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An ancient and a fairy.
Thorin completely lost the track of time out there in the corridor with no windows to see the sky and the cries of his wife becoming stronger with each passing moment. He didn't know who was sweating more. Eilin in there suffering to get his children to see the daylight, or him out here trying hard not to react towards her screams of anguish. He was still with the clothes he put on quickly when Eilin's waters broke, which meant he was wearing only his half open tunic and trousers. He had no boots on and no vest, yet he wasn't cold. Actually his skin was boiling hot from all the adrenaline that was rushing through his veins. His hair was a wild mess, because he kept pulling them from the roots each time he heard Eilin screaming from pain. His eyes were bloodshot from unshed tears and his face was pale and broken with lines of worry.
His friends didn't leave his side. In fact more came along to help as slowly Erebor began to wake up. Gloin, Durar, Bjarki and Fili joined the gathering and brought along with them chairs and small tables to place their breakfasts, bottles of ale and pipes. Thorin didn't partake in any conversation no matter how many times his companions tried to draw his attention away from his doors. Durar even offered to take him for a ride outside in order to blow off some steam, but Thorin denied angrily. He was one decision away from breaking down his doors, pushing his sister aside and sitting next to his wife in order to support her, as she struggled to deliver.
Young Ori went to the kitchens after Balin's orders and brought up as many bottles of mead as he could carry. Then Gloin, Dwalin, Bjarki and Durar took turns in order to convince Thorin to drink some. Balin insisted that all men turned out drunk during the delivery of their children, but it wasn't easy to convince the King to do the same. He took the offer a couple of times, but the moment he felt dizziness taking over he pushed every mug aside. He didn't want to be drunk during Eilin's labour. He wanted to remember every single moment of anguish, anxiety and fear. He longed to see and touch his children for the first time with a clear head. Therefore the only thing his friends managed was to crowd him, without being able to alleviate his worries about what was taking place behind his closed doors.
A couple of times those accursed doors opened up and Thorin sprang on his feet in order to get some news, but the maidens rushed by with a few brief words. "She's doing fine my Lord." When they returned holding fresh water and clean towels Thorin trailed behind them quickly in order to get a glimpse of Eilin, but the door shut him out before he ever had a chance to. The last time the same drill happened Thorin didn't pull away from his doors. He leaned his hands on the casing and his forehead on the wooden panel. He closed his eyes and tried hard to control the cascade of emotions that was threatening to spill out of his seams. He counted inwards each time Eilin's cried, waiting for her to settle down and his body tensed along with all those declarations of pain.
Bjarki's hand landed on his shoulder and tried to pull him away from the door.
"You are not helping yourself, come, let's walk a little." His friend of old said.
"I don't want to." Thorin spat and looked at Bjarki with heavy eyes.
"You are only making things worse for you. You are agonising over your woman's pain and that is understandable, but what else can do? Do you think you will be able to go in there and support her? Let the women do their job. They are much more equipped than us to deal with this particular thing." Bjarki wised.
"So I am supposed to stay out here and listen to her screaming like a pig on slaughter?" Thorin felt his skin crawling.
"No, actually you were supposed to get drunk and possibly have a ride with us outside until the babies were delivered! Then you were supposed to get return in order to meet them. No one counted on you anchoring outside these doors and become overwrought about something you have no control over!" Balin intervened.
"I was kicked out of my wife's labour also and they were right in doing so. No matter how many times I fought valiantly against our foes, I was unable to face the delivery of my children without feeling like faint." Durar's head bobbed and he drunk some mead.
"I actually did faint...twice and then they kicked me out!" Bjarki smiled.
Thorin frowned at both men. "What the hell are you talking about? I am not going to faint!"
"You will fall flat on your face if you see all that blood spilling out of your wife's innards and your children covered with it! They will have to leave Eilin to struggle alone in order to revive you!" Bjarki raised his brow and took a sip.
Durar laughed knowingly and Balin joined in heartily.
Thorin shuddered hard. "You are not listening! I am not in danger of fainting, nor am I unable to support my woman in this. I shouldn't be out here , but in there with her!" He grumbled and pointed at the doors.
"You should have been dead drunk by now, but you are too hot headed and stubborn for me to achieve that!" Dwalin raised his brow.
Thorin humphed, crossed his arms and moved away from the doors feeling both annoyed towards his friends who felt that he was unable to handle this and towards his uncertainty when it came to demanding entrance to his rooms in order to be next to Eilin. He listened to his sister and kept away, but was that doing right by Eilin who begged him to be next to her? On the other hand she would have called him in by now, if she had truly needed him, right? His brows clouded. Maybe she was mad at him for making her suffer in this manner. He looked at his friends and felt this new dawning fear numbing him. "She didn't call for me, did she?"
Balin raised his brow. "No."
"Because she doesn't need you right now. My wife didn't need me either when she delivered my wee lad. Oh, I was fretting much like you till I saw him all tiny and weak with a head full of red hair." Gloin began reminiscing.
"She'll call me if she needs me, right?" Thorin's eyes turned all needy on Bjarki.
"Of course she will." His friend squeezed his shoulder.
"Maybe do you think she's a bit upset with me?" Thorin hesitated.
Durar frowned. "Whatever for?"
"I did this to her didn't I? She's suffering because of me. Maybe she's mad at me for it." Thorin was unable to hide his distress.
Durar raised his brow and gulped down all his mead. "She is most certainly angry at you right now. My wife's fury lasted many months after delivery!"
