Thanks to the wonderful Ravenshell for being my beta and a thanks to Sewersurfin for giving me some great feedback on a scene in this story! Now, on with the story!
Chapter 16
My muscles tense under the night's cold air. Hurtling across rooftops, I can see the city lights below are brighter than usual in preparation for the upcoming holidays. With the vibes between my brothers so disjointed, it honestly doesn't feel like that 'time of year'.
Master Splinter is expecting me to get this team under control. A recon mission is a perfect opportunity to get our dynamics back as a team and work on our stealth without running the risk of an unprepared combat.
Raph's movements are already hasty and reckless as he bounds crudely from rooftop to rooftop. I'll have to keep close tabs on him to ensure he follows my no-fighting orders. Mikey is usually several meters ahead of us hooting and hollering, but tonight he's particularly quiet and actually lagging behind, taking up the rear with Donnie. As we jump down to the last roof before the textile factory, I give Donnie a side glance.
His feet thud loudly against the rooftop as Mikey's soft landing follows beside him. I can't help but frown with concern as I actually look past the nasty attitude he's been broadcasting. He's so different, but it's not just the growth spurt. Refusing to put up with his guarded and boorish attitude, I haven't taken much notice of Donatello and allowed him to simply lock himself away in his lab for weeks at a time. The holiday spotlights bordering the billboard behind us offer an ample amount of light as my eyes trail over Donnie's awkward form. The skin of his arms and legs are scaly and slightly cracked as the flaked skin extends into the inside of his shell. The brown spots are more pronounced against his ashen skin. His hands are so large now, they look like boxing mitts at the ends of his wrists. Even his walk is different as he makes his way over to where Raph and I are standing. There's a stiffness in his walk as his legs bow out slightly with each step. He doesn't drag his feet, but due to their size, they still scrub the ground. He walks with an exaggerated gait of someone the size of Dogpound.
"He looks like crap," Raph mutters to me. "If we did run into trouble he's not gonna be much help." I ignore his comment but a part of me knows he's right.
"Alright guys. Each of us will stake out a quadrant of the building. Donnie, Mikey, you two will take the southeast and southwest sides of the building. Raph and I will take the northeast and northwest. Everyone clear?"
"Can I have southwest side, so I can sing 'I feel pretty'?" I groan rubbing my hand down my face at Mikey's childishness.
"On the contrary, 'West Side Story' took place in the upper west side of New York city, not the lower west side." Donnie says around a yawn.
"Leo, can I have—"
"No, Mikey, you cannot have the northwest side, now go to your post!"
"Hmpf… you're no fun." My youngest brother pouts before somersaulting and then backflipping toward the south side of the factory.
"Keep your communication gear on!" I whisper loudly to Raph and Mikey as they wave an acknowledgement before disappearing in the shadows beyond the rooftop. I grasp Donnie by his forearm before he goes into stealth mode. "Donnie, why don't you and Mikey share a post if you're not feeling well."
He glares at me before snatching his arm away. "Despite how incompetent you think I am, I can handle a stakeout, Leo," he spits with a level of disdain that almost makes me back off.
"I never once said you were incompetent." I give his arm a squeeze as I position myself in front of him. "Donnie…. is everything okay?" I try to make eye contact with him, but he looks off to the alleyway below us.
"Everything's just peachy." The sarcasm grates my nerves but I let go as he eagerly slips away from me and heads for his stakeout point.
"Told ya he shoulda stayed home."
"Shut up, Raph," I flatly mutter to my brother through the earpiece that I forgot was on my head. I shake off the chill of the night as well as the iciness of my troubling brother as I run and stealth my way to my surveillance spot.
I stifle a yawn fifteen minutes into our stakeout. I rock slightly back and forth from my seated position on an obsolete and tattered billboard directly in front of the southeast side of the textile factory. I yawn again trying desperately to stay awake. It's easier in my lab, because my hands are constantly stirring, pouring, or analyzing something so I don't have time to be tired. However, sitting still is making my battle with sleepiness all the more difficult. I close my eyes briefly only to snap them open again at the image of Leo being pried gruesomely from his shell. I hear its sinister laughter again. It laughs as it delights in showing me hallucinations of me maiming my brothers. How is it even possible for a hallucination to show me a hallucination?
Still don't think I'm real? You're a hard nut to crack, but I've got plenty of time…. you on the other hand, not so much. Tick-tock, tick-tock…..
