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A/N: As always I want to thank my guardian angel StephCalvino for beta reading this story and also co-writing it with me *.*
On being fearless
Up at the royal corridors, three doors down from Dis' room, Rhiannon was weeping in Eilin's arms unstoppably. From the moment they saw each other again they both fell in each other's arms, wordlessly and remained there crying tears of healing. Dis stood by the door discreetly with a soft smile on her lips, but still the anger that had been seething inside her ever since her brother brought Karunn back in Erebor felt dangerously close to explosion. Especially after she saw him again this afternoon. The difficulty she faced when Thorin arrived with Eilin, in order not to expose Karunn right then and there in front of all the Lords and the crowd of common people had been extreme.
Ever since she escorted Eilin to this room, she had been fidgeting with the frills on her sleeves trying not to bite her lips too much and to keep her adrenaline from overpowering her logic once more. She didn't know why Thorin had called over that evil bitch, but she knew her brother well enough to be certain that all this had a purpose. That was the only reason that stopped her from doing Karunn in, several times over. Fain's oldest daughter had kept away from the Princess during her stay, but she didn't keep away from Valdis or Dis' son. Something that fired up the already boiling rage of Dis even more. She talked to Fili about her, but her son replied succinctly that these were Thorin's orders and he knew better than to question his uncle's decisions. Dis knew that Thorin would have been ultimately proud about how well her son was managing that woman and how typically distanced and polite he was with her, even though he knew all the details of what she had done to their family. He was playing his part admirably well, but that didn't calm down Dis who wanted to grab Thorin by the neck and throttle him to reason.
He should have entered Erebor with explosive fury towards the evil monster that almost killed his child, his wife and himself, not as calmly as he had entered this morning. Either her brother had lost his spark after this nightmarish adventure or he had a hidden agenda. In any case she needed to talk to him, which was impossible as currently he was being addressed by the delegations. Another matter that caused her extreme nervousness. She looked down at the bed where Eilin was caressing Rhiannon's hair gently and speaking soft words to her. Dis observed her sister-in-law with care and recognised the peaceful content on Eilin's face.
This blossoming young woman was not the same person as the one that left Erebor enfolded in such anguish and pain. This was not even the Eilin that had been serving Dis in the Ironhills. This was a completely different woman in front of her. Full of serene determination and inspiring calmness. Dis for a moment envisioned Eilin as a Queen by Thorin's side and she was pleased that this image was befitting the young lady so much in her current state. Eilin may have been born in the gutter and may have lived in hell, but she had gone through a miraculous transformation that changed the timid, scared creature into a blooming, courageous and proud young woman that had a lot to say and a voice to do it with. Dis assumed her brother had a lot to do with that transformation, nevertheless that didn't diminish her admiration towards Eilin. Dis inhaled deeply and observed the two young women in their affectionate reunion.
"Stop crying my darling. We are together again. There is no reason to cry, is there?" Eilin smiled lovingly at Rhiannon.
"I should have known better than to trust that fiend! Eilin forgive me, but I was desperate. When I saw her in all her glory I broke down in front of her. I begged her for help. She spoke with so many details about you that I was convinced. Or wasn't I? I don't know...maybe I wasn't and it was just my need to hang onto someone lest I died..." Rhiannon wailed in pain.
Eilin enclosed Rhiannon to her bosom. "Hush my dear, please. You don't have to explain to me your reasons for trusting Karunn. How could you have known the cunning plans that were taking place in her mind. How could you have known the hate that she was harbouring for me. No one is blaming you..."
Rhiannon grasped her hand and looked up. "But me. No one is blaming me, but me! I cannot forgive myself for giving her the baby belt. It is what destroyed you. I know. Princess Dis told me everything that happened. We told our respective stories and the truth got revealed. If I had been a little more distrustful then maybe all this would have been avoided."
Eilin gave Dis a look above her shoulder. "I am lucky I have you and the princess in my life to help me out."
Dis smiled. "And little Lis, don't forget. She was the one that did most of the work."
Eilin reciprocated the smile. "Little Lis. Have you met her yet?"
Rhiannon wiped her nose with the back of her hand and Eilin reached out to give her a clean cloth from the side table. Rhiannon took it gratefully. "Many times over. She didn't want to leave me alone after she understood I had information to give. She was sleeping close to my bed in case I remembered something during the middle of the night and no one was with me. She was afraid that because of my ill state I would have forgotten it the very next day."
"Well, she wasn't all that wrong. It took us several days to put every piece of information together, but your testimony cannot stand alone, unfortunately." Dis sounded regretful.
Rhiannon nodded and Eilin frowned. "Because of my profession, right ma'am?"
Dis pressed her lips and inclined her head. "I fear so. Not many Dwarf Lords are going to be willing to believe you in the stead of Lord Fain's oldest daughter. The keeper of the Ironhills."
Eilin's face fell. "You must be joking my lady."
Dis raised her hand. "Don't misunderstand me Eilin. I am simply stating the truth, but we are lucky because your friend Rhiannon isn't the only witness to this choleric scheme against the King's family."
Eilin swallowed a dry throat. "Who else is there?"
"Nyrthrasir who has woken up from his deep sleep and three of Dain's soldiers. Now it all comes down to how my brother will decide to use all these testimonies against her. We have to wait for him." Dis pressed her lips.
Eilin's jawline tensed. "The man who spoke so ill of me to Thorin is awake?" Her voice gained a terrifying capacity that made Dis strangely proud.
The princess raised her brow. "Indeed he is."
"I want to speak to him!" Eilin demanded.
