Chapter 40

"Put the cheese can down. Now."

I purse my lips into a challenging pout as I rest my finger on the spray nozzle.

"Mikey…."

Leo narrows his eyes at me. I return the look as I lower the nozzle over the pumpkin pie. Why must he ruin my creative genius?

"Give me that, you numbskull." I didn't see Raph behind me but felt him as his hand slaps the back of head.

"Ow." I glare at him as he succeeds in swiping the cheese can from me.

"You are not putting cheese frosting on the pumpkin pie." Leo's bossy tone leaves no room for negotiation but I whine anyway.

"But whhhhhy? Master Splinter would love it."

"I appreciate your sentiment, Michelangelo, but let us make sure the food remains edible for our guests."

I wave my white flag of surrender in the form of a "Yes, Sensei," before my excitement shifts elsewhere. Donnie! April! I squeak like a fanboy as I pop up between the two lovebirds at the table.

"Mikey!" Donnie shouts, batting me away as April giggles, but I'm having none of that. I've waited too long for this glorious moment.

"I can't believe its official! You guys are like boyfriend and girlfriend now! This is amazing! Do you know what this means?"

"No, I don't, but you're going to tell me, aren't you?" Donnie deadpans and it's all the invitation that I need.

"Dude, you guys can cuddle and call each other cutesy nicknames; eat spaghetti together and share a noodle until you kiss… oh and kissing in the rain! You guys gotta kiss in the rain! Now you can wear the t-shirts I found in the donation bin in Chinatown: The guy shirt says 'I'm her Boo' and the girl shirt says 'I'm his Bae.'" Oh, oh! ...D, you gotta order April a heart-shaped pizza that says 'You have a pizza my heart.' ….get it? …pizza? Did I mention kissing? Because you guys should totally kiss like all the time now." I gasp loudly to catch my breath and because I have a brilliant idea. "MISTLETOE HATS. YOU BOTH NEED MISTLETOE HATS."

Before I can sprint to my room, I gag as Donnie pulls my shell in the opposite direction bringing me to an abrupt stop.

"If you put anything on April's head from your room, I will not download Death Swamp 2: The Hangman's Bungalow for you." I stand stock still. When D starts threatening my horror movie collection, I know he's not kidding around.

"Fine, but you have to at least let me name you guys."

"What do you mean?" April asks. I give a toothy smile. Why, April, I'm so glad you asked.

"I have to give your togetherness a name, you know like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie equals Bradeglina. Let's see…how about Donaprillo?...nah…Ooo! What about Apridon?...haha, nah. That sounds like Godzilla's little cousin."

"Hey, Mike, give it a rest. It's time to eat," Raph grumps as he scrubs his chair against the floor to pull up to the table.

"Don't worry, I'll think of a really good one." I wink at Donnie as I take a seat on the other side of him. He sighs but I feel a surge of warmth when he smiles and shakes his head. He acts all embarrassed but I know inside he's enjoying every minute of this bliss. I'm really happy for Donnie. Things haven't been so great lately. April's definitely a ray of sunshine in D's world, especially since the darkness in his aura has been really animated lately. Even with all the lovey-dovey feels in the air, I don't think Donnie is feeling too well. Donnie didn't take his treatment today. He told Leo that he wanted to enjoy today without the unhinging pain. Donnie makes a face, but quickly recovers when he realizes I'm staring at him. He offers me a counterfeit smile, I return it with a genuine one. Things will get better, I just know it.

As I look at my family and friends around the table, I feel super blessed to have everyone here. Everyone's auras are happy, mellow, and full of love. Casey is sitting on the other side of April, then Raph, Leo, Mr. O'Neil, and Master Splinter. Totally awesome feels flowing from everybody.

"Let us all take a moment to enjoy one another's company by saying one thing we are thankful for."

"That's a great idea, Sensei." Leo chimes in.

I agree and immediately shoot my hand in the air, waving it frantically to get Sensei's attention.

"Leonardo. Why don't you start with your thankfulness." I huff. Being the youngest is a pain sometimes.

"Sure, Sensei. Well, I'm thankful for your guidance, Sensei, and for our clan… my brothers. You guys have strength, intellect, and heart. I couldn't ask for a better team, or better brothers."

