A/N: I'm back guys :) I didn't intend to take so long to post this chapter, but I appreciate the patience of my faithful readers. Shout out to my beta, Ravenshell. :) Enjoy the next chapter!

Chapter 23

Waiting for my brothers under the rendezvous water tower, I pull off my mask and wring out the excess water. I can barely see the next rooftop in this downpour. The wind whistles causing the rain to fall at fierce angle. Water is already puddling underneath the water tower. It has to be at least 3 inches of rain out there by now. Donnie would know for sure and would even be able to predict the average rise in water in the sewers per hour. Retying my mask, my body aches with a sudden chill that isn't from the cold. I sigh as I fold my arms over my chest. We've been searching for hours and still haven't found Donatello. Neither Raph nor Mikey have called me, which only triples my worry. The rooftops are dangerous and slippery in bad storms like this. I hope they are being careful.

"Donnie, where are you?" I whisper into the angry storm around me.

"Your brother has not been himself lately, refusing to speak to anyone, and when he tries to open up to you, you do not allow it…"

I feel sick as guilt twists barbed-wire knots in my stomach. How many times had I simply ignored Donnie's strange behavior over the past few months? I didn't even try to offer a listening ear, only belittlement of his lack of training and constant questioning about the retro-mutagen progress. Even after our disastrous mission, I simply cut him down like a drill sergeant laying into a subordinate instead of hearing him out as my brother.

I frown as I stretch my tired mind back to that moment on the rooftop. Donnie kept talking about important files he had to get from the Kraang. What kind of files? ...Did they have anything to do with why he's been acting so strangely? If I would have just listened, we wouldn't be in this mess now. We would all be home, helping Donnie through whatever issues he's been dealing with all these months.

Before I can further chastise myself, I hear the heavy and familiar splashes of my brother's footsteps. Raph swears at the weather as he joins me under the tower, shaking off the extra rain.

"He would wait until the worst storm ever to run away," Raph grumbles as he cracks his neck from side to side. His cantankerous complaining is a sign of just how worried he is.

Mikey runs under the tower shortly after him. Arms wrapped around him, he frowns as he looks out into the distance. He has the same dazed look on his face that he had right before we left the sewers. I know he's worried, but he's been acting weird... not his usual weird though. He hasn't said a single word since we came topside. No jokes or quirky comments, just this pensive silence. Even on our worst day, I can count on Mikey to lighten the mood with his sunny disposition, but not today. Today, Mikey's behaviour is more in line with the somber weather around us.

The storm is making it difficult to see more than 20 feet ahead. I turn to my brothers. Both of them are shivering from the cold, Mikey more so than Raph.

Dawn is finally breaking through some of the darker clouds ahead. It's been a long twenty-four hours. I never thought a failed recon mission would spiral into searching for a distraught brother in the middle of a storm. My brothers' eyes are laden with exhaustion as they periodically shift and move side to side in an effort to keep warm. Neither of them should be out here right now. This is my fault. Donatello is my responsibility. I've already failed one brother and I refuse to allow my other two brothers to endanger themselves with pneumonia and lack of sleep—both a recipe for disaster in this nasty weather. Another involuntary shiver from Mikey is enough for me to make my decision.

"Raphael, take Michelangelo home. I'll catch up."

"I ain't going back to the lair without Donnie, Leo." I sigh; I don't have the energy to argue. Why can't he for once in his life just follow an order?

"It's too cold for you and Mikey to be out here. You're no help to Donnie if you catch pneumonia, now go." My tone leaves no room for argument, but over the years my brother has developed a type of tone-deafness to the obvious warning in my voice.

"Oh, so it's okay for you to get pneumonia? ...Huh, that's some seriously jacked up logic you got there, Fearless."

"I don't have time for one of your tantrums, Raph, just do what I told you to do!" The volume of my voice rises in a way that only Raph can cause. As expected, he immediately starts cursing me, making me wonder if his foul mouth will attract a bolt of lightning. Sensing movement in my peripheral vision, I turn away from Raph's ranting to see Mikey is no longer under the shelter of the water tower, but standing absently in the downpour. His shell is facing us as he takes another step into the rain.

"Mikey, get out of the rain!" I shout, causing Raph to also turn toward our youngest brother. Now, he wants to goof off? ...Before I can inhale and release a more demanding order, Mikey takes off running. My hand loudly palms my forehead before I drag it irritably down my face. I turn to Raph. "Come on, we'd better follow him." He mutters something about avocados and Mikey's brain before we chase after him into the storm.