Rhiannon pressed her hand and Eilin reciprocated.
Dis cringed. "That's not my decision my dear. That's the King's decision and currently I have no bloody idea who is the King of this stronghold."
Eilin closed her eyes and inhaled deeply in order to settle down the anger that got ignited in her upon hearing this man's unholy name. "I will ask either King for an audience with that man and I want to do it with my husband-to-be next to me. I want Thorin to hear me confront this filth once and for all! Him and Karunn!"
Dis nodded. "I don't blame you, but I will beseech you to give Thorin the opportunity to unfold his own plans about these people to us. He never does anything out of chance."
Rhiannon pulled Eilin. "Don't speak with that witch. No one should speak to her. She's a master manipulator. You cannot imagine..." She was pale from fear.
Eilin's lips twisted in anger. "Oh, I have a very good idea of what she can do. She manipulated Thorin against me and he is not a man easily fooled. I will not underestimate my enemies anymore. I've learned that lesson well."
Dis crossed her arms.
"Will you ever forgive me Eilin? I love you like a sister and I'd do nothing to harm you. Look what I accomplished though. I harmed you without ever meaning to..." Rhiannon began sobbing again.
Eilin embraced her tightly and felt her heart catching at the frailty of Rhiannon's cold skin. "Never ask for forgiveness again. Remember when we said goodbye at the tavern?"
Rhiannon's skeletal hands tightened around Eilin shoulders. She nodded. "At that moment I lost the only family I had."
Eilin's eyes teared up. "Me too, I lost my sister and I knew you were unhealthy already. All this time I feared that you didn't survive. Karunn's evil scheming managed to bring us back together my darling."
Rhiannon smiled bitterly. "Nothing gets you down. Nothing changed. You are the same bright star I remember so well."
Eilin caressed her hair. "You have no idea how many things have truly changed and I am happy that you will be here next to me to witness them."
Rhiannon tensed. "I don't belong in this stronghold. I am not a Dwarrowdam. The King can throw me out whenever he so wishes."
Eilin pulled back and frowned. "Thorin would never do such a thing" -then in retrospection she looked at Dis above her shoulder- "neither would King Fili. You are my sister...what are you fearing? That we are going to point you back to that tavern?"
Rhiannon's face paled. "Don't do that to me Eilin, I will die. I will ask the King, no I will beg for him, NO I will throw myself at his feet to ask for a job here. I can work in the stables cleaning manure or the mines cleaning up the dirt. Put me anywhere. In the darkest corner of Erebor and I shall remain there working my butt off without a single word. Just please don't send me out there ever again. I don't want to face the world anymore. I don't want to face men anymore...please..." Rhiannon's shoulders shook by her suppressed sobs.
Eilin caressed her thin hair. "No one is going to throw you out my dear."
Dis pressed her lips. "Erebor doesn't cast away people in need, no matter their race."
Rhiannon's sobs increased and her wiry arms twisted painfully around Eilin body. That is when the door knocked and Dis who was leaning on it, opened it up. Thorin's resolute face made its appearance. Dis hushed him and beckoned him in as the two women consoled each other. He closed the door and leaned on it also like his sister. He crossed his arms and sighed deeply.
Dis looked at him sideways. "So who is the King of this damned city?"
Thorin snorted. "Does it matter? You are related to whoever takes over."
Dis's face mellowed. "That's true, but I'd like to know."
Thorin pressed his lips.
"Did they accept your abdication wolf? I know Fili wasn't going to do it. How about the others?" she asked in a whisper in order not to alert Rhiannon and Eilin who were buried into the world of their reunion.
Thorin shook his head.
Dis's face brightened up with a beaming smile. "Welcome back my King."
He raised his brow.
"Did they accept to unite under your rulership?" Dis touched his bicep gently.
He nodded calmly.
Dis bit her lower lip and yelped happily. "Congratulations!" she fell on him and planted a firm kiss on his cheek. "I am so happy for you, but also so pissed off!" She said and her voice turned from blithe to annoyed within a few words.
He raised his brow. "What did I do?"
Dis pressed her lips and felt the waves of happiness retreating under the suppressed wrath she had been feeling during his absence. "You invited that bitch into our home and offered her hospitality! She should have been cast into the deepest dungeon and branded as a traitor! She should have had her hair shaved and her clothes torn! She should have been forced to prance around the whole kingdom in threadbare clothing that would show the traitor's rune at her forearm! She shouldn't have been keeping close company to my son, nor acting like a lady when clearly she is not! You know I admire your rule, but this time you managed to make a very serious miscalculation."
Thorin sighed patiently.
"What took over your brilliant mind to make you act like a bloody idiot, tell me that?" Dis hissed.
He raised his brow silently.
"What is this taciturnity now? Why are you not speaking to me? You know Fili stopped me thrice from poisoning Karunn's dinner? I was so ready to get rid of her!" Dis crossed her arms truly pissed.
"It's not your place to make such decisions." He spoke heavily.
"And it is yours?"
He looked at her fixedly.
"Then why didn't you do something about it instead of allowing her to prance freely and rub her victory in our faces?" Dis spat at him.
"What victory was that?" he asked quietly.
"She almost managed to destroy you and Eilin and kill your child. Not to mention managed to kill Myrna's child!" Dis was trying to keep her voice low as Eilin and Rhiannon didn't even notice Thorin's presence, but she was failing.
"The only victim of her choleric scheme was Myrna's unborn child."
"And that's not enough? It wasn't enough that your wife suffered and almost lost your child? It wasn't enough that you went into a suicide mission that almost killed you? Thorin get your head straight, or I will do it for you! I will kill her I swear!" Dis rebuke angrily.
