2 chapters more after this one :) So so close :D This chapter is slower but I think you'll like it. Honestly, I never expected the story to go this far this way. The action line, yes...but the relationships...no. Never planned to even hint at rizzles. Still can't promise a happy ending though...you'll have to wait and see
Sorry about another cliffhanger...next story maybe I will just call cliffhanger then I won't feel so bad...lol
Love the reviews. You guys rock.
xx JAM
Chapter N1n3t33n
An almost eerie click of the safety being released and the hitched breath of Maura are the first things Jane's ears pick up.
"Toss the gun." Casey calmly calls in Jane's direction, his gun trained on the back of Maura's head.
There is an unmistaken clunk of metal on wood. It scrapes across the room a few meters ending up somewhere in the semi-darkness near the wall.
"You like the spot I picked?" He calls out, the smile on his face obvious in his tone.
"Yeah." Jane replies, a crunch of glass as she steps through the narrow gap and across the thresh-hold with one foot. "It's great Casey. Good atmosphere. Great neighbors. Cosy."
"I thought you'd like it. Are you alone?"
Jane moves her other foot alongside the first, her arms raised in surrender, "No, I've got the whole Wu tang clan here with me."
Jane steps fully into the dimly lit room, her kitchen light and lamp on the side table the only things on. She keeps her hands in plain sight, scarred palms pointing towards the two of them.
Casey shakes his head. "You are making it too easy for me Jane."
For a moment, Jane doesn't reply. She is looking at Maura. Looking at her for anything out of the ordinary. Memorizing every bruise, every scratch, her fearful eyes, messy hair, and torn dirty clothing. But even in this state, would anyone wrongly assume that she was home-less. Maybe it's the in the way she holds herself, that certain class, or maybe it's just that Jane will never be able to see Maura for anything more or less than she remembers her. And the eyes that blink back at Jane, the heaving chest with every breath, the struggling at her restraints to get closer to Jane, tells Jane that Maura is, without a doubt, alive.
"Maura needs me." Jane says as the call disconnects, "I'll be back in an about an hour."
"What?" Casey grunts as he looks up from his book.
"She is struggling with a few things and needs some moral support. I won't be long. And you are heading out to a PSTD meeting anyway. I'll be back before you are." She smiles at him sweetly, innocently, unaware that he is unhappy.
He doesn't return the smile, "You're leaving me to go to her...again."
Jane pauses mid process of gathering her jacket and looks up bewildered at her boyfriend, his body language is as agitated as his tone.
"Do you...do you need me to stay?" She asks softly, her eyebrows crinkling together
"Would it matter if I did?" He growls back showing his teeth a bit like an animal might.
Jane drops her jacket on the arm of the chair and sits down close to Casey, "Of course it would matter. You are my boyfriend, Casey."
"What about Moorrahhh?" He says her name bitterly
Jane swallows, "What's wrong Casey?" she keeps her tone soft and doesn't defensively protect her friend even though her heart is screaming at her too.
Casey turns to Jane his eyes cold and lips pressed together.
"You are always rushing off to her. Celebrating a case at the dirty robber with her. Eating lunch with her. You always go to events with her. Yoga with have private jokes 'with her.' Do you even want me around?"
Jane leans back in the seat mainly from surprise. His words feeling like literally being hit. How could he have such a distorted perspective of her social life. The things she went to with Maura because he stood her up or wasn't around. Did he expect her to sit at home alone when he was away and wait for him. Did he want a Stepford wife for a partner.
"Casey. Why are you doing this."
"Because you are mine Jane."
She frowns, not because she wouldn't be his if he asked, but because he didn't. She had waited for so long within their off-again-on-again dating for him to ask her to 'be his'.
"I will stay." She says barely above a whisper. She knows Maura will understand, will wait, will be ok without her. Maura is brave and has lived most of her life fighting her own battles her own way, before Jane, alone. As much as it pains her to make a promise and then break it, she will be faithful to him.
"Don't bother," Casey says with a glare and a grunt, "I am heading out anyway. Do as you please. You always do anyway."
"Casey." It is the saddest way she has ever said his name. It's a way she never will again.
She gets up to walk to him. To put her hand on his shoulder. To express that she is sorry. He swats her hand away like it is a pestering bug.
"I would do anything for you Casey. I wish you could see that."
"Would you?"
Jane nods and touches him gently on the shoulder.
"Then don't have anything more to do with Maura."
The shock takes second to logic, and she manages a feeble pout, "But...I work 'with' her."
