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A/N:
-A small shout out to (dearreader). First off thank you for being here from the start. You and (MissCallaLilly). You two are my cross-forum readers. I smiled when you said that your ranting is a tribute to my writing. I appreciate this a lot. I enjoy so much when I write something that affects people. It matters not which emotions it evokes. If it wakes up something in you then my job here is done.
-Thank you to a couple of -hidden- readers that made a special guest appearance also and I am sorry I lost other readers like (QueenMariaTheressia), who was the first one who supported me at the beginning and (Julie-I-Am) who helped me a lot with beta reading and with amazing reviews. That's how life goes...it moves on for all of us. As must this story for it is approaching an end...okay it has a few more things to say, but...but...
-As always (StephCalvino)...sending my heartfelt love to you!
Brothers in arms
That night Thorin locked himself up in his study denying to speak with anyone feeling truly angered by Eilin's disobedience that led Valdis to her evil sister and subsequently almost killed her. He tried to understand why his wife decided once more to work against his command, especially in a very serious matter of state. He didn't expect Eilin to follow his lead in the confines of their privacy, but he did expect her to understand that she couldn't put her finger in every single affair that troubled the King's mind. Especially when he was strictly against sharing anything with her. Even though in their personal relationship Thorin held Eilin far above himself, in his job he demanded to be allowed to act like a King and not have to look above his shoulder to see if his wife was going to trip him up again. The damage that was done to the poor girl was heartbreaking and his relationship with a valued ally and a dear friend had been shaken from the roots exactly because Eilin decided to disobey him and created a chaos around her.
Eilin was given rather suddenly a lot of power and her deepest wish was to use it in order to help people, but she lacked on experience. She didn't know how to process every information, weigh the pros and cons and then decide based upon her logic and not her emotions. She apparently helped Valdis because of the goodness of her heart, but this affair didn't need neither her nor him to act on heart. It needed cold blooded calculation because there were too many balances and alliances at stake. This heinous affair was much bigger than them, but his One had failed to understand that. She was led by her emotions, without being able to recognise every single moving piece of this bloody puzzle in order to avoid the setbacks. He could acknowledge that Eilin lacked not only in experience with ruling, which at the end of the day was not her job, but also she was much younger than him. She had lived fewer years and she had seen far less during them.
So he had an array of excuses for his beloved to use with anyone who might have tried to throw the blame on her, but he made sure that would never happen by taking it all upon himself. He didn't want this mishap to stain Eilin's reputation. His skin was much tougher, it could take much more on it before cracking. She had just gained that precious self esteem that he admired so much. He didn't want her to retreat again into the shadows, beating herself up, even though what she did was seriously wrong. This was not the way he wanted his marriage to work. He didn't want to end up distrusting her, still what happened was not reason enough to throw his beloved in the fire.
With these thoughts in mind he remained in his study, musing at the fire and studying his scrolls for most part of the afternoon. Dis knocked on his doors as a envoy from his wife, who was probably too afraid to face him after what she had done. He denied her the opportunity to speak on Eilin's behalf. What concerned his family was to be dealt only by him no matter his sister's caring intentions. That night he fell asleep on his armchair in front of the fire and Eilin thankfully didn't try to see him again. A small flare of remorse nudged his soul when he became aware that he left his very pregnant wife to sleep alone, but he silenced it easily. If this was the worst punishment he could give to Eilin then she should consider herself very very lucky. What woke him up the next morning was the pain on his back and of course a tenacious knocking on his doors.
He didn't plan to get out of his office soon as he had a lot of things to consider concerning Karunn and Fain, but when Gloin entered with the brightest smile Thorin had ever seen from him and related the surprising news, Thorin decided to break his seclusion and use this small interval to calm down his spirits. He followed Gloin down to one of the mining caverns of the deepest levels and Dwalin found the opportunity to tag along, mostly because he wanted to calm Thorin down after that incident with Dain.
"This way your Royal Highness, this way," the brakesman held up the torch that lighted up the path of the drift, leading Thorin and Dwalin through the dark passages.
Thorin looked around him at the stacked stones on the sides of the entrance that were kept in place by huge tree trunks. This was not a new venture of the delvers. It was an old abandoned mine shaft that was discontinued during Thror's era. Thorin remembered it clearly. The rock around them was solid and dense and it was obvious by the echoes of the voices at the far end of the darkness. The sturdier the rock the deeper the echo. Thorin recalled that the rock had been very difficult to break through with the axes and it was too close to the chasm to risk an explosion so finally Thror had pulled back all the crews in order to designate them in other shafts that were already producing a lot of gold and rare gems. Thorin didn't remember ordering any of the crews to reclaim this abandoned tunnel, so one of his lead miners must have taken an initiative with it.
"I don't think that leaving the mess at the upper floors in order to pursue this is going to help anyone," Dwalin noticed.
"Remaining up there in order to boil myself in oil won't help either." -Thorin rebuked- "How's Dain?" He asked in an afterthought.
"Taking all his wrath upon the troops, what did you expect him..." Dwalin spat.
Thorin exhaled through his nose in annoyance. "This is a bloody old mess..." he muttered.
"Eilin sure placed you in a tight spot. I don't envy you." Dwalin rejoined.
"Did I allow you to come over in order to piss me off by telling me the obvious?" Thorin glared at him.
"No, you did because I am the only you can talk about all this without holding back your thoughts and your feelings." Dwalin said nonchalantly.
"Could have done the same thing with Eilin. It would have possibly saved us a lot of trouble," Thorin pursed his lips, angry this time at himself.
"So why didn't you?" Dwalin looked at him with interest.
"This involves people who don't wish their situations to be known." Thorin rebuked.
"She's your wife to be, she's carrying your children." Dwalin shook his head.
"That doesn't mean that I will divulge Dain's personal request to her. He begged me to keep Valdis safe and not speak to anyone. I won't breach his trust. Get your head together Dwalin." Thorin said dismissively.
His friend looked at him steadily.
"Notwithstanding, Eilin should have trusted my judgment. That would have been easier on all of us." Thorin grumbled.
