..

Woo! I'm baaack!

This super long and righteous chapter took me a couple weeks to fully write.

I won't say anything except a necessary advisory

that this chapter is rated M and to skip between indicated breaks if you aren't interested.

I guess I already spoiled it...maybe.

;D

Verlust

Hiccup paused a moment before ascending the stairs into the attic. He knew that Toothless was not himself, but he couldn't stop himself from wanting to talk to him. He stepped onto the creaky wooden boards until he emerged in Toothless's makeshift bedroom. Ever since he had moved himself up there over a month ago, he had made little attempt at making it more comfortable. The walls were still their original plaster color and the only furniture that adorned the space was his small bed and a desk with a lamp, behind which he currently sat working on his computers. However the minute Hiccup poked his head above the stairwell, he saw the raven-haired boy's eyes flicker over to him.

The two didn't say anything for a long minute, but merely watched each other. Luka's hair was messily tied back, some loose strands hanging by his face, and he had some shadow under his eyes, clearly having had stayed up unusually long. Hiccup didn't really know what to say to him, he wasn't entirely certain the reason for which he had come up here in the first place…

Fortunately, Luka filled the silence first. "I never expected to see you visiting me," he said in a low rumble as he leaned back in his wooden chair scrutinizing the auburn-haired boy.

"Benedikt told me not to come," Hiccup answered, knowing that it had been quite some time since he had spoken with Toothless's alter. Both Jack and Benedikt had put a lot of effort to keep the two apart, for what reason Hiccup wasn't entirely certain…

"And why's that?" Luka asked curiously while raising an eyebrow.

"Because you're not Toothless," Hiccup answered honestly, keeping his original distance by the staircase. He wasn't afraid of alter-Luka, but he couldn't deny that he was wary of him. Hiccup didn't really know what to expect out of him.

Luka snorted before returning his focus to his laptop and saying, "Well, Benedikt has always had trouble accepting reality."

Hiccup licked his dry lips before asking slowly, "What do you mean?"

Luka's fingers clattered across his keyboard for a moment, before he carefully shut the device and leaned back in his chair again. "Benedikt expected that we'd move back home and things would go back to how they used to be… It shouldn't surprise him that things are different. That we can't undo what has already been done."

Hiccup remained still as he listened to Luka, and after he finished his thought, Hiccup let the silence settle for a moment as he tried to determine whether he could trust what Luka said. However, he needed him to be specific first.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "I don't really understand…"

Luka sighed softly, not sounding annoyed, just tired. "I am Luka," he emphasized. "Toothless and myself…we aren't two different people like Benedikt keeps trying to make it seem…He just can't accept this part of us.

Hiccup understood what he was saying; however, he noticed that Luka still spoke as though Toothless and he were two different people… Hiccup didn't try to pretend he understood Luka's illness. But he wanted Luka to explain it to him…

"Why do you insist on being called Luka and not Toothless then?" he asked while taking a few steps forward and crossing his arms defensively.

"Because," Luka answered almost immediately, "Toothless is a name Benedikt gave him when they were kids. And then he used it again after moving into the Guardians… I have almost no memories of either of those times."

Hiccup's eyes widened a little in understanding. That meant that Luka's alter only remembered living with Pitch…

"How do you know who I am, then?" Hiccup asked more pointedly.

"I said almost no memories," he clarified, his face expressionless. "Toothless knows you, and I know Toothless. I know you're important to him, I just don't recall the specifics."

"So you don't…you don't have feelings for me then," Hiccup stated more than asked, the words leaving a bitter taste in his own mouth. How could Luka's alter have feelings for him if he couldn't remember what they had shared together? The thought was unsettling, since to the eye, Hiccup was looking at the raven-haired boy he had fallen hard and fast for, and yet, the familiar green eyes that looked back at him were cold and unrecognizable.

Luka tilted his head slightly and continued to watch Hiccup, almost as if he were observing his thoughts. Hiccup swore he saw a glint in his eye and a small smirk appear before he asked in a low rumble, "Would that bother you?"

Hiccup wasn't sure how to answer. It didn't entirely surprise Hiccup that Luka's alter was still able to read him, despite how intrusive it felt when as he did so. However, it did raise other questions that Hiccup had previously thought he had sorted out.

"What motivated you to save me then?" he asked, and holding his voice steady added, "That night with Caesar." He avoided remembering that day, as it had brought on an avalanche of repercussions that Hiccup preferred not to dwell on. But bringing it up now, to the only other witness to his abduction, Hiccup felt uncomfortable showing that vulnerability in front of someone who admittedly was almost a stranger to him. But he needed to know what had motivated Luka to risk his life in the first place if it wasn't out of love.

"Because I know you're important to Luka," he answered simply.

There he went again, casually swapping the two names as if their identities didn't matter. Hiccup sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He was realizing that Luka's alter wouldn't give him a straight answer without asking the right questions.

"But what separates you from Toothless?" he asked in a new attempt, dropping his hand and crossing his arms again.

At that, Luka grinned and he stood up gracefully from his chair and leaned over the side of his desk. "Unlike Toothless," he stated, "I get shit done…" His smirk grew more exaggerated as he held Hic's gaze before adding, "And I'll do whatever it takes to get what I want," he breathed holding his smirk before straightening back up.

