"WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!" Piggot bellowed as she burst into the command center. "I told those two to not get in trouble!"

"The Undersiders robbed the mall, getting all of the action figures," Renick said. "Information is sketchy, but it sounds like it triggered a full scale riot, and most of our PRT troopers are still engaged with assisting the BBPD in securing the site—to ah…" he looked around. "Rescue Clockblocker."

"Has their been any contact with him?"

"Other than a panicked scream that was cut off? No, Ma'am."

"What about Vista." She's young but she can be sensible, and she could corden off…

"She's acting to recover the stolen goods."

"WHAT? By herself!" Piggot swore. "I thought that sh—"

"Not by herself, Ma'am. Vista has cape assistance."

"Who?"

And it was then that they finally got a feed from the helicopter. Showing a van driving erratically down the road, being chased by a small figure wearing a familiar costume… Riding a shining wolf made of blades.

"Renick?"

"Yes?"

"Is that Hookwolf?"

"Ah, it appears to be, yes."

"And my Ward is working with an E88 cape."

"Well, in her defense, she could be working under orders."

Piggot slowly turned her gaze on Renick. "What. Do. You. Mean."

"From the hat and beard, it appears he was undercover as Santa, and well, you told the wards to 'listen to Santa like he was Alexandria.'"

And with those words, Renick was forever off Emily's Christmas list.

And then, Squealer got involved.

Scrooge had a point, Emily thought.

"Squealer! Fucking Squealer, who's next!" I screamed.

"Really, don't give the universe any ideas," Regent said as he fired another box. "We're sort of running low on boxes."

"What? Stop, now!" Tattletale shrieked. She was looking increasingly unhinged as she glared at us through the partition window. "That's our haul!"

"That's a blade monster coming for us!"

And then rockets from Squealer's tank started landing around the van.

"I am renouncing Christmas!" I shouted.

"Good, can I have your presents?" Regent asked.

Vista blinked in horror as she watched the truck bounce around with the shocks from the explosions. "Give me my fucking present!" Squealer shrieked and then launched another volley.

"She's going to blow up the truck!" Vista said in horror. "Wait a minute, how can she get her present if she blows them up?"

Brad looked up at her. "What part of drug-addled merchant did they not cover in the Ward's program?"

"Good point! Hang on," Vista started sort of warping space around the truck. Squealer's missiles were slow so she could throw their aim off and the guys in the truck had evidently run out of most of their ammunition.

Any minute now…

Then Hookwolf started to slow.

"What are you doing?"

"We got most of the loot, you can return it, I can get my share and I don't have to risk getting a Ward blown up on my watch."

"No, wait!" Because if I get them, Piggot will never be able to punish me! I'll be the ward who brought the Undersiders in! But Hookwolf was slowing up, and suddenly she knew what she had to do. Vista reached out, pulled space close to her, and made a leap that would have been forty feet normally, but was now in reach. A leap that sent her, feet first, into the driver's side window."

"Wh-KID, the FUCKING MISSILES!" Brad stopped slowing up and redoubled his pace. Stupid crazy teen, what is it about teen girls! Rune wanted to take Dragon, she wants to go to a truck that's about to be blown up, what's next, a Girl Scout Troop that goes to Endbringer fights?

"We're almost there!" Tattletale screamed. "We can lose them on the waterfront."

"What about the fucking tank?" Grue snarled. "I—" What he was going to say was lost as a pair of dainty feet (in elf-styled sneakers) slammed into him as Vista came in through the open window.

"PULL OVER!" she screamed, as Grue turned to fight her. The truck swerved alarmingly, as Tattletale dove for the wheel to keep them from meeting sudden death. Unfortunately, Grue, occupied with an armful of Vista-wildcat had jammed the accelerator clear down and Tattletale couldn't get to the brakes. Now the truck was weaving wildly from side to side as she tried to drive it, while avoiding fists, feet and headbutts from the fight right next to her. Then Vista actually bit Grue and by reflex he…

Filled the compartment with his darkness.

"Grue, Grue!" Tattletale shouted. "Shut off the fucking darkness, I can't see!" Oh God, we're going to die and we're going to be known for dying for the stupidest reason ever!

And then Grue heard her, the smoke vanished, and three faces beheld what lay in front of them.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Emerged from three panicked throats, as they realized that Tattletale had turned onto a wooden pier that extended into the bay.

And they were about twenty feet from the end of said pier.