Chapter 2: Dragon Date

Peace had reigned over the Mushroom Kingdom ever since Bowser's defeat. The week had passed and, just as promised, Mario arrived at the east gate. It was past noon now and with no sign of his arch rival, his patience began wearing thin. He tapped his finger against the tree he leaned on. Perhaps there was something he missed? No, it could not be that. Even now, his exact instructions replayed clear as day.

"Remember, we're trying to make this as convincing as possible. I'm a girl whom you just met and are already losing your mind over. Wear something casual, but nice...or at least put on a freshly clean pair of overalls. Oh! Maybe some manly cologne? And make sure you bring plenty of that stored away dough. Bowsette's gonna require a hefty lump sum in return for her services."

The idea of spending his hard earned money on this most loathed individual made his skin crawl. Trying to take comfort knowing Peach would take him back granted him little calm. It was a ridiculous idea from the start. And now he was all the way out here crossing his fingers in the hopes that Bowser could keep his promise. Trusting Bowser of all people! Had he forgotten their deal or blown him off all together? To think he had wasted hours shining his shoes, washing and ironing his best shirt and overalls, picking out his best gloves, and his favorite cap all so Bowser could be a no-show to his own idea? What a joke. If he had wanted to tan out in the hot sun for hours on end, he would at least do so playing golf or soccer. Even tennis sounded better than standing around like a fool under a tree. The only saving grace was its copious amounts of shade. At least that kept him cool to where he would not sweat. By this point, it had become clear that oversized turtle would not appear. Mario sighed. Obviously it was too good to be true.

Suddenly, the bushes began to rustle nearby. Low and behold, it was indeed Bowser. Or Bowsette as he decided to call this new appearance.

"Stupid trees! Stupid dress! Stupid hair! How can anyone stand having this much-?!"

The two locked eyes. Every inch of her attire looked a mess with twigs sticking out of her hair and dress. Clearly, Bowsette had not had enough time to adjust to her new body despite an entire week's worth of time. Even her crown was skewed. Mario could not help but smile."

"Can it, mushroom muncher!" she scolded while pulling debris out of her hair. He went to help her out which reluctantly she allowed.

"I was-a starting to think you would-a not-a show up."

"Hey, all you had to do is put on some slacks and polish your shoes!" she retorted. "I never thought something so simple could require this much maintenance!"

Mario laughed, doing his best to restore Bowsette to her proper appearance. Eventually, all the debris was removed leaving behind only small tears in her dress. There was no way she was going to trek back just to have it sewn.

"Why didn't you just-a use your Koopa Copter, Bowser?" inquired Mario.

"That's 'Bowsette' to you, pipsqueak!" her pointy finger prodded his chest. "And I did! But I had to hide it back there so I wouldn't raise suspicion."

Mario faced the Kingdom entrance. Hesitation yet remained. He did have an entire week to convince and prepare himself, but never expected the actual day to come. Could he really stoop so low as to pull this off in front of Peach?

"So, are we clear on the plan?"

He gazed up at the tall woman quietly looking down on him. His pride swallowed, Mario reached his arm out for her to take. She shook her head, instead opting to lay a hand on the little man's back, leading him to the entrance.

"Now remember, we're a lovey dovey couple. We do some ooey gooey things in front of Peach and she comes running back. Just don't think for once that I'm enjoying any of it, got it?! And whatever you do...watch where you step."

"Why's-a that?"

A hint of color came to her face. "I couldn't remove my shell, horns, or tail. I'm hiding the ladder under my dress, and I swear, if you step on it, I'll curb stomp ya!"

Mario was almost tempted to look behind her only to have her hand press against his head.

"And I'd rather not have anyone staring at my rear."

Soon, they were strolling down the main street of the Mushroom Kingdom. Shops to one direction, homes to the other. Meanwhile, other villagers ran about performing mundane tasks to keep things up and running. It was surreal to say the least. Bowsette had never once seen the land so peaceful before. Usually, the Toads would be running around screaming their heads off by now. That much slowly became apparent. While they were definitely getting the strangest of glances, not once did anyone cry out in fear. If anything, they looked more awestruck by the new girl in town. One might even dare to say a small portion were mesmerized by her appearance. Some waved in their general direction, prompting Mario to nervously wave back. Bowsette did the same. It was perhaps the closest she had ever come to a Toad, or anyone who was not her minion for that matter, without them flipping out in a panic. This was incredible! None of them showed the slightest ounce of fright in her presence. Yet here she was, sneaking behind enemy lines right under their nonexistent noses! She smirked with delight. If anything, she should have thought of this years ago!

