CHAPTER 32: Not-So-Dark Day

Frowning as Luke walked out of the room, Lorelai followed him down the stairs. "Luke, what the hell is your problem?"

"I just need to get away for a day!"

"To get away from what? From me?" She countered him indignantly. "What did I do?"

Not stopping to turn around, Luke opened the front door while replying, "You haven't done anything!"

Unwilling to let up, she walked out behind him, pulling the door closed behind her. Stomping down the stairs, she met him in the yard nose to nose. "Then why, Luke? Why do you have to get away?"

"Because I just do!"

"No! I'm not accepting that! Why won't you tell me," she plead, frustration tinging her voice. "I'm so damn tired of the vague answers you've been giving me!"

Even though he knew good and well when she was referring to, he was too irritated to acknowledge it. "When have I given you vague answers?"

"When? Oh, I don't know," Lorelai seethed sarcastically. "What about Wednesday night!?"

WEDNESDAY EVENING

Walking into the house from work, Lorelai dropped her stuff on the desk in the living room. Luke, already fixing dinner, stood at the stove stirring a pot as Rory sat at the table doing her homework.

Dropping a kiss to her daughter's forehead, Lorelai greeted her happily. "Hey, sweets! Homework going alright?"

"Yeah," Rory responded as she looked up from her paper. "We learned about homophones today! Did you know there are three ways to spell 'to' and they all mean something different," she spoke excitedly, holding up three fingers.

"Really? No way!" Lorelai answered, playing off of Rory's excitement.

"Yeah! T-w-o is the number, t-o-o means also, and t-o is used for everything else."

"That's too cool, hon." Lorelai smiled.

"I know!" Grabbing her pencil with a grin, Rory hunkered down and got back to work.

Taking this as dismissal from their conversation, Lorelai shook her head with a small laugh and turned to walk over to Luke. Wrapping her arms around his waist from behind, she planted a kiss on his cheek. "Hey, Luke. What's for dinner?"

"Hey," he answered noncommittally. Reaching down with his free hand, he squeezed one of hers. "I thought we'd do chili since it's pretty cold outside."

"Sounds good." Releasing his waist, she walked over to the cabinet to grab a mug and poured coffee that, judging by the steam rising from it, had no doubt just been made by Luke a few minutes prior.

Trotting over to the fridge, she opened it to see a Luke's to-go box resting on the middle shelf. "Ooo, pie!"

Hearing her rustling through the fridge, Luke frowned. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Don't tell me you are seriously looking for something to eat."

"Actually," she answered, "I was looking to see whether or not we had some cheese to sprinkle on top of the chili."

"Because that's healthy," he grumbled.

"I never said it was." Hearing something out of the norm in his voice, Lorelai turned around to look at him. Now in front of the counter, he stood with shoulders slightly slumped… a sign that he was actually in a bad mood. Tilting her head to the side, she walked back over to him and ran her hand lightly down his back. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Luke responded unconvincingly, "It's just been a long day."

Despite knowing that there was probably more to it, she didn't want to push him. Figuring he would tell her later when Rory wasn't in the room, she nodded.
"Okay… I'm gonna go upstairs and change into something more comfortable. Call me when the chili is done if I'm not down."

Later that night, walking into the bedroom from the bathroom, Lorelai, donned in her flannel shirt, grabbed the pie plate from her nightstand and plopped down on the bed. "In my hand, ladies and gentlemen, sits the true advantage of dating a diner owner. I am never more than 10 feet away from pie."

Dropping his pants and shirt he just changed out of into the hamper, Luke looked over at her with a smirk. "Ah. See, I thought it was the way we always smell faintly of meat."

"Ah it's Heaven! Now, whether here or the diner, one quick trip downstairs and I have all the treats I want. You're like Willy Wonka, but hotter."

Rolling his eyes, he answered. "I am not hotter than Willy Wonka."

Smiling at his eye roll, she continued, "Slap on a purple top had and you're close."

Trying not to rise to her comment, Luke pulled back the covers and climbed into bed next to her.

"This is nice," Lorelai informed him plainly, completely changing the subject as she began picking at the pie crust on her plate.

