A/N : In response to a review: Lizzie's diagnosis can be found in chapter seven. Details about her illness can be found in chapters 1,2, and 13. (probably others yet to come) but I've already explained what is wrong with her. Hope this clears up any confusion!
New note. I didn't know why i had written the scene with Geordi in Engineering until today.. sorry...
His head had already fogged up again. He fought to clear it. It was too soon. Too soon. He had to be careful.. Purposeful.. Controlled..
"-n't heard a thing I said have you, Number One?"
He rubbed his face and turned his gaze from Lizzie's giggling form and back to the boy at his side.
" I apologize Admiral. My mind had wandered." He whispered in his best repentant Star Fleet Officer voice. "It won't happen again."
"See that it doesn't Number One." The boy's face broke uncharacteristically out of character as he regarded his God Father. "I was talking about my communiqué with Melora."
"Lizzie's birthday party." He sighed. "Did she give you any insider information on Gemworld?"
"You'll find out." He grinned, watching Lizzie turn circles, her arms stretching out towards the android who caught her effortlessly before letting her float away from him like a balloon. He turned his eyes back to Jack. "It's going to be-." The boy stopped his face immediately going blank.
"What's wrong?" Will's head shot back towards Lizzie, but she was still playing happily.
"Didn't you feel it?" Jack asked him quizzically.
"Feel what?"
"The Enterprise has just jumped to Warp 9, Sir." B4 told him quickly stepping out of the zero gravity field with unnatural ease.
"Why?" Will shook his head as the Lieutenant's communicator chirped.
"Bridge to Lt. Commander B4." Worf rumbled through the link.
"B4 here."
"Please report to the bridge."
"Is there a problem Commander?" Will interrupted unconsciously leaning towards the android's communicator.
"We've received a distress call, Sir." Worf's voice dropped. "From shuttle craft seven."
"Leah." Will whispered, shooting an alarmed glance at his second officer.
"On my way." The android obediently started towards the door. Will's eyes shot to where Lizzie floated in zero G chasing after Sienna Picard.
"Go." Jack said suddenly. "I'll help Nurse Powell get her home."
"Are you sure?" Will implored his young friend.
"Geordi needs his Captain on the bridge."
Will nodded at him before running his hand over the boys head and making his way out the door.
"Report."
If anyone was surprised to see their currently on leave Captain half stagger out onto his bridge in civilian clothes they didn't react.
"Complete engine failure, she's lost forward thrusters. Life support is fluctuating.." Geordi LaForge's voice was near panic. "The whole thing just started shutting down."
"Why?" Will snapped looking towards B4 who shook his head slowly.
"No apparent cause Captain."
"How soon can we get to her?"
"Not soon enough Captain." Geordi yelled before studying the schematics again. "Honey, did you try retooling the central force collaborators?"
"Negative. That's how I lost my secondary power source." Her voice was oddly calm. "I'm trying to plot arou- forward- if it can't-."
"Leah?" Will watched Geordi lean towards his station. "Don't divert any more engery from the rear thrusters they're too weak as it is. You hit something out there and it'll throw you into a dead spin."
"-of running - tions!" Her broken message cut through the air.
"Is their anywhere she can put this thing down?" Will yelped.
"Negative Sir. Nothing class M near by."
"Of course not."
"The USS Horatio is 20 minutes from the location Sir."
"You hear that?" Geordi huffed. "Keep her going for 20 more minutes."
"Life support in the shuttle is down to fourteen percent." B4 announced.
"-think-supp-n't."
"Can we get a better link?" Geordi looked helplessly at Worf. The Klingon growled slightly at his consol.
"ave- thi- kids…" The choppy words were thick with tears of defeat. Will let them ring in his ears.
"Leah. You just have to-." Laforge pleaded.
"Sir Life support is-." Riker held his hand up to the android silencing his countdown.
"Just hang on. The Horatio is going to be there."
The com link crackled eerily around them before LaForge's consol chirped. Will circled up the ramp and stood at his side.
I love you and the kids. You'll remember how I'm always with you, right?
Will Riker put his hand on his friends shoulders as he shook his head.
"No. No.. I'm not.." He looked at the panel as if he could magically undo what was happening. "No."
"Life Support has failed." Worf said solemnly. "I am detecting no life signs from the shuttlecraft."
"Geordi." Will whispered softly. Tightening his grip on his Engineers arm. "I'm sorry."
"She can fix this. She's a Goddamn Engineer."
"She's gone." Will breathed, swallowing hard against the rolling nausea welling up in him. "I'm so sorry."
