There's a couple flashbacks in this... WARNING CONTAINS HINTS OF CHILD ABUSE AND GANG RAPE, NOT IN DETAIL THOUGH!!
Mostly Naruto POV.
NARUTO POV
Everyone knows pain physical and emotional, some may even know suffering and the crippling feeling that comes with it but few will know the feeling of truly being broken and shattered to wear a mask of happiness so not to burden others with the void inside of you.
Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken.
This is how the blonde, over loud, dead-last ninja can say he knows true suffering. He will never forget the sleepless night purely from fear of falling asleep, or the evil that hides tucked away within everyone. He will not forget how his throat would feel raw after a whole night of screaming.
He will not forget but can he forgive?
Flashback
'I don't get it, why does everyone hate me...'
"Look-y what we have here, a fox. I think it's time for a hunt."
"No please leave me alone I don't want to be hurt anymore!"
"What about all the people you hurt like my brother, my nephew and our leader. What about all the lives you took and now you stand here acting the innocent in this young boy and ask for mercy?!"
"B-but I didn't do any of that I just don't want to be hurt anymore I'm always hurt."
"Tough!"
The next 3 hours were just filled with Naruto's screams and pleads.
This being one of the more merciful beatings Naruto acquired over the years, it seems to be worse on his birthday. Most people love their birthday filled with happiness and attention.
Naruto may get the attention albeit not the kind he wants but he is never happy, not on his birthday.
Flashback
"~happy birthday to me..."
sigh*
I start to cut my own cake... did I say cake, I meant mouldy bread, apparently that's all I deserve on this day. I forgot to mention today is my 12th birthday. So far I've had a scroll of basic jutsu from iruka-sensei and an all you can eat ramen coupon from sarutobi-San. At least that means I'll be able to eat something tomorrow, I won't tonight the villagers will be hear soon.
..Some time passes..
Naruto doesn't bother to sleep even though it's late, there's no point he'll only be woken up as soon as his birthday beating comes knocking.
And pretty soon it does.
"C'mon lads tonight's gonna be a special birthday for our naru-Chan." The villager says this with a sly smirk covering his face. Naruto hates that nickname 'naru-chan'
The night went on how you'd expect, well how Naruto would expect. Except this time it was so much worse Naruto was tortured within an inch of his life, then to be gang raped by about 7 village men.
Flashback end
Naruto can never go into a lot of detail with his 12th birthday it was one of the worst things to ever happen to him, he hasn't felt the same since that night.
There are other memoris that are either to hard to recount or they were simply pushed away being too much for Naruto to handle.
How long have I been here for?
Naruto has been training ever since he walked out, beating on the same tree over and over. His hands bloody and shaking and his legs can hardly hold him up, even so he keeps going unable to will himself to stop.
"Naruto?"
I got so caught up I didn't even notice someone was here...
"Naruto, stop your going to hurt yourself."
"I don't care!"
"Well I do and as my student i am ordering you to stop!"
"Please! Leave me alone, that's all I want."
"But it isn't what you need, you have been self-destructing for the past month it's time to let go of your grief and open up, I am hear for you Naruto. Always."
"This isn't about jiraija! I'm fine, I'm over it, this is about that stupid snot-nosed kid trying to justify being a coward and explaining to me why his life is so bad!!"
"Why does it matter what a child thinks Naruto. I know you've had a hard past but I also know you're strong enough to get through it the only reason this has taken such a toll on you is because of jiraija, and you know it."
"You don't know half of the suffering I've had to endure because of that fucking stupid fox inside of me, so I won't have a child berating me like it's nothing, I wouldn't wish my life upon my worst enemy!"
"Then talk to me Naruto, what happened, I know bits and pieces but not specifics and not a lot."
"Believe me sensei you really don't want to know, thanks anyway."
"Sasuke if you're going to keep following me i'd stop hiding, we're done anyway."
"No Naruto we're Not!"
"Yes we Are, I'm tired I'm going to bed."
"Fine but this isn't over Naruto."
"Night teme"
"Tch dobe."
"Sasuke I need you to do me a favour, keep an eye on Naruto try and get him to open up about jiraiya and his past."
Sasuke just nods and walks off.
Soooooo, what do you guys think?? leave a review below and let me know good or bad