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A touch of darkness, dwindles the flame
He led their horses through the frozen forest in a spirited trot and they remained silently embraced with her becoming more and more fearful of what was to come when they arrived and him becoming more and more silently thoughtful. She didn't want to go back and pretend that nothing had happened between them in front of everyone, but she also knew that they couldn't stay away forever. When finally they turned upon the highway that led straight to Erebor she felt their horse slowing down and was forced to open up her eyes.
That is when her breath caught and her fingers dug into his forearm shields nervously. Hundreds if not thousands of dwarven families on foot and on carriages. Men, women and children of all ages were progressing towards the half build gates of Erebor at the left side of the road, while the right was occupied by a long line of soldiers that were marching with their banners held up high and their torches blazing in the dead of night. They were singing military tunes, trying to encourage the refugees that walked next to them, following the River Running to their final destination.
"What is all this?" She muttered feeling overwhelmed and searched for his hand.
Their fingers stippled and he squeezed her gently, "The ones on the right are divisions from Vigdis Folk and Var's folk judging from their banners. They must be at least a thousand", his voice was calm.
"What about the families?" She turned to the other side.
"We ask, it's the only way to find out". He put the horse at a trot until they reached the end of the line and then he spoke, "Where are you coming from?"
A middle aged dwarf with a long grey beard and clever eyes turned. He leaned on his staff and smiled "We are Thulin's Folk, coming down from the North. Several hidden small cities between Gundabad and Ered Mithrin got hurriedly evacuated when we got word that the Mountain King returned. I think though that further up the line you will find several families of Sindri's Folk from the central ranges of Middle Earth. They are coming from Eregion up to the Ettenmoors. Also Úri's Folk are coming up behind us that reside in the small mountain ranges between Gondor and Orodruin in North Ithilien. The first ones that joined our progression say that darkness is spreading south of Erebor behind Ered Lithui".
"The Ash Mountains…" Thorin whispered and his brow creased.
"Aye, there are too many orcs taking shelter behind them", the man nodded.
"Thank you," Thorin said.
"My Lord", the man bowed.
"Maybe I should alight. They mustn't see us in this manner", she turned her head and whispered above her shoulder.
His thumb caressed the back of her hand, "Not you my beauty", he gave her the reigns and got off his horse.
She stopped it and looked at him in disbelief, "what you are doing is unheard off", she leaned and whispered.
His hand cupped her knee and stroked it gently, "No woman walks next to me while I ride. Now lead it to the entrance and I will join you soon".
She shook her head abhorred and cupped his hand, "No".
"Listen to me and don't over react. Heed my request and lead the horse to the entrance. Standing here talking to each other like this raises even more questions", he said carefully.
She looked up thoughtfully for a couple of moments, "wait, I've got an idea". She alighted and gave him the reigns, "hold them for me".
His brow raised in silent scrutiny as she walked briskly to a rather threadbare looking old woman that was barely able to walk with the help of her stick. She leaned over and stopped her. Then she pointed back at him. His heart smiled at her selfless act and he leaned his elbow on the horse's shoulder patiently. The old woman walked back with the help of Eilin.
"My Lord, this is Ulla. She will appreciate any help we can give her, as she is very tired from travelling long on foot", Eilin said with sweet smile, holding the woman's hand gently.
Ulla bowed slightly and her eyes filled with tears, "This is not a mere lord, he is the Mountain King", she said calmly and Eilin smiled brightly.
"Come give me your hand," Thorin shook his head at Eilin and helped the old woman up.
Her rough aged hand cupped his. She drew it to her lips and kissed it emotionally, "I never thought I'd live to see the Longbeards ruling Erebor again. I am coming from the Brown lands, in north Ithilien. Things are not good there Sir", her voice dropped.
"I've heard rumours", he said quietly.
"Orcs are roaming the beautiful green forests destroying everything in their path. Whenever our people drove them away they ran behind Oronduin, climbing those steep rocks like spiders. There are also several small cities in the ranges of South Ithilien that are getting ready to evacuate my King", she said.
"We'll be ready to take them in, now hold onto the breastplate", he said and looked at Eilin that took the reigns and led the horse.
"These people have suffered greatly".
"My people have suffered the same fate Eilin. I've seen it all before", he mused and his brows darkened as he came up next to her, "It wasn't much different when we evacuated Erebor to get away from Smaug. Lines upon lines of families, people of every age, holding the few belongings they have managed to take at the last moment, like treasure. Roaming the wilderness for weeks, months...years. Their homes were taken forcibly away from them, their lives destroyed. It's the same thing all over again. It never stops".
"You've been through hell...", she gave him a forlorn look.
He smiled, "Haven't we all?"
She nodded, "I've never had to evacuate..."
"Didn't you abandon your home to roam the Dunlands for months alone?"
"Yes"
"Then you've been through it. You left for a better life, these people did too. The only difference is that Durin's folk didn't leave to find their paradise. They lived in one and it was violently taken away from them", he winced.
"That's so awful..." she whispered.
"It is, but now there is hope, isn't there?" his smile was nostalgic.