"You hurry too much and you jump to the wrong conclusions gerbil. Calm down." He rejoined cooly.
"The welfare of your family and yourself is what matters most to me!" Dis retorted.
"I love you too, but don't underestimate my judgment." He sounded austere.
"Tell me that inviting her here is part of some plan, because I am scarcely keeping myself from storming her damned room and choking her to death!" Dis looked at him angrily.
"Do you know Fain's family well?" Thorin frowned.
"As much as my few months in the Ironhills allowed me to learn them," Dis frowned by the sudden twist on the conversation.
"Do you know Karunn's mother well?" he continued.
"She seemed honourable and kind enough, but I don't know her well no," Dis said with uncertainty.
"Do you believe that sending troops over to arrest Karunn would end up with her indeed being arrested?" Thorin looked at her solemnly.
Dis frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Don't you think it's more possible that her mother would have found a way to hide or send her into exile in order to protect her?" Thorin raised his brow.
Dis's mouth dropped open. "Possibly."
"Even if we managed an arrest, do you think it would have been easy for Fili to handle both Dain and Fain concerning their family? The boy barely had the facts straight about what happened, never mind balancing two of the most ferocious Dwarf Lords in Middle Earth that would have felt deeply insulted if not explained the facts properly." He continued with the same calm demeanour.
Dis was slowly starting to understand where this was going.
"Wouldn't it be easier to control Karunn, by having her as an official guest in Erebor under King Fili's rule, while I and my precious were gone?"
Dis sighed. "Indeed it would be."
"Wouldn't it have given me ample time to think about her punishment without also having to hunt her all over Middle Earth, or fight the Ironhills in order to get her?" Thorin said resolutely.
Dis nodded briskly.
"We need peace especially now that I have accomplished the unity of the seven families. I will not risk Erebor's peace for that filth". He whispered calmly.
Dis looked at him tensely for a few moments. "At least you convinced me that you are not losing your mind."
He pursed his lips.
"When will you arrest her?" Dis frowned.
"She's locked in the dungeons already." He said thoughtfully.
Dis' face brightened up for a brief second as a wave of satisfaction awoke her body, but quickly her eyes thinned with hatred. "Have you decided what you are going to do with her? Will it be a public trial?"
"I am not sure yet," he drawled.
Dis's lips pressed with uncertainty. "I would have preferred something more particular, you know."
"And I would have preferred you to interfere less," he rebuked.
Dis opened her mouth to reply when Rhiannon's surprised croak drew their attention towards the bed. "That's him!? No way!" she said with clumsy astonishment.
Eilin clasped her friend's hand gently. "Let me introduce Thorin the second, also known as Oakenshield!" she exclaimed proudly.
Rhiannon's eyes popped out of their sockets. "He looks nothing like your drawings!" -she choked- "Well, I mean nothing like my descriptions."
Eilin grinned. "Don't you think I know?" she admired his imposing presence that had overtaken the room.
Rhiannon opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. "Wow...I really did him an injustice, didn't I?"
Eilin pressed her frail fingers. "Who can blame you? Which one of us had seen a Dwarf Lord in our lives? Never mind having a true depiction of the appearance of one of their Kings." -she then turned to Thorin- "Don't stand there my love. Come, let me introduce my sister Rhiannon!" she raised her hand at him.
Dis pushed him and he walked with a soft smile towards the women. He took the girl's hand in his gently. "Nice to meet you young lady. Oin notified me that your coughing is getting better. How do you feel?"
Rhiannon was looking like a fish out of water. "Uhm, much better Sir" -then she turned confused at Eilin- "What do I call him? King, Sir, Lord...?" she whispered hastily.
Eilin found Rhiannon's bewilderment heartwarming. "My Lord should be fine." She looked at him for confirmation and he smiled sweetly at her.
"Are you going to throw me out of Erebor my Lord? Please allow me to stay and I will do everything I can to please your family. Anything! Ask for anything at all!" -she then looked at Eilin lovingly- "Well, apart from my services because you are married to her now, right? No wait!" -she slapped her forehead- "engaged! You are engaged to my best friend and she is pregnant with your child and you understand...but anything else you might need I am at your Kingly service, you know?" her eyes were eating him up hungry for an answer of acceptance.
Thorin huffed lightly and raised his brow at Eilin. "I thought no one could get more awkward than you."
She reached up and stippled her fingers through his. "We grew up together...she's got the same quirks as me." Then she brought his hand down and kissed the back of it.
"Wow, I mean wow..." -her eyes looked bewildered at Thorin- "I never thought I'd live to see the mighty Oakenshield, never mind the inside of his stronghold. This must be a dream. Pinch me Eilin!" -She turned to her friend- "Come on now, pinch the shit out of me!" -she cried. Then she paled and cupped her mouth- "Oh, I shouldn't have sworn in front of you my Lord, forgive me, I don't know how to act properly around royalty..." she sounded so regretful that Thorin's heart warmed up.
Dis laughed lightly from the door and Thorin smiled.
Eilin cupped Rhiannon's cheek. "I don't think he minds too much," then she turned to Thorin for confirmation.
He shook his head. "Not at all."
Rhiannon released an exhalation of relief and cupped her bosom. "Thank heavens. I mean I've lived amongst scum all my life and they swear, they swear a lot. I mean Sir..." -she slapped her forehead again- "I mean my Lord, you cannot even believe how much they swear and I kind of inherited their ways, but I will shed them, you just wait and see. I will become the best maiden you've ever had!" -she cringed- "I mean after Eilin, I mean if you take me as a maiden, because I don't care. You can put me anywhere in Erebor Sir, just don't kick me out please!" Her eyes turned pleading on him again.
