Chapter 32: Other Mother

"One."

I made my way to the training room, wincing with every step I took. Alexandra had forbidden any of the medics from helping me, so I wasn't going to get the help I needed from them.

I sank to my knees on the floor, the pain from the lashings excruciating. My breathing was shallow and I was too dizzy to walk, so I just sat there. Eventually, I fell forward, laying on my front, my eyes closed.

I don't know how long I lay there, but I was there until I heard Selena's voice. "Frisk! Oh no, oh no no no... Aaron! Liam! Help!"

I heard running footsteps, and felt cool hands feel my neck for a pulse. After a moment, I heard a sigh of relief. "She's still alive. Her pulse is getting weaker, but she's alive. Liam, the medics won't be able to help her, not when she's this far gone. I'll need both you and Selena to run to my office, and grab," I didn't hear much else, everything was muffled.

Everything was getting darker and darker, and Aaron's voice was getting quieter and quieter.

Everything was silent.

When I came to, I found that I was no longer at the compound. As a matter of fact, I was no longer anywhere in Ebott City nor anywhere else.

I was in the void once again.

I quickly found Gaster, who was looking at me curiously. "Frisk, how are you here?"

I looked around the void, finding screens filled with images and footage of my family and friends. I made my way to a screen with Sans and Melody, putting my hand up to the screen as I watched them. "Oh, uh, I don't know. I'm kind of just... here. I think it happens when I'm severely injured. Or dead. Maybe I'm able to come here when I sleep or something, I dunno." My eyes followed Melody's and Sans' every movement as they had a tea party together, and my heart became heavy.

Gaster came up and put a hand on my shoulder, "Frisk, what are you doing. There are other ways to solve the problems that you face out there, you don't have to be at that compound."

My eyes flitted to another wall, finding the other Sans chatting with Flowey. "I don't know, Gaster. I just... I can't really see any other ways to do this right now, y'know? I don't want to risk anyone's life, I don't want anyone to get hurt, I don't want things to get so bad that I end up resetting or something. I can barely see what I'll be doing in just a week, how will I be able to see different outcomes for this?"

Gaster was silent for a moment, and his voice came out gentle, "Frisk, you must not let depression take hold of you now. You have to fight, you have to stay determined, you have to get back to the ones you love."

My voice was quiet as it broke, "But I'm so tired of fighting... I just want to settle down and live my life. I want to be with someone that I love, I want to go to college, I want a job that I like, I want kids, a family, I want to live in peace. I'm sick and tired of having to fight."

Gaster turned me to look at him, "Frisk, don't you see? If you fight, you can get everything that you desire. You just need to stay strong and get through this."

I took a breath as tears pricked my eyes, "I'm tired of being strong… but… I guess it won't hurt to fight for a little longer. I just... I need a break." My eyes went over to the screen with the other Sans, "Do you think I could visit them? You know, as my sort of break from life?"

Gaster nodded, "If that is what you desire. With your unique soul, you're able to visit alternate universes with ease. And you should be able to make your way back home with ease as well." Gaster hesitated, "Frisk, with this ability, do you think you could-"

I gave Gaster a hug, "Of course. I'll make sure to visit you as often as possible... It must be lonely here, just watching as your loved ones go on with their lives... So don't worry, I'll be sure to visit."

Gaster smiled as I pulled away, "Thank you, dear one. I'll be sure to watch over you and your loved ones, as well as help you as best as I can."

I gave Gaster a small smile, "Thank you. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Frisk."

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I noticed was that I did not have a body.

Instead, I seemed to be transparent. I seemed to be a ghost.

"Frisk...?" Chara's voice reached my ears.

I whirled around to see Chara with tears in her disbelieving eyes. I smiled as I saw her, holding out my arms for a hug, "Hey Chara, miss me?"

Chara ran into my arms, holding on tight, "Frisk, oh my god! We've missed you so so so much. We were all heartbroken when you- when- when what happened to you, happened. Sans took the loss hardest, I think. Wait, how are you even here?!"

I shrugged, "Unique soul abilities I guess. Anyways, my question is, can Sans and Flowey... see me?"

Chara hesitated, "Well, it's possible, I think. I mean, it really all depends on whether or not you're strong enough to project your image to them."

I gave Chara a small smile, "It'll be fine if they don't see me... just seeing them and being around them would be enough." I looked around the room we were in, catching sight of the other Sans immediately. I glided over to the other Sans, seeing him sleeping fitfully on the couch. "He's having nightmares?"