Mario led Bowsette along the various streets, passing tourist traps, restaurants, clothing stores, and alike. All the while, everyone was blissfully unaware of the unfolding situation. Never once did her hand unglue from his back. It was as if she owned a little willing hostage. That much she enjoyed dearly.

"So, where do you think we'll find Peach...darling?"

He shuddered at the word 'darling', swallowing hard. "It's-a usually around-a now Peach takes a break to exercise for-a the day. My guess is she's-a playing tennis with-a Luigi at-a this time."

"Chicken feet? Is he out to steal your lady too?" Bowsette chuckled.

Mario was not finding her comments very amusing. "No. He's-a just in the neighborhood for a vacation away from-a ghost hunting."

"Serve up!"

Luigi struck the ball with his racket to Peach's side, who promptly ran after it. A successful return to his side, but Luigi rebutted with ease. Peach dove for the ball and barely managed to hit it back to her opponent. It bounced just out of reach.

"Yay! Score one up for me!" Peach cried. "I'm catching up fast Luigi!"

He chuckled. "Ey, that-a was pretty good. But you'll have to do-a better than that-a to beat the green missile!"

"Hmph! Bring it on, green man!"

Bowsette peeked her head out of a nearby shrub. Her toothy grin oozed with mischief. "Alright pinhead, here we go. You walk me down the tennis court in full view of that pompous broad, but don't even think of acknowledging her. She's beneath you, a relic of the past. Act like you're fixated solemnly on me, got it?"

Mario moaned. "I-I can't-a believe I'm-a seriously going through with-a this." His knees buckled beneath him.

"Don't forget, she led you on! Baking you cakes, giving you kisses, all for what?! A big fat no when you confessed your affections for her!" she whispered harshly. "Now give me your best flirt!"

With unsteady breath, he took Bowsette's arm and led her down the tennis court just as ordered. As they approached the duo, Mario reminisced some of the many romantic things he one day hoped to do with Peach. Eventually, he mustered the courage to begin talking.

"So, after this, you wanna go get-a some-a frozen yogurt?"

"Oh, so long as I'm with you darling, anything's fine. I'm actually curious to see more of the sights around here, if you don't mind? I'm having such a wonderful time meeting the Mushroom Kingdom alongside you, Mario."

"Of-a course! I'd be willing-a to show you whatever-a you like!"

Ironically, Luigi heard the conversation first, losing interest in the game just enough for the ball to bounce from the court, then off his head.

"Ha! That's a tied game Luigi!" called Peach.

He did not respond. Her line of sight followed to see what made him so muddled. A familiar plumber strolled up to them without a care in the world with another woman whom she had never seen before.

"And-a after that, how about a nice-a night gazing up at-a the stars?"

"Oh Mario, you're so romantic!"

"Mario?"

That voice immediately made him tense. Bowsette brought her hand to his back in an effort to keep him focused.

"Excuse me?"

A tap on her shoulder. Her teeth gritted in annoyance having not expected the princess to jump the gun so soon, but happily turned to face her.

"While I'm not bothered by people walking my royal tennis court, may I at least be acquainted with the new face?"

She grinned a toothy grin. "What? Don't you recognize the greatest hero in the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"I meant you, ma'am. And…" Her attention was quickly disrupted. The sudden realization that this stranger matched her appearance exactly completely threw any manner of concentration out the window. Other than minor differing details, the resemblance was uncanny. Her attention then latched onto the object atop the woman's head.

"Princess Peach! I've heard of your beauty, but never once pictured seeing it in person."

Mario gazed up at her quizzically. Peach however was more focused on this new princess' crown. "Yes well, I ask again. Who are you?"

Bowsette pulled her man closer. "So, aren't you gonna introduce me, dear?"

Typical of her to throw him under the bus. In his skittish condition however, he found it rather difficult to come up with anything to say. "Princess, this is my...m-my-"

"Girlfriend!" concluded Bowsette.