Rubbing her leg, Luke nodded. "I have very few complaints."

"Hmm, I'm going right past the 'very few complaints' comment because I know you're just trying to bait me… What complaints?" she prodded, leaning closer to him with a naughty smile.

Chuckling, Luke ignored her and began fluffing the pillow behind him, making it ready for him to lay down on.

"Hey… So, Luke, Miss Patty is celebrating her 30-year anniversary."

"Which husband," he deadpanned.

"With the business we call show."

"Oh him."

Looking at him with begging eyes, she explained. "And she's having a big party, and I told her we'd go."

Sighing, Luke shook his head. "Oh, man."

"It'll be fun!"

"It will not be fun."

"Come on! I have to have you there," Lorelai plead, shamelessly wearing a slight pout on her lips. "Otherwise people will think I made you up."

"Fine," he conceded. "I'll go."

"Thank you," she grinned, pecking a quick kiss to his cheek before taking another bite of her dessert. "So, it's Friday at eight o'clock."

Despite his intentions to hide it, Lorelai noticed Luke tensed slightly.

Sitting up, he pulled the covers over him and prepared to go to sleep. "I can't go Friday."

Pressing him again, hoping he would tell her why, she questioned, "Why not?"

"I have to go out of town."

"Why?"

"Business."

Frowning, she noticed how his answers were becoming short, just like they had earlier in the evening. "Business? Now your Willy Loman?"

"Banking business in Woodbury," he elaborated plainly. "Standing appointment. Sorry. Hit the light will ya?" Leaning over, he planted a quick kiss to Lorelai's lips. "I have to get up early. Night."

Disappointment written all over her face and filling her voice, she responded quietly. "Ok… night."

"Or do we want to talk about what happened tonight," Lorelai yelled, growing angry at his obliviousness. "Because I sure remember some pretty vague answers and some pretty rude things coming out of your mouth."

EARLIER THAT EVENING

Sitting at the table eating pizza, Lorelai and Rory munched along, laughing about one of the crazy things Kirk had said while they were out and about earlier in the day. As they giggled, Luke finally entered the house, but, not stopping to check in in the kitchen, he headed for the stairs.

Hearing him ascend the stairs, Lorelai frowned. Placing her pizza on her plate, she looked over at Rory. "I'll be right back, hon. Don't eat the whole pizza without me."

Going up the stairs herself, she reached her doorway to see Luke closing his nightstand drawer and noticed the bag he had filled on the bed. "Are you getting ready to go somewhere?"

"I'm going back to the diner. I've got to get up early tomorrow so that I can leave later for that bank thing."

Narrowing her eyes at him, she questioned, "What do you mean you're going back? Are you not done closing yet?"

Sighing, Luke zipped the bag quickly and turned around to face her. "I mean, I'm going back to the diner tonight to sleep. I'll be back tomorrow," He supplied.

"Okay… am I crazy or did you not just move out of the diner four days ago? Just because you have to get up early doesn't mean you still have to go back. Why are you going back?"

"I just have to…"

Rolling her eyes, Lorelai inhaled a deep breath and blew out slowly. "Luke… Is there a reason you're being so ambiguous with me?" she questioned.

Before he could answer, they were cut off but the sound of little footsteps approaching. A few seconds later, into the room bounded Rory. "Mommy! Your pizza is getting cold!"

Reining the slight frustration that was building in her, Lorelai turned to her with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I know sweets. I'll eat it in a few minutes."

Accepting her answer, Rory turned to Luke who was still standing by the bed but now had his hands in his pockets. "Hi, Daddy Luke!" Catching sight of the bag behind him, she immediately frowned. "Are you leaving?"

"Hi, Rory…" he answered slowly. "I'm just have to go back to the diner."

Gasping, Rory looked at him imploringly. "But it's movie night! You're always here for movie night!"

Wanting nothing more than to be there with them, but knowing he wouldn't be the best of company because of his attitude, Luke supplied quickly. "Rory, I can't"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…"

"But, me and Mommy were…"

Before he could catch himself, Luke answered a little harsher than he would normally mean to. "Rory, no! Stop!"