Chara nodded, gliding over. "The nightmares haven't stopped since you've left. Some days they're okay, manageable, like today. Other days... they can get really bad."

I leaned over and gave the other Sans a kiss on the forehead, the effect immediate as he calmed. "Do you know what the nightmares are about?" Chara gave me a look, the answer was obvious. "So the nightmares are over losing me... I really made him fall for me, huh?" Chara came up beside me, hesitantly putting a hand on my shoulder.

We stood there in silence for a few moments, before I crossed over to sit in a chair. I turned to Chara as I ran my hand through my tangled hair, "I don't know Chara, maybe it'd be better if I didn't come see you guys. I mean, I'll just end up leaving and being away to live in my universe, so why should I come and see you guys only to put you through losing me again?" What am I even doing with my life right now? Seriously Frisk, what the fuck.

Chara was silent for a minute before replying, "Well, at least if you come to visit every once in a while, then at least we'd know that you're okay. Because, as you can see, Sans isn't really taking your death well. We can all tell that he wants to talk about it, and we can tell that he's worried that you lied about the alternate universe thing just to make him feel better. I mean, heck, even Papyrus is starting to get worried and wanting to help him."

I became just a bit more alert and sat up straighter, "Even- even Papyrus is worried? Are you sure? I mean, this Papyrus is so… how do I say it?"

"Heartless? Cruel? Evil?" Chara fueled a few words for me.

"Pfft, no. Papyrus cares about Sans, I know he does. He just… has a hard time showing it." I took my gaze from Chara to the other Sans, watching as he started to toss and turn in his sleep once more. "… I've really just fucked everything up, haven't I?"

Chara yelped out in surprise, "Frisk! Language, you never cuss!"

I got up from my seat and quickly made my way over to the other Sans, crossing my arms as I turned back to the other Chara. "What the hell do you know Chara? Maybe I swear all the fucking time in my universe, and I just lied to you all, making you believe that I was this sweet innocent girl!" My lip started to quiver and I could feel my eyebrows start to furrow in the way that they do when you're in pain or sad. My voice was thick with emotion as I blinked back the tears burning at my eyes, "I just always fuck things up, no matter how hard I try to do good in this world. And it hurts that I can't be what everyone wants, or what anyone needs. And it hurts that I can't be what I want, or what I need. Because I'm not enough, and I won't be enough, and I'll never be close to enough. And- and…. I'm just so damn tired."

Everything was silent, my gasping sobs resounding throughout the room.

"sweetheart, you don't really think that… do ya?"

I whirled around to come face to face with the other Sans, whose mouth was turned into a frown, with his eyes that communicated more than any words ever could. "Sans!" I flung myself at him as I let out a strangled cry.

Surprisingly, I felt a warm pair of skeleton arms wrap around me, holding me close. "whoa there sweetheart, breathe, okay? just breathe."

I dug my nails into his bones, and I knew it must have hurt, but the other Sans didn't say anything. "I can't, I can't, I can't!" I could feel myself hyperventilating, I could feel myself getting lightheaded and dizzier by the second.

I could feel Sans gently get me off of and away from him, "frisk, sweetheart, you need to concentrate on my voice, okay? just concentrate on me for a moment." My gaze flicked over to the other Sans as he looked into my eyes and continued speaking, "good, good girl. now, you need to help me out, okay? just do me a favor and tell me: what are five things that you see right now?" I must have somewhat scoffed or something, because when I looked away, Sans snapped his fingers in front of my eyes multiple times. "hey, frisk, you need to concentrate. i'm trying to help you, but i can't help if you won't work with me here. now, one more time: what are five things that you see right now?"

"….Sweater. Your- your red sweater." I remember how he wrapped me up in that sweater once. Okay, that was One. "Um, there's- there's Flowey over by the window." Two. "The couch…" Three. "Your eyes." Four. "That- that stupid necklace. The one like a- a save point." Five.

"good, that was good. you're still hyperventilating pretty badly though, so you really need to put your full attention and concentration into this. now: four things that you feel. and by feel, i mean as in what you can touch."

My breathing slowed slightly as I breathlessly and shakily responded, "The- the wooden floor…. The stinging…. Your shorts… And your- your hands on mine."

"there you go, just a few more things you need to tell me, okay? what are three things you can hear?" My thoughts immediately went to his deep voice first, since it was so soothing.

