AN: Here it is, the final chapter, for real this time. Although this story has ended up being shorter than I thought it would be, I've really enjoyed writing it, and I've told the story that I set out to tell. I hope you guys have enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Fair warning, this chapter is suuuuuuper cheesy, but I like it, and I hope you do too. I have two one shots planned, one a fluffy one exploring what happened in Disney World to get Jack kicked off the Jungle Cruise ride, and a requested h/c one involving hypothermia. I also have another multichapter fic that I'm currently planning, which will be a werewolf AU that my sister requested. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a review!
For the first time since Mac had been separated from Jack by that collapsing ceiling back in the compound, he wasn't scared. Yes, he knew he was still in for some severe pain when his hearing finally came back, but he also knew that it was going to be okay. The doctors and nurses only looked at him with smiles, and both Riley and Jack seemed okay, which meant that they knew he was going to be okay, and the drug wasn't going to kill him. He'd already gotten back both his sense of smell and sight, so it was only a matter of time until his hearing was back too. It was all going to be fine, and Jack was right there, holding him. Everything was going to be okay, and Mac knew that like he knew laws of thermodynamics. So for now, even though the pain of regaining his hearing was imminent, Mac wasn't scared at all. He was completely content.
Mac let out a small sigh as he relaxed further into Jack. The man seemed to still be asleep, and Mac didn't want to wake him up. He had done so much for Mac throughout this whole ordeal, and he deserved to be able to sleep well for a while. Part of Mac was surprised that his own sleep hadn't been disturbed by nightmares, but Jack's presence so close combined with his complete exhaustion from the crazy events and extreme pain were probably to thank for that. He only hoped that Jack's sleep would be as undisturbed as his own. Jack was different from Mac when it came to nightmares. Typically, Mac would wake up screaming or in a panic, but Jack didn't. For him, it was more normal to wake up softly crying, or only with a small gasp. Of course, there were always exceptions, usually when the memories of Afghanistan or a disastrous mission like Cairo became too strong, but Jack had gotten good at hiding them. Or at least, he was good at hiding them while Mac was around. Mac could only hope that he just didn't really get them at all, but in their line of work, that was unlikely.
Still, he would take this momentary comfort for the blessing it was. If he could hear, Mac was sure his ears would be greeted with the sound of Jack's soft snores. As it was, he knew his partner was still asleep because of his steady breathing. Mac was right up against Jack, with his hand on his partner's chest and Jack's arm holding Mac close. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, and Mac could feel his heartbeat, strong and steady as well.
Part of Mac scoffed at himself for being so touchy and holding on to Jack the way he was, especially where anyone could see him, but he just couldn't bring himself to truly care this time. So what if Riley saw him snuggled up against Jack, it wasn't like she was going to judge him for it. She was the closest thing he had to a big sister, and it was okay to show a little vulnerability around her, it really was okay. Yeah, he had to take some extra time to convince himself that people didn't care and they wouldn't judge him and he deserved to be a little clingy after what happened, but it was progress. Growing up, his mother had showered him with constant affection and love, but James never had. Even after his mom died, James had never been there to hold Mac as he cried and grieved for her. Until he met Bozer, he hadn't had anyone to tell him that it was okay to want someone to just give him a hug. Bozer had truly been a godsend. Not only did he try to protect Mac from the multitude of bullies in Mission City, but he was always there for him, no matter what. He was the big brother Mac never had, and he made sure that Mac knew it was okay to want to be loved. Then Jack came along, and he was even more touchy than Bozer. That ended up being a good thing, because now, Mac was cuddled up right against the man who had been everything to him that James never was since he was nineteen. James never would have been okay with that. James never would have let Mac seek out that comfort. Growing up, he always just told him to deal with it and move on. Positive reinforcement was a foreign concept in their household. But despite it all, Mac found himself still craving James' love and approval. He knew that wasn't healthy, especially because he kind of hated the man after everything he'd done, but he couldn't help it. That was yet another reason why Jack was so important, because no matter what, Jack did love him, and he had no reservations about reminding him and showing him that. Growing up, that was all Mac wanted, and he finally had it. Why should he be afraid of showing that?
Mac fought to not move when the door to his hospital room opened slowly. He shouldn't have to move from his comfortable position against Jack, no matter who saw. It didn't matter, and people weren't going to judge him for it, they really weren't. Besides, it was just Bozer and Leanna. He couldn't stop himself from smiling when he saw them. They looked amazing, and Mac could even detect the light scent of Leanna's perfume and Bozer's cologne. The scents were fading, which implied that the two hadn't rested or showered since the start of this disastrous mission. Hopefully they would go rest up after seeing that he was okay.
Jack was awake now anyway. The moment the door opened, he woke up. It was an age old habit that had been trained into Jack since before Mac met him, but it had saved their lives on multiple occasions, so neither one of them really minded it.