As soon as Luka had stood up and walked closer, Hiccup felt the full effect of his eyes on him, making Hiccup feel exposed. But there remained no mistake that Luka was being completely serious. However, it frightened Hiccup to think of the extent of his resolve.

"So you would have killed Caesar if Benedikt hadn't shown up," Hiccup declared again.

Luka hesitated, watching Hiccup with amusement before answering, "Caesar was irreplaceable to my father. And he knew that I knew that. But if it came down between choosing you or Caesar, I would have chosen you… And he knew that…which was why he backed down."

So it turned out more complicated than Hiccup had originally thought. The two had actually logically come to terms with how that situation would have turned out no matter what actions they took. Luka had gambled on Hiccup's life using the best odds he had.

"Is there anything else you wanted to ask?" Luka asked, still watching Hiccup in candid amusement.

Was there? Hiccup thought he had a million questions to ask the alter, but all of a sudden he found himself forgetting them. He didn't even know when he would get this opportunity again…

"Can I call you something else other than Luka?" he asked in an attempt at settling his uncertainty with the raven-haired boy's identities.

Luka's eyes flashed to the right as he considered Hiccup's request. After a few seconds, he returned his attention to Hiccup and answered, "You can call me L, if that helps you."

"L?" Hiccup asked confused at the random initial, but shrugged it off and accepted his demands.

"How can I get Toothless back?" he asked then.

L shrugged a little and at first Hiccup thought he wasn't going to respond, but to Hic's surprise, L answered. "Benedikt normally brings up a story from our childhood. It's usually enough to wake Toothless up."

Was that because L didn't remember their…his childhood? Gods…it was all still so hard for Hiccup to wrap his mind around.

L seemed to notice Hiccup's hesitation and asked, "Well? What are you waiting for?"

"What will happen to you?" Hiccup asked with slight concern.

L smiled in response to Hiccup's interest and responded, "Same thing that happens to you when you go to sleep. You sometimes dream…but time seems to have passed in an instant once you wake up."

Hiccup didn't think he would every truly understand what was happening in Toothless's mind; however, a couple questions had been answered for him. L wasn't innately dangerous, he only acted out of necessity. And…Hiccup would probably never know for sure, and he doubted if L or Toothless even knew, but it couldn't be pure coincidence that L only knew memories from their life while living with Pitch. Maybe it was a coping mechanism like Toothless's doctor suggested, but then again, Hiccup couldn't understand why L had all of the memories, but none of the trauma. All of that seemed to have still been burdened onto Toothless.

"What are you waiting for?" L asked again, pulling Hiccup out from his thoughts.

Hiccup considered for a moment, but then changed his mind. "I'll just let you get back to what you were doing," he said simply, turning and grabbing hold of the railing to descend from the attic.

He heard L snort as he left, from what thought Hiccup had no idea. He hoped that he had stayed on L's good side, and…he couldn't deny that a part of him hoped that L would remember or feel the same emotions for him that Toothless did. It was honestly a frightening experience for him…to look into the beautiful face he had grown to love and having to accept that it wasn't the same person. That those vibrant eyes could look back and him and hold such emptiness. It stung. It only intensified the ache that Hiccup had felt ever since Jack left. Even with Toothless upstairs, Hic hadn't felt so alone in a long time. He thought that by going upstairs and confronting Toothless's alter…maybe they'd relate better or something. But no, it only made Hiccup ache for what he had with Toothless and Jack even more.

After reaching his bedroom, he lay on his bed and pulled out his cellphone before thumbing through his messages and updates. Nothing from Jack. Of course. It was like he had fallen off the grid. Hiccup had no doubt that Jack was obviously staying with someone else. Even Jack's pride wouldn't go so far as to make him homeless.

But he still had to be going to school, right? Hiccup glanced out their bedroom window, seeing the dimming golden-orange glow from the remnants of the setting sun. Someone should still be at the institute…perhaps they'd know what happened to him.

…

…

Jack sat at the pinewood table bent over the practice test, which he had been concentrating on for the last hour. His back had started to feel stiff from uncomfortable position he was in and his elbow hurt from digging into the table and having been supporting the wait of his head during it all. But none of that bothered him as he was focusing all of his energy on finishing the practice exam in the sixty minutes allotted.

Ringdingring! Ringdingring!

The timer on his phone went off and he sighed as he slumped back in the plastic chair exhausted. His exam was tomorrow and he couldn't have felt less excited or prepared for it. This was the first practice test he had taken and he couldn't even finish it in time, let alone feel as though he had the right answers. But he didn't have the choice to fail…

Ever since Lucy had gotten pregnant, he had promised himself that he would take the damn exam and start taking university classes so he could eventually enter into the nursing program. It was something he had considered casually, but now that his future seemed to be rushing up with impending urgency, he was bound and determined to make it happen. He knew he wasn't good enough to become a doctor, but with Lucy's help he could test into the nursing program.

