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Words long forgotten...
A/N: Thank you Julie-i-am for correcting all my stupidities!
Eilin looked at him, "Hey there, got your tea...", but the moment she saw Dwalin she pulled back "Oh, I am sorry, I'll come back later".
"Come in Eilin, Dwalin was just leaving".
"Was I?" Dwalin frowned.
Thorin lips curled up, "yes".
"Yeah, I need to rest and you are upsetting me too much for one evening", Dwalin rejoined and emptied his cup. Then he picked up his coat and made it to the door. He held it open for her to enter since she was holding a tray that was covered.
"Thank you sir", she looked troubled at both men, concerned that she had arrived at an inappropriate moment.
Dwalin didn't seem to be disturbed about her arrival though. "Goodnight, have a nice time and keep it quiet. I am just down the corridor". The warning was clear as the door closed behind him.
Eilin placed the tray on the table that was in front of the fire and looked up at him, "did I mess up?"
"No".
"Did I come too early?" She came close to him.
"No".
"Did I come too late? Your sister needed some assistance and then I had to make your tea…", she began tittering, wanting to excuse herself for taking so long, but he leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her lips that instantly stopped her.
"I am just glad you came, that's all".
Her palms touched his bare chest, "Why are you undressed? Your skin is cold", she frowned.
"A few moments ago I couldn't take any clothes on me", he said.
She looked down at his scar and her mouth dried out, "you want me to care for it?" Her forefinger touched it at the edges.
He shuddered and pulled her into his embrace, resting his chin on top of her head, "No".
"Does it bother you?" she whispered.
"Not really". After a second he frowned thoughtfully, "not unless I overexert myself".
Her body tensed and he felt it.
"It looks bad doesn't it?" he sounded so uncertain that her heart rushed out to comfort him.
"Well, it was a deadly wound that tore you in half so I don't know what you expected it to look like, but if you feel it ruins your physic you are very much mistaken. Nothing can undo how good you look. A thought that makes me mildly uncomfortable as you become the centre of attention for many women", she looked up to him happily.
He sulked and his warm lips touched her forehead delicately, "your cute awkwardness is able to pull me out of the rabbit's hole each and every time".
"Thorin", she hesitated and pulled back in order to be able to see his eyes, "When I left you two hours ago your eyes were smiling, yet now you are as dispirited as you were at the burial grounds".
A lopsided smile tried to downgrade her worries. "I told you, when we part ways the broodiness returns. It's like a second skin to me".
She sighed and drew half circles on his skin, delighting in the way the hair on his chest tickled her palms. "I am here, so what can I do to help?"
"Just being here is enough", he closed his eyes.
"No, it's not. Will maybe something like this help more?" She came forth and touched his skin with her mouth. Delaying the warm kiss on his chest, she felt the hard beating of his heart under her lips.
His stomach twisted, "It might…"
Her palms tracked down his ribcage."How about this?" Her nails replaced her palms and she felt his skin prickling instantly in response.
He cleared his throat, "That will help even more", he agreed with an eagerness that made her grin. His fingers decided that they had to reciprocate her touch and came around her neck to undo the clips that held her long mantle in place. When he inched it off her shoulders to reveal a wispy nightgown hiding underneath, his breath caught. The air that got lifted as the mantle fell around her ankles caressed her naked body and she shivered. She stepped off her boots and looked up to him.
His wide palms landed on her shoulders and squeezed. "What the hell are you wearing?" His eyes ignited with a fire she recognised well from all their previous encounters.
"Just my nightgown", she flicked a shoulder and felt embarrassed under his intense scrutiny.
"Under the nightgown?" His eyes bore on hers demanding, after giving her a rude once-over.
"Nothing…" she whispered and felt her big toes turning timidly towards each other.
"Heaven help me", he mumbled and reached out to get her, but she slithered out of his grasp quickly.
"No! Not yet!" She raised her finger at him sternly.
"Why?"
"I wanna give you something I made for you", she tiptoed to the table, where she had put the tray.