I squint through the rain as my feet slip, barely making the jump to the adjacent rooftop. I stumble forward before regaining my flow and running to the next roof. We've searched everywhere and still no Donnie. I couldn't see or feel his aura anywhere… until a few minutes ago. Under the water tower, I felt this vibe like a supersonic radio wave pulsing through my body. I had to follow it, because it felt like Donnie, but it felt wrong... like it was Donnie, but at the same time it wasn't.

Even as I run across the rooftops, I can feel the pulses getting stronger and stronger, just like in the sewers before we came topside. I felt terrible for ignoring the nagging feeling in the sewers and I haven't felt right about it since. So, when that dark sensation tickled my senses again, I couldn't ignore it. Call me crazy, but I gotta follow my feels. I really hope it's Donnie, but at the same time, I'm scared that it is him.

I skid to a stop on the next rooftop. The rain's finally letting up, easing into a medium shower. The presence is practically vibrating through me like a dryer on heavy duty. Whatever this feeling is, it's definitely close.

My veins tingle like needles and pins as something pulls at my aura like an invisible rope…. Donnie... it feels like Donnie, but something's really wrong...

I yelp as the cuff of my shell is yanked back and I'm spun around to face a very irritated brother.

"You better have a darn good reason for makin' us chase you in a freakin' thunderstorm, you bonehead! We've already got Don to look for, what're you thinkin'?!"

Heart racing, I shove Raph away as I look around the rooftop, positive I will find him. He has to be here. I swallow back a hard lump in my throat when there's only me, Leo, and Raph on the roof. My two older brothers share a concerned look as they look back at me "...But I thought... I thought..."

"Mikey..." The way Leo says my name like he's soothing a kid who just found out Santa Claus isn't real makes me cringe with contempt. I shrug his hand from my shoulder.

No matter who doubts you, trust the things your spiritual sight shows you and believe the things you feel are true in your soul.

Sensei's words give me the courage to stand up to them. "No!" I stand firm looking between my brothers daring them to try and belittle what I know. "Donnie's here!" I frown, determined to make them believe me.

"Do you see Donnie up here?" This time it's Raph who speaks but his usual sarcastic bite is dampened by a tired yawn of doubt.

"No, but... but..."

"Mikey, it was raining pretty hard a few minutes ago and it's been over twenty-four hours since you've slept. You probably just thought you saw—"

"I didn't see him, I felt him." I rub at my eyes as desperate tears roll down my cheeks and mix with the now drizzling pace of the rain. "Leo, please... you gotta believe me." I keep staring into his humble eyes until he finally looks away with a long-winded sigh.

The rain has tapered off to a light drizzle, but it doesn't hide the tears of frustration on Michelangelo's face. He thinks I'm pacifying him and it's taking everything within me not to, but when he stares at me with those huge doe-eyes it makes me want to protect him all the more. But I fight the urge to baby him. For all his innocence, Mikey has an uncanny way of knowing things that elude the rest of us. It's not even a ninja awareness, just a natural sensitivity to unnatural things. Back at the lair with Sensei, I promised myself I would listen to Mikey more and I plan to keep that promise. Donnie's life may depend on it.

"I believe you, Mikey, but you have to help me out, little brother. Help me see what you see." I place my hands on his shoulders hoping to encourage him, but I can see his confidence falter into panic.

"I… I don't how to show you, Leo! ...I just know he's here! We have to find him, 'cause he needs us and—"

"Mikey, breathe!" My command is a little sharper than I intended, but it makes him stop mid-sentence and exhale the breath he was rapidly inhaling during his panicked sppech. "Close your eyes and breathe." Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath before letting out an impatient puff. "We'll find Donatello, but I need you to focus." Eyes still closed, he gives me a determined nod. I give his shoulders a reassuring squeeze. "Good. Now, you said you felt Donnie…. what do you feel now?"

"His aura…. something's blocking his aura. Something has him… it's so dark… I can't…" His eyes squeeze shut and he shudders. Whatever my youngest brother is sensing on the spiritual plane is starting to make him panic again.

"It's okay, Mikey. You can do this, I'm right here." I keep my voice low and calm as I hold tightly to his shoulders.

I can't help but feel a small sense of pride as his stance straightens under my touch and the countenance of fear is replaced with concentration. "He's here, but he's hurting."

