Chapter Two

Solidify

"Whatever, I don't care," I moved away from where she stood by my dresser, "have fun." Suddenly the Seventeen magazine lying open on my bed was very interesting. I took my sweet time to flip through the pages with the beauty plans, and looked up after about a minute of loaded silence.

I immediately recognized the hurt expressed on Sandy's face, her shoulders and arms were frozen in a shrug. This only made me more annoyed, like she was the one allowed to be mad in this situation.

"What?" I snapped.

She scoffed and furrowed her brow at me, "You know, you're only angry because you want to go so bad, but they'd never ask you."

We met eyes then, hers widened at first, maybe taken aback by what she said, but returned to normal just as quickly. I sat on the bed becoming more embarrassed by the second, because what she said was true, all I wanted in the world was to be included on their adventures, but they'd never give the idea a second thought.

By the time I finally cracked, I had enough anger building up inside me to boil water, "I hope you really enjoy this one time, Sandy, 'cause once my brother gets you to suck his dick he'll never ask you again."

She was out the door before I even finished my sentence, which filled me with some sick sort of satisfaction, knowing that I had wounded her too. It wasn't even that fight that ruined our friendship, and changed everything. It was because I was wrong. It was because he loved her.

By the time I left the DX, the Friday after I got back to Tulsa, I felt a certainty that the stars were finally aligning in my favor. I entered the main shop of the gas station just looking for a Pepsi and a quick visit with Soda, but I left with the possibility of the life that I had always craved as a middle-schooler. I saw her as soon as I opened the door, she was hard to miss despite her petite frame, maybe it was because of her ink black hair, or her vibrant blue eyes. Only Ponyboy would have the good sense to reject her.

Before my parents died, I would have cast her a quick smile, if she even bothered to acknowledge my presence, but I made a decision right then and there, the summer of '65 would be different. Little did I know how right I would be.

I lit myself a cigarette, brushed all of my hair in front of my left shoulder, and made my way over to Angela Shepard.

"Didn't think I'd see you here. What? One Curtis ain't enough?" I called out cheekily. She had been leaning against the counter, next to two other girls, flirting with whatever preteen guy they had hired to man the register.

I never would be able to forget the way her black curls went flying, as she whipped her head to look at me over her shoulder. She had her mouth in a tuff pout, the end of a lollipop sticking out of the right side. Her eyes took me in, I tried not to shift my feet as her gaze lingered on my kitten heels for a second longer. She didn't say anything after, just shot me an even warier expression, and I worried that perhaps she didn't know who I was.

I moved further into the store until I was only a few feet away from her, "Cigarette?" I offered.

She accepted it, her mouth forming something between a smile and a smirk, which almost set me at ease. She let herself exhale a small cloud of smoke, before saying, "Haven't seen your brother in a while, he used to come down to the Ribbon all the time with that Two-Bit character, now I hear he's moved on to Buck's."

I took the opportunity to prop my elbow on the counter next to her. "You're kidding." Her smile widened. "My big brother would keel over if you told him that."

"Just what I've heard," she flicked the ashes of her cigarette onto the tile floor, then smiled sweetly at the cashier when he attempted to protest, shutting him up quickly. "You wanna come over? We were gonna do nails and get hammered."

I walked back outside with Angela and the two other girls, one I recognized as Steve's girlfriend Evie, the other was older, with flaming red hair and a pretty pink tinge to her skin. I followed them over to a black Chevy. Soda was fueling up a brown Cordoba at the pump next to us, he moved his ball cap further back on his head and looked at me like I was a crazy person when I sat down in the back seat.

Angela settled in behind the wheel, started the car, revved the engine, then pulled out of the gas station quickly, her tires squealing in protest. Evie sat next to me, she nudged me with her elbow and grinned as she brought a silver flask out of her purse. I took a couple of swigs once she handed it to me, and laughed when Angela and the redhead started belting out the lyrics to "I Got You Babe".