Dwalin exhaled. "That's true, but you are not counting how feisty and stubborn she can be. She will finish anything she puts her mind into."
Thorin nodded. "Can't deny that."
Dwalin's lip turned into a lopsided teasing smile. "She made it the goal of a lifetime to get you and look at her now..."
Thorin stopped abruptly and looked at Dwalin incredulously.
Dwalin snorted. "She got you well and good...almost on a short lease."
Thorin's head tilted sideways. "Taking it a bit to far, aren't you?"
Dwalin flicked his shoulders. "She has you wrapped around her little finger, but you are too proud to admit it. She outright deceived you and placed you in a tight spot with one of your best friends. The old Thorin would have exploded in anger and flattened everyone to the wall, but I don't see him anywhere. Do you?" Dwalin raised his brow.
Thorin raised his brow. "I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing. Do you?" He riposted.
Dwalin scrounged his lips, but Gloin's quick steps stopped him from speaking.
"Come, come I just saw it!" Gloin intervened and grabbed Thorin's arm pulling him along.
They followed Gloin up to a rather big opening. There they all stopped and the brakesman pointed upwards at an impressive wooden construction that was occupied by three miners. Their faces were black from soot and the small flickering flames on their helmets did little to lighten up the walls around them, yet Thorin had no difficulty whatsoever to see the bright vein twinkling in the darkness. Instead of speaking Dwalin grabbed hold of his shoulder tightly.
Thorin nodded and a wide smile appeared on his lips. "That can fix my mood alright."
"Mine too...damn it!" Dwalin whispered in true awe.
The brakesman kneeled down in front of the King. "Guttormur discovered it my Lord!" He said and pointed at a thin miner who was hanging by a rope close to the Mithril vein.
"Do you think the vein runs deep?" Thorin frowned at placed his hands at his thick belt.
The brakesman took another torch from the wall and ignited it before throwing it up to Guttormur. The Dwarf lifted it up to the wall and moved it towards every side. As far as they eyes could see there were myriads of Mithril veins spreading like spider webs. Others were thick and seemed very deep, others were smaller, but there was no doubt that Erebor had struck it's first rich Mithril vein in centuries. "I think so your Majesty!" Guttormur replied happily.
Thorin huffed and shook his head. "This is truly impressive."
"Haven't seen anything like that in ages..." Dwalin muttered.
"None of us was born when the last vein had been discovered and drained." Thorin interposed.
Gloin nodded. "None of us ever got the honour to experience something like this!"
"Who ordered these men down this drift? I thought it had been closed up." Thorin frowned at the brakesman.
"Guttormur took the initiative. There were six crews working on the adjoining tunnel so when he saw the entrance he convinced three men to join in for a small exploration. Rest is history." The brakesman said.
"What about the engineer in charge of these shafts?" Thorin asked.
"He was against this endeavour as they run too close to the outer wall that ends in the bottomless chasm, but the lads decided to overlook those commands," the brakesman bowed.
"Oi! Cut it out Hannin you little rat!" one of the drillers cried.
"I am just answering the King's questions!" Hannin replied feeling annoyed.
Thorin raised his brow. "Guttormur is your name?" he turned at the delver.
"Yes your highness," the Dwarf replied respectfully.
"Come down and bring over your crew," Thorin gestured at them.
The workers climbed down the wooden structure with unmatched skill that Thorin wouldn't have ever dreamed off and aligned in front of him. He looked at them carefully and two of them took off their helmets in respect. Guttormur's bright eyes, hidden behind the blackness of his face were watching at the King with wonder. One of his comrades nudged him and pointed at his helmet which he took off quickly. "I am sorry your majesty," he muttered. None of them had ever seen the Mountain King face to face, only from afar and only in one or two rare occasions. Seeing the King even from a great distance was considered great luck in the mining community, never mind having the aforementioned King visiting their working place and looking at them face to face.
"Why didn't you listen to the engineer's orders to remain away from this shaft?" Thorin raised his brow.
Guttormur looked hesitant at his friends, searching for support. "There were some traces of strange coloured rocks on the ceiling of the drift at the entrance. That intrigued me to explore it." He spoke honestly.
Thorin looked backwards. "I see gobbing back there, was it here before you arrived?"
"We placed it my Lord," Guttormur lowered his head.
"Sustained by whole tree barks..." Thorin raised his brow impressed.
Guttormur looked at his comrades who found their boots rather interesting suddenly.
"That means that someone had to bring these tree barks down here..." Thorin continued.
"We did," Guttormur admitted defeated.
"Behind the engineer's back?" Thorin's eyes were contemplative.
Guttormur looked at his comrades and upon seeing no reaction he nodded silently.
Thorin sighed. "This square set timbering. Was it your work?"
Guttormur nodded. "My crew did it."
Thorin moved backwards slightly in order to look better. "That inverted structure on the ceiling...your crew also?"
"Yes, my Lord."
"Rather artistic," Thorin frowned.
Guttormur looked up with renewed courage. "Kilar is the master behind all this structure." He pointed at a stout Dwarf next to him who lifted his awestricken eyes at Thorin.
Thorin gazed at him. "You have experience with architecture?
"No my Lord, only what I did back at my parents house in north Ithilien. I wasn't ever given the chance to explore this kind of work better. All the mining positions were taken at those mountains ranges. I worked the lands to earn some coins in order to support my family."
"Your work can put to shame many famous delvers." Thorin noticed.
Kilar bowed to the ground. "Thank you Sir!"
"He needs a promotion," Gloin raised his brow thoughtfully.
Thorin gazed thoughtfully at his treasurer. "You believe that the vein will run deep indeed?"
"Could very well be, look at it's thickness for heaven's sake," Gloin pointed at it.
"What's your opinion?" Thorin turned his attention at Guttormur.
"We have to bring more crews in to check it my Lord, but it seems pretty rich judging by its brightness, it's thickness at places and the fact that it burrows far into the rock. We have to delve deeper to find out." Guttormur rejoined cordially.
"Did you come from the Ironhills?" Thorin scrutinised him.
"From north Ithilien's mountain ranges my Lord along with Kilar. Brought my family over two moons ago." Guttormur bowed.