His shoulders slouched in disappointment, "I don't want that bloody cup of tea now…". He sounded so much like a pissed off dwarfling and so little like the majestic Mountain King that her heart beamed at these spontaneous reactions that were reserved only for her eyes.
"Don't care what you want. Now close your eyes", she raised her brow and waited.
He sighed, calling on every thread of patience, "There. Happy now?"
She smiled brightly and uncovered the tray, "yes, now remain still". She picked up the flower crown she had been making for him all afternoon with the flowers she picked up from the burial ground and approached thoughtfully. She attempted to place it on his head, but it was impossible to do it properly, due to his height. "You are too tall for me", she muttered under her breath.
"What?" He made to turn around and open his eyes, but she didn't want him to see anything.
"No, eyes closed! I am going to find a way! Wait!" She searched around. When she saw the armchair she clasped his hand and pulled him back to it.
He staggered clumsily, "Can you tell me what you are doing? I really don't want a drink right now", he grumbled.
"Hush your mouth", she said sweetly and stepped on the armchair. Now finally she could see above his head. She smiled and placed the flower crown gently on him, "There", she whispered and adjusted it to her liking.
He frowned and reached up to touch it. His eyes flew open and looked up at her deeply unnerved, "Did you just give me a flower crown?"
She flicked one shoulder, "Yeah...", she sounded as nervous as she felt.
His face lines smoothed down and a handsome smile made her breath catch, "took you long enough".
"You wanted it?" her eyes grew wide.
"Longed for it", he raised both brows to drive his point home.
"If I'd known I would have made it sooner", her fingers twisted around each other and her stomach filled up with butterflies.
"Looking at you blushing I am not sure how you gathered up the courage to give it to me", he said roguishly.
"Well, I am more courageous than you think", she raised her brow and tried to look offended even though she didn't feel it.
"Oh, I know that. You've proven it multiple times. When did you gather these flowers? At the burial grounds?" his hands rested on her waist, fondling her gently.
"Yes. When you thought I was picking up herbs for your tea", she laughed feeling truly entertained by how well she had duped him off.
"You were very convincing", his lips twisted showing his mild annoyance.
"I fooled you well and good, didn't I?" she bit her fingernail with a coy smile that made him feel warm inside.
"You fooled me so bad that now I itch to retaliate. Young lady I am sorry, but you came in second", he acted all cool.
She sighed defeated. "Yes, that ten year old has a good start on me".
He humphed, "Don't know, maybe you can convince me to renegotiated the deal with her if you try hard enough".
"How?" She pretended to be interested.
"Let me see. How about allowing me to do this to you?" his fingers picked up the airy material of her nightgown and slid it off her shoulders.
"Oh, the sacrifices I am required to make in order for the most handsome King of the land to accept my flower crown", she acted all sad and disappointed, but as the soft material slid down her breasts, they perked up and she unwillingly shuddered.
"If this is a difficult sacrifice, then the next one is going to be terrifying for you", the flat of his palms followed the curve of her thighs up to her hips and they remained there, squeezing appreciatively. He drew her in and his mouth touched the centre of her chest, between her breasts with a gentle kiss that burned her skin.
Her eyelids closed and her breath picked up, "Terrifying, utterly abhorring, but I will have to sustain...for that flower crown". Her fingers sank into his thick mane massaging his head encouragingly.
His nose nuzzled against her full breast and he gave one kiss to it's side. Her stomach squeezed tight and heat began dripping into her core. His mouth moved a little bit closer to her peak and kissed once more gently, "how about another sacrifice that might be close to impossible then?"
"I will endure. Do it", she bit her lower lip in heated anticipation.
His mouth settled next to her peak and remained there immovable, allowing only his breath to harden it. She felt each exhalation from his mouth, clenching her inner muscles. She hissed feeling truly annoyed then, "Thorin, stop teasing me!"
He chuckled and his hands mapped the skin of her hips until they reach the small of her back. He flushed her against him and his tongue came out to taste her nipple. He pulled back to enjoy how it became rigid immediately in response. Then his mouth eased at the side of her neck. "I wonder how this will react", his hand curved around her breast, "when I do this", his mouth opened up to draw in her soft skin.
