AN: First minor swearing. Enjoy! This might just be my favorite chapter yet.
I'm out for more than 12 hours, though I feel almost as tired as I was when I fell asleep in the first place. I do my best to fall back into the safety of sleep, knowing that OA is probably waiting for me to wake so we can talk about what happened. I want to be surprised that he would be the one trying to get me to talk, but instead I'm annoyed at myself. A panic attack? Really? First I'm attacked, then my partner has to guard me, and now I can't even get a handle on my mental health? Great. Embarrassment overwhelms me, and I know the heat rushing to my cheeks, turning them bright red, gives me away.
"Morning," he says quietly before I even open my eyes. I roll my eyes (still closed by the way- impressive, right?) and let out a long sigh.
"Morning."
"Mags, look—," he starts, but I interrupt.
"Don't, okay?" I finally open my eyes and stare right into his for only a moment before looking out the window and then down at my hands.
He just waits, patient, as I study the IV in the back of my hand.
I'm almost annoyed that he is still waiting for me to speak, because he is just too damn good to me and I'm not sure I deserve it. Just when I think I can't take the silence anymore, I find that there are words pouring out of my mouth without intention.
"I'm just embarrassed. Embarrassed it happened, embarrassed you saw it. This isn't the first time something has happened to me, but it's the first time it's affecting me like this. I hate that I'm letting this get to me so much." I'm sudden silent and am getting internal whiplash at the starting and stopping of my words.
"The fact that you are embarrassed is completely unnecessary. What happened isn't something you can control, and I know you know that. It happens to everyone, Maggie," he says matter of fact.
I scoff as I finally look at him again. "You?" I ask, resentment in my voice as I'm sure he wasn't grouping himself in with 'everyone.'
His eyebrows just raise slightly with a knowing look, a small smile playing on the corners of his lips. My brows furrow in response. "I don't believe you."
"Well, whether you believe me or not doesn't change that it's happened. And, actually, they were much worse than yours." He's opening up again, and it still feels weird, feels too important to be something I claim I don't believe, but I can't help myself.
"They? More than one?" I can't quite hide the shock in my voice.
He briefly smiles again, but it's gone all too soon. "Yes. So when I say you shouldn't be embarrassed, I mean it. Especially in front of me." He squeezes my hand gently before letting go. I hadn't even realized he had still been holding it, but I immediately miss its warmth and comfort. "And," he continues quietly, "while I'm sure I would have been mortified if anyone had been there to see, in the moment it's all I wanted. Someone to be there, to make things seem less permanent. Don't be embarrassed, Mags."
"I'm sorry. I didn't know," I barely whisper. It's all I can get out, but it's sincere, and he accepts it graciously, excusing my behavior.
"Any chance I can see them again?" I ask, referring to the pictures.
"I should probably say no, but I don't think I wanna tempt you throwing something at me," he laughs referring to my comments from the night before. He's trying to lighten the mood, and it works. I stick my tongue out at him, not sure what else to do. He comes back over like he had last night, but before he hands over the pictures he gets serious again.
"The second you start to feel anything," he begins, "let me know right away, okay?" He's waiting for a response, but I just try to grab the pictures from him, cringing slightly at the pain from the quick movement. "Maggie," he scolds gently, waiting for an answer. I just look at him, one eyebrow raised slightly higher than the other. When he doesn't give in, I sigh. "Fine."
He hands them over clearly questioning his decision. But I look at the remaining pages with a sense of ease. Only once does my breathing quicken and chest tighten. I didn't even realize I gasped loudly. He notices the change immediately and calls my name.
"Maggie?"
"Here," I whisper pointing to one of the pictures, but it's barely audible.
"That's him?" He asks me as he stands from his chair to grab his phone from his pocket.
"How did I miss it?" I ask myself. "I don't understand."
He stops, phone in hand, obviously mid dial. He comes close and looks at the picture. "What?"
"I saw him. That night at the bar. He was there, outside. He ran into me and I dropped my things..." my finger slides down the picture as I am enveloped in the memory of coming out of the bar.
"Ok, Mags, nice job. I'm calling Jubal now," he says as he walks to the hall. I hear him start talking to Jubal, explaining what I told him. His voice is quiet and hearing him still close to the door calms my questions of being in danger. His words become a quiet hum, and I lay back against the bed, trying not to doubt myself too much as I begin to drift off. The meds must be doing their job because I can't stay awake for anything...
BREAK~ (Gorge's POV)
This is just the opportunity I need. I received a phone call from another Zeta probate, Andy, earlier today telling me of a new target- who she was and where she was staying. I have two friends who are also probates and want in desperately. Our lives depend on it, so it doesn't take long to convince them to help. We have been sitting in a chair in corner at the end of the hall to her room waiting for her partner to leave. He walks out of her room and leans against the wall while. He's on the phone, and I know I have to make my move quickly.
I call Andy and tell him to light the fire crackers and get here immediately. I hang up, look at my other partner, Jose, and we wait for the signal. My hand is under my shirt, grazing the barrel of my gun. It won't be long now.
AN: The next chapter is where things will start to get really interesting. Thank you for any and all feedback so far. I hope you are enjoying the story!