Raph sighs. "We're really doing this aren't we? Okay, fine. I'm thankful for my bros and all that jazz." Raph spares Donnie a look and it makes me wonder what inside secret they share, cause Donnie gives Raph a solid grin in return. "Yeah, and I'm thankful for idiot-Casey too."

"Nice. Thanks for the sentiment, Meathead," Casey snorts with a piano keys smile. "Casey Jones is thankful for the wicked head-bashing and bone-crushing he gets to do with you guys." I smile as Casey emphasizes by crushing an empty soda can on the table. Sensei sighs through his nostrils.

"I'm thankful for having my father back, for my ninjutsu training, and for shenanigans you guys seems to bring to my doorstep on a regular basis." April looks at Donnie, her hand resting on top of D's new armadillo arm (that's the name I call his mutated arm cause it's like a plate of armor). "And I'm thankful for new beginnings."

Donnie's good with big fancy words, but he's slow to answer when it's his turn. A squeeze from April's hands seems to be all he needs to find his words again. "I have so much to be thankful for, I don't know where to start. I... I don't think I would be around if it wasn't for everyone here. Especially you, Mr. O'Neil. Thank you for giving me a few extra weeks..."

I frown at my bro's words of remorse. This is totally not the time for that kind of stinkin' thinkin'.

"Hey, none of that gloom and doom, bro. The Hamato clan are fighters. You'll beat this." I bob my head in agreement as Raph nips the pessimism away. Donnie looks at everyone around the table, his eyes glistening with sentiment he's too choked up to say. With a watery smile his return to April and I know that's my cue.

"Oh man!" My eyes reach the ceiling with a huge smile. "My whole family's here...What's not to be thankful for? " Mr. O'Neil gives me a smile full of heart and a nod while Raph and Casey share a fist pound. "And holy chalupa, look at all this food! My mouth is watering, yo!...honey roasted turkey, green beans casserole, strawberry shortcake—" My menu rollcall is cut off by Master Splinter clearing his throat. I end my thanks with a sheepish giggle as I hand over the spotlight to Mr. O'Neil.

"Well, I must say it has been quite an eventful year for me as it no doubt has been for all of you," Mr. O'Neil says, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "You truly are an extraordinary group of individuals that our city is fortunate to have as its protectors, and I am grateful to you boys as well. Thank you for keeping my April safe."

"Dad..." April gripes but the bite isn't there as a blush reaches her cheeks.

"She has become quite the kunoichi and quite capable of protecting herself," Master Splinter picks up where Mr. O'Neil left off. "For years, my sons and I have had very few belongings, but where we lack in possessions we were heavily rich in the things that truly mattered—compassion for others, generosity, loyalty, and integrity. My family has grown," he says as he looks around the table, "yet it still holds these same principles and for that I am truly grateful." There's a moment of silence as everyone soaks in all the feel-good feels floating in the air. My stomach isn't too happy about the lengthy stillness and roars its protest. I chuckle sheepishly as everyone cuts their eyes at me. Master Splinter shakes his head at my famished belly. "Let us eat."

"So, are you guys a couple now?"

"I suppose that would be an appropriate—"

"Yeah, a couple of nerds."

"Dude, pass the peas!"

Conversations at the table are filled with fun and laughter. Everyone's enjoying everyone's company, just like I planned, and to add cool points, Donnie and April are a couple now! I glance at my brother and frown. He's definitely enjoying his current red-headed company (and I don't mean Mr. O'Neil) but something seems a bit... off. These past few weeks, Donnie has mastered the art of smiling without really smiling. He's doing it now while he's pushing his food around in his plate, pretending to eat.

"Donnie, are you sure you're okay?" Leo asks. "You haven't eaten very much."

"I'm fine, Leo... I just don't have much of an appetite." Ugh! Total bummer! I really wanted Donnie to enjoy all this delicious food, especially the pecan pie. Donnie loves pecan pie!

"Dude, get off his case. You complained when he ate everything in sight and now you complain 'cause he's not. Sheesh! At least sewer workers aren't a part of his diet anymore! Am I right?" Casey snorts at his own joke as he shovels a spoonful of mac and cheese into his mouth, totally lost to the fact that everyone's staring at him. Raphael, tries to fix Casey's thoughtlessness by kicking him under the table. "OW. What the heck, Raph?!" Casey glares at Raph but soon sees all of us staring at him. "Oh... was that joke too soon?" He rubs the back of his neck, sheepishly. "M'bad."

