Chapter 20: Not What I Had In Mind

We had started walking through the rest of Waterfall a while ago. Me, Sans, Flowey, and Chara had all been joking around and actually having a bit of fun, when Undyne first found us.

She was about to charge at us when she saw Sans. "What are you doing you idiot!"

Sans threw a protective arm out and pushed me behind him. "i'm delivering her to my brother, undyne, there's no fishy business here."

Undyne scowled at the pun, and stepped just a bit closer. "You're not delivering the human to Papyrus, Sans. I'm delivering it, to the King. Then he'll see that he made a mistake making your damned brother Head of the Royal Guard!" It was silent while they glared at each other. Then, she spoke again. "I'll be taking the human now."

Sans pushed me farther behind him, "Over my dead body," he growled.

We entered a fight. Sans almost died. I died saving him.

When I opened my eyes, we were back at my last save point, the save point that was just 15 minutes before we ran into Undyne.

Flowey looked up at me with sad eyes, Chara was scared for me. And Sans…. he was angry.

Sans wouldn't look at me, he just stared at the ground, fists clenched. I stepped close and gently put my hand on his arm. "Sans….. It wasn't your fault. I'm the one who willingly stepped in front of her attack, so it's my-"

I was yanked into a hug, and squeezed tightly. "don't say that. just don't." I hugged him back, and we just stayed like that for a little while.

When he let go, we started walking again, hand in hand. "frisk, don't get yourself killed again either. not for me." I didn't know what to say, so I just squeezed his hand a little.

It was silent as we slowly walked to where we'd be confronted by Undyne, until Flowey spoke up. "Frisk?" I hummed in response. "Can you tell us what your world's like again? And the monsters and humans up there?"

I nodded and cleared my throat a little. "Well, we'll start with the surface first. Up there, the sun shines brightly. And in the summer, it's hot enough to go swimming in beautiful blue oceans with soft sand to lay in on the beach. And in the fall, the weather is perfect. It can be warm with a slight breeze, a myriad of colorful leaves being blown away by the wind. And in winter, when the snow first falls it's sparkling and untouched, it's just a wonderful winter wonderland. And spring is just beautiful with the fresh green grass and leaves, and the blooming flowers. But my favorite part about the surface is when the sun sets and rises with those beautiful warm colors, and when night sets. At night, when you're far from big towns and cities, the stars are like diamonds shining brightly in the sky and it's just….. mesmerizing." Everyone was absorbed in what I was saying, even Undyne who was just up ahead and could hear what I was saying from this distance.

Chara was floating backwards in front of me, "And the humans? The monsters?"

I closed my eyes, a small smile on my lips. "Everyone's wonderful as well. All of monster kind is just so amazingly compassionate, and there are close to none disputes. And everyone has their own unique personality, and their own little quirks. I just love them all." I opened my eyes again, "The humans can be just as kind and unique, but they aren't all always like that. Some of them can be just as hateful and cruel as some of the monsters down here, and how I assume the majority of humans are up on the surface."

Then, all too soon, we were facing Undyne.

Sans moved in front of me, and made sure Undyne wouldn't be able to hit me. "don't do anything stupid, okay sweetheart?"

I nodded before realizing that he wasn't facing me, "Okie Dokie."

I could tell Sans had smiled a little at my choice of words, but he soon went back to being serious.

I would say that Undyne looked the same, almost seeming viciously excited. But…. she wasn't. She almost looked…. reluctant, or…. guilty. She just looked like she wanted to get this over with. So she immediately initiated the battle, fighting hard to get me at first, but her enthusiasm slowly dwindling.

There was one time when Sans just barely dodged one of her attacks because he was starting to get a bit tired, and I almost jumped into the fight to help him. But I didn't, because I told him that I wouldn't do anything stupid.

After a while, I could tell that the fight was coming to an end. And Undyne was mad that she couldn't beat Sans. She made one final assault on Sans, "JUST GIVE UP SANS!" She roared.

Sans dodged all of the attacks…. but one. One of her spears had caught him in the side, and almost all of his HP went down.

When Sans collapsed as the fight ended, I sprinted in and pulled him off to the side where Chara and Flowey were waiting.

Hot, salty tears started to make their way down my face. He only had 0.2 HP.

He tried pushing me away, "i'm fine sweetheart. just leave, before undyne gets you. i'll be fine."

