Chapter 4: Separate Ways
When the news of the lock-down broke, no one was happy. Commuting students and staff were left stranded. This pissed off Zell to no end as his plans had been to spend the day with his mother. Apparently it was her birthday. Like Irvine could've known.
Names had been left out of it. Irvine wasn't sure why Xu didn't let Garden run their witch hunt, but he was grateful. Perhaps she didn't need the added stress. He guessed there would be paperwork involved if the residents killed him and that would detract from her current focus.
When he'd told his friends the part he played, they'd been furious. Quistis and Zell had shown no restraint and admonished Irvine for his irresponsible actions. As if he hadn't felt terrible enough. But he'd let them have their tirade. Strangely, Rinoa kept silent throughout it all. It was only when the blondes disappeared for the day he found out why.
"I had a bad feeling last night." He hadn't needed to prompt her. "Something in my gut told me something would happen. I thought it was nerves, or that I was being melodramatic. Squall said he was looking into some things but didn't want me involved in case I got into trouble with Xu but... but I should've pried it out of him. Then I had a nightmare. Just when I shook it off as a bad dream..." she shook her head, distressed at how she hadn't taken her suspicions seriously.
She wasn't alone. Irvine had let Squall to talk him into an early night. Ever since he saw him in the Infirmary with Selphie he had considered what would have happened if he'd refused the order. Would Squall really have risked exposing them to the rest of the room by physically removing the sharpshooter? If not, maybe he could have prevented whatever happened after.
Or maybe he would have joined him instead.
"It ain't yer fault," Irvine offered. She'd had no way to know that anything was wrong.
"It's not yours either, you know." She looked up and offered him a small smile while she scratched behind Angelo's ear. "Whether or not you chose to get involved, Squall was already looking into it. He's stubborn about his friends, nothing would have changed what he did."
She let out a sigh when the silence between them stretched. "I'm sorry I haven't been supportive about Selphie. I wanted to be but... I thought people would blame my powers for what happened. So I made excuses and stayed away. I think he probably knew but he didn't say anything until I brought it up. Then I realized how dumb it all sounded and we went together."
Irvine found himself unable to look the girl in the eye. He had assumed the worst of her, that the childish side of her had taken over and that she couldn't be bothered to feel sad when it had nothing to do with her. But that was the problem. Nothing Rinoa had done in the past should have given him a reason to suspect it would have. She had fought alongside SeeD in a war that was not hers because she thought it was the right thing to do, not because she stood to gain anything from it.
It made him feel like a hypocrite. He always stood up for her whenever someone made some sort of bottom-feeder comment, but when push came to shove he had made assumptions that were just as baseless.
"Do you wanna visit them now?"
When he looked back up he saw no judgment in her features, only concern. "Angelo could do with a walk and, well, I just wanna see them. Did you wanna come with me? You know, for moral support?"
Garden's atmosphere had changed. All conversations returned to the two people in the Infirmary and what caused the condition. There was genuine concern, not just for those who were unwell but of the danger it could pose to them all.
Irvine couldn't help but feel bitter. It wasn't fair that Squall's health was more important to SeeD than Selphie's. And it certainly wasn't fair to resent him for the views held by the people in Garden. Yet Irvine could not stop the judgment from passing. He did not voice his opinion for the same reason he had told Squall he forgave Rinoa the other night. She would feel like the brunet was under attack and spring to his defence without thought or hesitation. Worse still; she might even blame herself more than she already did.
When they entered the Infirmary Dr. Kadowaki waved them in without surprise. Immediately Irvine went for the two beds in the back of the room and Rinoa trailed along after him like a ghost. They watched as the pair slumbered on obliviously. Dr. Kadowaki assured them they weren't in any pain. It didn't make it any easier to see.
"Was this what it was like when I was in that coma?" Rinoa could not hide the pain in her voice. "Did he feel this helpless? Not knowing what to do?"
Irvine did not actually know how much the Sorceress had been told about that time, or if Ultimecia had done all she could to ensure Rinoa knew the kind of torture she had put them all through. "All he could think about was helpin' ya," Irvine offered after a moment. "Then Xu benched him. He took exception."
When Rinoa chuckled there was no mirth to it. Her gaze did not leave the unconscious SeeD's face. "But he didn't let it stop him," she said after a second. "We can't either."
