Thank you again to maybees for helping with my chapter! We make word magic together!

Things are normal, substance abuse, good friends, bad habits, and crazy patients

"We aren't doing this." Rick growled to himself as he steered the ship into the air, away from Harry Herpson Highschool. He took a quick glance back to find his crying granddaughter. Features softening, Rick leaned his head back against the head rest. The man looked forward, focusing his attention on his plan. "Gotta rip the band aid off."

—

Rick pulled into the garage, opening the door as he parked.

He headed straight inside the house. As he turned the corner to go in his room. Jerry stopped him.

"Oh my god I do not have the time nor patience for this. It would b-be better for the both of us if you just got out of my way." Rick barked at Jerry, far from being in the mood to deal with this symbol of mediocrity.

"Well I just got a call from the school saying Morty missed her first few periods." Jerry leaned against the wall and looked at his nails as if to look careless. "Have any explanations for that?"

"Jerry do you remember last time you d-decided to cross me and my daughter wasn't here?" Rick acted equally as nonchalant as Jerry's facade.

Jerry looked up and his laid-back look evaporated. "Uhhhh, no-"

"Of course, you don't Jerry do you know why?" Ricks eyes stabbed through the middle-aged worm man.

"Um-" He put a finger to his chin.

"Because I made you forget bitch! I can do anything I want! If I really felt like it, I could kill you and easily make a more likable clone before Beth gets home and no one would know or care."

"Y-You what?" Jerry exclaimed.

"I can clone you, bitch. Do you speak E-English?" Rick crossed his arms.

"No not that, the other part! The part about making me forget." Jerry shouted in a higher pitch than usual like he does when he's angry.

"It's not like it URP matters if I t-told you I would just make you forget again." Rick walked forward and purposely clashed shoulders with the man child, walking into his dark room.

He went straight to his holo-top, pulling up this previously searched list of fertile Mortys.

He quickly found the one he was looking for. Morty F566. Her Rita looked like she wouldn't be a problem, but the small brunette had that certain look . He knew she would be trouble, but not anything he couldn't handle.

They were in dimension K18ε6. He grabbed his blaster off his dresser and tucked it into a holster behind his back. It was only for emergencies.

He walked out his room and into the garage. He had to prepare to meet these people.

Jerry persisted in being the most hated person in Ricks mind by following him out into his workspace.

"Hey you don't see me following you into the bathroom when you got you business to do." Rick snarked.

"It's my house I'll follow you wherever I want." Jerry said with a false confidence.
"W-Whatever, I just have to get ready to meet these people." He sat down at his table pulling out several jars from under his work space. Some seemed to contain alien gems while others contained what looked like giant purple caviar.

"What people? Where are you even going?" Jerry asked.

"I'm going to save your daughters ass." He opened the jar with the glowing white quartz-like gems, and crushed them in his hands, letting the dust fall into the jars lid. He crossed the room and Jerry watched as the older man opened the closet and grabbed a light green fluid with a high viscosity. He poured about a tablespoon into the jar cap. A hissing sound seeped from the mixture and it bubbles for a few seconds before settling.
Rick pulled the solution up into a syringe. He opened the other jar and grabbed one of the jellylike spheres. He injected the solution into the purple ball, it hardened and crumbled into tiny red shards.

"What, are you making some kind of weapon?" Jerry asked honestly curious.

Rick took the handful of stones and pulled out a pipe in the shape of a weird blue dog looking creature. He packed the bowl. "Don't need a weapon. I need a buzz."

The old man put the pipe to his lips. He pushed a button on the side and he inhaled as the strange rocks he created disintegrated.

"Of course." Jerry rolled his eyes.

Rick held his breath for a few seconds before exhaling, pink smoke filling the garage. He coughed a few times "Okay. Let's do this shit." he grunted, setting his pipe down.

He whipped out his portal gun and set it to K18ε6. "I gotta remember to play nice." He aimed the gun to the floor and shot. "Bye Fucko." Rick waved to Jerry and hopped through the portal.

He fell into the garage, and landed on something metal.

"Ow! Motherfucker!" He hissed through his teeth. He could tell he bruised his ass pretty bad.

His surroundings were dark. He took a step forward and glass crunches. "What the hell." He quickly felt around until he bumped into a table. From there he felt around the edges of the room and found the light switch next to the door. Flicking it on, his eyes widened.

The garage was a mess. Broken glass, unidentifiable spilt liquids, and half-finished inventions haphazardly thrown on the ground.

"What the hell happened here." It was unusual for a Rick to be this messy. Sure, an unorderly space is normal but this place was utterly trashed. And even worse, this Rick, or rather Rita, was known to be fairly clean by Rick standards. Something was wrong.

Rick strode towards the door and opened it, calling out. "Ladies?" No answer. The house was not nearly as destroyed but an awful stench lingered in the air. The coffee table in the living room was covered with expired food and gnats, probably the source of the smell.

"Oh god. Ladies?!"

