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Will you marry me?
"How the hell did you get your hand messed up so bad?" Dis looked at his bandaged hand. The purple colour of the bruising in his palm had extended past his wrist to the middle of his forearm.
"Training", he looked away.
"Dwalin told us what happened this morning," Frerin crossed his arms.
"So you know, what's the point of an interrogation?" He looked up annoyed.
"Your ferocity is the point. Dwalin said that you were unstoppable. You grabbed the mace with your bare hand and pushed him and it several feet in the air. His weapon and his forearm broke," Frerin frowned and Dis looked at him worriedly.
"That is our fighting style," he dismissed his little brother.
"No, it's not," Frerin leaned close, "you maybe harder on him than on me, but you are never so violent. You can both control yourselves so that neither gets hurt."
"We do," Thorin's stern look did little to discourage his brother.
"You didn't this time and that worries me," Frerin looked back at Dis, "not only me, but Dis and Dwalin also."
Thorin cupped his forehead, "it was a small loss of control on my behalf. I will figure things out with Dwalin, stay out of this."
Frerin crossed his arms patiently, "We are not here to interfere in your friendship with the grim reaper of Erebor," Dis snorted under her palm and Thorin's eyes fell on her crossly, "don't look at her like that. We are here because we are worried Thorin. This isn't just about today. This is about you the last three months"
He felt the blood draining from his face, "During which, I've been training like an animal…."
Frerin raised his finger to intercept him, "….burying yourself in the library when you are not smashing war hammers with your bare palm, forging the life out of every sword in the kingdom and prefer to study calligraphy alone instead of spending time with us. What is going on brother?"
Thorin inhaled deeply, "I don't know. What do you want me to say…"
"The truth. What is it that ails you so bad?" Dis frowned and embraced him gently from the back.
He felt his heart mellowing and he released a sigh, "Just me and Thrain clashing our horns", he tried to brush off their genial concern with any shallow excuse he could find. He found it impossible to unravel how his two year love story with Siv ended. He had kept his relationship a secret from everyone apart from Dwalin and eventually his father, mostly in need to protect Siv's privacy and honour, until he could wed her and make it official. He wasn't going to undo that now and stain her memory.
Frerin twisted his head testily, but his face softened a little, "Dad is freaking you out again?"
Dis pressed her lips, "he always does that to him. Remember how he never allowed him to join when grandfather used to play with us?"
Frerin looked down and nodded.
"What did he used to tell you Thorin?" She pinched his cheek.
He pushed her hand away bothered, "stern majesty Thorin, always stern majesty!" He mimicked their father's voice.
Dis giggled and Frerin smiled, "keep your back straight," he pulled Thorin's shoulders,"eyes looking past everyone else at the back wall, cold and derisive," Frerin's hands steadied his head up, "lips thin and lofty. Haughtiness Thorin runs in your blood!" Frerin's fingers pulled the sides of his mouth to fix the lofty lips, but his brother pushed him away, "stand back you idiot."
Frerin laughed genially, "now that's better. See Dis? I think we can fix up his mood. What eludes me is why it took us so long to try it…"
"Close this silly book and come outside with us Thorin!" Dis fell on his back and squeezed his shoulders playfully.
"Not now gerbil," he tried to shake her off.
"I swear he is becoming a grumpy old man even though he is only sixty," she turned at Frerin.
"She's right you know. Stop this self induced seclusion and come with us. Aren't you tired of running after Thrain?" Frerin fell on his sister's back and Thorin humphed.
"Don't forget that he has to run after Thror also. He's become some sort of male nanny to grandpa" Dis chuckled, "haven't you, my big kingly brother, yes my brooding sweetheart," she pinched his cheeks.
He shook his head to get her off, "gerbil enough!" He warned.
"nah, nah, nah, today you are coming with us at Dale no matter what. Don't make me burn this book!" Dis drew it from under him and shuffled through it's pages, "I don't understand really. Does dad expect you to learn all this by heart?"
Thorin rubbed his eyes and yawned, "he didn't say these exact words, but he wouldn't say no if I did either".
"I bet," Dis looked up at Frerin playfully and the younger brother raised his brow in confusion.
"How far will it land?" She whispered.
Frerin looked at the long corridor of the north eastern library chamber, "meh, three tables? it's bloody heavy"
"Don't you dare!" Thorin made to get up and Dis screeched and threw it away before her huge older brother reached her.
Thorin exhaled and placed his hands on his thick leather belt, "clever much?"
Dis approached and started playing with the strings of his tunic that were undone, "come on Thorin, I'll take you to that music shop at the entrance of Dale…." Her voice pleaded in a singsong manner.
He raised his brow.
"Ah…keep it up sis, I think we got a fish in the nets", Frerin laughed and picked up the heavy book.
"Remember that golden harp you liked so much, but never got around to buying?" She flicked her eyebrow at him.
"Of course, but what's the occasion?"
"Your birthday is coming up silly. Me and Frerin are going to buy it for you and we need to make sure it is the one you want. You might need to try it out, to make sure it works just fine, you know?" She said casually and tightened the strings of his tunic making a small bow out of them.
He waved her hands away and untied it, "I don't want to play any music".
Her face fell and she looked worriedly at Frerin, "Yep, that's right. You've also stopped playing music."
"The books of the Elders are going to swallow you and then exert your remains in this very chair. You've had your nose hidden between the pages of Mazarbul long enough," Dis dismissed him.
"I also need someone to train with me again brother. I miss that," Frerin added meaningfully.
Thorin showed him his wounded palm, "remember my brutality? Do you want me to get violent on you this time little brother?"
