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Disillusioned
It was at the second chime of the golden bell that Thorin's eyes opened up slowly. He was turned towards the window and Eilin was spooning behind him, one of her arms was tossed around his stomach and one of her feet was buried under his calf. Her ever growing bump was pressing on the small of his back. He quietened down his breath as his eyes got lost in the small crack that was at the side of the maroon curtains waiting to feel again what woke him up. He felt the kick and tried not to snort in genial amusement. He bit his lower lip and closed his eyes tight praying that he'd feel it once more. The baby didn't disappoint and soon enough another sensation tickled his spine as one of the baby's appendages rolled inside it's mother's belly. Apparently even though Eilin was still in deep sleep, the baby in her had awoken up for good. Thorin turned around and looked at her above his shoulder. Her mouth was half open and she was snoring rather heavily. Her hair was messy and some saliva had rolled down the side of her mouth staining her pillow, yet to him she looked utterly adorable and breathtakingly irresistible. As the pregnancy progressed she was becoming tired more easily and she had trouble sleeping at night because the baby or babies were unusually active. Something that didn't worry either Loa or Dis, but messed up with Eilin's much needed rest. Therefore whenever she managed to get into such restful sleep, Thorin made it his business that no one would bother her. That didn't extend to the occupant in her belly though.
The baby's activity hadn't woken her up, so that meant that she was truly fatigued. Thorin turned around in bed slowly in order not to arouse her and rested his head on his forearm. His hand came down and traced around her belly trying to feel where the baby was when a rather strong foot kicked it's father's palm away. Thorin pulled back truly surprised and held his breath. He looked down and saw a form twisting and turning inside his woman and his body was overtaken both by feelings of apprehension and utter amazement. He remained immovable as his eyes turned searchingly at Eilin. She snored loudly and moved her head bothered. The baby was slowly waking her up. She stretched and then settled down as Thorin counted the moments for her breath to become heavy again. Then he slipped towards her belly and approached his mouth in order to give the rather large lump, a kiss. He smiled. "Can you please keep it down in there? She needs to sleep." The lump moved slowly and changed position. Was it truly a head or was it a butt that he had kissed? He raised his brows at that thought and observed the lump as it twisted and turned slowly at first. Then it suddenly threw a rather might kick, making poor Eilin wince and mumble something unintelligible in her sleep.
Thorin placed his large palm over it and caressed it gently. "Hey little man...calm down the ancient spirit in you. Your mother needs to rest..." he whispered right onto her belly. The lump took another turn or two and then as if listening to its father it seemed to settle down. He kissed her belly and began caressing it softly, but his mind didn't remain in the comfortable confinements of their chambers. It got involved with the tough decisions that he had ahead of him. Decisions that would satisfy some people and leave others in deep anguish. So many people had been wronged and needed to see justice served.
Thorin didn't hesitate to admit to himself, as he had admitted to Eilin last night that he was at a loss about Karunn's fate. His wife was pleading for him to spare her life, something that spoke to Thorin's heart deeply. He knew it took a lot more bravery to walk next to your enemies, than to eliminate them, but he didn't know if he was as brave as his wife on that front. He was also convinced that Eilin wouldn't be the only one pleading for Karunn's life. Fain would soon join in. As for Dain, he wouldn't back up from his decision to avenge and clear up the name of their family.
So there he was as always stuck in the middle, trying to balance everything. He remembered the wise words of his grandfather. When Thror told stories about the Kings of old to Thorin, they always ended up with the same words. "Great leaders have to take tough decisions and sometimes a hard and a just decision are one and the same."
Thorin was aware that the decision he had to take was not an easy one and that it would speak mostly about his ability to have a balanced rule, and less about the heinous crimes of Karunn. Sometimes he felt tired of everything and in need to remain in the arms of his woman, forgetting how demanding the world had always been with him. In his dreams he could allow someone else to take over those decisions and burden his soul with their aftermaths, but in reality he knew it was his shoulders that were going to bear all that weight, as always. As he was contemplating on everything he felt Eilin stirring under him and knew she was close to waking up from all that activity in her belly. He began humming a soft tune on her stomach and his deep tone left a resonance in the room that raised Eilin's hair in attention. "Hmmmm calm down young man."
She was already floating between sleep and alertness due to the merciless kicks in her belly, but Thorin's voice soothed her down instantly. She closed her eyes wanting to delight in the way he was talking to their baby, not wanting to stop him for any reason.
"Calm down and I promise I will take you to see Mirrormere again one day." He said in a hushed tone.
Eilin looked down at him quietly and felt her chest welling. Her hand came down and touched his shoulder. He looked up sharply and then touched his forehead to her belly. "Did he wake you up?"
She smiled sweetly. "I cannot get over how certain you are that it's a boy..."
Thorin scrounged his lips and flicked his shoulders. "Instincts?" He lied.
