Dr. Picard." Beverly's eyes rose to meet the hulking prehistoric figure that was lumbering into her sick bay.
"Dr. Ree." She smiled. "I hear your getting ready to take off?"
"We are. I'm headed back to my vessel now. I just wanted to thank you again for the presentation you put together describing some of the more… deal clenching.. Effects of biphasic energy. I do believe it's what changed the minds of the Tere'Tel's high cousel."
"Thank you." She said softly, looking at the small bumps along his small hands. "You know Dr. you really are quiet a remarkable creature." She said softly. The man's tongue shot out of his mouth in a strange smile. "I think reading up on your species is a hobby I'd like to pursue."
"Ah." Ree hissed. "I think you'd find it a boring past time Dr. Picard. You should take up a lost art instead."
"You're work on Terrel 4 was wonderful." Beverly added, returning the conversation to a more professional note.
"Luckily the contamination seems to have been relatively contained. The treatments required seem to be working quite well."
"Good. I wish you safe passage back to the Titian then."
"Yes.." Ree hesitated a moment.
"is there something more Doctor?" She cocked her head to the left and tried to decide how to read a dinosaur's subtlety.
"I was hoping to speak to you on a personal level. About Deanna."
Beverly tried not to bristle.
"You should contact Selar about-."
"She needs a friend." Ree blurted, interrupting Beverly's calm redirection. "Fibronatal Infusion is a terribly draining illness. Physically and Emotionally. If you can find anyway to set aside your own emotions.." The reptilian sighed. "She needs a friend."
"Certainly Will-."
"Will is doing all he can. More that most husbands and fathers could be expected too.." Beverly didn't like the way Ree's voice trailed off at the end of that thought, as if he'd said too much. "But this has been a hard road for him as well. Elizabeth's special condition. Deanna's pain. Six lost pregnancies.." The man's dark dot like eyes came to rest in hers. "They both could use a friend." Picard nodded at the other doctor, he waited a few moments in the silence before nodding again. "I'll take my leave now Dr. Picard."
She nodded again, still pondering his statement as he lumbered back out of her sickbay.
"We've only got two left." Will sighed, looking at the med kit that Dr. Ree had given them before they left the Titian. "I should have asked Ree for more before the Titian left." He ran his hand over his face and looked at anything but her. The crates from their old quarters, Lizzie's half finished dinner on the table.. Anything but her.
"Perhaps we won't need them." She breathed, looking down.
"Deanna.." He scoffed slightly, grabbing Lizzie's meal remains and placing them in the replicator. "We've got at least six more weeks.. There is no way that-." His voice trailed off, as he leaned back against the wall, with a soft grunt, running his hand over his eyes.
Deanna stilled, letting the wave of exhaustion pass between them with out comment. Her eyes filled with tears as her teeth came down ever so lightly on her moist lip.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. He winced from behind his hand, just as the hot tears started down her cheeks. "I can't imagine what this has been like for you."
"For me.." He breathed again. "Deanna your life has been a living hell for-. Your worried about me?"
"Someone should be. Don't you think?" She sniffed softly. "Or you think that you should have to hold everything on your shoulders. The ship, Picard, Lizzie, the baby.. Me?"
"It's my job." His voice was low and even. Resolute, she decided.
"Will. if there was any other way." He dropped his hand from his face, taking in the streaky tears on her pale cheeks. He shook his head, taking the three large steps to cover the distance between them.
"Stop." He whispered, lightly running his fingers over her arms as his head barely brushed against hers. "Stop it. We made this decision, we knew what it would be like."
"We didn't know we'd be here. Or about the Captain." She huffed.
"We chose to come here. We made that decision too." Will soothed.
The door chime made them both jump, causing Deanna to hiss in pain and Will's sense of hopelessness to return. He took a deep breath, before stepping away from her and calling out a command towards the door.
The entry way opened, revealing the small Vulcan Dr.
"Selar?"
"Captain." She turned to Deanna. "Counselor." Will looked at the silver case she held in her hands. "Dr. Ree and I talked at Length about the.. Alternative methods… the two of you have been using. I explained to him, as you must have known I would, that I can't condone them. The risks to the Captain are too numerous and too severe. It is most defiantly against medical advice"
Will swallowed hard as Deanna's head turned away.
"However, I saw no harm in delivering a medical package that your former CMO said you may need."
She set the silver case on the table and stepped away from it.
"Good night Sir."
"Selar." Will called after her softly. The woman stopped, her head turning back over her shoulder. "Thank you."
