Chapter 2:

AN: Thanks for the all the tremendous support! Sorry for the long wait.

I mentioned that this story was originally intended as a one shot that had enough legs for two chapters and an epilogue. After some thought, the story can be longer; I just need to re-work the outline.

My concern is that I'm still trying to finish My Best Friend's Girl + there's another Tara POV S7 AU that I'd planned. Just don't know how I'll get it all done with a busy FT job. Also as most of you know, I'm a VERY slow writer.

But I'll leave it to you guys:

- This story can be longer, but I need to finish My Best Friend's Girl first because I don't have the time or talent to work on stories simultaneously (I admire those writers who can). The other Tara POV story will have to be pushed to later this year (or longer)

- This story can end as planned (this chapter + epilogue) then I finish MBFG and start the new Tara story

THANKS!

December 24

"Good morning, Dr. Knowles. Can I help you with anything?"

The nurse at the reception desk gazes at her expectantly - almost too eager to drop everything and jump to Tara's bidding. Apparently it's now common knowledge that Dr. Namid had offered her the Chief of Surgery job - since she walked into St. Thomas this morning, the hospital staff's been falling over themselves to be accommodating to her, as if it was a done deal that she'd accept the position. But it's not… there's no way she'll be moving back here. Especially not after this morning.

Tara flashes her a small smile and shakes her head, asking if the twins' parents had arrived.

"They're in the waiting room. If you want, I can bring them to Dr. Namid's office, and you can meet with them in there. He told us you could use his office while you're here." The older woman wrinkles a brow as she peers at Tara curiously, astutely picking up on the strain Tara had been trying to hide. "Are you okay, doctor?"

The vision of Jax's stony face invades her brain - how his inscrutable blue eyes had avoided hers, how he'd sped away without a word after dropping her off in front of the hospital…

Tara shoves the images away, shaking her head again as she takes the twins' file from the nurse's proffered hand. "I'm fine…Thank you."

Walking down the hallway to Dr. Namid's office, she forces herself to think about her patients - of what she'll say to their undoubtedly anxious parents. They'd all been so happy and relieved last night after the twins' safe birth - it'd been the best of holiday gifts for the previously childless couple. And now it's up to Tara to tell them what to expect down the road: many more hours in the hospital visiting their babies in the NICU, weeks of doctors' visits once they're discharged, months - maybe even years - of carefully monitoring and dispensing their medication…

But it's worth it. Tara feels a real smile lighting her face as she thinks about what these lucky parents will face down the road with those two adorable babies. Come what may, it's definitely going to be worth it - children always are.

She steps into her old mentor's office, glancing briefly about the room before hanging her jacket and purse in the small closet. It's hardly changed since she worked for him back in high school so many years ago, just a few more pictures and certificates adorning the walls - a tribute to the skilled surgeon and family man who'd climbed to the top of his field without losing sight of what truly mattered. Something she needs to embrace herself.

Once again unbidden thoughts of taking over for her old mentor percolates in her brain. As Chief of Surgery at a small, albeit decently staffed hospital like St. Thomas, she'd be able to achieve her professional goals without sacrificing the most important relationship in her life. Based on what Dr. Namid told her about the job and the hospital's patient traffic, she could actually spend more time at home - which wouldn't be possible if she ever got promoted in San Francisco.

Sighing, Tara plops down in the desk chair. Who's she kidding? There's no way she's ever moving back to Charming. Once she's done with this meeting, she's getting the hell out of this town. For good this time.

Fortunately, the nurse arrives with the twins' parents before Tara's out-of-control brain could fuck with her any more. Rising, she beams them a bright smile and extends her hand. "Sheriff & Mrs. Roosevelt - good morning, hope you were able to get some sleep. You'll be happy to know that your babies are doing great…"

Her eyes fly open as she jolts awake, desperate to escape the vicious claws of yet another nightmare. Sitting up, Tara cradles her head in her hands, trying to control her ragged breathing. Just a dream, just a dream she chants silently, rocking back and forth as she forces herself to relax. For too long those nightmares tortured her every time she closed her eyes to sleep, but after some professional therapy she'd learned the techniques to keep them at bay.

Except during the holidays. Over the past few years, her demons have chosen the days around Christmas to return - as if celebrating their own inauspicious birth. Her only chance to ward them off had been to go to bed too exhausted from work and life to dream. Not that she got much sleep last night…

Once her heart rate slows to normal, Tara lifts her head and glances at her surroundings; although still slightly disoriented, she recognizes the dimly lit bedroom instantly. SAMCRO's cabin. She'd know it anywhere, given all the times she'd come here as a teen - partying with the Jax and their friends, hiding out when her dad got into one of his more violent moods, skipping school so she and Jax could spend the days (and nights) fucking each other until neither could move.

Based on the twinges in her muscles and between her legs, some things never change. After leaving the hot spring, Jax convinced her to spend the night in the cabin with him; it was closer than the half hour ride back to Charming and…Well, he didn't have to twist her arm - considering that once they arrived here, she'd practically dragged him off his bike and inside her body.