Preventing herself from yelling at him, Lorelai bit her lip as the anger burned in her stomach. Seeing Rory's sad and slightly shocked look, Lorelai immediately softened for a moment. "Hey, hon… Why don't you go back and finish your pizza then get your pajamas on? We'll curl up on the couch and watch the Little Mermaid in a little bit. I've got a super-fantastically-large bag of red vines if you want them."

"Okay…" Rory agreed hesitantly, sadness tinging her voice.

As she disappeared downstairs, Lorelai quickly shut the door and grabbed Luke by the sleeve, despite his resistance, and pulled him further into the room.

"Lorelai, what the hell are you…"

"Nuh uh," she cut him off forcefully, "Don't 'what the hell' me… I don't know what's got you in this less than great mood today, but Rory didn't deserve that, and you know it!"

Not really sure of what to say, Luke just sighed, running his hand over his face as he looked at her blankly.

"What? You've got no response? You're seriously not going to tell me what's going on?"

His mind searched for the words, but Luke didn't know how to explain what was causing his mood without making him sound weak and ridiculous.

"Fine. Don't tell me…" Lorelai spat. Clinching her jaw for a moment, she continued frustrated, "But I seriously suggest you fix whatever it is before you yell at my kid again."

As she stormed out of the room to go back downstairs and check on Rory, Luke sighed loudly. Removing his cap, he ran his fingers through is matted hair. "This is for the best," he whispered as he decided to hull up in the room until Rory went to bed, not wanting to risk seeing her or Lorelai and having his temper flare again. But much to his dismay, going down later would lead him to a much larger argument than he intended.

"I thought you were just in a mood at first," Lorelai explained, shaking her head. "But now it just seems like you're trying your best to be a pain in the ass!"

Drooping his head, Luke knew she was right. He was being an ass, but he felt like he couldn't help it. The only way to stop himself from being that way to her was to get away. "Lorelai… Just please go to bed," he implored.

Crossing her arms in front of her, she frowned. "You know what," she spoke, her voice now filled with more sadness over being shut out. "That's what I'm going to do. I've had enough of this… Just go to the apartment and don't call me or talk to me until you're done being an ass."

As the clock struck 1:39 am, his body still wouldn't submit to sleep. Lorelai's words kept running thought his mind. "Don't call me or talk to me until you're done being an ass…" The utter sadness in her voice bothered him, and it killed him to know that he was the one to cause it. "Why can't I tell her? Why can't I control myself? Why, after all these years, does it hurt so bad?... Why can't I tell her?"

With his mind whirling from past to present, Luke's body finally reached the point of exhaustion, forcing him to fall asleep.

After flying into the lake from the rope swing, Rory's little head popped up from the surface of the water. "Come on, Mommy! It's fun!"

"I don't think so, kid!" Lorelai laughed from Luke's lap as they watched her splash around and enjoy herself in the water. "But I bet Grandpa Will will join you if you ask nice enough."

Looking over, Luke saw his father lounging lazily in the chair next to them.

Tearing his eyes from the paper in his hands, Will called back, "I don't know about that, Rory… I might be a little too old."

"You're not old!" Rory giggled. "Please! I'll give you a really big hug!"

"Well, why didn't you just say so?" He chuckled. Kicking off his shoes, he began walking towards the bank of the lake.

"No! You have to use the swing like me."

"If I use the swing, I get two hugs," Will bartered, smiling brightly. "Do we have a deal?"

"Deal," Rory yelled as she splashed excitedly.

Just as Luke had seen him do many times during his childhood, Will launched himself from the swing with ease, a large splash erupting as he hit the water.

His eyes opening suddenly, Luke came to. Taking in a deep breath, he didn't make a move to get up as reality of where he actually was set in. Despite how much he wanted it to, that dream was never going to happen. He and Lorelai were never going to share a cabin trip with his dad. He would never get to see his father's eyes light up as Rory talked to him. He would never be able to take time off, relaxing with all of them as a family. That would never happen, and as the sob caught in his throat at the realization, he turned over on his side, willing himself to go back to sleep and avoid the hell that this day was sure to bring.