She missed a heartbeat, "oh!"
"Perfect…" he whispered when he felt her nipple poking his palm rudely.
Just as she was about to curse him blind if he didn't do something about all this, he opened up his mouth and engulfed her other breast with his slick tongue. Her knees became weak and her stomach flipped. He steadied her on him, as he taunted both her breasts with his hand and mouth gently at first and then with increased pressure and demand. His eyes betrayed his delight at seeing her squirm with each tease his mouth offered and with each playful stroke his hand added. Her lips may have dropped open and her chest may have been swelling with her quickening breaths, but she remained silent through all this delicious torment. That lasted until his fingers shadowed over the red curls of her sex, barely touching her skin. Taking their time to feel them before coming up against her closed folds.
That threw her self control out the window. Her hips bucked against his fingers involuntarily and she yanked his head up to her face. "You are killing me", she whispered breathless.
"Patience", he smirked knowingly and his fingers glided through her folds to find her heat.
Her body tightened like a bow and she felt the taste of blood in her tongue as she bit her lip hard. Incoherent curses of Khuzdul left her whimpering mouth as he spread her creamy want on her pulsating centre and fog draped over every logical function in her brain. Her nails clawed his head for good measure, a single breath before his finger plunged into her easily making lose her ability stand. She almost collapsed, but his strong arm kept her aloft. When his thumb started caressing her centre and as his middle finger spread her apart, her curses began losing their vowels slowly and became deep consonants. When his mouth left her breast and licked down to her belly, the consonants became biting groans and when his mouth passed the curls of her sex and he kneeled in front of her, every single sound seized and time stood still. She counted inwards, begging all the gods for him to continue his daring endeavour. When his tongue pursued it's target between her folds, time returned like a vortex to draw her in a swirling ecstasy. Every vowel and consonant burst out of her chest again, in messed up combinations that made no sense, but betrayed her arousal not only to him, but also to all their neighboors.
"Keep-it-down!" He grumbled right onto the most intimate and aroused part of her body and she shuddered hard, feeling at the edge of a fleeting orgasm that he denied her by stopping right at the last moment. Then as she was about to call him out, his mouth locked onto her and she lost part of her eyesight. His tongue worked on her meticulously, not allowing her a moment of breath, until she bucked heavily against him and collapsed under an orgasm that stole also half of her brain. His hands kept her steady as he climbed up her trembling body planting soft kisses everywhere.
She could instantly smell herself on him, "I need more", she kissed him feeling the aftershocks of her release thundering through her body.
He rolled his tongue into her mouth and his kiss had such a carnal undertone that she instantly clenched with the need to feel more from him. That void she had always been feeling was now painfully prominent, even though she just had a major orgasm.
"Oh, by heavens I need more too", he pulled back and his eyes were dilated with passion.
Wordlessly she looked at him as her hands followed the thin line of hair on his stomach right down to his trousers. Her eyes burrowed into his, fearless and needy, for a few silent moments were neither was moving. "Can I touch you, or will you push me away again?" She whispered.
His hand curved around hers and led her to undo the straps, "I won't push you away. Not tonight, Eilin." His eyes were tense, almost unblinking. She opened his trousers and pulled them down at his hips, keeping her eyes steadily on his. Her heart was thumping wildly and she was afraid to see what she had been feeling above his clothing all this time. He saw her hesitation and led her to him. "Touch me", he said quietly. Her heart tripped over it's own beat and her mouth watered when her fingers grazed the softest skin she had ever felt, above the hardest and most substantial erection she had ever imagined. She wrapped her poor fingers around him as much as she could and squeezed, wanting to feel every inch that impressive muscle. His jaw flexed and he inhaled sharply. She looked up worriedly, "Did I hurt you?"
