Chapter 38:First Kiss

Seems like I was wrong.

It had been a while since that discussion with the others. It's... what, August now? So it´d been about a month since I had gotten us out of the compound and to our safe place.

Even though Toriel and Sans and such had not agreed with letting me go up to the surface for supply runs and to prove to the Ambassadors that I was still alive, they had to relent, since more people were on my side.

I only went to see the Ambassadors though, only going on the one supply run as well. Besides that one time back up on the Surface, I stayed in the Underground. I don't know why, but I just... I couldn't be on the Surface right now. There was a foreboding feeling accompanied with the time that I had spent on the Surface that day. Something was going to happen... but what?

"hello? frisk? earth to frisk, come in frisk," Sans had interrupted me from my thoughts.

I looked up at the skeleton, my eyes taking in his features, "Yes, Sans? What is it?" He looked so tired.

Sans sat down on my bed, sighing, "the ambassadors want to talk to you. they'd prefer it if you could chat with them in person, buuut they're willing to video chat if you don't want to head up to the surface."

I gave Sans a small smile, before getting up, "Thank you for the heads up. Can you let them know that I'll be with them shortly? I have some research that I want to finish up." It was more information about LV, along with some tactics to get magic levels up and to perfect certain attacks.

Sans hesitated, as if he wanted to say something, before getting up and walking to the door. But as he started to step out, he decided otherwise and closed the door, turning to me. "why are you always in here all the time? when we got you back, you fought with us, quite viciously, so you could head back to the surface. now you're in this room all the time, always researching something. why?"

I looked Sans in the eye, feeling that familiar stinging sensation as tears started to arrive. But I took a deep breath, focusing my eyes onto my computer, "Confidential."

Sans sat back down on the edge of my bed, "bullshit. frisk, just let me in, please. stop shutting me out."

I slammed my computer lid shut, "Why? Why do you want me to let you in? Why do you even try?! Every day, it's the same thing: 'Frisk, just let me in, let me help you. Frisk, I care about you.' Why? Why do you care?!"

Sans slammed his fist down onto my bed, before jumping up, "Because I'm in love with you, goddammit!" Sans' face was an unholy shade of blue, but he went on, "I'm so in love with you that it hurts sometimes, it hurts a lot currently because of everything that's been going on! I take care of Melody, I try not to fight you on things, I stood by when you were in a relationship with Kody, I worked multiple jobs to keep your family afloat, I held you when you needed someone, I was there to dry your tears, I was your best friend, I did everything for you!" Sans' breathing was labored, and he had to take a moment to calm down. "I did everything for you, Frisk... even when you pushed me aside like I was nothing."

My heart was pounding. He loved me.

I threw my blanket off of me, trying to keep my features clear of pain and debilitating sorrow, as I ran out of the room.

I ran down the stairs, through the long halls, and into the freezing cold of Snowdin. I didn't even care about the fact that I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt in the freezing cold. I ran through the trees in the forest, heart beating erratically, feet numb. I didn't stop until I had to slide to a stop, before I fell into the river.

I stood there for a moment, before sinking to my knees, the snow underneath sinking down as well.

At first there were only sniffles, but then those sniffles turned to full on sobs.

I should be happy. Sans loves me. But...

My body was shaking from how hard I was sobbing.

I had hurt him so much.

I don't know how long I had been there, before I heard someone running up behind me. Sans. Of course.

I couldn't feel his hands on my arms, but I knew they were there, trying to warm me up. "dammit frisk, you need to stop doing shit like this."

"...I'm sorry," I whispered.

"well if you're really sorry, then you wouldn't-" Sans began.

I looked up at him, my eyes red and puffy as they glistened with tears, "No. I'm sorry you love me."

Sans froze, looking at me with incredulous eyes, "wha- what?"

I wiped at my eyes again, even though it wouldn't help with the puffiness and tears. My voice sounded so small and heartbroken to my ears, "I'm sorry that you love me..."

Sans looked heartbroken, "why? why would you-" He paused so he could pick me up bridal style, before continuing, "why would you say that?"