"Where do you reside?"
"At the seventh level social residency my Lord. Very close to this shaft." Guttormur looked at the King searchingly. When Thorin's attention turned to the main Mithril vein, the delver looked at Kilar who shook his shoulders at a loss. It took several moments for Thorin to speak again as he, Dwalin and Gloin admired the work of these three miners.
"Very well. Guttormur you shall enhance your crew with twenty more men and you shall venture deeper into the tunnel to see how rich this vein is." Thorin said solemnly.
"I am not a lead miner my Lord. I cannot recruit anyone," Guttormur said modestly.
"You are now, "Thorin rejoined.
Guttormur's confused countenance flared instantly. "What?!" he cried.
Thorin nodded. "You shall be relocated in the second level social residencies, near the eastern central gathering cavern. The engineer responsible for these shafts will be informed about you today. Recruit whoever you believe is capable enough to follow your lead. Moreover you" -Thorin pointed at Kilar- "get a promotion to engineer." -Kilar yelped and his face brightened up- "If this vein proves sufficient the first three Mithril vests will be bestowed to you and your families."
The miners grasped each others arms and their mouths dropped open.
"if you manage to uncover the largest Mithril vein Erebor had seen in centuries I will triple your payment and I will offer free tutoring for your offsprings." Thorin's lips broke into a smile.
"That's quite an honour, men!" -Gloin's glare was intimidating- "Miners children don't get free education. They rarely get a paid one either!"
Thorin chuckled. "Balin will take over the creation of a typical school for the children of Erebor. I'm sure he'll have a blast."
They all fell to their knees in front of him. Guttormur took over. "Your majesty, the honour you are bestowing to us is unfathomable. I find no words good enough to show you our gratitude!"
Thorin clasped the man's shoulder. "It's me that should be thanking you my good man. The first rock of Mithril that will come out of your pickaxe...keep it for me."
Guttormur gazed up with his eyes full of tears. "Yes, my Lord! I shall bring it to you personally!"
"Take a five day break. This tunnel shall be secured until you manage to relocate house and find a crew that satisfies you. You report straight to me." Thorin squeezed the man's shoulder. Then he turned to Dwalin. "Tell Fili to place four royal guards in the entrance of this shaft."
Dwalin smiled widely. "Hell yes I will!"
Guttormur broke to tears and his comrades tried to solace him. "Thank you my Lord. May Mahal bless you, the Queen and the heir to the throne! Thank you!"
Thorin inclined his head and after a few moments of enjoying this rarest find in the Mountain's bowels, him and his friends decided to make it to the upper levels. This discovery had uplifted Thorin's spirits and he felt much more collected when they came out to the grand antechamber in front of the entrance. He felt hope rekindling in his heart and saw this Mithril vein as a sign from his forefathers that he was doing something right in his rule, despite the drawbacks.
Dwalin and Gloin had joined in a fierce conversation about who was going to make the first Mithril order, Dale or the Elves of Mirkwood and Thorin was sauntering next to them with his hands crossed behind his back partly enjoying their friendly banter when the worried voice of Balin broke through this amicable interaction. "I've been looking everywhere for you laddie!"
Thorin turned to see Balin running up to them out of breath. "Not everywhere apparently."
Dwalin grasped Balin's forearm and span him around. "Erase that bloody frown from your face brother. We've discovered Mithril!"
"What?" Balin's brows rose.
"Indeed and it looks like a very rich vein..." Gloin said proudly and crossed his arms.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Balin asked lost.
Thorin shook his head. "Tell me what happened, we'll discuss this find later."
"Fain happened...upon our entrance. Then he happened upon Valdis' room and Dain had been unable to hold him back," Balin raised his brows.
Thorin's face lost all the satisfaction from this rare discovery and a dark shadow was cast over it.
When Thorin entered Valdis' room he felt his back crawling with anger. When his eyes fell at Dis and Eilin he felt his anger becoming wrath. When Fain ran to him in desperation and caught his forearm he felt his heart suddenly erupting with immense grief and guilt...guilt above all. "Thorin! My brother, my captain, my blood!" Fain's eyes filled with tears. His arms were shaking.
Thorin embraced him fiercely and closed his eyes. "Calm down, I am here."
Fain pressed his face on Thorin's shoulder and tightened his arms around him. "I am sorry I disobeyed you, but I had to. I knew something was wrong. It isn't like you to change your orders upon the blink of an eye. Will you forgive me for busting through your doors like this?"
Thorin gripped Fain's nape hard and gritted his teeth. "My house is yours. It was forever so. I love you and that hasn't changed even though I haven't seen you in years. We grew up together you bloody bastard. I still remember you tagging along after me and Dwalin. You know you are always welcome in Erebor!"
Dain averted his eyes that were burning with tears. Seeing the deep affection Thorin still held for his brother was enough to break him in half.
Fain pressed Thorin tightly in his arms and butted his forehead on the King's shoulder. "Tell me please what happened. Nobody is speaking. Neither your nephew, neither my brother. Please Thorin, speak to me for my heart is breaking...my poor daughters...my Valdis...my little girl..." he said and a sob tore through his strong chest. He pulled away from Thorin and looked back at his daughter as if remembering that he had left her alone for too long.
Thorin's teeth gritted as he was still clutching Fain's forearm protectively. He didn't want to let him go, mostly because he didn't want to unfold everything that had taken place up till then with his daughter and cause him any pain. "Give me a moment I beg you."
Fain pulled Thorin's hand up and crushed his lips on it's back. "You have all the time you need. Allow me to go to my daughter, my King."
Thorin pushed him away and Fain rushed up to Valdis who was sat up in bed crying her eyes out on Fili's arms. The moment her father sat next to her, she released Fili and fell on her father almost in despair. "Daddy, please forgive me...forgive me..." she sobbed loud enough to break everyone's heart.
Eilin cupped her mouth to drown her own pained sobs and Dis pulled her over in order to support her.
Thorin looked around the room, allowing his heart to settle down after that emotional reunion with one of his most beloved friends. This was a private moment between a daughter and a father. It didn't need any witnesses, even if they were Thorin's family. "My Lords and Ladies out." He commanded.