"Girlfriend?!" Peach exclaimed. Her hair puffing up.

"Yup!" added Bowsette. "We've been dating for a few days now, haven't we Mario?"

He nodded, refusing to meet Peach's eyes.

"Oh! Is that so?" a passive aggressive Peach puffed. "Well, I'm glad he's found a lady friend who he can talk to."

"He is quite the catch!" she continued, "I couldn't help but snatch him up! Though I have to wonder, were you not originally one to fancy this ha-err...man's company?"

"Hey bro!"

It was Luigi. Throughout the entire time, he had been waving to gain his brother's attention. "Who's-a the pretty lady? And...not-a to be rude, but is-a that-a tail I just-a saw?"

"Gosh-dang it Luigi!" Now it was Bowsette's turn to tense up. She had tried so hard to keep it hidden under her dress and now Mario's miserable second banana was going to blow their cover!

Peach eyed them inquisitively. "Hey, wait a minute!"

Both her and Mario's eyes went wide. Bowsette clutched Mario's shoulder with crushing force. "Well, we'll leave you to your tennis game, my dear!"

Just as they took their first steps, Peach stepped her shoe on the edge of Bowsette's dress. In the process forcing her tail to spring up between its hiding flaps. At the exact same time, the spikes that had previously receded back into her shell jutted outwards.

The couple froze. No one said a word. Only the loud click in Peach's head broke the silence.

"Bowser!?"

"Mama mia." uttered Mario.

With a twitch, Bowsette gradually turned back to her rival. In her efforts, exposing her tail to the fullest. "Surprise!"

"I should have known! Of course you wouldn't have the slightest clue on how a woman behaves! And...Mario? What are you doing with this oat bag in my kingdom?!"

"Isn't it obvious, Peachy?" Bowsette proclaimed. "We're on a date! And Mario here is showing me what it's like when everyone isn't running around like headless chickens!"

She looked down at Mario who finally willed himself to look her in the eye. "It's-a true, Princess. I found someone else."

Peach's gaze darted from one to the other. A hand rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Okay, seriously? This is the saddest thing I've ever seen. What kind of treachery are you two trying to pull?"

"No treachery here m'lady. Mario simply found someone who better suits his needs! C'mon, 'oat bag'? Have you seen these luscious curves?" Bowsette ran her hands across her hourglass body.

She huffed angrily. "Mario get this monster out of my kingdom!"

"Monster? Oh, I think you're referring to that big, devilishly handsome Koopa who no longer exists! Say hello to Bowsette!" She twirled with a mocking bow. "And do you really wanna raise suspicion, sweetie? Whaddaya think will happen if your public find out you let the Koopa King slip into your kingdom, hmm?"

"Oh, puh-lease!" scoffed Peach. Her face now inches away from her rival. In the process, squishing Mario between the two. "You only made it this far because of Mario! Only a complete fool would fall for such an uninspired ruse!"

"Eh-heh-eugh! And who may this lovely diamond gracing us with her presence be?"

Along the way, Toadsworth had taken a detour to witness the spectacle conversing with his beloved ruler.

"I say, Master Mario, where did you find such a fine, tall glass of water?" he chuckled as he approached.

Bowsette could not help but beam in excitement. Gracefully, she knelt down to the old toadstool's height eager to rub her brilliant disguise in Peach's face. "Ah, you must be the wise and noble Toadsworth. It is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance." Her hand extended outwards.

He happily took her finger in his tiny palms, laying a gentle kiss on the back of her hand. "You are absolutely correct, my buff tomato! And who might you be?"

Bowsette giggled. "Oh, I'm Bowsette! I'm Mario's new girlfriend! He's been telling me how lovely a place the Mushroom Kingdom was, and I just had to see it for myself!"

"Bowsette?" Toadsworth repeated suspiciously. "Ah! Well, I assume you'll show her well, Master Mario!"

Peach cut in. "Toadsworth, that's not a real woman. It's just Bowser with a Super Crown!"

The old Toad adjusted his glasses with a squint. "Mm...are you certain? Bowser's but a brutish old besprawler with no sense of style! Come now dear, how could you compare this wonderful creature to him when she looks just like you!"

"Pfft-!" The dragon princess struggled to contain her laughter. Even Mario found himself wincing at the elder's comment. He altered his eyeline to Luigi, who had been watching the entire event unfold with morbid curiosity.