Her eyes smiled down at him and she twisted her finger around his warrior braid. "You speaking to our baby is the most precious thing..."
He huffed. "I was telling him to calm down...he's too active."
Eilin stretched. "I don't mind. I know that they are healthy in there."
"He is not allowing you to have any rest. You look absolutely spent." He was seriously worried about the dark circles under her eyes.
"I'd like to see the magical lake the song is talking about also." Eilin whispered.
"It lays on the east-gate of Khazad-dûm and it's still waters mirror the stars on a clear night." He said softly.
"Have you ever seen it?" She searched his face.
"I fought for it. My whole family died for it and everything back then was buried under the clouds of a most bloody war. We didn't manage to reclaim it, only to decapitate our family. The Dwarrowdelf has been secured from the outside world for ages. It is overtaken by orcs that came down from the north and was given the name Moria after that. Durin's bane still resides in there, covering these ancient halls with it's malevolence."
"Moria?" she frowned.
"The pit...it's empty of our legacy. I don't want to visit the lake now and come face to face with those sealed doors for my skin will crawl. There will come a time later when I might decide to come for it again." His voice fell.
"Would you ever wage war in order to reclaim it?" her brows twisted worriedly.
"In a heartbeat if I knew we had a chance of defeating them. That's not reality now. Erebor needs to recruit. It needs to strengthen and take up roots. If I wage war in Moria I will spread death to all these families that came here for a new beginning. There is always a time for everything. The time now is for peace, not anymore wars." He rejoined thoughtfully.
"I am so happy I heard that. I cannot fathom you going away into battle, especially now that I am pregnant Thorin." Her brows creased with uncertainty.
He smiled upon her belly, but the baby moved again and made her wince in pain. She stretched and grabbed her back with a hiss. "Oh, heavens...I am going to have a really hard time later on."
"Do you want me to rub your back?" He asked worried.
She nodded and turned around showing him where it hurt the most. "Yes, please. It is killing me..." she murmured. Her hand reached and grabbed his, leading it to her waist.
He pushed with his strong fingers and mauled her spine. "Here?"
She moaned and arched against him. "Oh, yes right there...oh...that's heavenly...please don't stop..." She exhaled and closed her eyes.
He massaged her gently for a long time, listening to her deep exhalations of relief until finally her breath became heavy again. Then he laid down and rested his hand on her belly, instinctively searching for that small lump. When he found it, it stirred under him for a moment before settling down again. He exhaled on her nape and picked up her hair setting them on the pillow above her head to keep her from sweating too much.
"Sleep...I will stand guard," he reassured her. Her fingers squeezed his wrist once before her breathing declared that she was drawn deep into the world of dreams once more. Thorin allowed her to snuggle into his arms and sleep quietly for a long time, but sleep didn't come easily for him. When he felt his left side numb and suffering from staying still for so long he withdrew his arm gently. She stirred for a moment and then settled down allowing him to get out of bed and visit the bathroom. He changed clothes and with one last look to her, he closed the door behind him. The moment he came out the guards at the flanks of his doors presented arms.
"No one bothers the Queen on pain of death," he told them sternly.
They started presenting arms again and he reached out and grabbed their war axes keeping them aloft. "And that includes you! Keep it down for heaven's sake!" he hissed at them.
The guards looked at each other fearfully and then at the King. When he released their axes they presented arms as silently as possible. Something that would have been entertaining for him at any other time, at that moment only served to piss him off.
As the King left the guards gave each other another careful look and then crisscrossed their weapons in front of the royal doors.
Thorin walked around his Kingdom for a long time. He went to overlook some restorations in one of the eastern common caverns, he visited the bolted up mining drift that held behind it the famous by now, Mithril vein. He made a sudden appearance in the barracks and took everyone by surprise when he commanded them sternly to perform their battle formations. In the end when he was satisfied that everything was running smoothly he got ready to return to his office, but instead his footsteps led him in front of his throne. He remained there looking thoughtfully up at the Arkenstone and the place held an eerie silence. No ghosts were standing at the flanks of the throne judging his decisions this time and he felt the unexpected urge to take a seat in it. He approached and remained immovable for several deliberate moments before he finally took the leap of faith. When he sat on it, he expected to feel like he was on top of burning coals, but slowly realised that these were nothing more than games his mind was playing and not reality. The Seven had accepted him as their King. His rule was indisputable not only in Erebor, but in every single Dwarven city of Middle Earth. Why should this throne scare him so much when it was completely under his control? With that thought he leaned back and rested his elbow on the arm of the throne. He remained there buried into deep thoughts, partly enjoying how quiet it was, until Balin's happy voice broke through his contemplations.
"A most unexpected surprise!" His advisor came before him and bowed deeply. "Your majesty."
Thorin cringed. "Can you just drop it?"