Eilin's heart broke for her friend and her eyes teared up.
"Eilin is not a maiden anymore," -he smirked down at her and then looked at Rhiannon- "There are job opportunities here in Erebor. I am sure you'll do well as a maiden after Dis shapes you up a little." He looked at his sister above his shoulder.
Dis smiled. "I have it, don't worry wolf."
Rhiannon yelped and pressed Eilin's hands. "Hear that my dear?"
Eilin wiped away her eyes, "I know. In Erebor no lost soul will wither and die. Be assured you are in the care of the most noble family in Middle Earth!"
Thorin allowed the two women to settle down for a few moments. Then he sobered up and looked at Rhiannon who was eating him up with her eyes eager to do anything to please him. "Tell me young lady, will you be willing to testify against Karunn and speak about everything that happened if the need arises?"
Rhiannon almost jumped out of bed and Eilin tried to steady her. "I'll do anything to see her imprisoned for what she did to my precious Eilin Sir...I mean my Lord! I'll tell you everything right now if you wish..."
Thorin shook his head. "I just need to know that you are available for testimony."
Rhiannon frowned. "I am! But please be careful how you talk to her. She is a master manipulator my Lord. I am afraid of seeing her face to face again. I am terrified of what she could do to me, or Eilin."
Eilin pulled Rhiannon into her embrace and kissed her forehead. "No one can touch you now. Don't worry my dear."
Thorin inclined his head. "Very well. I will let you have your time with Eilin. Rest well."
Rhiannon smiled up to him with her naked gums and grabbed his hand. She crushed her cold lips on its back and muttered. "Thank you for giving me a chance in life my Lord. May Eru bless you and my Eilin with many children and lots of love and health and anything your heart desires!"
Thorin smiled kindly and withdrew his hand. "Be well. I need to go."
"Maybe Eilin should come with you my Lord!" Rhiannon looked beseechingly at Eilin, silently begging her to remain.
Thorin's heavy hand pressed Eilin's shoulder gently. "She needs time with you now."
Eilin felt her eyes tearing up and she turned her head and placed a tender kiss on his hand again. "Thank you my love."
His thumb reached up and offered her jawline a feathery caress. "Take care of my Little Gem, alright?"
Eilin's face brightened up the whole room. She gave a soft kiss at the ball of his thumb. "Always my heart."
"Good evening." He rejoined elegantly and went to the door.
Eilin turned at Rhiannon and cupped her cheeks. "We shall talk all night! We have so much to catch up on!"
Dis grasped his arm as he opened the door. "You've got one testimony, but is it enough? It won't stand up to the Lords, will it?" she spoke in a hushed tone.
He shook his head. "No."
Dis's face fell, but his remained resolute. After a moment of calm scrutiny he reached up and cupped Dis's neck. His thumb caressed the sideburns on her jawline. "Tell me something gerbil."
A sweet smile appeared on her lips. "Anything wolf."
"How much does Lieutenant Dongar mean to you?"
Dis's brows wavered indecisively. "Uhm, what does that have to do with anything?"
Thorin smiled down at her reassuringly. "I am not out to make his life hard again, but I need to know."
Dis exhaled and suddenly her cheeks became crimson. Thorin already had his answer, but he still wanted to hear it from his sister's mouth. "I'd prefer if he wasn't forced out of my life soon..."
Thorin's gentle up-tilt of the lips bloomed into a dazzling smile.
Dis reached up and touched his hand gently. "Your face gives me hope that you are not on his case, nevertheless why did you ask about him now?"
Thorin's smile faded out slowly. "Because he's the only one who can link Karunn to Nyrthrasir at this moment."
"Apart from Nyrthrasir himself who's screaming her bloody name down in the dungeons. Dongar is too honourable to betray the secrets of his friend." Dis whispered, not wanting Eilin to overhear them.
"I will need your lieutenant's testimony before I come face to face with Nyrthrasir." Thorin said and removed his hand. He looked back at Eilin and Rhiannon reflectively.
Dis gave him a careful nod of understanding. "Do it. Maybe you'll have better luck than me. Use my Dongar to your will. We need to get to the bottom of this hell and purify this stronghold from these unholy people. Our family needs to heal from this nightmare."
Thorin's eyes gazed at his brave sister and his countenance brightened up by his brotherly love for her. "Your Dongar?"
She blushed more and averted her eyes.
His thumb caught her chin and pulled her head up again so their eyes could meet. "Will we have more weddings in the family soon?"
She bit her lower lip and the smile was barely contained on her face. "If my brother allows and time heals me, then maybe. I am not sure yet."
Thorin inclined his head. "I won't deny you anything your heart desires. He's an honourable man."
Dis reached down and clasped his other hand. Her fingers traced the inside of his palm. She felt the scar tissue that had been created there when he sent the boiling cauldron to the wall that fateful night and her eyes teared up. "I love you wolf."
A tender smile was his answer, but her face sobered up slowly the more her fingers traced his pained palms. Finally after a few tense moments of silence she whispered, "Destroy them!" and she pressed his scars protectively. Even though they were only the scars on his skin, she was also squeezing the scars of his heart at that moment.
"I will." He said with an assertive tone and then with a last look of worship towards his One he closed the door gently behind him. Then before walking back to his office he spoke to the guards. "No one comes in."
The guards presented arms and bowed respectfully as he sauntered down the corridor calmly.