I quickly shook my head. "No. You are not fine, and I am not leaving you!"

Sans looked at me, the pinpricks in his eye sockets already so faded. "frisk, you need to-"

I clenched his jacket in my fists, "NO. Don't. You. Dare tell me to leave again. I'll fight Undyne myself if I need to, but I am not leaving you. I already lost my Sans… he's in a whole different universe right now. I'm not gonna lose you too." I closed my eyes, and gently put my hands over the place he got hit. My hands suddenly felt warm and tingly, and I could see the soft glow of magic under my eyelids. I was healing him!

After about two minutes, I stopped because I could barely hold myself up. I opened my eyes, and saw that Sans was 100% healed.

I smiled as he just looked at me with a small frown on his face. That frown slowly turned to a smile though. "you're stubborn, you know that sweetheart?"

I nodded, and weakly said, "Yep, that's me. The stubborn, stubborn human. Now c'mon, we need to get going to see Asgore." I tried to get up, but ended up bent over, on one knee as I went into a coughing fit.

Sans immediately got up and came and put a hand on my back, helping me up when I was done. "careful, sweetheart, we don't want you straining yourself." I tried to wave him off when he suddenly threw me behind him once again. I didn't know what was happening until he spoke again. "i suggest you back up undyne, before you have a bad time."

Undyne was quiet as she spoke. "Here. Give this to her, it should help her HP get back up." She handed Sans something I couldn't see, and continued. "I don't know what you guys are trying to do, but…. be careful. I don't do this often, so don't expect me to do this every time you see me. I'm giving you a head start now, I'll go to Snowdin to report to Papyrus, and I'll say that you guys weren't seen anywhere. I'll try to lead him on a wild goose chase, while you guys do whatever you have planned. Now, go."

I could feel Sans pick me up bridal style, and hear him say thank you to Undyne. But my eyelids were heavy, and I had a feeling that I was going to visit home once again.

And I did.

This time when I opened my eyes, I was standing in the kitchen, with my back to the living room. I was scared to turn around at first, scared that it'd be as empty and lifeless as last time. But then I heard something I wasn't expecting. Something I didn't have in mind: laughter.

I spun around and saw everyone gathered in the living room, having fun. Everyone was there; Toriel, Asgore, Mettaton, Alphys, Undyne, Asriel, Chara, Papyrus, Sans, and Melody. Asriel, Chara, Papyrus, Sans and Melody were all laying in their own pillow fort with a bowl of popcorn, enjoying the movie that was playing on TV. Everyone else was either on the couch, or on the floor near the fort.

A small smile was tugging on my lips. I was happy -ecstatic, even- that everyone was so much better than last time, but…. I also felt an ache in my chest, because they seemed so happy…. without me. And not to mention, Melody wasn't just ten years old anymore…. she was probably around fourteen or fifteen.

So…. I just stood there. Watching them be happy, having fun. It hurt to see that they had moved on even though I was still here, fighting to get back to them, while they just ate popcorn and enjoyed movies. And I wanted to come back, I really did, but….. They've been up on the surface for around five years. They've made so much progress, they've made a life for themselves. And to take it all away, to take them all back to the start just seemed…. cruel.

I stood there for maybe fifteen more minutes, before finally giving in and squeezing in on the couch between Toriel and Asgore. And that's where I stayed for the rest of the night, laughing along with them at funny moments, crying at others. I stayed until everyone went to bed, and followed them all to give them a kiss on the cheek. Everyone had gone to bed, and everyone but Melody and Sans had gotten their kiss.

I went to Melody first. I quickly, but quietly opened her door and stepped in. And to my surprise, she was still up. First, I looked around the room, seeing how much her interests had changed since I was gone. Her walls were just a plain white color, but she had posters decorating one wall, pictures another, and paintings she had created on the last. She had some shelves filled with books, and CD's, and school work from past years. And she had a queen bed with light blue bedding, and stuffed animals covering the lower half of the bed.

Then, I took a good look at Melody. She had grown her hair out and kept it at hip level, and she had dyed it a vibrant red that framed her heart shaped face perfectly. Her light blue eyes still sparkled with joy, even though there was a sadness hidden in them, and she had a spoon/pear shaped body. Melody was such a beautiful young lady, and I was proud of her for becoming what I saw now.

