Disclaimer: I only own the idea, J.K. Rowling owns the rest
February
There were those who claimed Jeffrey Rodgers got his scar from a secret pet dragon—a long swipe cutting deep into his chin. Others said they heard it was a dare: a werewolf attack in the Forbidden Forest one night. Most assumed it was simply collateral from living in the same dormitory as the Marauders for so many years.
The fact remained that one day back in his third year Jeffrey was unscarred, and the next it appeared as if it had always been there.
It made him look daring and dangerous, Lily had overheard Jessie telling Margaret once. Proof that he's a real Gryffindor. Not many could say they had scars that not even magic could undo.
Fortunately for Lily, it also made him easy to spot from a distance.
"Rodgers!" she called across the mad rush of students trying to find the fastest route to their first class. Bodies poured out from the Great Hall, attempting to all squeeze through one doorway, into one hallway.
Lily pushed past a young looking group of Slytherins and hopped over the missing stone in the floor. The staircase ahead of her started shuddering. She cursed. Jeffrey was already climbing halfway up.
"Lily? What on earth are you doing?" She barely spared a glance back to catch Margaret's eye.
"Rodgers!" Lily called again, one final sprint to him. He turned his head and caught her eye, quite confused, but made no move to meet her halfway. He stood beside a Ravenclaw Lily took to be the mysterious Connor Greenwich.
"Evans?" But before she could catch up, the edge of the staircase pulled away from the hall and warded off to prevent students from leaping wildly across as Lily desperately wished she could.
"Bullocks." Now she had to find a new way to Charms as well.
"Lily, what's going on?" Margaret had caught up to her, Jessie and Serena by her side.
She shook her head. "Nothing. Just had a question for him, that's all."
"That required you to running screaming after him like a crazy person?" Jessie asked skeptically.
"Well it was on the Charms homework," said Lily. Margaret sighed, as though Lily were an exhausting presence just to be associated with. But neither protested when Lily joined the three on their walk to Flitwick's classroom.
"Listen, Lily," Margaret began as she took the seat beside her. But Lily was too busy rummaging through her bag to hear her. That or she just didn't bother. She had more important things on her mind after all.
She pushed through and continued. "I'm getting a little worried about you. Well, we all are, really. You're getting a little… obsessive about this whole drama thing. It doesn't matter all that much."
Inwardly, Lily rolled her eyes. The problem was that Margaret had only known her during holidays. Lily was an obsessive person. And Margaret had very little knowledge on what mattered to Lily and what didn't.
"You're right." She looked up from her papers. "I'll put it behind me." Her voice too sickly sweet for anyone to truly believe her. Not that this made much of an impression as their papers began to fly to the front of the classroom.
"Today we'll be building on your knowledge of fire and heating spells to learn a charm that more reliably warms the body. This spell should be used with caution, however," Professor Flitwick warned. "Too warm and you'll burn yourself. The incantation is calidarius."
Lily was not alone in lifting her wand, but Professor Flitwick threw his hands in the air to stop them. His arms would not reach over the shortest student's head, but his intention was received.
"Practice this spell nonverbally! Your practical exams at the end of this year will be entirely nonverbal. You should be practicing from the start."
Groans filled their classroom all the way to the high ceiling. Nonverbal spells required an intense amount of focus. Lily's head was entirely too cluttered to handle that at the moment.
Professor Flitwick began handing out mugs of water for students to heat up. Within seconds, Lily saw Wiley O'Flynn's mug boil over. This was not as terrible as Mary's attempt which ended in a mug of solid ice. Both seemed to be muttering the words under their breath.
Mispronunciation in Charms nearly always ended disastrously, so Lily did not even both trying to cheat. She'd much rather fail at a spell then lose both her eyebrows.
She repeated the incantation over and over in her head before even lifting her hand. Next to her Margaret did the same. Only out loud.
Warmth. When was the last time she had felt true warmth? She supposed it had that night over winter break, reading a novel with a large mug of tea in her hand. But then the window had been left open. And the castle was always a bit drafty.
The problem was that Lily felt so cold all the time these days, like the strange emptiness that kept creeping in whenever she was left alone. So she started to think about the opposite feeling, the one that existed before she left the room. Or was left behind.
And instantly that memory of James in the common room popped into her head. The fire still cackling and the dark maroon hiding in the shadows. But it was the common room. Of course it felt like that. And this was pointless.
True warmth was Hagrid's cabin. The roaring fire and his wide smile. She nearly always started sweating the moment she stepped in.
Calidarius. The word filled her mind so completely it blocked nearly everything else out. Except for the feeling of Hagrid's flicked and jabbed her wand. Lily did not often doubt her abilities, but casting the spell nonverbally on her first try did not appear very high on her list of expectations.
Steam rose languidly up from the mug. The wonder that still came from performing magic shot through her. It was like her skin was sparkling with pride and amazement.
"How did you do that?" Margaret asked as she jabbed her wand so sharply it nearly toppled the mug over.
Lily shrugged. "You just have to feel it."
Lily shivered. Even underneath her large winter cloak and knitted hat. Even with the heating charms cast sporadically across the field. Only that Ministry Official seemed at all comfortable in the squishy grassy where snow had been melted away.