Thorin passed the remaining evening trying to take in everything that happened from the moment he returned to his stronghold again. He sat thoughtfully at the meeting room twisting his crown around with his fingers, listening to the crackling of the fire soothing his nerves. He then sauntered to the throne room and even sat on it for a little while as the Raven Crown kept him company at the golden engraved arm of the throne. He didn't wear it, even though he debated on it heavily. His eyes switched from the huge statues that stood eternal guards of the Mountain King, to the Arkenstone that was shining bright above his head, to his untouched crown. His journey to Erebor had started more than a year ago with him full of bitterness and anger. Never did he imagine in his wildest dreams that it would end up with him having achieved everything he had set out to do, but more importantly with him being a husband and a father to be. This journey changed his perception on life and people. It altered his fixed ideas on what a ruler should be like. It made him uncaring about the wishes of his forefathers and eager to try his own steps upon a stronghold that was too saturated with the ideas of old. He went through hell...nay...he went through several levels of hell in order to sit peacefully on Erebor's throne under the Arkenstone, holding the alliance of the seven Dwarven clans tightly in his fist. He didn't want to lose that sense of peace that had overtaken him so suddenly.
Even though his mind was toying with controlled wrath against the woman who tried to destroy his family, that sense of peace was always there waiting to take over. He hadn't felt this tranquil ever since he had been a young dwarfling under Thror's rule. After the dragon sent his kin into exile he lost his ability to feel unweary and that lasted for one and a half centuries. So he remained seated at his throne contemplating calmly his long and arduous journey until the quiet voice of Balin notified him that the Lords of the families were going to gather for a small feast between them in the royal dining room. It was suggested right at the last minute due of the blithe mood everyone was in. Thorin declined kindly and told Balin to ask Fili to stand in for him. He felt too tired to attend any feast. He needed to return to his rooms and have a good night's rest. When Balin heard his King requiring some repose he felt absolutely ecstatic since he knew how little sleep Thorin had been utilising ever since they left the Blue Mountains. So hearing him asking to rest caused Balin to promise his King that Fili would take care of the Lords. He ordered Thorin to go back to his rooms and sleep for a month if possible. Then Balin pranced out of the throne room as a proud peacock.
Thorin started walking back to his rooms when something stopped him. He looked above his shoulder and raised his brow for a few contemplative moments, before going back to take the Raven Crown.
Next time he placed it down was on the table in front of his fireplace at the royal chambers. He forgot about it as he took off his multiple vests and his heavy belt. Remaining only with a dark green velvet tunic he went to his window and drew back the heavy curtains. The setting sun was peeking out of the clouds and the snow that had buried his balcony almost a month ago was now melting away. The pot that Dis had placed Kili's flower in was revealed and Thorin saw with a failing heart the dry and broken stem of the poor flower. It was almost black. The snow had burned it down. He opened up his window and kneeled above the pot. He cleaned the remaining snow away and that is when a sharp inhalation rattled his chest and his eyes instantly filled with tears. His fingers pressed his lips as those tears pooled in his eyes for several moments. A small green stem was trying to pull itself out of the moist dirt right at the side of the old burned stem. Kili's flower had taken up roots against all odds during the worst storm Erebor had ever seen since before the dragon era. Thorin brought the pot inside and placed it on his nightstand. He remained pale as a ghost looking at it for a long time. Not daring to blink as the tears still pooled there. When he did indeed close his eyes two barely controlled rivers stained his cheeks.
The soul of his boy was at peace finally.
Without having the strength to go and inform Dis about this small miracle he emptied himself on his armchair and looked at the fire until his thoughts got into a tangle that lulled him to sleep. He remained like that until the early hours of the morning when his door opened up quietly to allow Eilin to come in.
She tiptoed to the armchair and smiled down to him with the sweetest smile she could offer. He looked so undisturbed, so serene in his sleep that she didn't want to wake him up. On the other hand she didn't want to go to sleep alone and have him remain on the armchair breaking his back. Deciding to wake him up with the most gentle way possible she leaned down until her lips skimmed the skin of his neck. Her cheeks got scratched by his beard and as her mouth opened up to gift him with a wet kiss she felt the well know warmth spreading inside her.
"Will I ever get used to touching you I wonder..." she whispered.
"I hope not," his husky voice rejoined and her body shuddered as his heavy arms came around her and brought her down to him.
She would have never resisted his attempt to enfold her in those arms. She sat on him and leaned her body on his. Her lips left his neck and gave three feathery kisses on his beard before capturing his lips in a sensual exploration that he reciprocated with fervour. Her fingers got twisted around both warrior braids keeping him there as her teeth clashed again his and that warmth...oh that warmth in the pit of her stomach simmered when his wide palms came flat on her back and pushed her on him demandingly. It took her several tries to decide to pull away from his enticing mouth.
"Did I wake you?"
He smiled softly and nodded. "Yes."
"I am sorry," her lip pouted even though she hardly felt any regret for doing that.
"You woke me up in the best way possible," his hand came up to trace her neck sending goosebumps to chase her skin.
She grinned at him. "No, I will never get used to your touch..."
He chuckled and pecked her softly. "I thought you were going to sleep with Rhiannon tonight," he whispered.
"She's so tired and still rather ill. I remained until she fell asleep. After that I wanted to come to you," her fingers played with the lapels of his tunic.
"Are you happy that you saw her again?" he inquired quietly.
She settled her head under his chin and supplied him with endless tender kisses on his clavicle. "I believed she was dead all these years. I'd never thought in my wildest dreams that she was still alive. Thank you for allowing her to stay."
"No question about that." He said quietly.
