A/N: Thanks to Ravenshell for being an awesome beta!

Chapter 53

"Glad your powers are good for more than just trashing our home."

"Lay off, Raph."

"What? ...I'm just glad she's back to normal, ya know… normal for her anyway."

I smirk at Raph, reading the concern between the sarcastic remarks. "I can always practice using my powers in your room," I offer without missing a beat.

"No thanks. It's hard enough keeping Mikey from trashing my room." Mikey doesn't see this as an insult and looks rather proud of his room-wrecking abilities. I chuckle. It's nice to have a small level of normalcy as we clean up the mess made by my powers in the den. I levitate the TV back on the stand as Leo turns it right-side up. Considering the fact that Donnie is still asleep in the lab after I nearly ripped his soul apart, I suppose this is the most normal I can expect.

Master Splinter joins us from the lab. After our meditation session, he returned to the lab to sit with Donatello.

"Is he awake yet?" Mikey asks, practically bouncing on his toes. His countenance drops a bit when Splinter shakes his head.

"Your brother has been through much both physically and emotionally. He needs rest."

"Sensei, what if Donnie's not Donnie when he wakes up?" Raph is the one to voice what we've all been fearing but refusing to talk about for the past hour.

"We must not dwell on the negative what if's, Raphael. Your brother is strong; he will prevail."

I nod, agreeing with Master Splinter. The last thing I saw was his spirit being overtaken by his beastly side, but I have to believe he was strong enough to fight it. A buzz from my back pocket pulls me from my thoughts. My chest tightens as I read Simone's text message.

"Dudette, you look like someone told you all the kittens in the world disappeared." Mikey says tilting his head to the side.

Raph breathes out a swear as he reads something on his phone before looking at me. "Last thing we need right now is more fam drama." I offer a remorseful look as I pick up a few words from Casey's text through Raph's mind.

Leo looks between Raph and me completely oblivious to what the two of us know is about to go down if I don't act fast. "April?...Raph?...What's going on?"

"My dad…he—"

"April Harriet O'Neil." My full name makes me fumble with my phone and Mikey shriek as he drops a book on Raph's foot.

"Dad." It's the only word I can muster while Raphael curses at his abused toe and hops on one foot. I turn around to find my dad shoving past the turnstile. The turtles part a path on either side of his furious march toward me.

"You are in so much trouble right now, young lady." He ignores everyone else in the room and solely narrows his eyes at me.

Shrugging my shoulders, I shake my head angrily. "I don't care."

"Well, you should! Do you know how much danger you're putting yourself in right now?"

"Mr. O'Neil, I assure you April is more than capable of handling anything you may perceive as dangerous. Furthermore, my sons and I would not let harm befall her."

"You and your sons are the ones I'm trying to protect her from!" my dad screeches as Master Splinter's ears fold back.

"Dad, stop it!" I stand between them even though I know Master Splinter doesn't need my protection, but my father needs to know where my loyalties lie at the moment.

"Why are you fighting me, April? I'm trying to keep you safe!"

"And I'm trying to save my boyfriend's life!" It's the first time I have referred to Donnie as my boyfriend in front of my father and I think the title throws him for a loop so I roll with it. "Dad, listen to me. Donnie is sick. Really, really sick. He needs our help."

For a moment I believe I have finally reached my dad, that he finally understands my heart, but his resolve only hardens. "Let's go, April. There are things happening right now that are bigger than both of us. We need to leave now."

"No!" As he reaches for my arm, I pull it away and push my other hand toward him. A warm electric current pulses through my fingers as my dad stumbles back without me touching him. "Why won't you listen to me?"

"April, what?..." He tries to step forward but I tense my extended hand, holding his body in place. "I…I can't move! What's happening?"

"As I told you, April hardly needs protection from my family when she holds the key to her own safety," Splinter says as he squeezes my shoulder. "April, remember your training. Do not let your emotions overcome you." As he calmly speaks to me I let my hand drop to my side and my dad's body relaxes from my mental hold. It was never my intent to hurt my father, I just want him to understand.