Frerin scrounged his nose, "you'd never do that with me, but even if you did I can hold my own against you. Worry not. Challenge me….it would do us both a world of good. None other trains me as hard as you apart from dad and lately he is in a peculiar mood also."
A dark shadow passed Thorin's brow, "fine we'll train tomorrow morning after breakfast."
"Good, but that won't be enough to send us out of here. Today you are coming with us…" Frerin raised a warning finger.
"You are paling down here. Without the sun to burn your skin all the lovely ladies that pine after you are going to find another candidate…" she swished her shoulders playfully and winked at him.
He felt his stomach revolting suddenly and his cheeks paled.
"Look at his face dropping even at the idea of marriage. Dis stop teasing him," Frerin laughed.
"Frerin is going to get all the good ones," she winked at him.
Thorin's face darkened by degrees and he took the heavy book from Frerin's hands angrily, "I hope he does, then maybe you can get off my back with all this nonsense."
Dis pursed her lips and grabbed his shoulders again, "I am only teasing, you know that. Now, will you come out with us to the music shop. Pretty please?"
He placed the book at the table and his large hand enveloped Dis's tenderly, "is it that important for you?"
"For me and for Frerin too," she said with a sweet smile he missed.
"I am coming then," he patted her hand.
"Perfect! Now let's go get the ladies. It will take only a single smile from you and you'll end up with more than twenty flower crowns…." Frerin winked at him.
He felt his throat drying out and tried to hide his face from his siblings, "I thought she was the one with the teenage hormones and that you've escaped that awkward stage brother."
"Well, I have!" Frerin roared proudly.
"Doesn't look that way," Thorin raised his brow almost playfully. Their lighthearted attitudes was beginning to rub off on him. Maybe today he could afford to be a little less broody, right?
"Hey hey hey, be careful because I am almost the same height as you now. You cannot overpower me so easily!" Frerin warned.
Thorin smirked, "I won't even try little brother. Now does this trip to Dale include free drinks?" He looked at his sister that was playing with her braids.
"As much ale as you need to start smiling again and the harp," Dis smiled at him sweetly.
"Sure," he reciprocated the smile and cupped her cheek lovingly.
She stood on tiptoe and landed a heartfelt sloppy kiss on his cheek, "Great, first the music shop and then I am buying drinks at the Dusty Anvil. A deal?"
Thorin nodded for the first time feeling eager to get out of the hellhole he buried himself in after Siv's death, but his timid happiness was short lived. Thrain caught up with them as they were walking quickly past the throne room and his heavy voice stopped them, "what the hell are you up to, all of you?"
Dis turned around happily, "a small trip to Dale daddy. I've finished all my homework and I've helped mom with everything she needed."
Thrain looked critically at Frerin, "you?"
"Finished training, although without Thorin it's just a game and I've been helping with the furnaces and some masonry work at the southern end halls where we had some pillar collapsing at places."
Thrain nodded, "Fjalvari informed me of the problem," then he turned at Thorin and his eyes thinned, "how about you?"
Thorin crossed his arms, "which task -of the infinite ones I've been burdened with- are you asking about?"
Dis sucked air through her teeth and Frerin tensed.
"You Thorin are the heir to the throne, not a simple princeling! Your tasks and your training never ends! Who told you, you can leave for Dale today? We have a meeting of the chancellors from the four major caverns of the city, and an additional meeting with the head miners that have several requests about the safety of the new tunnels that have reached pretty close to the dormant volcano. Your presence is a requirement!" Thrain thrust his chin up loftily.
"There he goes again…." Dis muttered and threw her hands in the air.
"Shut your pretty little mouth missy. Want to go to Dale? Take Frerin and go. No one is stopping you," Thrain pointed at her angrily.
"The point was us digging Thorin out of the grave he has dug himself into, or haven't you noticed dad? What are you? Blind? Look at him!" Dis showed her brother exasperated.
"I see the proud heir of Durin, daughter. Do we see different things?" Thrain raised his brow.
She took several steps and it was Thorin's hand that stopped her, "I see the heir of Durin broken and I don't know what to do to fix him. I try…" she turned to Frerin, "…we try and you always mess it up. Can't you back up for once? Leave him alone. Just for a day!"
Thrain's jawline tensed, "The sons of Durin don't break."
Frerin humphed and closed his eyes, "you father are completely delirious, forgive me. Haven't you noticed that something is wrong with your oldest son truly or did all this gold blind you as it has already done to grandpa?"
"Enough!" Thorin's deep voice roared and reverberated through the statues of his forefathers. Frerin inhaled sharply and lowered his eyes, "enough brother, please."
Frerin rebelled, "no it's not enough. We've all learned what grandpa did to Thranduil with the white gems and you are coming down next," he pointed at his father, "you are becoming blind to anything that doesn't concern this grand city, this majestic stronghold and it's rivers of gold. Even to your own children. Think only Thorin has complaints? Think again."
"I am here to discuss everything with you children and you know that. What is this united front against me today?" Thrain frowned taken aback.
"We are not here to discuss our complaints father, but to get him out to see some sun, have a drink and some fun!" Frerin retorted.
"Please Frerin, not now," Thorin looked at his brother beseechingly.
"Don't push us out of this one Thorin. Let us help you," Dis looked up at him almost pleadingly.
A small ghostly smile appeared at his lips and his rough hand caressed the side of her face gently, "I will be alright gerbil. Go with Frerin and I will see you later tonight. I won't be able to skip this chancellor meeting he is talking about. I've forgotten all about it. There is no point getting into each other's throats over the inevitable."