"Karunn almost killed her," suddenly Eilin's voice became angry and her fingers tightened around Thorin's muscular deltoids.
"That evil witch killed one soul and destroyed many others," his voice turned darker also.
"Have you talked to her?" Eilin asked and felt her skin crawling.
His hand squeezed her bicep letting her know that he was there. "Not yet."
"My wish has not changed. I want to confront her!" Eilin spat.
Thorin nodded thoughtfully. "You shall talk to her, but in my presence."
Eilin nodded angrily. "Of course. I'd never do it any other way!"
Both arms slithered around her thin frame and enclosed her to his chest. "Don't ruin your peace for that witch my dove. I want nothing to upset you." he spoke patiently.
Her body relaxed under his firm grip and she sighed. "You are right. I shouldn't let this get to me, but how easy is it Thorin? This woman destroyed us. I cannot remain calm when I know that she still remains unpunished."
"Trust in me Eilin. Her fate is in my hands." His voice was tinted with a terrifying shadow.
"Of course I trust you my love. I trust you with my life." She kissed his exposed upper chest where the dove tattoo was visible.
He settled down under her steady caress, until her voice made him reopen his eyes. "Thorin is this the famous Raven Crown?" she was looking apprehensively at the table.
"It is," he rejoined.
"Why is it here?" her voice sounded concerned.
"Because it belongs with the King." he said calmly.
A long silence ensued from her and he felt the tension returning to her body.
"Eilin?" he inquired and tried to look at her face.
She hid it onto his chest but he felt the hot tears on his skin.
He hissed and cupped her jawline pulling her head up to him. "Why are you crying my heart?" he frowned at her inexplicable distress.
She tried to wipe her tears, but they kept on coming. "I thought you chose me over the throne, what is this now? I knew it! I knew this was going to happen! I knew this place was going to draw you back in! I had no chance to win over the crown, did I?"
Thorin pulled back surprised. "I was given back the rule of Erebor and the rule of the seven Dwarven clans. I thought you'd be proud of me, not act so distraught. This stronghold has not drawn me back in. I am with you right now, aren't I?" He was truly unable to understand what had gotten into her all of a sudden.
"I am proud of you, but if you go back to ruling this stronghold the King is going to kill my Thorin!" she cried and tried to turn her face away from him.
His hand kept her still and nudged her. "Look at me."
She opened her bloodshot eyes and his heart stabbed him. "I was the one who told you to see the real me instead of the King, but Eilin what I didn't know back then was that the King and me are one and the same. I have to try and merge these two sides of me now. I don't carry the past on my shoulders anymore. Allow me to try, please."
She shook her head reluctantly. "I will lose you again, won't I?"
"How can you lose me? You've got every single ounce of my heart and soul..." he frowned.
A small bitter laugh escaped her and she wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "Do I? I can hardly believe it when I see that damned crown." She looked at it apprehensively.
He steepled his fingers through hers. "To be quite honest you don't have all of my heart and soul."
Her glare fell on him terrified.
A coy smile formed on his handsome lips. "Half of them are yours, the other half belong to our Little Gem," he whispered.
She gasped and fell on him, embracing his body firmly. "You said you'd solve this mess and then follow me anywhere I choose."
He enfolded her lovingly. "I did, yes."
"But you accepted the crown. You are King once more. How can you follow me to the place of my choice now?" she whispered.
He closed his eyes and felt his heart palpitating. "Eilin, I can lie and console you, but I won't do that. This is my fate."
"You promised to follow me..." she hissed and butted her forehead on his chin gently.
His jawline gritted. "So I did...but I am going to be honest with you. It's not that simple for me. It never was."
She paused and felt her heart clenching. "I could ask you the ultimate question. I could bring you against the inevitable and ask you if you would give up the throne again and ride away into the sunset with me."
"You could and it would break my heart in two if you ever did." His blunt honestly cut her like a dagger, but she appreciated it deeper than any half hearted apology.
She nodded. "I could ask for your answer to that pending question, right now."
He swallowed heavily. "And I would answer that nothing comes first, but you and my child Eilin."
She felt tears bordering her sad eyes. "This is tearing you apart isn't it?
He pressed his lips but kept his eyes steadily on her. "You and the child mean the world to me. Never doubt that." His rich voice tickled her spine.
"You'd follow me even if that meant that you had to break your promise to Erebor this time?" her finger touched the corner of his mouth gently.
"If you ever decided to place me in that merciless dilemma, doubt not that I would follow you and our Little Gem."
She looked up at his beautiful eyes that were so solemn and her heart broke into a dozen pieces. "And then you'd die..." she whispered.
His brows wavered with uncertainty. "What?"
"You'd die ...you'd wither and diminish until there was nothing left from you. If I force you to live like a blacksmith next to me in the serene Shire you'd finally vanish wouldn't you?" her eyes overflowed with tears.
His hand cupped her cheek affectionately. "My sweet Eilin."
She shook her head. "You'd shrink and fold into yourself until you'd be no more...if I kill the warrior in you, you will die..." the eyes of her mind envisioned his image at a derelict forge outside their small house, with his hair grey and his face dishevelled as she was yelling at him from the kitchen window with a crying child balancing on her hips. Her skin shuddered at the image. If she took him away from Erebor and his true fate, she'd slowly kill him and that would eventually kill her.
"I want you to be well and happy. Nothing else matters." he rejoined steadily.