"Casey, you idiot. What part of 'Don't say anything about it,' didn't you understand?" Raph grits his teeth.

"I can't believe you told Casey!" The blame is strong in Leo's voice as he discreetly looks at April and Mr. O'Neil before he turns his scowl to Raph.

"I told him NOT to say anything!"

"Well, that worked out just fine."

"Dudes, what the big deal? We're all fam here. It's not like we all didn't know already."

"Know what exactly, Casey?" Mr. O'Neil asks, even though he's staring straight at Donnie.

With a clueless look, Casey blinks. And they say I'm the slow one. "About the sewer worker?..." He looks slowly at April and Mr. O'Neil's blank faces. "Oh snap, you didn't know... they didn't know, oh man." Casey swears as he holds his head between his hands.

"The sewer worker that was slaughtered down here..." Mr. O'Neil's aura shifts from confusion to comprehension to slow burning anger in seconds. This cannot be good. "You... you killed him?" He stares sternly at Donnie though his question feels more like an allegation. He looks at my brothers, father, and me like we're predators ready to attack as he slowly pushes away from the table.

"Wait!" Donnie pleas as he stands, which only makes Mr. O'Neil shrink back defensively from across the table. "I... I..." Donnie's skin lightens to a pale yellow as his hand covers his stomach. He gags as his other hand automatically covers his mouth. Whatever he was going to say is forgotten as he dashes to the bathroom.

"D!" I'm not far behind him as he turns the corner and starts retching.

This is not how I wished Mr. O'Neil and April to find out about Donatello but what has happened has happened and there is no turning back now.

"I don't believe this." My keen hearing picks up Mr. O'Neil's whispered words.

"I know this is a lot to take in. I had every intention of telling you today, just not in this particular manner. It was never my intent to deceive you or April, but it was a necessary evil at the time to ensure—"

"A necessary evil? You tricked me! ...All of you, nothing but liars! You're horrible people." His voice is seething with anger and betrayal.

"Dad!" April chastises, standing at the same time as her father.

I calmly follow suit and stand as well, placing my hands in front of me hoping to defuse the situation. "Now is not the time for harsh words. It is the time for understanding."

"No! I tried to understand as a father and you took advantage of that by lying to me about what Donatello really is."

"What do you mean what he really is?" I am trying to hold my composure in front of my children, but April's father is quickly approaching a line that should not be crossed.

"He's dangerous! You claim to protect this city, but are you really? Where's your honor, Hamato?"

My fur bristles as I try not to show my canines with a sneer. "Where it has always been—with my family, and April is not excluded from this title. I would never put her in immediate danger, I only—"

"He slaughtered an innocent man! If that doesn't spell danger then I don't know what does! How many other occasions have you put my daughter in harm's way with your ninja agendas and monster chases?"

"How soon you forget that you were once one of the monsters we chased!"

"And did you forget it was your sons' fault that I was turned into monster to begin with?!"

The truth in his words give me pause, enough pause for Kirby to walk past me and grab his daughter from the table.

"Come on, April." As he tugs for her to follow, I look around to see Leonardo, Raphael, and Casey standing around the table with equally broken expressions upon their faces.

"No!"

"April!" I watch as the young lady that I have grown to love as my own daughter slips from her father's grasp and runs into the bathroom. Both Mr. O'Neil and I arrive at the bathroom doorway together. The sight tears my heart in more ways than one.

My sick son is on floor between Michelangelo and April. My youngest and most nurturing son rubs circles against Donatello's shell as April cups his face shushing his pleas for forgiveness. To see my much taller son hunched between them shaking from grief and sickness shatters me.

"April, let's go. Now."

"Dad, no. Don't do this. Can you see how sick he is?"

"April, now!" My ears flatten at Kirby's sudden outburst of anger and fear. I can see the defiance in April's eyes as fiery as her crimson hair, but I will not allow it.

"April, do as your father says."

"But Master Splinter, it's not—"

"It is alright."

"No, it's not! It's—" She pauses for the only thing strong enough to tame her livid tongue as Donatello's hand rests on her thigh.

"April, go. I'll be okay." He gives April the same smile he has given us the past week when it is obvious he is not okay.