Thrain's face softened.
She felt tears welling in her eyes and embraced him with a sincerity that took his breath away, "We will buy you the harp. Please come at dinner tonight. Don't isolate yourself. I miss you. We miss you."
"I will come don't worry. Go and let me handle this," he whispered to her ear and she nodded but before leaving him she turned to her father with a ferocity that surprised everyone, "It's his birthday in a couple of days and we wanted to buy him a present father. That was today's special occasion, but I suppose the heir to Erebor's damned throne is not allowed to celebrate his birthday with his siblings, even though lately he needs us more than you will ever understand!"
Thrain opened his mouth to speak, but Thorin spoke above him with command, "Frerin take her and go please."
Frerin nodded solemnly and took his sister from the elbow, "I expect you in my room tonight. She will be there also. We'll have your ale ready and waiting," his playful smirk warmed Thorin's heart. He nodded at his brother as they walked hesitantly away from him.
Then his soft blue eyes hardened and a heavy silence befell between father and son.
Thrain walked up to him slowly, "you must think I am cruel to you."
Thorin pressed his lips and shook his head, "no."
Thrain stood in front of his son, several inches sorter, but just as stern as his oldest son had become, "I have to mould you."
The hairpin on Thorin's mouth twitched, "haven't you done that already?"
"Have I, or is there more to do?" Thrain looked at him thoughtfully.
"You managed to make me drop the love of my life in order to serve yours and Thror's purposes. I'd say you've moulded me adequately enough," Thorin's voice was deeply sarcastic.
"You regret your decisions?"
"Oh indeed, for I am not a monster, even though anyone would have thought me as such if they knew what I did," Thorin frowned.
Thrain shook his head, "They would have thought you as loyal to a fault, which is what makes you so special. That is what gives me hope that you will manage to make this grand city flourish when I am gone."
"We've already gone through this routine, so inform me about the chancellors and let's get over all this," Thorin dismissed him.
Thrain's heavy hand landed on his bicep and tightened like a vice, "your sister thinks I haven't noticed what is going on. Your brother thinks I am an ignorant fool, but I know more than they do. I know what haunts you and it breaks my heart to see you slipping away from me day after day. Don't you think I notice how many hours you pass in the library and down at the central blacksmith caverns? Don't you think I've craved your presence in our family dinners and each time you don't appear I get a stab in the heart? Don't you think I have to find every available excuse to calm down your mother's worry? She cannot get a footing on what's been going on between us. Don't you think I am in pain from seeing you in so much anguish? Ever since that nightmare took place, Siv has taken with her the biggest part of you. You are my son and I love you. No matter how much I may have hurt you, I still love you Thorin and I don't know how to fix all this for you."
Thorin's eyes watered, "you cannot fix that which is broken."
Thrain closed his eyes, "tell me what it is you want me to do and I will do it. Anything."
"Bring her back to me," a tear escaped his eyes and trailed down his cheek.
Thrain paled, "I cannot."
"I know," his haunted voice replied.
Thrain tightened his jawline, "I cannot let you fade to darkness Thorin and I shall not be as gentle as Dis or playful as your brother in this task. I will kick your ass back to the light if I have to. You must sustain for our family, for this city, for yourself."
Thorin's smile was bitter, "our family, this city, myself. Putting things in the proper order."
"Don't manipulate my words to make me look heartless, for I am not!" Thrain warned him.
"Father what's the point of all this tell me. Am I not commanding your army? Do I not stand next to Thror day and night trying to keep him from harming himself or others as he is falling deeper down the rabbit's hole? Don't I try to study as hard or even harder than you have ever wished me, for a soldier? Am I not training enough?" He showed his bloody and bruised palm at Thrain, "didn't I send her away in the end to become a puppet in this silent stage show behind the flamboyant curtains that hide the truth from the common people? I buried her for you. I buried my one and only chance in love and now you have the whole of me and you still want more? I have nothing more to give."
"I want my son back!" Thrain hissed.
Thorin shook his head, "I think he remained at the bottom of a sharp cliff. Want to go find him for both of us?"
Thrain's eyes overflowed with tears, "I only did what was best for you."
"For our family father. You did what was best for our family, not for me," Thorin corrected him.
"You are going to hold our family together when everything else falls apart. I understand your pain son, but you were born for this…."
"…hell. I was born for this hell and I cannot change neither my heritage nor my blood. But how about who I truly am behind all this lofty theatre? Stern authority, majesty, austerity, graveness, a hand of steel and a sharp mind. All the while trying to wake up the dormant diplomat in me, which will probably never happen for I am worst than you on that manner. Who told you that I will ever make a good King? That all this sacrifice, this unfair loss of life had a deeper purpose? How can you believe yourself so omnipotent?" Thorin shook his head dejected, "I am just a slow boiling volcano that waits for some release. It might never happen, but I fear more the moment it does. I am in more pain than I have ever thought possible and everyday I feel like someone is tearing my soul apart. Still through all this I am trying to be the commander you require. What more do you want?"
Thrain pulled back teary, "…don't do this…"
"What's wrong? guilt will gnaw your mind into madness? Rest assured all this hell I am going through was not your fault, but mine. The final decision was mine and I will stand by it, by you and by this family till my last breath. Siv died because of me and I have to carry that burden to the end of my days. Even if the gold sickness hasn't affected me yet, I am sacrificing my life for it as much as Thror does. Isn't that ironic?"
"I am sorry son," Thrain looked crestfallen.
"Imagine my mother dead in your arms, before she ever had the chance to give birth to your children…."
