Peppermint Snow, Chapter 4
Sunday
(6:30 pm): My roommates going out with his circle of acquaintances. I'm going to go look through his stuff and wrap everything he owns in tin foil
Birdie (7:12 pm): no don't do that
(7:14 pm): too late I've already opened all of the drawers in his desk
Birdie (7:16 pm): but what about privacy?
(7:17 pm): Well he should have thought about that when he took my diary
Birdie (7:17 pm): Wait you have a diary
(7:19 pm): Not a diary. Many diary. But the one i'm talking about was a very manly and awesome diary that was stolen by a public menace and horribly vandalized by water and a sickeningly yellow substance in a swirly vortex of doom
Birdie (7:21 pm): your roommate flushed it down the toilet didn't he
(7:21 pm): YES HE FLUSHED IT DOWN THE EFFIN' TOILET
Bridie (7:21 pm): omg why did he do that?
(7:21 pm): Because he's a giant ass
(7:23 pm): And probably because I launched his half-dead goldfish out the window but that was only because he turned all of my white clothing pink in the laundry
Birdie (7:23 pm): i'm going to rephrase my question and ask why is there a feud between you and your roommate?
(7:23 pm): I… I actually don't know. The beginning of the year's kinda fuzzy but I bet it's something that he did
Birdie (7:24 pm): Honestly, I'm not all that surprised :P
(7:24 pm): What's that supposed to mean?!
Birdie (7:24 pm): Whatever you want it to
Birdie (7:24 pm): I have just realised that I can't remember what your roommate's name is
(7:24 pm): That's because I haven't told you
Birdie (7:25 pm): I am so sorry. I thought you did. If you think it's too much to share than It's ok I understand
(7:25 pm): Oh that's not it at all
(7:25 pm): I just have no idea what his name is
Birdie (7:26 pm): …
Birdie (7:26 pm): How can you live with someone and not know their name?
(7:27 pm): weeeell I think he might have mentioned it before but like when we first met I think he tried to poison my burrito and tried to kill me with an inflatable spork
Birdie (7:27 pm): dude what even is an inflatable spork
(7:27 pm): It is exactly what it says it is
(7:28 pm): A plastic balloon type thing that kind of looks like a spork when you blow air into it. It's aslo made out of the same material as a beach ball.
Birdie (7:28 pm): … just… how… why
(7:28 pm): I don't know birdie. I just don't know…
Birdie (7:29 pm): Ok but you have to at least try and figure out his name
(7:29 pm): naw too lazy
Birdie (7:32 pm): let me put it this way. If your roommate actually tries to kill you or severely injure you and you know it was intentional. What are you going to say when the police arrive and ask who did it?
(7:32 pm): I could always just say my roommate did it and they can look up his name themselves
Birdie (7:32 pm): but what if they press you for a name
Birdie (7:33 pm): as far as I know you only have one roommate and it can reflect badly on you if you don't even know his name. Gives him a motive for trying to kill you. You know, for being ignored
(7:33 pm): It is literally impossible to ignore this guy he is one of the most scariest shots I have ever met
Birdie (7:34 pm): And yet you still don't know his name
(7:34 pm): Fine. I guess you do kind of have a point. I'll see what I can do but no promises
Birdie (7:34 pm): That's all I can ask of you :)
Birdie (7:35 pm): well, good luck with your destruction of private property. Lunch is over for me and I need to go to class now
(7:36 pm): I should be wishing you good luck
Monday
(5:26 pm): UPDATE ON THE TIN FOIL PRANK
(5:27 pm): I am hiding in my friend's basement
Birdie (8:03 pm): Are you ok?
(8:05 pm): No, but I don't think my roommate can find me here so I'm like 75% sure I'm going to live to see morning.
Birdie (8:06 pm): wait are you still there?
(8:07 pm): yea Francis let me crash at his place while he goes christmas shopping
Birdie (8:08 pm): promise to be careful?
(8:10 pm): when it involves running from a pissed off criminology major, yes I will be careful.