"What'dya reckon we do? Sneak 'em out?"
"Maybe..."
He should not have been surprised that she even considered the idea. Rinoa had once tried to make Ultimecia wear an Odine Bangle with the hopes that it was 'pretty enough'. Her ideas were rash and usually ill-formed but they came from a place of caring. Now he watched her features tighten in resolve as she said, "Garden's resources aren't infinite. What if we took them somewhere they can get long-term care? Balamb? Esthar?"
"And what if somehow we make thangs worse off than they are?" He sighed. "Last time I did sumthan Sefie ended up with a room-mate. Mebbe we'd be betta off leavin' thangs ta Xu and tha Headmaster. Let 'em handle it."
"I hope so." Rinoa's tone betrayed her doubts.
When he'd had enough he rose and was about to leave when Rinoa called the doctor over. "Um... would it be alright if I took Squall's jacket with me?"
"Of course you can! We've sanitized and disinfected it so there should be no risk of getting sick."
Rinoa nodded, claimed the beater that hung on the coat rack at the back of the room and shrugged it on. The sleeves fell past her fingertips and the bottom that should have only been chest high stopped at her waist.
The doctor turned her smile to Irvine. "You can take Selphie's too, if you'd like."
"That's mighty kind o' ya, but it's not likely ta fit."
But Rinoa had already retrieved the bright yellow monstrosity. "It's not about the fit but the sentimental value. C'mon. You know you wanna."
Gingerly he accepted the bundle and tucked it under his arm. "Thanks."
They left in higher spirits and took Angelo out into the quad where she could do her business. They stood along the balcony, with clouds that passed while they watched in sullen silence. A week ago, Irvine had mourned how bored he was. Now he'd give anything for his friends to be awake and healthy, off doing Hyne knew what.
Irvine and Rinoa split up after that. He returned to his dorm and considered that he was back to square one. He ended up in bed and dosed off and on before a knock at the door jarred him awake. When he unlocked it he was shocked to find Rinoa on the other side of it, Squall's jacket still on. But any cordial greeting died on Irvine's lips at the worried look on her face.
"I found Squall's journal."
Irvine let her inside. He locked the door behind her, not really sure why he did.
"I'm sorry." Rinoa's tone was panicked. "I know you wanted to let Xu and Cid handle it, but I'm going stir crazy not knowing what to do. So... I peeked at his journal for any sort of clue..."
When they'd first discovered memory loss was a side effect from extensive Guardian Force use, the others had decided to keep a journal. It was supposed to be private (except for Selphie who posted hers on the Garden page) with the unvoiced promise to keep to theirs unless invited. With how private Squall was, the fact that Rinoa had gone through his was a huge violation of trust.
There had been no malicious intent but Irvine could see how guilty she felt even as she fingered the pages of the book she held. She sat down on the bed and opened the book. When he joined her he saw it was turned to the last journal entry – the pages beyond were all blank. "Most of the pages over the last week are reference numbers. Maybe to books he searched in the Library."
He thought back over the last couple of days and recalled the brunet always jotted something down as they sifted through texts. With Squall's stance on checking out their resources, it wasn't a stretch thatthe elder youth had kept note of which books he'd already read through in case he had to look back.
Unfortunately none of the reference numbers stood out to him. There were no titles, just page numbers and symbols.
"I think that he might have found something. But I can't figure out his notes. I hoped you might know."
"I can barely remember tha ones I looked at let alone what he rifled through. Mebbe by sight, but even that'd be a stretch."
"Somehow I just know this book holds the answers." She rose. "I say we look into it, but I would understand completely if you'd rather leave it to Cid and Xu."
"Considerin' I'm s'pose ta be stayin' outta it. Reckon if Xu found out, she'll have me outta here faster than ya can say Transfer Denied."
This was clearly not what she wanted to hear. Rinoa bit her lip anxiously. She wanted to be anything but idle and now that she had a direction to go in she was loathe to do so alone.
Irvine looked through the pages of Squall's journal again. He agreed with Rinoa's assessment but if they couldn't understand the scribbles and scrawls it was useless. It seemed possible that Squall had acted on what he'd discovered on his own. He had displayed a surprisingly impulsive streak during the war, so it wasn't unbelievable that it had gotten him into trouble.