"No, my beautiful Eilin", he pushed her back to the armchair. He urged her to open up her legs and he settled between them carefully. Her hand gave him another possessive squeeze that tensed the muscles of his forearm, "try like this…" his hand came around hers to show her what he liked. The way his strong body was cradled between her legs and what he was leading her to do at his weighty erection was enough to make her throb again in need. She squirmed trying to find some way to relieve her arousal, but for the first time since they became intimate she saw him abandoning himself at the moment and she didn't want to stop that. She got enthused by the waves of pleasure that seemed to shift every single muscle on his handsome face and that was enough to bring her on the verge again without him even touching her. Seeing his face enfolded in pure ecstasy was probably the most erotic thing she had ever experienced up till then. Suddenly his hand stopped it's labouring and squeezed himself harder than she would have ever dared. A hiss escaped his lips and he leaned his head onto her cheek, "I want to feel you", his voice vibrated with a richness that made her heart pick up speed. She looked down at him and saw her small hand wrapped around what was a definitely formidable arousal and his large hand engulfing both her and himself, his knuckles turning white.
"me too", she nodded fiercely although fear began pooling in her stomach along with excitement.
He pushed her hand away, and settled between her legs. His lips planted gentle wet pecks on her cheek, until they found her mouth and there they remained, half open, panting with his fiery want. He led himself to her and she braced herself, but instead of claiming her, as she was expecting, he stopped. Then he drew his considerable length on her, making her whole body convulse with a need that seemed to arise from her very soul. He started a patient slow rubbing game that was a challenge to his willpower, but quickly made Eilin lose her mind and her ability to stop the keening sounds that escaped her throat, until his mouth muted her. He only intended to ready her for him, knowing that this was going to be a tight fit, but it was starting to backfire on him. Her scorching heat, her wetness and the inarticulate sounds she was making into his mouth were slowly sucking all logic out of him. As his tongue rolled deeply into her mouth, tasting every single groan she was giving him, his hips gave one undulating unintentional swoop and he got buried in her half way through. A curse left his mouth and a painful cry left hers. He felt her muscles clenching in order to keep him out. His size was not going to be easily accepted by her small and dainty body, but he throbbed with the need to tear into her. Yet the remaining logic in his foggy mind told him to stop and breathe. Just breathe…breathe…and calm down.
"Thorin…", she gasped and her nails clawed his forearms. She wanted to stop the stinging pain that battered her body.
"I know..breathe…calm down", he whispered, talking to her but also to himself.
"The pain…the pain", she whimpered, knowing that she was going to be bloody after this. She could feel the tears happening down there just as her body was trying to push him out…and at the same time pull him in.
He swallowed heavily and counted internally. Then he kissed her lips softly and caressed her temple, "open your eyes and look at me".
She did and he saw both the pain and the need in them, equal parts, fighting each other. "Slowly…we will take it slowly. Okay?"
She nodded fiercely, "Yes, please". Her nails were clawing bloody trails on his forearms, but he didn't mind.
"You know what I liked most about you when I first saw you?" He smiled down at her.
"No…"
"That you looked like an elf. A beautiful, airy, red-headed elf, with an angelic voice, that has come to heal me", he spoke softly.
She smiled and sighed deeply, feeling her overstretched muscles numbing down slowly as he remained immovable, "Thought you hated elves".
"Females are not bad at all", his eyes burrowed in hers with a playful glint.
She frowned in disbelief, "What the hell Thorin?!"
He chuckled, "Not an easy thing to admit to".
She smiled widely and nodded, "I bet!"
He pushed slowly and moved a little deeper flaring up her pain and making her squeeze her eyes tight and claw his forearms once again. He nodded patiently. "Just breathe and listen to my voice", he reassured her and gently kissed her temple. "You have such an exceptional beauty that you steel my breath away every time I look at you….and such a sweet awkwardness that you make my heart come alive", he placed a velvety kiss on her neck.
She smiled and closed her eyes. "You are doing well. Keep it up…". She wanted to hear more about how he felt about her.
"Did you know that I wanted to taste every single inch of your body the day you fought my arm so bravely when Oin was stitching me up?" He smiled upon her throat.
Her mouth dropped open. "You were half unconscious!" He pushed a little further, but this time she didn't feel the excruciating pain she had experienced on first contact. Slowly her muscles were getting used to him and his careful tries.