Fili looked at his uncle with bloodshot eyes, but didn't make a move to leave.
"What happened to you my beloved child. Who did this to you?!" Fain cried and took Valdis' wrists in his thick hands. His fingers caressed the bandages on them and his heart screamed in pain.
"It was an accident, I swear upon my life daddy it was an accident!" Valdis looked at her heartbroken father, and teary rivers cascaded down her face.
"It was an accident. Just a freaky accident brother, why won't you believe me?" Dain came up and clasped his brother's shoulder. His eyes were also pooling with tears.
Dis clutched Eilin's hand as she tried to find Thorin's eyes.
"Everybody out!" Thorin's rich voice echoed like a whiplash into the room.
Dis pulled Eilin forcefully towards the door. Once more she tried to get close to her husband, one more time she failed.
"Don't, just don't! Not now...follow me!" Dis hissed at the Queen and thankfully for all of them Eilin followed even though her distressed eyes were still trying to find Thorin's.
Fili didn't make a move to leave Valdis' side.
"The command was for you too nephew..." Thorin's voice crawled menacingly.
"Allow me to remain with her please," Fili looked truly broken.
"OUT!" his explosive voice send Dis and Eilin out quickly and Fili followed them after he kissed Valdis' hands and reassured her that he was going to remain outside.
"I am so sorry daddy that you had to find me like this...please forgive me." Valdis whispered.
Fain pulled Valdis in his arms and caressed her soft hair. "What happened to you my darling girl? What befell you?"
"It was an accident daddy," Valdis rejoined and as Fain drew her in she leaned her head on his chest and inhaled deeply in relief. She looked at uncle Dain and the King. Everybody in that room knew...except her father.
"A nasty accident indeed!" Dain crossed his arms angrily.
Fain pulled back and forced himself to smile down at his daughter, even though his heart was not feeling it. "My baby, how did you manage to cut your wrists?"
"I was playing with uncle Dain's hunting knives..." she said quietly.
"Dain allowed you?" -Fain raised his brow- "That was very irresponsible of him."
Dain huffed and bit the inside of his lip until he drew blood.
Fain cleared up some locks from his daughter's face. "How in the name of Mahal did you manage to slash your wrists with those hunting knives? This doesn't make sense my love."
Valdis cupped her mouth and felt more tears running down her face. "I can't...I don't know daddy..." She was at a loss for words.
Fain's broken face turned to his brother. "How did she manage such cuts brother?" he asked and his voice dropped low.
Dain exhaled angrily and turned away from his brother's scrutinising stare. Fain turned to Thorin. "Won't you tell me at least, please?" he begged the King.
Thorin crossed his arms and felt Dain looking at him sharply, expecting him to reveal everything to the broken father. "Sometimes when children play with knives they get hurt, especially when they don't have any training experience." The difficulty that he had in order to deliver those lies had been immense, but he heard Dain's exhalation of relief and released one of his own too.
The fact that the King validated what Dain and Valdis had said, offered their words a strong boost of sincerity in Fain's eyes. The Lord of the Ironhills looked back at the teary face of his daughter and his lips turned down. "Why did you play with Dain's knives?"
"I wanted to impress prince Fili," Valdis said with a diminished voice.
"All this was because you wanted to impress a man!?" Fain's voice became harder. Then he turned to Thorin. "Why did you allow her?"
"I am not on top of her. I cannot know what she does all the time." Thorin told him calmly.
"So what did Fili do about all this? Why didn't he tell you to stop? Why didn't he protect you?" Fain sounded angry.
"Tone it down a bit," Thorin warned.
"He didn't know dad. I just wanted to make him proud of me." Valdis said quietly.
Fain exhaled roughly. "Cannot blame the boy then, neither your uncle nor the King. Just what got into your mind, tell me? A man should fall in love with who you truly are, not who they want you to be. If prince Fili wants his woman to know how to fight in a battle then he could turn his attentions to the she-Elves of Mirkwood. Not a dwarrowdam of the Ironhills!"
Valdis grabbed her father's hand tightly. "He does care for me exactly as I am! This was just a stupid idea that popped into my head. Don't blame anyone please. Everybody took such good care of me, dad! The medical Lord Oin, Prince Fili, Princess Dis, the King and above all the Queen. Especially the Queen!" Valdis may have had her father in front of her, but her eyes fell on the King.
Thorin raised his brow slowly.
"She did everything she could to assist me. She couldn't have known what was in my heart..." -Valdis continued with the same soft tone, but she was speaking straight to Thorin- "Nobody must get punished. Especially someone who tried to help a desperate soul."
Fain frowned and looked back at the expressionless countenance of Thorin. "What desperate soul? I don't understand what you are talking about baby."
Dain decided to intervene, before all this got out of hand. "Enough pumpkin. I think we all understood. Right my King?" He gazed at Thorin.
The King inhaled deeply and inclined his head. "Right."
Fain looked from one to the other in perturbation for a few moments and then turned his attention to his daughter. "I am so happy you feel better and that you are safe...above all that you are safe!" Fain looked at her face lovingly.
Valdis' eyes filled up with tears. "I am glad I am alive too dad, but..." she hesitated.
Fain's palm cupped her cheek. "What is it my precious gem?"
"I hope I haven't disappointed you and mom too much," she averted her eyes.
Dain crossed his arms and his jawline flexed. Thorin averted his eyes to his boots.
"Disappoint us in what?" Fain frowned feeling totally confounded.
"I was never the daughter you really wanted, was I?" she sounded deeply embarrassed and regretful.
Fain pressed her hands and his brow clouded. "What are you talking about?"
Valdis nipped her bottom lip. "When mom fell pregnant with me you had problems in your marriage. Karunn told me. You didn't want another child, but I happened upon you. Mom never wanted me, but she had to raise me, didn't she?" Her eyes flooded with tears.
Dain turned around and leaned close to Thorin's ear. "Those were the words of that malevolent woman!" His voice was barely contained.
Thorin crossed his arms and nodded as his brows creased angrily.
"What nonsense is this? Karunn spoke of such despicable lies?" Fain's face looked shocked.