"Let's discuss the three D's," he began. She rubbed her hands together furiously as he continued to explain. The warmth leaked out of her just as fast as she generated it. She did not dare cast the heating charm they'd learned in Charms last week in front of the Ministry. With her luck, she'd be accused to starting a duel just for pulling out her wand.
Her eyes scanned the crowd of sixth years. To her surprise, she noticed Everett Collins standing by the back with some Slytherins. His short dark hair towered over most other students and stuck out wherever he went. He was also a seventh year taking the course a year late.
Lily turned to mention it to Margaret and Jessie when another figure in their group caught her eye. One with dark skin and a long scar across his face.
"What is Jeffrey Rodgers doing over there with that group of Slytherins?" she asked them without looking away. She missed the look Margaret gave Jessie.
"It's none of your business, Lily. It doesn't matter."
"I was just curious." Whitney appeared and pulled Jeffrey to the edge of the group. They were too far away for Lily to make out any of their expressions. Or read their lips, if she had that ability.
"Well leave it alone." Margaret's voice was unexpectedly sharp.
"Why does it bother you so much?"
"It's all you talk about these days, that's all." If Lily were truly a cruel person, she would inform Margaret that she was no better by always talking about Sean. "We just thought you were over it by now."
"What are you whispering about so secretively over here?" James materialized by her shoulder so suddenly that for a moment Lily thought he must've mastered apparition in just five minutes.
"None of your business."
"Because it sounds like you're being nosy about Rodgers."
"What does that have to do with you?"
"Just looking out for my dorm mate, that's all."
"It's just gossip. I doubt you'd be interested," she brushed him off.
"Try me."
"Rodgers and Travers are having a clandestine relationship. But she says they're just old family friends."
"Bullshit."
"What?"
"They are not old family friends. They're not old anything. They haven't spoken before this year." Another lie, Lily thought. And so the plot thickens.
"And how would you know that, exactly?" If Whitney was lying, which frankly didn't surprise Lily, then they must have some other connection. One more sinister by the looks of this cover up. Or Lily was just being dramatic as usual.
"None of your business," he retorted. It occurred to her that James would have a lot more information on the situation than she did. He lived with Jeffrey, and his family knew Whitney's.
Lily sighed. "Just stay out of this, Potter. And leave me alone."
He was silent for a moment, and Lily, a little naively, thought she might finally be done with him.
"All right. I'll do it."
"You'll leave then?"
"No. I'll help you. You obviously need it."
"Go away, Potter." And Lily moved herself, trying to find where Margaret had disappeared to as she had been talking to James.
"I've got something that you want," he tried again.
"I can find out what you know from other people."
"From what I've heard from Remus, you're not very good at that. But anyway, I've got something better. You won't be able to find your answers without it."
She narrowed her eyes. "What is it?"
"Can't tell you that. You'll just have to trust me. You need my help."
She weighed the pros and cons. More time in the presence of James Potter might very well exhaust all her energy to accomplish anything. But at the same time what was once a simply question had somehow unraveled into a very complicated mystery that she could not untangle on her own.
"Fine. You can help. Now what is it?"
"Hold on. You need my help, but how do I know if I need your help? I think I'll just take over from here."
Her eyes burned and she clenched her fists. If she had the guts she might just punch him. She was pretty sure she did.
"Are you—"
"Unless, of course," he interrupted her quickly, eyeing the fist that could so easily smash into his face. "Unless you show me you're worth my time."
"Forget it. You're not worth my time."
"Find out how Jeffrey got his scar," he blurted out before she could walk away. "Figure that out and we can help each other."
"What does that have to do with anything?" The anger boiling up washed away with bewilderedness.
"It doesn't. But if you're as good as you claim to be, and as serious as you say, then it shouldn't be too hard. And if you can be trusted with that information then I know I can trust you."
She searched his eyes, but something told her he wasn't joking anymore. And something about the idea of being on equal terms appealed to her. Enough, at least, for her to stick out her hand awkwardly.
"Deal." He laughed, both at her hand and her seriousness. But he grasped her hand and shook it once.
"Deal."
The letter came first thing Tuesday morning. The school owl did not even rest to drop it off, merely letting it float down into Lily's lap. She recognized the distinctive tight scrawl and the more symbolic than necessary stamp in the upper right corner. Her mother.
She opened the sticky seal and read it over in one hand as she ate her oatmeal.
Dear Lily,
It's good to hear from you again. I was surprised to find your letter waiting for us at the new house, but I suppose that's one of the many wonderful benefits of magic. I'll never get used to it.
We've been absolutely drowning in boxes for the past few days. Petunia stayed over last weekend to help us sort everything out, which was very kind of her. She's been so busy lately at the office I hear from her about as often as I hear from you. It was nice to pretend not to be an empty nester for the weekend.
I hope your studies are going well. Will you explain that Transfiguring concept to me again? I was telling Petunia about it last night but I couldn't quite remember exactly. Your dad was no help of course. He's still too fascinated by those Charms. Ones that can fix and clean and do just about anything. Nearly bored poor Tuney to tears with his rambling. You know how he goes on and on when he's excited about something.
It was so nice to have the house full again. If you can sneak away from homework long enough over Easter break we'd love to have you over. I know you usually don't have the time in this part of the year, but it's been so long now and we really miss you, love.