"Fine. Then don't have anything to do with her outside of work." He demands
Jane's hand slips off Casey's arm and falls by her side, hanging lifelessly.
"She is my friend." Jane doesn't even mean to say it out loud. It just slipped out while her brain was evaluating every moment she had spent with Maura, from strangers in a coffee shop through to innocent sleepovers. Casey's crazy insecurities hadn't even reached her yet.
"If you love 'her' so much go be with 'her'." He spits
Jane looks up in surprise. "I love YOU Casey."
He doesn't acknowledge her words at all. And after a many moments pass, Jane lets out the stale breath she has been holding.
"Why are you so threatened by her?"
In an instant, his hand makes contact with her cheek and she steps back in surprise raising her own to cover the red sting he has left on her face. She is in too much shock to speak, to blink, to breathe.
Casey glares at her, unfazed by his own action, unconcerned by hers.
Her training has taught her not to react or retaliate. There is no knee-jerk reaction to slap him back. Scream at him. To tackle him like a perp and cuff his hands behind his back. There is just tingling and shock.
Jane takes in a broken staggered breath and holds it. Casey puffs out his chest and crosses his arms. They stare at each other.
There is no remorse, no sadness.
Then Casey screws up his mouth in disgust, "I'm going out." He points at her his finger close to her face, "I will see you when I get back."
It's a demand or expectation she instantly wants to defy. Defy him or run from him. Run where? To Maura. Does or would that make it better or worse. Defy him and go to Maura. With the intention of saying 'in your face Casey' or just to feel safe. Could she beg for forgiveness later. Mercy. Tell him she was foolish. Or should she stay home and wait for him just to ease his fears and insecurities and her own fears. To live by his rules for his needs. Was it for her own sake. Did she push to far by insinuating he was threatened. Could she accidentally push too far again? And if she did, what was he capable of next time. Could it be worse...or would he be better. Should she spend the rest of her life walking on eggshells. What was she getting out of this. What was the cost.
She hears the door slam only just noticing Casey isn't in front of her anymore.
Realizing finally she is alone. Safer. Able to breathe.
She sits down and blinks, processing everything. Trying to anyway.
She chews her lip.
She pushes her hand through her hair obstructed by soft tangles she doesn't feel.
She puts her fingertips to her cheek exaggerating the feelings. Pricks of coolness against the fire, the burning.
She tries to think back to the good times she had spent with Casey, however disjointed. Did the good times outweigh the bad. Could she write this off like the other times. Was ignoring the signs becoming a habit.
So many abused women had passed through BPD doors, angry yet afraid, tormented yet unconsolable, often with young children in tow, very rarely with any bags of belongings only the clothes on their backs. They would listen to their stories, file a report, send officers with restraining orders. They would help carry crying children in bunny pajamas to police cars and drive them all to a woman's shelter uptown. They might try to hide bruises and cuts, they might had lied that they fell down stairs or walked into a door, but eventually the truth came out, whether it was in the police report, in the courtroom, or found by the medical examiner. She could never understand how they had stayed so long, let it get so bad, why had the breaking point been so far down the road, when all other options were exhausted, she still partly struggled to understand. But love, maybe love accepts more little by little, until the love is broken and no-one can put it back together anymore. maybe she understands a little more now. Maybe she would have more empathy for those victims now.
Her phone rings. She hears it on the third ring and answers without a word.
"Jane are you alright?"
"I'm fine Maura."
"Where are you?"
"I...um...I got held up. I haven't left yet. I..um...I'm sorry."
"It's fine Jane. I was just worried. You said you were on your way over an hour ago."
"An hour..." Jane looks at her watch, "Oh. Shit. I..."
"Jane. It's fine. I promise. Do you want me to come to you? Or we can meet tomorrow instead"
"No. No, I'm leaving now. And...um...Can I...can I stay the night at your place."
A soft chuckle comes through the line and warms her heart instantly, "You never need to ask Jane. Never. You can stay anytime."
'The things I do for you.' Jane says directly to Maura, a smile playing on her lips as her dimple showing happiness. Casey pats her down checking for hidden weapons while keeping his gun at the ready and Jane stands firmly waiting. The moment Casey steps away, his search done, Jane steps towards Maura consciously placing herself between the two of them.
"No" Casey growls causing Jane to pause before she reaches Maura. She contemplates for a moment. She weighs up the knowledge she is giving him, possible reactions, outcomes. Whether he would shoot her in the back and let Maura watch her die...so close.