She wanted to caress his cheek, but she had to settle for the most endearing smile she could produce, "with you here, yes".
He lowered his eyes, but his smile was dazzling. That is when the fast galloping of a magnificent war ram made them both look up. "Captain Vón at your service Sir!" the man bowed his head proudly. "I got word that the Mountain King was behind us on foot. May I offer my animal to you?"
"Are you a Stonefoot or a Blacklock?" Thorin smiled.
"Proud Stonefoot my liege and here to serve you! The Lords of our families are already in Erebor awaiting for you!" The man said and alighted.
"How many strong are in this division?" Thorin looked at the long line.
"One thousand, two hundred my King. They await your inspection!" He presented the reigns to Thorin.
He turned to Eilin, "Can you handle the grandma and the boar?" He said in a low tone.
"Sure, go", she waved him away.
"Maybe we can offer the Lady a ram also", the man looked up briefly from his kneeled position.
Eilin's mouth dropped open at the way she was being addressed, "No, no, no, I am fine Sir, I assure you", she hurried.
"Very well, my Lady", The man bowed his head again.
She looked flabbergasted at Thorin who shook his head gently letting her know that she should play along and his words endorsed that even further, "Offer this lady an escort back to the gates", he ordered nobly. She didn't know which stone to lift and hide herself under. Then he pulled himself up on the ram and tilted his head respectfully towards her, before riding away quickly and leaving her behind completely stunned.
-.-
When he reached the half build gates he saw everyone there. He had been expecting Erebor to be dark and settled for the night as he was returning with Eilin and that was mainly the reason he had delayed their arrival. Never had he been expecting to find envoys from the Blacklocks and the Stonefoots, alongside a huge line of refugees that were probably led there by Fili. Thorin's eyes fell on him as he was standing in front of the gates tall and proud next to his uncle Dain.
"Good evening my huge bastard!" Dain raised his hands and came out to greet him.
Thorin alighted and found himself locked into Dain's strong hold, "That can be interpreted in many ways".
"You are all of them", Dain laughed and jerked him hard.
"Glad you have returned unharmed", he reciprocated and then turned at Fili that took his turn to an equally honest and strong embrace, "Are you alright my son?" He whispered unable to hide his emotions and drew Fili's forehead upon his.
"Uncle I am well! We've found so many people making it for Erebor, just look at them", he said and pointed behind.
"I've talked to them. Orc problems from the Ash Mountains?" he looked at both Fili and Dain.
Dain nodded and crossed his arms, "Far bigger populations down there than Gundabad, Forodwaith and Ered Mithrin combined. They are trying to take hold of both the North and the South".
"I know", Thorin's face turned darkly grim, as he saw the words of Gandalf already coming true.
Balin walked decisively up to them, with the clear intention of interrupting them, "Where in the name of Vala Aule have you been! The envoys are inside waiting for you! They have arrived with an army of thousands to reinforce the city!"
Thorin frowned, "Do you think I am blind? I just inspected the divisions".
"Where have you been?!" Balin crossed his arms.
Thorin pressed his lips, "At the training grounds".
Balin turned to his brother, "You told me you didn't see him!"
Thorin's gaze fell on Dwalin imperative and an intense wave of apprehension gripped his stomach.
Dwalin offered him a vacant look before turning to his brother, "He wasn't there, when I went".
Thorin's jawline tightened and he kept his meaningful stare on his friend, who averted his eyes.
"Very well, forget it. We need to talk, come", Balin took him by the arm and almost dragged him inside.
"Wait a minute," Thorin felt ultimately peeved by the way Balin was trying to handle him.
"No, come, I've been waiting a long time to talk to you, before you see them!" Balin insisted, but Thorin pulled his arm free and Balin almost crashed on him.
"What's gotten into you?"
"The first delegation…", Balin's voice flattered.
"They are here, yes I know. Stop pulling me around!", Thorin frowned.
Balin sighed deeply and closed his eyes, "No it's not that son. Between them is someone whose presence will not please you. I am just trying to anticipate things...for I know they are not going to be pretty".
"What are you talking about?" he cringed totally confused.
Balin inhaled deeply and got ready to speak when Dwalin bypassed him and came face to face with Thorin instead. "I'll tell you, because Balin is taking it the long way round. One of the emissaries will make your heart sink, be prepared. That is what I came over to tell you at the training grounds, but I unfortunately didn't find you", he let that sentence trail off into the air with a knowing gaze.
That was the first moment that Thorin's self-assurance broke to show a small thread of worry, "Is that emissary a Blacklock or a Stonefoot?"
"Blacklock", Dwalin flicked his eyebrows and Thorin's breath hitched slightly, but he didn't have the time to consider anything more as Dwalin's hand tightened around his bicep and he nodded behind Thorin. He turned to see a pristine looking group of people that were coming over to them with bright smiles on their faces. They were escorted by his sister and the two daughters of Fain.