"Where, Mikey? Where is here?"

A hard line of focus creases his brow as he holds his arms out at his sides. His wrists turn slowly as raindrops drizzle into the palms of his hands. Then he turns his hands palm down wiggling his fingers as if he's feeling each raindrop. He turns his head as he opens his eyes in the direction that his right hand is pointing. "He's there, I can feel his aura but just barely." I look to where he's pointing.

"Mike, that's the edge of the building. There's nothing there." Raph says with an exaggerated grumble. I rush to the side of the building, looking down at the streets below.

I sigh with relief when I don't see a bloody mess of my brother on the pavement. With the way things have been rapidly going downhill, I could only assume the worst.

"Hey, Leo…" The uncertainty in Raph's voice makes me look back to him with concern. I follow his line of vision to the next building, which is slightly lower than the one we are on. There's a figure slumped to the floor of the roof. Its back is toward us making it easy to see the shape of a shell….

"Raph, wait!" I shout, but I'm too late. He's already bounding to the next building.

Your brother is hurt both physically and emotionally. You must approach him with caution; his mind is not stable.

Remembering Sensei's words, I know my brother, and Raphael is definitely not the ideal person to approach Donnie right now. With Mikey at my side, we both follow our hasty brother as he leaps down to the next building. He doesn't waste time as he approaches our brother's still form from behind.

"Donnie! ...What the shell, man?" I call after my loud brother again, but he just ignores me. "We've been searchin' the whole freakin' city for ya and…" Raph's words become lost as he stops a few feet behind where Donnie is slumped forward on his knees. He doesn't say anything, he just stands there like a statute. Mikey and I stand at either side of him. One look at Raph's wide eyes and his bobbing Adam's apple, and I know he's afraid.

Donnie's drooping form is still…. too still.

I extend my hand in front of both him and Mikey, motioning for them to stay put as I slowly take the remaining steps to our brother.

He stole a bottle of Pentobarbital…. It's a drug the clinic uses to put animals to sleep… permanently.

April's voice rings warning bells in my mind as I come to terms with the fact I could be approaching my brother with a syringe dangling from his arm. I take deep, slow breaths to calm the fear and panic in my chest. No, it can't end this way… not with so many unanswered questions and confusion still lingering over our family. The wind blows another chilling burst of air in our direction; Donnie's body twitches. I suck my lip in, biting back the overwhelming relief. He's alive…. he hasn't made another effort to move, but dear God, he's alive! Mikey said something had Donnie, so I do a quick scan of the rooftop as I approach him to make sure my brother isn't being used to bait us into a trap, but I don't sense anyone nearby. Still being cautious, my steps are quiet, yet loud enough not to startle Donnie as I come around him from behind.

My heart clenches with worry at the sight of my brother. There's a lump and gash just above his right temple. He's sitting in a puddle tinged with pink…. it's blood. There's dried blood on his plastron that the rain didn't wash away in his hunched-over state. "Donnie, are you hurt?" I ask gently as I kneel in front of him. His downcast eyes continue to stare unseeingly at the ground. Even as I wipe at the dried blood on his form, he makes no movement to even acknowledge my presence. I don't notice any other wounds, just dried blood and grime. "Donnie," I try again, this time giving his slender shoulder a small shake. I tilt my head to try and level myself to his line of vision, but his haunting gaze stares right through me. "Donatello, come on, little brother." Pleading softly, I cup his chin in my hand. I lift his face until we are eye to eye, silently begging him to say something… anything to let me know he's okay.

Everything is blurry, muted, and in dreary scales of gray. I don't have a desire to leave this current state, but someone keeps calling my name and touching my face. I blink lazily as the shadowy grays swirl into muddy colors of green and blue. The familiar voice continues to beckon me out of the haze blanketing my mind like heavy wool.

"Leo?..." My brain finally recognizes the gentle tone of my oldest brother. My voice sounds small and strange to my own ears, but it makes Leo smile for a moment. Wait, Leo's here?...

"Yeah, Donnie, it's me... are you hurt?"

"I… I don't think so." I feel numb all over as I watch him fumble over my body. I think I should feel something...anything but I feel so detached and empty.

"What happened?" It's a simple question, but my brain is too muddled to think of an answer. My body convulses harshly as a chill aches across my skin. "You're freezing…. have you been in the rain this whole time?" There's a firmness in his voice, but he doesn't sound angry… just worried. What does he mean this whole time? Was I supposed to be somewhere else? "Donnie, you still with me?"