Balin's eyes opened up shocked. "Of course I cannot! Seeing you sit on what was always rightfully yours can only bring tears to my eyes and a renewed fervour to protect your rule! You are an extraordinary ruler whom I've had the honour of following for many years and I hope Mahal shall bless me to follow you until I close my eyes!"
Thorin exhaled and observed his advisor closely. "It's too early to become this emotional. What are you doing awake at this hour?"
"Fili was supposed to train with the royal guards, bu the was not in a good condition. He asked Dwalin's help as he was trying to recover from a rather vicious hangover. I woke up with them as my head is pounding also." Balin sounded rueful.
"Hangover?" Thorin's lips twisted up into a smile.
"Drinking competition between him, me, Gloin, Dori, Oin, Durar and Bjarki." Balin flicked his shoulders.
"Who won?" Thorin couldn't help the question.
"Me of course!" Balin grinned proudly.
Thorin shook his head. "You bloody troll..."
"Jealous your majesty?" Balin looked at him teasingly.
"Not really..." -he hesitated- "I mean ...I don't know."
"Next time you'll join us. Being a husband and a father shouldn't stop you from having fun with some friends every now and again, right?" Balin looked at him sweetly.
"I suppose not...no." Thorin's smile didn't feel so certain.
"So what woke you up this early then?" Balin crossed his arms.
"My child..." Thorin's brows lifted up simultaneously at the realisation of what he just said.
Balin laughed. "Oh, the burdens of fatherhood are already falling heavy on you, aren't they?"
Thorin nodded feeling exhausted. "They are."
"And the child is not even born yet. Wait...it's going to become even worse. I predict both you and Eilin will have dark circles under your eyes by the end of this year!" Balin smirked.
"Still I wouldn't change this for the world," Thorin's countenance cracked slightly.
Balin's smile faded. "i know laddie."
Thorin remained silent.
"Tell me, can I do anything for you? Did you have any breakfast?" Balin said intent on pleasing his friend.
"No, no breakfast, but maybe there is something you can do indeed." Thorin threw his tense gaze at his advisor.
"Anything laddie..." Balin rejoined eagerly.
Thorin scrounged his lips pensively and remained silent for several moments. When he finally spoke his voice was deeply calculative. "The three thieves that were caught sniffing around Mirkwood..."
"Yes?" Balin crossed his arms.
"What's their condition?" Thorin frowned.
"They are ready to kill each other. Been passing around the blame about their imprisonment. I'd say spirits are highly tense down there." Balin tilted his head.
Thorin raised his brow. "Has Rhiannon recognised her attacker?"
Balin scrounged his lips. "Attackers. One is the brother of the leader apparently and the other one his cousin."
Thorin leaned back and caressed his bearded chin thoughtfully. "Execute the ones Rhiannon recognised in front of their leader."
Balin sighed. "Very well. The leader, won't we execute him also?"
"No, release him in the forest of the River Running and put two guards on his tail. They are to make sure he remains in the vicinity of our forest and he doesn't try to escape. Call me one of those guards up here now, I want to have a word with him." Thorin rejoined and his eyes were ruminative.
"Release him? Why the hell do you wish to release that filth in our forest?" Balin seemed socked.
"Just as a small backup..." Thorin raised his brow.
"A backup? You are making no sense laddie." Balin exhaled annoyed through his nose.
"I don't have to make sense. Now take care of it." Thorin said dismissively and leaned his head back pensively.
Balin bowed feeling more and more confused by Thorin's unexpected orders. "On it immediately."
By early afternoon the door of Thorin's office began knocking insistently. He looked up from some engineering maps he was studying about the mine shaft that held in it's bowels the Mithril vein. Gloin who was leaning above the maps with the King looked up sharply.
"Aren't you going to answer?" he asked.
"If it isn't important they'll give up after a few knocks. I really want us to discuss the possibilities of this tunnel." Thorin gazed down, deeply absorbed by the schematics on the map. Gloin turned his attention onto the map also, while the knocking stopped. Just as the men were getting concentrated on their discussion the knocks resumed and this time a voice accompanied them.
"Tell me you are in there for Mahal's sake and that you are ignoring us on purpose!" Dain grumbled.
Thorin looked at Gloin with a cringe of regret. "I need to take this one. Can you handle the maps alone?"
Gloin rolled them up quickly. "I have everything don't worry!"
The door opened up rather violently and Dain entered in a whirlwind of urgency, but Fain bypassed his brother quickly and rushed in front of Thorin's office. His eyes were bloodshot and pouring with tears. "Karunn told me...Mahal should have made me deaf before I encountered her confession about what happened my Lord, my King, my captain! Please please...help me...help my family, I beseech you!" Fain stammered.
Thorin turned at Gloin. "Please go."
Gloin bowed sharply and closed the door quietly behind him.