Thrain paled.
"Now father you are standing in my place. Is it as coveted as you want to make it appear to my siblings?" Thorin's countenance emptied.
"No my boy," Thrain said heartbroken.
"Let us lay all this to rest then…" Thorin exhaled.
"Son, just give me a chance to try to help you…" Thrain tried to grab his arm, but Thorin pulled free.
"You cannot do more than what I am already doing. I will be at the library to study until it's time for the meeting. Anything else?"
Thrain swallowed a heavy throat, "maybe you should go outside with Frerin and Dis today…the chancellors will understand once I explain…"
Thorin shook his head, "I will attend as propriety requires. Besides the problem with the new tunnels close to the volcano was something that I wanted to check first hand anyway".
Thrain looked at him obviously affected "Will you attend our family dinner tonight, please? For your mother's sake?"
"Certainly…," Thorin said and turned his back to his father. His footsteps led him easily back down to the dusty library where the smell of ancient books filled his nose and dried out his fresh tears.
-.-
Eilin felt his exhalation at the side of her neck and her body broke out in goosebumps. Then his breath became steady again and she released the terrified breath she'd been holding. How awkward and embarrassing would it have been for the King of Erebor to wake up with her looming next to him like some hungry apparition from hell? Shouldn't she pull back now that she had picked up her small wooden bead from the floor next to his bed, instead of standing frozen so close to him? Why the hell were her fingers so close to touching one of his warrior braids? She was going to wake him up and he was going to find her hanging above him like a ghoul and then she would end up getting fired and going back to the Ironhills in the best of cases, or out in the Dunlands in the worst. Why was she risking the safety of her position amongst these legendary Longbeards in this silly and imprudent manner?
She had only meant to pick up her hair bead -which was next to his bed- after rushing into his rooms with the intend to wake him up and inform him that some mad wizard was at the entrance and was raising hell in order to see him. Then she found herself locked almost mystically in this position with her cheek almost brushing against his and every single cell in her body awoke by some uncalled force of nature. The tension in her stomach couldn't have been attributed to apprehension, because it felt warm and inviting. Instead of pulling away quickly as she should have, she just stood there, trying not to breathe too hard and wake him up. Wondering what the hell was she doing next to Thorin Oakenshield with her hand lingering above his hair, her nose enjoying his scent and her ears calming down from his steady breathing.
When the door was thrown open she backed away so quickly that she stumbled on the side of his mattress, yelped and caught herself from the column at the foot of his bed. Her heart was racing and she was seeing starts from hyperventilating. Her vocal reaction in combination with the stern voice of Dwalin was enough to make the King open his eyes.
"Wake up Thorin!" The huge bodyguard came in hurriedly and then paused and looked at Eilin with confusion, "why didn't you wake him up like Balin told you?"
"I was trying…" she muttered and felt her cheeks blushing deeply.
Dwalin dismissed her with a shake of his head and turned to a freshly woken Thorin that sat up in bed and rubbed his face, "bloody wizard is downstairs making a racket! We told him he was not allowed into the city and he threatens to bring it down from the root! You need to get down there and shape him up!"
Thorin looked confused towards the door, "wizard?" He asked feeling dizzy as he woke up from another vivid nightmare.
"Bloody Gandalf! He is swishing his staff and threatens to bring down the entrance if you don't allow him in or come to see him. I don't like him, but you know I believe that he is capable of making his threats come true!" Dwalin roared.
Thorin raised his palms, "calm down for Mahal's sake. I am coming."
Dwalin inhaled deeply and his face softened, "you don't look very much rested," he noticed.
Thorin stood up and groaned annoyed, "Now you noticed. Well good morning back at you", he scolded.
Eilin withdrew her eyes from his half naked body feeling even more flustered especially after what happened a few minutes ago. She didn't know if he noticed and spared her more embarrassment if possible, or he simply wanted to get things done himself, but he wore his tunic and without any assistance stood straight and managed to buckle up.
"Anyone else down there?" He asked Dwalin.
"His threats have gathered a rather large audience".
Thorin nodded, "I was expecting him earlier."
"Well, he arrived with a vengeance."
Thorin turned to his maiden that was standing there like a frozen statue looking at her feet, "Eilin go down to the kitchens and make us some breakfast," then he turned to Dwalin, "eaten yet?"
Dwalin offered him the first honest smile since he stormed the bedroom like a hurricane, "Seeing you in need of food pleases me so much I'll eat as many breakfasts with you as I possibly can!"
Thorin grabbed his forearm and then turned at Eilin, "eggs available?"
She nodded quickly.
"Make us some," Thorin smirked.
"Yes, sir" she tittered and ran out of the room like she was on fire.
Dwalin mused after her, "does she always spree away like a ghost is on her bloody trail?"
Thorin flicked his shoulders, "Most of the times. Now let's go down to speak to our grey wizard. I've got a few things to tell him likewise," his voice turned several tones darker as he straightened his leather vest and put on his heavy boots with Dwalin's assistance.
-.-
The nasty feelings of his dream followed him down to the great hall that today was cleaner than he had ever seen it. The bell that had broken down the entrance upon his orders was being pulled up with thick ropes by two lines of several men each. Another one was standing on top of the bell giving orders in Khuzdul. The left side of the entrance was still debris filled, but the right side was rather clean and the lower levels were already been laid down by masons and each huge stone had at least two carvers working on it. The hall was riddled with voices giving orders, the hammering was way too loud for his sleepless head, but all that constant busy murmuring gave him a sense of renewal, a feeling of hope as his home was slowly getting rebuild. Not only by Dain's soldiers that devoted their labour on this formidable tasks, but also from the continuous incoming flow of vagabond dwarven families. Within a few days Thorin had a wide range of delvers, masons, craftsmen, waterworks engineers and furnace operators, woodsmen, medicine men-which didn't please Oin very much- as his set ideas about medical issues came head to head with few of them on various occasions, cooks, bankers -which pleased Gloin as he had someone to order around-, blacksmiths, and sentinels. Those who didn't have a particular trade were offered jobs as helpers to the masters and they were used as gravediggers.