He prepared himself for the worst, but then his eyes fell on Bjarki, one of his older brother-in-arms and one of his best commanders in the Blue Mountains and his countenance softened. His friend advanced in front of everyone else with open arms and Thorin reciprocated eagerly. They grabbed each other's forearms tightly, "How long has it been?" Bjarki asked and his eyes overflowed with tears.
"Too long brother, welcome", Thorin drew him in an embrace that he only reserved for those he loved dearly.
Bjarki tightened his strong arms around him, "Heard you died".
Thorin smiled, "I am probably still dead...".
Bjarki laughed and pulled back. He checked on him without removing his tight grip on Thorin's forearms, "Dead or not you still look good! As handsome and regal as I remember!".
Oda giggled at the side of Dis, "Don't feed his vanity! He's prone to that malfunction. Keep him grounded!"
Thorin looked up and smiled brightly at her, "Alright Oda, I'll feed yours instead. You look breathtaking"
She laughed, disentangled herself from Dis's elbow and ran up to him. She embraced both Thorin and her husband. Then she planted an honest kiss on his cheek, "All joking aside, are you alright? Dis told us that your wound was so serious, they actually brought you back from the dead".
"I am slowly getting there. It was a difficult call", he smirked at her kindly.
"You really did it this time, didn't you? You actually did it!" Bjarki looked around them at the chaotically tall, engraved cavern of the entrance with the golden bell hanging threatening above them, "You got back Erebor!"
Thorin pressed his lips and looked back at his gathered comrades, "Not without substantial help", then he turned at Dain who was smiling a little ways off, "from our people".
Bjarki turned at Dain, "Oh, you mean that old troll-smelling-monkey? His beard has become bigger than him".
Dain approached and his hand clapped Bjarki's shoulder so hard he almost kneeled, "I keep it like that on purpose, you stout-rat-killer, to scare away those elvish sissies..." and then his laughter thundered and many laughed with him.
"And didn't he scare them away indeed? You should have seen how he destroyed every single arrow they send off to his division! It was majestic!" Kili said and twisted the end of his moustache braid, proudly. "Not to mention that his looks and words broke their courage long before arrows flew into the air".
Thorin smiled, truly enjoying this camaraderie between his comrades. He had almost forgotten Balin's dark words about the Blacklock emissary, as he was drawn into the happy back and forth of these men.
"You, friends, have managed the impossible and made all the families proud!" Bjarki said and squeezed the forearms of both Thorin and Dain.
"Much as I hate to admit, it was a joined effort between us, elves and men...", Dain cringed under his thick ginger beard.
"Better united, than divided, now...", he looked back at Thorin proudly, "tell me, where is the Arkenstone? My heart aches to see you sitting under it".
The grounding of the pleasant energy was so palpable that everyone felt it.
"As for that..." Balin coughed and tried to take on his most serious expression, but Thorin forestalled him.
"It is in the possession of the elvish sissies, brother", he said with honesty.
Bjarki frowned, "Why the hell did you allow them to have it?"
"That was not Thorin. His burglar did that. Kind off, double crossed him", Dain buried his thick thumbs on his wide belt and shook his head.
"Burglar?" Bjarki looked at Thorin confused.
"Oh, it's a long story, which will be told over good ale. As for the Arkenstone, trust me enough to know that it will be back above the throne very soon", Thorin smiled reassuringly.
Bjarki smiled and all his envoy did likewise, "Not a doubt that you will deliver, you tall bastard! You got Erebor back! Getting back Arkenstone will be a game for you!"
Thorin smiled "I am so glad you are here, for I have missed you dearly".
"Me too…I haven't seen you ever since you moved from the Blue Mountains", Dwalin chuckled and they exchanged a series of hard slaps on the shoulders that send them a couple of steps back. At least a head sorter from Dwalin and even more from Thorin, Bjarki was very heavily build, he had long blonde hair and a very well groomed beard that was devoid of any braids, but was divided into three parts with thick golden beads of great craftsmanship. His eyes were a gentle grey that didn't befit his intimidating countenance, but betrayed his golden heart.
When his games with Dwalin were over he presented his son, "This is Bjarngrímur my son. Do you remember him?"
Thorin kept one hand locked on Bjarki's forearm, "He was just a toddler when you decided to take your family away to the far east".
"Look at him now!" Bjarki said proudly and Oda smiled and locked elbows with Dis again.
Thorin gave him a scrutinising look that made the boy avert his eyes and then a lopsided smile, "You carry the proud bearing of the Stonefoots my boy. Welcome".
Everyone from the envoy seemed very pleased and several bowed to the compliment of the Mountain King.
The boy fell on one knee, "It's an honour to pledge my axe to you Sir. I am leading my father's army! Five hundred strong!"
Thorin smirked at Bjarki who raised his brow proudly "Impressive, in such sort notice".
"We couldn't gather more than a skeleton army, but the Blacklocks decided to join in with seven hundred more", Bjarki said and looked at the silent Blacklock delegation.