Damn it. Clutching the blanket tightly around her, she shakes her head - trying to clear her mind of both the residual images from her sadistically violent dream and last night's unbearably erotic sex fest. What the hell is she supposed to do now? How could she possibly explain this to…

"Good morning…" Tara's mind goes blank at the sight of her not-so-ex-boyfriend leaning against the door frame drinking coffee. He says something else but nothing registers to her other than the vision of his powerful, sculpted body wearing nothing but those familiar white boxer shorts.

Her eyes greedily soak up the rock-hard muscles bulging in his arms like tightly hewn baseballs, the smooth and solidly cut planes of his chest and abs - instantly remembering how thoroughly she'd caressed and kissed all that delicious bare skin and more.

"See something you like?" He smirks at her before taking another sip of his coffee, his blue eyes twinkling at her over the rim.

She shrugs, forcing a casualness belied by her racing heartbeat and the growing dampness between her thighs, and eyes the mug in his hand. "That coffee looks good."

"Oh yeah?" His teasing smirk spreads into a full-blown leer. "Well I'm willing to share - depending on what you'd give me." He lowers the mug to rest just above the waistband of his boxers, luring her predatory gaze back to the powerful perfection of his body.

Tara suppresses a giggle then arches an imperious brow at him, just like she used to do back in high school when he'd smugly tease her over her near-uncontrollable lust for him. Well just like high school, two can play that game…

"Oh, I guess I'll just have to get up and get my own," she replies airily, stretching her arms above her head - causing the blanket to drop to her waist. Her lips twist with a Jax Teller smirk as his gaze predictably drops to ogle her bare breasts; she hopes he doesn't drop the mug since she actually does want some of that coffee.

Within seconds her hope comes to fruition as he climbs into bed next to her, thrusting the mug at her so he can fill his own hands with her breasts. "Mmm…Thanks Baby," she purrs, basking in the electrifying sensation of his fingers tweaking and stroking her nipples and his mouth nuzzling and sucking her neck.

To hell with the coffee; she manages to place the mug on the nightstand before turning to him and fusing her mouth to his. Jax could rouse her better than a million hits of caffeine - and tastes infinitely better.

He pushes her on to her back then looms above her, planting his hands on either side of her head to support his weight. She can feel his excitement rubbing against her stomach and clenches her thighs in anticipation - only to wince slightly at the faint twinge. She definitely gorged herself a little too much last night…

"Don't worry, Babe," Jax grins down at her, apparently proud of his handiwork despite her discomfort. Asshole. "I'll make you feel better…I promise."

She scowls in return, which earns her a chuckle since she makes no move whatsoever to roll out from under him. But any irritation, real or faked, dissolves instantly at the feel of his lips gliding down her body and his hands stroking her legs before lifting them over his shoulders.

Tara curls her fingers in his hair at the spine-melting sensation of his bristly cheeks brushing against her thighs, his strong hands massaging her ass, his hot and hungry mouth lapping at her plump pussy lips then flicking and sucking her swollen clit. Any soreness or discomfort long forgotten, she presses her calves tighter against his back - lifting her hips so he can bury his relentless, swirling tongue deeper inside of her.

As intense, electrifying pleasure swamps her once again, Tara claws at the bed sheets and screams his name. Again. Again. And Again.

Damn it! Tara slams her hand against her steering wheel in frustration. Despite her best efforts to purge Jax from her mind, he's managed to shove his way front and center of her thoughts - like he's done since they were kids. And now, she's got a slew of tantalizing new memories from their recent reunion - hell she can still feel him pulsing deep inside of her, his lips nuzzling her neck, his big hands stroking her skin. Shit.

Pressing hard on the gas, she grips the wheel tighter as tears threaten once again. Not all the new memories were good ones; especially saying goodbye to him…again.

"I'll be home soon, I promise. I love you, Stevie."

She disconnects her phone, takes a deep breath then turns to head back to the cabin - only to spot Jax striding towards her. Judging from the bad-tempered expression on his face and those glittering blue eyes glaring daggers at her, he must've overheard the end of her phone call.

"Who were you talking to?" Blocking her path, he doesn't even attempt to apologize for shamelessly eavesdropping on a conversation she'd left the cabin to keep private.

Darting a quick glance at the cabin in the distance, Tara considers a range of lies and half-truths she could feed the second-most dangerously possessive man she's ever known but instantly dismisses them. He'd always been able to see through her bullshit.

"It's not your concern, Jax." Knowing that she may have tossed gasoline on a lit fuse, she brushes past him hurriedly - hoping he'd be too incensed to chase after her. Or maybe he wouldn't give a shit - it's been years after all; just because it'd felt so real last night, doesn't mean they'd truly reconnected. She ignores the sharp pang in her chest at the thought; her rational brain needs him to think of her as just another fuck - the way he'd treated all the girls before, and most likely, after her.

But like their high school days, the rational rarely won out over hot-blooded emotion. "You've got to be fucking kidding me, Tara!" Grabbing her arm, he pulls her towards him until his lips hover tantalizingly above hers.