Thorin stood up and rounded the desk. He looked at Dain. "Why didn't you wait for me before going to Karunn?"
Dain crossed his arms. "Been searching for you ever since the break of dawn. I couldn't hold him...understand me."
Thorin gave him a soft nod. "I understand" -then he turned towards Fain- "Do you need to take a seat?"
Fain's knees unlocked and he fell to the ground. He bowed his head to Thorin's carpet. "Karunn told me everything...may the demon of Morgoth take my soul! She told me what she did to the royal family!"
Thorin came down to one knee next to Fain and touched his shaking back. "Can you please stand up?" he asked trying to keep his own emotions in check from seeing his friend this broken.
Fain shook his head fiercely. "No, never! I will crawl at your feet till the end of my days just to beg you to give her another chance! To give my family another chance!"
Thorin's eyes crossed Dain's and a sharp negation came from his strict cousin. He swallowed heavily.
"Fain, ultimate treason against the state must be taken to a trial." Thorin said.
Fain looked up with wild eyes full of terror. "A trial...oh Mahal...Dain...the name of our family...I am so sorry...please forgive me!" he looked back at Dain in despair.
"Your brother did the best he could to protect your family name and Valdis." Thorin stood up and leaned back to his desk.
"I know he wanted to protect me, but how can anyone protect a parent who has been failed by his own child? By his own flesh and blood! It's her mother...she was too lenient...gave her too many prerogatives..." -Fain began a pained monologue- "No, it wasn't only her mother, it was me also because I allowed all this to unfold behind my back. I created a monster and I understood how many mistakes I've made only when Valdis was born. That is why I decided to act differently with my youngest daughter. I took her away from my wife's influence early on. I tried harder on her...I tried."
Thorin nodded. "You have succeeded in Lady Valdis."
A shudder ran down Fain's back and it was clearly visible. "But I failed with Karunn and now look at us...Thorin...what is the worst fate for her after this trial?" His voice shook hard as did his body.
Thorin didn't hesitate. "Death by public execution."
Fain cried and grasped the stones at the floor for support. "NOOOOO!" he bellowed.
Dain broke apart then on seeing his beloved brother so pained. He rushed and took him in his arms. "Please don't...this is going to kill you..."
Thorin felt his heart torn apart by the anguish of this father and tried to push away the thoughts of his impending fatherhood.
"I can't breathe Dain...they are going to kill her. I don't know if I failed her or if she failed me!" Fain clutched onto the arms of his brother. He felt forlorn. "I don't know whom I wish to kill more. Myself or Kaia!"
Dain gritted his teeth. "You must sustain through this trial brother!"
Fain shook his head in agony and forced himself to look up at Thorin. "What is the best scenario from this trial my Lord?"
"Judging by how many witnesses are willing to testify against her, I'd say only death." Thorin responded quietly.
Fain squeezed his eyes tight. "Can't you fix this? I beg you! Don't allow the witnesses to come forth. Give her a chance to live in exile...please!"
Thorin's lips pressed tightly. "That cannot be done forgive me. I will not lie about the dire situation that befell not only the royal family, but so many others because of your oldest daughter's actions. Neither will I be lenient to her."
Fain sobbed and leaned his head onto Dain's shoulder who gritted his teeth.
"Karunn's scheming almost cost me the life of the Queen and my unborn child..." Thorin's back crawled.
Fain tore away from his brother and grasped Thorin's thighs. "She's inexcusable, but please find it in your heart to allow her to live! In exile, branded and shaved, but don't kill her. I will not try to excuse her actions for they were vile and evil, but hear the woe of a father who is seeing his child being led to the gallows pole. Please please...allow her to live and I promise on my word of honour she will never come near your or your family ever again! Please!" He beseeched.
Thorin clasped Fain's shoulders and felt the strong shudders that were rushing through his body. "You wish for a Royal prerogative of mercy?"
Fain looked up in anguish. "Yes. I offer my life in the stead of hers. Allow her to live away from Erebor...and I shall die for her crimes!" His face was tearstained and his blue lips were trembling.
Thorin shook his head. "You want me to ignore all the people that came to danger from her and bury this under the carpet." He didn't want to hide behind words.
Fain hesitated long and hard before nodding. "You are going to be a father soon. Only then shall you understand the pain that shreds my heart apart at this moment! I learned what she did and if I could I would have killed her myself, but she's my child! My own flesh and blood! I don't want her to die. I will do everything I can to see her alive!" he whispered.
Thorin's nape crawled with fury and he stood up sharply. "Don't tell me that I need to witness the birth of my child in order to understand how a father feels! I raised my siblings and my nephews from mere babies. The father in me had always been alive!" His voice dropped low.
Fain covered his face and weeped. Dain looked up at Thorin with eyes that spoke volumes. They held each other's heavy gaze for several moments before Thorin leaned on his desk again feeling waisted by the psychological pressure Fain was putting on him.