"…..I think so."

There's a loud voice behind me making my head hurt, but Leo quickly hushes it. "I think he hit his head pretty hard; he might have a concussion."

As the fog starts to lift from my mind, something feels off. Small tremors lace my body, but I don't think it's from the cold. There's a nervous sense of danger resounding within me that I don't understand. Yet, somehow I feel the need to acknowledge this impending anxiety. Before I can figure out this eerie feeling, vertigo hits me as my position suddenly shifts from sitting to standing within seconds. I feel myself swaying but Leo keeps a firm grip on my shell. Looking down at my brother, I frown. He seems to sense my confusion as he holds me close to his side. "Everything's going to be okay. Let's get you back to the Lair to get that head wound stitched up."

Needing tangible understanding, I reach up to touch my temple and immediately hiss at the throbbing pain it causes.

Something…. something hit me. A flash of a metal pole jars my memory…. he hit me with a pole and it hurt. I grunt and collapse under the intensity of the painful remembrance as other mental images come flashing behind my eyes causing Leo to stumble with me from the sudden shift in my balance. Pictures filled with carnage and bloodlust flood my mind, awakening sensations I fight to forget. I remember the coppery taste of innards, the smell of fear, the sound of his screams as he fought against me, fought against my teeth as they ripped into his bowels. These sights, smell, and feelings… urge me to surrender myself to them as something more primal courses through my mind, quickening my heart rate. Something grips and shakes me, and it triggers a need of self-preservation. I turn on the offending touch slamming it to the ground, baring teeth ready to give a warning bite.

"DONNIE, STOP!"

I hear shouting but it sounds muffled like I'm underwater. The noise becomes more demanding more clear….. I know this sound. I force myself to break free from the watery submersion of my mind. As my blurry senses begin to clear, I stare into the eyes of my eldest brother. My hand is wrapped around his katana strap, grinding him into the ground. My mouth is gaped open awkwardly, jaw unhinged as I stare into the fearful eyes of my brother. I gasp as I shamefully snap my jaws together. My own fear grips me as I fumble off of him, landing on my behind as I back away.

"Donnie, please just—"

"You shouldn't have come," I cut off whatever plea Leo has on the tip of his tongue, pushing myself away from him.

"Just calm down, Donnie, everything's going to be okay." Leo slowly rises to his feet as he reaches out to me.

I shake my head fiercely, scrambling to my shaky feet. "No, please just… just stay back, okay?" My voice wobbles as I continue to back away.

Why do you deny me? Why do you fight what is natural for you?

"You tricked me!" I sneer over my shoulder.

I did nothing of the sort.

"You said you would help me forget…. But you… you made me hurt my brother!"

You acted on your own accord.

"No! That's not true! I didn't—"

"Donnie? ...Who are you talking to?" Leo takes a step toward me making me stumble backward in my haste.

"I… I can't be here… I'm sorry, I can't….. It'll kill you if I'm here!"

"What do you mean? Was someone chasing you?" Leo reaches out to me again. "No one's going to—"

"NO, STAY BACK!" I scream, clutching the sides of my pounding head. "Don't come any closer."

"Take it easy, Brainiac." Frantically, I turn around at the sound of Raph's voice and realize he, Mikey, and Leo have me surrounded. My heart races as they close in on me. I can feel adrenaline pumping through my veins, pounding viciously as a growl rumbles past my snarling lips. My shell hits the front of a maintenance supply room. They have me cornered. My panic heightens. Instinctually, I position myself in a defensive crouch, afraid of what they will do to me.

Kill them… before they kill you.

My eyes widen in horror and the aggression melts away at the choice words of this beast within me. With sudden clarity, I realize I am more fearful of what I will do to them. A gardening hoe is within reach, so I snatch it from the side of the fixture behind me, twirling the familiar-shaped weapon from one hand to the other.

"No, keep away from me!" I shout, swinging the metal end of the hoe in three quick arches. The swiping motion effectively keeps them at bay as I back away from them through the broken doorway of the abandoned maintenance room. My tired arms shake as I hold the tool in front of me protecting them from my violent urges. Unfortunately, they won't leave, as they slowly inch their way into the room with me. I swing the hoe again for good measure. "I said STAY BACK!" With wide eyes they all dodge my swing, holding up placating hands as they keep their distance. Good. They just need to stay there so I can get out of—

I gasp as my shell bumps into the corner of the room. Looking between my brothers, I realize I have no way out. They obviously realize this too as they slowly approach me like a wounded animal.