"Telekinesis?" I nod as my father looks at me with an equal mixture of confusion and awe. "Since when?"

"….I don't know… a couple of days ago?" The exasperated sigh he gives me ages him considerably and I see the worry lines that I've been too angry and frustrated to see before.

"April, please come with me."

Darkness. The partial or total absence of light. Wickedness or evil. I know what it means but dictionaries do very little to describe how darkness feels. I'm surrounded by it right now and it's one of the coldest feelings I've ever experienced in my life. It's a coldness that seeps past muscles and bones and settles somewhere deeper inside. While it sits there it feeds, and while it feeds it waits. It drains the warmth that makes up the very essence of a person's existence until there's nothing left but a block of ice. I feel like I'm surrounded by a frost of darkness. I don't know how long I've been like this. It was quiet at first, so maddeningly quiet I could actually hear myself think but my thoughts brought me no comfort. Now I hear voices, not like the bad whispers but kind voices…warm voices. I'm cold and the voices feel nice and warm. Every time I hear them, I reach for them. The darkness is so thick and cold it's hard to reach, but I reach anyway. The voices seem just out of my grasp, but I can tell I'm getting closer to them because I don't feel so cold anymore.

It's still dark, but now I hear more voices. They're so far away but I need to reach them because that's where the warmth is and I'm still cold. I shift and move through the icy blackness and the voices get louder. The feeling of coldness is fading as warmth greets me. I can feel my hands now and my feet too. My eyes feel heavy but I try to open them anyway only to close them again in exhaustion. I groan in frustration as I try harder to open my eyes. This time they stay open. Everything is fuzzy until I blink. It's not dark anymore; and this room looks familiar. Sitting up slowly, I rub my head. This is my room…. my lab. Yes, my lab. I feel like I should be looking for something…. someone. Yes, I… I promised to find someone before the darkness came.

The voices I heard in the dark are more clear now. They're coming from the… den? I'm starting to remember, but some pieces are still missing. I'm looking for someone. I'm supposed to find someone. I stand up but crumple to the floor. My legs feel funny. My whole body feels funny. I stare at my hands, turning them over a few times. My hands aren't supposed to look like this; they're too big, too sharp, too not like me. Pushing myself to my feet, I stumble against the wall as my legs wobble beneath me. I look down at the medbay. It looks so small. Am I bigger? ...taller than before? A wave of dizziness keeps me off-center as I lean against the wall and take in this new height.

Sounds outside the door pull me away from my bodily concerns. The voices sound upset. My legs hurt but I force them to straighten as I step through the doorway. I whine at the strong light as I shield my eyes until they adjust. Three turtles and a rat…. my family. I smile as the haze lifts from my mind. My brothers, my father. I found them. Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, and Master Splinter. I frown. It bothers me how long it took to recognize my family. My quest isn't complete, not yet. Someone else is missing. Someone else I am supposed to come back to. Then I see her, with the red hair.

"April?"

I'm having little luck persuading April to come with me as our words escalate again, this time with unrequested comments from Splinter and his sons.

"April?" It is a small voice, uncertain and lost, but we all hear it and turn toward the lab door.

"Donnie?" The hope in April's voice is sweet and tragic at the same time as she and Donatello stare at one another from a distance.

He's mutated again and doesn't look well at all. All of his limbs are abnormally large and elongated. He struggles to hold himself upright as his claws grip the door frame. His height clearly exceeds his father's though his hunched posture creates the illusion of equal stature.

Despite his hulking appearance, Donatello's body trembles like a wounded animal. I regret my choice words of 'animal' when I see the look he gives April. His gaze reminds me of a man lost in a desert who has finally found an oasis, or in Donatello's case, my daughter. He missteps as he tries to approach us. I wince knowing none of us will reach him in time before he collides with the unforgiving floor. Fortunately his descent stops short of the concrete ground as he floats inches above the ground.

