I do not own TVD or TO.

Happy New Year everyone. I probably won't get everything in this story done since there are only 25 minutes to midnight and there is another chapter to write.

His heart clenched when he saw her. In the thirty minutes since he had left the Gilbert House to change she had found her way into her brother's room. Her dark hair fanned over the green pillow. The moment his eyes landed on her still frame he knew he shouldn't have left; the only reason he had was because Caroline and Bonnie were with her.

They were supposed to have taken her with them.

His brows knit together when he stepped from his car into the black sea of bodies. They shifted and rolled in time with the grey clouds overhead; it took him a moment to locate the smaller party in the crowd for some guy with the large extended family.

"Caroline," he came up beside the blonde and looked around, "where is she?"

Caroline blinked and shrugged. "She said she needed a minute."

"Darling?"

Fear chilled his soul when she didn't answer. She didn't even acknowledge his presence.

He could see the slight tremor of her shoulders as he stepped up beside the bed. He didn't have to hear her voice to know it was thick with unshed tears.

"Elena," he sat and laid his hand on her upper arm, "please talk to me?"

She hugged the pillow to her stomach and sniffled. The slight movement made the lace shift on her arm; it scratched and scraped her soft skin. She hated the black dress. She despised what it represented, and had hoped not to wear it again for at least half a century.

She wanted to tear the black material from her body and throw it in the fireplace. She wanted to ball it up and never look at it again, and more than anything she wanted to stay far away from the cemetery because going meant it was true.

Leaving the house meant the last of them was gone, the person she was supposed to protect was gone, and wasn't coming back.

Kol's hand slid up her shoulder to smooth her hair back from her pale cheek. She was paler than he could ever remember seeing her, and for a moment he was thrust a thousand years into the past.

His hold on her was light. He feared that if he put too much pressure on her she would break into a million pieces, and he had never been any good at jigsaw puzzles; it would take him an eternity to put her back together.

"Darling," his tone shifted to pleading, "it's time for the funeral." He knew she didn't want to go, but he also knew she would never forgive herself if she didn't.

Even with his vampire hearing he almost missed her murmured reply.

"He always comes back…" she rolled onto her back and released a shaky breath. "He always came back."

Kol followed her teary eyes to the ring she held in her palm. He hadn't seen it until she let go of the pillow.

"Elena…"

For the first time in a thousand years he found himself at a loss for words, so instead of speaking he gently took the ring from her hand and set it on the nightstand.

"How am I supposed to do this?" She was certain her lungs were filling with water, or the grief equivalent of water. Her entire body felt like it was made of lead. "I don't know… he's my baby brother… I wasn't supposed to have to do this yet." The tears welled in her eyes. "I don't know what to do."

She blinked up at him pleadingly.

"What do I do?"

He cupped her cheek and swiped away the single tear with his thumb.

"You start by standing up," he met her watery eyes and helped her to her shaking legs, "and then you put one foot in front of the other."

Put one foot in front of the other, Elena; just one foot at a time.

Her grip on the umbrella was white knuckled. As she stepped away from the small crowd the soft chatter died away and all she could hear was the heavy patter of rain on the black umbrella.

In a daze she picked up a clod of dirt. Her grip on the handle grew slack as her eyes zeroed in on the mahogany coffin until the umbrella eventually slipped from her fingers.

The water quickly saturated her dress and plastered her hair to her neck. Her tears merged with the rain until she didn't know which water was which and she didn't care. All she could do was stare.

She stared at the coffin and the graves not twenty feet away. With her vampire senses she could easily read every name: Grayson, Miranda, John, Jenna. The sorrow clawed up her throat and wrenched at her heart as she lifted her gaze. Through the downpour her eyes found the spot where Isobel had torn her necklace off and burned alive.

She couldn't see the tomb through the rain, but she knew it was just beyond the trees in a small clearing: the place where Esther had changed the course of her life.

From the corner of her eye she could see Elijah, Klaus and even Rebekah. She didn't see Kol, but she knew it was his hand on her elbow and his umbrella over her head.

She could feel the gaze of each of her friends: Bonnie, Caroline, Matt, Stefan and Damon. All of them had known loss, but only Matt might have been capable of understanding exactly where she resided in the pit of despair. Only Matt had lost every member of his family.

You did this, her breath came in ragged pants, it's all your fault. None of it would have happened if you hadn't been born.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized she was beginning to hyperventilate. Her eyes dropped to her hand and the clod of dirt that had turned to mud in her fist.