On a slightly more serious note, I do have some bad news today. I know you've said that you don't see much of Severus these days, so I assume that you haven't heard, but his mother was admitted to the hospital last week.
You know we don't talk with their family much, but Betty has taken to checking in on Eileen every now and then and found out where she was. Tobias must have taken her in, but we really don't know what happened.
I'm not even sure if Severus knows. He doesn't get nearly as many letters as you do. Even if you two aren't on great terms, I'm sure he could use a friend right now.
That's all. Not trying to pry into your personal life. I know we made that deal: good grades and clean record in school equals a degree of privacy. We trust you.
Miss you loads. Can't wait to hear back from you!
Love,
Mum
Pushing down the guilt as her supposedly "clean record"—all hopes of which had vanished the day Professor Griffiths arrived at Hogwarts—Lily carefully refolded the letter and placed it back in the envelope. As if she had never opened it.
Now was not the time unpack everything in that letter. Now was not the time to give in to her pity and reexamine her friendship with Snape. Lily knew she owed it to Severus to at least let him know if he didn't already. But even that conversation required extreme preparation.
The chatter of the Great Hall had steadily increased to a bleary, early morning roar as students filtered in in the half hour before morning classes. Lily took this as her cue to exit.
Having no desire to sit alone in Potions until class, Lily stopped by the library as she had every morning that week. Extra time to research griffins.
She unrolled her parchment of notes: "Like sphinxes (see page 39), griffins are often employed by wizards to guard treasure." But what kind of treasure?
Well, Lily reasoned, as Hagrid trained him, he was being kept in the Forbidden Forest. Logically, he would only be trained in the environment he would be expected to work in. She couldn't see much point in training him outdoors only to throw him in the dungeons at the last moment.
It stood to reason, then, this treasure must be in the Forbidden Forest. Unfortunately, Lily did not have much experience with the forest, given its designation.
Even more unfortunately, the first person who came to mind that knew the forest quite extensively was not someone she was currently on speaking terms with. At least until she completed his stupid task of merit.
She let out a huff of frustration, slamming the quill on the table.
"Careful there." Red hair fanned out with her spinning head.
"Don't you have Potions right now?" Lily had not spoken to Margaret in what seemed like weeks but in reality, was only since apparition lessons last weekend, aside from an occasional "hello" in the bathroom.
"Don't you have Potions right now?" She smirked and leaned against the edge of the table. "Just came by to collect you, girly."
Lily obediently rerolled her parchment, mostly so that Margaret wouldn't ask questions. Something about the extracurricular projects Lily liked to involve herself in did not really translate into a normal life it seemed.
She shoved a few stray papers and quills back in her bag as Margaret steered her towards the door, power walking to get them to the nearest staircase before it moved. As her head bent down closer to her bag, searching for her wand amid the tangled mess of textbooks and parchment, a large body collided directly into hers.
Lily glanced up, startled. "Oh! Sorry, Potter. Didn't see you there."
"Now that's no way to cheat hints out of me, Evans." He winked, and Lily frowned, not sure why everything about him managed to irritate her so easily. As if she were actually trying to get hints out of him. As if she needed to!
"What in Merlin's name was that about?" asked Margaret, bewildered.
"You ask as if I understand what happens in my life any more than you do."
Margaret laughed. "You sure are a mystery, girly. You ready to sprint to the stairwell?"
"Race you!" she answered with a grin, and took off.
With James' challenge in mind, Lily stalked Jeffrey with a new vengeance. The Great Hall, the Gryffindor common room, that one staircase from Charms to Transfiguration. He had gotten incredibly good at avoiding her.
Even worse, she never seemed to spot his friend Connor until they were by each other's sides. Something about that boy was so utterly forgettable that he never seemed to exist until the very moment she couldn't talk to him.
Rather than seem impossible, this task was starting to feel unimportant. Lily had more interesting things to think about and more urgent work to do. And she was starting to doubt the necessity of James in this particular mystery.
It wasn't until she was deep in a forgotten corner of the library buried in Transfiguration notes that she heard his voice through the bookcases. Evidently, he also knew the best places in the castle to hide.
"Have you heard anything new?" His voice was muffled through the thick stacks of books, and Lily couldn't make out his companion's voice at all.
"That's it?" he growled. Lily gathered that whatever the quiet response had been it had not been good. Slowly, she slid a book from the shelf in hopes of finding a gap between books on both sides.
"She won't leave me alone." Lily wondered if he meant her or Whitney or if a third girl was causing trouble for Jeffrey these days. She eased another book off the shelf only to be meet with the continuous solid wall of pages.
He said something else, but lower and beyond her hearing. She tried a different shelf and another two books.
A sliver of light poked through. Finally.
Lily caught sight of the edge of a dark cloak. The bottom of a Gryffindor tie. A dark hand lazily tucked into a pocket. Without a doubt, Jeffrey Rodgers.
As for his friend, she could only make out a mass of black robes. They swayed as whoever it was began pacing, managing to remain out of view. The gap in the shelf did improve the sound quality, at least. Lily leaned in and tilted her ear towards them.
"Fine. We'll both 'do better' then." Jeffrey paused, then sighed. "I'm sorry. Really, I am. I know what this means for you." More light murmuring from Mystery Person. Nothing distinct.