Thorin's eyes grew wide with apprehension. "It did?"
Bjarki shook his head in accordance. "They go through a rather dark period, don't they? I remember it well even though I'd do anything to forget it."
"It gets even worse than this?" Thorin looked around him growingly discouraged.
"They go through a period of immense sadness were nothing you say can soothe them and no gift can make them smile. They only want to sleep, cry and cuddle with their babies. They don't even want to kiss or embrace us." Durar rejoined with a tone that grew darker upon that memory.
"Oh, for heaven's sake..." Thorin's frown deepened.
"They seem to actually hate us during that period, remember?" Bjarki looked at Gloin.
Gloin nodded. "Do I not, perchance..."
Thorin paled.
"Did you come up here to help or trip him up?" -Balin placed his hands angrily on his wide belt- "Look at the poor lad, he's lost all the colour from his face."
Bjarki clasped Thorin's shoulder. "If Eilin goes into that period of sadness, then work my friend...work hard and long hours away. Give her time to stay with her babies and cry her eyes out and don't overcrowd her, because she might threaten to leave you. My wife did that even though I was trying my best to help her." He warned the King.
Thorin's lips parted and he emptied himself against the wall feeling defeated. "She did?" He muttered.
Balin humphed annoyed and looked at his brother. "They are scaring him to bits...look."
Dwalin raised his brow and frowned at them. "Shut up will you?!" He grumbled.
"We are just preparing him. He must know what to expect!" Durar snapped.
Dwalin's nose flared and he addressed his childhood friend. "No one knows for sure that all this will befall your family Thorin. They are talking about their own experiences, but they might not happen to you and Eilin." He tried to reason.
Bjarki frowned. "Most if not all women become moody after birth. They are easily tired, rather emotional and possibly hate us...if only for a short period of time."
Gloin crossed his arms. "My wife went through such a phase, I remember. I tried to handle it by saying yes to everything she wanted. That made things easier."
Durar raised his hand. "True. Either agree with everything she says, or go to work...a lot!"
Bjarki laughed and Gloin joined in.
Thorin's face blanched even more. He clutched his temples and closed his eyes. "You people are not helping..." He muttered.
Young Ori came next to him. "Maybe you shouldn't listen to hearsay Sir."
Thorin's eyes cracked open and he looked down at this young man.
Ori flicked his shoulders. "I suppose delivering a child must be very difficult and extremely painful. A woman must feel tired and moody afterwards, but that doesn't mean your whole world is going to come crashing down, right?"
Thorin's lips curled up in a ghostly smile. "No, perhaps it won't."
Ori crossed his arms and frowned. "Besides not all women are the same. I remember my dad telling me that mom was up and about one day after birth, taking care of me, the house and my father...so who knows. Maybe Lady Eilin will be like my mother."
Thorin's smile brightened up. "I sure hope so."
Ori reciprocated the smile and offered Thorin a mug. "There is always hope. You want a drink Sir?"
Thorin's wistful smile got erased when he looked at the mead and he shook his head. "No...no I need to have a clear head."
"So you can drive yourself crazy with relative ease..." Balin raised his brow.
Thorin glowered at his advisor briefly and then resumed his nervous pace in front of his doors. That is when a rather loud cry echoed in the corridors and Thorin froze in front of the door. His whole body tensed. It was Dwalin's hand that landed on his shoulder this time.
"You need to get away from this door, or you will never calm down." He said quietly.
Thorin raised his hand in a warning for Dwalin to keep away. His brow wrinkled as he tried to discern what the elevated voices inside where saying. When another scream of anguish echoed like thunder in the corridor, both his ears and his heart bled, because it was followed by a gut-wrenching plea of agony that also included his name.
Thorin felt all the blood draining from his face. His instincts took over and he pushed Dwalin out of the way. He opened up the door so hard it almost unhinged and he marched into the room determined to slay anyone who would try to stand in his way. Dis and Loa where kneeling in front of Eilin's open legs. One of the helpers was trying to cool down his wife's brow and the other rushed quickly to stop him.
She placed her hand on his heaving chest. "My Lord, please get out!"
Eilin's bloodshot eyes turned to him and she extended her hand. "Thorin!" She yelled and he pushed the girl aside, sending her to the floor. He reached his wife and clasped her hand. Her response was so fierce that he cringed in pain.
"I am here my heart..." he said and cleared her sweaty hair away from her red face.
She puffed and groaned with each breath. "Where have you been?!" She spat.
"I...I..." He didn't know what to tell her and turned to his sister who looked up from Eilin's open legs. He gave her a resentful look and then turned to Eilin.
"One moment you were there, the next one you were gone! You promised to be here, you promised!" Eilin closed her eyes and weeped.
"Forgive me please...I am here now! Nothing can tear me away from you...no force in Middle Earth" he glowered again at his sister who ignored him. He pulled the cloth away from the other girl's hand and signalled her to leave angrily. "I have her, leave!" He spat.
"If I see you freaking out, I will kick you out again!" Dis warned him.
He gritted his teeth and gave his sister a murderous look, but didn't speak.
"I am so angry at you right now...you have no idea!" Eilin's teary eyes stabbed his heart and sweat rolled down the bridge of her nose. She was trembling all over.
"I know baby...I made you suffer." He said regretfully and wiped the sweat away from her brow gently.
"I am not mad that I am in pain! I am mad that you left me alone!" Eilin spat at him and her nails clawed the skin of his wrist.