She couldn't let go. Instead her fingers curled tighter and tighter until the dirt pressed between her fingers and fell in clumps onto the smooth surface of the coffin.

She pulled her arm free and backed away slowly. Specters sprang up in her vision around every grave. She knew she should stay until the coffin was completely covered, it was what was expected, but all she could see was the dead closing in on her.

Kol thanked anyone that might have been listening that everyone in attendance was a vampire or a witch; otherwise they would have had a lot of explaining to do when Elena vanished in a rush of wind.

Caroline reached out and grabbed Stefan and Damon's arms.

"Let her go," she dug in her heels, "she's probably going home. We can catch up at the reception."

No she's not, Kol sighed.

When he was right he was right, but he supposed Caroline had been correct as well… in a sense.

Elena hadn't been in her house, but she was in his.

He stepped through his foyer and loosened his black tie while walking up the stairs towards her room. Sure enough she was there.

He drew in a shallow breath when he found her. She stood in the shower under the steaming spray of water fully clothed. He could see the shivers racing up and down her spine in spite of the scalding water and toed off his shoes and socks already knowing he would have to pull her out.

Her arms trembled as her body split in two. The cracks in her heart were letting out every drop of blood and making it impossible to get warm.

"I can't do this."

His blood ran cold.

"I c-can't f-feel it Kol," her shoulders shook, "it's too much. I c-c-c…"

"Elena," his heart dropped into his stomach, "please…"

He stepped into the spray and felt his clothes stick to his skin.

"Do you know why I didn't want to flip it back?" Her heart fought a losing battle with her head. "It was this… this grief. I've felt nothing but grief for two years."

"Please…" he swallowed thickly and reached for her shaking shoulder, "… please don't turn it off again."

"I… I c-can't handle it, Kol," her bottom lip trembled. "I c-can't feel this."

"Then feel something else… anything else."

Elena searched in vain but the only emotion she could summon was the soul-crushing sadness that never left.

"There's nothing else," her voice was small.

It was desperation that fueled his next action. That was all he could think to describe it. In his mind he told himself he was trying to summon shock or anger.

He took hold of her hips and spun her around into the wall before crashing his lips to hers in a hard kiss.

His hope was to make her angry and he half expected her to draw back her arm and slap him.

Elena froze as the hard pressure of his lips turned soft and heat began to furl through her. Her eyes drifted shut as her hands came up to splay over his chest.

His hand came up to cradle the back of her head. When she didn't push him away and scream he swept his tongue along the seam of her lips to ask for entrance to her mouth and was mildly surprised when she gave it. He poured every emotion he had into the kiss in a desperate attempt to show her that he did care.

He broke from her lips and rested his forehead against hers. Her ragged breaths fanned across his chin and sent tendrils of heat down his spine. He wanted to press his lips to hers again, but he refrained; she would have to make the next move.

Elena swallowed and basked in the warmth that spread through her body wherever he touched her. She wanted him to chase away the cold.

She was Pandora and he was at the bottom of the box. Famine, war and strife had nothing on hope.

Her fingers curled around the wet material of his tie so she could pull him closer.

Caroline couldn't stop her eyes from rolling when she saw her mom step into the Gilbert house and the wake Elena had thrown herself into planning.

"Really," she got a strange sense of déjà vu when she approached, "you couldn't take the uniform off for this?"

Liz's eyes flickered with sorrow. "I'm here in an official capacity Caroline. I have to speak with Elena." She looked around for the brunette.

"She disappeared," Caroline shrugged, "I've been holding down the fort." She looked her mother over critically. "What's going on?"

"Some new information has come to light." Liz hesitated. "It's about Jeremy, and I have to speak with her."

"New information?" Klaus stepped up beside Caroline. His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What would that be Sheriff?"

"Klaus!" Caroline snapped. She had caught the menacing undertone in his voice and dropped her voice to a whisper. "Not today please. Could you just act like a… like a human for one day."

For a moment he looked like he wanted to argue but it was a simple request so he asked again in a more civil tone. He suspected the only reason Liz Forbes answered was because she knew Elena would tell Caroline anyway.

"The coroner's report came back and the investigation has been reclassified."

"As what?" Caroline tilted her head.

"Homicide."

His hands were everywhere: peeling the wet dress from her body, pressing into her quickly warming skin, and pulling her flush against him. His lips and tongue followed a path only he knew down the column of her throat and across the tops of her breasts.

She wondered if he knew about the intense devotion displayed in each press of his lips. Could he feel the longing in her fingers as she slipped his shirt down his arms?