"Half drunk to oblivion more like it, but I still wanted to have you from the first moment I laid eyes on you", he pulled back and looked into her eyes with breathtaking honesty.
Upon his words the first traces of pleasure echoed deep into her bruised tunnel. "Me too", she whispered and her hands declawed his forearms and burrowed under his armpits holding firmly on his shoulder-blades. Another careful swoop brought him deeper and she felt him hitting something inside that made her eyes roll to the back of her head as it send a signal of pleasure all over her lower body.
His mouth bordered to her ear, "We're almost there", he whispered and her skin prickled.
A whimper of need left her half open lips. "Do it", Her hands took hold of him, hanging on as he gave the final gentle push that brought him to the hilt.
The moan that left her mouth was deep and filled with both pain and pleasure, "Oh, Eru…!" She wouldn't have believed that her body was able to stretch so much or that someone would be able to touch places inside she didn't know ever existed.
"Better?" He panted onto her ear and she felt each burning exhalation running down her spine and ending around his arousal in the form of her tight muscles giving him their squeezing approval.
She nodded breathlessly, "yes".
One arm wrapped under her armpit and the other took firm hold of her hip as he claimed her with a slow and careful thrusting that stung like hell. She clang onto him for life, squeezing her eyes tight and feeling her body tensing beyond recognition, not knowing if if she wanted eject him or keep him there forever. Every plunge felt like a stab and even though she had been wet and ready, the pain and his size were not allowing her to feel any lubrication at all. Yet, she held on, breathing hard onto the croon of his neck and trying to diminish the pain that kept coming back with each movement. It was first his playful tongue that allowed her to partially let go of the tension as it slid past her lips. Then it was his hand that assisted, by curving above her breast and tweaking her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. The first exhalation of pleasure came out of her mouth when he pushed deep in her at the same moment he pinched her tender peak. Her legs that were up till then openly tense and unmoving, unlocked. One came around his waist, savouring on his strong muscles tensing under her. The other slid down his thigh and her toes curled inwards as the way he was touching her deepest parts was beginning to spread heat to her lower body. She drew him in and arched against his body, wanting to feel every inch of him, as his mouth worked trails of magic on her neck and chest. The burning pain in her slowly got replaced with trickling warmth and then with a twisting pleasure that made her heave against him. His careful handling made her feel revelled beyond any expectations. She smiled and bucked her hips, trying to swallow the whole of him, something her body found impossible to do without a new flare of pain. The appreciative groan that left his lips though was enough payment and she relished on the effect she was having on him.
Slowly his careful thrusts and soft-spoken, loving words of Khuzdul into her ear, melted her body into hot lava and she forgot all about the pain as she steadily unravelled every thread of her need to him. It didn't take long for him to make her move under him, desperately trying to catch the release that his steady drive was promising. When a while ago she wanted to keep him out, now she grabbed onto him, legs, arms and mouth never wanting to let him go…and then she is there…the hot pleasure and the promise of the ultimate release…just there….at the edge of her grasp. A few more firm thrusts and the silver sparks smashed through her making her exhale his name as she came undone.
His hot breath burned her skin and he stopped to delight at her release. It took her a while to settle down, but when he felt her breath slowing and her fingers relaxing on his shoulder-blades, he looked down at her, "You are so beautiful".
She shivered feeling blissful and held onto him like a barnacle. She knew that after two such intense orgasms it was difficult nay impossible to go for another, but she wanted to feel him getting the same level of pleasure out of their intimacy, so she urged him on "more".
He picked her up as if she was a feather and brought her to the bed. He rested his elbows at the side of her head and his hands caressed her hair as he positioned himself better and thrust into her so deep that a broken undulating moan came out of her throat and into his mouth. They made slow love. He took his time with her, pulling her gently up step by step not caring how long it would take him. He caressed and kissed. He mauled and fondled until she began getting overwhelmed once more by a breathtaking overtone of fiery pleasure she didn't expect from her body, so close to her previous releases. Her heart opened up to encompass his, just as her body was encompassing his so lovingly….Her nails once more became sharp knives that didn't give any consideration to his skin and broke through his tattoo of fierceness. She wanted to leave him her own painful gift to their joined ecstasy. When his drive became harder and quicker, her breath became strained from her need to reach the evasive point of bright light that was somewhere up there just out of her reach. It was waving back and forth with his rhythm and she almost had it in her grasp unbelievable as it was.