Wednesday
Birdie (3:01 pm): it is literally a potato chip you don't need to vandalize his house to get your point across
(3:02 pm): O.O
Birdie (3:03 pm): MERDE WRONG NUMBER
Birdie (3:03 pm): I am so sorry about that, My brother's trying to do something illegal and I'm trying to talk him out of it
(3:05 pm): That didn't sound like you're trying to talk him out of it it looks like you're trying to talk him into it
Birdie (3:05 pm): there is no getting past you is there
(3:05 pm): nope and I wanna know what's going on
Birdie (3:05 pm): you're going to think it's weird
(3:06 pm): Are you kidding? You're brother's trying to vandalize someone's house over mysterious circumstances involving a potato chip. It might be weird but I bet it's entertaining as hell
Birdie (3:07 pm): Well I tried
Birdie (3:12 pm): aaaah so my twin brother Alfred runs this youtube channel that's been kind of getting a lot of attention lately and so he's started doing all these wild stunts for his videos. It started out as a gaming/vlogging channel but now he's doing this series that has a premise of something along the lines of 'video games in real life' and things have just kind of spiraled out of control at this point.
Birdie (3:19 pm): the episodes he's working on right now involved him jumping fences and stuff so while he was jumping into our neighbor's yard and before you make any judgments our neighbor is crazy into photography and he was doing this project where he was photographing miscellaneous food in random places outside, and he was taking a pic of a potato chip in the grass. Unfortunately it was by the fence so when Alfred jumped over he landed on the chip and crushed it which resulted in this huge fight between them and then Carlos started to throw balls of mud at alfred until my bro ran away screaming
Birdie (3:19 pm): Sorry, made a 'strategic retreat'
(3:21 pm): Holy crap that was a wild ride from start to finish. What's with your bro and pissing people off
Birdie (3:22 pm): He calls it a gift.
Birdie (3:23 pm): He's not always like that but he does have a knack for rubbing people the wrong way
(3:24 pm): I'll say. first Ivan and now Carlos? Who will Alfred piss off next!
Birdie (3:25 pm): probably Lars. Alfred accidently rubbed super glue into one of his bunny's fur when he tried to pet it. I don't think Lars found out yet but I'm betting he's going to in about an hour or so when he gets back from soccer practice.
(3:30 pm): mein gott this kid is crazy
Birdie (3:30 pm): well that's alfred
Birdie (3:30 pm): a crazy storm of hail, rain, and insanity in human form
(3:31 pm): If Alfred's a storm then you are more like soft flurries right before a raging blizzard.
(3:33 pm): like, my first impression of you was that you were this kind of shy and polite person who has never really gone outside of his comfort zone but now you're like this sarcastic, passive agressive lil shit who somehow still manages to be literally the most politest person that I know and I love that
Birdie (3:58 pm): X3 thank you! I'm going to take that as a compliment!
Birdie (4:00 pm): I wasn't really sure what my first impression was. I was mostly trying to figure out why you just texted me out of the blue like that. But you've actually kind of grown on me. At least now I'm looking forward to our conversations. Even if they are at three in the morning. And you always ask for my opinion on things and you always stick around even when I don't respond for a while, and it's nice
(4:14 pm): yes
(4:14 pm): shower me with compliments
Birdie (5:45 pm): never mind you're an ass wipe
(6:01 pm): I'm gonna take that as a compliment ;)
Birdie (6:02 pm): only you Gil. Only you.
Thursday
(3:55 am): I hate philosophy
Birdie (3:58 am): it's four in the goddamn morning go back to bed
(3:59 am): Jokes on you I haven't even gone to sleep yet and I don't plan on it
Birdie (4:00 am): Why are you like this
(4:00 am): because I hate myself
(4:00 am): but seriously my philosophy textbook doesn't make any sense and epistemology is physically hurting my brain
Birdie (4:01 am): You do realise that I have no idea what that means
Birdie (4:02 am): They don't offer philosophy at my school
(4:02 am): when you get to college and they offer it whatever you do not take it
Birdie: what's so bad about it
(4:03 am): the prof wants a 5,000 word essay about whether or not hands exist
Birdie (4:06 am): ...
Birdie (4:06 am): It's too early for this go to bed
(4:06 am): I have to finish this now the essay was assigned two weeks ago and I didn't start until yesterday. It's due in exactly four hours and 38 minutes.