"Gone fishing!" Lorelai exclaimed, disbelief filling her voice. "He said he would be open this morning!"

Seeing Patty approaching Lorelai frowned. "He's not here."

"Oh, no, honey… Today's the 13th. Luke's never here on the 13th… it's the dark day."

Looking at her curiously, Lorelai pulled Patty aside from the small crowd that had gathered at the door. Dropping her bag, she questioned, "What dark day?"

Her eyes widening slightly, Patty brought her fingers to her lips. "Oh, honey, you don't know? Today's Luke's dark day. The day he disappears."

"Disappears where?" Her mind suddenly spinning, Lorelai struggled to think of where Luke could have gone between that moment and last night.

Shaking her head, she answered, "Nobody knows. Nobody knows where he goes of what he does. All we know is not to try and find him."

"Why didn't I know about this?"

"I don't know, honey, but none of us really know much about it. He just disappears for the day and comes back the next like nothing ever happened."

Nodding, but not satisfied with her answers, Lorelai smiled sadly. "Thanks Patty. I'll see you around."

A few minutes later, Lorelai scurried into the inn, realizing on her way there that Mia might have the answers she was looking for. Knocking quickly, she shuffled her feet, waiting anxiously for Mia to open the door. As soon as the door cracked, she blurted, "Mia, I don't know where Luke is!"

Taking a moment to realize what she said, realization finally dawned on Mia. "Oh my goodness… It's the 13th isn't it."

"Uh yeah, but I still don't understand what this day has to do with Luke."

"Sweetheart, it has everything to do with Luke. Come with me."

Walking in, they both sat on the couch, Mia taking Lorelai's hands in hers. "I should have warned you about this."

Not wanting to drag along any more than she had to, Lorelai jumped into questioning immediately. "Patty said Luke has a dark day, and that's what today is… Why is this day his dark day."

"Patty is right," Mia sighed. "It is his dark day. As far as why, I do know, but I believe that it's for him to tell you. I can tell you, though, that he will be back tomorrow. He always comes back… He just needs some time for himself."

Hoping she could at least give her some true peace of mind, Lorelai prodded, "Do you know where he goes?"

Shaking her head with a sympathetic frown, Mia answered, "I don't. He changes the place every year."

"Gah!" Putting her face in her hands, any bit of anger that had spurred in her last night or this morning melted away. Not looking up, Lorelai spoke inhibited words. "We had a fight last night because he was being an ass…"

Placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, Mia agreed. "Lucas can be that way every once in a while."

Her eyes shifting up at the gesture, Lorelai shook her head sadly. "And he was. He was closing up on me, and he unnecessarily yelled at Rory… I had every right to be angry, but now I feel awful because his crabbiness probably has something to do with this. I thought it had something to do with him second guessing living with us… Now I hate to think that he's out there somewhere all alone, trying to deal with whatever it is that makes him upset. I could help, or, at least, try to."

"I know you would… I'm sorry I can't tell you where he is."

Sighing, Lorelai squeezed Mia's arm. "It's okay… I just hope he's okay."

"He'll be fine, Lorelai. He always is. Just be patient with him."

On her lunch break, Lorelai left the desk, taking the phone with her. Walking out onto the corner of the front porch, she dialed the familiar numbers to the diner. As the answering machine beeped, she spoke carefully. "Hey, babe… It's me."

Taking a deep breath, she continued sincerely, "Look… I don't know where you are right now, but I hope you hear this message soon. If you hear this message tomorrow, then at least call me and let me know that you're okay… I don't know what's going on, and all Miss Patty and Mia could tell me was that you're having a dark day."

Shaking her head, a tear escaped the corner of her eye. "I was angry. I was actually angry when I saw that 'Gone Fishing' sign on the door, but now I'm not angry. I just want to know that you're okay. I don't know what dark day means, but I know that it means you're facing something bad, so I wanted to tell you that I love you. I love you, Luke, and if you happen to be at the apartment and you need me, just call me. Call me, and I'll come… I…"

Her voicemail was cut off, and through the phone she heard a quiet, "Lorelai…"

"Luke…" she breathed, surprised but relieved. "I'll be there soon."