"Thorin...don't stop please", this time she didn't say it to assist his release, but hers.
His hand stroked her cheek, "One more time…for me", he whispered and she concentrated deep into his beautiful eyes. The ones that magnetised her heart from the first time she saw them open up. Those eyes that betrayed so many unspoken things to her. She was so in love with his eyes. Her fingers touched the edge of his goose trail and then followed his nose and found his lips, as his thrusting intensified. She was in love with his handsome face and body, but above all with the way he made her feel. She was so in love with the whole of him, it felt almost unbearable. She felt her chest welling and she pinched his lip possessively, "Thorin…" she panted, feeling each letter sliding out of her tongue like led. She wanted to add 'I love you' next to his name, but fear overtook her. Instead she threw her head back to the pillow abandoning her body into another mind shattering orgasm that she muted alone this time by cupping her mouth and lodging those hard moans into her throat, making the final result sound like choking.
Words long forgotten and deeply painful in their emptiness echoed into his ecstatic mind, threatening to bring him down hard with them. "Don't plant any seeds". He wanted to yell a monumental curse to his dead father for appearing out of nowhere to stain him. He wanted to bring him back from the dead in order to reveal to him with sick pleasure that all his fears had been unfounded. That his constant fear that Thorin would have a child out of marriage with Siv had been for naught. He wanted to do it just for revenge, even though this truth pained him deeper than it would anyone else. He gritted his teeth and pulled back in order to look at Eilin's face. His eyes desperately followed every single inch of her beauty and he used the amazing woman under him, to drive those demons away as he reached his own heaven in her arms. He didn't know if she felt his fears or if she understood the pain in his eyes, but she offered him a single smile. It bespoke of such affection that everything else dispersed into the void. After that smile, his mind was blessed to have only her in it. Her and her face unfolding in pleasure under him. Her and the way her body invited him to join in it's thundering release….and he did without any remorse. With no fears or regrets. When his orgasmic groan sipped through her skin it was much louder than any of hers had ever been and she looked at him partly amused, "I thought you told me to be quiet…Did you realise that you've just been heard all over the royal corridor?"
He laughed on her neck as he gave her a couple of precious fading thrusts, not really caring who heard him. He cared only that this release of his, was dedicated only to her and no one else. It bore his devotion to her body with a iron rod that burned through his very heart and embraced every single inch of hers. He felt thoroughly sated but above all relieved that his nightmares remained behind this time and allowed him to enjoy this woman in breath stealing totality. He bit her neck greedily, not getting enough of the saltiness of her skin on his tongue and then inhaled deeply her faint sweat under the sexual muskiness of her multiple orgasms ….and he was in heaven. Totally bewildered by how easily he had convinced himself that this feeling didn't matter anymore or that he was never going to feel it again. "If I say I don't care, will it bother you?"
She laughed happily and squeezed him tight, "It will, because you are always stopping me from expressing myself. That's unfair!".
"I'll let you wake up everyone next time and we'll be even, alright?" he grinned at her.
She beamed up, "deal!"
"Are you alright?" His brows moved with uncertainty.
"I am in heaven and I never want to come down. You didn't allow me to catch a breath once. You are supposed to be two hundred years old? Your virility is off the charts", she spoke with such unprocessed sincerity that his stomach bubbled up.
"A hundred and ninety six", he noticed slightly irritated when this young beauty mentioned his age even in this complimenting manner.
"Sorry for adding you four petty years, but you are utterly overwhelming despite them, or maybe because of them", she gave him a subtle look that made him appreciate her compliments even more.
"Did I hurt you a lot…?" He pulled back in order to check on her.
She cleared his face from his sweaty hair. "Yes, but the pleasure you offered me was worth every single flare of pain".