Bjarki's words reminded Thorin of Balin's warning and he turned to see the Blacklock delegation. His eyes passed with a critical frown through each and everyone, trying to understand, but saw nothing...at first. That didn't last long though, as the Lords and Ladies that bowed for him, were pushed aside to reveal an unforgettable face that send cold spears through his heart. Instantly he knew why Balin had seemed so tense and what the mystical words of Dwalin meant exactly. He felt his heart stopping for a mere second before exploding into an impossible pace that made him dizzy.
Bjarki's hand steadied him, "Hey, are you alright?"
Dwalin gave him a worried look and came to his flanks protectively. As for Balin he turned around to hide his tears, and pushed away a bewildered Fili.
"Servin?" He whispered.
The imposing dwarf with the wild silver hair and beard passed between his comrades proudly and came up to him, "Thorin", he said and bowed his head respectfully.
Siv's older brother was standing right there, in front of him, after so long. Like a spectre that had dug it's way from the past, to come haunt him in real life and not in his dreams anymore. His face had grown older and it was filled with deep lines of worry and grief, but the resemblance to his sister was as uncanny as it had been during their youth. He looked down at him, unable to believe his eyes, "You, here? How?" He frowned.
Servin lowered his head, "I am leading the Blacklock army. We are here to offer our pledge to you".
Thorin tried to inhale, but it was impossible as his chest was tight. Servin never knew about his affair with Siv, but he knew that Thorin was a good friend. He knew how much Siv's death had affected the prince. Was that enough to make him suspect that something was running deeper? As far as Thorin was aware, neither Siv nor Cael ever spoke to her brothers. Siv was certain that her brothers would ask for reprimanding if things got out and she didn't want to cause an uproar. She still trusted that Thorin would deliver his promises in the end...then death came. As for him….he never wanted to smudge the honour of Siv and reveal what had taken place between them, behind closed doors. Reprimanding or revenge from her brothers was the last thing he feared, but he wanted to protect her spirit.
"What about Suthar and Svín?" He asked and felt his hands growing cold.
"My brothers both died in battle and my mother died soon after from a broken heart. I am the only one remaining of my family", Servin bowed his head solemnly.
"My deepest condolences", Thorin's voice came out with difficulty.
"I know how much you cared for my sister. I know it was you that found her and brought her to burial and I always wanted..." Servin paused and his eyes met Thorin's bravely, "I always wanted to talk to you after her death".
He felt his eyes tearing up effortlessly and he didn't try to kill the feeling, "I cannot find words good enough…", he didn't know how to continue. What could he tell this man? That he couldn't find words good enough to explain how much her death had torn him to pieces or that he was the one that caused it, even unwillingly? Or maybe that he had debauched his sister and not restored her honour as he should have. How could he ever be brave enough to admit all these things to this man?
"There is no need for words...for now Thorin. Just accept the pledge of the Blacklocks to the King's gem", Servin said respectfully.
Thorin's lips turned down and his heart emptied in a pool of dark and cold water, "Of course", he whispered knowing that this was far from over between them. There was a thin layer of unanswered questions, that Servin's eyes were already throwing at him silently...and he knew...he knew this has been done on purpose. Servin appearing here, on the height of his glory, to remind him of the past, was no chance meeting. He knew as much as Balin and Dwalin knew...and that is where this darkness ended. For it was only shared between these four men. No one else had picked up that anything was even vaguely wrong in that conversation. Well, maybe only another one suspected that something was askew.
"Are you alright?" Bjarki frowned.
He turned around and nodded feeling dazed, "Yes, yes of course".
Servin bowed and presented the delegation behind him, "It is an honour to be pledge our family to the crown", he said and they all bowed behind him.
"The honour is mine", Thorin reciprocated regaining some of his composure and loftiness back. If this was going to be a one-on-one from his nightmarish past, he was going to face it with courage.
"You've gone extremely pale", Oda noticed.
"He needs to rest", Dis engaged his elbow gently, "What happened?" she whispered at him as Servin turned and joined his envoy.
"A little tired gerbil", he smiled reassuringly at her.
Then he turned at both delegations, "My lords and ladies these ancient halls are honoured by your presence. Please allow my people to show you to your rooms and we shall share lunch and company tomorrow. A good chance to catch up with old friends and a good opportunity to get to know new ones", he said with a majestic tilt of his head.
They all smiled and bowed respectfully, but Thorin's eyes lingered a few moments more on Servin who reciprocated.
"Listen lunch tomorrow and all is great for all of them, but not for me! I need to catch up with you and these bastards here, tonight" Bjarki slapped Dwalin's and Dain's shoulders, with a wide smile.
"I think a drink will do all of us a world of good..." Dwalin hissed behind his teeth and gave Thorin a guarded look.
Dis touched his forearm gently and he leaned down to her. She whispered at his ear with great concern, "Do you know how dreadfully pale you look right now? It's like you've seen a ghost. Maybe Oin should check on you…".
"I am fine. Take care of our guests and let me take care of these bastards", he nodded above his shoulder, where Dain, Dwalin, Bjarki and Fili had already engaged in a fiercely cordial conversation. Only Balin was waiting to be noticed patiently with his arms crossed.