Currently, Melody was looking at an old picture of me and her. In the picture, we were in the underground, getting ready for karaoke night at Sans and Papyrus'. We were standing in front of the door leading out of the Ruins, wearing our usual outfits of our striped sweaters and some jeans. She was sitting on my hip with her arms around my neck, and we both had some of the brightest smiles I had ever seen.

After a long moment of her staring at the photo, she began to speak. Her voice was a bit hoarse at first, like she hadn't talked in a while, but after clearing her throat, it was sweet and smooth, much like mine, but just a bit higher. "Frisk…. I don't talk often, I took up sign language soon after your….. soon after you left us. But I just wanted to talk with you. I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm hoping you can so I don't seem like a complete idiot right now." I giggled a little at that, but things got a little bit serious. "I've had a hard time letting you go. Everyone close to us knows it. I blamed myself for a long time after the incident. I realize now that there was nothing I could've done, but…. I still blamed myself for a long time. Lately though, it's gotten harder than usual. It seems like everyone else has moved on so easily, but there's just something I can't let go about this. And…." I started to tear up as her voice broke. "And I know you'd hate seeing me like this, but I just need a sign. Do something -anything- to let me know that I can move on, give me a sign, please….. I need to know that you're okay wherever you are…."

Tears streamed down my face as I watched her bury her face into her hands and cry. So I carefully moved across her room, and went to the radio. I turned it on, and watched as she jumped up, only to realize nothing was there. I went through the stations, until I found the song I was looking for. Scars to Your Beautiful. I was going to take my hand off of the radio and go give Melody a hug, but for some reason, something told me to stay where I was and keep my hand on the radio.

And when I started to sing, I was shocked to hear my voice coming out of the radio. "But there's hope waiting for you in the dark, you should know you're beautiful just the way you are. And you don't have to change a thing, the world could change it's heart. No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful. Oh-oh, oh-oh. And you don't have to change a thing, the world could change it's heart. No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful…"

Melody stood there, in shock. But after a brief moment, she smiled as her hands flew to her mouth and tears started to well up in her eyes once again. Her voice was a mere whisper, but I heard her loud and clear. "… Frisk…?"

I smiled as my voice came out from the radio, "Yeah Mel, it's me, in the flesh- err, well, forget about that. I'm here though, even if it's momentarily."

She started to laugh as she cried, "Oh my bajeebus, you're really here." She drew in a big, shaky breathe, "I've wanted to hear your voice again for so long, even if you were just to say 'hi' I would've been so happy…. Where have you been? I heard Sans say something years ago about you being in like, an alternate universe or something, and that you'd come back someday, but after a year or so, he just… gave up. He, he was right!" She laughed and wiped her tears away, "I've wanted to talk with you for so long now…. can we? Talk, I mean."

A soft smile made it's way onto my face, "Of course we can talk…. Now, where should we start?"

And so, we sat there and talked. We talked about school, family, the other universe, girl problems, boy problems too. We talked about any and everything.

Right now, the topic was guys, and boy, could this girl go on about this one guy. "Kody is just so….. amazing! He has… well, how do I describe his hair? I guess it's like, a younger Justin Bieber's hairstyle, but better and prettier. And his eyes are just this beautiful hazel mixture, and they always light up when he talks about something he loves. Oh, and I can't forget his personality! He always tries to make everyone happy and smile, he's the jokester of the group. And he's so kind and caring, he loves with all of his heart. But if any of his friends gets hurt, especially me, he'll be ready to murder someone in a moment. And he always seems to know when something's wrong, and he won't leave you alone until you feel better."

She paused for a moment. "But…. he's also a bit broken, Frisk. Even though his eyes light up when he's talking about something he loves, they can hide an incredible sadness. And even though he makes jokes all the time to make other people feel better, I think he's doing it because he knows what it's like to feel like that, and he doesn't want anyone going through that….. I guess he's a lot like me in some ways. And I guess that's why we're best friends. We understand each other a lot more than we expected, and we've only gotten closer since we've started hanging out more. We have these sort of confession times, and we'll just spill our hearts out to each other and help one another….. But he's hiding something from me. I don't know what it is, and I'm honestly a bit scared to find out, but he's hiding something and it's really troubling him. And he won't tell me! How am I supposed to help him when he won't let me in?"

I cleared my throat, "Well, maybe it's something he doesn't want you finding out."