"Yes Captain." She nodded as the doors swished shut behind her.
Will placed his hand on top of the case for a moment before opening the case and moving his hand over the rows of hypos. He swallowed, letting his eyes drift shut in relief.
Deanna sniffed again and he lifted his eyes to hers, swallowing against the guilt that radiated from her dark irises.
"I'm going to check in on Elizabeth." He told her calmly.
She nodded, watching his back as he turned into their daughters room. She moved quickly towards the open case as her hand shot out and angrily closed it.
Tears poured into Deanna's eyes, she brought her hand to her mouth in a feeble attempt to hide her tears from her husband and their telepathic connection.
"Where have you been?" Guinan tilted her head to the left and handed her newest patron his drink of choice.
"Haven't you heard?" The man told her conspiratorially. "I've gone mad."
"Really.." She raised an intrigued eyebrow and dropped into the seat across from him.
"Yes.." She smiled at the relaxed way his 's' had become a 'z' pulling across his lips. "Quiet sad actually. I used to be quiet important."
"Or so they tell you?" Guinan guessed.
"Touché" The bald man tilted his teacup at her. They fell into a comfortable silence, serene smiles pasted on both faces, ignoring the stares from other crew members.
"How are you feeling Captain?"
"Oh for Gods sake call me Jean Luc." He breathed. "And I'm feeling fine thank you."
"Seriously?" She smiled before adding. "Jean-Luc?"
"Bored.." He told her, his eyebrows raising as if he was asking himself how he was feeling. "Rather old. And bored."
"I see."
"My wife is driving me crazy." He continued, letting his lips stretch into his most genuine smile.
"Nothing new there."
"No.." He puckered his lips before taking another sip of tea. "My daughter is thrilled that I am now only at her beck and call, and my son seems to think I am an explosive device of some kind."
"It will take time." Guinan whispered. "Seeing frailty in your parent is never easy. But when you are the son of the legendary Jean-Luc Picard.." She gestured at him. "That is another deal entirely."
"I suppose." He huffed, setting the cup on it's saucer and facing his hostess. "So tell me how is the ship."
"You don't know?" She asked him honestly.
"I'm afraid Beverly's been hiding in sickbay and Sienna only knows the goings on in the nursery."
"No visitors?"
"Not the ones I had expected." He sighed. "Geordi seems to always be stopping by to show Jack or I the latest gadget. Alyssa of course, and Worf even stopped in to give me a book on Klingon Philosophy."
"Klingon's write books on Philosophy?"
"That was my exact question" He nodded. "I guess I would have expected.."
"He's very busy." Guinan offered after a few moments of awkward silence. "Someone left him a ship to run."
"Yes. I heard." Picard's words turned sour. "I would have thought he'd at least pretend to be in need of advice."
"I doubt he'd have to pretend." The bartender informed him solemnly. Picard's eyebrow lifted before furrowing. "As I said before.. Seeing frailty in your parent is never easy."
The former Captain of the Enterprise's face grew grim for a moment. He slowly lifted the tea cup to his lips and emptied it.
"Thank you." He said softly, cupping his hand over his old friends before standing and making his way out of the lounge.
"Your welcome." Guinan whispered to herself.
Sam Gibson nearly fell out of the Command Chair when the turbolift doors opened.
"Sir." He sputtered leaping to his feet to meet the plain clothes man who used to own the bridge.
"Sam." I was hoping to speak with your Captain."
"He's in his- your- the ready room. Sir."
"Yes. That's what the computer told me." Picard grinned almost mischievously at his former first officer, acutely aware ot the eyes of the other bridge officers.
No matter where he went, there were two types of people. People who knew that he had a disease of the mind, they looked at him with pity and concern. Then there was the majority, who only knew that he had retired for medical reasons, who looked at him with concern and interest, searching for any mysterious symptom that would tell them more about what took down the great Captain Picard.
He hated both looks.
"Yes. Of course." Sam shook his head. "It's good to see you Sir."
"Thank you Commander Gibson, it's good to be seen." He stated simply before making his way to the doors of his old office and pressing the chime.
The doors opened quickly and he found himself looking at the back of Will Riker's head.
"What is it?" He sighed almost in irritation.
"And here I thought the Captain of the Enterprise would be someone with some manners." Picard teased, trying to keep from laughing as Riker fumbled the pad he was reading and shot up straight in the chair as he swung around to face his guest. The older man watched him struggle to his feet.