As much as I hate to agree with a hallucination, it's right. I don't have a lot of time. My cells are unstable. The mutation could accelerate and I could start spontaneously mutating out of control. The sound of a door slamming snaps me out of my thoughts as my eyes search the premises below. I spot a rusty white van backing up to the garage door at the back of the building. I pull out my homemade binoculars and watch as two guys step out of the van. The back of their jackets are embroidered with images of purple dragons. Giving a coded knock on the garage door, they try to look as inconspicuous as possible. Seconds later, they are greeted by two identical white-collared men in black suits. The Kraang. The Purple Dragon lackeys start unloading crates into the garage. My lip twists to the side with curiosity. Okay, so the Kraang are definitely hiding something. If they're loading things here then they are probably trying to establish a headquarters of sorts, and they could possibly have a central database system already set up.
That's all the information I need as I jump down from the billboard. I almost fall short as I attempt to latch on to the smokestack beside the factory. I sigh in relief as I manage wrap my fingers around the top bar of the bricked tower. That could've been a nasty fall. Unfortunately, the upper rim immediately breaks under my weight as I claw at the brick sidings. My feet grate against the side of the smokestack a few hundred feet as my hand finally manages to grip the edge of a hole created by missing and decaying bricks. I realize it won't hold me for long as the outer bricks around the hole begin to crumble. Using my grappling hook, I aim and latch it into a busted window of the factory. I swing away just in time as chunk of the smokestack crumbles like a Jenga tower.
"Mikey!" Leo's voice crackles over my earpiece.
"That wasn't me!"
I listen to their distractive chatter as I crawl into the window space. Giving an estimation I would say I'm somewhere on the third floor. Knowing the center of the room will be the most prone to breaking beneath me, I shift slowly against the wall. I force my overgrown body to tread as lightly as possible as I attempt to maneuver over the warped wood and rusted aluminum flooring. Despite my best efforts the floor groans beneath me. I don't have time to react as the floor gives way and I crash through the second level. Shielding my face, I break through to the first floor. I brace myself for the hard impact, but the pain never comes. My body swings slightly in its upside down positon. I crunch my body upward to see what stopped my downward plummet. I'm shocked to see my right foot clutching a support beam. The bone spur on my heel is instinctually acting as a prehensile toe ensuring a firm grip on the thick wood.
"What's all that noise? Donnie is that you?" Great, Leo's back on my case again.
"The tower fell," I answer evasively as I tuck into a backflip and land loudly on the ground level. The robotic chattering of Kraang is straight ahead and coming closer to my current location. My heart races as I look around for coverage. Settling for a stack of crates, I dive behind them. I crouch as low as possible, silently peering through the spaces in-between.
"We can see that. Nice of you to state the obvious. Did you have something to do with that?"
I ignore Leo as I tune into what the Kraang are saying.
"The ones known as Purple Dragons have brought Kraang more mutagen previously lost due to the delinquents known as turtles." One of the Kraang bots speaks to the other identical bot while holding a boxed crate of mutagen that glows with a pulse between the bars of the crate.
"Yes. The ones known as the turtles will pay for the destruction of the place also known as Kraang's headquarters," the other one replies in a similarly annoying monotone voice as they head down a dimly lit archway.
I follow the aliens in full stealth mode, dodging into open doorways and branching hallways to avoid being seen. Hidden around the corner, I wait as the Kraang finally stop at a door at the end of the hallway.
"Whatcha doin'?"
I cover my mouth to shush the panicked gasp for air as my heart tries to climb out of my chest through my plastron.
"Mikey?!" I turn to my side and stare wide-eyed at my crafty little brother. "What are you doing here?" I growl, just above a whisper.
"I asked you first!"
"Mikey's with you?! Why aren't you at your posts?"
"Because we're inside the building, duh." I slap my forehead at my little brother's inability to keep his mouth shut.
"YOU'RE WHAT?!"
"SHHH!" Nearly spitting into the headpiece, I forcefully shush Leo through the communicator and slap my hand over Mikey's mouth as the Kraang stop their busy work at the door.
"Did Kraang hear the sound also known as voices?"
"No, Kraang did not hear the sound also known as voices. Kraang believes Kraang is experiencing the thing one experiences when sounds known as voices are heard, but nothing is there. Kraang should get a grip."