In what seemed like record time, after making Rory's afterschool arrangements with Mia, Lorelai made it to the diner, and found herself slightly out of breath as she reached the apartment door. Reaching for the doorknob, she paused. "Should I really go in?... No, I have to go in. He wouldn't have answered if he didn't want me to come."

Opening the door slowly, she peered through the darkened apartment and called out a soft, "Luke?"

As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw Luke's form on the couch, noticing his head in his hands. Making her way to him, Lorelai sat down beside him, drawing him to her immediately.

Falling into her, Luke buried his face against her and whispered, "I'm sorry. Rory… You… I'm so sorry."

Hearing the sorrow in his voice, she planted a kiss to the top of his head and began stroking up and down his back. "It's okay." Though she wanted to start questioning him immediately, seeing the state he was in, she thought better of it. Instead, as she felt his growing weight against her, she whispered, "Babe, scoot forward a second."

Stretching out behind him, she turned on her side. "Here, now lay down."

Obliging easily, Luke laid down, facing her, again burying his face against her chest.

Throwing a protective arm and leg around him, Lorelai pulled him as close as possible as they laid in silence.

It could have been a few minutes or a few hours, she didn't know. All she knew was that, from hearing the sound of Luke's soft snores, he was getting the rest he needed. Meanwhile, her mind was racing, trying to figure out what would put him in such a somber state.

Out of nowhere, she was pulled from her thoughts as Luke started shift. Groaning, his eyes shot open as he yelled, "Dad! Rory!"

"Luke, Luke, Luke!" Lorelai called, clinging to him so he wouldn't roll of the couch.

Feeling some of the tension release from his shoulders and his heart rate start to calm, she knew he was finally well awake. "Luke," she spoke softly, "It was a dream... It was only a dream."

"A dream," he answered quietly. Tilting his head up and bringing his eyes to hers, he spoke with a voice laced with concern. "Where's Rory?"

"Shhh…" she soothed, running her fingers through his mussed hair. "She's fine. She's with Mia."

Forgetting their placement, Luke tried to turn on to his back. Luckily, Lorelai had a tight enough grip around him to keep him from falling off. "Woah! Be careful… Why don't we move to the bed? I know it's not much bigger, but at least it is a little."

"Okay…"

As they got up, Lorelai kicked something. Looking down at the floor, she made out the figure of a box with Rory's album on top. "That's why he was going through the night stand." As Luke continued to head to the bed, she bent down and picked it up, setting it down as she reached his bedside table.

Stretching out on his back, Luke reached over for her hand, pulling her down to him and letting her drape herself slightly over him, as they usually would in their bed at the house.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine…" he answered, an overwhelming sadness filling his voice.

Looking up at him, she took a chance and spoke in a soft voice, "Luke, what's going on?"

Not moving his eyes from the ceiling, he spoke quietly, "Today's the anniversary of my dad's death… 8 years ago; it's been 8 years."

"Oh, Luke…" Sighing, she pulled her self up to meet him. Cupping his cheek in her hand, she planted a soft kiss on hips lips. "I'm sorry."

Taking a deep breath, he continued, "This is what I do every year… I hide out here or somewhere else, isolating myself from everyone. I just sit and sleep. Sometimes, I go through is things that I have left, but most of the time I just try to make it through the day in one piece… If he were here, he'd call me a damned fool."

As he finished, Lorelai could see the pain in his eyes. "You do what you have to do," she reassured him.

"No… my mother's death doesn't affect me like this. Something about this day turns me into another person. Lorelai, I yelled at you… and at Rory. What kind of man does that?'

Shaking her head, she answered, "I'll admit, yelling isn't the best, but Luke, you're grieving."

"It's no excuse. I yelled at you for trying to help."

"Babe, don't beat yourself up," Lorelai frowned as she spoke. "Yes, I was mad and Rory was hurt, but at least I know a reason for it now…" Slipping her hand under his t-shirt, she drew soothing circles around his stomach. "You're grieving, Luke. I know it's been 8 years, but it's okay that the pain is still there… I'm here. I'm not your dad, but I'm here. I'll do whatever I need to help."