"I cannot let my daughter die..." -Fain muttered- "You may have raised all these children, but you haven't felt the life of your flesh and blood slipping through your fingers."
Dain gritted his teeth. "How about the little pumpkin then? She did nothing wrong. She's just a victim in this and she needs you in her life..."
Fain looked at his brother totally devastated. "My beloved little girl."
Dain's pale lips cracked a bitter smile. "The one you raised exactly as you wanted. The one that is making you proud right now..."
Fain nodded and grasped Dain's shoulders. "I want to be alive for my youngest daughter..."
"Then allow the law to judge the despicable deeds of your oldest daughter and give a clean name to Lady Valdis for the future," Thorin said meaningfully. Dain looked at him knowing that he meant Prince Fili.
Fain trembled as he cradled himself in front of Thorin's feet for several silent moments. When he spoke his voice was barely heard. "Please release her...I will make sure she disappears. Give her judgement to me..."
"Do I have such a power perchance?" Thorin looked at the fireplace reflectively.
"Don't you? You can release her right at this moment..." Fain looked up with a faint glimmer of hope.
"You are not the first one to ask me of this..." Thorin whispered with a frown.
Dain looked up sharply.
"Nevertheless you must understand that I am not the only one Karunn has to answer to. She's wronged many people and it is my job to see justice served to her. A simple branding and allowing her to ran loose in the wild is not enough punishment for everything she did. Don't I know you Fain, perchance?" Thorin tilted his head.
Fain paled.
"You are honourable and courageous beyond count, yet you are weak when it comes to your children." Thorin continued.
"Something you cannot judge before holding your own children in your hands! Don't be so rush to serve me such judgment, for it may befall on your head in the future Thorin, please...!" Fain's voice was broken.
"And so it might. If a time comes for me to face such heinous deliberations then I might possibly fail. I am not omnipotent Fain. I will probably beg for my children's lives to be spared, much like you, much like any father. Nevertheless I won't expect the one who was wronged to hear my pleads." Thorin's face fell.
Fain's shoulders slouched, but he remained silent.
"I cannot pretend I am without blemish Fain. I might fail my children like you have failed yours. That only remains to be seen. Right now though I am required to serve justice to a woman that spread death and destruction not only to the royal family, but to many others."
Dain shook his head discreetly and Thorin frowned.
Fain shook to the core as he looked up lost "Maybe if I talked to them...if I prayed at their feet..."
Dain stood up sharply. "No! That's...enough! Stop this Thorin I beseech you!" he cried and Thorin saw the tears edging the eyes of this powerful warrior.
Thorin looked down at Fain. "If Karunn's judgement gets out of my hands, it will befall into the hands of others."
Fain shook his head. "Let it befall on other hands, since no other hand is mightier and heavier than yours."
"Hands over whom I will have no control," Thorin's voice warned.
"You control the seven Dwarven Kingdoms. There is no one out of your reach Thorin!" Fain frowned.
"I didn't say that I cannot control, I said I will not control." Thorin raised his brow.
Fain hesitated. "Cannot you protect her from them?"
"If I decide against taking her to trial I will not release her without having her face those whom she has wronged. I am just one person, there are many others hurt that demand justice." Thorin rejoined.
"Others you can eliminate..." Fain twisted his fingers with wide eyes full of hope. "You can still save her."
"Other I will not eliminate. On that I insist," Thorin said sternly.
Fain rubbed his beard trying to think how he could slither his daughter out of this impossibly tight spot. "Alright. Let her face those whom she has wronged, just please remove the impossible burden of your mighty hand from her."
Thorin leaned back thoughtfully. "Give me time to think."
Fain's fingers trembled as he clutched Thorin's forearm. "Please...I'll do anything for you. I'll give you my life...spare her!"
Thorin took firm hold of Fain's shaking shoulders and pulled him in a warm embrace. "Do me a favour. Go and stay with your younger daughter who needs you so much and allow me the time to recollect all that you've told me. When a decision is reached I will inform you."
Fain looked back at his brother fearfully and then drew in and kissed Thorin's hand with fervour. "Thank you...thank you...may Mahal bless the child in the Queen's womb...thank you...thank you."
Thorin shook his head. "I am not holding your daughter's pardon in my hands yet, so don't thank me."
Fain looked at the King in misery until Dain wrapped his arm under Fain's shoulder and supported him to the door. They exchanged a few words and Dain closed the door behind him. He leaned on it and looked at Thorin debilitated.
"He doesn't know the whole truth." He muttered.
"I figured as much." Thorin walked to the armchair by the fire and emptied himself in it.