Her countenance softens. She kisses him softly on the cheek and if it were not for my sharp hearing I would have missed the whispered declaration of affection spoken to Donatello.

Their separation is hesitant as April stands and their fingers drift apart. She does not obey her father immediately, not until she crashes against me in a hug. She apologizes. I stroke the top of head. She has nothing to apologize for. I can smell her father's rage as jealousy coils around it. I push April gently by the shoulders and give her a pointed look. Now is not the time for teenage rebellion. She nods with silent understanding before stalking past her father toward the entrance of our humble home. Her father wastes no second glances as he walks swiftly to match his daughter's pace.

My attention is quickly pulled to the raised voices Raphael and Casey. However, before I can intercede in the argument, my eldest steps in.

"Guys, arguing about what happened is pointless now. We just have to deal with it. Donnie's our first priority right now." I don't have time to dwell on the sense of pride I feel for my eldest son because he is right, Donatello comes first.

Returning to the bathroom, I find my second youngest retching over the toilet again. Michelangelo continues to rub his shell. When his stomach seems to settle, I wrap his arm across my back and Michelangelo does the same as we both heft Donatello to his feet. I place my hand over his plastron to stabilize him.

"I knew he shouldn't have skipped his treatment today. Raph, come help me set up the—"

"Don't bother."

"What?" Leonardo expresses his confusion at Donatello's refusal along with the rest of us.

"It's not…. working so don't bother." Michelangelo and I tighten our hold as Donatello's knees buckle between us.

"What do you mean it's not working? Of course it's working! You haven't had any more mutations so it has to be working."

"Leonardo, be silent and allow Donatello to explain," I chastise my oldest son. I understand his worry and have carried the same worry for weeks, but Donatello holds the explanations we currently need whether they ease our worries or accelerate them.

"It's true; the treatments have stopped future mutations or at least paused them momentarily. Unfortunately, that's all the treatments have done." As Donatello speaks, Michelangelo and I guide him to his room where we ease him onto his bed. "The mutagen radiation has already changed my body on a cellular level. The mutagen cells have permanently bonded to my DNA."

We are all gathered in Donatello's room now, each of us processing the weight of this current situation.

"When exactly were you gonna tell us this, Brianiac?" Raphael, as usual, is processing this new information rather boisterously.

"It's not like I was trying to hide it, Raph. I wasn't one hundred percent sure until a couple of days ago. I was actually going to talk to Mr. O'Neil about it to see what his thoughts were…. you know, before everything went horribly wrong."

"Where is Mr. Jones?" I inquire when I realize our rambunctious guest is not present.

"I sent him home." Raphael answers curtly, crossing his arms. He is obviously still heated by his friend's outburst. As easy as it would be to blame the human teenage boy for the misfortunes of this evening, it would not be fairly placed when in fact it was my decision to keep Mr. O'Neil in the dark about Donatello's morbid deed.

"If the treatments aren't working, then what's plan B?"

"I don't have a plan B, Leo."

"Dude, you always have a plan B! You just need some time to think, right, D?" Michelangelo is optimistic as am I attempting to be at the moment.

"Donatello, surely there is something else that Mr. O'Neil has shared with you that could be of use." I nudge him with my words, hoping to trigger a dormant idea in my genius son's mind.

"Actually, Mr. O'Neil has been pretty vague the past few days about any possible solutions. I… I think he was coming to the same conclusion that I have.

"And what exactly do you conclude, my son?"

"At the rate this mutagen radiation is overpowering my cells, my major organs will start to fail in the next week or so. I'll more than likely slip into a coma before I stop breathing all together." The sobered tone in which Donatello speaks tells me he has given this conclusion more thought than a teenage boy should give to the longevity of their life. "There's still the possibility of a secondary mutation. After combining Mr. O'Neil's examination notes and my personal notes, I hypothesize the full mutation will be very predatory and carnivorous in nature."

"So you're either going to continue getting sick or you're going to mutate again?" Leo condenses his brother's words.

"That's the sum of it."

A heavy silence befalls the room as the severity of Donatello's illness weighs on each of us. My ears flatten in frustration. There must be something else, another way. "There has been much to be bitter about today, but there are still many things to be thankful for. We are here…. all of us." I gaze at Donatello with an up-curved lip, but he hesitates to return my smile. "Now more than ever, we must be strong for one another and fill our hearts with hope despite the darkness that surrounds us." When they nod in agreement, I send Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo to clean the kitchen of our ruined festivities as I remain with Donatello.