But how could he do any of that if he couldn't even pass the damn language test after taking classes for a year and living in the goddamn country where it was spoken all the fucking time? If he couldn't do this…he'd have to settle for some shit job instead of moving on to higher education. And then he wouldn't be able to support his family…

It still sounded weird whenever he thought of it, but it was a good-kind of weird. He never expected himself to be in this kind of situation, but he was going to deal with it. He had always wanted kids. He loved being with Anna's siblings, and they did give him a sense of family, but he wanted a family of his own. To be in love and raise their child together. Did he love Lucy? No, he wouldn't say that…could he though? Maybe…he couldn't answer that. He definitely liked her and they complimented one another really well…well, they did before she found out she was pregnant. After that, she was too wrapped up in her own situation to focus on their relationship, which Jack did understand. She was worried. He was worried too. But he did wish that they could at least be worried about it together…

He was staring so intently at his practice test that he didn't even notice someone approaching the door to his study room, but his attention perked up once he heard it open.

He turned his head to see Hiccup walk in and gently shut the door behind him.

What the hell was he doing here?

Jack waited for Hiccup to announce some form of greeting since he had been the one to invade Jack's space in the first place. But he did nothing except lean against the door with his hand in his pockets.

"What are you doing here?" Jack finally asked as he stood up to face the brunette, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice. He was already frustrated with having had done a test for an hour, and knowing he did horribly on it. Now his ex was here and Jack could only imagine the scenarios that led Hiccup to spontaneously seek him out.

"Came to find you," Hiccup answered as if that weren't obvious.

"How did you find me?" Jack asked as he crossed his arms defensively. This wasn't exactly his usual hang-out spot. The institute had a small library and there normally wasn't even anyone in it after classes had let out.

Hiccup shrugged and answered monotonously, "I just called the front desk and asked if you had come in today. She said you were still here."

"Hm…" Jack grunted and leaned on one leg looking off to the left of Hiccup. Apparently the auburn-haired boy wasn't going to just come out and say what he wanted. He probably was waiting to see if Jack would break first and beg him to come back. That just knowing Hic sought him out completely on his own would have been enough to break his resolve…

"What do you want?" Jack asked the third obvious question of the night.

Hic still didn't answer, instead he stood and stared at Jack intensely. Jack noticed his lips were tense and he was breathing a little faster than normal, his chest rising and falling with each breath. Jack noticed he was wearing the brown zip-up hoodie he had given him for his last birthday. Jack had liked it because it was lined with taupe colored faux fur and hugged his torso really nicely…

Finally, Hic came out with it. "I wanted to say I'm sorry," he said in a rush.

Jack stopped staring at Hic's chest and focused his eyes into Hic's hazel orbs. The auburn-haired boy's expression had softened considerably and his eyes emitted a sadness. He was being honest…

"I'm sorry for being jerk," he continued, taking his hands out of his pockets and approaching Jack holding his arms at his sides, palms forward. "I'm sorry for…for blaming you for everything before knowing the whole story. You didn't deserve it and…and…" he paused, biting his lip as his eyes glossed over slightly, "I miss you, ok? Toothless shuts himself away most of the time and Benedikt's never really talked to me. I…don't want things to be this way anymore. I came to ask you to come home," he finished before finally taking a breath.

Jack didn't know what to say to him. He stood mesmerized by Hic's eyes as they silently pleaded for forgiveness. Jack had hardened his heart enough to prevent him from crawling back, but he couldn't lie to himself and say that he hadn't wished that Hiccup would come and apologize exactly as he just did. Ask him to come back… Say he was on Jack's side… But Jack had since made new promises.

"Hic…" he started before dropping off, "I ca-"

Before Jack could finish his sentence, he saw Hic lean forward and felt his strong hands against the sides of his head, encapsulating his face, before feeling his lips pressing against his. Jack forgot his words and inhaled into the brunette, his scent overpowering all other thoughts and causing his skin to erupt in goose-bumps. The kiss was passionate, but not lustful. Jack could feel all of Hic's regret and heartache from that single contact. It was the only contact they had shared in…Jack couldn't even remember how long. Months. But even that length of time couldn't stop the swarm of memories that engulfed Jack's mind. Of all the moments they had shared. Of the many times they had…

Hiccup pulled back slightly, but Jack wasn't about to let him end it there. He crushed his lips back into the auburn-haired boy and firmly held the back of his head, the other hand weaving itself into his hair. His heart was racing and a faint thought fluttered in the back of his mind telling him not to, but he didn't even care. He had wanted this for too long.

A second later a grunt rolled over Jack's lips as his back hit the back of the study room's door. Jack was pinned by Hiccup's hard and lean body and he wouldn't have had it any other way at the moment. The room went dark quickly after that as Hiccup had hit the light switch so that he could give them a sense of privacy, despite the library being empty. Hiccup crushed his lips back into Jack and they shared a messy and sloppy kiss, their tongues sliding together as their wet lips made soft smacking sounds that flawlessly mingled with their unrestrained gasps of pleasure.