"I love you," he breathed, planting his lips to hers tenderly. "I don't deserve you."

"And I don't deserve you most of the time either, so we're even." Lorelai could tell by the look in his eyes that he was still weighed down heavily with guilt. "I'm not going anywhere, Luke," she reassured him, "Yes, you yelled, but I forgive you. Stop beating yourself up…"

Instead of responding, Luke merely nodded.

Not sure what to make of his silence, Lorelai bit her lip in contemplation. "Do you want me to stay? I can leave if you want me to go."

Tightening his grip around her middle, he smiled small at her and murmured, "I don't want you go to."

"Then I won't."

As they fell into another silence as they did on the couch, her hands kneaded his tense body aimlessly as she did her best to be the solid rock that Luke needed.

Lorelai's eyes opened slowly as she took in her surroundings. Remembering where she was and why, she didn't move much, doing her best not to disturb Luke. Looking over at his nightstand, she took in the 5:30 pm time.

Shifting slowly, she unwound herself from him, moving carefully as not to wake him up. As she reached her feet, she lingered, watching as he unconsciously reached for the pillow they shared, bringing it closer to him.

Satisfied that she hadn't woken him up, she tip toed over to the phone and carried it with her out into the hall as she dialed.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mia. It's Lorelai."

"Hey… How's Luke? How are you?" The older woman questioned, concern tinging her voice.

"Luke's alright. He's asleep right now…" Thinking back on the depressed form she saw when she walked in the apartment earlier that day, Lorelai sighed. "Mia, I've never seen him like this. Why wouldn't he tell me? I would have been here earlier if I'd known. I probably wouldn't even have come to the inn today and stayed with him."

"I know that, and I'm sure Lucas knows that," Mia explained, "He just has a hard time sharing his thoughts and emotions sometimes… Kind of like someone else I know."

Lorelai smiled knowingly. "It sounds like a 16-year-old girl I remember coming to the inn a few years back who lied to the sweet inn keeper about why she and her daughter suddenly needed somewhere to stay."

"Exactly…"

Peeking back in the door, Lorelai saw no sign of movement from Luke. Closing it back again, she sighed sadly. "Mia… He's made me so mad the past few days, but now I feel awful."

"Honey, you can't beat yourself up. You didn't know."

"I know," Lorelai smiled sadly. She found it funny how Mia was having to reassure her the same way she reassured Luke. Realizing the noise in the back ground on Mia's end, Lorelai questioned, "How's Rory?"

"I'm glad you asked," Mia laughed. "Right now, she happens to be tugging at my jacket. She's dying to talk to you."

"Well, put her on!"

She heard the sounds of shuffling before she was greeted with a loud and happy, "Hi, Mommy!"

"Hey, my sweet girl! Are you having a good time with Mia?"

"Yeah! We made cookies."

"Really? Before dinner? That's my girl."

"I saved you some…" As per usual with 6-year-old minds, Rory had no trouble suddenly changing the subject. "Mommy, where are you?"

"I'm at Daddy Luke's old apartment. He doesn't feel too well."

"Is he sick?"

Lorelai could hear the concern in Rory's voice. Sighing, she tried to figure out the best way to explain what was going on. "Rory… You know how you sometimes get sad and feel bad when you miss your Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, Daddy Luke is sad and feels bad because he misses his daddy."

"Oh… does he want me to save him some cookies? Cookies make me happy. Will that make him happy?"

Laughing softly, Lorelai smiled. "I think it will… that and a big hug might make him feel a little better."

"Okay! I can give them to him tonight when we decorate for Christmas!"

Slapping her forehead, the sound of the impact echoed though the quiet hall. Somehow, she had forgotten that she promised Rory that they would decorate since they weren't going to Miss Patty's party. "Maybe Luke will be up for a night in," she thought. "It may help take his mind off of things." "I'm not sure kid… Let me check and see how Daddy Luke is doing, and we'll see if we are going to decorate tonight. If not, how does decorating tomorrow sound?"

"It sounds good!"