She pushed him back with her palm and straddled him. She then cupped his cheeks and leaned down to him with a decisive frown. "I could ask you all these questions, but that would be unfair of me. I'd like to have you all to myself, but that will never happen, will it? I shall always have to share you with Erebor. This isn't about you breaking a promise to me, but more about me settling down with the knowledge that only a part of you will be mine. What remains will belong to your legacy. I didn't fall in love with a sword smith but with a mighty king and I need to expel all my fears and insecurities in order to be by your side, don't I?"
Thorin's eyes smiled. "You do and I know it's not easy for you."
She shook her head. "I never had a home Thorin. I don't see Erebor as my home yet and the fear of losing you to it had always been sizzling in my mind. I always secretly hoped that I could steal you away from this place and we could make a small home for ourselves in some remote area of Middle Earth. Get enfolded into our love and raise our children away from any demanding situations. I didn't find the proper person to do that with, did I?"
He frowned and cleared some tendrils from her temple. "I can try to get lost with you..."
She scowled with determination. "You would never get truly lost. Middle Earth cannot forget you. Your spirit would eventually fade away and I don't ever want to see you defeated... never." Her eyes teared up.
His reciprocated and cupped her cheek. "My beloved..."
"How could I have ever believed that it would be easy to stand next to a mighty King?" she whispered with a sweet smile.
He smiled too. "It is not. It needs you to become fearless."
She sighed and her eyes ate his face up in deep recollection.
"Do you regret this?" his brow creased.
She shook her head slowly. "No...Now it is my time to be fearless and brave."
A small smile of uncertainty flared on his mouth. She reached back and took the Raven Crown in her small hands. She was surprised by its weight that was both figurative and literal. She then gazed back at his worried eyes for a few silent moments. When she leaned down and placed it upon his head, those eyes released the tears that had been pooling there all this time. Her thumb reached up and cleared them from his cheek. "You look absolutely stunning right now. Gorgeous...simply gorgeous. The most handsome King of Middle Earth."
His hands squeezed her hips lovingly and his eyes seared into hers. "Thank you my heart." There was only one person who could have placed the Crown onto his head without him causing a fuss, and when she did he got ready to feel the fear he had felt before the Battle of the Five Armies. Yet, with her on top of him and her face swimming so close to his, he didn't feel anything more than utter gratification and her ultimate love shrouding him with a warmth that echoed into his soul.
She smiled and leaned onto his chest until their noses were touching. "Do you swear that the ghosts of your past won't steal you away from me again when you step on that throne?"
"Nothing can steal me away from you and our baby Eilin." his voice reverberated solemn through her spine and she shivered.
Her eyes fell on him eager to believe his words, but she remained silent.
"I promise!" He frowned and his thumb traced her bottom lip.
She shook her head, "don't...don't promise me please..."
He gritted his teeth and drew her face up until his mouth could seduce hers with a kiss that spread all her fears and uncertainties thin. Only when he felt her body relaxing above him and her breath quickening did he pull back. His eyes burned through her with all the sincerity he felt in his heart. "I promise, do you hear me?"
She nodded feeling dazed, but thoroughly reassured. "I do..."
"I promise..." he repeated more quietly. "I am not afraid to promise anymore Eilin, even though it might seem that my final promise was just broken today."
A bright smile formed on her lips. "Is it okay if I am a little bit afraid?"
He caressed her bottom lip with his thumb. "No, because I am afraid also."
"The mighty Oakenshield is afraid?" she raised her brows.
"Yes...for now there is something in Middle Earth that I value more than life. You and our child and I don't want to lose you." His brow wrinkled with worry.
"I love you..." she whispered and looked at his mouth transfixed.
"I love you more than anyone else in the world..." he spoke with a hushed tone.
"More than anyone?" she teased.
"Apart from our Little Gem," he murmured and looked at her well kissed lips intensely.
"We love you too," she whispered and his eyes teared up. She didn't allow him the chance to become emotional. When her arms enfolded behind his neck and she leaned down to kiss him thoroughly, he allowed her time and the pace that she needed in order to weave her magic around him. When finally she pulled away, his cheeks were a crimson red that fitted his azure eyes so perfectly. He pulled her head under his chin and his fingers burrowed into her thick mane caressing her softly. Then he began singing in a deep low tone that raised Eilin's hair in complete attention and waves of goosebumps chased her skin as she wrapped herself around him in complete rapture.
"Under the Mountain dark and tall
The King has come unto his hall!
His foe is dead, the Worm of Dread,
And ever so his foes shall fall.
The sword is sharp, the spear is long,
The arrow swift, the Gate is strong;
The heart is bold that looks on gold;
The dwarves no more shall suffer wrong.
The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,
While hammers fell like ringing bells
In places deep, where dark things sleep,
In hollow halls beneath the fells.
On silver necklaces they strung
The light of stars, on crowns they hung
The dragon-fire, from twisted wire
The melody of harps they wrung.
The mountain throne once more is freed!
O! wandering folk, the summons heed!
Come haste! Come haste! across the waste!
The king of friend and kin has need.
Now call we over mountains cold,
'Come back unto the caverns old'!
Here at the Gates the king awaits,
His hands are rich with gems and gold.
The king is come unto his hall
Under the Mountain dark and tall.
The Worm of Dread is slain and dead,
And ever so our foes shall fall!"
He sang it again and again, with a softer tone each time, the depth of which synchronised with Eilin's very soul, until her hands fell limp onto his sides and her legs hang lifeless. When he felt her breath heavily steady, he stopped singing and picked her up. He placed her onto the bed and took a religiously long time to undress her completely as gently as possible as not to awaken her. Then he took off his crown and placed it around Kili's pot.
"Rest well," he whispered both at her and at his baby.
