Chapter 4

Washington DC, 1863

Jarrod didn't see Julia again for a few days. The new year came along, and the Emancipation Proclamation went into effect. Soon they would stepping up enlistment of negro men, meaning they would need more white officers, and Jarrod was still bent on getting a command. In the meantime, the Washington winter grew more miserable, so he spent little time outside. Going to and from work, he'd tilt his head into the wind and move as fast as he could. There was simply no other way to cope with the weather.

After several very long days at the war department, the weather broke a bit. It was rainy, but oddly warm, so Jarrod took advantage of it. He decided he wanted to take advantage of something else, too.

After work, he treated himself to the club where Julia sang, hoping to see her again and not just standing beside the piano. When she came out, he saw her scan the crowd and found himself hoping it was him she was looking for. Foolish, he thought. He hardly knew her and he didn't really trust her yet, and he hadn't seen her for a while, but there was something so alluring about her, that when she did spot him and smile, he felt a lift inside.

After she finished her first set, she came over to him, saying, "Hello, Jarrod. I'm glad you're back. I guess you've been busy at the war department."

"We always are," Jarrod said.

"I could stand another escort home tonight," Julia said. "Can you stay until after the second set?"

Jarrod nodded. "I'll stay."

"Come back to my dressing room after I leave the piano," she said. "We can have a drink before we go."

"I'm afraid I still don't drink these days, remember?" Jarrod said.

Julia smiled, a little wickedly. "Sarsaparilla?"

Jarrod laughed. "Water will do."

"Water it'll be," she said, and she went to the piano.

Jarrod listened to her sing, aware that the soldiers around him were looking at him with knowing grins on their faces. At least they all thought they were knowing grins. Jarrod was still not ready to become too involved with the woman standing beside the piano. Maybe by inches he was beginning to trust her, and beginning to want more than a walk home with her, but he wasn't quite there yet. He knew intelligence agents came in all sizes and sexes. He knew he had to be careful.

But as they walked to her home that evening, the conversation became a bit more intimate than he was expecting. Out of the blue, Julia said, "It is rather difficult to be a performer, especially when you consider my audience is exclusively soldiers. I might want a close companion to share my days with, but I have to be careful. A lot of men want a quick conquest and then they're gone."

Jarrod was a little taken aback. "That's awfully personal, Julia," he said.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You're right. We barely know each other, and here I am, just about to pour my heart out."

Jarrod thought hard about what to say next. He didn't want to get into her feelings, or his, too deeply, but he didn't want to turn ice cold, either. "I can understand it must be difficult for you, figuring out who to trust and who to stay away from."

"How do you do it?" she asked.

Jarrod was even more surprised. "How do I do it? I'm not in danger of becoming anybody's conquest."

"Not in the same way I am, of course," she said, "but you do have to be careful, given your work. You never know who might be sidling up to you just for information."

Jarrod looked at her. "Is that what you're doing?"

"No," she said quickly. "I wouldn't know what to do with information you might have even if you handed it to me on a silver platter. I just like you, Jarrod. Given a little time, I think I could like you very much."

They had arrived at her place. Jarrod went ahead and kissed her, without an invitation this time.

"Maybe even more than 'like,'" she said.

"There's a war on, you know," Jarrod said. "Any time now I could be transferred and then be dead."

Julia nodded. "I know. If anything is making me appear more forward than you'd like, it's probably because I know that. We may not have a lot of time together, Jarrod. I don't want to miss something special just because of this war."

Jarrod kissed her again. He wasn't entirely sure he believed her, but on the other hand he wasn't entirely sure he disbelieved her, either. And he did agree with her about one thing. He didn't want to miss something special just because of the war, either. He didn't want to be transferred and then dead at 19 without having really been in love. And until he spent more time with Julia, he couldn't be sure, but he was beginning to think she was the one he wanted to be in love with.

He kissed her again, more completely this time. "May I come up?" he asked.

She nodded.

He went up to her apartment with her, and on the way he decided. Whether he believed her or not, whether he was really falling in love with her or not, he wanted to be with her tonight. They had barely entered her apartment and closed the door before she proved she wanted to be with him, too.

XXXXXXX

Stockton CA, 1878

Nick and Heath looked at each other. Heath said, "That was pretty darned risky, Jarrod."

"I knew it at the time, but I did it anyway," Jarrod said. "She was so beautiful, I just had a helluva time resisting her."

"So, you kept seeing her," Nick said.

"Sporadically at first," Jarrod said, "but it only took a couple weeks before we saw each other more frequently."

"Was she after information from you?"

"At first I was suspicious," Jarrod said. "I knew I had to keep diverting her questions if they aimed at my work. I should have reported it, but she was good at asking without asking, if you know what I mean. And I guess I was curious as to whether she'd still want to see me if I didn't answer her, if she really was an operative trying to get information out of me. Maybe I was full of enough ego that I was trying to see if I could keep warding her off while still bedding her. You know how it is when you're 19."

XXXXXXXX

Washington DC, 1878

"How long have you been in the war department, Jarrod?"

The alarm inside him began to clang again. "A few months," he said, and kissed her.

She pulled him closer. "I wouldn't think there was much intelligence to gather, what with everyone going into winter quarters."

She kissed him, deep and satisfying. His head started to swirl, almost deafening the clang. "There's always work to do."

She said, "It feels so good to have you here with me. I hope you don't have to leave tonight."

"I don't," he said. "Just another day at the office tomorrow."

"Do they let you do any work out in the field?" she asked.

The alarm grew a little louder. "Not really," he said. He kissed her again. "You're beautiful."

She pulled him close again. "Forgive me for saying this, but I hope you stay in the war department for the whole war and never get transferred away."

"Mmm," he said. "Being with you could get dangerous. You do have a way of spinning a man's head."

She laughed. "And you have a way of keeping your work to yourself. If I were pumping you for information, I'd have given up long ago. You're going to make an excellent lawyer someday."

He smiled, ran his hand through her hair. "Someday. If I survive this war."

"If any of us survive it," she said, and she kissed him again. "But I'm not going to worry about that right now, are you?"

He kissed her neck. "No. Not right now."