Irvine considered how they could use this information to their advantage. They'd have to translate it somehow first, but so long as they were careful they could trace Squall's steps and pick up where he left off.
"Guess it's back ta tha Library." Irvine slapped the book against his thigh as he rose to stand. Rinoa looked elated that he had changed his mind. "But we're gonna play it cool."
"Okay," her voice shook with relief. "So how do we do that, exactly?"
"We ain't doin' it alone fer one. There's strength in numbers here and I reckon we should be on tha safe side."
They found Quistis in her classroom since she was unable to leave Garden. The moment she saw Irvine she had immediately told them to leave, uninterested in what the sharpshooter had to say for himself. He doubted he would have gotten her quiet long enough to tell her anything if he'd been alone.
Fortunately Rinoa had spent almost a life-time being ignored by her father and had learned to adapt if she wanted to be heard. Throughout Quistis's protests and exclamations that she did not want to be involved, Rinoa had stuckto her guns and talked over while she indicated the journal. Eventually the blonde gave up long enough for them to tell her the plan.
She did not seem impressed. "Xu specifically told you to stay out of it, so now you want to involve all of us in your scheme?" She sighed. "You know she will follow through on her threat."
"Look, tha way I see it Squall left us a message." Irvine held the journal out to her. "We just gotta figure out what he's tryin' ta say. And as the self-styled Expert Squall Observer I reckoned ya might be able ta figure out this jargon. At least help us get started."
She stared at the offered book for a moment with arms folded before she took it. Eyes darted along the pages behind silver glasses, back and forth, back and forth, until she handed the journal back to Irvine with a shrug. "I can't make any sense of this. It's just numbers."
He swallowed his disappointed curse. "It ain't like Squall to work in riddles."
"Squall probably didn't expect anyone to look through his journal. All I can say is it might be a reference point he prepared in case he had to refer back to something." She gestured to the book and added, "You should show this to Xu or the Headmaster."
"They won't understand it anymore than we do. And even if they could, they'll jes assume I went fishin'."
"Not if you tell them the truth."
"They won't believe that! Even if I said I was the one who found it, they'd just assume we went snooping and are trying to cover our tracks." Rinoa planted both her hands on her hips. "You don't want to see Irvine sent away, do you?"
"None of us want that. But there are better ways to go about this than going around Xu's back. After all, look where it got Squall."
"But ya know Squall," Irvine cut in before Rinoa could become defensive. "He probably reckoned he had everythan' unda control and tried ta deal with it all without askin' fer help. That was his mistake. If we all work tagetha – yes even Zell – we can figure this out and watch each otha's backs. If we can't figure it out by tha end o' tha day, ya can bring what ya know ta Xu and we'll go from there."
"I suppose I can hold off for a day," agreed Quistis with a sigh. "But you will be the one to tell Xu. Both of you. She'll go easier on you if you're honest with her and turn yourselves in."
Irvine didn't like his chances but he judged by the hard look the blonde fixed him this was a deal breaker. So he nodded his consent and Rinoa followed suit.
"So I guess we'll have to start looking through everything he read. Maybe if we split up the work load we can pick up where he left off. I'd really like to start today but..."
"No you can start today if you'd like to Rinoa," Quistis interjected. "You spend a lot of time in the Library anyway so it won't be out of the ordinary. Take Squall's journal with you, it might help. Once I finish up in here I'll find Zell and let him know what we're doing."
Irvine agreed that Rinoa did spend a lot of time in the Library. Yet she'd been suspiciously absent when he and Squall would meet up. Then Irvine thought about what she'd been told: Squall had wanted to keep her uninvolved. It was possible Rinoa had stayed away from the Library. Either she'd come up with the idea herself or Squall insisted.
When Quistis turned back to Irvine her features were terse as she said, "You had best lay low for the time being. Spend the day in the Infirmary with Selphie and Squall, or do whatever you usually do on your days off. Keep it simple and don't act suspiciously. We'll meet in the Library tomorrow morning."
As Rinoa and Irvine left the classroom, he couldn't help but wonder who had put Quistis in charge but allowed the question to slide. The elder girl was bossy but could mobilize and organize a group better than most people he knew. Maybe that was what they needed; someone to guide them as they looked into the mystery.