Jack hadn't felt so overwhelmed with passion and need since they had first arrived in Germany and reunited with Toothless. He didn't expect this to happen, but he wasn't about to stop it either. He clumsily made out with Hic and let Hic slide his hands underneath his shirt and explore his torso, letting him softly scratch his blunt fingernails across his pale skin. Hic pressed his hips into Jack's and Jack had to swallow a euphoric cry as he relished in being completely dominated by the auburn-haired boy. Normally he would fight Hic for dominance, but this time he was willing to give in to him completely. Hic's lips moved down to suck and lick at Jack's neck as his hands wandered up under Jack's shirt to pinch and roll his nipples between his fingers, eliciting a series of gasps from Jack followed by him arching his back away from the door and letting his head fall back to give Hic easier access to his neck. Hic moved up Jack's neck to suck at a spot next to his Adam's apple as he ran his thumbs over to flick the white-haired boy's nipples some more. Little shocks of pleasure burst through Jack's body and he knew that he should have said something about the love-bite, but he couldn't. He was so overwhelmed with Hic's seductive act to give a damn about the dark mark on his throat. Hic slowly ground himself into Jack and continued flicking his thumbs across his nipples and Jack had to try so hard not to moan, instead, little whimpers spilled from his lips as Hic continued to trail kisses down the column of his throat.

The teasing act was becoming too much for him, but Jack wouldn't resort himself to begging. Normally he would have, but his pride was still too great to break down now. He was hard-set to deal with Hic's nerve-wracking teasing in silence. He writhed and ground himself against Hic, trying to do anything that would create more friction between their bodies. He heard Hic give a quiet, but triumphant snort against his collarbone before feeling him move down and push Jack's shirt up entirely and sealing his lips around one of Jack's hard, peaked nipples.

A choked moan bounced off the walls and Jack's entire body trembled with lust and pleasure. His body started to tremble uncontrollably. He wanted more, but he was still relishing in the exquisite torture Hic's teasing was putting him through. He felt Hic's tongue flick his already abused nipple, sending a shockwave through his stomach, before moving over and flicking the other begging peak. Jack was overcome with so much lust that he thought his legs were going to give out. It wasn't the first time that Hic had made him finish by simply playing with his nipples. Jack hated it, but at this point he would take whatever he could get. But then he felt as Hic's kisses trailed lower and lower down his stomach as Hic quietly fell to his knees in front of Jack. His lips stopped in front of Jack's belly button, and Jack felt another wave of heated pleasure course through his body as he knew exactly what Hic was planning to do.

But Hic stayed still for a moment, his breath slowly tickling a trail down Jack's skin.

"Nnngh, Hic," Jack finally groaned as he ran his fingers through the brunette's hair. He felt Hic's tongue dip into his navel before looking up and Jack could barely make out the glint in Hic's lust-filled eyes as he gazed up at him in the dim room. Jack groaned again and his head fell back against the small glass window of the door with a soft thump, his frustration and anticipation growing, but yet, he wouldn't allow himself to beg. He wouldn't. No matter what torture Hic put him through.

A hand slid up Jack's thigh and he felt small nips pull at the fabric covering his bulge. He yearned for his ex-lover, more now than he possibly ever had, then he looked down to see Hic grip the zipper between his teeth. He made a tantalizing show of pulling the zipper down as his hands continued rubbing and clutching Jack's shaking legs.

"Oh my god," Jack breathed as he felt strong hands snake under the waistband of his pants. The lust churned in his belly from how seductive the auburn-haired boy was. No matter how many times they had had sex, he always managed to do something to take Jack's breath away. Then with one smooth, but prolonged motion, Jack's pants and underwear were pulled down and opened, revealing himself entirely to brunette.

SKIP

But now he had to put up with watching Hic gaze at Jack's anatomy, his erection standing proud and tall, only centimeters away from the brunette's face. Hic licked and rubbed his lips together at the prospect, restraining himself from touching it, but letting his thumbs rub along the lines of Jack's thighs.

Jack groaned in annoyance while rocking his hips forward slightly as he leaned against the door to silently ask Hic for more. But the brunette seemed perfectly complacent in letting Jack suffer as the wait seemed to go on forever, but as soon as the tip of Hic's tongue teased Jack's slit, the world blurred. He bit his bottom lip as he thrust into that unbelievably hot mouth that closed over his shaft, swallowing him down all the way to the base. Jack's raw and carnal instinct took over as he thrust again and again, slowly but firmly fucking Hic's mouth, the brunette seemingly utterly content with letting him do it, his strong hands gripping firmly onto Jack's hips as he allowed him to thrust into his mouth. Jack was panting and on the fast-track to losing his mind. Stifled moans filled the small room as Jack was bathed in the irresistible pleasure of Hic's mouth. Jack closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the door again as he continued to pulse his hips forward. Then he felt as Hic's hand slid up the length of his chest to pinch and roll his nipple between his fingers again as he groaned in his own pleasure of finally being able to touch his lover's cock. His humming sent vibrations down Jack's spine and the combination of Hic's hot and wet mouth with his fingers teasing his nipple was too much for Jack.

A particularly loud moan filled the room as Jack's orgasm hit him hard. He thrust himself down Hic's throat and exhaled deeply as he rode it out, feeling as Hic swallowed everything earnestly. The brunette let Jack's cock slip from his mouth with one last suck before looking up into the white-haired boy's pale blue orbs. Jack's breathing was labored and deep, but he didn't feel satiated just yet.