He gritted his teeth against her suffering and watered the cloth. Then he patted it gently around Eilin's neck and heaving bosom. "You are right, I am a complete fool. An idiot!" He agreed.
"Don't patronise me!" She hissed and dug her nails even further.
"I will not, I promise..." He rejoined as calmly as he could and blew some air on the side of her neck.
That seemed to soothe her down a bit. She closed her eyes and exhaled. "That feels good..." she moaned and her claws relaxed slightly on him.
He nodded. "I can keep you cool. Can I have my hand back so I can do it properly?" He asked.
She released him and nodded. "I am sorry I yelled at you back there..." she stuttered and closed her eyes again.
"I don't mind. Yell at me as much as you want just let me help you." He spoke gently and picked up her hair. He twisted them into a bun and fixed them on the top of her head.
Her whole body tensed and she frowned. "The pain in my back, it's killing me Thorin! I swear I will die before I manage to get these babies out..."
Thorin's brow wrinkled, but he tried not to show anything to Eilin, for that had been his greatest fear ever since the beginning. That he'd end up raising his two children without her. "Everything is going to be okay, now breathe." He told her and blew gently around her bosom and neck. One of his large hands cupped her small fist and the other caressed several drenched locks away from her temples.
"Nothing is going to happen to you my lady. The baby is rather big that is why it is making your life hard. Now breathe deeply and count like I told you. The moment you feel a contraction push. Push with all your might!" -Loa said and then looked down again- "You are fully dilated and I can see the head. It won't take you too long, come on my Lady, you can do it."
Eilin nodded and allowed herself to relax a little bit under Thorin's presence, but the small comfort she felt when he sat next to her didn't last long as the well known by now excruciating pain at her tailbone and lower body tore through her like the sharpest knife. She clutched Thorin's forearm and her other hand came around and grabbed his shoulder. She buried her head under his chin and pushed with all her might. A scream of agony tore through her neck and she felt her insides breaking apart.
Thorin's arms instantly came around to hold her to him. He counted inwards with her sharp breaths, gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes tight. If he could have taken on this fight for her, he would have. If he could be in labour instead of her, he would have done it in a heartbeat, but nature commanded differently. All he could do now was hold her through this torment. He didn't know how long he counted until her scream drained and her body relaxed under him if only fractionally, but when he spoke his voice was totally broken. "Are you alright?" he muttered feeling in awe at the ability a woman's body had to sustain such anguish in order to create life.
She nodded and her hot breath whiplashed his skin. Her nails had created a tight ball out of his tunic and her teeth were cluttering from the shock her body was going through. "I just want it out of me, now!" She muttered with a voice that was barely heard.
"It's coming, it needs a few more pushes. Come on honey, you can do it!" Dis said and one of the girls wiped the brow of the princess.
Eilin leaned her head on Thorin's chest and his large hand cupped her face covering it all from her jawline up to her temple protectively. She inhaled his scent deeply and tried to soothe her bruised nerves now that the pain had become numb once again. Her quivering body couldn't decide if it was too cold or too warm. She grasped his tunic and pulled herself up in order to burrow as close to him as possible.
"You can do it baby...I'll push with you." Thorin whispered to her gently.
She snorted despite the circumstances. "What will come out if you push?" she groaned and tried to find a better position that wouldn't put too much pressure on her back.
"I don't think it's going to be pleasant I assure you." He smiled and kissed her burning brow.
She chuckled, but instantly that small mirth his words created was squashed under the oncoming contraction ruthlessly. She tensed and got prepared. "Hold me Thorin...It's coming..." she murmured and his arms tightened around her.
"Push!" Dis commanded her.
"Push my love," He whispered at her and she felt the pain breaking her apart. A low guttural groan of torment erupted from her chest that ended up into a howl of agony as she threw her head back to the pillows and her nails clawed Thorin's hand until blood began dripping down his wrist. She gritted her teeth against the pain and squeezed him mercilessly. Then she counted as she felt the baby's head tearing up her skin and a fresh flare of pain echoed towards her bottom. She clenched it instinctively in order to protect herself from anymore damage.
Dis looked up sharply. "Don't tense your body, open it up! Push the head out!"
Eilin shook her head and hollered. "I am being pulled apart!"
"You are doing fine! Trust me...inhale deeply and on the exhalation push! Push damn it!" Dis cried with an austere voice.
Thorin looked back at his sister angrily, but didn't intervene. He just pressed Eilin's hand and lowered his head to her ear. "Push my heart, give it your all. We are here for you, no one will let you to come to harm, trust in your body as I trust in you."
Eilin nodded and gritted her teeth as a compressed growl of anger and pain escaped her wheezing chest. She pressed his palm with such brutal force that their conjoined hands trembled almost uncontrollably and when she felt the contraction coming again she held onto any thread of sanity that was still intact in her pain sordid mind. She released a scream that echoed into the room and tore Thorin's heart right out of his chest.
He didn't know how long he held her tightly, offering her the opportunity to use him as a punching bag as she tensed and relaxed time and time and time again. As she screamed and groaned and her whole body twisted out of shape every time she pushed in order to get the baby's head out. It could have been mere moments, it could have been half the day as Thorin completely lost track of time in front of this nightmare. He gritted his teeth at every single cry of anguish that came from Eilin and whenever she pushed, his body instinctively tensed with hers.