It was always safe for me to pine after Tim Shepard, we had never actually been in the same room together, so I never had to worry that my brothers would catch me ogling. Maybe that's why I never thought twice about Dally, as far as my brothers were concerned, he was off limits. It's embarrassing to say, but I had this entire person fleshed out in my mind that definitely wasn't the real leader of the Shepard gang. What he wanted, what he felt, his whole world, and I knew that it was pathetic, that there was no way Tim was actually a hopeless romantic deep down inside, but I still fantasized.

The Shepard's house was more run down than ours, without a porch, I guessed that Tim's mother never bothered to weed or mow the lawn the way Darry did. The outside was an earthy brick, with a haphazardly patched roof, a roof in need of patching most likely due to the old growth cluster of pines right beside their left wall.

I was starting to feel the whiskey softening the edges of my vision, as I walked up the steps and through Angela's front door, which was already open. The entryway, if it could even be called that, split off into a hallway to the kitchen on the left, and a door to the bathroom on the right. Straight ahead was the den, in which there were two people sitting, a dark haired boy, the back of his head facing me, and a greasy chick, with pointy, red, nails. The sharp queasiness of anticipation rose in my chest, because part of me was dying for it to be Tim, and part of me knew that I would die if it was Tim.

The dark haired boy heard the door slam, and turned his head lazily so that he could cock an eyebrow at us. It was Curly Shepard, the wily kid who had almost burned a hole through my little brother's finger, the kid who was dumb enough to think that climbing a flag pole was cool enough to justify a broken arm.

"Ang, how many fuckin'…don't close the damn door, it's hot as balls in here." The girl sitting next to him tried in vain to bring his attention back to her, after he had removed his arm from around her shoulders.

Angela eyed the two, planting her hands on her waist. "Well, I like it closed, all you're doin' is lettin' hotter air into the house." She nodded her head at Evie and the redhead, who began to walk up the stairs.

I started to follow after Angela, and was halfway up the stairs when I heard Curly say, "Good to have you back, Curtis." His side profile was to me, his girl's hands stroking his jaw, their noses inches apart, but I knew he was side-eyeing me, looking at me just before she kissed him.

"Maybe I'll paint my nails all red and tacky like Darla's." Angela said before taking a long mouthful from a bottle of bourbon. Evie laughed hard enough to drape herself over the redhead's lap, who I learned was named Tricia.

I was having a rough go at painting my toe nails, and could barely manage to finish my right foot after the four shots I had taken once we got to the room. My hand trembled as I moved to finish the big toe of my left foot, and I smeared nail polish all over myself. "Shit," I hissed.

Angela laughed her machine-gun-laugh that I was still getting used to, and clapped her hands like a seal. "Girl, you should just give u—", she hiccupped, "—no way you're gonna finish that."

I took the bottle out of Angela's hand and took a swig, that I could hardly keep down. I started to feel woozy once I set the bottle down on the carpeted floor, the smell of nail polish and alcohol burning my nostrils. I reached into my purse for a cigarette, and only then realized that I had given Angela my last one.

I stood up too abruptly and toppled back into Angela's closet. I righted my self as best I could, ignoring the three girls laughing at me. "I need some air." I straightened my miniskirt, and kept my fingertips on the wall just so I wouldn't trip down the stairs and break my neck.

I noticed Curly and his chick were no longer in the den, as I made my way to the screen door to the backyard. I squinted my eyes at the afternoon sun, and leaned against the back of the house.

"Uh-oh, 'Lil Lizzy's wasted." I heard Curly say to my left. It had been so bright outside I hadn't even noticed him lounging in a lawn chair, puffing cigarette smoke.

"Mind if I bum one?"

He got up then, walked over to me with a cocky look on his face, which could have worked on me had I not known what and idiot he was. He handed me his and I took a long drag, the nicotine making me feel heavy and relaxed.

"You know, only my brothers call me that." He looked at me hungrily as I took another inhale.

"Two-Bit ain't your brother." He said, still staring at me, then he leant down as I exhaled, close enough to my mouth that I flinched. His shotgun inhale left me feeling nauseous, and antsy, all I could think about was how much I wanted to go home.