"Kraang should practice the motion of shutting Krang's mouth." The bickering Kraang disappear into the room and I sigh in relief.
"Did I just hear Kraang in the background?!" Leo's panicked voice makes me wince as I readjust my headset.
"Wait, why do Brainaic and dorkface get to kick Kraang butt? That ain't fair!" I roll my eyes at my meathead brother's booming voice.
"You've got 5 seconds to get your shells out here this instant!"
"Sorry, Leo, I'm not even that fast." Mikey gives me this dubious smile at my snide remark. I shrug it off as I motion for him to follow me as I start opening and looking in random doorways and open spaces. I hear the Kraang door open again and I yank Mikey with me as I hide in a side hall. The two Kraang bots unknowingly drone past us, disappearing into another part of the building. "Come on," I whisper, tapping Mikey's shoulder. He nods and follows me dutifully.
"What are you two doing?"
I sigh. "I told you I'm going to find the control room and download the Kraang files from their database."
"Donatello! Two more vans just pulled up with Kraang droids in them! You and Mikey get out of there NOW!"
I pick up my pace, checking rooms. Mikey does the same on one of the diverging hallways. "Can't… not until I found their control room."
There's an exasperated growl on the other end. "Donnie, you don't even know where their control room is or if they even have one here."
"I'll know it when I see it."
"Donnie, listen to yourself. You're not making any sense. Think for a minute. Be logical."
"I am being logical." I immediately bristle at the insinuated insult. "I just need to get their files and—"
"And what, Donnie? What if the Kraang have new weapons? What if the place is booby trapped? Have you even thought about that? What difference will files make if you both get caught, or worse?"
"I don't have time for this." Growing irritated with my brother's lack of confidence in me I turn off my communication headset.
"Dude over here! This room is colossal and it's got a huge soda can in it with shiny buttons all over it!" Mikey says while wiggling his fingers. I jog over to my brother's side as he stands gaping at the room before us. There are a few rows of skeletal power looms bolted to the floor which at one point in time had been the bread and butter of the Industrial age, but are now corroded and covered in cobwebs and filth. Rusted steel rods extend upward from the stationary weaving machines into a tangled web of intertwining metal that extends upward like the winter branches of trees. There is a broken staircase that curves upward to an open-space second level, closed in only by a railing that partially dangles to the first floor we're currently on. In the center of the room is a tall cylindrical database, which I would bet my prized toolbox contains Kraang intel. The high-tech cylindrical unit looks awkwardly out of place amongst the antiques that surround it. It's tentacle-like wires are entangled around some of the machinery and plugged into a Kraang power cell.
"Bingo. Nice work, Mikey." I pat his shell as I usher him in the room and immediate start prodding the high-tech Kraang equipment.
"Yeah, no problem, bro….. Uh, Leo sounds super mad," Mikey winces as he pulls the headgear away from his ears and drapes it around his neck. I can hear the faint squawking of my eldest brother through Mikey's headset and he's standing at least 20 feet away.
"You mean he sounds angry. Mad is a mental state of being, angry is an emotion. Rabid dogs go mad. Sentient beings get angry."
"Um, yeaaah….. I'm pretty sure he's mad… like 'about go cray-cray' mad.I hope this is worth it, D."
"So do I," I answer with a sigh as I press a button causing a triple-deck keyboard to slide out from the hardware. "Keep watch at the door. This will take approximately 10 minutes." He nods as he tightens his grip on his pocketed nunchucks. He doesn't joke or smile, but stands guard as I asked. I didn't mean to put him in the middle of all this mess. I hadn't expected him to follow me in, but I'm glad he's backing me up on this. I connect one end of a makeshift USB cord to the database and the other end to a small portable hard drive in my belt pocket. Eight minutes and forty-five seconds and counting.
"Someone's coming!" he whispers anxiously.
"Bar the door." I buckle down and let my fingers fly across the various keyboards hoping to speed up the transferring process. I jerk and wince at the sound of something heavy scrubbing the floor. I turn around as the grating sound makes my brain spasm. Mikey is pushing one of the loosened looms in front of the closed door. "What are you doing?! I told you to bar the door, not make enough noise so an entire Kraang army will hear us!" My panic is rising. I don't mean to snap at him, but seriously Mikey? ...Seriously?!
"Dude, what else was I supposed to use?"