"Alright… Tell Mia I'll call her back in a little bit with plans, okay? Bye, Rory. I love you!"

"Bye, Mommy! I love you too!"

Opening the door to the apartment softly after she made a quick batch of coffee downstairs, Lorelai walked in and sat the phone back on its stand. As she tiptoed around to the couch, she heard a soft, "You don't have to be quiet. I'm awake."

Walking over to the bed, she sat down to see a wide-awake Luke. Reaching out, she laced her fingers through his, bringing their joined hands to rest on his stomach. "Another dream?"

Shaking his head, he answered, "No, I just woke up on my own… Who were you on the phone with?"

"Rory… well, Mia at first, but Rory wanted to talk too…" Looking at their hands where his thumb was circling the back of hers, she spoke softer. "She asked about you."

Tensing slightly, he questioned, "What did you tell her?"

"That you were missing your dad. I didn't go into full detail, but she knows what it's like to miss a parent in some capacity…" Remembering Rory's other question, she smiled. "She wanted to save you some cookies to make you happier, and she's planning on giving you a big hug when she sees you next."

"She's a great kid," Luke smiled, but only for a second as his frown soon reappeared. "I still can't believe I yelled at her."

"Luke…"

"No." He shook his head adamantly. "my dad's death is not an excuse… That's why I was trying to come here in the first place. I knew that I was going to be on edge, and I didn't want to hurt either of you, but that's exactly what I did."

"Well, you did, but it's forgotten…" Nudging his leg her with free hand, she made enough room to where she could lay back down next to him. Resting her head on his chest, she looked up at him and continued, "That's enough about me and Rory… How are you feeling now? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he murmured, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm just trying not to think too hard about him."

"Maybe you should."

The hand that was trailing up and down her shoulder froze. Looking down over at her curiously, Luke frowned. "What?"

"I'm just saying, maybe you should think about him."

Sensing that he was starting to feel combative, Lorelai shook her head and continued. "Don't think about the end… Think about everything else. There had to be some good times here and there throughout the years."

"There were more than a few," he acknowledged quietly. Seeing his eyes sort of glaze over, she could tell he was taking his thoughts back to the past. "Especially this time of year… when mom was alive. He acted like he hated Christmas, especially when it came to telling Taylor to buzz off and stop bugging him about decorations at the store, but at home, at least inside, our house probably had more holiday joy and spirit than anywhere else in the state."

"Really?" she supplied, smiling small as she hoped he would go on.

"Yeah… He always wanted to go all out on everything. He would string up lights and decorations inside the house, make his family-secret hot chocolate recipe every day of December until Christmas came, and read some sort of Christmas story to us before bed every night. He said it had something to do with not being able to experience Christmas much growing up, so he wanted to go all out for his own family."

"Huh," Lorelai mused, "That's nice…" Propping herself up on her elbow, she trailed a finger down his chest. "Hey, Luke…Do you think you'd want to do that with me?"

Torn from his memories, Luke looked at her, brows furrowed. "What?"

"Do you think you'd want to celebrate Christmas like that with me… well, me and Rory. We don't have to go all out, but Rory did mention something about decorating the house for Christmas tonight if you're up for it."

Sighing, he shifted to face her and ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know, Lorelai. I'm still in this kind of funk."

"I know," she smiled, "But maybe we can try and get you out of it. If it becomes too much for you, you can go upstairs, and Rory and I will finish."

Reaching out, he tucked a wayward curl back behind her ear as he contemplated what she said. Taking a deep breath, he nodded slowly. "Okay… We can do that."

"These cookies are great, sweets!" Lorelai complemented as she took another bite. "The red and green frosting was a nice touch too."

Shifting her eyes over to Luke, Rory watched as he took a small but from the snowflake cookie she saved him. "Do you like them, Daddy Luke?"

Looking up, he nodded and took a second bite. "I do… Thank you, Rory."

Hopping off the couch from where she was sitting, she walked over to where he was standing by the stairs and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry you're sad. I miss my dad sometimes too, but I have you and Mommy and cookies to make me happy."