"Are you sure?" She frowned.
He pressed her hand reassuringly, "Absolutely".
She offered him a hesitant smile and then she engaged Oda's elbow, "Will you help me with lunch tomorrow?"
Oda laughed, "I wouldn't miss that for the world!"
She looked around her confused, "I will need the help of Eilin. Where the hell is she anyway?"
Thorin looked up quickly at that and Dwalin offered him a warning gaze before returning half of his attention to the dirty jokes of his comrades.
It was Balin's voice that came to his undoing, "Isn't that she?"
Thorin looked as Eilin stopped by the gates, holding his horse by the bridle and then helped the old woman down.
"Pray tell me laddie, why the hell is Eilin leading your horse and why is there a pony bearing a dead boar on it….and why the hell does she have a warrior braid?" Balin frowned confused and looked up at Thorin whose countenance closed up tight.
"What do you want answered first, Balin?" he crossed his arms clearly annoyed.
"Anything would do…" his advisor raised his brow.
Dis though seemed much less affected by the sudden appearance of her maiden leading her brother's horse. She raised her arm and went to her quickly, "Eilin, I need you!" She said and the girl immediately turned. Thorin observed them as they talked rather animated for several seconds before Eilin nodded in accordance. Then she abandoned Thorin's horse and followed Dis back to them.
"Now you will take care of the meat and I along with Valdis, Karunn and Oda will decide how to set up the tables. For now you will help me lead the emissaries to their respective rooms", he heard Dis telling Eilin with authority.
Their eyes crossed for a few blessed moments and he felt his heart melting. Servin's sudden appearance that managed to freeze his soul, slowly dissipated under the warmth of her soft green eyes. His heart took it upon herself to hand-draw a small hairpin at the side of his mouth without him even realising, which she reciprocated quickly before drawing her eyes respectfully away from him. Then Balin's voice drew his attention back to the inevitable.
"Well?"
"Well what?" He rubbed his temples returning from vaguely entranced to deeply annoyed within fractions of a second.
"Your horse, her braid…the boar?" Balin flayed his arms around.
"May I remind you, that I am not required to answer any of your questions?"
Balin inhaled deeply and raised his brow, "To me you are not...".
"To anyone..."
"These delegations are here to pledge their arms to the Mountain King, and you my boy have a lot of people to answer to", Balin's eyes thinned.
"I will answer, if and when I see it fit. Now allow me to see my friends", he said haughtily.
Balin sighed deeply, "Very well".
Thorin turned at Dwalin, "you think Thror's old study will be up for the task?"
Dwalin's lips uplifted in slow understanding, "If Smaug hasn't brought it down, I think it will be perfect".
Thorin nodded to the direction they were to take and Dwalin took the lead. He gave one last wistful look above his shoulder where the slim silhouette of Eilin was following his sister and her ladies of honour and then he followed his friends, without noticing that her presence there had managed to diminish Servin's haunting face with unexpected ease into a faded image that just waited for him in the shadows.
As for Eilin, to say that she felt absolutely blissful as she led the guests to their rooms would have been a serious understatement. To say that she was dreamily musing over them as they entered and checked on their new abodes like a bloody idiot, would be rather accurate. She had a permanent smile of contentment printed on her lips and a stomach that still felt as if there was a tight coil twisted around its pit, eating her up, to find a way to unwind it. His furious and firm kisses wreathed that delicious tension in her body and she longed for him to kiss her again….and why not, let him find a way to unwind that damned coil.
Rhiannon her best friend at the tavern, told her stories about men that had wounded up similar coils in the bottom of her stomach too. If Rhiannon was here now, she'd tell Eilin, "you are obviously aroused you bloody fool, by what he has done to you! Now go after him to finish it!" .
Eilin felt the blood mounting on her cheeks and bit her lower lip feeling deeply embarrassed. She knew very well that her body had reacted naturally at Thorin's teases, but she didn't have any experience with men apart from her rape. For Rhiannon it was much easier to pursue her pleasure. She was a woman paid for her body, even though that didn't equal pleasure. It was a job as Rhiannon coldly told her many times over. That someone had to do the dirty deed, so that all these frustrated men didn't take out their violence on innocent women...Eilin's face fell...like they had done to her. So for Rhiannon, there was no pleasure involved...usually...but...she insisted that once in a blue moon, a client, did manage to wreathe the same tension in her body and when she let herself go with the flow, it felt like heaven. Back, during those bleak days, Eilin's mind was unable to grasp Rhiannon's words...but now...
...Now when she kissed him, the sensations became a conflagration that consumed her and she didn't know were one thing ended and others began. The small spark her silly little kisses ignited was a mere nothing to the fire that began burning her from the inside out when he took over. He obviously knew how to use his body to speak to hers and she couldn't help but wonder where he had learned all these tricks. His hands caressed places she thought were quite innocent but nevertheless created a blazing heat at her core that was still eating her up to this moment. She remembered with a trembling gasp how his thigh send the first waves of molten lava trickling down inside, when it got buried between her legs. Only now after being kissed so thoroughly was she able to grasp an idea of what Rhiannon had been talking about years before and it felt amazing and terrifying in it's capacity to consume her every single logical thread.