Elijah stepped into the kitchen after closing the door on the last of the mourners. The funeral and burial had been private, but since Jeremy was a member of a founding family the wake was open to the rest of the town and anyone who wanted to offer their condolences.

It was a true testament to Elena's character that so many had shown up in a show of support. He couldn't say he blamed her for not showing up.

"Who would want to kill Jeremy?" Klaus paced the length of the kitchen.

"Someone who didn't want the cure to be found." Bonnie stared at the knotted wood of the table as if the twisted surface had answers.

"Who wouldn't want it found?" Elijah's eyes tracked Klaus' swift movement.

"Kol," Damon scoffed. He knew he had everyone's attention when Elijah and Klaus turned to him with a critical eye. "Oh come on," he held up his hands, "he killed a dozen vampires to slow the progress of the mark, and even threatened to tear off Jeremy's arm."

Bonnie bit her bottom lip and looked up.

"He is paranoid of Silas."

Her back arched off the bed under the heated assault of his mouth. The fire beneath her skin rose to an inferno with every swipe of his tongue, but it was his fingers that pushed her over the brink.

A pillow was knocked to the floor by the crashing wave.

Elijah shook his head slowly, but he could see the anger flashing in Klaus' eyes.

"Kol wouldn't do this."

Klaus scoffed. "Kol wouldn't do what: compel someone to kill a man he couldn't? Because I think he would."

"They were friends," Caroline shook her head. She cringed under the sceptical glares of everyone at the table. "They were…" she insisted, "… sort of…"

"Kol has turned on his own family, sweetheart," Klaus grumbled.

"In his defense," Rebekah leaned back in her chair, "you did provoke him."

"On countless occasions," Elijah chimed in.

"Oh shut up," Klaus grumbled. "The point is that he has no problem turning on anyone. In a thousand years he's not cared for anyone but himself."

"If that were true he would have killed Elena months ago," Stefan murmured. If he didn't care about anyone why had he helped Jeremy? Why had he rescued Elena?

Klaus gripped the counter hard enough to dent the underside of it.

"He still might."

Her legs wrapped tightly around his waist to pull him as close as possible. She sighed as he held her hand above her head. Every roll of his hips drew a breathy moan from her lips.

The tables turned when she rolled them over and arched her back and tightened her muscles around him. For a moment he let her take complete control and groaned as she rode him before he pressed his fingers into her hips.

She gasped when her back hit the mattress and he swallowed her moans.

He slipped a hand between their bodies to manipulate her swollen clit and push her higher and higher to the state of bliss he knew was hovering over them.

"Elena didn't want the cure either," Stefan almost regretted saying it when he saw Klaus' eyes flash.

"She told me as much last week when I daggered Kol."

Rebekah's smile was sickeningly sweet. "Maybe they planned it together."

Caroline's eyes narrowed. "Elena wouldn't kill her own brother."

"Are you forgetting that she flipped the switch?" Damon rolled his eyes.

"She flipped it back," Caroline crossed her arms.

"Did she?" Damon cocked an eyebrow. Elena hadn't spoken to either him or Stefan since she had 'flipped it back' which lead him to believe it was all an act.

"She did."

Klaus surprised everyone by confirming it.

"She flipped it back a few days before Jeremy was killed. You can't fake that kind of anger."

"She could have done it before," Stefan tapped the table.

"No," Elijah shook his head. He could believe almost anything, but he wouldn't believe Elena would plot her own brother's murder.

He could feel her heart beating through her back and smell himself under her skin. The rapid rhythm moved in time with his and brought a small smile to his face. He traced long forgotten runes over her bare stomach and felt the shiver course through her body.

Elena covered his hand and ran her thumb over his knuckles. In spite of her pounding heart she was calmer. The sadness was still there but the cold had dissipated; it was hard to be cold in his arms. There was a quiet strength in his embrace.

It felt like coming home; like it was where she was meant to be.

She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together.

"How do you do it? How do you go on?"

He inhaled slowly and pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder.

"I shut it off for nine hundred years, darling. You're asking the wrong person. All I can tell you is what I wish someone had told me."

"What's that?" She blinked slowly and turned her neck so she could look at him.

"Find something," he met her eyes, "that makes life worth living; something that makes you want to get out of bed every day."

Elena bit her bottom lip and looked down to their joined hands on her stomach. She closed her eyes and breathed in slowly.

"I… I know after what just happened that…" she swallowed and peered through her lashes, "… that this might sound… sound cruel, but…"

Kol's heart stuttered when she fell silent.