"Donnie!" April leaves my side and in an instant she's beside him, cradling his head against her shoulder as she lowers him telepathically into her embrace.

A blind man could see the love in his eyes that is mirrored twice as strong through my daughter's starry pupils. Young love is nearly impossible to deter; I should know. I shared it many years with my wife before her untimely death. The touching moment between them is ruined by a rattling cough that causes Donatello to double over painfully.

"April?"

"Hey." Her smile is wide, making her bright eyes squint. "You came back."

"...told you I would... find... you."

April laughs though it sounds more like she's crying. "Yeah, you found me."

Everyone is silent as Donatello and my daughter share this intimate moment of happiness together. He trembles in her loose hold, obviously too weak to support his own body, yet he struggles ever so gently to take a clawed finger and wipe the tears from April's face without so much as a scratch left on her fair skin.

Splinter and his other sons go to their fallen member's side. I inch closer to the small circle of love. Even with all the physical mutation changes, Donatello is still a teenager, a confused and frightened teenager, as he clings to my daughter and his family. They half carry and half walk him into the lab.

There was no malicious or sinister gleam in Donatello's eyes, only the helpless fear of a child. They guide him to the medbay to sit. As they try to lean him back on his carapace, Donatello's pupils pinpoint as he cries out.

"No!" He struggles against them, refusing to lay down. April steals a pleading glance at me as she tries to soothe Donatello's thrashing with soft gentle words. Her words fall on deaf ears as Donatello starts hyperventilating. He is going to hurt himself and the others if he continues like this.

Paranoia and hesitation take a backseat as I take swift steps toward the strife in front of me. "Let him go, let him go," I speak loudly over the ruckus. Splinter questions me only a minute with his eyes before releasing Donatello and telling the others to do the same. The struggling turtle gasps painfully for air, arms wrapped around his middle as he rigidly sits up on the bed. After a few moments, his body language is less defensive and his breathing has leveled out from his previous panic attack. "Donatello." When he doesn't respond, I call his name again. His moist eyes finally meet mine. There's something distant and unfamiliar in his owlish stare. "You might feel better if you lie down."

At the mentioning of laying down, his eyes squint with a painful expression. "No, hurts."

"What hurts, Donatello?"

"Hurts."

His limited speech concerns me. I look to Splinter and the others who seem just as befuddled as me. "Can you show me where it hurts? ...Donatello." I call his name calmly when his attention strays, staring curiously at the other occupants in the room. "Where does it hurt?" He blinks at me, this time with more recognition in his eyes.

"Mr. O'Neil? Wh-what're you doing here?" I try not to show my worry as a veil of confusion lifts from the boy's countenance.

"I'm here to help." I smile slightly in a matter I would often use when interacting with my patients to reassure them. "Do you remember the last few minutes?"

He frowns. "Everything was dark until I woke up, because I promised April... I promised her I would come back."

"He was unconscious before you came," Splinter says when I look at him for understanding.

"Then what do you remember?"

"Coming back in the lab and then... pain in my shell." He winces as he hunches over after attempting to straighten his posture.

Well, that explains why he wouldn't lay on his back. "Donatello why didn't you tell me the first time I asked?"

"This was the first time you asked." I keep a mental log of these subtle amnesic personality shifts to analyze later. "Did I miss something? ... It's just, you're the last person I was expecting to be here. Well, I expected you would come eventually but in a less calming manner."

Everyone else in the room seems to be wondering about my sudden change of heart as well as they await my answer. "Donatello, there are few things stronger than fear and your relationship with my daughter is one of them." April wraps herself around Donnie's arm as he stares at me in shock and gratitude as he smiles down at my little apricot.

The inquisitive spark that I know Donatello for has returned in full swing to his brown eyes but before he can question me I change the subject. I know he has more pressing questions concerning his lapse of memory, but it's best not to alarm him before I make additional observations.