The nasty reminder of the pain and ridicule she had felt during her only intimate encounter with men, tried to invade her dreamy mind and she frowned at it annoyed. Why did her mind want to taint this otherworldly experience of bliss with something so nasty and dark once again? Why couldn't she let go just for once? She didn't want to remember how these subhumans pushed her against that cold wall and crashed her cheek on the sharp stones. She didn't want to revisit her body's desperate tries to keep out the intruders or how painful and bloody that intrusion had been. She had felt nothing beautiful then….just excruciating friction and blood trickling down her thighs as her body was quaking from her sobbing pleads to be left alone. Which happened….in the end she was left alone, heavily bleeding on the floor of the common room, with all her clothes torn and her body still shaking heavily from the shock. Her hands and feet were cold and her heart had fled her terrified body into other worlds, that felt safer.
For as long she sat helpless in her pooling blood, she imagined that she was in the house of her real mother and father. That they were married and they lived in a small valley that was full of green grass sprinkled here and there with rose bushes. That she was swinging from a tree and that the spring breeze was blowing away her long red hair from her carefree face. Their faces when they appeared at the door of the cottage though were dark as they had always been in her dreams. Dark and featureless. Only their outlines were clear, but as always that was a mere dream just to help her escape reality.
Rhiannon had found her and helped her clean up and heal. She tried to offer her comfort and assured her that in their profession they had been forced many times, that she would eventually forget, but she didn't. Instead she kept away from any man that approached her even in a friendly manner and tried to stop herself from fainting every time she felt in danger, real or imaginary…..all that until now. When in the blink of an eye not only did she want this man to approach her, but to also touch her again the way he did and kiss her again…and maybe never stop kissing her.
Colour mounted her cheeks once again and she caressed her long neck, feeling like her mind was throwing her from cold to warm and from bliss to terror just to mess with her. The voice of lady Valdis was what brought her back to reality. "I think we should go and rest my Lady, it's been a long day".
"Yes my dear, take your sister and go. As for you Eilin," Dis looked at her thoughtfully.
"My Lady at your orders", she said but her voice was rough and she coughed in order to clear it.
"Bring me and Oda dinner in my rooms and then check on my brother. If everything is alright rest well. I will need you up first thing in the morrow to clean the meat and the vegetables. Cooking is on you, choose whatever pleases you", Dis smiled tiredly.
"Of course my Lady". Eilin bowed and left them with a slow thoughtful walk that was soon riddled with the dreamy memories of her last moments in the forest with Thorin-again. She went down at the kitchens always overtaken by the same slow and musing pace, with the smile never leaving her lips. She chose a good ale bottle from the counters, that were now overflowing with food and beverages and made her way back to her mistress. When she entered, Dis and her friend were down to their undergarments cross-legged in front of the fire talking cordially. Eilin served them a cup each and placed the wine next to them. Dis thanked and dismissed her, but before closing their door Eilin took a yearning look, knowing that she would never share such a beautiful friendship with another woman apart from Rhiannon, whom she had abandoned at the tavern when she run away without knowing what her future had in store for her.
Life had thrown into her face all the improbabilities of Middle Earth combined. She went from being a servant in a tavern who slept amongst whores, to the first maiden of the Longbeards and was now the main point of interest of the legendary Thorin Oakenshield. To be fair though, he was more than her main point of interest also. He was occupying her mind constantly making a stuttering fool out of it. She wondered vaguely what Rhiannon would have said, if she knew what had happened to Eilin after she ran away.
"She wouldn't believe me", she muttered as she searched to find King Thror's study, which was hiding behind a very unsuspecting door at the right corridor of the throne room. As she passed from the throne she mused truly impressed at the broken column that connected with the mountain itself above and she saw the empty space of the King's gem, the Arkenstone. It seemed abandoned and poorly taken care off, but nothing in this city was properly maintained for centuries. She was sure that once restored to its original glory it would shine brighter than the sun.
Her face fell a little at the image of him wearing his raven crown and standing majestically before it, with his brooding eyes scrutinising his court. That thought scared her and made her stomach drop. A step closer to his throne, was a step away from her wasn't it? Well, bullocks...he was the King now and their story was in it's first pages, right? She was just making too much of everything. She shook her head away from these bleak thoughts and knocked on the door. When she entered, the warm feeling of camaraderie made her heart smile. They were sitting around the hearth, smoking old-Toby. The only one who acknowledged her was Dwalin and she tried not to feel cheated, by reminding herself that the man who kissed her, now needed to act like the King.
Taking courage in that thought she served them and brought over their cups when Dwalin asked her. The moment she offered Thorin one, his fingers grazed the back of her hand slightly when he took it. A small gesture but enough to give her the warm recognition she longed for. Her heart climbed up to her throat happy that he was still there, under the brooding lofty lord that had his solemn attention at one of his interlocutors. She exhaled feeling a ton of weight leaving her shoulders and when she was informed she wouldn't be needed for anything else she made it for her rooms, content to take a bath in the hot springs and sleep till the morrow. She was satisfied and happy beyond words, certain that she would sleep this night like a log.