His heavy boots clanked on the golden floor almost bereft of his usual limp and his face scowled deeply when he saw Gandalf from afar having a rather heated argument with Fili, Balin, Nori, and Dori.
"Bloody wizard cannot shut up", Dwalin leaned over while the walked.
"I can see", Thorin's face turned sour.
"Thorin! Well, don't you look good this morning?" Bofur alighted with them out of nowhere, but did sound out of breath which meant he ran to catch up with them.
"Good morning," he rejoined without slowing down.
"I want to talk to you urgently," Bofur winced.
"What can be more urgent than this huge mess?" Thorin thrust his chin towards the gates.
"Fain's daughters…" Bofur trailed off.
"They cannot be important in any sense whatsoever," the answer came dismissive.
"They are when their attitude is intolerable to other human beings. When they make a fool out of your maiden in front of all the people in the great dining room," Bofur said carefully.
Thorin stopped abruptly and his stolid eyes lifted up to him.
"Don't look at me like that. The daughters of Fain, especially that dark haired one, called your maiden a peasant in front of everyone and I thought you'd do well to learn about the non-quality of their character," Bofur raised his brow.
"Just because you salivate around his maiden, doesn't mean he has to take time out of his schedule to clear up such silly misunderstandings," Dwalin chastised him.
"What do you mean I salivate around Eilin?!" Bofur looked offended.
"Everybody including her has figured out that you want to bed her," Dwalin smirked.
Bofur went red from rage, "Bed her? What do you take me for? Some kind of no good low life! I assure you that if I care for this girl it's only because….
Thorin's large palms landed on their chests and pushed them back. "Enough", his deep voice rumbled and they both pulled back, "thank you for informing me," he said to Bofur and with no more words he continued to the gates.
Dwalin raised his brows provocatively, "told you this was not a good time!", he spat and followed Thorin.
"Aha! There you are then! I thought you were hiding from me!" Gandalf exclaimed.
"I was actually sleeping and your racket woke me up", He tilted his head sullenly.
"Good! Why did you give such a silly order as this! How can you not allow me back in Erebor? What kind of craziness has taken abode inside that handsome head of yours King under the mountain?" Gandalf cried loud enough to be heard by all.
Thorin's called on patience, "Lower that tone of yours and erase that haughty attitude grey wizard. We may have gone through a lot this past year, but you are taking this flamboyant idiocy a step too far." The muscles of his jawline tensed and his brow rose with a loftiness that silenced his interlocutor.
Gandalf's lips played with a small smile, "Hmm, speaking like a true King there, Thorin Oakenshield."
"Lower your staff also," Thorin's head tilted up haughtily and his finger pointed the staff downwards.
Gandalf raised his brow, "Very well. Won't you invite me to talk now that I did your bidding?"
Thorin crossed his arms and tilted his head slightly, "If you show proper respect as you stand right on my doorstep, I think we can talk".
"A doorstep I helped you reclaim, mind I remind you?" Gandalf said pointedly.
"Of which I have a few unpleasant things to divulge onto you grey wizard. Therefore hold back your inconsiderate words and act wisely from now on," Thorin warned.
Gandalf leaned his forearm on his staff and looked up to the dome of the entrance, "Very well, shall we talk here under the great bell, in danger of it getting loose and falling on our heads?"
Thorin smirked distastefully, "not in the mood to jest with you. Follow me."
Dwalin took hold of his shoulder, "shall I come?"
Thorin moved his head dismissively, "No," then he gestured and Gandalf followed him inside, while the rest remained behind.
"Hmm, you don't seem to be losing any time in rebuilding this masterpiece," Gandalf looked around him impressed.
"Don't play up, it doesn't suit you", Thorin shook his head annoyed.
"Alright, let's take this over again. You look well," Gandalf said as Thorin led them to the throne room.
"I feel better and that is one of the things I owe to you."
Gandalf smiled, "that -thank you- sounded grumpier than Dwalin losing on a bet."
"I will give credit where credit is due, but not all is well between us because of that Gandalf."
"I think I have figured that out already on my own thank you very much."
Thorin walked pensively at one of the long bridges that led to the throne room, kicking debris left and right, "Does your mind not even make a supposition as to why I banned you from the city?"
"Because I helped you reclaim it, because I saved your life so you can rule it, because I battled next to you as if this place belonged to me? I have no idea…." Gandalf looked at him patiently.
Thorin's brow rose to the ceiling.
Gandalf raised his finger, "because I gave you the key and the map in order to get inside, perchance?"
Thorin weighed him with deadpan eyes, "if you hadn't crossed my path my nephew would still be alive. Υour scheming cost me my boy," his eyes penetrated Gandalf's.
"The war took Kili's life. Neither me, nor you…so lay those demons to rest." Gandalf said calmly.
"If I hadn't reclaimed this mountain none of this would have happened," he continued unfazed.
"If you hadn't reclaimed it the whole of Middle earth would have been in grave danger."
Thorin looked up darkly.