Birdie (4:06 am): Why on earth did you wait so long
(4:07 am): I HAVE MID TERMS TO THINK ABOUT OK THEY ARE NEXT WEEK AND I'M A LITTLE STRESSED RIGHT NOW
(4:09 am): ah sorry, didn't mean to txt yell
(4:10 am): and I guess I kind of procrastinated a little
(4:13 am): you know when there's something you have to do and you know that your potential future is hinging on whether or not you complete it well or not and you just get so overwhelmed that you freak and do anything but that task in an attempt to make it go away but it just never does and you are left with a huge problem as the deadline approaches and pretty soon you are sitting on your bed crying with a half eaten tub of ice cream in your lap as you physically feel your life force drain out of you like it's being sucked out by a dementor and you just sit there wondering what's the point we're all going to die eventually. Everything is worthless
Birdie (4:18 am): That was oddly specific are you ok.
(4:18 am): no
(4:19 am): I still have a thousand words to go
Birdie (4:22 am): If it was page limitations instead of a word count then I would recommend making all of your periods and commas two sizes bigger and add an extra space after every sentance. It might seem like only a small difference but I turned a one and a half page paper into a three page one using that method
(4:23 am): O.o
(4:23 am): You. Are. A. Genius.
(4:23 am): I wish I had your number last month when I had that awful history paper
Birdie (4:24 am): I probably wouldn't have been able to help. My twin only told me about it when I was freaking out about my English essay last week.
(4:26 am): Your brother is a gift from the heavens
Birdie (4:26 am): ehh maybe
Birdie (4:26 am): go back to your essay now
(4:27 am): noooooooooooo i dun wanna
(4:27 am): everything looks crappy and I don't even want to reread the stuff I've already written because I just know it's going to be like really bad
Birdie (4:27 am): You can fix all of that later. Focus on reaching the word count for now
(4:27 am): fine
Birdie (4:27 am): I gotta go back to sleep now I have school tomorrow, er today
(4:28 am): k sweet dreams
(4:51 am): i hate hands
(4:51 am): hands are not real
(4:52 am): Birdie?
(5:17 am): I'm just going to txt you because I need to distract myself even tho you're asleep
(5:20 am): I hope you turned your phone off because I don't want to accidentally wake you up.
(5:21 am): If I wake you up then feel free to shoot me a txt and maybe shoot me for reals bruh
(5:22 am): jk don't shoot me I want to live
(5:25 am): My trusted right hand man has fallen to the enemy. He severed me well in our quest to find the truth within these dastardy questions that will never surrender their answers. My troops, that had once boasted ten thousand loyal soldiers within its ranks, has dwindled to a lonely one hundred.
(5:28 am): Most, if not all of my men have sustained injuries, be they physical or mental. They cannot fight on like this. We are outskilled and outnumbered. The only thing I can do now is to keep our morals high enough to ignite a spark of determination in my troops haunted and glazed eyes.
(5:30 am): We will fight on. No matter how many times this philosophy essay from the darkest pits of hell claws and snarls at us I will not be stopped. I am the only thing standing between the monster and my fragile GPA. And I will not back down. Not until I've breathed my last breath, used up the last of my strength, and I will fight until I am out cold
(5:39 am): Ok I'm cold. Who the fuck turned off the heater it's like -10 degrees in here
(5:40 am): Celsius not fahrenheit
(5:50 am): I want to drown a pineapple in a pool of mountain dew
(6:28 am): I REACHED THE WORD COUNT BRING OUT THE BEER AND FIREWORKS
(6:31 am): oh god it's almost 6:30 I literally have fifteen minutes before I usually wake up
(6:32 am): Screw it fifteen minute nap is better than no sleep
(7:37 am): I regret everything
Friday
Birdie (7:31 pm): mon dieu gil, you seriously need to publish a book. Or join the drama club.
Birdie (7:31 pm): anyway, have you turn in your essay?
(8:16 pm): ya. It was painful though. I fell asleep for a few minutes during math
Birdie (8:16 pm): What was the lecture about?