Lily pulled back from the shelf to look around again. Mystery Person stopped the pacing and plopped down in the chair beside Jeffrey. And that's when Lily caught a glance of the silvery blonde hair that could only belong to Whitney Travers.
Lily had half convinced herself that Jeffrey must be talking to some shadowy villain character, which didn't not fit Whitney but was definitely not the cruel evil mastermind she had pictured. At the very least she imagined it might be soft-spoken Connor.
But instead Jeffrey was having more clandestine meetings with Whitney in the back of the library. Arguing about something. None of the partial half conversation she had overheard made any sense even with this context.
And with that came the sickening realization that she did need Potter for this, if only to have someone to bounce ideas off of. She was entering a very tangled mess, fraught with history she was oblivious to, and had no hope of satisfying her curiosity on her own.
Whitney was talking again; her voice still so quiet Lily couldn't even catch the tone much less a word or two. She risked wiggling out another book and thinning the distance between them.
But Lily could already tell it wouldn't be enough. She reached for another from the other side of the whole with her left hand. Of course, Lily, for all her love of library books, did not exercise her arms very much or attempt to carry very many at a time, knowing her limits. Thus, her fairly week arms were not very equipped to handle the weight of two quite large textbooks on the advanced theory of Transfiguration.
They slid right out of her hands and onto the floor in two distinct thumps. Lily dropped down with such speed they may as well have dragged her down with them. She didn't dare raise her head and let them see her distinctive hair.
"This is not the place to have this conversation." On the upside, Lily could hear Whitney's voice now. Not that she was about to talk much more.
Lily waited a full five minutes after their footsteps dissipated to replace the books and return to the desk. Transfiguration homework seemed even less appealing than before, if that was possible.
She dug through her bag for her paper on Jeffrey. Mostly scribbled with half streams of consciousness and no real facts so far. But good enough to jot down notes on what she had just heard. Just because it meant nothing to her now didn't mean it couldn't be vital to her soon.
And now Lily had to go track down Connor's schedule and find a way to interrogate him about Jeffrey's unrelated scar just to satisfy James. The bastard.
One thing could be learned from this encounter though. Lily would never be having another important conversation in the library again. Not when the book stacks were that easy to listen through.
Their next apparition lesson fell on an unusually balmy day for February, and Lily found that her usual attire of five layers and a hat was enough to keep away the chill.
The good weather seemed to put everyone into good spirits, and there were much more successes that day. Not for Lily. The shock of losing a limb didn't mean much to her when it was the fourth time it had happened in the last hour.
Destination, Determination, and Deliberation. What was wrong with her today?
Margaret voiced just that a moment later. "You've been off all week. What's going on with you, girly?"
Lily grimaced and raised her hand for the splinching potion. Trapped by her missing foot, she could not escape Margaret's further questions.
"Nothing just stressed." She stretched her arm a little higher, but the Ministry Official this week seemed entirely preoccupied with Rachel's missing eyes. Ridiculous.
"Well I know it's not about schoolwork because we've practically had the week off. And you're at least a month ahead on studying regardless. So, what's up?"
Lily sighed. Her reputation really put a damper on work related stressors. "Just family stuff. Doesn't matter."
Margaret gave her a look that was borderline patronizing. "And friends are supposed to be here for that kind of stuff. Even if it doesn't matter." Lily gritted her teeth. Margaret was absolutely right, and she kind of hated her for it.
"Well, do you remember—" she began just as the still nameless Ministry Official came by.
"Where do you need it, dear?" she interrupted brusquely, clearly in a hurry to get around to the many other students in various states of disembodiment. Lily pointed at her left foot sitting six feet from the golden ring she stood in. The woman nodded and retrieved it, showing off her own impeccable apparition skills. Moments later, Lily's limb was reattached and fully functional.
She gave it a few sample rolls while Margaret waited expectantly for the rest of her response. Instead, Lily caught the sight of a boy with coarse blonde hair and terrible posture.
"Is that Connor Greenwich over there?"
Margaret blinked twice, entirely thrown off. "Maybe? What do you want with Greenwich though?"
"Just need to bother him with a quick question."
"But—is he even in our year? Isn't he a Hufflepuff?" But Lily was already moving towards him.
"Connor?" She hadn't quite reached him yet, but he was eyeing her with a look of fear that made her worry he was ready to bolt before she had the chance to question him. "Connor Greenwich?"
He nodded hesitantly, looking around for some sort of backup. But he stood alone, everyone else thoroughly engrossed in their practice. Something made much easier by the good weather and high success rate of the morning.
"Lily Evans," she thrust out her hand. His handshake was not firm and not confident, but it was more than she expected from him. "I figured we've been in classes long enough to warrant a proper introduction." She grinned. Subtle, Lily. Think subtle. That's how you get answers.
"Listen, Evans. I know what you're trying to do. Jeff told me everything. You've really gotta leave him alone."
Her eyes widened almost comically. She made a note to herself to take some acting classes over the summer. "No, no, no! Not at all what I was coming over here about, I swear!
"Then what is it?" he asked flatly.
"You take Arithmancy, right?"
"I mean, I started a year behind you, but yeah."
"Great. I need a tutor and—"
He sighed. "Lily, we both know you don't need a tutor, and if you did I wouldn't be much help anyway. What do you want?" Lily took a brief moment to curse Ravenclaws for being blessed with cleverness, something she clearly lacked.