"Wah-? She looks nothing like me!" protested Peach.

Toadsworth waved a hand in front of his face. "Poppycock! You share the same hair. The same eyes. It wouldn't surprise me if you shared that same laugh-"

"Toadsworth!"

Unwillingly, Bowsette burst into a set of snorting giggles. A bashful Mario lowered his hat. He had been trying not to laugh himself.

"My, she really does match down to your laughter!" Toadsworth persisted. "Tell me deary, you two wouldn't happen to be related, would you?"

Bowsette grappled to her senses. "Heh, who knows? For all intents and purposes, we may as well be long lost sisters! For the record, imitation is the highest form of flattery and your princess here...let's just say she inspired my current look."

Peach was far past fuming. In her instincts, she wanted to snatch the Super Crown right out of this 'Bowsette's hair, but in addition to Toadsworth, other royal subjects would triangulate on them soon. She would have important matters to attend to momentarily, and revealing Bowser in the middle of the kingdom would most definitely leave a sizable splotch on her status in public eye. After all, a reputation of being kidnapped was all she was known for and this would more than likely be the straw that breaks the camel's back. No matter how much she hated the idea, her perpetrator needed to remain under that disguise. Despite an inferno raging within, Peach could only hope for her hero to come through again. In her heart, she pleaded, begged to have this beast dealt with once and for all.

Such a hero however remained unmoved. Mario had long since stepped in between her and Bowsette. He only stared up at his fair princess. It would have been an understatement to say she was stunned. His eyes had that familiar burn of determination. An all too familiar fire burning solely to protect. And yet she could see a hurt hiding behind the flames. Whether this was an injury caused by her rejection or something more sinister however remained unclear to her. The two stood frozen in time for the slightest moment before Toadsworth recalled them into reality. His conversation with Bowsette finally concluding.

"Princess Toadstool?" he patted her back. "Is everything alright between you and Master Mario? You appear quite tense."

She glared from under her blonde hair. Her fists clenched at her sides. Meanwhile, Bowsette smiled deviously from triumph.

"Y-Yes Toadsworth. All's well."

He smiled under his thick white mustache. "Shall we resume preparations for the week's festivities then?"

"Festivities?" inquired Bowsette.

"Why yes!" answered Toadsworth. "You see, to help our lovely princess relax from her terrifying ordeal, we're hosting a wing-ding at Isle Delfino! There will be music, plenty of food, all for the next three nights! Not quite a 'Mario Party' mind you, but I assure it will be quite the shindig!"

"Ooooh, that sounds like fun! In that case, I'll stay here and watch over Mario in place of Peach!" She picked him up in her arms and squeezed tightly. Her grip suffocating him in a chokehold disguised as a hug. He wheezed for air until Bowsette released her grip, dropping him to the ground.

"Of course, of course!" exclaimed Toadsworth. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe there are some royal matters we must address. I trust you're done with your game of tennis, deary?"

"Y-yes...of course." a trembling Peach agreed. Reluctantly, she put away her tennis racket, passing Bowsette in the process. Daggers fired like cannonballs from her eyes.

Luigi mosied over to Mario, repeatedly asking him what was going on. Upon hearing the explanation however, the younger one went into a trembling frenzy.

"B-B-But Mario! He could-a turn back at any second!"

"I have-a to do this alone!"

"But there's-a gotta be a way I can-a help!"

"I know what I'm-a doing, but I'm-a gonna need-a you to give me space." reassured Mario. "Keep-a this between us, okay? If-a thing's get-a messy, you'll-a be the first-a to know."

Luigi reluctantly nodded. Regardless of how feminine this new Bowser looked, he still felt the hungry eyes of his brother's date seething through the back of his head. Even after parting ways, he refused to look Bowsette head on. In spite of his fear however, the last thing he wanted was for his brother to be left alone with their greatest foe. Coyly, Luigi bid the princess farewell before parting ways.

Soon enough, Peach had stored away her sports attire, huffing over to the awaiting Toadsworth. She took one last look at the makeshift couple. In an act of spite, Bowsette inched down to grasp Mario's hand, giving it the lightest squeeze. Peach glowered angrily as the two mosied away.