(8:16 pm): god I don't know something related to calculus since it's a calc class
(8:17 pm): Probably should get the notes off of someone. The problem is that I hate everyone in that class and everyone in that class hates me
Birdie (8:18 pm): What did you do
(8:19 pm): why do you automatically assume that it's something I did
Birdie (8:19 pm): Because it usually is
(8:19 pm): I am hurt birdie, I thought you had more faith in me.
Birdie (8:20 pm): Oh woes you
(8:20 pm): I see that the living embodiment of awesomeness that is myself is not appreciated here
Birdie (8:22 pm): no but seriously I want to hear this story
(8:22 pm): How do you even know if there even is a story, maybe I just greatly dislike my classmates' general existence
Birdie (8:25 pm): Because I know you well enough to know that there is always an interesting story when you are concerned. And even if it's the most boring crap in the universe you will always find away to spin it so that it's the most highly entertaining thing ever
(8:26 pm): tru that XD
(8:27 pm): ok first off, my crazy roommate is in my class
Bridie (8:28 pm): omg you are literally in the same class as him how do you not know his name? Like wtf? How does that happen?
(8:28 pm): It just does! I usually space out during attendance unless they call my name out. If you really want I can probably find out his name tomorrow and let you know
Birdie (8:29 pm): It's not just for my benefit Gil, you need to know who you share a room with
(8:29 pm): But I do know who I share a room with, it's with a complete psycho
Birdie (8:29 pm): -.- you know what moving on
Birdie (8:29 pm): Your teacher must have their hands full with the two of you in his class
(8:29 pm): ikr it's literally the only class I have with him (the crazy roommate) and it's also one of my least favorite classes because math sucks, but to make matters worse there's this girl who's from Hungary or something like that who always seems to want to introduce my face to her skillet.
(8:34 pm): I literally have no idea how she fits that thing in her backpack. Like, where do all of her textbooks go when there's a freakin' frying pan of all thing taking up all of her space.
Bridie (8:38 pm): you know some very interesting people, don't you
(8:38 pm): it gets better
Birdie (8:38 pm): oh boy do tell
(8:40 pm): the Hungarian girl, her name is Elizaveta, is probably the only person who I actually don't mind being around for more than two minutes in that class.
Birdie (8:41 pm): Is your class that bad that the only person you like is the one that physically abuses you?
(8:42 pm): NO
(8:42 pm): I mean sure she hits me with her frying pan all the time whenever she thinks I'm being a weirdo, and alway yells at me when I try to ask people out on dates and always criticizes my study habits and wow I'm making it seem like our relationship is unhealthy
Birdie (8:44 pm): From where I'm standing it kind of does seem that way.
(8:46 pm): But it's actually not. Like she's one of the few people who doesn't just write me off as a loudmouth show off. I know it seems that way to some people who have seen us interact but we have a lot in common. We play the same video games, we listen to the same music, she's into progressive government policies, I'm into progressive government policies, she plays piano with her boyfriend Roderich and I sometimes accompanied them on the flute. She's also really good at fencing and I did fencing as a kid so we're kind of like sparring partners whenever we have free time.
Birdie (8:47 pm): So you have a love-hate relationship going on there
(8:47 pm): yea something along those lines
(8:47 pm): but just to be clear it is completely platonic.
Birdie (8:47 pm): got it. Platonic relationship.
(8:47 pm): The others are either creeps or they're too idk how to say it. Flimsy
Birdie (8:47 pm): Flimsy?
(8:50 pm): I don't know how to describe it in english ok? It's like they don't care about doing anything with their lives other than partying. And admittedly that seems like a cool lifestyle in the short run, but I am paying thousands of dollars to go to college in America compared to how much tuition costs in Germany
(8:50 pm): u know how much I'm paying? 40,000 USD per year
(8:51 pm): How much is tuition in german? Nothing. It's literally free.
(8:51 pm): I am so incredibly lucky my Opa's loaded
Birdie (8:51 pm): The price for collage is ridiculous in the States. For the cost of one semester in an american university I could go through all four years of undergrad school in Canada
Birdie (8:53 pm): I would personally prefer to go to a university in Canada if not for the cheap prices then for the fact that I feel more at home there than in america. But my parents kind of want me to stay close to home so I am most likely going to end up going somewhere more local.