With half-lidded eyes and a deadpan face, I point to a pile of discarded steel rods and piping beside him that could easily have been wedged silently through the door handle.
"Oh…. I guess that would have worked too…" I shake my head at his sheepish expression, but both of us jerk our heads at the familiar annoying voices just outside the door.
"The ones known as intruders have infiltrated the room known as the control center." Immediately lasers and bodily slamming rattles the barricaded door.
"Great." Dread drips from my voice as I turn back at the database screen. Four minutes and twenty-one seconds.
"Bro, I don't think this giant sewing machine is going to hold them off much longer." Looking over my shoulder, I see the large bowed dents coming extremely close to penetrating the door. My muscles tense as the last door ram causes the loom to collapse upon itself into a heap of junk in front of the door. It's still holding the door closed, but it won't keep them out much longer. "…Yeah, Leo…" Mikey's talking into his communication gear. "….We're okay…. Make a left down the last hallway…. you should see a bunch of Kraang playing pin the sledgehammer through the door—you can't miss it." He turns to me. "Leo and Raph are inside, they're on their way."
"Mikey, those Kraang are going to break down that door any minute now…. Do you trust me?" I solemnly stare him in the eyes. Even though things are okay between us, I need reassurance that he doesn't think I'm crazy or incompetent. These next few minutes are crucial and will be in vain if he doesn't trust me.
"With my life, bro." He says it with such a blind certainty, without the slightest hesitation. There's no humor or nonsense in his voice and when I see the resolve in his eyes, I instantly know he has my back. His blind faith in me is strangely admirable.
"I need you to fight them off as long as you can…. buy me some time. Leo and Raph should be here soon to help hold them back too. I can't leave without these files. They're gravely important."
"For the retromutagen?"
"…..Yeah," I quietly answer with a lie. He looks at me, then the control screen which reads three minutes and two seconds.
"Don't worry, I gotcha shell, D." And just like that, without a pause or question, nunchucks are spinning like mini helicopters at his side as he plants his feet, steadying himself for the incoming Kraang seconds away from destroying the door.
I frown when I turn back to the screen and it still displays three minutes and two seconds. "No, no, no…" I wiggle the crude USB cord hoping the connection hasn't been disrupted. Suddenly, I hear the sound of metal twisting, a boom, and my little brother's exaggerated battle cry. My fingers are a blur as I try a different downloading method. In my peripheral vision, I see Mikey fly into the side of a loom machine, but before I can blink he's up again keeping the Kraang at bay. I smile to myself as the downloading picks up where it left off. Just two more minutes and we're home free.
"Sweet, more Kraangs to crack! I love this game!" I can hear the cavalry as Raph and Leo join the fray.
A swift tug on my shoulder triggers a bo-wielding reflex as I make a quick jab with my bo staff to the offending grip. When I connect with air, I turn around to see a very ticked off Leo glaring at me.
"Let's go. Now." His eyes are glossed over in a dangerously contained fury. He means business. Without looking behind him, he slices an approaching Kraang bot in half.
"Just 90 seconds left." If the nonplussed look on his darkening face is any indicator, I wager to say he is thoroughly livid right now.
"I said, NOW!" he yells over the blaring noise of clashing weapons and laser guns and reaches for the USB cord. Before he can yank the cord, I immediately slap his hand away with the spin of my staff.
Twenty seconds left.
This time he tries to manhandle me away from the processor, but I shove him away.
Ten seconds left.
"Man, they're flooding in like roaches!"
"Really, Mikey? Did ya have to compare 'em to roaches?"
I look past Raph and Mikey to see even more Kraang bots pouring in through the door.
3…2...
I duck as a stray laser blast ricochets off the screen behind me and continues its rebound path. Mikey is approximately 50 feet away from me. The floor from the visible second level is loose as bits of debris fall around him. That wayward laser blast is traveling at a forty-five degree angle toward the crack in the second level floor. "MIKEY, LOOK OUT!" I shout, but I know as fast as my brother is, he won't be quick enough. I throw my staff at the railing dangling from the second level causing it to swing down fast and hard; it collides into Mikey's side, knocking him a few feet back just as the laser blast hits the crack in the ceiling. A chunk of the second level crashes to floor leaving a sizeable crater where Mikey stood mere seconds ago. The chunk manages to take out a few nearby Kraang bots. Raph turns in surprise at the loud boom and Leo looks at Mikey with mixture of shock and relief. 'Download Complete' flashes across the screen and I pull the cord, making a sprint toward Mikey. He winces as I pull him up by his extended hand. There's a nasty cut on his arm from where the rusted rail forced him out of the way, but otherwise he seems okay. I take off my mask and wrap it securely around his arm to stop the steady trickling of blood.