"He doesn't know she manipulated my little pumpkin to a suicide attempt, or that she went to bed with a married man back in the Ironhills behind everyone's back. He is not in the mental state to even question where Nyrthrasir comes into this and what his daughter had to do with him. He is seriously suspicious that the cuts on Valdis' wrists were not created because she played with a couple of knives. He's recognised that this resembles a suicide attempt but he's either unwilling to believe it, or he simply cannot handle it right now on top of Karunn's nefarious affairs. He's going to break down completely in the end." Dain approached the fireplace and leaned his elbow on the mantelpiece.
"He will come around in the end. He will ask more questions, both about Valdis' wounds and about Nyrthrasir. What are you going to do then? Continue with the fairytales?" Thorin raised his brow.
"I don't know Thorin honestly. You saw how broken he is now. If what he already knows doesn't kill him, then finding out that his daughter acted like a whore with a married man, that she killed indirectly an unborn child and that she endangered her baby sister will!"
Thorin steepled his fingers reflectively and looked at the flames.
"I failed him. I tried to protect him, didn't I?" Dain's eyes closed tiredly.
"You did..." Thorin agreed.
"I tried to protect my little pumpkin but failed also..." the tone of regret in his voice was heavy.
"How can anyone hide the hell that this woman created? It's impossible Dain, you are asking too much out of yourself." Thorin said quietly.
"I know. Karunn woke up too many nightmares, but I was desperate to keep my family from falling apart. I wasn't able to do it..." Dain rubbed his eyes.
"Karunn tried to strangle my wife a few days ago...I had her in my hands and felt her heartbeat under my fingertips. She's lucky to be alive and your brother lucky not to be aware of the full extend of her evil mind." Thorin rejoined with a tone that dropped several octaves as another wave of wrath sailed down his back at that memory.
Dain looked up sharply and his eyes pooled with tears. "Justice must be served and you are the only one able to do it! Don't listen to my brother please. She's a menace...a fiend who destroyed the name of my family and almost killed your family! I hate having to beg for the death of my own niece, but I am not blinded like my brother. I can see her vileness and I fear it. She tried to kill the Queen...she tried to kill my little niece, my beloved girl. How will my poor pumpkin stand proudly next to Prince Fili with such a sister Thorin? Tell me that...This is going to break not only Fain, but Valdis." Dain's voice began elevating. "You not only need to protect your own family, but mine also. Fain cannot see how dangerous Karunn is...he's too blinded by the pain he feels for his children."
Thorin sighed deeply.
Dain hesitated when he saw the King unresponsive. "You said Fain's request for a pardon wasn't the only one. Who else asked you to spare her?"
"My wife," came the hard response and Dain froze.
"Oh heavens..." Dain cupped his mouth and tears rolled over his fingers.
Thorin inclined his head. "You think you failed your family. I fear I shall fail mine too..." he whispered eerily.
Dain swallowed heavily and his jawline flexed. "What will your decision be then?"
Thorin gazed at him quietly for several moments and then looked back into the fire. "I don't know yet cousin. Give him me time to think."
Dain approached and grasped Thorin's forearm. The King's brooding eyes engaged Dain's and their hands tightened around each other's arms. Dain inclined his head and feeling totally heartbroken he left to go see his brother and younger niece. Thorin remained quietly absorbed by the intricate patterns of the fire licking up through the wood for a long time.
When the door opened up again it was Dis' tired eyes that made their appearance at the crack. "Hi wolf."
He looked at her for a moment, feeling lost in deep thought. "Hi gerbil."
"You in the mood for a visit?" she cracked a smile.
His lips curled up softly. "Not sure."
Dis came in and sat on the armchair next to his. She extended her hands in order to warm them up at the fire. "You look dreadfully worn out."
He humphed. "I am."
Dis remained quiet.
"Eilin was right..." he left the thought float untouched between them.
Dis frowned. "Whatever for?"
"We shouldn't have left the Shire." He said reflectively.
Dis pursed her lips. "No matter your need to hide from the world I know how responsible you are wolf. You wouldn't have allowed Fili to get dragged down by this hell."
Thorin sighed. "I feel sucked again...into a vortex I never asked for."
"If you mean that damned situation with Karunn then I see no vortex anywhere. If you mean your rule...everything has been sorted out the moment you returned. The riots immediately seized and peace rules. Everyone is working happily for a bright future here in Erebor under your Kingship. All your alliances stand strong and your rule is stronger than ever in Middle Earth. You are holding the seven Dwarven families in the hollow of your palm. I see no other vortex than this damned woman, who should have been eliminated several moons ago."
"You don't take into consideration how many times I've been tripped up." Thorin raised his brow.
"Your wife made several serious mistakes in this affair." Dis pursed her lips.
"She has such a loving and soft heart..." his forehead creased with worry.
"Which almost killed her...who told you to take your wife's requests so seriously? Did Thrain take mom's guilt trips seriously on matters of state perchance? Tell Eilin to forget the whole deal and execute that damned bitch! Rid us all of the trouble!"