"Let's fuck," he gasped out of breath, not breaking eye contact with the auburn-haired boy.

Hic stood up before leaning in to lazily make out with Jack, his tongue teasingly trailing against Jack's lips, before he moved on to nibble at Jack's earlobe, still refusing to answer him. He pressed his body back into Jack, and Jack could feel how hard he was. Knowing how turned on Hic was, Jack doubted his silence was from disinterest. Jack knew they were technically in public…but they were in a private room and were the only ones in the library…

Then he felt Hic's breath in his ear as he whispered disappointingly, "I don't have anything for lube…" before nibbling up the shell of Jack's ear.

Jack shuddered from feeling Hiccup's breath in his ear, but gently pushed him away before bending to the side and rummaging in his backpack. He reached into a side pocket and pulled out a small container of petroleum jelly, obviously just a travel size meant for chapped lips or dry skin, but it would be enough to keep it from being uncomfortable.

He handed the small jar to Hiccup, who examined it briefly before wrapping his arm around the small of Jack's back and pulling him back against him to kiss him with renewed passion. Jack relaxed into the auburn-haired boy's arms and let his scent cloud his mind again. After not having Hic for months and months, he could hardly just walk away, not when Hic was this seductively lustful. When Hic was in this mood, Jack would give him anything he wanted.

The sweet, loving kiss only lasted a minute before Hic spun Jack around and bent him over the table in front of them. Jack heard Hic hastily fumble with his belt before feeling the auburn-haired boy press against his backside, his hot and hard arousal quickly renewing Jack's lust and making him shiver. It had been so long but he wanted to be fucked by him. He wanted to be filled and completely at the brunette's mercy.

He felt Hic's bodyweight leaning on top of him as he rubbed his cock against his ass. A moment later, the brunette's breath fell heavily on Jack's ears as he heard his voice rumble, "You really want me to fuck you?" The teasing lull to his tone was enough to anger Jack a little and he refused to answer, despite what he had already said.

Hic presented his fingers near Jack's mouth, who decided to give him his answer by seductively drawing them into his mouth, sucking and licking at them with as much passion as Hic had just done to his cock. That answer seemed to satisfy Hic enough, as he pulled back, spread Jack's cheeks before spitting a load of saliva onto his ass, obviously saving the lube for when they really needed it.

Jack gasped as Hic inserted a couple fingers and started to move and work him open, bit by bit. Jack groaned, he hadn't felt that pleasurable stinging in such a long time and he knew how easily Hic could find his…

A moan ripped through him as he felt Hic's fingers brush teasingly against his prostate. He continued thrusting his fingers into him, loosening him up more and more, while Jack disappeared into a haze of renowned lust and need. With every little brush Hic left across his prostate, Jack could feel his pride crumble down.

"Fuck me," he breathed hotly into his arm while tilting his head to look back at the auburn-haired boy, who groaned softly in agreement. He reached over to dip his fingers into the jar and proceeded to spread the lube along the length of his erection before reaching to rub the rest inside of Jack, who groaned loudly into his arm.

"Hnnngh, fuck me Hic!" he growled and Hiccup pulled his fingers out of Jack and gripped his hips tightly. Just when Jack barely expected it, he felt Hic drove forward hard, slamming into his body and filling him completely. A loud cry of arousal broke free from Jack's throat and the wash of pure bliss crashed over him mixed with the long-desired stinging of being filled and stretched by the auburn-haired boy again. Hic bent over Jack, kissing his shoulder blade affectionately as he gave him a few minutes to adjust to his girth. This was the roughest he had ever been with him, partly due to the frustration of having sex withheld for many months and how strained their relationship was. But no matter how he was feeling, Hic would always make sure Jack was relaxed.

He pulled back halfway, feeling Jack's legs tighten as he did so, before forcing his hips forward again.

"Nnnph, Jack," Hic moaned as he gave a couple short, hard thrusts, changing the angle as he plunged in deep again, nailing Jack's prostate dead-on.

"Aaahn, fuck, Hic!" Jack muffled his scream into his arm as he arched his back and raised a knee onto the chair next to him, stretching his jeans out between his legs. Jack raised his ass higher to get Hic to do that again. With every thrust, Jack lost his senses and it took every ounce of will power to prevent his knees from buckling as immense pleasure was wrecking his body. He leaned all his weight on the table and felt his body burn with heat as he felt Hic's nails claw down his back. The way Hic was moving inside of him was absolutely perfect, power and force but without hurting him. I was agonizing pleasure that took Jack to the edge without making him fall over it, content that this passionate moment carried on and on and on.

Hic snaked an arm under Jack's hips and pumped his cock into his falling thrusts to finally allow Jack to cum. Loud cries of arousal filled the room as Jack's sticky release filled Hiccup's hand, and Jack's orgasm was enough to make Hic shudder when his own release hit him hard. Hic's heated groans of pleasure soon followed as he held Jack's hips up and rode out his own orgasm, filling the white-haired boy to the brim.