"Did you get the files?" he asks hopefully. I smile.
"Yeah, I have them." Leo rushes over to cover Raph's flank before seconds later throwing down a smoke bomb, I follow suit, tossing down two of my own. While the Kraang search cluelessly for us, we escape through a glassless window. Traveling the rooftops, we don't stop until we're at least 6 blocks away on a storefront rooftop.
My brothers barely break a sweat, but my chest tightens like a vice as I bend over, hands on my knees, to catch my breath. My arms and legs burn with over exertion, but I immediately make my way to Mikey to check his arm again.
I do a quick scan over my brothers, immediately taking inventory of any bodily harm. I spot a few bumps and bruises on Raph…. Mikey has the worst injury, a gash on his arm. The adrenaline from the unforeseen Kraang fight is slowly tapering off and being replaced with a fast burning anger that brings instant heat to my face despite the dropping temperature outside.
"The bleeding's stopped… that's good." My eyes narrow as I watch Donatello examine Mikey's arm…. the arm that's gashed open because of his foolish actions. "It's pretty deep though, so I'll need to stitch it when we get home. As a precaution, I'll probably need to—"
Before I know it, I grab Donnie by the leather strap across his chest and yank him away from Mikey.
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" I am too angry, too furious to keep the tone of my voice level. "WERE YOU EVEN THINKING AT ALL?!"
"Leo, bro, chill… it's—"
"No, I'm not going to 'chill', Mikey." I snap my glare briefly to my youngest brother. Raph is surprisingly quiet as he firmly holds Mikey back by the shoulders when he makes an effort to step toward me. "I gave you an order, Donatello." I turn back to Donnie, stepping toward him as he progressively steps back. "I told you this was recon only and you purposely disregarded me to do your own thing!"
"Leo, I told you those files are important! I need them to—"
"You didn't have a plan." My words strike with intended harshness as I jab him in the plastron. "You didn't have back-up." This time, I shove him. "Or… or… ANYTHING!" My hands pantomime my anger as I wave them fiercely over my head. "Not only did you go foolishly and blindly into enemy territory, you took Mikey with you! It's one thing to be stupid and reckless by yourself, but to drag Mikey into it?"
"I didn't even know he was following me!"
"And he wouldn't have followed you if you stayed at your post like I told you to! You almost got him killed!"
"But I didn't! He's fine!" He gestures his arms to our youngest brother.
"That's beside the point! You disobeyed a direct order. You willingly sacrificed the safety of our brother over stupid files!"
Something fierce sparks in his eyes as he shoves me back with an unexpected callousness that almost makes me stumble back, but I hold my ground. "I had everything under control! I knew what I was doing! If you would just listen to me and—"
"No, you listen to me and you listen good." Unsympathetic anger clouds my mind as I look up to my taller younger brother with a threatening scowl. My breathing slows as my voice drops to a dangerous octave. "The next time I tell you to do something, you better do it. It's enough when Raph goes off the handle, but YOU?... We don't need that kind of narcissistic, irresponsible attitude on this team."
It is holy silence on the rooftop. I step back from him, still glaring him in the face, searching for signs of acknowledgement, remorse, obedience to my directive. I see none of those things in my brother, but what I do see cracks my hardened resolve. Without his mask, it's easy to see the bags under his eyes that are so dark and prominent, they look like bruises against his discolored skin. His arms shake at his sides with small tremors as he clutches his hands into tight fists. His brows are furrowed into a deep frown of concentration. For a minute, I think he is looking at me, but when I move from his line of sight, his eyes do not follow. His face distorts from anger into something more haunting. I hear his breath quicken as his eyes mist over in a confusing array of emotions…. the most expression I've seen in my brother in months, and just like that… it's gone. I cast a questioning look toward my other two brothers. Raph shrugs his shoulders and Mikey just keeps staring at Donnie with this dreadful look in his big blue eyes.
