"Ladies," Kaiser said, the sound of his armor loud in the suddenly quiet room. He'd gotten up, and started to leave when everyone just stopped and looked at him. It was eerie. "I understand that this has been a trying time, and be assured that I will—"
"I bet he paid the Undersiders!"
Wait, what? How did they even come to that conclusion!?
"Yeah! He's going to hold the bay hostage! Make me pay out through the nose or listen to my kid's crying!"
Kaiser looked behind him at the Santa Grotto. There was a door behind that, and he could leave with dignity.
"I assure you, that I had nothing to do with—"
"If we get him, we get the figures! GET HIM!"
Fuck dignity! Kaiser spun around and ran like Lung was on his tail. He vaulted over the Santa chair, the howling, bloodthirsty mob of angry housewives hot on his tail.
He charged for the service door, getting to it just barely ahead of the outstretched hands and purses. There was another person there, one of the elves, also heading for salvation.
"Close the door, close the door!" Kaiser shouted. The elf helped him slam the door shut, and then, oddly, the door… changed. Became utterly solid, almost like it had been…
Kaiser looked down at the elf staring up at him, wearing an elf suit and a familiar mask.
"Clockblocker?"
"The outer doors are locked!" the hero said."They didn't want people shoplifting and we're like, trapped in here!"
"Your powers make the door invulnerable," Kaiser said. "We're safe, I mean, unless…" A sound started filtering through the room. "Unless they take a fire ax to the walls around the door. Of course."
"Why do they want you!"
"They think that I organized the theft. You?"
"They want to hold me hostage so Santa will bring more figures."
Only in fucking Brockten Bay.
"I can't freeze the entire room!" Clockblocker said. "They're going to come in here and they're going to—"
"Calm down!" Kaiser said. "There is a way out of here… This is on the third story so…" He reached out with his power, driving blades into the walls until he heard a thunk. "Good, a dumbwaiter. Keep freezing the doors!" Kaiser ran and started ripping plaster apart, until he got to the shaft. It was oddly narrow for a freight elevator, and sloped, but was a way out. "You go first!"
"Why me!"
Kaiser sighed. "Because I'm the one with the armor!" The hero needed no other urging and quickly dove into the shaft, quickly vanishing. Kaiser started backing off, even as the freeze effect ended and the door collapsed inward. With one outflung hand, he raised a fence of blades to keep them away and then dove for the elevator.
God, what's that smell. Haven't they cleaned-
And then he heard the horrifying words from below as Clockblocker screamed.
"It's a garbage chute from the food court!"
In a room at the center of ABB territory, there was quiet as Lung sat down on his chair, kicked his shoes off and leaned back into it. There was no disorder, no panic.
For Lung was the dragon.
And Lung always finished his Christmas Shopping by November 15th. A smile on his face, he cued up the TV for his Christmas tradition, a marathon of all the Rankin Bass Christmas specials.
Just as planned.