(8:55 pm): If you want to go to university somewhere then do it. You're parent's opinions shouldn't matter that much that you limit yourself. It's your life not theirs.
Birdie (8:57 pm): The thing is my brother has always been the wild card in the family. If anything he's going to be the one who decides to go to a collage on the other side of the country or even on the other side of the world. I mean he's already applied to a crap ton of collages in the West coast and abroad.
Birdie (8:59 pm): My parents have already prepared for that. It was tough but they know that even if Alfred ends up far away from home they're going to have one twin that stays close to them. I think they kind of expect me to stay in Massachusetts. I'm not bold, I'm not a rule breaker, I'm a very quiet person in real life, and I've never strayed far from home by myself.
Birdie (9:03 pm): They haven't said anything about that outright but I can tell by the way they acted while they were helping me with the application process.
Birdie (9:04 pm): I don't think they meant to do this but they were acting kind of uncomfortable when I brought up colleges in Canada or even Michigan or New Jersey.
Birdie (9:04 pm): I still applied to some places in Canada but the majority was in Boston and around Massachusetts.
(9:05 pm): I now have the inexplicable urge to hug you
Birdie (9:05 pm): d'aww thank you ^.^
(9:05 pm): Like I said before, it should be your choice where you want to go. Have you been accepted to any of them yet?
Birdie (9:05 pm): Yeah a couple but I'm still waiting for some more responses.
(9:05 pm): Were any of them to Canadian colleges?
Birdie (9:06 pm): yes some
(9:10 pm): Then go for it. Choose the school that you like the most. It might come as a shock to your parents but they're going to have to deal with it. You are 18 years old. You are an adult (at least according to German laws. I still don't fucking know what the point of the 21 year drinking age thing is in America) At some point you are going to have to leave home and start making your way through the world by yourself. Your parents can't be the deciding factor in every decision you make from here on out.
Birdie (9:11 pm): I'm actually still 17 but I will be 18 on July 1st.
(9:11 pm): doesn't matter the point is that if you want to go to Canada for college, then go to Canada.
Birdie (9:12 pm): honestly gil, thank you so so much. Like, you don't know how much I needed to hear this. I've been struggling with this question since like May of last year. I'm going to do it.
(9:13 pm): YES! DO IT! FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! DON'T STOP! NEVER BACK DOWN!
(10:42 pm): FUCK I HAVE MIDTERMS
Birdie (10:47 pm): shall I prepare your funeral?
(10:47 pm): yes
Author's Note:
Idk about you guys but I am ready to see 2016 DIE tonight! Let's all promise to work harder in 2017 and fix up the mess 2016 left behind. I mean there was some good things that happened in 2k16 like Moana, Hamilton, and Pokemon Go but like so much bad stuff… Fuck 2016 you sucked over all.
You guys are probably wondering why I haven't updated this in a while. The answer is life got in the way. More specifically school (As you can see Gilbert was working on a huge essay, and that mirrors me irl) , and me getting sick and general procrastination. And I missed the deadline of when I promised this fic to be finished by like a week and I still have like three or four chapters left -.- But to make up for that this is one of the longest chapters I've written yet! Like, dang these things get longer and longer.
Also I hoped you guys liked the bits of fluff I sprinkled around. Matthew and Gilbert are really starting to bond. It's only a matter of time before they meet in real life ;D However before that happens there are a couple of plot points I need to wrap up. I had like three different plots that I could do and you guys are either going to die happy or drown in a pool of your own tears.
But first WHO DO YOU GUYS THINK IS GILBERT'S ROOMMATE? It's definitely a Hetalia Character, and I have sprinkled hints here and there. Let me know what you think in a review. if you get it right I'll give you a shout out in the next chapter.
If you guys are interested in what I'm planning in 2017, I will be posting a lot more PruCan fics, a Hetalia/avengers crossover, a couple of miraculous ladybug fics, and a whole lot of Self-Inserts from various different fandoms. And of course I will be finishing up this fanfic and my other fanfic In Other News. And who knows what else I'll write?
Have a happy 2017 everyone. May the new year treat you well.