"D'oh, ho ho ho ho! Did you see how mad she got when I grabbed your hand?!" Bowsette exclaimed shoveling another scoop of frozen yogurt into her mouth. Her chair reclined backwards as she flailed freely coming precariously close to toppling over. "She looked like she was ready to pop, she was so red!"

Mario poked and prodded at his frozen treat. A hand holding up his gloomy face. "Yes... she was-a mad." Eventually his palm slid out from under his chin, letting his head slam the patio table.

"Oh, cheer up Mario, baby!" cheered Bowsette. "We just found out she's still wants you! How great is that?!"

"Don't-a you think it was just because you were-?"

"Best of all, I barely had to say a word! Dumb Peach pretty much burned herself!"

"Bowser-"

"And that senile old fart didn't think twice about who I was, ha! What a chump! He's as gullible as they-!"

"Stop it!"

Mario slammed his hands on the table making his date tumble onto the pavement below. She whisked back up.

"What?!"

"I know you're-a you, but at-a least tone it-a down with-a the insults! What-a happened to the plan?!"

Bowsette blinked in surprise. This little plumber had barely made a peep in Peach's presence. Now all of a sudden he was up in arms? "Oh get over it, fuzz face! I'm still evil, remember?" she growled scrunchy-faced.

He scowled back. "We're-a supposed to be working together! You said it yourself-a!"

"Who said it was gonna be easy?!" Bowsette clutched the table edges tightly. "I'm the one in the dress going out of my way to make this work Mario! You really think I'm enjoying any second sitting here pretending I don't want to burn this place to the ground?! And worst of all, I'm stuck doing it with you!"

Both locked eyes. The growing tension beckoning them to begin a brawl right in the middle of a bustling street. All they needed now was an excuse. A wink, a breath, a twitch, anything would suffice as a viable trigger to set them off. Neither moved. Slowly, they withdrew back to their seats. Only then did they register a crowd gathering exclusively to witness their bickering, dissipating when their argument ceased.

It took an entire minute for Mario to regain his calm. "Listen me-Bowser, I know you're-a used to not facing-a consequences. But we do need-a to keep-a this consistent."

She scoffed. "What, do you want me to pull your 'stache and give you a big wet kiss?"

"No!" He squeezed his cup. "I need-a you to be more-a gentle. Otherwise, Peach isn't-a gonna buy us-a being together. I swore I was-a gonna need-a one-up after you almost-a crushed me back-a there."

Her lips eased into a pout. "It's this body. These proportions are stupid hard to get used to." Bowsette pushed her arms together, lightly squeezing her bosom. "It doesn't help that my center of gravity's much...different this time around."

He averted his eyes. For a moment, his cheeks went red with shame.

She went on. "If it's a lighter touch you want, fine. But in return, I expect you to stop being so gentle. Be a dragon and I'm your gold, got it?"

"Okie-dokie." nodded Mario sheepishly.

Bowsette simply muttered. "I swear, you're the only one who can say that nowadays and still make it sound bearable." Her eyes inched to the ground. Tragically, her frozen yogurt had splattered all over the sidewalk the moment she fell. Her dress had caught some, as well as her shoes. Distraught filled her face. Even her pointed ears drooped a bit. "So much for evening fro-yo."

Mario sighed. His cup was still very much full without so much as a single dent. "Here. Take-a mine."

The gesture caught Bowsette off guard, eying Mario with the most peculiar of looks. "I'm not eating something that's been in your mouth."

"It-a hasn't." argued Mario. "Just...finish it off. I'm not-a hungry."

She stared momentarily before slowly inching her hand towards him, snatching the cup away from a date making minimal effort to stop her. As expected, she promptly gobbled it down without so much as a 'thank you'.

Mario gazed up at the amber sky above. His mind endlessly pondering on whether or not the right course of action was being taken. Who was he kidding? A deal had been made with his most hated enemy with its repercussions still unclear. "How long are-a you willing to keep-a this up?"

"Hmm?" muffled Bowsette through a mouthful of yogurt. "Till I get Peach to love you again. And what a Koopa starts, a Koopa finishes. Keep your cell on, I betcha she'll call soon."

"I was afraid you'd say that, me-Bowser."

She glared at him from behind her cup. "It's Bowsette...stupid plumber."

Mario huffed. "It's-a Mario...jerk."