"You can't see anything right now," his slid his hand over her hip. "It's alright, darling; I get it."

He sat up and shifted as if to stand.

Elena rolled onto her back and grasped his wrist.

"I don't want to face the world yet," she pushed up onto her elbow, "but I don't want you to go."

"Careful darling, I might start to think you care," he flashed a small smile.

"Please don't go," she blinked slowly. The words she wanted to say were stuck in her throat.

He searched her weary gaze and slowly laid back down.

"Never," he swore, "I'll stay until hell freezes over."

Elena wrapped her arm around his waist and pressed her ear over his heart. Her murmured voice brought a soft smile to his lips.

"Careful, Kol. I might start to think you care."

"I do care," he slid his arm under her body to hug her closer and pressed a kiss to the top of her hair. "Maybe one day you can admit that too," his fingers danced along her spine, "but for now just find something to go on for."

Elena bolted up with a shriek when a rush of wind announced the arrival of Klaus. She clutched the sheet to her chest and tried to regulate her breathing.

"Perhaps I can help with that," Klaus made no comment about their current state of undress, "the coroner's report came back."

"Does she really need to hear the details of the drive-by?" Kol's eyes narrowed into a glare.

"Yes she does."

Elena had been prepared to tell Klaus off, but she got the sense Elijah wouldn't have stepped into the bedroom if it weren't important. Her eyes flickered from one Original to the other as Kol's hand settled on the small of her back.

"What do I have to know?"

Kol adjusted the slipping sheet and breathed slowly. He wasn't thrilled with the guests in the room, and was even less thrilled with the knowledge that the sheet was hiding absolutely nothing from his brothers who had each known an incarnation of her body. He forgot all of that when Elijah produced a folder from inside his suit jacket.

Before they could tell her what they had learned the room became even more crowded.

Elena flushed under the accusatory stares of Damon, Stefan and Bonnie; only Caroline appeared undisturbed by the scene in front of her.

"What the fuck Elena?" Damon's eyes darted to Kol. His stomach clenched when a low growl came from the youngest of the Original brothers.

"How long has this been going on?" Stefan's brows lowered.

Elena blinked slowly and shifted marginally so her back pressed farther into his warm palm. She had apologized for a lot of things since turning it back on, but she wouldn't apologize for this.

"It's new," she inhaled slowly and willed her blush to leave.

"Perhaps this conversation could wait until she's got some actual clothes on?" Rebekah drawled from the door. "Unlike the rest of you I'm not keen on a naked Petrova."

"Don't knock it till you've tried it sister," Klaus smirked.

That was the final straw for Elena. She grabbed the pillow and chucked it at Klaus' head. She would have loved to throw something heavier but reaching something that would cause physical pain would have required exposing herself to the rest of the room.

"Get out," Elena nodded to the door.

"We'll join you when we're dressed," Kol added with a slight chuckle.

Klaus looked between the couple on the bed and shrugged.

"Five minutes," he warned them.

"Or what?" Elena crossed her arms.

"He'll likely storm back in and drag you downstairs," Elijah sighed. He took his half-brother's arm and pulled him from the room.

Caroline flashed Elena a look that said 'details later' and yanked the door shut behind everyone.

Elena's eyes fell to the crumpled clothing trailing out from the bathroom and landed on black lace.

"I really hate that dress."

"Wait here," Kol pressed a kiss to her cheek, "I'll be right back." He smiled when her eyes flashed with fear and leaned closer to murmur into her ear. "Just close your eyes, love, and count to five."

Elena exhaled slowly and nodded. She felt the rush of wind with the number one, and by the time she got to five he was in front of her with a small pile of clothes.

She arched an eyebrow and pulled on the t-shirt that fell to the middle of her thighs.

"Sorry, darling," he smirked, "you packed everything up, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't like this look on you."

Elena couldn't stop the small smile that lifted the corner of her mouth. She bent to retrieve her underwear.

"I really like this look on you," he tilted his head and snickered when she straightened. The glare on her face was in severe danger of melting into a smile.

She only managed the stern look for a second before it morphed into a soft smile. She slipped into her panties and tipped her head back when he took her hips.

His teasing smile turned serious.

"Are you ready?"

"Ready or not doesn't matter," she shrugged, "Klaus will drag me out either way because apparently there's something I have to know."

He took her hand and stepped with her into the hall.

Leave a review and let me know what you think.

Who done it? Who was responsible? Answers are forthcoming in the next chapter.