She threw her hands up into the air and fell onto her bed. "What could possibly be so bad, that he doesn't want me, me of all people, finding out. It seems like everyone else knows, but they won't tell me!"

That's when I realized what he could be hiding, and a knowing smile worked it's way onto my lips. "Melody?"

Her face was buried into her pillow, so her voice was muffled. "Yeah, Frisk."

"Have you ever thought, oh, well, I don't know…."

She jumped up and had a questioning look on her face. "What? What do you think it is? Tell me, I'm desperate!"

"Well, have you ever thought that, maybe he…. likes you back?" Realization dawned on her face, but then confusion.

"B-but, that can't be possible."

"And why not?"

"Because he's gay!….. I think."

"Well, maybe he's gay, but there could be the possibility of him being bisexual. Sometimes you kids know what you want/are at a young age, sometimes you think you know what you are/want, but you could be wrong. Being your age is a very confusing period of your life." Oh god, I sound old.

Melody fell back onto her bed, "Ugh, why is this so difficult and confusing?!"

I laughed, "Because you're young!"

She rolled her eyes and rolled onto her back, "Whatever. Anyways, you're turn Frisk! Tell me all about whatever guy you like, and do not leave any details out."

I felt a blush creep up onto my face, "Well, I guess I had a thing for Sans when I was here."

A smirk made it's way onto Melody's face. "Had, or have?"

This time it was my turn to roll my eyes, "Shush up. There's not much to tell on that subject though, it was much like your relationship with Kody, except we did get into arguments."

Melody yawned, so she must be pretty sleepy. "Arguments about what?"

A small frown replaced the smile that had been there. "About things we didn't tell each other. We kept secrets, Melody. And because of the incident, I didn't get to tell him what I had wanted to tell him for a long time."

Melody was wide awake for a few more moments while I talked. "… And what didn't you tell him?"

I smiled as a single tear made its way down my cheek, "That I loved him… So don't wait too long to tell your Kody how you feel. I know you're scared of ruining your friendship, but I think you should take a chance on this one."

She smiled a small smile. "Okay, Frisk. I'm gonna hit the hay, and I was wondering if you could lay with me for a while."

"Okay. You probably won't be able to hear me after I let go of the radio, but I'll still be here." She nodded in response, and I went to lay by her.

When I knew Melody was completely asleep, I headed downstairs to Sans' room.

I hesitated in front of his door, contemplating whether I really should go in or not. And after 20 minutes of standing there…. I left.

I went out the front door, and I started walking to the only place I knew no one but one person would be at, at this time of night.

Grillby's.

I walked in, the bell rung signaling a customer, Grillby turned around confused, and then seemed to pale when he saw me.

I smiled a small smile, and waved. "Heya Grillbs, guess you weren't expecting me to walk in at this hour… Can we talk?"

Grillby nodded and motioned for me to sit in Sans' usual spot, while he went to get me a beverage.

I sat there for a moment, before he came back with a chocolate milkshake with extra whipped cream. He set it in front of me before motioning for me to continue.

I took a deep breath, "I'm still dead in this universe, I'm just a ghost right now, so….." My voice began to break, "I don't know what to do, Grillby…. I've been trying to find a way to get back here, but it's only been days in the universe I'm alive in right now. It's been years here! If I come back, I could end up taking everyone's progress, everything they've worked so hard for, all the way back to zero. I might take it back to the day we made it to the surface. And everyone seems to have gotten over my death, and they all seem happy… Just… what do I do…?"

Grillby was silent as he took this in, and his voice was soft and soothing as he spoke. "Have you talked to Sans yet? Ask him what he thinks, and maybe he could help you decide."

Tears streamed down my face, and I found that I could, indeed, take a sip of the milkshake. "I can't. He'll want me to come back, his emotions will cloud what would be best for you guys. And from what Melody told me, he gave up on me years ago."

Grillby's voice rose a little, almost like he was angry. "Frisk, everyone wants you back, we don't care if we have to start all over! You are what's best for us, and never think otherwise. And as for Sans…. He still hopes you'll come back someday, he hasn't given up, he's just taken a break. He's helped everyone get over your death, now he's just trying to get over it himself."

I nodded and rubbed my eyes, "Okay, I guess you're right….. One question though. Do you know about the... resets?"

He nodded. "I'm one of the few that remember. In fact, that's one of the main reasons Sans came here a lot in the underground, he needed someone to talk to about the resets." We were quiet for a few moments. "Now, I have a question for you."