I could feel my body start to tremble again, another set of sobs coming on, "Because of everything I put you through, all of that pain... If I had known, I would've- I would have-"

Sans had a small grin, "kid, you wouldn't have been able to do anything. you can't change how i feel."

I dug my nails into my skin, hard enough to draw blood, "But you shouldn't have done anything for me. I don't deserve it! I'm such a horrible person, I've done unimaginable things, I don't deserve any of it!"

"Frisk, please, don't-"

My voice was a whisper, meant only for my ears, "I deserve to die."

Sans froze, his whole being starting to shake.

I looked up at him, only to find that he had turned his head. "Sans, are you-"

"Don't. Ever. Say. That. Again. It's not true" His voice was as shaky as him himself.

Had that hurt him too? "But it is. I'm a worthless-"

"Frisk."

"Useless, abhorrent, cruel, awful, revolting thing that needs to be wiped out of existence!" I choked out, ignoring Sans' shaking body and now glowing eye.

But everything became unnaturally quiet when there was a chime.

My LV.

I scrambled out of Sans' arms, hurting my knee as I fell, before running back to Toriel's, ignoring Sans' shouts as he ran after me.

I had only gotten to the entrance of the Ruins when Sans caught up, grabbing onto my arm, preventing me from running off. When he grabbed my arm, I felt that familiar sensation of the ground disappearing underneath me, and the fleeting sensation of floating, before I felt the ground firmly reappear under my feet. I yanked my arm from Sans, frantically looking around for an exit, before realizing that he had brought me to the true lab.

Great. One of the places that I could easily get lost in, since the true lab goes a lot deeper than it seems to.

I turned towards Sans, seeing the concerned and equally angry features of his. "Sans, why'd you bring me here? I have no time for this, I need to have that meeting with the Ambassadors. I've already wasted enough time as it is, and-"

"your soul... your stats... show them to me," Sans said quietly, stepping closer.

I looked at my hands, tears welling up again. Why was I so emotional today? "...And if I refuse?"

Sans slowly took my hand in his, "please, don't make it difficult like this."

I let go of Sans' hand, already missing the feeling of his cool fingers entwined with mine. "Please don't hate me, and let me explain. Please?"

Sans took my hand in his again, holding on tightly, "i'll let you explain. and i could never hate you, i promise."

I gave Sans a small smile, knowing that he didn't make promises lightly. "Okay..."

I hesitantly pulled up my stats, letting the bold letters be out in the open. Sans immediately flinched, his hand coming out of mine momentarily. That's exactly why I let go of his hand in the first place...

Frisk Brianna Saunders

HP: 1,000/1,000

ATK: 978/978

DF: 978/978

LV: 348

This is not the way things should have gone. Frisk, terrible things come your way. Be strong. Do the right thing.

"Frisk," Sans gasped, hands trembling as he traced my stats.

Tears were freely making their way down my cheeks, "I know. And I know you promised, but it's- it is okay if you hate me."

Sans' arms were suddenly around me, hugging me close and tight. "i told you, i could never hate you."

I took a few hitching breaths, hugging Sans back, "Are you sure?"

Sans pulled away slightly to look me in the eyes, "absolutely."

I smiled as he wiped a tear that had just fallen from my eye, "We need to have a serious sit-down and talk, don't we?"

Sans nodded, sliding a hand into mine, getting ready to teleport, "yeah, we do. you still have that meeting with the ambassadors though, so... later tonight? we can just talk, get everything out there?"

I started to swing our entwined hands back and forth through the air as soon as we had teleported, "Can we talk about one thing quick though? About us?" Sans nodded, and my smile got smaller, "What are we? Are we... together? Do you even want to be together?"

Sans held onto my hand even tighter, pulling me in closer as well, "i want to be with you. only if you want to though."

I looked at our entwined hands, smiling slightly, "...I just don't want to hurt you, anymore than I already have."

Sans gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, "i'll be fine. you can do your worst, but now that i know that you love me too... nothing you do can hurt me."

I gave Sans a playful shove, "Too cheesy. What you said was too cheesy. And such a lie."

Sans shrugged, "you know me, the cheesy, punny skeleton."