He ran to Rita's room which was by the garage. Beer cans and Red Bulls were scattered across the floor. This was the most unusual thing yet, because as far as his good encounters with the woman, she doesn't drink.

Rick was silently trying to make sense of the situation in his head however he picked up on a faint crying sound. The man followed the noise up the stairs and to The Mortys room.

He had no idea how he was going to handle this, but hey how hard could it be?

"I'm not high enough for this." Rick took a swig from his flask quickly and opened the door to find his female doppelganger on her knees with her face in her hands next to an empty bed. The room was clean, and the bed was made.

Rick cleared his throat.

Rita, startled, yelled and stood up. She pressed a button on her watch and held her hand out in a finger gun. Seeing the red laser dot on his forehead, Rick got the idea.

"S-S-Stay away!" The woman, clearly hungover and unstable. "Move a-and I'll blow your brains out!"

Play nice Rick.' He reminded himself.

"Wait! I'm D-348!" He put his hands above his head. He tried to keep his tone light and friendly. "Remember? We went clubbing at Quadacks with some other Ricks from the RMV?" He said. Though he left out the part where they convinced her to pop a bunch of weird square pills which ended up with her getting kicked out of the club when she got too out of hand, but not before she got the shit kicked out of her when she started trying to make out with someone else's beau.

Oh yeah, and no one took her to a hospital.

She held her stance. Her features shifted as she scanned her memory.

Rick got a better look at her now that she was standing in front of him. A few inches shorter than him. She looked just as bad as the house: her hair tangled, face gaunt greasy uneven bangs, shirt untucked and stained, dark circles under her empty eyes, lipstick smearing her lips and buck teeth, bruises and cuts in her hands and of course, a little bit of saliva on her chin.

"Damn, Rita what hap-" Rick started as he moved his hands down slightly.

"S-Shut up!" Rita shouted. "I remember you... Last time I saw you, you and the other Ricks convinced me to get a tattoo of a smiley poop on my ass."

Rick snorted, unable to take her serious because of the poicha he smoked minutes before. "Haha we t-told you it was an 'emoji' which means 'bravery'. How d-does your world only have emoticons and not emojis? Your Morty even laughed when sh-she saw." Rita's face darkened at the mention of her Morty.

Rick spoke soberly, "Where is she?"

The old woman bit her lip and looked down, shaking her head. She collapsed on the ground. A sob tore from her mouth, "She's gone." Her hands shot up to her face.

"What? What do you mean?" His stomach dropped.

'Oh no, shit.' Ricks hands returned to his sides.

"She, she's been g-gone for HIC six days." She hiccupped and wiped away some snot with her lab coat sleeve. "She w-went for one of her alone-walks like usual and never came home." She breathed in deeply and her voice broke even further as she delivered her confession. "I-I think I did something that made HIC her want to leave." Rita's sobs became more labored and she was almost hyperventilating.

She was falling apart and fast. Rick had to take care of this quick, so he could actually get some answers.

"I-I'm sure that's not it." Rick said with faux care.

"I-I-It had to be. We fought right before she left for her walk. Sh-She's a bit troubled, a-and she was threatening the neighbors for peaking over our fences. And she told me th-that if you're weak you get stepped on... a-and that's w-why I'm basically a d-d-doormat." Her voice trembled with melancholy and embarrassment. "Then she just l-left." Her hands fell onto to her lap.

"What if I t-told you that she probably didn't run away." Within a few steps, he was hovering over her, looking down. She made eye contact. "What if I told you it was worse, and she could be in serious danger."

Rita's was dumbstruck, even more so than she usually looked. "Wha- What are y-you talking about?"

"Your Morty has most likely been kidnapped by a weird possibly incestuous Morty trafficking ring." Rick speculated, though he was more than likely right. He was a bit surprised Rita wasn't aware of them, but now was not the time to chastise her.

"Why are y-you telling me this! Are you pulling my leg? I-I'm being serious, I don't know when I'm gonna see her again... If I'm going to see her again." She trailed off into a fresh batch of tears.

Rick squatted down and grabbed Rita's shoulders firmly. "Hey! My Morty is in danger too. If you help me I can help you."

Rita's sniffled. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"You promise?" She held out her hand.

Rick rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand, shaking it. "Yeah, whatever, we have a deal." He was being half honest at least. If he could actually find any leads on her. Actually, wrong wording. If he cared enough.

Rick stood up, offering a hand to the other scientist. "To your feet bro" she hesitantly accepted the hand, he pulled her up.

Rita rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. "O-Okay, What first?"

Since she seemed more at ease, he asked,"Okay, first I'm gonna need your Mortys hormone pills."

"What pills?" Rita tilted her head.

"You know the ones that 'normalize' Mortys."

She still said nothing

"The f-freaking period pills." Rick pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Oh! Oh no, it's a twice a year injection now." She answered. "She got hers as soon as she started two w-weeks ago."

Ricks hazy high was slashed in half by these words and suddenly he was stone cold sober. "What."

Eyyy I've been drawing fanart