He didn't know if it was normal to take this long to deliver a child or if she should be in so much pain, but he tried to hold her close as sweat run like rivers upon her burning skin. He didn't speak a word when he saw blood on the hands of Loa and on the towels the maidens were changing under Eilin. He tried not to cry when he saw Eilin's red face slowly becoming paler and paler and when he looked at her tight lips becoming almost blue from the effort. He turned his head away from her face and looked at their joined hands...at her white knuckles and at the uncontrollable shaking of her forearm as she pushed once more. He heard her visceral cry tearing his soul apart and he leaned his head on her temple wanting to steal away some of her pain...then tears pooled at the edge of his eyes and he tried hard to draw them back. He sat there next to her not knowing how to help her. Was he actually doing anything by sitting there next to her? Any doubt he may have had about that got dispersed when she came up and bit hard on his deltoid as a terrifying cry of excruciating pain, made his ears bleed. It had his name in it. "Thorin!" He inhaled sharply and grasped the back of her head keeping her there on him, despite the fact that her teeth had torn through his skin.
"Oh, Mahal have mercy on her please." He whispered and kissed the top of her drenched mane feeling the aftershocks of the pain coursing through her body. Just when he felt that he was unable to take anymore of this he heard his sister.
"You did it, the head is out! One more push my darling, one more!" Dis looked up happily.
Eilin sobbed hard on Thorin's deltoid and his hand tightened around her head. "Push baby..." he said right to her ear.
She tensed and got ready to push with all her might like all the other times, expecting nothing to happen, but the moment she pushed with half the effort she felt something popping out of her with force and a wave of relief overtook her torn lower body. She exhaled hard and fell back to the bed. Thorin leaned above her protectively and began cleaning her forehead and cheeks with a fresh cloth. "All is well, breathe Eilin...breathe baby..." He kept muttering.
She nodded unwilling to put in any effort to reply to him.
That is when Thorin heard something that made him stop. It sounded like a kitten mewling in one of the corners of the room, and he frowned deeply. He looked around confused. He got ready to ask what that was, when suddenly he saw Dis placing a very bloody, but rather large baby on a clean towel and wrapping it gently. That is where the sound was coming from. He felt his heart stopping for a few moments ...moments that would remain unforgettable to him to the end of his days. Loa got buried between Eilin's legs again and Dis turned around and placed the newborn on the table in order to clean it. It was Eilin's hand that reanimated the shocked King.
"I heard it. Is my baby okay!?" she asked with wide eyes full of terror.
Dis turned around bearing the King's firstborn in her arms. It's face was clean, but wet and it was mewling like a kitty. Dis smiled at the couple brightly. "It's a boy!"
Thorin exhaled hard and felt his eyes overflowing with unbidden tears. He turned to Eilin who was also crying and looked at her for a few stupefied moments before giving her an innocent, unsure smile that warmed up her heart. "A boy..." He whispered.
She nodded and opened up her arms to him. He fell on her and enfolded her so tightly that she couldn't breathe, but she didn't care. "A boy!" -She repeated and then in an afterthought she snorted slightly amused- "Your son almost killed me..."
He cried and laughed at the same time and kissed every single spot on her face and neck. "I know...I know..."
Dis rounded the bed and offered the newborn to Eilin. The moment she laid it upon her chest, the baby stopped crying and opened up his eyes. He looked as if he was searching around, trying to figure out what was happening. "He's so beautiful."
Thorin's huge hand lingered momentarily above his son's head and he looked up at Dis for confirmation.
"What are you waiting for? He's your boy! Caress him, wolf." Dis beamed down to him.
Thorin used one finger to shuffle the baby's full set of dark and wavy hair and felt the softness of his wet skin. That monumental feeling got imprinted in his heart forever. "Hi..." he whispered gently and the baby's blue eyes tried to find his father, but failed. Thorin felt more tears cascading down his cheeks and tried to keep himself in check.
"Look at him." Eilin cooed and kissed the baby's head.
"He's massive, much like his father." -Dis said proudly- "That's why it took him so long to come out."
"I know, but look at him, look at how beautiful he is...oh...oh...no..." Eilin winced and grabbed her back with a grimace of pain again.
"What's going on?" Thorin looked at Loa worried.
"The second one is effacing. Get ready my Lady." Loa looked up.
Eilin bit her lower lip until blood spilled down her chin. "Take the baby..." she said to Dis, who immediately took the firstborn away.
Thorin didn't know whom to turn to. His son that was being taken away from him or his wife who had blood dripping down her chin. He dipped a clean cloth in the water and supported her nape as he cleaned her chin carefully. "Don't bite your lip, no Eilin stop!" he told her firmly.
She squeezed her eyes tight as she felt the vicious contractions coming again. "I need to bite into something...it's coming again!" She cried at him and he twisted the cloth and passed it from her lips.
"This bite down on this!" He cleaned some loose locks away from her brow and kissed her cheek gently.
Eilin's glazed eyes opened up, but the fog in her mind was not enough to make her forget the beautiful face of her son. She felt her heart skirting at the memory. "Does Dis have my son? Where is he?" She asked anxious.
Thorin looked over at the corner. "Yes, she's cleaning him up."
"He's crying..." Eilin frowned and all her maternal instincts told her to get out of bed and take her son in her arms. To feed him, to caress him, to offer him comfort, to soothe his crying, but her body failed her as her other child demanded an entrance to this world. Eilin felt the contraction and threw her head back as her whole body trembled uncontrollably. She bit down on the cloth and felt it's liquids spilling into her mouth. Even though her already bruised lower body was suffering by the passage of the second baby, the pain unexpectedly was less.