That Ministry oOfficial was going around breaking up chatty groups to get more practice going. Lily could easily use that as her out and come up with a new plan of attack. But she was tired of giving up and she wanted answers. Maybe she lacked cleverness, but at least she'd always be absolutely shameless.
"Here's the thing. Your friend, Jeff, has this pretty iconic scar and I would really appreciate it if you could just tell me how he got it. I get that he wants to remain all mysterious and what not, but I won't spread it around or anything. I just need to know."
This was clearly not what Connor expected her to say. His brow furrowed and Lily could swear he was considering honoring her request. Or maybe that was preemptively optimistic of her to assume.
"Popularity is not the reason he keeps that a secret," Connor said. Though she didn't know him well, Lily had never seen the boy this passionate about anything before. She seemed to have struck a nerve she didn't even know was there.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. But is there any way you could tell me?" She would've gotten on her knees to beg if she wasn't positive that Potter was watching her from a distance. And laughing at her weak attempts.
"I don't know. He never told me." Lily doubted that. If James Potter of all people had been granted the honor, she knew Jeffrey's best friend had. But he was apparently loyal to a fault and wouldn't give the secret up. She should've known it would not be that easy.
"But do you know when he got it at least?" She might as well get whatever she could out of this conversation.
He didn't answer for a long time. Lily was almost ready to give up and walk away, not about to withstand the silent treatment for the rest of the hour, when he finally looked back up at her.
"It was our third year. In the spring. We had just learned glamours in Charms, and I was better at them than he was so he had me glamour it until it was completely healed. No injury. Just a scar that appeared one day at the end of the year."
With a thin smile and a look of guilt, Connor walked six feet away from her and raised his wand, eyes closed in concentration, to signal the end of their conversation. He waited to apparate again until she had returned across the field to rejoin Margaret.
"Are you gonna explain what that was all about?" Lily shook her head and raised her own wand—Destination, Determination, and Deliberation—and reappeared, a whole person, in the center of the gold hoop.
"He just told you the secret to apparition, didn't he?"
Lily grinned, despite herself. She was making progress. "A magician never reveals her secrets."
"Did you really bring homework to a Quidditch game?"
"Do you not remember that game back in second year that lasted eight hours? I know you're not about to let me leave after the first hour, so I brought something to work on."
Margaret scoffed. "Well of course you can't just leave. The game could end at any moment and you'd miss it! That's what makes the game so exciting!" Lily would've rolled her eyes if only Margaret's enthusiasm wasn't so catching. And she had to admit that there was so much to watch in a Quidditch game.
"Fine. I'll wait until at least the two-hour mark to pull out a book."
She shook her head at Lily. "You sure are an odd one."
"Place any bets, Royer?" Sirius Black invited himself to the seat next to Lily and leaned over her to talk to Margaret.
"Oh, I don't waste my time on the other teams. I save my gold for Gryffindor." Sirius Black had a very loud laugh. It boomed in Lily's ear.
"She's a keeper, Evans." She swatted him away.
"Go find your own friends, Black."
"They're just putting money down on our bets while I save us the best seats. Don't worry, they'll join us soon." Sometimes, Lily hated that Gryffindors tended to flock together for Quidditch games. And that these idiots were in Gryffindor with her.
She let Black busy himself with badgering Anthony for some sweets and turned back to Margaret.
"Looks like we're finally ready to get this match started!" Des Farley's magically amplified voice echoed through the stadium, a sixth year Gryffindor announcing this weekend's game. She usually had to fight Sebastian Clark for the honor, and she usually won.
"So, what were you about to say this morning? At the apparition lesson?" Lily wished there was a polite way of ignoring someone sitting only six inches from you.
"And Ravenclaw takes possession to start—Sarah Yep speeding towards the goal posts"
"Oh, it wasn't important."
"Yeah. It was. I asked you about your family. You should tell me these things, Lily." She really shouldn't. It's not like she knew Margaret that well. She just happened to talk about her personal life quite freely compared to most people. She also happened to like most people.
But this did not seem like something she could get out of that easily. And contrary to her own life experience, Lily did not go out of her way to burn bridges.
"Ouch! A well placed bludger by Slytherin's Kenzie Burke gives Slytherin back possession."
"This isn't really the place, Margaret."
"Sure it is. Jessie won't get here for at least another hour cause she has to finish that Potions essay that was due yesterday. And it's not like Black over there is listening to anything we have to say. He's about to leave soon anyway. It's loud here. Everyone's watching the game."
"Parkinson racing towards the goal posts—"
Lily must have made some sort of negative face because Margaret sighed dramatically. "Merlin, it's like pulling teeth with you."
"A quick pass back to Slytherin chaser Jenna Fawley—"
Lily's eyes flashed. "Fine. You want to know what's wrong? Snape's mother is in the hospital and he doesn't know yet and I have to find some way to tell him when we haven't spoken in almost two years."
Margaret fell silent. The rest of the stadium, however, roared, standing up arms raised as Slytherin nearly scored on the left goal post.
"That creepy Slytherin you used to be friends with?" Lily nodded, her anger fading as quickly as it had bloomed in her.
"Ravenclaw has called a time out! Looks like Seeker Jason Matte was injured in that last foul."