The two relaxed but didn't move for a moment, Jack still bent over the table and panting on his forearms while Hiccup stood behind him resting a hand on Jack's back and holding his hips, before pulling out. Jack stopped the soft whimper that would have left his throat at the feeling of loss. He hadn't realized how much his body had missed the auburn-haired boy. But despite his regret, Jack straightened up and pulled up his pants to redress himself before reaching down to gather his books and shove them into his bag.

RESUME

"Jack?" Hic asked and Jack could hear the sadness in his voice, knowing that Jack had no intention to go with him.

Jack turned his head to glance at the brunette, and sure enough, his expression was forlorn as he watched Jack silently gather his things, pretending as though they hadn't shared anything together just a moment before.

"I've got a big exam tomorrow," Jack muttered while breaking eye contact with the auburn-haired boy and slinging his bag over his shoulder. " and I have to make sure I do well," he added, pausing for a moment before turning and leaving Hiccup without another word or gesture.

He walked out of the library and past the front desk with the young intern, Julia, still sitting at it. She didn't say good-bye to Jack like she usually had, but instead eyed him as he walked across the hall and out the door. Jack really hoped she hadn't heard them and instead was just mad he had made her stay so late…

…

…

A little more than a week had passed since Hiccup had had that encounter with Jack at the institute. He hadn't seen nor hear a single word from him within that span of time, which had been excruciatingly hard on him as he had honestly thought Jack was going to stop being stubborn and finally come home with him. But he didn't. Instead he had left Hic with a memory that made him insanely turned on whenever he thought about it. And it wasn't like Toothless was going to screw him, the raven-haired boy had been nothing short of a saint lately…

Hiccup sighed and stirred the marinara sauce he had going on the stove. It was his own recipe, well, one he had inherited from Bunny and later modified. But still, if there was one thing he was thankful to the Australian for, it was for teaching him how to cook.

The thought of his life at the Guardians suddenly brought on a wash of homesickness. He missed people. He missed having friends and that feeling of family he had while living with them. He missed feeling needed…

"Hey Hic," Hic heard Toothless's voice to his right and he turned his head to see the raven-haired boy standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets. His face had definitely brightened up since he had traded places with his alter and had started going to sleep at a normal time. His alter must have hung around for almost a full week before one morning he had woken up as Toothless. Hiccup always thought his alter was temporary, never lasting for more than a few hours. But he was growing to learn that he understood absolutely nothing about Toothless's alter personality.

"You came downstairs," Hic noted, albeit a little sourly based on his previously existing mood.

"Hey now," Toothless chastised lightly as he moved across the room and wrapped an arm around the brunette, who retracted a little from the unexpected contact. But Toothless ignored his recoil and turned to gently kiss the side of his head before saying into his hair, "I was hungry and whatever you're making smells good."

Hic rested the stirring spoon on the simmering pot and closed his eyes into the feeling of Toothless actually being near him. Gods he had missed him so much…

"Did you make extra?" Toothless asked and Hiccup heard the unmistakable sound of his stomach rumbling.

He laughed a little at the ironic timing and nodded his head before reaching over to grab more pasta out of the cupboard. "I can't believe you're actually hungry," he said teasingly, but still slightly surprised.

"Yeah well," Toothless said casually, "I need to focus more now on getting back into shape. I think I made it over the first hump."

"Why do you say that?" Hiccup asked curiously as he poured the pasta into a pot of boiling water. "Your alter was out for five whole days."

"I dunno…I remember more of what he did. I remember you talking to him," he said as he raised an eyebrow at Hiccup.

"Does this mean he'll go away?" Hic asked hopefully.

But Toothless's face fell a little at Hic's perspective. "I already said this is permanent, Hic," he muttered quietly.

"I'm sorry," Hic apologized. He hadn't meant to upset Toothless, he just wished he could understand him better.

"It's alright," he said before moving away from Hiccup and filling the electric kettle with water to boil.

Hiccup instantly missed his presence next to him and spent the next few minutes plotting how he could cop a feel and make it look like an accident. It didn't matter to him that Toothless had lost a lot of weight, his ass was still there. And other less visible regions… Shit…

"Hic…your water's overflowing," Toothless said from the other end of the counter, which started Hic back to attention and immediately turned down the water. It was probably done anyway…

He spent the next few minutes draining the water and assembling the simple pasta. After grating fresh parmesan over the two bowls, he brought them into the dining room adjacent to the kitchen where Toothless was waiting with the tea he had just brewed. He sat placidly sipping on the water while reading through some news on his cellphone. Hic set the bowl down in front of him and sat himself in a chair.

Then suddenly Hic just needed to be honest. If he couldn't touch the raven-haired boy, then he at least had to vent to him.

"Is it as hard for you as it is me?" he asked, the annoyance clear in his tone.

Toothless twirled some pasta into a spoon, but turned to look at Hiccup with his eyebrow raised in expectation of some kind of elaboration.

"I mean…," Hiccup began, "I want to have sex with you again…" he grumbled as straightforward as he could be. The only reason he was able to speak so openly was because Benedikt wasn't there. He had fortunately decided to have a life recently.

Toothless grinned at him and averted his attention back to the pasta. He raised a twirled forkful to his mouth to eat it; however, a strand came unraveled and he must have purposefully made a show to slowly suck it back up.