"Your voice, I can hear your voice." One. "Um, I can hear the heat coming through the vents." Two. "And… I can hear… the wind, outside."

"now can you tell me two things you can smell?" Sans held up two fingers as he talked about smelling two things, making me smile a little.

"I can smell wood, from your shirt. And I can smell Grillby's, heating up in the kitchen." Why were we doing this again?

"and finally, what is one thing that you can taste." Sans helped me up onto the couch with him, waiting for a response.

"…Does my morning breath count? I don't think I brushed my teeth today, and it tastes like a dead rat." I gave the other Sans a small smile, my lips stretching when he burst out laughing.

After a few minutes his laughter died down, "sweetheart, that was nowhere near funny."

I glared, "Then why'd you laugh, huh?"

The other Sans shrugged, "it was unexpected after that little incident. and it was mainly pity."

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever…" The other Sans was looking at me with a confused expression. "So, you must be wondering why I'm here?"

The other Sans shrugged, "kinda, i'm especially wonderin' how you're physically here. but you did say that you'd come and visit us some, right sweetheart? let us know how you were doing in your other universe? my only real question is: how long will you stay?"

I gave Sans a small smile, "Maybe a day or so, at the most. It depends. And I'm really not sure how I'm here physically. I guess I projected myself enough to become physical? I dunno… So, how are things holding up here?"

The other Sans actually smiled a bit, "good, we wanna spend some time with you. and before you go asking how things are here, you're supposed to tell us about things over on your side. so, sweetheart, time to give us the details. is your lover boy just oh-so in love with you? any murderin' going on over there?"

I forced a chuckle, "Um, no, no murdering going on. Just…" Truth? Lies? "Just the same old boring stuff everyday. Working, school, living in peace, y'know, all of that fun stuff."

"you hesitated." Sans gave me a look that said 'cut the bullcrap'.

"Wha- I did not! I didn't hesitate!" Yeah I did.

The other Sans crossed his arms and gave me a look while smirking, "sweetheart, you hesitated. out with the truth. and while you're at it, maybe you can tell me what that incident was just now."

I scoot away from Sans, wrapping my arms around my knees as I sat on the opposite end of the couch. "…. Things aren't… the best, but it's fine." I glanced over to see Sans motion for me to go into more detail."Things-" I took a breath, reliving the past day and a half. "Things haven't exactly been the greatest… I don't know where to start either…"

"just start at the beginning, sweetheart."

I had told the other Sans everything from when I got back to my universe. I told him all about my Sans and Pandora being together, I told him all about Alexandra, almost everything. Now, I was getting to the past day and a half...

…. "…..Okay, so, you know how I was in a relationship with Kody?"

The other Sans nodded, his eyes taking on a questioning look. "yeah, you started dating to take your mind off of your sans, but you started to really like this kody guy. what about it?"

I briefly closed my eyes before taking a shaky breath, "Well, something happened. It happened just about a day ago…." I felt Sans' hand envelop mine, but I kept my eyes closed in fear of crying. "I had Kody head to the grocery store for me to pick up some groceries and stuff. It had been a bit too long since I sent him, and that's when everything went to shit." I opened my eyes to look at the other Sans, watching his non-existent brows crinkle in concern. My voice was tremulous, "Gabe called me, in a panic. He said I needed to get there now, because things were really bad. So I got there, and…. it was bad. It seemed like everyone was injured, there was so much blood. But it wasn't until I got to the back corner of the store that…"

Sans scoot closer to me, rubbing soothing circles onto my back. "sweetheart, you can take your time. you don't have to rush through this."

I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head as I got ready to let everything tumble out of my mouth. "Kody was laying in a pool of his own blood, practically dead. Apparently I got there in time to heal him, me most likely being the main reason why he lived…"

"…but?" The other Sans knew there was something else.

"But…. there was a complication. And Kody… di- he died." Sans picked me up, set me on his lap facing him, and hugged me tight. He was expecting me to cry, to break down, but… I didn't. Even though I felt like I should be breaking down, even though I hadn't grieved or mourned the way I should have by now, I didn't.

The other Sans finally let go after what seemed like an eternity, empathy in his eyes. "sweetheart, i'm so sorry you had to go through that. you don't deserve anything that's happened to you." I only shrugged in response, Sans' bony fingers tightening around my arms when I had shrugged, "honey, you do not deserve any of this, no matter what you may think. now, what do ya say about goin' to grillby's?"

I forced a smile and nodded, rethinking my decision of coming here.