But her past fear of Casey is gone...because she now knows Maura is truly ok and if Casey wanted Maura dead she would be. He could have pulled the trigger the moment Jane walked in the room. The moment Jane would be able to see it happen and not be able to do anything.
"I want to see she is ok. Then we can talk." Compromise, negotiate, risk. Dead already or about to be dead would make no difference to Jane, Casey had already done all the damage he possibly could do to her...there was no more emotion he could draw out of Jane. Casey had wanted Jane to suffer, and she had. Now he wanted her to know that it was because of him, and she does. Now maybe he will tell her why or he won't. It was never about Maura anyway. It is about her and she is still breathing. Casey has not killed her yet, he wants something more. And so she takes the risk.
She takes a final step and closes the distance touching Maura's cheek with the back of her fingers, checking Maura is real. Her fingers slide behind Maura's neck and she pulls Maura into a tight hug.
It is a long awaited moment by them both and they both feel a surreal peace and relief.
And for a moment neither move.
When Maura opens her front door she sees the maxillofacial trauma immediately. Reddened cheek from soft tissue injury caused most likely by impact. And although it isn't unusual for Jane to arrive with bruising or scratches at times, she has, however, been off-duty for the last 24 hours and not anywhere near her brothers since Frankie is on an undercover assignment and Tommy and TJ are on holiday in Florida.
Maura reaches her hand up and cups her hand over Jane's cheek gently. The welt is slightly bigger than her own hand. In her mind she concludes it is from an open-handed slap or strike across the face, wikipedia would explain that it is often a way for someone to rebuke, rebuff or insult another person without causing major injury. She herself would never classify major or minor with a living person as the real damage is often unseen.
Jane closes her eyes and doesn't speak. This strange behavior and these minor injuries are becoming too common lately. But they don't talk about it. If Maura pushes it they will have a fight about it. About space and respect and 'it's really none of your business'. Maura took it personally at first before she realized it caused her friend some feelings of shame. So now she tries to hold back her anger and discus it in indirect ways using the word hypothetically in completely un-hypothetical ways.
Jane holds her breath. The touch is cool and gentle. Ice on fire. Soothing physically and emotionally.
"Come in." Maura offers dropping her hand and taking Jane's elbow to lead her gently inside. She will not push, pry or poke. Jane is here with her and right now that is all that matters.
"I have an ice-pack and some Aloe Vera."
"I was hoping you were going to say you have icy beer." Jane retorts, the subtle beginnings of a smirk beginning to form.
Maura squeezes her elbow tenderly, "Oh, I have that too."
"I'm sorry Jane. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."
"Shhhhh. Don't say that Maur. It's not your fault." Jane says gently
Maura closes her eyes, "You shouldn't have come."
The brief relief is replaced by fear, and she can feel Maura's pulse speed up.
Maura has a pulse she tells herself, Maura is alive.
"Did he hurt you?"
"No." Casey did not hurt her in the way Jane is asking.
Casey watches the exchange intently, bemused perhaps.
Jane breathes in deep, finally she has arrived and knowing Maura is safe gives her strength.
She can't say goodbye to Maura, she can't bear too, but it is likely a goodbye hug. It is silent and gentle and strong and Maura feels herself tear up with the feelings she feels coming from Jane's body.
"I have never been so happy to see you." Jane whispers in her ear softly while her fingers deftly loosen Maura's restraint.
"I need you to get out of here."
Maura shudders, she understands what Jane wants, or needs, but she can't imagine leaving Jane in the hands of a man that wants to harm her.
"I can't leave you." Maura whispers back, her breath tickling Jane's neck and causing her to pause her movements for a moment.
"Maur-, I can't do what I have to if I have to worry about you being alright as well. I need you to go the moment he is distracted. Please Maur."
"Jane!" Maura's tone is mostly sad with a tiny hint of annoyance, "I won't".
"Maura. Please. I need you to trust me."
Maura shakes her head and is about to refuse when Casey interrupts them.
"That's enough," he growls stepping closer, "You've seen she is ok. So enough."
Jane turns and glares at Casey before ignoring him again. Jane closes her eyes and presses a soft kiss to Maura's cheek and pauses in place, wishing this, possibly a final moment, would somehow last forever.
"Don't look so worried Maur. What could go wrong." Jane says gently.
Maura bites her lip. So many things could go wrong and a million theories enter her brain at once. And the last time that line was used between them things did go very wrong.
Why would Jane even say that.
Then Jane straightens up, pulling away from Maura, and stands, keeping her own body squarely between Maura and Casey, she finally turns to face her perpetrator.
...to be continued...