Donnie looks down at me with a mask of hard indifference, grinding his teeth into snarl. "I get it. You made yourself perfectly clear, oh great leader." Whatever glimpse of emotion I saw, is now deeply guarded behind an impenetrable wall of a malevolent and sarcastic attitude. With a sigh of frustration I lead my brothers back home, wondering why I'm such a terrible leader. Tonight was supposed to strengthen us as a team but instead its shifted us even further apart.
"Owowowowowuuh!"
I sigh pausing my stitching to give my brother a narrow-eyed stare. "If you be still, it wouldn't hurt so bad."
"It doesn't hurt when Donnie does it."
"Well, Donnie's not here, so you're stuck with me!" My baby brother visibly shrinks back at my snappish tone and I instantly feel like a heel. I sigh again. Mikey's squirming on the medbay while I sit in a chair, patiently trying to stitch the gash on his arm. Donnie was dragging behind us on the way home, but somewhere between the underground tunnels and our home, he disappeared. I was going to go look for him, but Raph said to give him some space. Reluctantly, I agreed it was probably best for now.
"Sorry, Mikey. I didn't mean to snap at you." His shoulders slump a bit as he accepts my apology with a light head bob. "You know, I'm glad you followed Donnie to try and get him out of there."
"Dude, I wasn't helping him get out, I was helping him get the Kraang files he needs for the retromutagen." I'm shocked at my brother's confession. As his leader, I should give him an earful on how irresponsible he was and how he should have properly handled the situation. I take a breath to start my lecture, but release the breath in another sigh. Who am I kidding? No one actually listens to what I say anyway. So, I remain silent as I continue a steady stitch on Mikey's arm.
"He just wanted you to trust him, Leo. He just wanted someone to have his back."
"How can I trust him when he runs off half-cocked without telling anyone? How can I have his back when he doesn't follow my orders?" I stop stitching as the pitch of my voice raises with a touch of hurt from my Mikey's words. I'll always have their back…. always. "I can't protect him when he does things like that…. I can't protect any of you if you never listen to me…" I trail off as I mutter the latter part. I finish the last stitch before tying off the surgical thread.
"Leo, you've been our leader for, what? ...A year? But you've been our brother, like, forever, dude." I look at my brother, puzzled by his words, not sure what he's getting at. "Sometimes, we just need our brother to have our shells, not a leader to boss us around." His eyes shine with subtle wisdom I rarely see in my baby brother. "Donnie's in a weird aura-space right now and he really needs Big Bro Leo, not Captain Bossypants Leo.
"Captain Bossypants? ...Is that what you guys call me behind my back?"
"Nah, just me. Raph calls you an arrogant son of –"
"I get the point." I give my little brother a half-smile. He returns it. "You may need a tetanus shot."
"Wh-what?! Why?!" he whines with heightening panic. He hates shots.
I give him a sympathetic smile. "I don't think you should chance an infection from that rusted metal railing."
"But… but, you disinfected it and stuff, right?" he asks as he curves his arm to get a better look at the stitched up gash. "Looks fine to me!"
"It'll be kind of hard to use your nunchucks with an amputated arm." My implication makes him pale slightly at the imagery of my words.
"Fine…" he huffs as he crosses his arms, but then hisses in pain.
"Mikey, be careful. I just stitched that," I gently chastise as I get up and walk to the medicine cabinet. Let's see, where does Donnie keep the vaccinations again?...
"Second cabinet on the left." I look curiously back at my little brother. He shrugs. "I spend a lot of time in here…something was bound to stick up here eventually," he smiles, thumping his head with his index finger. Following his directions, I find the tetanus shot vaccine containers already premeasured. I turn to Mikey with a nod of approval. Staring at my baby brother, I wonder when he decided to grow up on me and become so knowledgeable and intuitive. Then again, a part of me knows Mikey's always had a certain level of emotional know-how. I really don't give him the credit he deserves.
I'm approximately 100 feet away from the lair's entrance. Thirty minutes ago, I managed to 'lose' my brothers in the sewers to recollect my thoughts. It really wasn't that hard to slip away from them; I don't think they noticed or cared I was missing. I just needed some time to reel in these vicious thoughts, which is getting harder and harder to do. For the most part, I have my emotions in check, but just barely. My mind keeps going back to Leo's words on the rooftop:
"... We don't need that kind of narcissistic, irresponsible attitude on this team."
More specifically, they don't need me.
They don't want you.