-.-
When he closed the door of his room he already knew where he was going to spend his night and it was not going to be next to Eilin, no matter how much he wanted it. He made his way silently, but resolutely through the King's Halls and the main entrance listening inattentively to all the guards presenting arms for him, but his mind was already twisting and turning as it tried to dig up information he knew was there since his young days as a prince, when he was studying intensely the Elder Scrolls and their laws. His mind with each deliberate step was digging up another piece of knowledge that he tried to weave into a protective shield that would prove watertight for his family, himself as a ruler and his kingdom when the time would come to give answers.
He shed the calm and careless Thorin of the Shire easily and gave his place to the King whose mind was able to switch into overdrive upon command. He made his way quickly down to the grand library where every Elder Scroll had been religiously hidden away from the prying eyes of the commoners for thousands of years. It was where the handwriting of Durin himself had imprinted these holy pages with it's immense legacy and Thorin had spent years of his life studying every word in them. He thought he remembered little of that painfully instilled knowledge, until the need arose for him to recall pieces of it. Then his mind proved that it was ready to deliver flawlessly. It was the hand of Dwalin that stopped him as he swept in front of the grand dining hall truly oblivious of his surroundings.
"Did you decide to come?" Dwalin's face was untroubled, Thorin's wasn't.
"What?" he stopped abruptly and tried to bring himself back to this reality and away from the Elder Scrolls.
"The feast, didn't Balin tell you?" Dwalin pointed at the dining cavern where music was playing and several happy voices were discussing and laughing out loud.
"No...no." Thorin shook his head and tried to resume his walk, but Balin made his appearance also.
"Did you decide to come laddie? I am so happy. This feast was for you!" Balin beamed.
Thorin's eyes penetrated his old's advisors broodily for a few silent moments before he spoke. "Give your mug to Dwalin and follow me."
Balin frowned. "What?"
Thorin raised his brow. "Your mug to Dwalin."
Balin gave it to his perplexed brother.
"Now follow me," Thorin commanded and resumed his course. Balin fell behind him without the need to question his King's decisions. Only when he saw the heavy sealed doors of the ancient library did he pause a few feet behind Thorin.
"You haven't visited this place since you were a young prince," Balin muttered and looked in awe at the huge doors.
Thorin took hold of the impossibly heavy wooden plank that was sealing the doors and tried to move it with no real success. Its weight and the ages that had left it untouched, created an invisible seal between the door and the plank, making it impossible to move. Thorin grabbed it again with more determination and pushed up, but it didn't budge. Balin moved quickly at the other side and tried to help him. "I don't think the two of us alone can move it. Its been sealed for thousands of years. Let me go and ask Dwalin for help. He can bring a dozen men down and we can all try then."
Thorin exhaled through his nose a whole bout of irritation. "Move back!" he snapped at Balin.
His advisor frowned. "Why?"
"Move back!" Thorin grumbled and Balin did so a mere moment before Thorin's formidable boot fell onto the side of the wooden plank with such ferocity that it broke free releasing a cascade of dust and debris on the floor. Thorin grabbed the massive plank with his arms and lifted it up. Before Balin could even try to assist him, he discarded it to the side. When it crashed onto the stone floor Balin jerked upright and grasped his chest.
"Are you trying to kill yourself by lifting such a weight? Your wound is still healing internally you know!"
Thorin ignored him totally as he pushed the doors open and averted his eyes when the closeted air of millenia exhaled on their faces.
Balin covered his mouth and nose and entered after Thorin. "Or are you trying to kill me either by a heart attack or by forcing me to breathe all this dust? What the hell are we doing here, tell me!"
Thorin kept ignoring him as he moved through the tall shelves that reached up to the top of the cavern and carried in them the Elders Scrolls and Laws in huge leather bound books. Balin tried to strike some brimstone in order to light up the torches at the wall and several candles on the desks, hoping they wouldn't crumble to dust under his fingers.
Thorin remembered the smell of this old library so well. It woke up the memories of his youth as half of it had gone by with him buried between the pages of one of these massive books. He moved deliberately through the racks and picked up book after book. Then he returned and emptied them carelessly with a loud thump that awoke clouds of time-honoured dust. Balin followed him and upon seeing that his friend was not answering any of his prickly comments about being buried into this tomb instead of enjoying a drink with his friend, he helped Thorin carry all these books to the empty desks that soon became full to the brim. Thorin reached out and stole Balin's reading glasses and began opening up the leather bound books. Soon enough he was engulfed by his studying and it was Balin's voice that made him look up after several silent moments.
"What are you doing laddie? Please tell me," Balin leaned his hand on the table and tried to look above Thorin's shoulder at the ancient runes of the Elders that very few people could read now in Middle Earth.
"I am preparing..." Thorin said thoughtfully.
"Whatever for?" Balin scowled.
"For every possibility..." Thorin whispered and soon was drawn deep into the written pages again. A task that pulled him down a rabbits hole that he wouldn't be able to get out of until the next morning.
Balin tried to draw Thorin's attention again, but failed. He asked if he wanted something to eat or drink, but got no reply. Only Thorin's silent command for Balin to take up a clean scroll and some quill in order to write down anything that the King was pointing from those books.
Balin understood very little of what was going on.
Thorin understood too much as the deep concentration he remembered so well from his youth tripped him over and away from reality again. Each book sent him searching in another one and then in another one as he tried to desperately find a piece of information that could prove truly valuable soon in his showdown with the Ironhills and Karunn's family.
An ancient abstruse exception to a rule.
A/N:
-Song for The King Under the Mountain - Songs and tales from J.R.R. Tolkien's work.
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