"Cap-." Picard's hand shot up to stop the formal greeting.
"I'm not the Captain of this ship any longer. You are and you're going to have to start naturally calling me Jean-Luc at some point."
The man's eyebrows raised tiredly.
"Well.. That's probably not going to be today." Riker admitted, scrubbing his hands over his bearded face. "What can I do for you… Sir..?"
Picard smiled.
"I was here to ask you the same question Will."
"Yeah?" Riker's large frame dropped like bricks back into his chair. "Loaded question."
"Will.. I'm not a blithering idiot yet you know."
"Cap-." He caught himself. "I never thought that-."
"I still have a few useful years ahead of me."
"If you're here to get your job back Jean Luc, today I just might give it to you." Riker snorted, tossing his head back against the chair.
"No. Too much stress." The other man grinned. "Stress is an antecedent to my condition and my wife has made sure to make my life completely stress free in every way. It's very relaxing."
"Sounds horrible." Will breathed.
'It's making me catatonic." Picard agreed. "So I came to ask a favor. Please.. For my own benefit really.. Confide in me."
"What do you want to know?" Will offered, Picard caught the hesitation in his voice.
"How's the crew adjusting to the change?" Picard asked sitting on the sofa.
"Alright." Will shrugged. "The Senior Staff adapted nicely, of course everyone but McKenna knew me pretty well."
"And Judith?"
"She seems to be adjusting. I'd say Beverly's having the hardest time."
"Beverly?" Picard seemed surprised.
"I'd bet it's not easy going from being the Captain's wife to just the CMO." Will shrugged. "On the Titian, Deanna literally had a glimpse of what I was thinking at all times. I'd guess you and Beverly had something similar despite your mere human communication systems." His eyes flickered when he finished the sentence and it was the first sign of the real Will Riker that Picard had seen since he came into the room. "I'm sure it's an unsettling thing to loose."
"I hadn't thought of that." Jean Luc considered.
"I'm sure that's not the only problem she's having."
"No?"
"I mean…" Will swallowed. "There's defiantly a.. rift… with Lizzie and Deanna.. And the baby." Will exhaled slowly. "A lot of past there."
"A lot of guilt." Jean Luc finished.
"I'm sure I made that worse, asking Selar…" Will looked out the window, squinting his eyes at the stars.
"What happened on Caladra.."
"Was not Beverly's fault." Riker interrupted. "And it was also a very long time ago."
"You're saying she should be over it?"
"I know it's not that easy." Will shook his head, taking a slow deep breath. "Being bonded to an empath is an extraordinary thing. I don't know if you can imagine feeling another persons feelings. Beverly's feelings.."
"Kes/Pret." He reminded. "I can remember it being humbling, intimate."
"With Beverly." Will added. "With someone who you're not as.. Familiar with.." Picard tried to imagine what his wife's guilt must feel like to Will Riker. "Deanna and I have tried so hard to put Caladra behind us. To accept the challenges as part of life. We don't' asky why or stop to feel sorry for ourselves."
"And Beverly?"
"Her anger and her guilt is still as fresh today as it was nine years ago." He stopped, his gaze returning to the other man's face. "What about you?"
"You don't know?" Picard asked softly.
"It's never come up." The Captain shrugged. "I can only sense what Deanna senses remember? It's not like I can read your mind right now."
"Thank God." Picard smiled back at him before stopping to ponder the question. "Caladra means something different to me." He blinked back at his friend. "Seeing as I was unconscious for most of it, I remember it for what happened because of it."
Will couldn't help but smile with him, he suddenly wished that he could feel what Jean Luc Picard felt about Caladra. He imagined it was like his own feelings when someone mentioned the Ba'Ku home world. He wondered how he would have felt if one of his friends had experienced a loss there. He wondered if that added to Beverly's guilt.
"I'll talk to her Will." Picard's voice interrupted his musing.
"Huh?" He asked airily.
"Beverly." He added. " I don't know if it will do any good, but it's worth a risk. Don't you think?"
"Yes" He admitted watching the other man stand, pulling at the waist of his shirt the same as he had any uniform tunic he'd ever worn.
"In return I'd like you to stop by our quarters more often." He met the tall man's fierce blue eyes. "Jack is having some difficulty with my diagnosis. I think you may be someone he can talk to."
"Of course." Will wanted to kick himself for not thinking of Jack sooner.
"I would like to think I'm still someone you can talk to.. Number one." Picard announced as he left the ready room.
"Yes Sir." Riker found himself whispering to the back of his head.