"Please don't tell me you two are supporting Slytherin today." James Potter and co. had arrived, arms piled high with snacks. They settled easily into the seats right in front of Lily and Margaret, and Sirius hopped over the row to join them.
"That's not what we were talking about," said Lily coldly, both because this topic always put her in a bad mood and because she and Potter were still ignoring her. Or at least she had assumed so.
"We're not talking about the Slytherin team. Just one in particular." Lily cut her off with a sharp look. This really was not the time. Or the company.
"And what Slytherins do you two know in particular?" James narrowed his eyes, and Lily could guess exactly what was going through his mind.
"Collins' complete inability to apparate this morning." Her tone was light, but she eyed him carefully, daring him to challenge her.
"It was kind of embarrassing, wasn't it?"
"You'd think he'd have more practice, being of age for months now and all."
This was usually when either Margaret or Sirius stepped in to redirect them, but neither were quite sure of what to do when they were entirely in agreement rather than arguing. While still fighting each other from entirely opposite sides. All cold stares and tight voices.
"And the game's back on!" Des's booming voice interrupted.
And just like that it ended. James sat down between Peter and Sirius and Lily turned back to Margaret as though nothing had happened.
"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that's something you don't wanna talk about either."
Lily just shook her head. She didn't even know how to explain how she had gotten to where she was now.
Glamour charms. Being the Charms nerd that she was, Lily remembered learning them rather distinctly. Everyone had gotten really excited at the beginning because they assumed they could just magic away anything they didn't like about their appearance. Acne, eye color, a bad haircut.
But magic doesn't work like that. Glamour charms only work on inanimate objects, and only for a little while. Human faces change too much throughout the day.
So either Connor Greenwich had been lying about glamouring Jeffrey's face, or he had found a way to alter magical theory. Knowing the students of Hogwarts like she did, Lily was leaning towards the lying theory.
Ideally Lily would spend a bit more time researching glamour charms before solidifying this theory, but currently she was speed walking to the prefect meeting she was already six minutes late for.
She arrived in the teacher's lounge another minute and thirty seconds later, breathless and just a little damp with sweat. Of course, every other prefect had probably arrived at least ten minutes early, and every head turned to watch her enter.
But she quickly scanned the room and found Remus near the back with her seat saved as always. Everyone must have been watching her still as the meeting began the moment she sat down.
"Good evening prefects, professors," Head Girl Nadia began nodding at each respective group. "We've got a few things to talk about tonight so let's start quickly, shall we?"
Lily hoped desperately for a quick meeting that gave her enough time to read the next chapter in D.A.D.A. and mentally prepare for Griffith's class tomorrow afternoon. Lily did not exactly get her wish.
"So, Thomas and I have gone through point values and all that fun stuff. Good work this week, everything's been approved. I'll hand out schedules for March at the end of the meeting, just find me on your way out." She turned to face the Head Boy standing beside her.
Thomas cleared his throat. "So we've got Hogsmede coming up next weekend. We'd really like as many of you to be there as possible so come talk to me after if I don't already have your name down. That said, if you do plan on hanging out in the castle watch out for older students causing trouble while attention is elsewhere.
"And we'll talk more about this next month but keep in mind the leadership retreat we have in April. It is mandatory for all prefects so I don't wanna hear any last minute excuses, got it?" Lily nodded enthusiastically, hoping this would be the end of it and they would turn them free now.
"Okay, we turn it over to you, Professor Dumbledore," said Nadia, and she and Thomas took their seats in the front row.
Lily had not even seen him in the very back corner, but he stood now and gracefully made his way to the front of the teacher's lounge.
"Thank you Miss Kassin, Mister Haverhill. I'd now like to give a few reminders to you all in hopes that this information will spread to the rest of the students. Firstly, that the Forbidden Forest remain forbidden. In particular, the edges of the forest. Even if you can still see the castle from where you stand, our gameskeeper, Hagrid, is at work training some dangerous creatures near the edge and students should keep far away."
The griffin, thought Lily. Nicomedia.
"Secondly, several of you have brought it to my attention that the Great Hall doors have been left unlocked. Please continue to check this on your rounds, but more importantly remind your fellow students to remain in the castle after curfew. Often this happens when a someone is locked outside the castle and must find a way in, usually through another student on the inside."
"Now, if you have no other prior commitments you are all more than welcome to remain here for the Staff Meeting. As always, we welcome your presence and contributions. Otherwise, I wish you all a good night." And with a small bow, Lily was officially free for the night. Well, free to enjoy her mountain of homework.
Nearly all the prefects rose with her, very few ever chose to stay late on a Sunday night. Remus, predictably, held the door open for her.
"After you." She smiled, shaking her head.
"Moony! There you are!" And her smile fell as she heard his voice. "Need your help with something."
Remus sighed. "Of course you do. It's always the night with five essays to write, isn't it?"
Lily giggled and wished him luck.
"Oh, hey Evans," James turned to her. "Got anything to tell me yet? It's been what… three weeks now? Think you can still handle it?"
She frowned. "Stay away from me, Potter." And she stalked off down the hallway, nearly shaking with fury at his nerve. At his confidence. At him. What was she thinking? She could never work with him on anything. She hated him.
This was how she entered the girls' dormitory, to Margaret painting her nails on the floor.
"What's up, girly?" And Lily was suddenly exhausted. The thought of doing defense homework made her want to collapse into a ball and never speak to anyone ever again.