Valdis shook her head. "You don't have to pretend daddy. I know you love me, but mom never did. She never wanted me. Karunn told me I was unwanted and more so that I never became the daughter our mother wished for. I never fulfilled her standards. She's right dad, I know. I've heard mom speaking behind my back, wishing that I was never born. I tried to ..." -she wanted to say make her wish come true by taking my life, but her voice broke and her heart felt cold and pained. She just pulled her father fiercely and got buried in his arms- "I am sorry I failed you."
Fain closed his eyes and squeezed his daughter tightly in his arms. "You never failed me or your mother. This is the kind of nonsense that Karunn has been telling you all these years. Why are you taking them so seriously now? Me and your mother, we both love you to bits. We cannot live without you. We are immensely proud of what you have accomplished so far. We couldn't have had a better daughter than you!"
Valdis sniffled at her father's chest and he enfolded her closer still. "I am trying daddy, I just don't know if I am good enough."
Fain buried her face on his neck. "I wouldn't want you to be anything more than what you are right now! I love you to death!"
Valdis sobbed and nodded. "Me too dad! I love you so much!"
He rubbed her back firmly. "Why did you take the lies of your sister so seriously? This was just an idiocy."
"Idiocy is when a person doesn't know how to act any better. Karunn's words were aiming for heartache brother! That's malevolence." Dain intervened coldly. He hated seeing his niece and brother like that.
"A person in death row won't lie dad. She's going to die, what reason would she have to lie to me?" Valdis said and pulled back to see her father's dark eyes.
Fain inhaled sharply and a rush of terror took hold of his spine. "Death row!? What?" He whispered.
Valdis averted her eyes and wiped away the tears from her cheeks.
Fain looked at his brother, who didn't dare to meet his eyes. "Dain?"
He didn't reply.
Fain released Valdis hands and stood up. He looked at Thorin lost. "My King?"
Thorin pursed his lips.
Fain's face paled. "Karunn is on death row?"
Dain cupped his mouth and his fingers tightened until they grew white. He spat a curse in Khuzdul under his breath.
Thorin's lips turned down, but he squared his shoulders. "Yes."
"What did she do?" Fain's voice was diminished and his eyes were foggy. He approached the King with unsteady steps.
Thorin raised his brow. "Your older daughter unfortunately got involved in an series of events that weighed heavily upon many lives."
Fain reached Thorin and almost collapsed in his arms. He whispered with a shaky voice. "What is she accused off..."
Thorin nodded slowly. "Second degree murder, multiple attempts of murder and treason against the state."
Fain's face drained of all the blood and Thorin had to pull him in his arms in order to support him. "Heaven's help me..." he stuttered and his eyes rolled to the back of his head.
Valdis yelled in fear and sprang out of bed to help her father. Dain was quick to stop her and pulled her in his arms. "Remain out of this pumpkin. With me, you are with me!" He said and pulled her head on his chest and away from the distress of her father.
"I need to know everything, please tell me...Thorin...I cannot breathe...please..." Fain grasped Thorin's shoulders as he felt the world fading around him.
Thorin pulled Fain on him and gritted his teeth. "Steady, I have you."
Fain heaved as his weakened body found support upon his best friend and King. "Speak to me, what did she do?" he stammered defeated.
"You'll learn everything. Just keep on breathing...please." Thorin grasped Fain's nape and pulled him on his shoulder hard. He felt tears edging his eyes. He never wanted all this for Fain...never.
It took Fain a long time to manage to regulate his breaths under Thorin's support, but when he finally spoke his voice was barely heard. "I need to see her...let me see her."
Thorin looked up at Dain who reciprocated his burning stare. He swallowed heavily. "You will my brother...you will see her."
That is when Fain totally broke apart. Thorin tightened his arms firmly around his friend and squeezed his eyes tight. His jawline flexed and one single tear rolled down the bridge of his nose.
When Thorin felt safe enough to allow Fain some privacy with his family, without him collapsing he left. His hope lay on Valdis' embrace and Dain's love to ease a little the anguish of this pained father. He didn't try to search for Eilin, nor for his sister and nephew. He curled into himself as his own heart was bleeding from seeing Fain in such despair and knowing he was the one who was bestowing all that pain on him.
He decided to go down to the forging station in order to work on the cradle. If there was one thing that could soothe down his spirits, then this was the thought of his child. He remained down there for the reminder of the day, knowing that tomorrow he'd lead Fain to Karunn himself and that after that he had to explain everything, but above all that he was going to come face to face with Fain's need to protect Karunn.
The responsibility of leading his kingdom out of this darkness unscathed, felt at times overwhelming so he used his work to soothe down his mind. It was after the bell's first chime for the night that Thorin finally looked up from his work. He gazed thoughtfully at the cradle. The daisy that Eilin had ordered was adorning the headboard and the footboard had the Longbeard sigil on it. He run his hand on the smoothness of the wood and gave the cradle a small push to see if it was rocking as gently as he was wishing. It creaked slightly as it rocked from side to side and Thorin frowned down at it. He picked it up easily and flipped it over. He pushed at the joints of the smooth planks in order to find out where the creaking was coming from when a soft voice made him look up.
"Tell me I am not bothering you..." Eilin was standing there dressed in a royal blue dress that had a golden embroidery under her full breasts. The silky material that bore the royal sigil at it's hem outlined her ever growing bump very clearly. His eyes fell on the swelling of her breasts above her open cleavage. The diamond dove was trapped between the deep canyon between them and a stray rude thought rushed through his worried mind. Even though Eilin looked adorably pregnant and very sexy right now, what she had done stopped him from expressing his love to her. He felt a sudden urge to yell at her and then maybe kiss her to oblivion...and then maybe yell at her even more.
"You are not." He replied calmly and turned his attention back to the cradle.
Eilin walked inside and approached him carefully. "Why didn't you come home last night?" she whispered.
"I had a lot of work." He rebuked and picked up a screwdriver in order to tighten up some bolts.
"I got worried." She stippled her fingers under her bump.
"Won't say I am sorry," he said coldly. He knew that he was pushing her away with his attitude, but the need to make her understand the severity of what she had done was acute.