Curly couldn't seem to gauge the uneasiness in my eyes, as he moved his thumb, under my shirt and along the bottom of my bra. I took another drag from his cigarette, feeling the rush of tobacco mixing with alcohol, I felt weighty again, and let myself go numb. Curly stooped his head down, brushing his lips against my neck, and I sighed.

I couldn't quite figure out, or remember, how I had wound up at Buck's. After Curly got to third base, we intercepted Angela and the girls walking down the stairs, and the next thing I knew we were pulling into a gravel lot outside of the old roadhouse.

There were packs of people lounging out front on the hoods of cars, people dangling their legs out windows on the top floor. I felt less sick than before, but not at all mentally prepared to walk through the door and into the mass of noise that awaited me on the other side. Curly didn't give me much of a choice though, he stood close behind me, his arms holding my waist, and moved me into the house, toward the bar.

A voice broke out from the crowd and bellowed, "Heya, Curly." And then we started moving toward a table against the far wall.

I managed to dig my heels in once we made it halfway across the room, and he granted me a brief pause.

"I'm gonna get somethin' to drink," I turned to look up at him. He nodded then planted a deep kiss on me before I could back away. I started to get angry when I heard the catcalls coming from around the room, mostly because I knew that it was his intention to receive them. He gave me a pat on the rear before brushing past me. I knew the alcohol had taken the fight out of me, I started to wish that I hadn't drank so much that day.

Had I known who was waiting for me at the bar, I wouldn't have gone anywhere near it. I glanced up just in time to see Two-Bit looking stern, his grey eyes stormy, something so unusual of him. I tried to think of an escape as quickly as possible, but he had me by the shoulder before I could make a run for it.

"What the hell do you think you're doin' here?" The harshness of his voice caught me off guard, and I tried not to shrink away from him.

I mustered up the courage to say, "I'm just tryin' to get a drink, Two-Bit, I don't need you to play the Curtis Guardian right now." He almost smiled at that, and I hoped that I had softened his resolve enough that he wouldn't care to tell Darry.

"Nice try, 'Lil Lizzy, I'm drivin' you home, come on." He led me away from the bar and back outside. I felt a surge of relief upon realizing I wouldn't have to put up with anymore advances from Curly that night, no doubt he would have wanted to take me upstairs into a vacant bedroom toward the end of the night. I squeezed my eyes shut at the thought.

Two-Bit opened the passenger side door for me, and shut it once I brought my right leg into his car, which made me roll my eyes, as if I was going to try to run back into Buck's.

It wasn't until he had shifted comfortably into the driver's seat, and started the car that he cast me a sideways glance and asked, "You been drinkin' with Angela Shepard?"

"Why'd you think that?"

"A little birdy told me, that they saw you left the DX with the witch herself." He kept his gaze ahead as we pulled out of the parking lot.

"Soda told you…yeah, yeah I was drinkin' with her, big fuckin' deal."

"I'm sure your big brothers'll feel the same way."

I groaned and rested the back of my neck on the head rest. "Please, Two-Bit, please don't tell Darry."

"I wouldn't," he cast me a pointed look, "Only I saw you with Curly Shepard back there, and I think I'd rather your big brother lay into you now, than have to put up with that little shit suckin' your face for the rest of the summer."

"Believe me, Curly and I ain't ever gonna cross paths after today."

He lit the cigarette that he had stashed behind his ear, taking a drag before he said playfully, "Well I don't believe you, you're like a different person since you been back."

"Maybe I am…could I have one of those?"

He chuckled, then gestured to his glove box where I found a full pack. He watched me from the time I brought one to my lips and let loose my first exhale, then he turned back to the road, shaking his head and smiling.

"Jesus, I should'a known the trouble you'd be this summer, since the day you got back I should'a known. You had that little skirt on," he nodded his head toward my lap, "man, if I was your big brothers, I'd be shakin' in my britches."