"Your boy needs milk. When the second one comes you shall feed them both. Don't worry my darling." Dis smiled back to her.
Loa nodded. "I touch the head, it's not as big."
"Is that bad?" Eilin panted and looked up from her inclined position. Sweat was running like water down her cheeks, her neck and was even pooling on her heaving chest. Thorin kept her nape secure and used another cloth to cool her down.
"No, of course not my Lady. Different babies, different sizes." Loa said calmly and used some towels to wipe out the blood that was coming from the wounds around Eilin's tunnel.
Thorin looked at his wife's broken face. "Are you okay?"
She nodded and held her breath. "It's coming again..." She stuttered.
"Count...I will count with you." Thorin looked at her with such devotion, that Eilin's heart overflowed with bliss. Now that she knew how it felt to deliver a child she was not as afraid anymore. Only impatient to see the second one. To make sure they were alright too.
She breathed in deeply and counted alongside her husband and when the contraction came she released a cry of agony and pushed as hard as she could. She felt every single inch of her severed body opening up again with excruciating pain, but her lower muscles instinctively tensed and pushed on their own in a dire need to get the child out of her. When the pain numbed down she exhaled and fell back into bed exhausted.
"A couple of more pushes and they'll be out my Lady." Loa said and cleaned Eilin's bloody legs that were trembling.
Eilin nodded and opened up her foggy eyes to look at her husband. "Our boy...he has your colours..." a small smile cracked on her lips.
"Unfortunately. I was praying for him to have yours..." He smiled lovingly down at her and wiped the sweat away from her neck and temples.
She reached out and clutched his hand like a barnacle. "He's beautiful, just like you..." she whispered.
He felt his eyes tearing up.
"What shall we call him?" she asked and felt the traces of the contraction coming low in her back. She instantly tensed.
He tensed with her and gritted his teeth.
Eilin squeezed his hand tight and arched off the bed. "Oh heavens it's coming again..."
"Push my lady!" Loa cried.
Eilin's mouth opened up and she growled as the excruciating pain stole every single bit of logic from her mind, but that surprisingly lasted only for a few moments. Even though she had been expecting the pain to numb down again in order to offer her more contractions soon, this push of hers popped out the head and the whole body of the baby in one go. She felt her lower body throbbing, but the relief was immediate and immense. She exhaled hard and abandoned herself in Thorin's arms.
He kept her close to his chest and looked down at Loa who pulled out a much smaller baby that was not crying at all. She frowned and picked it up by the legs, keeping it upside down. She gave it three gentle smacks on the bottom and the baby coughed and began mewling, but the sound was faded, almost extinguished. Loa looked up at Eilin. "One more push my Lady to get out the babies home. Come on!"
Eilin nodded and her waisted body didn't have to try that hard. She simply squeezed her lower muscles and she felt a gush of liquids coming out that offered her instant relaxation. Loa gave a signal to one of the girls who came up and began pushing on Eilin's belly in order to help her body clean up. Loa wrapped the second baby in a clean towel and smiled at the couple. "It's a girl!" She said.
Dis came around holding the boy in her arms. "A double miracle for you my darlings!" She said and looked at her brother and her sister-in-law.
Thorin's eyes couldn't stop crying and he couldn't tear himself away from his wife in order to check on them. "A girl, did you hear that?" he whispered.
Eilin looked up. "I need to see her. I need to see Rhianaye!" she murmured and began weeping.
Loa brought her over and Thorin instantly felt his stomach dropping. His little girl was as beautiful as her brother and shared his colours, but she was much smaller, she wasn't crying and her skin had a slightly blue hue. He frowned up at Loa, trying to understand what was going on. The cautious look Loa's eyes returned to him, wrapped a gold hand around his stomach. He felt cold sweat breaking on his back.
"Oh, my baby girl. I saw you in my dreams...you were so beautiful. My pretty, my beloved Rhianaye..." Eilin was cooing her baby and caressing the black curly hair on the baby's head.
Thorin reached out to touch his girl, but hesitated and fear gripped his guts. His hand looked huge and dangerous as it hang above this frail little creature. "Why isn't she crying?" she asked.
Eilin didn't even hear him as she was enwrapped in bliss.
Loa shook her head to him discreetly and signalled him silently to follow her.
Thorin didn't want to go there and hear something bad about his baby. He wanted to remain here with Eilin and hope that everything was okay and that his instincts were wrong at that moment. He opened up his hand and touched the head of the baby gently. It could fit whole in the hollow of his palm and a shudder of apprehension run down his back. His baby girl, his little Gem was half the size of her brother who looked healthy and sounded angrily hungry in the arms of Dis.
He leaned down and gave a soft peck on Eilin's lips. She returned him an adoring look. "Isn't she just amazing?" She said and her eyes were full of love and admiration for her second baby.
"She's as beautiful as her mother." Thorin said with a voice that cracked.
Dis approached Loa and they exchanged a few words. Thorin looked at them and then at Eilin. "Can I go see our son?"
Eilin nodded happily. "Yes, my love. I feel fine, just very tired. Go..." She reassured him and she offered her breast to little Rhianaye.
Thorin looked with dread at the small newborn as it couldn't even find enough strength to open her mouth in order to grab her mother's nipple. He stood up and walked with unsteady legs to his sister. The moment he arrived his eyes fell at his crying son and he reached out to take him. Dis gave him over and Thorin cradled him close to his heart. This baby had a healthy peach colour and he was moving nervously, searching for food. "He needs his mother's milk." Dis said and wiped the sweat off her brow.