Finally acknowledging yourself for what you are…. an animal. A beast. A monster. It laughs at me, taunting me in my current ironic predicament.

"No, no, no, stop it…. STOP IT!"

The moment he single-handedly pinned me to the ground, I knew there was something very wrong with Donatello. His unhinged jaw were inches away from my face; it's so unnatural, like something straight out of one of Mikey's horror flicks. His eyes were so wild and dangerous I feared my cries for him to stop would go unheeded, but when my words finally get through to him something resembling my brother surfaces in his countenance. Within seconds he's backpedaling away from me, begging us to stay away. I learned firsthand the dangerousness of getting too close, but it doesn't deter me from reaching out to my unstable brother. I watch dreadfully as something akin to insanity grips Donnie. He starts talking to himself and swinging a garden hoe at us. Raph and Mikey follow my lead as we slowly approach him. I try to calmly talk him down from his crazed state, but I can't tell whether he's talking to me or whatever unseen inner turmoil he's battling. I lean away just in time to narrowly miss having a hoe crack against my neck.

"Donnie, please, just calm down." He becomes even more frantic when he realizes he's blocked himself into a corner. Mikey inches his way closer to Donnie, but I give him a stern look to stay put, not wanting to spook Donatello any more than he already is.

"No, no, no, stop it... STOP IT!" As he turns the hoe upward, I realize too late that he plans to ram the metal end against his temple. The metal connects with his head causing his injury to bleed anew.

Before I can react, my youngest brother ducks under my arm, swiftly lunging for Donnie. He skillfully grips Donnie's hands between his, stopping him from further self-harm. My eyes go wide at Mikey's closeness to our unhinged brother. Donnie's clearly not in the right frame of mind… what if he hurts Mikey?

I rush forward only for Mikey to shake his head sharply. I give Mikey a stern look, but the look that he gives me in return makes me halt any further commandment. His eyes shine with a sudden determination and despite my uncertainty, I know I have to trust that my little brother has a plan.

With impatient fists clenched at my sides, I watch as Donnie struggles against our youngest brother, trying to maneuver the hoe to inflict further pain upon himself.

"DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!" Mikey yells as he yanks the hoe away from Donnie's temple. It's obvious Donatello could have easily overpowered Mikey, but those four words give him pause.

"Leo, what the shell?" I turn to Raph. His emerald eyes burn with action, ready to jump in, tackle Donnie, and drag him home, but I motion for him to be quiet as I nod to our youngest brother. Whatever Mikey is planning seems to be working because Donnie's struggling jerks to a sudden stop.

"Wh-what did you say?" He stares at Mikey with wide eyes.

"I said, don't listen to him." Mikey keeps a firm grip on Donnie's arm, insuring he doesn't continue to beat himself senseless with the hoe. "D, you can't listen to that creep in there." Mikey points to his temple never breaking eye contact with him. "You're not a monster."

"Y-you can hear him, too?" His voice is just above a whisper but the hopefulness there is heartbreaking.

Mikey nods with a sad smile. Donnie's trembling so badly its making Mikey's arms shake. "Yeah, bro... every word. Does he always talk so much?" His voice strains as he attempts to lighten the mood.

"Never stops." His response walks the thin line between dark humor and slipping sanity as he snorts bitterly, his eye twitching every few minutes.

"Well, that sucks," Mikey says so calmly, you would think he was having a casual conversation with Donnie at the kitchen table over warm beverages, instead of in a cold, dingy supply room trying to coax him to come home with us. Mikey's eyes glance up and to the side for a moment as if listening to something too keen for my ears to hear.

"And for the record, I'm pretty sure I don't taste like a cinnamon roll... maybe a crème puff..." I think Mikey's last weird comment was meant to be a joke, but it falls short as Donnie's face pales and crumbles into further anguish. "Sorry! ...Sorry, bad joke." Apologetically, Mikey presses his hands against Donnie's plastron as if trying to physically calm its rapid rise and fall. Donnie breathes in a shuddering sob. My chest tightens with worry as I watch the painful interaction between my two youngest brothers. "Donnie? ...You still with me, bro?"