Tears pooled in her eyes. "I know you are angry at me...I know I did something irrevocably wrong...I know I betrayed your trust...I deceived you...I..." she stuttered.
His jawline gritted and so did his grip on the screwdriver. "I have all hell loose in my hands and I have to keep it all together! I needed your support damn it! Not you tripping me up!" he looked up sharply.
She closed her eyes and pressed her lips. Tears were running down her beautiful face and her bosom was shaking. "I am sorry Thorin, I beg you...I am so sorry...please forgive me..."
He gave her a cold stare and then looked back down at his work.
"Why won't you look at me?" she took a hesitant step closer to him.
"I just did," he rebuked stonily.
She reached the cradle and placed her trembling hand on it in order to draw his attention. "I messed up." She admitted.
"Seriously." He kept his eyes on the cradle.
She felt her eyes burning with fresh tears and her heart breaking. "Please look at me...I cannot handle your indifference."
He raised his burning stare and captured hers.
The intensity of his eyes made her wish to take back her previous plead. "I don't want you looking at me so angry."
"What do you wish me to do then? Look at you or not? Decide for heaven's sake!" He snapped and threw his screwdriver down irritated beyond belief.
She jerked back and he saw the first traces of fear in her green eyes. "What are you doing? Are you going to pounce on me now?"
He frowned and looked up at the dread in her eyes. "What are you talking about?"
She opened her mouth and her voice came out in broken inhalations of terror. "Are you this angry? Are you going to push me to the floor again?" she muttered and took another fearful step away from his suppressed fury. Her hand came protectively around her bump.
The realisation of what she just said emptied on him like a ton of boulders, rendering him speechless. He pushed himself up and tilted his head. Slowly the look of anger in his eyes dissipated, leaving a trail of confused pain. "Push you to the floor? Why would I do that?"
"You are mad at me right now, aren't you?" her bottom lip was trembling and so were her hands. He took a step forward, she took a step back.
"I am very pissed off!" He said sternly and reached out to her.
She cried and raised her hands to protect her face.
His fingers curled around her wrists and he lowered them gently away from her eyes. "What are you doing Eilin?"
"Last time you got mad at me you pushed me to the floor...Don't do it again please Thorin. Think of our child. I'll go away...I'll leave you alone." she whispered terrified.
He felt his heart being cut deep with the rapier of guilt and instantly all his anger about what Eilin had done behind his back dissolved into the ground. He pulled her into his arms fiercely and she immediately wrapped her hands tightly around his shoulders. "No...no no...you have this all wrong." He muttered.
She weeped gently onto his chest. "I am so sorry for what I did, please forgive me..I love you..." She murmured.
"I don't solve my disagreements through violence, Eilin. What happened back then was unforgivable of me and it shall never be repeated, please believe me!" He kissed the top of her curly hair and rubbed his cheek on them, feeling his skin breaking out in goosebumps from the realisation that their healing process still had a long way to go. There were many wounds still open in her and he had to find a way to heal them all, one by one. He still needed to convince her that the cruel side she had witnessed in him was never going to be turned towards her ever again.
She exhaled in partial relief and her lips offered him an affectionate kiss on his collarbone. "I am sorry, I am just afraid. When we argue, I am afraid that nightmare will be repeated."
His palms planed down her back soothingly. "Eilin we are a couple. We've sworn to share our lives correct?"
She nodded fiercely.
"Do you have the misconception that we shall never disappoint each other or that we will never argue?" he continued with a soft tone meant to calm her down.
"I know we will." She agreed sadly.
"Do you think that every argument of ours will end up with me becoming abusive towards you?" he frowned deeply.
She shook head head fiercely. "No...and maybe...I don't know Thorin."
He exhaled deeply and cupped the back of her head drawing her under his chin. "I shall not do anything to harm you ever again my love. I swear upon my life. I swore it back at the Shire, I will swear it as many times as you wish me."
Her shoulders relaxed and she released a trapped breath onto his neck. "Nevertheless you are still mad at me."
"Immensely." He said and tightened his arms around her.
"And you are hugging me?" she hesitated for a few moments.
"Won't let you out of my arms..." he nodded.
"Even though you are furious?" her small fingers crumbled up the material of his tunic and held him tightly.
"Even though I want to spank your bottom till it becomes red." His lips broke into a small up tilt.
"What?" her body tensed unexpectedly.
He tilted his head. "Might try that in a more intimate moment between us after you deliver...don't know."
She snorted. "Are you trying to make me smile?"
He kissed her temple. "I am channeling my anger and preparing you for future adventures..."
She bit her lower lip expectantly. "I don't know why that sounded enticing to me."
"I am still furious with you, so don't divert too much." His voice turned austere.
The small hope in her demeanour got lost quickly. "I know, I am sorry for what I did Thorin, please believe me. I never expected it to end the way it did. I only wanted to help Valdis not hurt her."
"What made you think that Karunn was going to treat her sister fairly, I wonder. Haven't you witnessed the venom in her already?" he said sternly.
"I acted upon my heart, but not with my mind. That was a huge mistake..." she whispered feeling defeated by her own mistakes.
"This woman is ruthless. You endangered Valdis' life by your irresponsible actions." He reprimanded her sternly, but his hands smoothed the soft fabric of her dress on her back and clutched her waist possessively. The language of his mind and that of his body were in total contrast.
"I know," she sniffled.
"You went behind my back," he continued.
She buried her face onto his chest.
"You ordered the guards to open the door with lies..." he frowned, but his embrace didn't slack.
"I am so sorry," she sniffled.
"Lies Eilin...behind my back..." he scolded.
A small sob rattled her pale exposed shoulders. "I know...I am so sorry."
"Didn't we say no lies between us?" his hand left her waist and cupped her cheek tenderly.
She shook her head eagerly. "Yes..."
"Not only did you lie to me, but also you acted against the state, because my decisions are ...the state." he rejoined relentlessly.
"Please...forgive me..." she mumbled and her fingers created tight balls out of the fabric of his tunic.
"Do you think I denied Valdis a meeting with Karunn just to piss her off?"