"Okay, that was weak. You need to up your pun game," I said jokingly. God, I missed his puns. And the way he smiled, the coolness of his bones, the way he smelled like ketchup and the Snowdin woods after a walk. I just missed him.

Sans held my hand until we got to the top of the stairs at the house. He looked over at me sheepishly, "i'm sorry, i just don't want pandora to see. she... wouldn't take it very well."

I gave Sans a reassuring smile, "It's okay. I don't want anyone finding out just yet. I kind of want to... keep this to ourselves, for a little while. I want to savor it."

Sans nodded in agreement, "yeah, let's not tell them for a little while... anyways, you should get to chara, she'll set everything up with you and the ambassadors."

I turned to Sans momentarily, wanting to say more, but no words coming out. Instead, I gave him a small smile, "We'll talk later, for sure?" When Sans nodded, I turned back around, heading towards the living room, where Chara was waiting.

Chara turned to me, her whole demeanor telling me that she was tired, "Heya Frisky Bits. You ready for this meeting?"

I nodded, "Yeah, we can start now. What do they want to talk about this time?"

Chara shrugged, starting the video call and sitting beside me, "No idea. They want me here too though, so it can't possibly be good."

As Chara finished saying that, the call had begun, the Ambassadors and an extra guest sitting there. Ms. Grey, Mr. Jansen, and...

"Ms. Saunders, thank you for contacting us. As you can see, we have your father here with us," Ms. Grey began.

Chara's head whipped toward me, her features full of concern and eyes blazing with anger for my father.

Ms. Grey continued, "He has brought to our attention that for the few months that you were missing, you were actually at a compound hidden in the surrounding mountains of Ebott City."

I looked to my father, who just sat there, twiddling his thumbs. Why would he bring all of this up? He had nothing to gain from this.

Chara jumped in, trying to protect me, "She had been forcefully taken; kidnapped. She had no say in the matter. So I suggest you cut to the chase and tell us what's going on here."

Mr. Jansen cut in then, his arms crossed, "Yes, we know she was kidnapped. But how did you escape, Frisk."

I furrowed my brows, fiddling with my hands in my lap, "Well, I'm a Mage, I have insurmountable powers that are still developing and being discovered. I just used my powers to frighten everyone, and then teleport away. Why?"

Mr. Jansen looked to Ms. Grey, before looking back to me, "That's not what we found at the compound, Frisk... When Aaron took us to the compound to show us where you had been held captive, we found bodies. The compound was an absolute wreck, as if someone with insurmountable powers had unleashed their rage."

My eyes widened, and my heart felt as if it were being squeezed, "Wha- What? No, that's not true, I was there a month ago, there were no bodies. I only saved the people stuck there with me, and then I left. I didn't do anything, the people I saved can attest to that fact."

Ms. Grey looked at me with sad eyes, "Frisk, you seem like a lovely young woman, and we would very much like to believe you. You know what must happen."

The bad, knotted feeling in my stomach worsened, "Yes, I know."

Ms. Grey and Mr. Jansen gave me pitying looks, before ending the video call.

I put my face into my hands, closing my eyes and taking a moment.

Chara waited until I looked back up, before asking her questions, "Frisk, you didn't actually kill anyone, did you?"

I shook my head, "No, not the people at the compound. I never touched any of them."

Chara bore her eyes into mine, "Not the people at the compound? Then who- nevermind, we can discuss that later... What did they mean by, 'you know what must happen'? They didn't mean-"

"No, they wouldn't kill me or anything, we don't need to worry about that," I said quietly.

Chara looked to the computer screen, before looking back at me, "Then... what did they mean?"

"They mean... that they will no longer be our allies."

"Okay, okay, can you repeat yourself once more?" Asgore asked quietly.

After the video call with the other Ambassadors, Chara and I had decided to inform the others. Of course, the only one left out of this conversation, was Melody. She had no business in our affairs, she was only a child.

Selena looked up at me, arms crossed. She thought that I shouldn't be involved in all of this anyways. I knew it from the look in her eyes.