Hiccup dropped his head into his hand on the table and groaned, "Stahhp. You don't have to rub it in."

Toothless then laughed heartily at him and said, "Of course it's as fucking hard for me as it is for you. Why the hell do you think I sleep upstairs?"

That gave Hiccup pause, "I thought…I thought you wanted to keep your alter separate from everyone until you figured things out…"

"Mm…" Toothless started pensively, but ate another forkful of pasta before continuing. "That's how it might have started out. But I decided to stay after knowing that I couldn't keep my self-control when having to watch you get out of the shower every day."

That…at least made Hiccup feel good about himself. That Toothless hadn't simply lost interest in him.

"But why even keep doing it?" he asked completely clueless. "You said it yourself that you're feeling better…"

Toothless groaned a little and shook his head, "Please don't try and make this harder, Hic. I'm on doctor's orders."

"I still think it's the most bizarre set of instructions a doctor could give you," Hic added defiantly. "Not to mention a major invasion of privacy."

"Mm mn, I don't think so," Toothless said as he took a sip of tea, but then set the cup down and looked at Hiccup sympathetically. "I'm working a lot of things out on my own right now, Hic. And…I think it's helping..."

Hiccup bit his cheek and resigned himself to eating his dinner. He couldn't argue if Toothless thought he was helping himself get better somehow.

"I promise after four more months I will screw you until you can't take it anymore," he said while smirking over his cup.

Hiccup was always enraptured by how beautiful he was, but even that light amount of dirty talk was enough to unleash the fantasies…

"Do…do you think that-" Hiccup started, but was cut off by the front door opening. Benedikt always had perfect timing. "Never mind," he said in a quieter tone. "Maybe we can talk about it later?"

He looked up at Toothless, who didn't seem to be listening to him. Instead he had his eyes focused on the wall of the dining room as they heard footsteps going upstairs.

"Toothless?" Hic asked again to try and get his attention.

But both he and Toothless started after hearing a tumultuous CRASH from upstairs. Toothless was out of his chair in an instant and ran upstairs with Hiccup not far behind him. Destructive noises of things knocking to the floor and breaking apart were tumbling out of their bedroom, and after approaching the doorway, Hiccup nearly ran into Toothless, who had suddenly stopped and was supporting himself with his arms on the frame.

Inside their room was Jack. Except that Jack seemed bound and determined to destroy every object he could get his hands on.

"JACK!" Hic yelled to try and shock him out of his mania, but it didn't even cause him to look up.

Toothless quickly moved forward and grabbed him, wrapping his arms up under Jack's and holding the frantic boy with his back against Toothless's chest. He continued to writhe and try to break free, but Toothless was more than determined to hold onto him.

"Jack what the HELL is going-!?" Hic started to yell again.

But Jack interrupted. "FUCK YOU!" he screamed with tears streaming down his face. "I FUCKING HATE BOTH OF YOU!" he screamed in a voice so broken and wrought with pain that Hiccup felt his own heart snap in two. And with that, he choked out a sob and his knees buckled underneath him, causing Toothless to have to hold up his weight.

"Jack…" Hiccup said gently as he took a step forward, "What happened?"

Something was obviously up. There was no reason for Jack to not show up for weeks and weeks only to suddenly appear and decided to destroy everything they owned.

But after Hic asked the question, Jack straightened up and started to struggle again, Toothless nearly losing his grip, but managed to hang on to him tightly.

"JACK!"

"LUCY!" he yelled, his voice breaking as he did so, "She- 's pregnant!"

Hiccup didn't know what to believe. "You got a girl pregnant?!" he asked out of surprise.

"NO!" Jack screamed again before breaking down in sobs and leaning his weight into Toothless's arms, one of which was wrapped across Jack's chest and the other around his waist. His face twisted up and he all they could hear was him alternating between weeping and gasping for air.

Hiccup stood in shock for what seemed like an eternity. He…had no fucking idea what was going on. But Jack was nothing short of distraught. Hic didn't think he had ever seen him this upset…

"Oh my god…" Toothless whispered gently. He suddenly spun Jack around and enveloped him entirely in his arms in an instant. "I'm so sorry Jack…"

Jack seemed to accept Toothless's understanding for he made another desperate gasp for air before wrapping his arms up to hug onto Toothless with a near death grip as he continued his lamentations into the raven-haired boy's chest.

Hiccup had no idea what to do. He could only stand in that spot completely dumbfounded and watch the two grieve and reassure the other.

Then he heard Toothless speak again, his voice so low that Hiccup had to strain his ears to hear him.

"She didn't tell you?"

Jack's voice cracked as he brokenly cried against Toothless, "n-o!..."

That seemed to make him more upset, as he started to shake against Toothless, who could do nothing except hold the white-haired boy against him and gently run his fingers along his back.

"Here, come here," Toothless said gently before guiding Jack over to the bed and lying down, pulling the white-haired boy against him. Jack kept his face buried in Toothless's chest with his arms folded up between them. Toothless wrapped his arms around Jack in whatever attempt he could to protect him from the agony that ravaged him. The position was enough for Hiccup to have to do everything in his power not to run and comfort him as well. He only wished he knew from what...