She shook her head. "No."
"No. I acted this way to protect the young Lady against a woman that is plain cruel. I acted on behalf of her uncle. You couldn't have known that, but you should have trusted me. I am not only your Thorin, Eilin...I am the King of Erebor, I am the King of the seven Kingdoms. Whatever decision I make has a valid reason behind it. It's not me acting on instinct or flowing with the wind. I don't work that way." He spoke softly, but there was a steely undertone in his voice that announced he was still angry at her.
"Your sister tried to explain to me." She muttered.
"And you didn't listen.." he shook his head.
"I was a fool..." she whispered and pulled his tunic, feeling mad at herself for failing him.
"Yes, you were a fool. Nonetheless, I cannot but admire your persistence in assisting your people." His tone turned thoughtful.
Her body tensed. "That's what I did yes." She pulled back and looked at his azure eyes.
"You acted like the Queen even though you lack the experience needed in order to do so. What happened this time was a great lesson for you and we are lucky it wasn't a lesson that cost another life to Karunn's malevolence." He raised his brow critically, but his fingers cleared up some wet hair that had been trapped between her lips by the tears that had soaked her face.
"I didn't want to see Valdis suffer so. I've seen enough suffering back at the tavern. I've suffered myself greatly and no one was there to help me through. I saw the pain of this girl and I wanted instinctively to help her. You told me to act like a Queen. Doesn't a Queen assist her people to the best of her ability?" she said quietly trying to clear up her tears now that she felt secure that Thorin had forgiven her, if only partially.
"It is, but in this case the best way to help Valdis was to keep her away from her sister." Thorin raised his brow.
"I know that now..." Eilin averted her eyes.
His forefinger and thumb pinched her chin and pulled her face up to him. "You exposed me irrevocably to my allies...to my friends."
Eilin felt her heart bleeding and buried her face onto his chest, wanting to hide from him. "I'll admit to my mistake. I'll take the burden away from you. You don't deserve to get burned for my stupidity."
He shook his head. "You shall do no such thing and you won't disobey me this time, alright?"
She frowned and looked up to him. "I need to be held accountable!" She sounded decided.
"You need to be given more chances in order to learn how to use the immense power that you now have, wisely. That will not happen by throwing you in the fire, Eilin. That will happen through cooperation with me. We are both in fault. I won't count who was more and who was less. You need to trust on the decisions of your husband and not expect an explanation each and every time. I will have to learn how to share with you more. Something that I don't know how to do, since I have not shared my life with a woman for ages." -he hesitated- "My relationship with Siv never reached the depths that our relationship has. I never divulged secrets of the state to her and besides I wasn't the King back then. I didn't have so many things on my mind. As you need more chances to learn how to control your power and to act wisely, so I need a chance to learn how to trust you more. How to speak to you about the troubles in my mind and how to share if not all, then at least partial information of what is occupying me. How does that sound to you?" He smiled down at her and cleared some sweaty curls from her temple.
She bit her lips. "Sounds..." -she closed her eyes and smiled- "immensely wise."
"Don't suck up," he warned her.
She snorted and kissed his collarbone.
He inhaled deeply. "We escaped a tragedy by a hair's inch."
She closed her eyes and her lips turned down. "I failed...both Valdis and you."
He caressed her jawline with his thumb and looked at her beautiful face thoughtfully. "You did, but remember nobody is born wise. You must fail in order to learn how to succeed."
She smiled sadly. "Thank you my love, for giving me another chance."
He shook his head. "Just don't work behind my back anymore. Talk things over with me and I will try to do the same."
"I tried to..!" -her eyes grew wide- "but you didn't listen."
"There is always a reason to my deafness. If I seem deaf, you stop bothering me with the issue at hand and accept that I know things you don't. There will be times when I will not be able to explain to you anything, because there will be other people involved that wish for secrecy. That is when you must trust me to deliver, okay?" he asked her with a gentle caress on her chin.
She nodded.
"There should be no embarrassment to admit that you failed to change my decisions from time to time."
Her lips turned down. "If my instincts tell me to do the opposite of what you command? What about then? Do I follow blindingly?"
He flicked his shoulders. "When it will come down to that we shall have to experiment."
She frowned. "More arguments?"
"Possibly more arguments, which will be solved as gently as this one. Is that okay with you?" he caressed the underside of her earlobe tenderly.
She exhaled hard. "More than okay."
He nodded thoughtfully. "Dain and Fain are like brothers to me. We grew up together, we shed our blood together against common enemies, we can die for each other. We are brothers in arms. You must understand that Fain's family is as important to me as he is. Karunn's situation is not easy on me, men gehyith. She's not a simple criminal whom I can execute without having to answer to anyone. I got her family on my back, and damn it...I love them! There are more things taking place behind closed doors, than you are aware."
Her hands sailed past his neck gently and cupped his nape lovingly. "I was not aware...I should have been wiser..."
"Now after everything that happened with Valdis, things have become even harder." Thorin said dourly.
"You mentioned executing Karunn..." Eilin shuddered.
He raised his brow.
"You said you were going to listen to my request for a pardon. Send her away in exile Thorin, please. She'll have to experience what it is like to live on your own, poor and kicked out of every abode. How it is to have no safety and float adrift with no purpose, hungry, abused and cold. Let her feel what I have felt my whole life, without the support of her family. Without the honour of her beard and long hair. Brand her...but don't kill her..." Eilin said solemnly.
"Eilin, naivety can be rather alluring on a simple tavern maiden, but it is a drawback on a Queen. Do you perchance have the misconception that Karunn's family will remain idle if I send her into exile? Don't you think they will try to sneak her back into their stronghold without my knowledge? No matter how much I love and trust Fain, I know the father in him will try to help her...and I cannot blame him." Thorin rebuked.
"I don't want your cruel side unleashed on anyone Thorin...I don't ever want to see it again...I don't want anyone to die because of us!" She said acutely.
"Not even someone who almost struggled you? Who almost killed our child?" His eyes were hard on her.
She paled and one hand released his nape in order to skim around the roundness of her belly that was being pressed between them. She swallowed heavily and remained silent for a very long time. "I am at a loss..." she whispered.