Margaret, focused on her pink toes, did not seem to pick up on this.
"So, listen. I was thinking about what you told me, and I don't really know the whole story with you and this Snape kid, but I do remember when—" But whatever she remembered, Lily did not hear as she shut the curtains around her bed tightly in Margaret's face. And promptly laid down, fully clothed on top of her bed to go to sleep.
It was moronic.
"He's just being such an annoying twat, Hagrid. He's set up this stupid and arbitrary challenge that has absolutely nothing to do with what I want to know."
She was playing right into his hand.
"And it's some ridiculous way of testing me because apparently I'm not good enough for his company."
She was so stupid.
"It's like he's got no respect for me at all as a witch. I didn't even ask him for help! He offered it himself, and now he's gone and declared some sort of mystery hunt for his own amusement. That arrogant toerag. I hate him!"
Hagrid, quite wisely waited for Lily to finish. He took a long sip of tea.
"And Margaret thinks the only reason I'm so bothered by it all is because Mum wrote me the other day. And she keeps asking and asking about my personal life and Sev and I know it's been two years but I'm just not ready to talk about it like that because I know what everyone will say and think and I just don't want to hear it. I hate him too but I know it's not all his fault, not when things are like they are at home and I have to be the one to tell him his mother is injured and in the hospital and I can't talk to him because I miss him—" her voice broke off.
"Oh, Lily." Hagrid's arms were suddenly around her before she could see him get up from his chair. Despite his size, he moved surprisingly fast.
To her embarrassment, Lily felt tears start to track down her face. She really spent too much of her life crying. "How could I possibly be thinking about that at a time like this?"
"Yeh can' help how yeh feel," said Hagrid, her rant about James entirely forgotten before he could defend the boy.
"I know, and it would be fine if I could just never see him again, but it feels like he's everywhere. It's suffocating me."
"I'm sorry, Lily. Yeh deserve better."
"That's not the real problem here, though. I really don't think anyone's told him about his Mum, and I've waited so long now to do it but he deserves to know, right?"
Hagrid simply nodded. Lily knew he wasn't the biggest fan of Snape, but he had a good heart and a very strong moral compass that she trusted implicitly.
"How do I do it then?"
"There's no easy way ter do it. Yeh just go up ter him when he's alone and say yer piece. Be as honest as yeh can. And then forget the boy. Fer good."
Lily nodded, drying the last of the tears from her eyes.
"I always seem to have my breakdowns in here, don't I?" She smiled thinly.
"Better than fallin' apart in the middle o' dinner, though."
Lily laughed. "Well, there's a first for everything. We'll see how the rest of this year goes."
Lily took a deep breath. She had practiced what she was going to say to him. She had gone over his possible responses in her head again and again. She was as ready as she could be to talk to Severus again.
The hard part, it turned out, was tracking him down.
There must have been a reason she hadn't had a reason to say more than five words to him in the last year and a half. Those awkward moments when she did catch his eye he was always surrounded by that group of his. The ones that sent shivers down Lily's spine. Not good people.
So when would he be alone? To be fair, he tended to be cornered when he was alone, so Lily didn't necessarily blame him for surrounding himself with something akin to bodyguards wherever he went, but it definitely made it much harder to achieve her goal here.
Lunch had just ended, and Professor Vector cancelled their Arithmancy lesson due to a bad cold. Lily knew the Slytherins had Tuesday afternoons off as well. So far she'd had no luck with the Great Hall, the Library, the Hospital Wing, or any of the main hallways connecting the three. She could only hope he wasn't in his dormitory where she'd never reach him.
But she still had one more place to check.
The dungeons were even cooler than she remembered them to be. Yet somehow the slimy walls continued to drip irregularly without icing over.
A few doors ahead Lily could see the tell-tale flickering of a fire. The spare potions room Snape had shown her back in second year was definitely in use. She just needed to make sure it was the right person.
He was so hunched over the cauldron he didn't even noticed anyone had entered. His hair was longer, pulled back except for a few strands that hung precariously over the open flame.
"Severus." She'd meant to speak quietly and not startle him too much, but the words echoed over the empty room. He jumped up.
"Lily." She couldn't tell if he was happy to see her or angry. She couldn't read him like she used to. He was an entirely different person now. And she was sure it wasn't a good change.
"I don't mean to interrupt."
"It's simmering for the next twenty minutes. You can sit." She didn't, but she appreciated the offer.
"I don't really know how to say this, seeing how things are between us. But I got a letter from Mum and I thought you should read it." She handed over the letter from two weeks ago.
As he read she scanned his face for any chances of emotion, but he was as walled off before the letter as he was after. She didn't know whether to be relieved or terrified.
He extended his arm to return the letter. "Thank you, Lily." It wasn't exactly the reaction she'd been expecting, but it also didn't surprise her.
"Keep it. I'll let you know if she sends anything else."
He nodded. "Thank you." And she left without another word.
But the weight that lifted off her chest was much greater than the single letter that had been clutched to it entering the room. She wasn't really in a smiling mood, but that was just how free she felt. Free.
And in that moment she knew that she did not want to be tied to any more obligations than she already had to be. She intended to let herself be free.