"I won't hurt them, so... so JUST STOP!" Don's voice is wet with emotion as the hoe slips from his hand, clattering to the floor. He whimpers as he slides down the wall, sinking to the dirty floor like a rock to the ocean's bottom. Mikey clumsily tumbles down beside him. Donnie's face is hidden behind his drawn knees as his breath hitches. Raph and I instantly rush forward but stop short when Mikey waves us back as he sits on his knees in front of our fallen brother. "Just go away..." Donnie whines as he presses the heels of his hands into his temples. It's hard to tell if he's talking to us or the unseen presence that only he and Mikey can hear.

"Sorry, bro, we're not going anywhere unless you're coming with us." Mikey's voice is gentle as he places a hand on Donnie's knee. He shrinks away from Mikey's touch like it's acid. Unable to push himself any farther into the corner, he settles for sinking his neck further into his shell instead.

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I'll hurt you... you shouldn't be here... I'll hurt you... all of you."

"No, you won't. It's cool, D. Are you worried about Raph? ...'Cause he's totally fine now. It's all good, bruh."

The fear and panic is evident in his face as Donnie looks at Mikey and vehemently shakes his head as his voice catches in his throat and his sentences become a string of confusing words. "No, it's not! Nothing is good, everything is wrong in me!" He screams slamming his hands against his plastron as if to beat this 'wrongness' out of him. His voice eerily tapers off into a whisper again, "I did something horrible, Mikey... Sp-Splinter tried to help, but I almost hurt him... I did something horrible... there was so much blood... so much... it was my fault... I couldn't stop it..." He thumps his temple with his finger. "….I couldn't stop it..." he gags and coughs bitterly. "...God, I can still taste it..."

"Taste what, D?"

"His blood..." Those two words steal what little warmth there is in this run-down room leaving a daunting chill in its place.

"He... he... he tried to scream but he couldn't because I..." My eyes glisten with collective moisture at the haunted look in Donnie's face as he chokes on his own words "...It's my fault... he's dead... and it's my fault."

"Leo..." Raph growls under his breath moving closer to me, the tinge in his voice sounding more terrified than angry. Donnie's eerie confession isn't the only thing taking us by surprise. My lips part in shock. I stare with a mixture of concern and amazement as Donnie's skin changes colors before my eyes.

"What?..." I try to follow this nightmarish story filled with blood and gore that's got D all messed up in the head. Donnie's really upset and I can barely make sense of what he's saying between his wheezing sobs. His aura is weak and dull, and spiraling into a really dark place. I'm losing him, I can feel it.

Wait... where did he go? I stare at the corner Donnie was huddled in just moments ago. I can still hear him crying and I can still see his aura, but physically it's like his body just—Poof... Disappeared!

Okay, okay, now I'm really freakin' out! Not only is Donnie's aura disappearing, but he's disappearing... Man, I'm freaking out!

I blink a few times as my vision starts to refocus. My eyes have gotta be playing tricks on me...

Donnie's still there, right in front of me, but then…..he kinda isn't. It's like staring at those 3D puzzles to make a hidden picture pop out, except, well, Donnie is the hidden picture. He's totally blended with the grimy grey wall behind him.

When he suddenly twitches, that's when I can see part of his head. The top of his head briefly changes back to its normal olive green color. His face is buried against his knees and his arms wrapped around them from what I can tell before he starts to fade into the background again.

"Whoa, come on, stay with me, dude!" I instantly grab the sides of his head with my hands forcing him to look up. "Come on, bro, stay with me... look at me." His camouflaged eyelids roll back to reveal panicked brown eyes beneath. I don't know if he realizes he's doing a disappearing act on me, but I know I have to keep him calm. "That's it, D, just focus on me, okay? Take slow, deep breaths, like this." I take exaggerated breaths until Donnie's breathing sounds more normal and less wheezy. "There, that's it, you're okay." Leaning back against the wall, he's breathing a lot smoother than when he was hunched over and hugging his knees. Shivering again, he wraps his arms around his middle. The greyish pigments of his skin make him look really sick as his skin color changes again, getting stuck somewhere between olive green and gross grey, but at least he's not freaking out anymore.