Pleased by her sentiment, Luke patted her back. "It's okay…You and Mommy and these cookies make me happy too, so I'll be better soon."

"Are you going to decorate the tree with us?" Rory asked. "I'm always happy when I decorate the tree."

Glancing over at Lorelai, Luke wore a small smile as he answered, "If you want me to, then sure."

Pumping her fist, she exclaimed, "Alright, then. Let's decorate the tree!"

Stepping back 45 minutes later, Lorelai looked at the tree with a critical eye. "Are you sure there's enough ornaments on it? I feel like it still looks a little bare?"

"Lorelai, if we put anymore on it, you won't be able to see the actual tree," Luke deadpanned, putting a lid back on one of the empty ornament containers.

"I think it needs more!" Rory grinned, pushing the last box of decorations towards her mother from the stairs. "We have one more box! We have to use them!"

Taking in the small brown box, Lorelai noted the label written in black marker. "Oh yeah… Those are from Mia. Apparently when she was decorating her tree, she saw these in her collection and thought of me."

Grabbing the box, she carried it over and placed it in front of the tree. As she removed the flaps, she noticed a note sitting on the top. "Huh… What's this?"

Not taking any thought to the note, Luke and Rory began taking ornaments from the box. Out of the blue, Luke's breath hitched audibly as he held up a small, wooden angel.

Looking over at him, Rory prodded, "What is that?"

"It's an angel…" he mumbled. "I've seen this before. My dad made one just like this for my mom and Liz."

"Luke…"

Hearing the sudden change in her tone of voice, Luke turned to Lorelai to see her staring at the ornament in his hand. "That is your parents' ornament."

Handing him the note from Mia, she pointed to the bottom where he read,

"P.S. Show this part to Luke.

Luke,

Your dad left this to me, and I've been using it for my tree at home, but per William's instructions, I am supposed to give this to you when you "finally become happy enough to celebrate Christmas again." I think this is the year, son. It's your year to be happy, so be happy, and make your girls happy too.

Mia"

Drawing in a shaky breath, Luke looked back up at Lorelai who had bright, teary eyes. "Did you know about this?"

Shaking her head, she laughed softly and wiped her eyes. "Does it look like I did?"

Smiling brilliantly, the first real smile he had worn all day, Luke stood up and handed the ornament to Rory, just as his father would do with Liz. "Here, Rory… Why don't you find the perfect spot for this?"

"Okay!" She exclaimed, taking the angel gently from his hand and circling the tree, looking for the best spot to put it.

As Rory searched, Luke walked into the kitchen where a sniffling Lorelai was grabbing a tissue. Not letting her turn around, Luke wrapped his arms around her from behind, placing a soft kiss to her neck.

"That was some ornament," she whispered, patting at her eyes.

"Tell me about it," he answered quietly.

Turning in his arms, she looked at him earnestly. "It's not too much?"

Shaking his head, he tightened his grip on her. "Not at all… It's perfect. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For this… For you. For Rory. For today. For tonight." He stressed. "This day sucks, but you've made it bearable."

Satisfied with his admission, she squeezed his waist. "All I've wanted to do was help," Lorelai whispered.

"You did... Maybe this dark day isn't so dark after all"

Wearing a small grin, she placed a chaste kiss to his lips. "If you want, we can make this a not-so-dark day instead… You can still remember your dad, but we'll kind of honor him in a way by decking the place out so much that it looks like Santa's workshop."

"I'd like that," Luke agreed, resting his forehead against hers. "I'd like that a lot."

A/N: Right now you may be thinking, "Wait... Isn't Luke's dark day right after Thanksgiving?" Yes... In the show, Luke's dark day is Nov. 30, however, in order to advance my timeline, I am making a slight change and moving it to December 13th. Yes... I also know that this is quite the random date, but with Luke's birthday and Thanksgiving also taking place in November, I did not want to have three of my chapters span the timeline of about two weeks.

However, no matter the date, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm sorry it took me so long, but between college starting back and some MAJOR writer's block deciding to show up, I had a very hard time writing this chapter. I think I like how it turned out in the end, so I hope that, for y'all, the wait was worth it.