Grue hit the brakes—Too late.

"Oh SHIIIIIIITTTTTT!" Tattletale yelled as the truck gracefully flew off the pier, shedding Taylor, Regent and the remaining boxes as it did, before it struck the cold waters of the bay.

"Abandon Truck!" Grue shouted and kicked the front windshield out as the water flooded in. Moments later, Tattletale, Grue and Vista were escaping, Vista carefully keeping her face obscured as they scrambled out onto the hood of the truck, and from there got onto the top of the truck.

Behind them, Regent and Skitter exploded from the water, surrounded by floating boxes.

"We're so fucking dead," Skitter said.

"Got that right, kids." The Undersiders looked up to the pier, where Hookwolf stood. "And now—"

"Get away from MY FUCKING PRESENT!" Squealer screamed, bringing her truckosaurus onto the pier.

"You're going to take me?" Brad asked. "You really are stupid."

"I've got the biggest guns here, asshole!" Squealer said, a grin on her face. "I'm going to bag me—"

Crack. Crack, crack.

"What was that?" Squealer asked.

"Oh…Shi…" Brad didn't have a chance to say anything else as the mass of the tinkertech truck proved too much for the decades old, rotted wood. The entire pier gracefully collapsed into the bay, taking Brad, Squealer and the truck with it, sending a wave out into the bay.

"Hookwolf! GET OVER HERE!" Vista was gesturing at him, glaring at the two Undersiders, all three standing on the only above-water part of the SS Failed Heist.

Why isn't she in charge of the wards? No. Thank God she's not in charge… Brad thought.

"You get your packages, and then I'm taking these guys in," Vista said.

"You really don't want to do that," Brad said. I suppose I owe you this, since you helped me get Kaiser's packages.

"Why not?"

"A Christmas chase? Toys? If you bring the Undersiders in now, you'll be famous."

"Yes!" Vista said. Grue looked deeply suspicious but seemed unwilling to dive into the water with the Hookwolf-shark.

"No," Brad said. "You make your rep like that, you'll probably be forced to rebrand. You know, 'Santa's Little Helper'?"

Vista paled, blinking. "They would—"

"Elf, complete with themed Christmas uniform!" Regent said.

"Uh, Ugh…" Vista couldn't get any words out as the space around her started to twist.

Are kids supposed to get that throbbing forehead vein thing? Brad wondered.

"Fine!" She bit out. "You leave, and we take the presents, and we don't chase you!"

"No, wait!" Tattletale said. Her hair looked like a nest of serpents and her eyes were twitching alarmingly. "That's our haul! You can't take it, we'll—mpgh!"

"I agree with this deal!" Grue said, one hand firmly over Tattletale's mouth. "I'm proud to be a part of this deal!"

Squealer got to the shore, clutching her prize. All the packages had been wrapped up by a tinkertech gadget so the precious cargo inside was still intact. But her truck was toast and she could hear the approaching Protectorate forces.

"But you're not smarter than me!" She'd retrieved her secret weapon, the one thing the Protectorate had never discovered, the thing that allowed her to retreat from every fight without fear. The Stealth Enabled Human Powered Transport. Loading her package into the vehicle's basket, she pulled out into the road, none of the gaping observers paying any attention to her dripping wet clothing. Even Armsmaster didn't spare her a second glance as he roared by her.

It works everytime! Squealer giggled and rang the bell as she bicycled back home on her mundane 10-speed bicycle.

Far away, at a mall that was now the center of a truly vast number of police and PRT units, a neglected side door opened.

Squelch, squelch. From it, two figures emerged, covered in old coffee grounds, spoiled eggnog, and less nameable things. Even the rats fled from the redolent odor. The taller figure, which looked like the odd combination of Sauron and Mush, stared at the garbage covered elf.

"Right. You know, if you ever mention this, I will have to hunt you down and do horrible things, correct, Clockblocker?"

"Mention this?" Clockblocker sounded like he was about to vomit or cry. Or maybe both. "I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to forget this!"

"Then we have an understanding." With that, Kaiser turned and walked away.

Squelch, squelch, squelch. "Rune, I need a pickup," he said. "And… Don't bring anything you want to keep. Also, we'll be stopping by the carwash. No. I don't want to talk about it." Brad better have those god-damned presents.

Behind him, he heard Clockblockers voice. "Guys, here I—"

"IT'S MUSH! CONFOAM SPRAYERS FORWARD!"

"No, wait, I'm—" Anything else was lost in the spray of foam.

Kaiser didn't slow down. It was getting really annoying only being able to breathe through his mouth.

By the time Colin got to the wrecked pier, there was no sign of Hookwolf or the Undersiders. There was, however Vista, standing in front of a huge pile of intact action figure boxes, what looked like an overstuffed bag slung over one shoulder. She had one foot on a pavement stone, looking for all the world like a short, Christmas-themed conqueror.

"Hi!" Vista said. "Does this count as helping Santa?"