I looked back to the others, "Basically, the Ambassadors met up with me and Chara. They think that I killed some people at the compound I was trapped at. They think I'm a bad person, and now they are not going to be associated with us or anyone who supports us and monsters or monster kind, not until they have evidence that I didn't kill those people."

Toriel looked at me in disbelief, "But you'd never hurt-" Toriel cut herself off when she saw the grim expression on my face. "Frisk, you'd never... kill someone, would you?" Toriel questioned, not wanting to believe that I would.

I opened my mouth to explain, before shutting it again. I took a small breath, changing the subject, "We need to figure out what the plan is. Without the Human Ambassador's protection and alliance, we're vulnerable. And I don't mean just us, I mean all of the monsters, all of the humans who are on our side; they're all vulnerable to attacks right now."

Papyrus chimed in then, his voice sounding strange now that it was no longer cheery, "So we must go back to the surface, protect the humans and monsters."

After a moment, I nodded, "Yes, Papyrus, we have to protect them. And to do so, I suggest that we-"

"Reinforce the Royal Guard," Papyrus finished for me.

Undyne put a word in then, "And if we get the Royal Guard back together, I'll need to know the requirements to be in the Guard. I don't want newbies, or mediocre skills. We'll need the best of the best, so we can protect our people."

Chara cut in then, her voice shaky, "Hold on, hold on. You guys sound like you're preparing for... war, almost."

I put a reassuring hand on Chara's shoulder, "Hey, we are not going to war. And we won't. We're just enforcing some new security measures, almost."

Sans was leaning lazily against the wall, but I could tell he was tense. "don't worry kid, none of ya's going to be fighting in some war. especially not any of you younger ones," Sans said, looking in Papyrus' direction.

"There won't be a war to fight in," I stated firmly. I took a moment to gather my thoughts, before speaking again, "Okay, so we have a sort of outline, for what we plan to do. We're heading back up to the Surface, we'll reinforce the Royal Guard, we'll negotiate with the Ambassadors while we try to find evidence to back me up, and we avoid any fights and such. We want to do everything peacefully."

Liam crossed his arms, looking at me, "But won't reinforcing this Royal Guard of yours, seem like you're preparing for a fight? I think the media will take it that way, at least."

I ran a hand through my tangled hair, catching a few knots, "Then I'll do interviews. I'll answer questions, I'll do anything, to explain our actions and show that we're being peaceful."

I stood up, starting to leave the room, "Don't worry you guys, we'll figure this out tomorrow. Let's get some sleep."

There was a soft knocking on my bedroom door, Sans' voice muffled, "knock knock, anyone in there?"

I smiled, pulling a sweater on around me, "Come in, ya bonehead."

Sans opened the door, feigning shock and pain, "that insult... it was just... too much... i will never survive..."

I giggled, getting up to shut the door, "Shush up you numbskull."

Sans held his chest in feigned hurt, "wow frisk, i am just wounded. that insult was just too much... i felt that one in my bones."

I smacked my palm to my forehead, smiling and close to laughing, "That was terrible. All that time that I was gone, and your puns have not improved."

Sans plopped down next to me on my bed, "yet you still laugh. c'mon, you love my puns, just admit it."

I gave Sans a small smile, my voice quiet, "Well... I definitely missed them..."

Sans' smile slowly shrunk, his voice as quiet as mine, "yeah, i missed having someone to tell them to... what happened, frisk? what'd they do to you at that compound?"

I pulled one of Sans' hands onto my leg, letting it rest there as I fiddled with his bony fingers, "A lot. A lot happened. A lot of terrible things... Did you know that I was punished, on my first night there? Yeah, I was whipped, and I lost so much blood that I almost died." I didn't look up to see Sans' horrified look, I just continued, "Training was what increased my LV at first. We had to harm others in our training, and I guess that helped my LV go up. I was sent on missions too. I had to kill some people on a few missions. And that definitely increased my LV. And then I refused to hurt others again, and instead I... well, you can see the scars I put on my body. And..." I trailed off, thinking about all the ways that I could have avoided this all.

Sans yanked me into his arms, letting my head rest against his chest, "i'm so sorry frisk. i am so, so sorry. i told gabe that we should've gone for you, tried to save you. but he insisted that you knew what you were doing and that you could handle it. and i know that you wouldn't have wanted us to try, but we should have."