Feeling somewhat accomplished by the end of her week, that Friday afternoon Lily set out for Hagrid's to update him on how her conversation with Snape had gone. The sun was already setting though it wasn't even five yet, and it threw dramatically long shadows from the trees in the Forbidden Forest.
Except, when Lily glanced at the window before stepping up to the door, she found another figure already sitting inside. She deflated slightly. She had never found Hagrid too preoccupied to talk to her, and yet she was not eager to sit and make small talk with another student.
Who else was close friends with Hagrid aside from her?
She hesitated to knock at the door, and kept watching through the window for another moment. Hagrid threw his head back, laughing uproariously. Lily took a step back. He was clearly enjoying himself, and more than he usually did with her by the looks of it.
But then the student stood to leave, and he turned to don a thick winter cloak hanging off the back of his chair. And Lily caught a glimpse of his face. And the long scar that cut across it. Jeffrey Rodgers.
She always seemed to find him where she least expected it.
A moment later he stepped out of the cabin. As soon as Hagrid shut the door behind him, Lily spoke.
"I didn't know you were friends with Hagrid." Jeffrey only flinched a little as Lily stepped out of the shadows.
"I don't know if anyone's ever told you this, but you can be very creepy sometimes, Lily."
"What are you doing here?" Jeffrey looked confused. He was probably expecting another interrogation, along the lines of her usual methods.
"What do you mean? I stop by all the time. Have been since first year when Hagrid nearly saved me from drowning in the lake."
"When you fell in on the boat rides to the sorting ceremony," Lily recalled fondly. She had forgotten that had been Jeffrey, a much smaller and scrawnier Jeffrey that lacked his scar. Sometimes it was like he hadn't existed before it did. She figured it must not feel great to be best known for some arbitrary feature.
"He invited me to tea after that and showed me some of his magical creatures. I love animals, and I guess he could tell cause he kept showing me more." His face lit up while recalling what Lily guessed to be many years of good memories. But he caught her eyes again and his eyes dimmed somewhat.
"How did you find me here then?"
Lily shrugged. "I wasn't looking for you. I've been coming to Hagrid's for years now too."
"Has he shown you the griffin?"
"You mean little Nico? He's grown so much I can't believe it!"
Jeffrey seemed to soften up a bit. "What about that bicorn he had last year? Bristol, I think he was called."
Lily wrinkled her nose. "He stunk so badly. I had to shower after every time I came over. One day Professor McGonagall actually stopped me in the hall and asked what was wrong with me. I had to spin some story about tripping in the greenhouses and getting covered in dragon dung. It was so embarrassing."
"You mean you didn't tell her about the bicorn?"
"Well, no. Of course not. He wasn't supposed to be hiding a bicorn in his cabin. And there's no way to explain why I'd ever be in the Forbidden Forest which is where they should be."
Jeffrey gave her a weird look, almost as though he were sizing her up or something.
"Connor said you were asking about my scar. Why? Why do you care now all of the sudden?"
Lily shook her head. "It doesn't matter anymore. It'll just sound stupid anyway."
Jeffrey cocked his head. "After all that you're giving up now?"
"Your dorm mate. James Potter. He thought it would be funny to test me by making me go on some wild detective hunt to figure it out. Clearly I did not prove myself well."
"James wouldn't have told you to find out if he didn't trust you with the information." Lily had not thought of it that way. That James would not only assume she was capable of finding out, but that she wouldn't spread it around either.
"I guess you're right."
"Potter is usually a pretty good judge of character." Somehow that seemed like a compliment to Lily.
"Look, I'll tell you. I think it goes without saying that you can't tell anyone else. But whatever you need to prove to Potter must be important for you to have hounded me for the last month, and I don't think James is wrong about you."
Lily waited with bated breath for him to continue. Could it really be that easy?
"I was kind of cocky when I was thirteen. I was stupid. Hagrid gave me a million warnings, but I thought I knew better. Nearly a whole year of Care of Magical Creatures and I thought I was a pro. So I got in the way of one of his pets and it tore up my face a bit.
"Magical injuries can't be healed by magic, so I got this big scar across my face. Connor tried to hide it for a while as it healed, but he couldn't do that for the next four years so I told him to stop.
"But it was my fault, you see?" Guilt racked his voice, desperate to have her understand. "Hagrid tried to warn me, and he probably saved my life by fighting it off. But if it ever gets out he'll be sacked."
"It wasn't your fault," said Lily quietly. "You were just a kid."
"Hagrid didn't do anything wrong."
She shook her head. "No he didn't. But neither did you. Sometimes accidents happen. We're kids with magic and not a whole lot of supervision. Something like this was bound to happen at some point."
They stood in near darkness now, curfew coming soon.
"We should probably get back to the castle soon," said Jeffrey. That scared kid had been replaced by his usual confident demeanor.
On their walk back up the castle, Lily thought about all the rumors that circulated around his scar. She had never heard one involving Hagrid or the Forbidden Forest, though now that she thought about it it did seem the most plausible. She realized it was likely Jeffrey himself that started the many rumors, drawing attention away from Hagrid himself.
And dangerously, Lily realized that she was starting to sympathize with him. Which wasn't a good sign when she was trying to out him for consorting with death eaters.
This plan was already becoming much more complicated than she had anticipated.
A/N:
Happy New Year! Thanks so much for reading and please let me know what you like/don't like/wanna see more of