Why do you pretend to be more than the savage beast that you are? You don't belong with them anymore, not after what you've done... and well, let's be honest... you never belonged. You are nothing more than sewer sludge to them. But let's see how pathetic they think you are when you crack open their shells like walnuts and peel away their—

The stuff that thing is saying in Donnie's aura is totally dark and twisted, but what's even more scary is the look of defeat on my brother's face. "Donnie, no! You can't believe anything that thing tells you... You're smarter than that, bro." My voice wavers with the deepest form of empathy I can express, and it's just enough to pull my brother away from those hideous thoughts and stare thoughtfully at me. "You'll always belong with us, no matter what."

"No, Mikey, I don't... I don't belong anywhere." Something deep in the pit of my stomach coils into bitter knots at my brother's brokenness. That can't be what he thinks... he can't seriously think we don't want him home.

"Whatever happened when you left doesn't matter, D. We just want you home."

Donnie's hysterics start to dwindle leaving nothing but fumes of exhaustion as his bloodshot, heavy-lidded eyes focus on me. "But you don't understand... You don't know what I've done…. what I'll do to you."

"It doesn't matter, I still trust you with my life, Donnie, no matter what." I mean it... every word. We're brothers; trust just comes with the territory. Donnie stares at me in disbelief, but I can feel shards of hope trying to come back together in his weakened aura. "Whatever it is, bro, we'll get through it together like we always do. You gotta trust me, bro….. the same way I trust you. We gotcha back, D."

Though Donnie doesn't utter a word, he doesn't have to 'cause his body's doing the talking for him. I look down at where my hand is resting on his arm and watch as his skin brightens, becoming identical to my own awesome shade of green.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

With a shameless sniff, I rub an arm across my tear-moistened eyes. I wish this were a really bad dream and that I would wake up in a cold sweat at my computer desk. However, that wish is far from reality as my eyes scan the dilapidated maintenance room. Cold, dark, and filthy….words I could use to describe this room and myself. This room is where I belong, where I should rot and die; yet my brothers are here pleading for me to come with them. But they don't know, they've only seen glimpses of this horrible thing I'm becoming, but if they knew… saw what I did, they would put me out of my misery before I—

"Come on, bro, let's go home." I look up at my baby brother as he extends his hand to me.

Home… I'm so tired…. I just want to go home…. but can I? Home use to be a place of safety and protection, and at one point in time a place of love, but what is now? ...Nothing more than a reminder of my weakness, shame, and guilt.

"Let's go home, D," my youngest brother repeats as his unremitting trust and hope manages to warm something inside of me I thought the beast had consumed. I'm not sure whether my brother's trust in me is brave or just plain stupid, but a part of me wants to believe in his hope too. Even in my fear and uncertainty, I nod mutely as I take his hand. It isn't long before I am gripped and handled by my older brothers as they, too, uplift me from my pathetic state.

Leo gives a confident smile as he pats my plastron. I try to return the smile but an excruciating pain suddenly spasms in my left arm.

"ARGHH!" White specks dance across my vision as I dizzily tumble back. My arm burns like liquid fire as muscles feel like they're being ripped apart like paper. I should have known better. How could I be so stupid to believe going home would fix this? The fiery pain bends me forward, protectively cradling my arm. I feel the bones shifting violently beneath my skin, jerking my arm against my will.

There's no escaping this mutation.

"Donnie?!"

"What's happening?"

"Holy shell…." Raph's voice is the last thing I remember before I start screaming as something in my arm breaks free of its fleshy confinement and my world instantly blacks out.

TBC...

A/N: How's that for drama and suspense?...lol. I want to thank you guys again for hanging around for this story. I still can't believe this story has 400 reviews...unbelievable. I read all of my reviews and do my best to reply back to everyone who reviews, favorites, or follows my stories. I really appreciate the support and encouragement...you have no idea.

There was one anonymous reviewer who thought I wrote Raph too 'angry' and 'mean.' I intentionally give Raph a very rough exterior. Personally, I see Raph as a tough exterior-squishy interior type of guy. Does he love his brothers? Yes. Is he going to outright tell them that?...No, not under normal circumstances. He's rude, blunt, and teases his brothers. He tends to tell people what's on his mind...whether they ask for it or not. Keep in mind that this story is not just a character growth/development for Donatello, but also for Michelangelo, Leonardo, and yes, even tough as nails Raphael. So, how Raph is portrayed now, isn't necessarily how he will be portrayed in later chapters. ;)

It shouldn't take as long to get the next chapter out to you guys. Please leave a review...its like fuel for my writing muse! :D

Until next chapter,

Poetique