"Her father begs for lenience. He wants a royal pardon..." Thorin continued.
"Which I hope you won't give. That blood bitch almost strangled my sister in law!" Dis snapped.
"Valdis required her own closure..." Thorin rejoined unfazed.
"Which almost killed her too..." Dis gritted her teeth. He looked at her coldly and she raised her hand. "Okay, I get it. You have all these people around you, pestering you with their own view of this affair and how it's supposed to be handled, but the final decision is up to you Thorin. Clear up the name of our family. Protect your wife. Do you trust her alive while your child roams the lands free? I don't and neither does my poor son who is now afraid about Valdis' health and safety. I had a talk with Fili and he wants Karunn dead also. He doesn't want her to come close to his beloved again...no matter how much I hate calling this girl a beloved of my son, I cannot deny that Fili is right." Dis sat back and crossed her arms.
Thorin's brows wavered with indecision. "My boy is afraid for Valdis' life?"
Dis looked at him long and hard. "After what happened what did you expect him? He's bloody terrified and I've never seen Fili terrified of anything in his life. You know how courageous and brave he always was. This woman has managed to break him also. He cares for this woman deeply and I care for him. Thorin too many people are affected by this, not just you or Eilin."
"Eilin asked me to spare Karunn." Thorin crossed his arms and looked at the fire.
The silence from Dis fell heavy. "Bloody idiotic girl..." she hissed after a moment.
"Silence your mouth!" Thorin's voice dropped in a curt warning.
Dis bit her lower lip. "Karunn almost killed her. Hadn't your arrival been so timely, Eilin would have been dead now as well as that precious child in her loins. Eilin is not thinking clearly."
"I understand her." Thorin said quietly.
"What?!" Dis frowned in total shock.
"It takes more courage to spare a life than to take one gerbil.* Eilin is braver than any of us who want to eliminate Karunn. She's brave enough to want to spare the life of this filth and walk this earth alongside her sworn enemies." he spoke reflectively.
"Karunn damaged too many people. Eilin is too soft hearted, too good willed, too kind spirited for the evilness of Karunn. She doesn't comprehend the magnitude of this even though she almost died by her several times over. You see the bravery in Eilin, I see a wounded child who doesn't want to hurt a fly." Dis tried to put things into perspective for him.
Thorin didn't reply.
"Eilin has been hurt so many times in the past. She's lived through hell. She still is a soft hearted child who doesn't want to see anyone hurt, not even her enemies. That doesn't mean that her view of things is clear and must be taken into consideration. She's speaking from a place of deep wounds that still need healing. Heal them for her, but not by sparing the life of a woman that destroyed so many of us." Dis reached out and grasped his hand.
Thorin looked up heavily.
"You don't have only one child in your hands...you don't even have two in case they are twins. You have three..." Dis' eyes became pained.
Thorin's brows wavered and his lips parted.
"Eilin is another child you have in your possession wether you like it or not. A child that needs guidance at times." Dis gave him a tender nod and her eyes filled with tears.
He averted his eyes to the fire.
"You know that's true. When she took Valdis to see Karunn it was not the Queen acting through her as it had been in the case of the Arkenstone, but a hurt child that didn't want to see anyone else equally hurt. Eilin is deeply empathetic, exactly because she has grown up shrouded in misery." Dis continued carefully.
Thorin's lips pursed critically.
"The Queen in her got overtaken by the hurt child that wanted desperately to comfort Valdis without stopping to think of the consequences. I hope you didn't yell at her much for that. It would have been like yelling to a child for falling into a lake to rescue the toy of their best friend." Dis' lips broke into a sad smile.
"I didn't yell at her..." Thorin said defeated.
Dis leaned back. "Yes, didn't think so. She was all happy and bright when Loa was trying to check her belly this morning for the twins."
Thorin sat up and leaned his elbows at his knees. The memory of Galadriel's mirror that had showed him not only his son, but also a beautiful young woman returned. He remembered also Eilin's certainty that she was carrying a girl. "And?" he asked eagerly.
Dis smiled at the innocence of his face when he inquired about his children. She remembered her own husband and how he had reacted at her pregnancy with Fili and her eyes turned wistful. "She has a difficulty tracing them, but there is a possibility a second one is hiding somewhere close to Eilin's spine." -At that Thorin cringed and felt a shudder sailing down his back. Dis laughed. "My brother, the mightiest warrior of the seven Kingdoms is freaking out over a description of his wife's insides ..."
"Just drop it. You said there was a possibility a baby is hiding..." he gave her an eager nod to continue.
"Oh, yes maybe it's hiding behind the large baby that's taking up most of Eilin's belly. That one is huge apparently, but Loa cannot be certain yet of a second one. We have to wait." Dis flicked her shoulders.