"Let me see you", he said and in an act totally out of character for him -or so she would have thought- he opened up her legs and checked her sex gently with his fingers. He looked at her in a way that warmed up her already conquered heart before speaking with a clearly regretful tone, "Eilin, I am so sorry…"
"What?" She stretched with a heartfelt yawn.
"You are bloody…" he said and reached out at the side table to get an unused cloth that Oin had forgotten there.
"Hey, I don't care! I feel fine", she said and stretched contently again, buried inside a cloud of bliss that made her feel that anything was possible.
"Let me clean you", he said and stood up to dip the cloth into clean water.
She smiled, her face half hidden behind her bicep, as her eyes feasted hungrily on his strong body. When she looked up at the crown of Durin and the seven starts between his shoulder blades that was now clearly visible under the wet strands of his hair, it was the first time she didn't feel terrified of the heavy lineage he was carrying on his shoulders. The heir of Durin this time was not a reminder that made her apprehensive. It made her proud that he chose her to share his intimacy and she didn't want to lose the feeling of wholesomeness.
When he returned, bringing along Oin's treatment, she smiled coyly at him. When the wet cloth touched her gently between her folds though the stinging pain returned angry and made her hiss and pull away from him.
"I am so sorry for hurting you Eilin…" he said and looked up at her, with eyes that bespoke of true regret, but how could they have avoided this? Her body wouldn't have been able to accept this man without sacrificing something in order to accommodate him and she didn't regret one single moment, or one single inch of torn skin. She wanted to relish everything at that moment. The pain, the pleasure, the satisfaction…everything.
She reached out to stop him, "I loved everything you did to me, and I believe you can tell my honesty. You've felt me rather intensely, more than a couple of times", she tried to reassure him.
"I did", he smiled, but when he looked down he sobered up quickly again and began a careful job of cleaning her up. The shots of pain she felt each time he wiped her bruised skin felt like a caress to her heart. His gesture touched her so deeply that she felt her eyes overflowing with tears and she averted her gaze from him. She had gotten much more bloody before, but those men never asked for forgiveness with such sorrowful honesty, never brought her to such heights and never tried to clean her afterwards….they laughed at her, pushed her around and kicked her to the ground wanting to make her bleed more. They tore her clothes and pulled her hair. They never wiped her tears away, they spat on them. How could life offer such extreme experiences on both sides of the spectrum and not expect her to fall head over heels for this man that was cleaning the wounds he caused with such affection? He felt her silent tears and looked up at her worriedly, "What is it? Am I hurt you still?"
Her eyes passed from his sweaty long hair and remained for a moment on the scar tissue of his forehead wound that was still partly visible. They strayed to his eyes and it felt as if they held all the magic of Middle Earth in them. She looked at his proud nose that always flared when he was annoyed and at those soft lips that could kiss her to oblivion. She basked at his bearded chin that felt so rough on her sensitive skin then down to his neck and strong chest. She admired his blacksmith and weapon of choice tattoos and then she followed the line of dark hair down his muscular stomach to stall on the heavy scar that killed him…and her heart stopped. She shook her head feeling her throat clenching with more choked tears, "Not at all".
He put the cloth aside and placed some balm on his fingers. He began spreading it gently on her, with a reverence that made her heart yell in a desperate need to lock the whole of him inside it. Poor poor heart…would it be able to encompass his everything? "Don't tell me this is part of the dwarven courting?" She tried to alleviate her need to cry tears of happiness again. He had seen her crying enough. He was always so tense and broody. Now she wanted to enjoy his relaxed shoulders and the look of total calmness on his face, not make him tense once more.
He looked up from his work, "It most certainly is. I want to alleviate the discomfort I caused"
She sat up and pulled his hand away from her, even though his gentle cleaning and the medication of Oin had indeed began soothing her down surprisingly well, "Don't put your hands on me like that, unless you are up for a fourth round", she caressed his cheek.
"No more rounds for you tonight. You need to rest. Let me finish with Oin's treatment or you are going to be very sore tomorrow", he frowned.
She pretended to think and bit her lower lip, "Hmmm..Oin's treatment…That is why you are calling this concoction ointment?"