Sans handed me a jacket of his that must have been new since the original was in my universe. "we'll stop by for a bite to eat, maybe you could put on a show? according to the weed, you're quite the entertainer."

I crossed over and picked Flowey up in his flower pot, playfully glaring at him. "Oh really? What else has this little rascal said?"

I felt hands wrap around me from behind, and the other Sans' head on my shoulder. His voice low as he spoke into my ear, "… that you love me." My breath caught in my throat. "do you? love me, i mean."

Did I love him? Did I really truly love him? Or did he just act as…. some sort of substitute for my Sans?

…..

I turned to see the other Sans' hopeful face…. "Of course."

I did. I loved him, to an extent. Maybe I didn't love him as much as my Sans, but I did love him.

I gently took the other Sans' face in my hands, tilted my head upwards, and pushed my lips to his teeth. The kiss was long and sweet, and when I pulled back the other Sans was grinning widely. A genuine smile took place on my lips, and I giggled when the other Sans picked me up and twirled me around, before planting another kiss on my lips.

Although I enjoyed what we had, I knew it wouldn't last. Not when I was desperately in love with my Sans. Not when I didn't belong here.

Not when I couldn't stay.

The night was going great so far.

The monsters over at Grillby's answered one of my questions: why did they save me? why did they seem to care? And the answer was simple: The other Sans had taken a certain liking to me, he had felt like I was special. Yes yes, it's cliche and dumb, and Sans admits it, and hates that he even felt that way, but it's true. Anyways, they explained that if they hadn't helped me, Sans was going to give them a very Bad Time.

I was taking a sip of my milkshake with extra whipped cream when the other Sans turned to face me, "y'know sweetheart, you still need to put on that performance."

I choked on my milkshake, trying not to spit it out all over Sans. "You mean you were serious about that?!"

The other Sans nodded solemnly, before cracking a grin. "'course, i've never heard you sing. weed says you're pretty good at it though, so naturally, i'm curious. you can perform here, and sort of, think of it as your big debut."

I whined, pushing my milkshake aside for the moment. "I'm not even that good at singing. And even if I did sing, I have no idea what song I would perform. Saannsss, do I have to?"

The other Sans nodded, before standing up and leading me to the small stage in the corner of Grillby's. "sweetheart, you'll do just fine. now, i wanna hear your singing voice, so get up there."

"Okay, geez," I muttered as I found my way to the piano.

I took a deep breath, before closing my eyes and letting my fingers work their magic on the keys.

"I'm just an angel that's fallen from grace, in a weak moment, in doubt of my faith. I danced with the devil, and I'm so ashamed… He never mentioned that I'd have to pay." I opened my eyes momentarily, my gaze falling on the other Sans who already looked enchanted. "Beautiful fiction, he made me believe, love and affection from him would be cheap. But I'm in the red, and now I'm on the run. I wanna go home, I don't know what I've done…. Heaven help us, be the compass, out of darkness. Cause I'm a fallen angel, finding my way back home."

I left the piano in the hands of a fellow human who knew the song, and glided over to sit on the bar counter near Grillby. "I'm just an angel that's fatally lost, I tried to be something I know that I'm not. I danced with the devil and I'm so ashamed, too far down a road to go back where I came…. Heaven help us, be the compass, out of darkness. Cause I'm a fallen angel, finding my way back home….." A smile played on my lips as I saw that I had enraptured the entire bar. "I'm just an angel that's fallen from grace, in a weak moment, in doubt of my faith. I danced with the devil, and I'm so ashamed… He never mentioned that I'd have to… pay."

A round of applause was instantaneous once I ended the song, bar customers cheering and asking for encores.

"Frisk?" A tremulous voice called out.

A look of disgust, quickly turned to confusion as I looked at the woman slowly approaching me.

"… M-mom?"

Oh sweet cheese and crackers, I haven't updated in forever. Sorry guys, I meant to update earlier!

It's summer vacation, I'm starting to get really inspired, so it's possible that I may upload multiple chapters in a day, like last time. But I'm also busy, so I don't know how often I'll update. I WILL update though, as often as I can. (Also, sorry for horrible chapter names, I don't know how to make words go.)

Also, something that's been on my mind, are one shots. Would any of you be interested at all in Sans x Frisk or Sans x Reader one shots? It's just an idea that's been on my mind for a while, so let me know if you're interested at all.

Alas, I must go. I love you my lovely, incredible readers!

Until Next Time~