"Go ahead, Grillbs."

"… The buttercups, and your wounds….. what's happening in the… other universe?"

I looked down and fiddled with my fingers, while Grillby came over to sit by me, taking my hands in his. I took a deep breath, and looked into his eyes. "Don't you ever tell Sans this, okay?" He hesitated, but nodded. "The buttercups are from…. all of the times I died. A new one appears each time I die, and it hurts like hell when I try to pull one off….. I haven't mentioned it to anyone else in the other universe, but they also make the affected areas numb, and…. I'm scared that they'll start to grow over my eyes and affect my vision… Everyone's the exact opposite over there. They're cruel, and they kill each other…. but I've gotten to some of them, I've made some of them kinder and more caring.."

Grillby pulled me into a hug for a little while before letting go. "But Frisk, why did you tell me not to tell Sans?"

I sighed, "Well…. it's because he'll ask me about who killed me, and some of the deaths are because….. the Sans over there didn't step in and help. And I'm not sure if he'll blame himself or not."

"I see…"

We sat in silence once more, before I got up to leave. "I wish I could stay for a while longer, but I have to go, Grillby."

He nodded and got up with me, pulling me into a hug. "My door is always open if you need to stop by, Frisk."

I nodded and pulled away, waving as I walked out of the door. "Goodbye Grillby, I'll see you later."

When I opened my eyes once again, I was in the other Sans' arms. Sans, was leaning with his back against the lab, sleeping almost peacefully, as he still held me close to him. I smiled, knowing for sure that no matter how he may appear, any Sans in any universe, is still my Sans.

I just lay there for a while, not wanting to wake him up if he was sleeping so peacefully, and admired him. But, as we know, things don't always go according to plan. I ended up waking him up when I went into a really bad coughing fit.

Sans jolted awake, concern washing over his features as he sat me up and rubbed my back, trying to make me feel better. When I could finally breathe again, he spoke. "hey there sweetheart, you okay? wait, dumb question, of course you're not okay. is there anything i can do to help ya?"

I nodded and took a breathe, "Yeah, you could help me up to my feet. We need to get going if we plan on making it to Asgore before Papyrus finds us."

I held my hand out for Sans while I smoothed out my shirt. "no."

I snapped my head up to look at him, "No? Sans, come on, we can't mess around anymore. You heard what Undyne said, we need to get going before they catch up with us. So please, help me up."

Sans just stood there, arms crossed, looking down at me with sad eyes. "i said no, sweetheart. you can't go on any longer, we need to stop, before you die. permanently."

I just stared at Sans in disbelief, hoping that this was all just a bad dream. "Sans, please, I'm begging-"

Sans started to walk inside the lab, probably heading to Alphys. "no. i'm gonna get the doc, she's gonna fix you up, and then we're going home." Tears of anger welled up into my eyes. "i'll be a second, so flowey, it's your job to keep an eye on her."

Flowey nodded in response, and only withered a tiny bit when I glared at him. Even Chara seemed to be on board with Sans.

"You guys, seriously, we need to get going. We only have so much time to get to Asgore." I looked at them both, and they both shook their head, not wanting to hear another word that came out of my mouth. I looked down at my fingers, with tears in my eyes. "Well, then I guess-" In that instant, I slumped forward, pretending to go unconscious.

I could hear Flowey's panicked voice as he tried to figure out what's wrong. "Chara, what's going on? How do we help her?!"

Chara's voice seemed more panicked than Flowey's, "I don't know Azzy, I don't know! We need to get Sans and Alphys quick, before she... before something happens that we don't want happening!" After that, Flowey seemed to pop into the ground, and Chara seemed to just disappear.

After a few seconds, I managed to get up, and ran as fast as I could manage over to the side of the lab. There was a ledge there, wide enough for me to be able to hug the wall, and make my way to the other side. As I disappeared around the corner, I heard Sans and Alphys come out of the lab. Sans was beyond panicked when he couldn't find me, but it... he made it so I had no other choice.

I'd have to go it alone from here on out.

Yes, I am alive. Yes, this chapter is real and I've actually posted it! And yes, I know that it's been months since the last update... Sorry.

But eyyy, new chapter, the story isn't dead yet, this is great!

But for now, as always: Thank you so much for reading, and yes, I will try to post as soon as I can!

Until next time~