"What's wrong with my girl?" Thorin didn't pussyfoot around words. His eyes burned through Loa.
"She's weak and she has trouble breathing." Loa pressed her lips.
Dis closed her eyes and nodded. "She will need help with feeding and we need to have her skin to skin in order to regulate her temperature."
"That's why she's so blue? She's cold?" Thorin looked with dread back at the bed were Eilin was desperately trying to make Rhianaye get a good grip on her breast.
Loa nodded. "Yes."
Thorin didn't want to speak the words that came into his mind. He would have preferred to die on the spot than utter them...yet he did. "Is she going to die?"
Dis looked up sharply.
Loa shook her head. "I don't know yet my Lord, but I cannot hide the fact that she needs care."
Thorin felt his chest rattling with an explosion of emotions that he was unable to control. He looked away and cupped his mouth. He closed his eyes tight and counted inwards, trying to stop himself from coming apart in front of Eilin. Loa retreated discreetly and came around the bed to help Eilin feed the tiny girl. Thorin's arms tightened around Durin protectively. Dis' hand grasped his shoulder. "You have to be brave for your wife now...silence..."
He killed the sob that was threatening to come out and gave her a soft nod.
"Don't show her that something is wrong, you are going to destroy her. We will try to save the little one, but be strong for your wife. Do you hear me?" Dis' voice was hard.
"Yes.." He said feeling defeated. If nothing else could defeat him in this life, then the death of one of his children would be enough to kill him on the spot.
Eilin called at him from the bed. "We will call her Rhianaye, right?" She was glowing from the inside out.
Dis' hand gripped his bicep and squeezed him tight. He smiled back at her lovingly. "Rhianaye yes...I love that name." He agreed.
Eilin's eyes gleamed with rapture. "You hear that Rhianaye my little angel? Daddy loves your name."
A cold hand squeezed all the blood out of Thorin's heart and his sister hand tightened on his bicep. "Go to her, the boy also needs to eat."
Thorin nodded and approached. He looked down at his arms and pushed the blanket away from Durin's face. The boy began mewling again and Thorin brought him up to give his brow a soft kiss, which seemed to settle the firstborn a little. Then he sat next to Eilin and placed the boy in her arms. As she still struggled with Loa's help to make Rhianaye grip better, Thorin lowered Eilin's sweaty tunic and brought Durin close to her nipple. The boy's mouth traced around his mother's breast for a few moments before grabbing her nipple hard between his lips and sucking it hard. Eilin yelped and looked at her son with a look of utter bliss in her eyes. "He's so strong..." she whispered and wrapped her arm around his small body. As Durin sucked with zeal he brought up his small hands and began mauling his mother's breast.
"He's drinking..." he looked up at his sister.
She nodded and patted his back reassuringly. "He has a healthy appetite. So we have a name for the most beautiful little girl in the kingdom, but do we have one for the most handsome prince?" Dis tried to force herself to smile for the benefit of her sister in law, but her eyes couldn't leave the poor girl who was still shivering and had a difficulty even swallowing once when at the same time her brother was gulping down all the reserves of Eilin's milk.
"I have an idea. How about Thedric?" Eilin's eyes shone bright at Thorin.
"People's ruler?" He smiled softly and caressed her forehead.
"Yes, you like it?" she grinned.
He nodded gently. "Immensely, but will you allow me the honour of giving our son a name since you gave a name to our daughter first?"
Eilin huffed and closed her eyes. "Of course my love, forgive me."
Thorin pulled one of her hands up and placed a soft kiss at her palm. "Thank you."
Dis pressed his shoulder. "So what will his name be?"
Thorin's lips turned down. "He won't have an outer name yet..." He said thoughtfully.
Dis frowned. "Why?"
"We need to wait." He rejoined and Dis recognised the introspection in his eyes. She also knew that rarely did fathers avoid giving a child an outer name. Those rare cases where only if there was a hint of the baby being someone's reincarnation.
"Very well, what shall he be named temporarily then?" Dis raised her brow with a knowing smile.
"Farin." Thorin rejoined pensively.
Eilin looked up totally unbothered either by Thorin's unwillingness to give their son an outer name, nor by the fact that one of Rhianaye's gulps equalled ten of her brother's. She smiled up brightly. "I love it."
"Ancient?" Dis felt her eyes burning with tears.
"Isn't he perchance?" Thorin tilted his head at his sister. Then he turned at his babies and looked at them. He looked at Durin and his heart filled with pride and then his eyes turned to his little fragile girl and his soul peeled off it's layers in order to offer them to his little Gem as blankets to warm her up. He felt his throat constricting and leaned his head until his forehead touched Eilin's temple and there he remained. His arm reached out and covered Durin's body. His palm landed on the small body of his little Gem and he exhaled hard close to his wife's ear. "I love you all, so much..." He whispered.
Eilin turned and offered him a warm kiss on his temple. "We love you too..." She said in a hushed tone.
Dis allowed the couple to embrace as a family while the maidens cleaned the lower part of the Queen and she went to the door. She placed her hand on the handle and turned to her brother. "Shall I announce the births and the names?"
He nodded, but he didn't wish to speak to anyone. He simply wanted to hold his family close to his heart and pray that all of them would be alive to see the next day. His hand rested gently on the back of his little girl and his constricted breaths burned Eilin's skin.