"She can't be.." He shook his head and turned towards Worf who was now standing with Gibson at Tactical.
"I am detecting no life signs from the shuttle." He repeated softly, with the voice of a widower instead of a warrior. Will's head was pounding louder than the Klingon's voice.
"No life signs..?" LaForge whispered softly his shoulders sagging forward. "No li-."
Will looked up at B4. It was Data he saw though, strong resourceful dependable Data. His mind reconstructing him for Riker in this moment off ciaos like a shield. He noticed the way the androids head tilted a silent Data like nod. Will wondered if the android knew how badly Will needed his strength.
"Take him to the Ready room." He turned his face towards Gibson his first officer was nothing but a blurry shimmering blob.. "Call Judith and Beverly to.." He gestured after LaForge. "Worf, contact the Horatio. Make.. Preparations,, to retrieve the shuttle craft and.. the Dr.." He took a slow breath, imploring himself not to vomit. "You have the bridge Number one." He stumbled to the Observation lounge before his knee's buckled and he dropped onto the carpet.
His fingers fumbled for the hypo spray he'd had in his pocket pressing it desperately against his skin only to hear the hesitant grunt of an empty chamber. He dropped it, letting it roll under the table before he dropped back against the wall.
…...
"Are you sure?" Deanna fretted, running her finger over the tiny red bump on her son's spine.
"Yes. Deanna he's fine." After a week of gentle new mother coddling Beverly Picard had met her match. Deanna Riker was officially driving her crazy.
"You sound just like Will." The woman snapped.
"I'm sorry." The redheaded Doctor took a deep breath. "I can't imagine what you are going through. I can't imagine how Will's feeling!"
"Well, that makes two of us." Deanna interrupted tersly, as she rewrapped her son.
"Deanna?"
"He's blocking me." Her mind reached out instinctively to his like it did every time she faced the fact that he had closed himself off. Only this time she could feel the shreds of.. something. She reached further.
"You've both been though so much. Maybe he's feeling-." She didn't hear Beverly's voice. She pulled Luc closer to her chest, and leaned against the biobed as the feelings began to untangle. "Deanna."
"Will." Her voice was barely a whisper, and that was all Beverly Picard was going to get as she suddenly sprinted out of Sickbay.
"Deanna!" Beverly started to follow, halting in her tracks as Worf's voice summoned her to the bridge.
Deanna Troi got there first, wild eyed and panicked.
"Counselor.." Worf began before she put up a hand and thrust Luc quickly into his before making her way towards the observation lounge. Leaving a very uncomfortable Klingon in her wake.
He hadn't realized he'd dropped his barriers, but he wasn't entirely surprised when the doors hissed open and her arms surrounded him. He pressed his forehead against her belly and started to sob.
"Shh.. Will.. It's alright." She told him quickly. "Everything's going to be alright."
I wasn't and he knew it.
He knew his grasp was weakening, that emotions carefully guarded for years upon years were pressing against the doors of the closet he'd kept them locked in.
He turned his face against her tiny body and gasped for breath, trying in vain to reconstruct the wall he'd had between him.
He felt her gasp, her body lurching like she'd been socked in the gut. He grit his teeth and tried to pull back the escaping emotions.
"No." She pleaded, her arms tightening around him. "Let it go."
His chest heaved as he fought her request., his eyes squeezing shut as she tilted his head back .
"Will.." She whispered again, tracing his temple with her index finger. "Imzadi please.."
His blue eyes clicked open and her lips parted as his mind slowly started to inch the door further open. The emotions tumbled past him and splayed out at her feet. The pain and loneliness, the feelings of failure and defeat. The aching need for her that went unanswered. The fear and physical agony that had followed him through Luc's pregnancy. The toll that his unwavering strength and support had cost him made it's way up her spine.
It was the hopelessness of the failed pregnancies that hit her the hardest. Their was utter distain at her desire to keep trying after one, two, three babies had been lost. The regret and guilt of not knowing them, mixed with the remorseful relief each time one was lost to spare her life. His anger at her was hot and it burned her. The need of hers to parent a biological child enraged him. Their mutual abandonment of his needs for hers, for Lizzie's for the ship… again and again clenched around her heart. His jealously of their son and her unwavering attention to him and the unyielding feeling of shame and disgust in himself for feeling that way was what dropped her own body towards the deck. Riker's grasp of her shifted as he pulled her onto his lap. Clutching her to his breast like a child.