I ignore the feeling of rejection as I force it to the back of mind. It's not important right now. What is important is searching for any mutagen information on these Kraang files. There must be something on them to help create an inhibitor. With a determined huff of breath, I make my way to the lair.
It's fairly quiet in the lair. I assume Leo is patching up Mikey's arm. A tinge of guilt hits me for dragging Mikey into this despite his willingness to help. I turn the corner toward my lab, only to find Raph leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. He looks up at me with a scowl that somehow holds me nervously in place.
I clear my throat. "Is… is Mikey okay?"
"Yeah, he'll live. Leo's stitching him up," he answers, but his hard stare never leaves my face.
"Okay, well… I'll just wait out here until Leo's finished." I thumb over my shoulder toward the den as I back away.
"You can stand here and pretend like you didn't just pull one of my half-cocked moves if you want to, but I'm not playing that game." I swallow hard. I cannot deal with Raph right now. I barely kept it together when Leo blew up at me….I'm barely keeping it together now. "I don't know what kind of crazy kick you're on, but knock it off." I attempt to walk away but he yanks me back by my arm. "Hey, when I start siding with Fearless, you better start taking notice. You pull a stunt like that again, and you won't have to worry about Leo, cause I'll—"
"You'll what, Raphael? Tell me how pathetic I am? ...smack me? Knock my lights out?..." I blurt out a list of abusive actions, rising anger teetering venomously from my tongue.
"All of the above if you keep on yakking."
"I'd like to see you try."
"Look, you overgrown skyscraper, I ain't messin' around. You almost got Mikey killed back there!"
"Right, nice to know who you're really concerned about," I glower before turning my back on him to head to the den. Again, he grabs my arm, nearly wrenching it out of its socket as I stumble toward him.
"What the shell, Don? ...No! I ain't lettin' ya slide this time. You better start talking before I knock your block off!"
I've had enough. The anger of never being enough; the hurt of being unwanted; the constant pain of being unloved comes out in a single punch across Raph's jawline. The blow knocks him back as he stares at me in surprise at my sudden burst of fury, but I'm not finished yet. I yell as I charge him, but he's ready for me, trapping me in a bear grip.
He tries to wrestle me to the ground. "Will ya calm down?!" Rage floods my brain like boiling lava as I flip him on his shell. I straddle him, using my fists to pound in his face. He gets a few well aimed punches in but I feel nothing as I continue to wail on his face with bloody fists.
"Arggh!" I grunt out incomprehensible sounds, unable to express the raw emotions clouding my mind. He struggles beneath, nearly knocking me off him. My hands grip his neck with an ease that should frighten me, but it doesn't. I pull him up by his throat and slam him against the concrete floor. I press my thumbs against his trachea.
Harder.
He grips my hands trying to pry them away from his throat
Harder.
I press down harder as he wheezes, still trying to kick beneath me.
Harder.
Just when I'm sure this final squeeze will end him, I'm grabbed by the cuff of my shell and tossed to the side.
I feel a headache coming on as I can feel my head pulsing in rhythm with my racing heart. I push myself to my hands and knees, blinking at the suddenly too-bright lair. Leo's beside Raph, sitting him up as he gulps for air. I feel someone kneel beside me, putting their arm around my shell. Slowly, the fog lifts from my mind. I come to myself just in time to see my father's threatening glare as he stands between Raph and me.
"I will not allow this behavior in our home! You will not continue this bitter rampage in this family!"
His eyes hold a contempt that I've only ever seen when he talks about Oraku Saki, or any other threat to his family, and the thought of the indication hurts.
His family. You are threatening his family.
And I'm no longer a part of that family. The realization of his words send me tumbling backwards as if I was stabbed in the gut with hot iron rod. The heat of his words boils at my core and pulses through my entire body. The hurt, shame, self-loathing… it makes my stomach turn in knots and my chest ache. But these are not the words I express to my father.
"I hate you."
"Donnie, wait!" I nearly bowl over Mikey as he tries to hold on to me. I forcefully shrug him off and head for my lab, using every fiber of my being to slam the door behind me.
TBC...
A/N: Whoa...talk about drama! Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. I just want to give a HUGE collaborative thank you to everyone who has left a review, PM, favorited, and/or followed this story. It means more than I have words to express. You guys are the most encourage reviewers ever. I really feel undeserving of some of the grand titles and praise you give me. Thanks again for reading and please leave a review, I love hearing you guys! XD