With such an upbeat mood she took a fresh pack of clothes and locked her door ready to make it to the springs when suddenly she was pushed over to the wall on the other side of the corridor with such ferocity that all her clean clothes fell to the dusty floor. A rather small boot stepped over them making sure to twist them into the ground for good measure and then a small but strong hand wrapped around her throat. She gasped and looked up at Karunn's blazing eyes.
"Well hello there…you little bitch", she spat at her face.
Eilin tried to inhale, but Karunn's fingers didn't allow her the luxury as they tightened around her more, "Don't you dare scream or I will kill you on the spot", she said and presented her with a pair of very pointy looking scissors.
"I won't", Eilin's terrified eyes looked at the weapon.
Karunn smiled at her smugly, "I knew I'd get you here, getting ready for a bath. As if you knew what a bath was before coming to the house of my father!"
Eilin swallowed not knowing what to say. Fear had numbed down all her extremities. She went from being on top of the world to fearing for her life within seconds.
"I suppose you must be very confused as to what is happening, aren't you?" Karunn lowered her eyes and looked at her neck.
Eilin moaned softly and nodded.
"I am here to set things straight with you once and for all", the scissors caressed the side of her face and Eilin closed her eyes petrified.
"That slow-brained dwarf that's been salivating around you warned me not to order you around, remember?"
Eilin nodded fiercely.
Karunn laughed, "What an idiot…he thought he could control me. I know what a manipulative little trump you are! Don't you think I know you've slept alongside whores in that sleazy tavern you were working? Do you think I am as gullible as all these men that treat you like a lady?"
Eilin shook her head and felt tears running down her eyes, "I was never a whore…" she tried.
"Shut up!" The scissors pressed on her cheek and trapped her breath.
"That dwarf wants to bed you, that's why he is so defensive of you, and I couldn't care less what you and him do behind closed doors. He can fuck the life out of you and I wouldn't mind, but seeing you intermingling with the bright future of my sister….oh, that will not be tolerated!"
A shadow of doubt and confusion rippled through Eilin's brows, "what?"
"You aim much higher than Bofur don't you, you little whore?"
Eilin licked her lips and felt her breath catching.
"You aim for the one that stands above them all…and you think you've got him trapped into your dirty tentacles already, don't you? You know whom I am talking about….the King…" Karunn hissed.
Eilin paled.
Karunn smiled, "you cannot even hide the truth from your slutty hairless face. You were sleeping amongst the shit of my horses and now you are mooching around the King of fucking Erebor! Have you no shame?" Her voice dropped and her hand left Eilin's throat and caught tight hold of her hair, pulling her head back.
Eilin cried and tried to grab those hands, but the scissors pressing on her cheek stopped her once more.
"I saw what happened at the archery lesson….you think you've got him well and good, don't you? You think you can bed him easily, don't you?" Karunn spat and pulled her hair.
Eilin started sobbing, "no, please…"
"Shut up! My sister is the one who is supposed to be getting closer to the King, not you, little filthy whore! You are getting in the middle and I will not allow that. I will not allow you to bed him just in order to transform from a dirty little coal into a processed diamond!" Karunn spat, "I don't care whose sigil you are wearing, I am going to destroy you before you stand in the way of my sister".
Eilin's lips tightened and she felt fear clashing with anger at all those accusations hurled into her face, "Your sister's way, or yours?"
The tightening on her hair and the blaze in Karunn's eyes betrayed the partial truth, "Me or her….it's none of your business. You deserve to return to that sleazy tavern as a whore. If you don't pull away from the King I will make sure everyone learns the truth about you, and above all him. You will be thrown out of here and back into that dump quicker than you can say my name...and don't dare doubt me, for I will deliver!"
Eilin closed her eyes trembling.
"Who do you think you are? A real dwarven lady? Wearing royal sigils and having people calling you -my lady- left and right? Did all this prove too much for your idiotic brain and you think you are someone special just because the King offered you some petty attention?" Karunn hissed.
"If you thought it was so petty why are you threatening my life right now?" Eilin's voice came out wavering.
The hand twisted around her hair and Eilin cried in pain, "Because everyone can make mistakes. Even Kings…" she left that trail in the air for several moments before pulling back so sharply that Eilin jerked back terrified.
"A warrior braid…you even had the audacity to make a warrior's braid. Have you any idea what a brave feat one has to accomplish to make this?" Karunn lifted her braid dismissively, "despicable" she spat and then quickly before Eilin had a chance to react the scissors were on her cutting the braid from the roots.
Eilin grabbed the stump that was left behind and cried in anguish. It felt as if someone tore her heart clean off her chest. She kneeled down a defeated and sobbing mess, "no…" she murmured.
Karunn held her braid pleased and smirked down at her, "your are not worthy of this, you bloody slut".
Eilin cupped her mouth and tried to stop her sobs.