I wrapped my arms around Sans, breathing in deeply, "It's okay. I'm here, I'm safe..."

After a moment, Sans gently pushed me away, "why didn't you contact us? or at least try?"

I thought back to the times I went to Tabatha, "I tried. But I just... I couldn't put you guys in danger. I went to Tabatha at first, thinking I could get her to pass a letter on to you guys the next time you saw her, but... then the LV thing, my guard, Alexandra, all of it just seemed... I didn't want to put you guys in any unnecessary danger... Guess I screwed that up anyways."

Sans looked me in the eyes, giving me a small smile, "frisk, you tried your best... did you know that you have absolutely beautiful eyes?"

I smacked myself in the forehead with my palm for the second time that night, "Pffft, what? Sans, that was really random."

Sans gave me a goofy grin, "eh, the atmosphere was a bit too serious for my taste. thought i'd lighten the mood up for a bit... i meant it though, you do have such gorgeous eyes."

I could feel the heat going into my cheeks, knowing that I was turning into an absolute tomato, "Oh shush, you're delusional... We should be getting some sleep, we have a big day tomorrow."

"do i have to leave? i want to spend the night with my girlfriend," Sans said, hugging me tight.

I smiled so big my cheeks began to hurt, "I like that. Say it again, please?"

Sans held on tighter, "what, calling you my girlfriend?"

I laughed, not believing that this had actually happened, "Yeah, I like that... Man, we are going to be the cheesiest, most disgusting couple ever."

Sans loosened his hold on me, "heya, frisk, look up at me?" I obliged, looking up at my goofy skeleton.

In the next moment, he had put a hand under my chin to tilt my face up a bit, and before I knew it, we were kissing. It was a slow, sweet yet salty kiss, with warm lips pressed against mine. I thought I could feel all of the love pent up behind this simple action... And all too soon, it was over.

I opened my eyes, feeling over the moon, and feeling as if there were stars in the eyes, "... I liked that. I very much liked that. But, I have a question."

Sans looked down at me as he held me in his arms again, "and what is your question?"

I pulled away from Sans, looking at his mouth where his lips would be, "It felt like I was actually kissing someone with lips, but you don't have any? You only have that stupid grin all the time... How did you do that?"

Sans gave me a big smile, and I knew exactly what his answer would be, "mmmmmagic!"

I grabbed a pillow, playfully whacking Sans upside the skull with it, "Okay bucko, no more funny business, it's time for bed."

I slid under the covers, readjusting my pillow as Sans took off his sweater so he was in his t-shirt and shorts.

As Sans lay down next to me, he turned to me, asking a question, "frisk, who was your first kiss?"

I turned onto my side, looking at Sans, "Well, my first kiss was actually Kody. I wanted it to be you, but... you were with Pandora at the time." I took a moment to think, before saying quietly to Sans, "But Kody didn't count. I could kiss a million people, but none of them would count, because they wouldn't be the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"...and who do you want to spend the rest of your life with?" Sans asked, although he probably knew the answer already.

I lay my head on Sans' arm, not minding the boniness, and I smiled.

"You."

When I groggily opened my eyes the next morning, I didn't know where I was.

I shot up in bed, feeling my heart start to race as my eyes widened in fear.

I whipped my head around, looking around the room I was in.

My room. I was in my room. Calm down, it was just a nightmare. I'm fine, I'm safe. I'm fine...

As I calmed myself, I looked down to the sleeping figure beside me, and smiled.

Sans was sleeping deeply, and peacefully. He looked so innocent, so carefree, so young.

I slowly lay back down on my side, facing Sans.

He was mine. And I was his.

And everything was just... perfect.

There was a soft knocking on my door, disrupting the perfectness.

"Who is it?" I called out quietly, trying not to wake Sans.

Gabriel poked his head in as he opened the door, "Frisk, Chara needs you, it's something about the Ambassadors and the plan for today." Gabe's gaze landed on the still sleeping Sans, "Well looky here, seems like someone confessed last night."