"Master Splinter, I appreciate your optimism but there's a 95.6% chance that I'll mutate or die while mutating." The bright sincerity in his brown eyes make him look much younger than his sixteen years, but his words hold the sage tone of one much older. "The latter is more favorable." He begins to spout off mutation ratios and other numerical data that are far above my scientific knowledge. His words of doubt and pessimism suffocate my aura, clouding my spirit.

"Silence!" I close my eyes in frustration as my whiskers twitch at his bold proclamation. "I will hear no more of this." It is my job to protect my sons and he thinks wishing his own death is an acceptable request. Taking a calming breath, I open my eyes to see he has inched away from me. His composure changes in a matter of seconds as his sudden movement takes me by surprise as he makes a beeline for his bookshelf.

"I'm sorry. I said too much. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just how science works, Sensei. It's not subjective, just cold hard facts. And the fact is, this poison is going to either kill me or mutate me into something dangerous." His voice is soft, full of the gentleness I have always known my son to possess. "Did you know the mutation of my feet are similar to the foot anatomy of passerines?" I blink at him. "Birds. Like sparrows and finches. They have three toes directed forward and one directed backward."

My brows relax as I sigh through my snout. I watch as he rearranges the same row of books twice before I rest my hand upon his fidgety ones. He is just as afraid for his life as I am though he tries to mask it with knowledge and his obsessive peculiarities. My genius son loves facts and knowledge. He lives them, breathes them in like the air around him. However, he also hides behind them when he is frightened.

His hands tremble under my touch.

"I just need to—" I remove his nervous hands from the shelf and turn him to face me with gentle tug.

"You are afraid." The truth in my words finally stills my restless son as he meets my eyes. "It is all right to be afraid, but you must not let it overwhelm you. Have not your brothers and I stood by your side in this troubled time?" He swallows, his emotions threatening to spill over as he nods. "This obstacle is no different. You will not face this alone."

"I don't know what to do, Sensei." The quiet resolve in his voice nearly breaks me, but I must still my tidal wave of fear to be the rock Donatello desperately needs right now.

"For now you will rest. Today has delivered enough worries. Let us not dwell prematurely on tomorrow." Whatever objection is on my son's lips dies quickly as I firmly push his shell in the direction of his bed. "Rest." Once he has settled under the blanket, I rub my thumb across his forehead and offer a smile of reassurance despite the turbulence of doubt wreaking havoc in my spirit.

"Sensei…" My ears twitch at the timid tone of my son just before I exit his room.

"Yes, Donatello?"

"Could you…. could you stay? ...Just until I fall asleep? The whispers aren't so loud when someone's with me." I try not to show my worry for the dark voice that has become more prominent in my son's mind.

"You need nothing more than to ask." Placing his desk chair at his bedside, I nimbly pluck A Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea from his bookshelf, one of his favorites as a child. I read from the weathered book until he snores softly beside me, but I do not leave his room. I stay a little longer, taking in my son's exhausted expression even as he sleeps. I stare at the surreal form of his mutated arm as it dangles over the edge of the bed. I consider his conclusive words to us earlier and wonder just how much more he will mutate. His physical state is something I can help him adapt to with proper training. However, I am most worried about the state of his mind. I was not there weeks ago when he first went into a primal state in the sewers. His brothers saw it when they found him. I have only seen glimpses of it during training or when he is startled, but we have all seen this beast… this darkness that still resides in Donatello. In the spiritual realm, this evil nearly consumed my son and I am most certain now that it is indeed connected to the mutagen radiation he was exposed to months ago.

I lift the heavy appendage back to its proper place on the bed. Donatello mumbles something incoherent as his brow furrows and the side of his taloned thumb finds his mouth. He has not resorted to putting parts of his hand in his mouth since he was a child. This only confirms how frightened he is of his impending future. A light tug is enough to pull his hand from his mouth. With a small sigh, I close my eyes to clear my thoughts with meditation. I will not give up on my son.

TBC

A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Remember to leave a review, I always like to hear your thoughts and speculations as this story progresses.

Until next chapter,

Poetique