Bozer was saying something, but Mac couldn't tell what. His smile fell. As much as he was not looking forward to the pain that would accompany getting his hearing back, he wished it would just happen already. He couldn't read lips, and he didn't speak sign language - but after this, he was definitely going to put in some effort into learning. Bozer seemed to notice that he wasn't so happy anymore, and looked at him with a sad, gentle smile. After saying something else to Jack, Bozer stepped forward and held his hand out to Mac, who hesitantly lifted his own hand up from Jack's chest in return. Bozer then took Mac's hand in his, and Mac quickly realized what he was doing. It was their secret handshake from fifth grade. They'd come up with it shortly after becoming friends, and neither one had ever forgotten it, despite the fact that it had been several years since they last did it. But it seemed to have the effect that Bozer wanted, since now Mac was smiling from ear to ear, and both Bozer and Leanna were laughing. Mac could feel Jack rubbing his back and holding him closer. That's all it took for him to relax again, and remember that everything really was going to be okay.
And then a dull pain blossomed deep in his ears. Despite it all, Mac smiled. It was going to suck, but he was going to get his hearing back. He needed to tell Jack. When he lost his hearing, he was in pain for almost two hours before it was finally gone, but it would be best for Jack to know now what was going on.
Mac lifted up his hand and waved it in front of Jack's face to get his attention. He chuckled at the man's look of surprise, but quickly started tapping out on Jack's chest in Morse code, "ear pain". Jack gave him a sad smile and pulled him even closer. It looked like he was telling Bozer and Leanna, based on their reactions. No one seemed exactly sure how to react. Really, it was a good thing, since it meant that he was going to be able to hear again, but no one, least of all Mac, was looking forward to the intense pain he would have to suffer through in order to get it back.
But until then, distractions would be nice, and Bozer knew that. Mac couldn't help but smile when Bozer showed him that he brought Die Hard, complete with subtitles, even though Mac knew most of the movie by heart since Jack had made him watch it so many times.
After popping the movie in, Bozer went back to the uncomfortable couch with Leanna, and put his arm around her. That was as comfortable as they were going to get. Mac, on the other hand, was very comfortable with Jack holding him close. He had to keep reminding himself that it was okay to stay that close, that he was comfortable and safe and that was all that mattered, that Bozer and Leanna didn't care and they definitely didn't think of him any differently for it.
About half way through the movie, the pain in his ears grew, but not enough for him to be about to get his hearing back. It was just painful enough for him to try to scratch his ear against Jack's chest, even though he knew that would do little to nothing. Jack noticed, of course, and started gently running his fingers through Mac's hair. It may not have helped the pain, but it did remind him that Jack was going to get him through it. He just had to breathe, and focus on the movie until it got too bad to ignore.
Becoming too bad to ignore happened faster than Mac thought it would. Not even half an hour later, Mac gasped as the pain spiked. He pressed his head further into Jack's chest, despite knowing that it would do nothing to make the pain go away. Jack began to rub his back and hold him closer, and both Bozer and Leanna stood up and made their way over to the bed. Mac glanced up at them for half a second before looking away. Bozer looked worried, but Leanna was leaning on him and rubbing his arm, which looked like it was helping. She was a wonderful woman, and Mac was glad that Bozer had her.
Another spike of overwhelming pain stole his thoughts, and he could feel himself crying out. Mac buried his head in Jack's shoulder to try to muffle his cries, and tried to focus on the fact that pain or not, this was a good thing. He was going to get his hearing back and everything was going to be okay. Mac could feel multiple sets of hands on him, and knew that Bozer and Leanna were there, trying to help him to get through it. It may not have helped, but he appreciated the gesture. Mac was sure that he was probably hurting Jack with how tightly he was clutching him, but he couldn't get himself to stop. It just hurt so damn much and Jack was always a steady force of safety and security. He could feel a thumb wiping away a tear that had escaped, and knew it was Jack. His partner would do everything he could to not let anyone see something Mac wouldn't want them to. He knew that if he had moved away from Jack once the others had entered the room, the man would have moved away immediately. But because Mac had shown that he was okay with it, Jack had stayed. That was one of the many reasons why he could never repay Jack for all he'd done for him. He always put Mac first, no matter what, and he always knew just what to do to keep him comfortable.
Mac held on to Jack impossibly tighter as another wave of pain overtook him. He cried out again and squeezed his eyes shut against the pain, not that it did anything to help. He could feel Jack holding onto him and rubbing his back and running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm him down. All he wanted was for the pain to stop, and he knew Jack wanted the same thing. But then, just like every other time before, the pain vanished, and Mac's ears began to ring. Slowly, he opened his eyes as muffled voices greeted him. He couldn't make out what they were saying just yet.
"...hear me..." Was that Jack?
"Mac..." Maybe Bozer?
Then the ringing faded away, and Mac looked up at his partner, who was staring down at him with hopeful eyes.
