A/N: I know that was a horrible cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter. Unfortunately, this chapter is fairly short and serves as a 'bridge' between cliffhangers. I promise chapter 20 will be much longer. So here's a little calm before the storm ;) Also a huge thank you to Ravenshell for being my beta. Even when I forget to mention it in the Author Notes, know that she is the one who keeps my grammar and awkwardly placed words in check ;)

Chapter 19

Pulling the garage door down, I stumble into my lab. I tense my body trying to lessen the uncontrollable twitching of my limbs. Groaning, I raise my hand to my temple. My headache has worsened since I left from meeting April. God, April….

I push all thoughts of her into farthest parts of my mind to be devoured by the migraine threatening to split my brain in half. A startling shuffle near my cabinet, grabs my attention. I close my eyes as I slowly turn my head toward the curious noise to keep my sore eyes from falling out of their sockets.

My chest tightens as fear and panic prick my senses. "Mikey?..."

"Oh! Hey, bro! How was your sewer walk? Are you feeling any better?" His smile is full of warmth and genuine concern, but it's not just Mikey's appearance in my lab that is about to give me a heart attack. My little brother is standing in front of my lab table where all the canisters of mutagen that were previously locked away in my steel wall locker, are now neatly lined up on the table. Their malicious glow taunts me, as it appears to pulse every few seconds from their contained form. Mikey follows my eyes to the mutagen. "Oh, yeah, thought I'd go ahead and get all of the supplies out you'll need, so you won't have to hunt for them. See? ...I got your Bunsen burner, beakers, the central-fudge spinning thingy, and the mutagen so now you can go straight to work, no worries, no stress, no—"

"How… how did you get in my locker?"

"Dude, everyone knows your combination lock is set to April's birthday, easy-peasy!"

What if he absorbed some of the radiation? How long will it take before his cells start mutating… before he starts dying?

He gives a light-hearted laugh. "Hey, do you need me to grab anything el—"

Somewhere in my head, my concern morphs into anger. "Get out of the way!" Snarling, I elbow him away from the tabletop of mutagen. I frantically start putting the canisters back inside the wall locker, clicking the lock back into place. "You stupid, incompetent, moron!" Angrily, squeezing the air with my fingers, I close in on him as he backs away toward the door.

He blinks at me with doe eyes. "D, wait!" He holds his palms toward me trying to stave off my advancing footsteps. "Calm down, bro. I was just trying to help!" He pleads with me as his voice trembles.

"Well, you're not helping! I never asked for your help! You're just making a mess of everything!"

"I'm…. I'm sorry, Donnie, I—"

I'll make you hurt them, tear them limb from limb. Especially the little one, he just looks so sweet and tasty like a cinnamon roll.

"Get out." I narrow my eyes at the sound of the predatory voice in my head.

"But D, I didn't mean to—"

"I SAID GET OUT!" I don't remember throwing anything, but I do remember hearing the sound of glass shattering. The tinkling sound of broken glass breaks me out of my blinding rage. My mouth drops in regret and shame as pieces of glass litter my brother's carapace. His head slowly emerges from his shell. In his quick reaction, he turned just in time for the projectile beaker to collide with the upper part of his shell instead of his face.

In shock, I stare at my raised hand and then back at my little brother. "…M-Mikey, I..I…" Before I can utter an apology, he scrambles out of my lab without so much a second glance.

Poor Donatello chased everyone away…. Now you have no one… no one but me.

Mikey...the one person who hasn't shunned me and I scared him off. There's no one to chase away the voice now. The muscles in my neck twitch causing my head to tick toward my shoulder. I don't know if it's from the mutagen poisoning or if I'm finally going insane.

The taunting voice remains active in my head as I spend the next hour reanalyzing my biological results for the fifteenth time. The complex chemical equation for the mutagen, every microscopic detail of my genetic makeup… I scrutinize it, rip it apart and put back together again. I gravely look away from my beloved computer. I've exhausted my knowledge and know-how. There is no change. My cells are too far gone. All my results point to two conclusions: losing myself through a dangerous mutation or slowly succumbing to a cancerous demise. It's like flipping a double-headed coin of death.

With a trembling hand, I pull out the vial I swiped while I sent April searching for random useless items in the animal clinic. I rub my thumb over the label. Pentobarbital. A barbiturate drug used to relieve tension, anxiety, nervousness, and insomnia. In high consumption, can be used as an euthanasia.

I stare judiciously at the suicide vial. It would be the logical thing to do. It would be the less troubling alternative for my family… I would be doing them a favor. I don't want to die, but I will if it will keep them safe.

As I reach for a syringe to administer the drug, my brother's words ring as clear as a bell in my conscience:

Maybe you just need to try something different, you know, think outside the box.

Another alternative option crosses my mind… the very idea is absolutely insane, a notion I still do not trust. But then I remember a quote by Albert Einstein that truly defines insanity: 'Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.' Comparing my brother's words and Einstein's, I'm convinced Michelangelo is unknowingly the embodiment of uncanny wisdom. His words may have just saved me from making a huge mistake. I place suicide vial in my top desk drawer for safekeeping…just in case this unorthodox option doesn't work.

Doubt in the forefront of my mind, I step out of my lab... what else do I have to lose?

TBC...

A/N: What exactly is our genius turtle planning to do?...Think outside the box of course! ;)

On another more awesome note, fellow fanfic writer Silvermoontwentyseven and I are collaborating on a TMNT fanfiction entitled "Psychosis." Here's the summary:

When Leo and Donnie are taken captive by the Kraang, Raph and Mikey are their only hope. But even if their brothers can rescue them in time, will they ever be the same again?

It's posted on her profile page and you can also find it listed under my favorite stories list. We've been planning this since April and we're super excited we finally have the first chapter posted! Silvermoon has written Leo and Raph's point of view for this story and I will be writing Donnie and Mikey's. Silvermoon is an exceptional writer and I feel truly fortunate and blessed that she found me worthy to collab with! Seriously, the way she gouges out your feels and serves them to you raw on a platter with a side of brokenness and sprinkled with angst is just amazing!

So, if you like drama, angst, and adventure, check it out! Leave a review tell us what you think!

Until next chapter!

Poetique