"Keep away from him or I will make sure he learns what a true whore you really are", Karunn's voice fell and her boot gave a strong kick to her knee.
Eilin lowered her face into her hands and wailed, not caring who was listening to her.
Karunn's footsteps were quick and echoed for long into the silent corridors. Only when silence was all around her did Eilin dare to draw her hands away from her face and still she was unable to stop crying. Whenever her tears seemed to dry out her hand reached up to her cut braid and they started again, stronger than before. She didn't want to stand up and pick up her dirty clothes. She had been treated like shit all her life, but this-here was more than just a simple reminder of her low rank or that she was a bastard, or that she had slept among whores.
Tonight, Karunn's cold hearted hands reminded her that no matter how much she tried to convince herself that things were going to change….they were not. Someone was always going to be there to remind her that was born into the gutter and to it she must return. Feeling defeated and bitter, when a few hours earlier she had been on top of the world, she remained there until her tears dried out, but even then she didn't try to stand up. She leaned back to the wall and buried her face to her knees, intending to sleep there, or maybe become a statue until someone could find her and drop her out of Erebor once and for all. Even though the tenderness that Thorin had shown her and the respect everyone else did, outweighed Karunn's humiliation, at that moment she couldn't feel it. She remained there for a long time, dozing in and out of sleep when a pair of gentle hands touched her shoulders.
"What are you doing here?"
Eilin opened up her red eyes and looked at Tauriel. The elf was smiling kindly down at her.
"Are you hurt?" Tauriel asked.
Eilin shook her head.
"You want help to get up?"
Another negation.
Tauriel's hand picked up some hair that had fallen off her cut braid and twisted them thoughtfully around her fingers for a few silent moments. "You know I have some lovely tea leafs in my bag, but I don't enjoy drinking alone", she let the thought linger.
Eilin huffed and shook her head, "I'd rather not, thank you", her throat felt abused.
Tauriel sat down cross legged next to her, "You know, hair can grow back up".
"Dignities cannot", Eilin retorted heavily.
"My father used to say that you must have something special in you to be come a target".
"What's special about me? The fact that I don't know who my father or mother is? That I don't look like a dwarf, an elf or a human, but a weird mixture of the three? That I slept amongst whores all my life in the best of cases or animal shit in the worst? Nothing special about me I assure you", Eilin said defeated.
Tauriel smiled sweetly, "Well, someone has seen the special in you".
Eilin looked up for a scared moment and then her shoulders slouched, "I assure you Bofur is only my friend…."
Tauriel shook her head, "I wasn't talking about him", she said meaningfully.
Eilin looked at her with apprehension.
Tauriel flicked her shoulders, "That scene at the archery training is difficult to forget, but I can try if we share a cup of tea together".
Eilin's petrified eyes never left Tauriel's face, "please don't say anything to anyone…I am exposed enough as it is….I am afraid..." she tittered, her fear spilling alongside her broken words.
"I won't speak, don't worry", Tauriel's smile was kind.
Eilin's eyes flickered and she wiped away her cheeks, "Thank you, it means a lot".
Tauriel's hand clasped hers, "I guess it runs in Kili's bloodline to find beauty outside the norms. I find that so endearing", her eyes filled with tears.
Eilin huffed, "and that will do a world of good to me and him likewise...yeah sure", she felt bitter...too bitter for words.
"You are not willing to see the good in things at this moment, which is excused", Tauriel said quietly.
Eilin wiped away a few stray tears, "I allowed myself to become an easy target once again, that's all".
Tauriel pressed her lips, "You caused jealousy by shining a little too bright. You have people around that truly care for you. Reach out to them. Things are not as dark as you may think".
Eilin felt her lips turning down "You think so?"
Tauriel nodded quietly, "You are a kind and gentle soul that bloomed in very harsh conditions. Do you know how difficult that is? I don't think you comprehend how special you truly are, but I think he does….and I do too".
Eilin looked at her thighs and flicked her shoulders, "You know, on second thought I could use some tea", she said feeling her heart smiling timidly at Tauriel's comforting words.
Tauriel smiled and stood up, "Elves make the best cups of tea. We have our ways around herbs", she offered Eilin her hand.
The girl looked at it thoughtfully for a few moments before grasping it. Tauriel pulled her up with a smile, "Will you keep these?" She showed the few strands of cut hair.
Eilin touched the stub under her earlobe, "no" and then her fingers grazed the rather deep scratch on her cheek. Apparently Karunn's scissors had damaged her more than she had originally felt in the heat of the moment. She would have traded having both cheeks scratched bloody if she could have her warrior braid back though.
"Now smile….you mustn't let the dark side of life make you blind to the bright side of it", Tauriel wised and took her hand.
A/N:
-Just edited to say to StephCalvino and Pint-sized She-Bear, or anyone else that's been going through a rough time...chin up..things will get better eventually. For all of us. XoX
- Also re-read it and I have some mistakes, which I cannot fix now as it's too late and I am working tomorrow. I will after work. Which means on a possible re-read they are going to be eliminated. Thank you for the patience.
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