"Can you hear me, bud?" Jack asked, keeping steady eye contact with him.
"Yes!" Mac shouted, reaching his arms around Jack as much as he could to hug the man. "Yes, I can hear you, and I can hear me, and all of you," he said, grinning from ear to ear. This time, the tears he cried were from overwhelming joy.
He sat up from his place beside Jack and opened his arms for a hug from Bozer.
"It's so good to hear your voice, man," Bozer said, holding Mac tight.
"Think about how I feel," he replied with a laugh. "And Leanna," he continued, breaking away from Bozer. "I can't wait to hear you and Jack singing terrible karaoke songs on long stakeouts, and hear Bozer scream during a horror movie, and hear Riley typing, and hear Matty yelling at Jack for something stupid he did. It's so great to hear you all." In all seriousness though, Leanna did have a truly beautiful voice, and it was always lovely to hear her sing. Mac had been afraid that he would never hear it again.
"It's great to see that you're okay," Leanna replied with a smile, reaching forward to give Mac a hug. He returned it gratefully, and breathed in the sweet smell of her perfume. He could see her, and smell her, and hear her. He could see, smell, and hear them all, and it was the most amazing thing Mac could think of. "I'm gonna go let Riley and Matty know you're okay," she said. She stepped out of the room, and of course, Bozer went with her, the puppy in love that he was. Mac couldn't help but smile at his friends.
"She's right, man," Jack said once they left. Mac laid back down and resumed his position with his head resting on Jack's shoulder, and his partner's arm around him holding him close. "It's so good to see you so happy and okay and safe."
"And I have you to thank for that," Mac replied, sighing in contentment. Everything was going to be okay.
Jack scoffed. "As if. I didn't do anything to help you, I could only watch as you suffered and I couldn't even stop you from getting taken in the first place," he said, his own sigh one of self-deprecation.
"That is the furthest thing from the truth, and you know it," Mac said, pressing himself further into Jack's side as if to emphasize the point. "You're the one who got me out of that compound, the one who held me throughout the pain, and helped me get to exfil. I never would've been able to get there without your help. And now, you're still helping. You're here, and you're letting me do this, even when there are other people around and it ruins your tough guy persona." Mac didn't even look at Jack, he just laid there, holding onto him. His partner would get it eventually. They'd done this dance dozens of times, and in the end, Jack seemed to get that it wasn't his fault. At least, he let Mac believe that he knew it wasn't his fault. Whether or not Jack really believed that himself was still up for debate, but Mac did what he could.
"You know that your comfort and safety is way more important to me than anything else in the world, so of course I'll let you stay right there as long as you need." Jack paused for a moment, seeming to ponder his next words. "I'm just surprised that you wanted to. You normally like to move away as soon as anyone else is around," he finished in a lower voice.
Jack was right, Mac usually preferred only to do something like this when there weren't other people around. "I've been trying to work on that," he started, his voice barely more than a whisper. "No one actually cares, I know that, so I shouldn't change my actions because I think they might, because they don't. Bozer has known me since I was eight years old. His opinion of me isn't going to change because he sees me like this. So it really is okay, I know it is." He paused, then continued in an even lower voice. "At least, I hope it is." Mac was taking a big gamble. If he was wrong, then maybe everyone would think of him differently, maybe they would think he was too weak to be a competent operative, or maybe-
"Hey, hey, bud, I know what you're doing," Jack said. He began to run his fingers through Mac's hair again. Mac hadn't even noticed, but his breathing had skyrocketed, and Jack's gentle ministrations were in fact helping him to calm down. "But it is okay. I know your daddy did a number on you when it comes to stuff like this, but it really is okay. No one cares and no one will think differently of you because you need some comfort. You're a human being, and it's okay to need that. Alright, kid?"
Mac nodded against Jack's shoulder, and relaxed a little bit more. Deep down, he knew Jack was right, but it was still difficult to change his actions against age old insecurities. But that was part of what Jack was there for.
A few minutes later, a nurse came by to check on him, and gave him a clean bill of health. He would have to stay in the hospital overnight for observation, but he seemed to be perfectly okay. The drug itself was still being analyzed, but it seemed to have run its course through his body, leaving behind no permanent damage.
Matty had called, and assured Mac that she would be in to visit with Riley in tow before the day's visiting hours were up. But until then, it was just Mac and Jack, and a Die Hard marathon - with the subtitles turned off, Mac didn't need them anymore.
Snuggled up against Jack, breathing in the scent of gunpowder and fading Old Spice, watching Die Hard with his favorite person, and hearing both the annoying sounds of the hospital and Jack's humorous commentary, Mac couldn't think of anything he'd rather be doing. He certainly wouldn't be taking any of his senses for granted ever again. They were a blessing, and he knew that life without them was rough. The mad scientist was heading for prison, the drug had run its course through him, and everything was okay. With Jack by his side, everything would always be okay.