"Lie down on your stomach; let's see if there are any fractures on your carapace." He's hesitant for a moment, more out of embarrassment then fear, but nods as Leonardo helps him move to lay on his plastron. Splinter and I both search his shell for cracks and gouges that would cause him such excruciating pain, but we find none.

"His bridge cracked a few days ago before but I do not believe it has worsened." As Splinter offers this information, I check Donnie's sides where his arms extend from his shell. I see the zigzag cracks and the brittle area that encircles his bulging shoulder muscles. He's right. These cracks are centralized and haven't spread to his carapace. As I look at the swell of muscles around the cuff of his shoulder, it is as I predicted nearly a month ago—he's growing out of his shell.

"Does this hurt?" I gently prod his side and he flinches.

"Yes, but not as badly as my carapace. It feels like something's stuck inside my shell.

"That could be a problematic without an x-ray to see what's going on beneath the hood so to speak."

"I have a radiography generator. It's behind the chalkboard." I'm relieved Donatello is sounding more like himself. After locating the make-shift x-ray machine, we are able to take pictures of his shell. The findings would be fascinating had they not been happening to the poor boy.

"What's that?" Michelangelo asks, jabbing his finger at the x-ray.

"I'm not a physician but if I had to take a guess, I would say it were some kind of growth."

"It's a bone spur," Donatello says with a clinical air as Splinter helps him into a sitting position. Tilting my head, I look more closely at the image. "Based on its density, it's more than likely an extension of my spine."

I don't have to be a doctor to know that's not good. If those spine extensions continue to grow against the inside of his shell...

"My humerus, pelvis, and femur bones have enlarged as well."

I don't know much about the physiology of mutations but I know plenty about the psychology of them from firsthand experience. Donatello looked as if he didn't recognize us an hour ago, and now it's seems as if he's back to his genius level self again... but is he really? Asking him another question, I test my theory. "Donnie, when is the last time you had an anxiety attack?"

His eyes search the ceiling as he ponders my question. "I think it was—"

There it is again, a shift. It's so slight, I almost miss his sudden stillness as his expression changes from confident to uncertain. His vision tunnels straight ahead like he's fast forwarding through a memory horror show.

"Donnie?" April is closest to him, still loosely holding his arm. I wouldn't be surprised if she felt a psychic shift in his mental state as well.

His lips move but there's no sound. "I can't hear you, Donnie. Can you tell me about your last anxiety attack?" I ask again, keeping my voice monotone and free from possible triggering pitches.

"It was cold and sticky. The bad whispers turned into a dark shadow, a cold, sticky shadow, and it wouldn't come off, " he whispers, still seeing something the rest of us cannot. "When it touched me it wouldn't come off…. It's inside of me."

I don't understand what he is remembering but it must have been devastating to cause such amnesia-like trauma. He's starting to become antsy and his eyes hold the same panicked confusion as they did when we tried to restrain him earlier. He doesn't recognize us. For a moment I think he's going to bolt out the lab, until April's hand reaches to touch the side of his face.

"Donnie, it's okay. You're safe now." April reassures him. Something happened to Donatello and April knows. I wonder if she uses her psychic abilities to calm his mind because in a matter of seconds, recollection gathers in his eyes as his relaxed body language shows the acceptance of her comfort.

"April?...Wh-what happened?"

As my daughter whispers more pacifying words to him, I can tell this ordeal has worn him out as his lids weaken and his body sways while on the medbay.

I'll need to get details from April and the others about what exactly happened before I came. My hand brushes the pocket of my jacket feeling the loaded handgun there and I remember the undercover agent who tried to follow me here. We definitely have things to discuss.

TBC

A/N: Another chapter post for you guys! As Kirby said, there is much to discuss in the next chapter so stay tuned! Thanks again to all of my faithful readers old and newcomers, I appreciate all of the support. This story is even more enjoyable to write because of you guys! Leave a review!

See you next chapter!

Poetique