Gandalf leaned over "You forced the enemy's hand when your company set out to reclaim your homeland. You were never meant to reach Erebor much less claim it back from Smaug. Azog the defiler was send by the necromancer to kill the heirs of Durin. He seeks control of the mountain not just for the treasure within but for where it lays. Erebor has a highly strategic position. This is the gate to reclaiming the lands of Angmar in the North, and if that dark Kingdom raises again, Rivendell, Lorien, the Shire, even Gondor itself won't stand a chance especially since the Ash Mountains are crawling with orcs. Your Kingdom Thorin is the dam that holds back a sea of destruction. You were not supposed to be alive now and ruling this great city. Durin's heirs were supposed to be dead and this land claimed by the armies of Orcs, connecting the strategic dots between this and Dol Guldur, pushing the Iron Hills easily out of the picture. Moria and the grey mountains are down already. You freed the biggest stronghold of the North. Do you think the Necromancer won't try to rid of you again? Or if he fails do you think he will not try to abduct and weaken you like he did with your father? If you prove resilient to all that don't you think he is going to try to lure you into an alliance in some deceptive manner? Instead of getting mad at me or the Elves for manipulating the heir of Durin into securing this golden position for the side of the good, concentrate on the things that will follow for you and your people, because you are not out of trouble yet. Actually, this is were real trouble begins for you King Oakenshield. This is where you must prove your resilience against the evil that raises in the East and seeks to destroy your family line and claim these lands. You ruined the plans of the necromancer and you are even more of a target now, than you had been before. Dare I say that you seriously pissed him off?"
Thorin signed deeply.
"How can you hope to remain out of this rancour, when you are one of it's bloody stones?!" Gandalf struck his staff on the floor and it echoed in the empty cavern.
"As always nothing about your scheming is left to chance…" Thorin looked at him loftily with a sarcastic up tilt of his lips.
Gandalf tilted his head and smiled, "I try…"
"you want me to swear my allegiance to Thranduil…" Thorin sobered up.
"Yes! Put your petty differences aside and become keepers of this passage for if it falls, we all fall! Dwarves, Elves and Men!" Gandalf said exasperated.
Thorin smirked, "The dwarves will never align with the Necromancer, but we don't need Elven assistance to keep this passage clear."
Gandalf looked at him grimly, "your stubbornness is beyond measure Thorin Oakenshield. You do need the Elves and they need you. You said you were willing to trade the Arkenstone with the white gems. That's a move to the right direction. Take it a step further and on my word of honour Thranduil will answer."
"I do not trust him," Thorin's voice flattened Gandalf's fire, "Bilbo spoke about the trade?"
Gandalf pulled back looking mentally exhausted by his try show this stubborn dwarf the inevitable, "Not only him, are you going to try to throw him off the bastions again?"
"That was low as hell…" Thorin's brow rose critically.
"I am trying to find a way to penetrate your steel exterior," Gandalf retorted.
"If it is Erebor's strategic position you worry about, rest assured that it will remain secure as long as I stand."
"Yet, you will need assistance. Mighty as you are, you cannot fight this alone. The Elves cannot either, neither can men. We all have to fight together against this consuming darkness. Learn to cooperate with others Thorin before it's too late. Wake up the bloody diplomat in you!" Gandalf said angrily.
"And put the bloody schemer in you to sleep…" Thorin's finger rose in caution, "…I am still grieving the loss of my nephew, take care of your attitude."
"Forgive me Thorin, but war will not wait for you to stop grieving…" Gandalf wised.
"I am well aware."
"So what about Thranduil?" Gandalf sat down on a boulder heavily.
"I am not yet decided," he replied loftily.
"You will turn your back at Thranduil even though he didn't turn his back at you during this war? Will you turn your back at Queen Galadriel even though she saved your life? I think you are angry because the death of Kili pained you deeply. I don't think you mean all of what you are saying…" Gandalf's voice softened.
Thorin crossed his arms behind his back quietly and looked at the broken throne at the end of the long bridge thoughtfully.
"Will you truly deny your allegiance to the Lady of Light?" Gandalf insisted.
"I cannot answer that which I do not yet know," he said quietly.
"Can you not show some trust in my advice? We have saved each other's lives on numerous occasions, that should earn me some amount of trust," Gandalf frowned.
"I wouldn't have reclaimed this mountain for you, while dead. Don't try to make this into some sort of camaraderie when it is clearly not". Thorin's eyes remained inexpressive.
"I could have chosen not to revive you back at Ravenhill. Then you had served your purpose. I could have allowed Dain to take over. Actually he would have been a much more willing ally, exactly because he is carrying less baggage than you", came the stony answer.
Thorin's eyelids fluttered and he exhaled softly, "indeed you could have done that."
Gandalf tilted his head.
"Why didn't you?"
"Because I believe you deserved a second chance, even though that stubborn head of yours is truly making me mad sometimes!" Gandalf cringed annoyed.
Thorin looked wistfully at the throne room, "you should have saved Kili, not me."
Gandalf backed up and sat down on a large boulder that littered the middle of that long corridor, "even though you may think I am a God, I assure you that I am not. My powers have limits."
Thorin emptied himself in another large stone and leaned his forehead to his palm feeling defeated, "I raised that boy since he was a toddler and my mind won't let me forget those times."
"One cannot get used to death. I know things are not easy for you," Gandalf took out his pipe and ignited it with the stone of his staff.
"No, you don't understand. I cannot stop seeing visions…ever since you brought me back …" Thorin's frown hid his devastation.
Gandalf raise this brow interested, "Visions?"