When Dis opened the door she was flooded by Thorin's comrades who couldn't wait to learn the news. When Dis announced that the firstborn was a boy and that his name was temporarily Farin, the corridor exploded with thundering applause and whistles of satisfaction. Then Dis announced that there was also a little girl whose name was Rhianaye and everybody exclaimed in happiness and relief, sharing in the bliss of the Royal couple, but not in the fear that abounded in Thorin's stomach.
Eilin was too concentrated on her babies to share on the rapture that had overtaken the corridor outside, and Thorin couldn't bring himself to lift his head from Eilin's shoulder to see anyone. All he wanted was for Dis to close the door and allow him a few precious moments with his family, not knowing if his little girl would be breathing tomorrow. He looked down at his son who was sleeping contently on his mother's chest after drinking as much as he could. His little belly was bloated and he looked healthy and calm. He caressed Durin's hair and gave a gentle kiss on his small foot. Then he looked at his fragile little girl who had given up on the struggle to get a few gulps of milk down and was sleeping with her mouth hanging half open from her mother's nipple. His heart skirted and he closed his eyes.
Thorin didn't pull away from Eilin, not even when the bells of Erebor chimed in celebration of the birth of the royal twins. He didn't seem to care when the trumpets rang three times to herald the arrival of the heir to the throne of Erebor. He remained there unmovable counting the breaths of all of them, but especially his daughter's, until he heard Eilin's breathing becoming deeper. He looked up then and Dis saw his eyes red. He had been crying next to Eilin's head all this time silently. He drew back and rubbed his face feeling all the traces of his emotional exhaustion coming alive now that he didn't have to keep up a facade for his tired wife.
Dis sighed and came over to take little Durin. He twisted uncomfortably for a couple of moments, but then he settled down again as his sister tucked him inside the cradle that Thorin had made. With the help of Loa she brought it next to the Royal bed and looked at her brother. "Easier for her to get the babies for feeding during the night."
Thorin nodded and looked at his daughter who was cradled loosely in Eilin's arms. Loa went to the other side and picked the little girl up. "The Queen needs to sleep ma'am, but the girl needs skin to skin. She's too cold and she needs your heat to regulate her temperature, her breathing and her heartbeats."
Dis nodded and began undressing in order to wear the girl when Thorin stood up and stopped her. "What are you doing?"
"I am going to wear Rhianaye on my skin, didn't you hear what Loa said?" Dis frowned.
"So is this a prerogative of women only or something?" Thorin sounded pissed.
Loa pulled back confused. "Of course not my Lord."
He gave them a curt nod and took off his tunic. The maidens that had finished with Eilin and were covering her up, averted their eyes embarrassed.
"What are you doing wolf?" Dis' lips parted.
"I am going to wear my daughter." He raised his brow and opened up his arms expecting Loa to give him the baby.
She did and he took her carefully, afraid that he was going to break her. Her fragility squeezed at his heart mercilessly and a strong wave of fierce protectiveness towards this little girl captured his very core. It was a feeling that was going to follow him to the grave. He looked up at Dis. "I don't know how to do it! Care to show me!?" He sounded both impatient and annoyed.
Dis approached and showed him how to place the baby belly down on his chest so that her ear was above his heart. She then turned to Loa. "Bring over a sling, the biggest one we have." She said.
Loa searched the gathered slings they had prepared beforehand and brought one over. Dis took over the job of fastening it securely around Thorin's wide shoulders and back. It barely had enough fabric left to allow them to tie it at his side. She looked at him critically, but his eyes never left the little girl that was pressed on his naked skin. "I didn't count on you wanting to wear her. I need to make you a bigger sling. I will do so immediately."
He looked up lost and his hand came around Rhianaye's small body protectively. "Will this help her?" She heard the desperation in his voice and she felt her heart breaking.
"I hope so. Your body temperature, your breathing and your heartbeat will regulate hers. You need to keep her skin to skin all the time unless she is feeding on her mother, but don't try a skin to skin on Eilin while she's asleep. She might topple over and fall on the baby in her sleep. The one wearing Rhianaye must be awake for the whole duration. Either you, Eilin or me, alright? We will take shifts."
He nodded and wiped a few tears from his cheeks. Dis felt her heart breaking at seeing her brother shielding his baby girl so lovingly. She came over and pulled him in a tight embrace which he reciprocated. "We will do the best we can to save her okay?"
He nodded and a small sob left his chest.
"I am here for you wolf. I won't leave you for a single moment, okay?" She kissed his bearded cheek and caressed his hair.
Another small nod. "Do you think she is going to make it?"
"We will do our best...all of us...do you hear me?" Dis pulled back and cupped his cheeks.
He looked back at his wife who had turned on her side and was sleeping heavily. Then his eyes fell to the cradle where his beloved son was sleeping bereft of any troubles with a crimson royal blanket wrapped tightly around his body.
Dis gave another firm kiss to his cheek and pressed her arms around his waist. "Your wife was brave beyond words. She fought through this battle courageously and gave birth to two beautiful children. Now it's your turn to be brave for her and for them. Alright?"
Another nod came from him. "I will be..." he muttered.
Dis sighed deeply and turned to Loa. "Is the Queen clean?"
Loa bowed. "Yes, my Lady. She needs to rest as much as possible. Take the babies to her for feeding, but try not to wake her up."
Dis exhaled for the first time feeling traces of fatigue on her body. She looked out of the window and saw that the sun had set long ago. Eilin had been in labour all through the night and all through the day. "Thank you for all your help my dear woman." She told Loa.