He tilted his head softly."Sometimes me too my love and it is not easy to admit defeat especially when everyone thinks that I have everything under control."
She smiled at him sadly. "It is an honour that you trust me enough to reveal such a thing."
"To reveal my weaknesses you mean..." he reciprocated her smile.
She frowned and caressed the hairpin at the side of his lips. "Yes." She whispered.
"It's because I trust you and I am making an effort. Now it's your turn to do the same. Show some trust in me." He raised his brows.
She closed her eyes and nodded. "I trust you with my life."
His lips turned into a lopsided smile. "Now can we give this a rest?"
She bit her bottom lip and grabbed his lapels. "I will beg you with all my heart not to allow her death to stain our family, that's all. Even though a side of me wants revenge, another doesn't want the Mountain King to ever come back. King Thorin would have never killed Karunn, would he? My Thorin wouldn't have taken her life, right?" she shook her head feeling overwhelmed.
He raised his brow and huffed. "You make me sound like some kind of an enlightened creature when I am clearly not one. Maybe you should search for those in Lothlórien. I have a lot of hatred in me against the people who harmed you. People who continue to harm you...and our family."
She pressed her lips and looked towards his neck with uncertainty. "Thorin...please...don't transform into a monster because of Karunn. Don't allow her to turn you into something you are not."
"I promise I won't," he said quietly.
She gave him a sad smile and rubbed her forehead. "Alright."
"Does that mean you are allowing me to take back control?" he teased.
She closed her eyes. "Allow you control?...Have I ever taken it off your hands?"
His head swept down until his lips drew softly upon hers. Her breath hitched and her nails pressed the soft skin of his nape. "This time you almost did. Don't ever go behind my back again..." he warned with a soft tone as his breath sailed past her parted lips and merged with hers.
"Never..." she exhaled and closed her eyes in delight as his mouth fondled hers in a kiss that started up gentle and caring only to becoming growingly demanding a few moments later. She gasped between the teases of his tongue and teeth and tried to press her chest onto his, but failed due to her belly.
He felt it and sorted, genially amused.
She pulled back and frowned at him. "That's unfair!"
He raised his brow and moved her belly sideways, then his hand pulled her in by the waist until her chest pressed against his and he felt his stomach twisting with the usual fiery longing. Her tongue came out to taste the soft ridges of his lips and her palm cupped his cheek when he opened up to allow her the chance to explore him at her own leisure. His hand moved up her ribs with the playful intentions to palm the fulness of her breast, but his mind made him pull back. He brought her face under his neck instead and swallowed heavily. "Getting out of hand again."
"I can offer pleasure, remember?" she whispered and nipped the shivers of excitement on his skin. Her hand came down and grasped his tightly. Then she led it to her breast which he cupped with an appreciative moan of pleasure. Just as her other hand released his cheek and slid down his tunic in order to feel him, he stopped her. She pouted her lips at him. "I want to earn my forgiveness..." she said coyly.
"You have earned it already. Now pull back young lady. You want to offer me something?" he raised his brow trying to calm down the fiery reaction of his body to her touch.
She nodded eagerly. "Sure!"
He sat down on his stool and beckoned her. She approached and stood in front of him. He grabbed her quickly, spun her around and sat her on his knees. She yelped and laughed. "What are we doing?!"
He picked up the screwdriver and looked at it with a critical eye. She was gazing at him above her shoulder. He reached up and clasped her hand, then he placed the screwdriver in it. "You will find out where that damn creaking is coming from and you will tighten up the bolts so you can make it stop, before it drives me insane."
"I'll help with Rianneye's cradle?" she beamed back to him.
He shook his head. "I wonder what will happen if the baby turns out a boy. Will you use a girl's name on him?" he directed her hand to hold the tool the correct way.
"What makes you so certain it's going to be a boy I wonder..." she muttered and frowned at the bolt.
His large hand encircled hers and showed her how to use it. "The same certainty you have that it's going to be a girl." He rejoined.
"I remember that name from a dream!" she rebuked and took out all her annoyance on the cradle.
"Careful, you don't want to scratch the wood..." he warned and she adjusted the screwdriver.
"Sorry." she said truly drawn in by the work he was making her do.
"Who told you I don't see dreams also then..." he raised his brow as he observed her heavy thick mane resting below her waist.
She looked above her shoulder. "You saw that I am giving birth to a boy in your dreams?"
He turned her around. "Concentrate on your work, my dreams are not worth talking about, besides we still don't know if they are twins. I might need to make another cradle. Now I remember you telling me that Rhiannon was amazing at fixing things around the tavern. How come you are so worthless?" he said quietly as he split her hair into three parts and began creating a long braid down her back.
She snorted at his obvious tease. "I was better at singing, drawing and plowing the lands, if you should know! Not to mention I was a pretty decent archer!"
"I can vouch for that. Cooking?" he raised his brow.
"I was better at cooking too! Why are you asking?" she said and finished with the bolt. She moved it around to listen for any unwanted sounds.
"I am trying to make sure I chose the best maiden..." he said with a voice that was rippling with playfulness.
She grumbled and turned back at him with a fearless gaze. "You didn't just say that!"
He tilted his head and gave her a lopsided smile. "You are messing up the braid."
"And you are messing up with me and I hate it." Her lips pouted.
"If that's the worst punishment you'll get from me today, then feel blessed." He chuckled.
"I love you." She whispered, feeling truly blessed that this misunderstanding had been cleared up without leaving any dark traces onto their fragile relationship.
"I love you too," he smiled at her.
Even though her mind was still burdened with Karunn's punishment she felt serene after the moment she decided not to intervene anymore in Thorin's decisions. Allowing him to do a job that he had been doing for one hundred and fifty years already, overflowed her with a much needed peace. She longed to focus on their family and not all this intrigue. He was more equipped to deal with these nefarious affairs. All she wanted at that moment was to believe that he had forgiven her, that he could trust her and that maybe she could help him fix the creaking on this cradle.
She wanted to do everything to support him, when he was the one supporting the very foundations of Erebor...
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