Thorin nodded and pressed the heel of his palm on his forehead, "Dreams or rather nightmares of the past. Of major events from my life years ago. When Queen Galadriel touched me they became more vivid and more lifelike. I don't know what is happening to me…"
Gandalf exhaled the smoke and then extended his hand offering the pipe, "it's old Toby…" he encouraged Thorin to look up.
"When I wake up from them, I cannot bring myself back to this reality. I am half out of my body most of the times…." He said and reached out for the pipe-weed.
"Maybe your mind is trying to tell you something," Gandalf pursed his lips thoughtfully.
Thorin inhaled the smoke and felt it gliding down his throat and into his lungs. He closed his eyes and exhaled in clear satisfaction, "yes, it's telling me that I am going mad."
Gandalf "it's telling you that you have unfinished business in there", he smiled and took back the smoking pipe.
Thorin humphed.
"Maybe there are many loose ends, or maybe there's only one that is causing all the rest to unravel," Gandalf flicked his shoulders.
They remained silent observing each other and the floor as they exchanged the pipe several times between each other. Gandalf thinking about Thorin's intentions towards the allegiance with the Elves and men, and Thorin trying to understand what it was that his mind was trying to tell him with all these visions and nightmares. What was the unfinished thread that was creating such havoc inside his mind, and no one would have disturbed that fragile truce between them under the spell of the Old Toby, if it wasn't for a woman that cried out a name and made them look up.
"Jóhild, come back now!"
"Wait mom, no," the girl said and ran up to them out of breath.
Thorin looked her, feeling the calming effects of the smoke caressing over his bruised nerves, "Don't I know you from somewhere?"
The girl giggled and covered her mouth, "I met you at the gates mister remember? I sang for you"
"He is not a mister Jóhild for Mahal's sake. He is the KING!" Her mother scolded and came up behind the child, "Excuse me Uzbad please. We didn't mean to interrupt you and the grey wizard, but I couldn't stop her."
"I saw you from there," the kid showed behind her, "and I wanted to say hi!"
"The moment she saw you she wanted to come over. I tried to stop her but she runs like the wind," her mom said and bowed respectfully.
"It's really no problem. So is it only hi you wanted to tell me Jóhild?" He asked with a soft smile that made Gandalf's eyes shine with silent interest.
"yeah" she moved her body left and right.
"Hello back at you. Was there anything else?" He raised his brow.
She giggled and hid behind her mother.
"Oh Jóhild, don't do this. You wanted to talk to the King, so this is your chance!" Her mom sounded annoyed. A couple of women that were passing by with freshly washed clothes in their baskets stopped from afar to see what was going on.
"Mooom!" She whined and peaked behind her mom's long skirt.
Thorin looked slyly at her, "Come here, I won't bite."
She slowly pulled away from her mom and came over as he beckoned her. He reached out his large hand and showed his palm, "give me your hand."
She hesitated.
"Do I scare you?"
She nodded and then giggled and then shook her head.
"You confuse her and I can relate," Gandalf laughed and released a large puff of smoke that formed into a perfect butterfly.
Jóhild looked at it wide eyed, "that's just wow mister!"
"Well thank you", Gandalf smiled proudly and winked at her.
Thorin pressed his lips, "I am still waiting for your hand."
Jóhild giggled and placed her small hand in his, "there, happy?" She asked.
"Enchanted my little lady," he said and kissed her small hand with a gentleness that made Gandalf smile sweetly.
She screeched and drew back her hand. Then she started hopping around like a rabbit and laughing. Her mother laughed also.
"What's that you've got behind your back?" Thorin pointed at her.
Jóhild stopped and as if remembering something very important she ran up to him and placed a flower crown right on top of his head. She pulled back, checked it and then returned to straighten it up, "there" she said.
Thorin's lips upturned into a radiant smile that caused several hearts to flip over from the female spectators, "is this for me?"
Jóhild nodded eagerly, "mom says that we can give flower crowns to the man we want to marry."
Her mother covered her face and turned around embarrassed.
Thorin laughed and held her tiny forearm, "so you want to marry me?"
Jóhild nodded eagerly, "yes!"
"Am I not a bit too old for you?" He raised his brows.
"I am ten, how old are you?" Jóhild asked innocently.
Thorin scrounged his lips, "almost two hundred", he whispered.
Jóhild tried to calculate but failed, "is that a lot?"
"More than a lot! You are a flower bud and he is a rotting corpse!" Gandalf intervened roguishly.
Jóhild bit her lower lip and her eyes rolled to the ceiling, "dad is one hundred and seventy!"
"I am older than him," Thorin cringed.
"i don't care!" Jóhild clapped her hands.
"you seem very decided upon our fate," Thorin smiled.
"You are very big and scary, but I like your eyes! You have pretty eyes and mom says the eyes are the window to the soul. I don't know what it means but it must be something nice, right?" She said trying to sound serious.
Thorin pressed his lips and nodded, "what your mom says is very nice indeed" he turned and saw the mother looking at them with tears in her eyes.
"So we are going to marry?" Jóhild moved her bottom around playfully.
Thorin took her small hand in his and gave it a tender kiss, "If I am still alive when you become a grown woman and you are not in love with anyone else, I promise that we shall marry."
Jóhild looked confused "I don't know if what you said is a yes or a no, mister…uhm I mean King!"
Thorin smiled and caressed her hand, "it's a yes, but only when you become at least thrice your mom's age, alright?"
Her mother laughed heartily at his clever answer, "thank you for playing along with all this Uzbad," she said and bowed to the ground again.