The woman bowed respectfully. "It was my honour to deliver the heirs to the throne." The maidens next to her bowed also.
Dis brought Thorin his tunic and assisted him to wear it, but she pulled the strings apart in order to keep it open around the little girl. "Are you cold wolf?"
He shook his head and walked over to the cradle. One hand he kept on his daughter and the other he placed it on the cradle and began rocking it gently as Durin was mewling in his sleep. Dis placed her hands on her waist, feeling the crust of Eilin's dried blood under her fingertips. She exhaled and closed her eyes. "Loa, go and rest in my rooms. Lis is outside with the men. If I need you for anything I will call you."
Loa bowed and opened the door. Thorin's comrades flocked close to take a peek inside, but Loa didn't allow them. She closed the door behind her and silence fell in the room. Dis remained silent, admiring her brother who not only supported his brave wife during a rather tough delivery, but also had the presence of mind to take over his children immediately. She felt her heart swelling with pride, but the fear of the little girl's health didn't allow her to experience this domestic bliss for Thorin fully. She remained quiet for a rather long time, trying to calm down her own emotions before he turned to her.
"You look spent." He said quietly.
"You do too." She smiled.
He shook his head and closed his eyes. "I am fine."
She swallowed hard. "You look in desperate need to have a bath and some rest. Your wife is resting too. Allow me to look after the babies until you freshen up and then rest by her side for a while wolf."
He shook his head with a deep frown. "No...I cannot rest now Dis. Not while my daughter is unable to breathe properly. I shall not rest until I see her better." He looked devastated down at the small wrinkled baby that had her small head pressed above his heart, and felt that heart of his melting to mere nothingness. When he met Eilin and fell in love with her, he thought that was the pinnacle of emotions that he would ever be able to reach. That was until the moment his children were born, because standing there and looking down at this dark haired fairy in his arms a whole new array of intense emotions he had never experienced before in his life erupted and engulfed every single cell in his body and mind.
Dis nodded in understanding. "Will you mind if I go take a bath and change my clothes? I will be back immediately after that."
His words made her feel pride once again for him. "I have everything don't worry. Go and rest."
She approached and touched the middle of his back. She felt the shudder coursing through his body and understood how difficult all this was for him. She kissed him and leaned her forehead between his shoulder blades. "I won't leave you alone."
"I know." His deep voice reverberated in the room.
"I love you wolf" she whispered.
"Me too gerbil. Thank you for everything you did." He reached behind his back and clasped her hand tightly. She reciprocated and waited several moments counting her brother's breaths before giving him another tender kiss.
"Go." He shooed her away and reluctantly she opened the door and pushed everybody back. She told Thorin's comrades that the royal family needed some peace and quiet and that everything was well. On Balin's question if the babies were alright, the small hesitation in Dis' answer send a confused wave of apprehension through the men. Instead of managing to disperse them, she managed the exact opposite. To have them keep a silent vigil outside the doors of the Royal Chambers, impatiently waiting for Thorin to tell them some news.
As for him...he remained long next to the cradle, watching over his family with eyes that were full of devotion, but also full of dread. He took Durin again and offered him his mother's breast when he began fidgeting and took Rhianaye out of the sling carefully in order to offer her milk also. His son drunk as deftly as the first time, his poor girl barely managed a good job and Eilin didn't stop snoring. Thorin took care to allow his son to sleep on his mother first and then he moved him to the cradle where he covered him up with his blanket tightly like Dis had shown him and then he took the fragile and trembling body of his little Gem and placed her against his skin. Then he covered up Eilin and gifted her with dozens of kisses that released a sigh of relief from her chest, before sitting on the bed next to her. Eilin's arm wrapped around Thorin's stomach and she cuddled against him warmly while her breathing became heavy once more. He looked at the flames licking their way up through the wood and felt the total silence of the room weirdly troubling after all the commotion they had all experienced.
When Thorin's eyes left the fireplace they found his daughter once more yearningly. He looked down at her thin arms and at her wrinkled skin and his heart cried for her. He felt his eyes burning and he touched one of her tiny fingers with his large one. As if the baby understood, even though he was sure it was just an instinctive reaction from her, she reached out and grasped her father's finger with her small fist. When he felt that small miracle squeezing his finger tightly, the burning tears escaped his eyes and he closed them. Then he counted each and every single breath Rhianaye was taking...and he prayed.
He prayed long and hard that his strong heartbeat would help his little girl recover. He prayed not only to Mahal, but to all the Gods he knew for his little girl to have a chance in life. He may have seen her all grown up, a dazzling beauty in the Mirror of Galadriel, but nothing at that moment could remove the doubt from his mind that all that had been mere wistful thinking. Still he didn't allow himself to be drawn into darkness. He whispered to her, willing her to sustain with his help, telling her that he was not going to let her leave them without a fight. That he was going to fight with her, that he was going to be there to show her how to fight for her life.
When Dis returned she found the baby boy sleeping securely, and Thorin still awake, embracing both his little girl and Eilin. When Dis' eyes fell on the small fist around Thorin's finger she felt her eyes glistening with burning tears and she sat quietly at the armchair, ready to help her brother the moment he asked, but she didn't want to intervene.
Thorin Oakenshield at that moment was standing above his family like an angel and Dis was comforted by the knowledge that any doubt she previously had that Thorin would be able to cope was unfounded. Still she knew he'd need her support as he was the one supporting his whole family through this new ordeal of the baby girl's fragile health.
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