I felt my cheeks warm up and I could feel myself becoming flustered, "N-no, I was- we were just-... He's the one who confessed, just so you know."

I hopped out of bed, grabbing Sans' sweater and walking past Gabriel, ignoring the smirk on his face.

I walked into the dining room with my hair up in a messy bun, and Sans' jacket engulfing me, earning a smile from Chara.

Chara looked at Sans' jacket and my still flustered look,"So, are you two a thing yet, or...?"

I looked down at my hands, a small smile on my face, "I don't know..."

"You guys are a thing, you're practically glowing," Chara concluded as she took a bite off of her chocolate bar.

I rolled up my jacket sleeves, huffing, "Whatever. Anyways, Gabe said you needed me?"

Chara's smile quickly went away, "Yes, I do. Have you seen the news for the day yet?"

I shook my head slowly, "No, I just woke up. What time is it, by the way?"

Chara gave me a cup of coffee, "It's about 7:30 in the morning, so you're gonna need this coffee. Anyways, from what I've seen on the news, there have been a few incidents up on the Surface. None of them good." Chara slid her laptop over, "Here, just watch."

I pushed play on the video that was pulled up on the laptop.

"As you may all know by now, the Human Ambassadors have recently cut off relations to the Ambassador of the monsters. The reasons for this are yet to be explained. And though it was only yesterday that they announced the status of their relations, there have already been outbreaks of violence among the human and monster community; the most recent outbreak was only yesterday afternoon. As you can see here,"

The screen switched to a recording of a group of humans, who had waltzed into a more monster populated part of the city, and opened fire.

"A group of unidentified individuals walked into a mall full of monsters and humans who supported monsters. And as you can see from the footage, the group of individuals opened fire on the crowd, injuring 57 total, and killing 36."

I paused the video, gently closing the laptop.

I stared straight ahead at the wall, tears welling up in my eyes and my hands shaking as I clenched my cup in my hands.

"Frisk?" Chara asked hesitantly. "Frisk? Can you put your coffee cup down, before-"

The cup shattered in my hands, the glass and coffee going everywhere.

"Before you break it... Okay, let's clean this up, and then we need to discuss what we're going to do in response to the attacks like this," Chara said, getting up to go get a sponge and towel.

I got up, ignoring the glass shards in my hands and the burning coffee on my body, and I went back to my room.

I opened the door, sending some glass deeper into my hand, and I looked at Sans' sleeping figure. "Sans?"

Sans made a small noise, letting me know he was awake.

My voice was as shaky as my bleeding hands, "I, um, I'm sorry. I made a mess, and I was wearing your jacket, and I think I got coffee on it."

Sans sat up, rubbing an eye, "frisk, what are ya-" Sans was immediately awake once he saw my hands and my shaken appearance, "oh jesus, you really gotta stop doing this." Sans quickly crossed over to me, leading me to sit on my bed as he began to pick the shards out of my hand.

I took a shaky breath, tears still stinging my eyes and making my nose burn, "I know, but I couldn't help it this time, honest. I just- Chara showed me the news and- oh god..."

Sans quickly healed my hands up, before getting up and sitting beside me on the bed, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back, "you can trust me... what happened?"

Tears started to trickle out of my eye, my voice barely audible as I spoke, "36 people were killed yesterday, and 57 were injured. They were all monsters and humans who supported the monsters." I looked up at Sans' shocked expression, my voice breaking, "It was a shopping mall. There were kids! Families! Innocent people!"

Sans held me tight, not in a loving embrace like the night before, but a reassuring yet fearful embrace.

Sans buried his face into my neck, "it'll be okay. we'll make things better, we'll prevent something like this from happening ever again."

I held Sans' arms into place around me, leaning my head back against him, "...We definitely have to try."

Sans gave me a small kiss on the head as he held me, "and we will succeed."

I looked down at my hands, the knot in my stomach twisting up even more and becoming painful.

"Let's get a move on then."

There was so much cuteness in this chapter, and some happiness in these dark times... it'd be a shame if someone ruined it all.

MWAHAHAHAHA

*backs up into shadows and darkness, disappearing from sight*

Until Next Time