Her mind encircled his, uncovering pictures of his fears. That she'd never get over her consumption with Luc's health, for Lizzie and his feelings of loss for her old more accepting home on the Titian, then of his ongoing fight with the medication that had made their son's life possible. Her eyes darted to the disregarded hypo under the table and then back to him.
She waited until his mind was an empty white haze before she resumed soothing him. Her own body still shivering with tears. He was spent, his hollowed eyes slipping softly shut as his head nestled just below her clavicle.
"It's going to be alright now." She whispered softly, before dropping her words directly into his hazy brain.
We'll get through this. We will.
"Geordi.." He whispered hesitantly.
"Not now." She said softly. "Can you get up?" He considered it before nodding into her. She set her feet on the ground and he absently pulled the two of them to a standing position. She pulled him towards the rear turbolift, avoiding the bridge. "Deck ten." She whispered.
There was no curiosity from him. No wonder, just utter exhaustion and it stung her. The lift opened and she lead him down the hall of guest quarters until she reached the VIP area and keyed open one of the doors.
She lead him into the bedroom, rolling back the blankets and easing him down on the bed.
"I'll be right back." She promised. His hand gripped at her wrist anyway. Deanna met his eyes.
I will be right back.
His eyes slipped shut and his hand released her arm.
"Computer secure door Troi omega one five Riker. " She called as it swished open and closed behind her.
"Door secure."
Beverly Picard wiped her eyes with her long fingers before smiling sadly at Judith. McKenna leaned forward, touching Geordi's knee with her hand, talking softly to him. Geordi cuddled Luc closer to his chest, grateful for the baby's sudden appearance.
B4 stood crisply as if he was on guard. She found herself wondering about the androids own 'soul' for a second. Leah and Geordi had acted like adoptive parents to him after Data's 'death'. She wondered what her sudden departure did for the seemingly child like android.
"Do you have any questions Commander?" Beverly asked him gently.
"Many Doctor." B4 asked slowly, turning his head to face hers. "Many."
The doors suddenly shifted open and a tear saddened Deanna Riker rushed into the room, stopping only when it's occupants all looked towards her.
"I'm truly sorry to interrupt." She announced.
"I wondered when you'd come for him." Beverly whispered. "Worf was quite stunned."
"Yes.." Deanna murmered distractedly realizing she was refuring to the baby.
"If you don't mind Counselor I'd like to hold him a little longer." Geordi sniffed.
"Of course.. Geordi.. As long as you need.." She tried to remember to be consoling, compassionate. He'd just lost his wife. All she felt was frantic. "Beverly can I see you?" She grabbed the other woman's medkit from the table and gestured out the door.
"Deanna?" The doctor followed her into the hall.
"Please…" She tugged at her friends sleave, pulling her into the lift and out onto deck ten.
"Deanna what's going on?"
"Remove door lock authorization Troi omega one five Riker." the door swished open and she lead Beverly into the the bedroom. "Please.. As a friend. I'll explain later."
"Deanna.." Beverly pulled her friend back out towards the main room of the VIP quarters.
"I will explain later." She held up her hand to the other woman, fresh tears springing to her eyes. "Is he okay for now?"
"Yes. Medically."
"Will you look after Luc and Lizzie tonight?" She sniffed. "You can get B4 to stay in our quarters with her or take her to sickbay. Please Beverly…" She looked back towards Will. "Please. "
"Of course." Beverly's eyes begged for more explanation.
"Tomorrow." Deanna whispered.
"I'll hold you to that." Beverly promised.
"Take care of my babies." She pleaded. Beverly nodded as Deanna walked her to the door. Picard hugged her before stepping out. "Computer secure door, medical override only Troi omega one five Riker."
She moved towards the guest bedroom,
"Deanna.." His voice was sorrowful, she shushed him, pulling him into her arms like a child.
"Later." She ordered. "You're so tired Will."
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
"No." She told him, pressing her lips to his head. "None of that now."
His eyes shut stubbornly and she sent him wave after wave of acceptance. She would have no more of this.
"None of this was your fault." She reminded him. "None of it. Except for holding it back from me for so long." She shushed his attempt at explanation. "I know why." She sniffed back tears again. "And for that I'm sorry Imzadi. I truly am."
She batted his protective argument away and sent her own amount of mother tiger back at him. She'd forgotten, somewhere along her quest that despite his brandish exterior he had an extremely fragile soul.
"Deanna.." The breath he'd been struggling with flowed out of him and she moved closer, the feeling of being on edge start to melt away. She pressed her lips against his skin again. "Deanna.."
"I'm here." and that's all he needed to know.