"Huge?" Thorin's demeanour took a plunge.
"Eilin will have her hands full upon delivery. It won't be easy..." Dis cringed.
He cupped his chin and caressed his beard thoughtfully.
"She'll do just fine, don't worry. Mom was in labour three days in order to manage to push you out. You were massive!" Dis said truly amused by his adorable worry.
He waved her away feeling rather annoyed. "Mother was much sturdier than my poor woman. Eilin is so fragile...so dainty..."
Dis cupped his knee. "She's a woman. Her body is meant to create life and deliver it. I'll be there with her, don't worry. She's going to do brilliantly."
"Women die in delivery Dis..." his voice dropped and his eyes gleamed with dread.
"She's not going to die...Oh come on! Don't get into another nightmare fuelled trip until Eilin comes into labour please. It won't do the poor woman any good for you to be on edge for the duration of her pregnancy. She's already having many aches throughout her body and she still has about three or more moons to grow. Erase that terrified look from your eyes and trust in me, Loa and all the other midwives to do our job properly okay?" Dis tried to reassure him.
He swallowed heavily and looked at his hands. "I will try."
She sighed deeply. "We strayed from the subject quite extensively..." she mentioned carefully.
He shook his head. "Good..."
Dis pursed her lips, not wanting to give her brother too much slack. "Don't allow Eilin's childlike kindness and Fain's parental instincts stop you from doing what had to be done a long time ago please."
His face fell and lost all the brightness it had gained when they were talking about Eilin's pregnancy. "I have to think...Dis allow me some peace and quiet." His gaze became absorbed by the fire once more. Dis stood up and before leaving she gave him a wholehearted embrace that he reciprocated.
"Don't stay buried up here too long. Go to your wife and offer her some comfort." Dis said softly.
"I will," she squeezed her forearm.
"Whatever you decide, put Eilin's safety first. Your child's second and third if you can put the safety of my possible daughter in law." Dis said with obvious hesitation on the last part.
Thorin looked at her with a lopsided smile. "You are slowly coming to terms with Fili's choice?"
"I lost one son to war. I am scared I will lose the other one to love. If he wants her I won't stand in his way." Dis wiped the few tears that escaped her eyes quickly.
"I am proud of you gerbil," he said softly and cuddled her warmly for several moments before she pulled away.
"I am off to prepare a treatment for Eilin's back pains. I'll leave it in your rooms. Use it on her whenever she has difficulties. I have a feelings she's going to have strong back labour when the time comes." Dis frowned.
"What the hell is that now?" he looked at her confused.
"If the baby is facing up it will cause a lot of discomfort in Eilin's tailbone. Back labours are much more painful than normal contractions. I've had back labour with Kili. I cursed my poor husband to the fires of Mount Doom during delivery." Dis snorted at the memory.
"You are not making me calm down.." Thorin frowned deeply at her.
She caressed his bearded chin playfully. "All will be well. Trust us women to do what we were born to do."
When she closed the door behind her, he pursed his lips. "Right..." he mumbled and then decided to dig out one of the untouched bottles of mead he had left in his office during his debilitating state after his separation from Eilin and drink some in order to calm down from his talk with Dis. Now not only was he truly bothered by the difficult position he was in with Karunn, he was also beginning to have tendrils of apprehension licking up his spine about Eilin's pregnancy and the delivery of their child. He remembered when he told her how ready he was to take on fatherhood back at the Shire. He cringed at the stupidity of that statement because only now was he beginning to feel the immensity of it all. It took him half a bottle of mead to return to Eilin in order to pass their time walking quietly by the River Running as the stars made their appearance in the sky. Now that the weather was milder she enjoyed their long walks and he always made sure he had time for her.
It took Thorin two days of heavy deliberation to reach a decision and during that time he avoided talking with Fain, Dain or Eilin about this affair. He didn't visit any of the prisoners and he didn't read any of the Laws of the Elders. He already knew everything he needed to know. When he was finally ready he called Dwalin.
"You called me?" his friend crossed his arms imposingly.
Thorin's eyes were emanating a twilight Dwalin hadn't seen since the King's abdication. "Karunn is to be moved in the morning with a safe carriage."
Dwalin crossed his arms. "Where to?"
"The training grounds." Thorin rejoined.
"Very well." Dwalin bowed and made ready to leave when Thorin stopped him.
"Prepare to move one more prisoner at the same time and use a different carriage." Thorin's eyes thinned slyly.
Dwalin frowned deeply. "Who?"
Thorin raised his brow and looked thoughtfully at the valley beneath him from his beloved top rampart, as the sun was setting behind Ravenhill.
He remained silent.
A/N:
*Small easter egg for anyone who might recognise it. Not my words.
- A small shout out to Nancy who has been with us for a long time. I always love your enthusiasm girl. Take care and thank you *.*
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