Hiccup felt dumb and useless. He had no idea what had upset Jack except that it had something to do with his girlfriend. Various possibilities flashed across his thoughts, but he knew that now was not the time to ask questions or try to dig the truth out of Jack. Toothless seemed to be what he needed right now… Hic decided to leave the two on their own.

…

…

Hic had waited up in Toothless's temporary attic room for several hours. He found it difficult to concentrate on anything, because he was listening intently for the sound of footsteps or even a text from Toothless in case they needed anything. His mind was buzzing with possibilities and how much it physically hurt him not able to do anything. Part of him was admittedly jealous that Toothless was down there with him, but Hiccup was more so concerned about what had happened to hurt the white-haired boy so much...

When Toothless finally started to climb the attic stairs, Hic immediately straightened up in bed and hung his legs over the edge. Once he saw Toothless's face, Hic realized he looked almost as distraught as Jack was…

Hic stood up and Toothless walked into Hiccup and instantly wrapped his arms around Hic's shoulders and held him tightly.

Hiccup reciprocated and hugged the raven-haired boy around the waist, but not without asking for an explanation, "Toothless?"

Toothless sniffed once, clearly betraying his emotions, and then shakily admitted, "That…uh…that was really hard..."

"Why? What's going on?" Hic asked in concern as he reached up to brush some of Toothless's hair aside to reveal more of his face. His expressions were tense and he was avoiding eye contact with him. It wasn't normal. It was one thing for Jack to be upset, it was another thing entirely for Toothless to be upset as well.

Toothless pulled away and wiped a hand down his face trying to shake himself out of it. "Jack's girlfriend was pregnant."

"I thought he said she wasn't…" Hic said confused about what the hell he was missing.

"She's not anymore," Toothless said as he looked down at his feet while digging his hands into his pockets. "She decided that she wouldn't be able to keep it and…she didn't talk to him about it beforehand…She left him his stuff and explained it all in a letter."

Hiccup stared at Toothless's inclined head completely dumbstruck.

"Bitch…" he muttered as he finally shut his gaping mouth.

"Don't say that," Toothless said sadly while looking up to connect his vibrant eyes with Hiccup's. "The situation was very complicated. In the end it was her decision…and she decided she couldn't rely on Jack and give up her dream."

Hiccup shook his head in disbelief. "She could have at least told him," he argued feeling his own anger burn at this girl.

"I agree," Toothless said while nodding his head slightly. His eyes darted to the side in thought as he licked his lips and added, "But his reaction would have been the same regardless."

His reaction…

"Did he love her?" Hic asked feeling his throat tighten up in fear. It was his worst fear confirmed, that Jack would leave him for someone else. Somehow all this time…he never really doubted that Jack would eventually come back to-

"I don't think so, no," Toothless said as he nervously bit his lip.

"But…" Hiccup started to say before trying to form his thoughts properly, "Why is he so upset then?" he asked. "Jack's never been the type to want to settle down," he added remembering how Jack didn't even like using the term 'boyfriend' let alone eternal commitment.

Toothless sighed shakily and crossed his arms, rubbing his upper arms as if to warm himself. "Hic…" he started off uncertainly, "Jack may have never wanted the whole one-love and marriage thing but…" he paused for a moment, rubbing his lips together before adding, "The one thing Jack's always wanted above all else was a family. And…and now he's had that dream ripped away from him for a third time."

Toothless brought his eyes back to meet Hiccup's and Hiccup felt as though time itself had frozen. Jack wanted a family… He had lost his sister…his mom…and now a family of his own. As he stared into Toothless, he absorbed total understanding of the gravity of the situation. Of why Toothless was so concerned and upset himself.

"I don't think he'll be able to pull himself out of it again," Toothless suddenly admitted, his voice shaking heavily and Hiccup saw his eyes actually shine with tears.

Hiccup crushed himself back into the raven-haired boy, holding him tightly. He didn't say anything back to him. He couldn't say anything. He couldn't do anything except give empty promises, because Hiccup himself was afraid of the same thing.

"Where is he?" Hiccup asked quietly.

"Asleep. Or at least he was when I left him."

"We should go back to him."

"Both of us?"

"...Yeah."

So...remember when I said I was going to try reeaally hard not to fall into the pregnancy trope?

Did it turn out how you expected?

Whatever your personal beliefs are on this matter, I decided to write this in the hopes that people can still empathize with every side and recognize that everyone's situation is different and unique to them.

But really...what did you think of that chapter?

xoxo

Special Thanks:

eggsdream for your follow and favorite!

Elder The First: Hope I made up for the last chapter being so short! I already had a plan for this one and really wanted it to be one big long chapter. I hope you liked it!

EmJx: Oh my stars...It has been so long since we have spoken. Goes to show how busy we both are... I like that you translate the first word of the title. :] Personally, I love the sound of most German words. Plus it makes everything a little more mysterious to people like you who look it up. But...did I settle your dilemma?

Kigen Dawn: Well...they didn't fight...

Kei-Kat: I'm glad you like it :] I'm honestly surprised I managed to come up with enough story so far...and there's more to come. Hopefully you don't hate me after this chapter though...