He chuckled, "you just cannot get serious can you? Not even for a second…"
"I don't want to be serious. I want to look and sound as happy as you make me feel inside", she beamed up to him and pulled him down next to her. "Also I don't want you to treat what offered me so much pleasure….I want to revel in it. I want to stain your sheets with it, so you will never forget what we did here today".
One of his arms came under her and pulled her back and the other brought his heavy blankets over their naked bodies, "How can I ever forget it? Your fire has branded my mind for life" He whispered and cradled her close to his heart.
She snuggled back against him and closed her eyes, "yours has branded both my body and my mind…" she murmured feeling content and sleepy. Her hips undulated back to his, in order to feel him and she shuddered by both the softness of his skin and the slight pain between her legs. He was right. Tomorrow she was going to be sore as hell…What he didn't know was that she was going to cherish every single moment of being unable to walk straight. With those thoughts in mind and his large body offering safety she quickly dozed off into probably the most peaceful sleep she ever remembered in her life, without even counting on leaving him behind awake and musing at her steady breath.
-.-
A few hours later Thorin woke up from another broken sleep, that this time didn't have nightmares in it, but complicated images that made no real sense. He leaned on his elbow and brooded over her for a long time. It took him immeasurable amounts of effort not to build gravestones from the pillows under her head and instead kiss her gently on her shoulder and run his roughened palm on her soft curves in order to remind himself that she was alive and warm. Not blue and cold. He leaned his forehead on her arm and then his hand touched her back gently, counting her breaths for what felt like an eternity, making sure that he wasn't dreaming.
The fear of cold skin under his fingers was not easy to push away after so many years, but she continued breathing, reassuring him that this wasn't a dream that was going to turn bad. That he was not going to wake up to frozen skin, blue lips and glassy eyes, like he always did in his nightmares. He looked at her beautifully serene face and the consolation that this time things would be different, came deep from his heart in the form of something unclasping. As if an unseen lock blew open all of a sudden after years of being rusty and closed up tight. This was not the ghost of his former love that haunted him. This was Eilin. Alive, beautiful, witty, funny, brave, loyal and above all full of life. Her back was against his chest and his hair was creating a blanket for her shoulder trying to shield her from the outside world. As if it was going to steal her from him in some manner.
She was blissfully oblivious in her dreams, about his dormant nightmares that kept him awake night after night. Her long hair was an entangled mess around her figure that he ached to ran his fingers through. The bite sized nibble on the side of her throat was his testimony of how easily he lost his control around her. He shoved the difficulty of their situation back almost with hatred, convincing himself that he was ready to take on his responsibility towards this beautiful woman in every form, no matter who he was, or who she was. He knew that things wouldn't be easy, but they were too far gone now to turn back. It was not just him giving her a hair bead and she a flower crown. It was his want that had branded her loins and his need to repeat the deed as many times as his heart would be able to take without collapsing…..yet disappointment awaited her at the turn of the road. Even if he managed to overcome the difficulties of his lineage, she had to know that he wasn't able to offer her a family as she was probably imagining it. She had to learn the truth, if he could ever find the courage to tell her.
He sat in his armchair and emptied his cup, not in a hurry to reveal to her his deepest fears and disappoint her….Dwalin had been right…he managed to put himself in a similarly hard situation as he had done with Siv, if not even worst, and this time there was no father to put the blame on. This time it was them that could control every single aspect of this new story. He looked down and smiled at the flower crown that was abandoned at the table. He picked it up and turned it, inside his large fingers with a wistful smile. Then his eyes remained at the fire and his mind emptied of all thoughts. He stayed there woolgathering until his skin felt cold and shivers ran down his spine. Afterwards he returned to be and scooted next to her, careful not to wake her up. As he laid his head down she stirred and turned to him with a stretch that brought her leg above his hip and her arm over his shoulder. Her face came inches from his. Inside her semi-sleepy state she nuzzled her nose to his beard and exhaled his name before drifting off to sleep again. He pulled her in, yearning to steal some of her warmth and ability to sleep so peacefully.
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