"Yeah! Thank you!" Jóhild cried and embraced him so suddenly that he momentarily sobered up. Then he allowed himself to be drawn inside her happiness and he embraced her gently back.
"My pleasure believe me," he said as Jóhild pulled back and then began hopscotching around her mom and signing a children's song not knowing that she had done what many adult female dwarves would have killed to have an opportunity to do in her stead.
"Can we go eat now mom?" She grabbed her mom's hand and began pulling.
"Sure, excuse me Uzbad?" She asked respectfully.
"Want this back?" He took off the flower crown.
Her mom shook her head, "no, it's yours. Keep it to remember her audacity when she grows older."
He smiled "Goodbye Jóhild."
"Bye bye!" She waved with all the innocence of her youth and ran in front of her mom with her arms wide open.
The mother bowed again and ran after the child.
Thorin turned at a mesmerised Gandalf and extended his hand for the pipe-weed, "don't look so flabbergasted."
"You've got your first marriage proposal in a line of many dare I assume…" Gandalf raised both brows.
Thorin huffed and inhaled deeply closing his eyes, "that's the only kind of marriage proposal I would ever say yes to…"
"Easier to say no than yes?" Gandalf eyes thinned thoughtfully.
"Undoubtedly."
"You might find it difficult to say no in the future. Life might find a good plaything out of your stubbornness in some manner, which I am not yet ready to understand, and turn the tables on you violently," Gandalf said mystically.
Thorin humphed, "Old Toby got to you?"
Gandalf smirked, "Indeed it has….great batch this one I must admit."
Thorin nodded appreciatively.
Gandalf pursed his lips, "I don't know how we shifted from threatening each other, to sharing mild drugs with you are wearing a flower crown."
"Beats me, but you are still banned from this city," Thorin pointed at him.
Gandalf chuckled, "let's finish this weed, then maybe we can share some mead while you tell me how you feel and about your dreams and we can renegotiate my ban after all that. Deal?"
Thorin's lips curled sideways and he gave back the pipe, "deal," he agreed grumpily.
-.-
"Come on, I cannot invite you more officially than this…" Bofur cringed as she emptied the fresh vegetables several families had brought over since the trades with Dale had started officially.
"How can I know if the King will need me?" She asked.
"Ask him for a leave," he offered.
"Again?"
"Why not?" Bofur bit his lower lip and approached, "he is going to be there too. It's a surprise for him at the end of the day".
Eilin felt her shoulders slouching. She hadn't had enough time to get a grip on herself after the unexpected interaction she had with the King in his bedroom and Bofur followed her from the grand hall down to the kitchens asking her insistently to escort him on that gathering they were arranging for Thorin.
"Exactly! This is for him and I am his maiden, therefore I must follow him." She said feeling rather exasperated.
"He won't need you to stand behind him for the whole duration. Thorin is used to living like a commoner. He is not used to having someone tending to his every need twenty four seven. I will dare assume that would piss him off."
Eilin felt her lips twitching, "it does…"
Bofur pointed at her with a smile, "see? Therefore you can accompany me. What else can I do but bring flowers…tell me yes!"
Eilin felt her cheeks blushing and she inhaled sharply, "No, please no flowers!"
Bofur smiled, "fine, I won't bring you in a tight spot, if you agree to come with me tonight"
Eilin signed and closed her eyes, "if I say yes, will you stop speaking so loud?"
Bofur clapped his hands, "yes…" he whispered.
Eilin looked at him partly amused, "I will come if he doesn't need me for anything…"
Bofur rolled his eyes pleased, "that's all I wanted to hear. Shall I pick you up at seven?"
She frowned, "it will be that late?"
"yes"
"Will there be many people?" She asked slightly apprehensive.
Bofur laughed heartily, "Balin is gathering the lords of the army and the recently reinstated grey wizard is thinking of using some of his more sombre fireworks to honour the memory of Kili. Everyone is going to be there…."
"So the King has no idea yet?…" she mused.
"His sister has taken over to bringing him to us. Have you ever attended a dwarven gathering?"
She shook her head feeling slightly embarrassed.
Bofur touched her shoulder gently, "then you are going to love it. There will be songs for the fallen, warmth and companionship and lots and lots of good food. I even set up my fishing nets at the river. They are tied on a boat close to the clearing where the gathering is going to take place. I promise to make you my best fish recipe. Do you know how to pull up nets?"
She bit her lower lip and not wanting to admit complete uselessness she nodded half heartedly, "of course I do."
"Then we make a deal. You will pick them up for me and I will cook you the best fish that will be caught there without telling Bombur anything, or else he is going to eat it", he smiled.
Eilin nodded, "That sounds lovely."
"Perfect!" Bofur rubbed his palms together and pranced to the door, "see you later then!"
She nodded and when the door closed behind she allowed herself to lean her elbows on the fountain and let the tepid water run over her forearms. Without too much thought she lowered her head and put her face under it, wanting in some manner to tear away all these rude thoughts that kept assaulting her mind non stop. Her long hair got trapped under the water and got drawn into the fountain filling it with their reddish colour, their sheer amount covering over all the vegetables that she had forgotten there. So she remained under the water for a while, breathing through her mouth and trying to understand how she would be able to manage the night that was coming up. With Bofur chasing after her company and her hiding from the man whose company she would never dare ask for.
She stayed there long after her heart stopped palpitating and her temperature dropped significantly, but even then she found it difficult to work for the rest of the day. Her attendance to the princess took most of her time, but did little to settle her down. Only the visit of Tauriel at the kitchens late afternoon was able to draw her mind away from her intrusive and totally imprudent thoughts towards the King.
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