bite of his sandwich.
"Yes, she constantly tells me how I should meet her pathetic lazyass son."
Roy looked at Chris angrily.
"I did not say pathetic…or lazyass." Chris protested.
"True, I added that part. She actually tried to make you sound as perfect as possible. It's really annoying. But since I met you now she can stop." Ali said, giving Christmas a slight glare afterwards.
"Yeah yeah, so when's the wedding?" Chris joked.
Both Ali and Roy glared at her.
"Chris, why the hell would you ask that? You're supposed to be the brains of the family." Ali said.
"Actually I-" Roy started to say.
"Really? You choose now to say something about your inelegance, or lack thereof." She said to him. "Chris, don't even joke about something so horrible, especially when I'm about to eat. I'd rather not throw up."
"Oh whatever, you two'll probably end up going on another date. Who know, you might actually end up getting married. I honestly don't think you should make such a big deal about a joke…unless of course there's some truth behind it." Chris said, smirking.
"If you're going to keep talking like that, I'll need some hard liquor." Ali said.
"If I give you that, you might end up married without me being there, and I'd like to go to my own son's wedding." Chris said, walking away. "Enjoy your meal. I'll be upstairs if you need me. And don't do anything down here. I would like to keep my place of work sterile." She joked, going up the stairs.
"Don't even think about it." Ali said to Roy, as she took a bite of her rather large sandwich.
Roy moved his hand, which was about to be on her knee.
"How'd you know?" he asked, dumbfounded.
"I could just sense it." She said. "Now what else were you going to ask before Chris came?"
"Huh? Oh, why aren't you going to college or working at a normal job or traveling to distant places or something else a normal nineteen year old would do?"
"I have a problem that needs fixing, so I'm working with Ed and Al."
"What kind of problem is it? Maybe I can help."
"You do help by giving Ed and Al help. And it's the kind of problem that's completely unbelievable and illogical."
"Oh really? Is there anything else you can tell me about this 'problem'?" he asked, rather intrigued.
"No, actually I might've told you too much, so just drop it."
"Fine, I'll drop it…for now anyway." He said. "How the fuck do you eat that? That's bigger than a Scooby Doo sandwich!" he said, noticing the enormity of her food for the first time.
She ate almost half of it in five seconds. "I told you."
"Good thing we came here, Madame's prices aren't too outrageous."
"Good for you. I couldn't care less."
After they finished eating, they said good bye to Madame Christmas, Roy paid, and then they left. They walked back to Roy's place.
"You sure you don't want to hang longer?" Roy asked as he opened the door.
"Yeah, the guys will be wondering where I am, and we have some work to do." She said, walking in.
"At least let me drive you there."
"It's okay. It's not that far."
"C'mon, it would make Ed angry." He said as if that was her ultimate goal.
"That would be fun." She said.
He put his hands on her shoulder and whispered in her ear, "I know something else that would make him mad."
"And what would that be?" she said in a skeptical tone as she shrugged his hands off.
"We could go in your room."
"Even if I wanted to, I share a room with them, so that'd never work."
"You do? That little runt is more mischievous than I thought. Do you share a bed too?"
"Yes, and he didn't want to, but it's better because someone would be suspicious of him getting an extra room everywhere he goes. And yes, we do share a bed because he wouldn't let me sleep on the couch or floor and I didn't want to kick either of them out of their bed, even though Al can't sleep."
"Wow, so you two haven't…"
"Oh hell no!" She said, cutting him off.
"Well, I can still walk you to your room…and maybe give you a little good bye kiss." He smirked.
"Sure, let's go before they start calling." She said, grabbing her skateboard and walking out the door.
He grinned widely and followed her to his car, locking the door behind him. He opened her door and closed it when she was in, then went to his side and got in.