"I've spent the better part of last night and early this morning inside of you." His voice grows dangerously soft as his grip on her arm tightens. "Everything about you is my goddamn concern…" He lifts her left hand so his lips could brush against her ringless fingers. "One. More. Time…Who the fuck were you talking to?"

Tara stares into his beautiful, ruthless face - torn between telling him to stay the hell out of her life and throwing her arms around his neck and never letting go. She never wanted to tell her story again, never wanted to relive those brutal memories…but it'd be inevitable if she told him the truth.

Closing her eyes, she takes a deep breath then looks up to meet Jax's intense stare. "Her name's Stevie Knowles. She's my daughter."

And it all comes down to you
Well you know that it does, well
Lightning strikes maybe once maybe twice
Oh and it lights up the night
And you see you're a gypsy
You see you're a gypsy*

The smoky voice of her daughter's namesake could usually snap Tara out of her darker moods - it'd gotten her through those nearly unbearable years after her breakup with Jax, through the lonely days of college and medical school, even through the nightmare before and after her baby girl's birth. But somehow not even her failsafe song could pull her out of this new misery.

Jax said nothing, his face a stony mask, as Tara tells him about Stevie, her five-year-old angel. Born on Christmas Day, Tara's sweet baby had barely survived the savage attack that threatened to end her life before she even entered the world. And Tara hadn't been able to help save her; she'd lapsed into a coma after the violent, near fatal beating - not waking until weeks after her daughter's birth. No, it'd been the local police, alerted by the neighbors, who'd stormed in to save mother and daughter from the vicious fists of the baby's psychotic father. ATF Agent Joshua Kohn.

For as long as she lives, Tara will never forget the murderous rage contorting Jax's face as he listens to her. Oh, she's seen him angry before - more times than she could count, but this…he's never looked this ferociously homicidal even when beating the shit out of the drunk, clueless idiots stupid enough to make a pass at her back in the day. No, he's staring at her with the savage, bloodthirsty eyes of a man who could kill with his bare hands.

It terrifies her. Not that she's worried he'd hurt her; never in a million years could she ever think that, not when he'd spent so much of his young life protecting her. No, what scares her is how close she'd come to forgetting about SAMCRO - about the violent, criminal MC that had meant more to nineteen-year-old Jackson Teller than a clean life with her. She couldn't possibly expose her innocent baby girl to that world. Not after they'd been through. Not ever.

"Well this has been fun, but I really need to get to the hospital. I have a meeting with the twins' parents in an hour." She takes advantage of his brooding silence to pull away from him and stomp back to the cabin to grab her purse then walk out the front door to wait for him by his bike.

Waiting for him to emerge from the cabin, she tries to distract herself by reading the texts and emails on her phone. She still has so much to do before Stevie's birthday tomorrow; this trip to Charming had set her far behind - although for a good cause. Tara will never regret the hours it took to save the Roosevelt twins - and, despite the pain it's going to cause her later, she'll never regret the incredible, breathtaking hours spent in the arms of the man she'll always love.

And can never have.

"Tara…" She looks up from her phone to find him standing there, hands jammed in his pockets while he gazes at her - uncertainty mingling with the rage still puncturing his blue eyes. "Look, I…"

She shakes her head. "I have to get to St. Thomas, Jax. And after that, I need to go home…to San Francisco. That's where I belong - where Steve and I belong. I can't come back here anymore."

Jax opens his mouth, as if to argue with her, but then changes his mind and remains silent - opting to strap on his helmet then straddle his bike; the roar of the Harley coming to life - clearly signifying where he belonged.

Jax must've agreed with her decision to return to San Francisco for good because he never said another word to her, not even when they arrived at the hospital - choosing to drive off without a word instead.

It's only right that you should
Play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost, and what you had, and what you lost**

The blaring horn breaks through the fog of Tara's thoughts and Lindsey Buckingham's guitar solo, forcing her to scowl into her rear-view mirror at the offending driver. Her jaw drops in shock at the all-too-familiar, all-too-dear vision of Jax Teller on his Harley.

Surprisingly the freeway's empty enough for her to pull over to the road shoulder, dread mixing with excitement as she watches him do the same. "What the fuck is your problem, Teller?" Annoyance wins out as he approaches her, a smug smirk teasing his lips.

He answers by gripping her face and planting a long, hard and utterly delicious kiss on her lips - short circuiting every brain cell in her head. "Well you see, I got one hell of an itch…It started sixteen years ago - and for a while last night I thought I got it fixed, but now it's back again…Can you help me out, Doc?"

Frowning, she smacks his chest. "Are you calling me an itch? Buy some aloe vera," she snaps, desperately trying to tamp down the exhilaration shooting through her. Be strong, her brain warns, don't let him pull you into his shit.

"I love you Tara…I always have." He strokes her cheeks with his thumbs, causing goose bumps to prickle her skin as her heart beats into over-drive. "I know I didn't react too well back at the cabin, but I can't stand the idea of anyone hurting you - that you could've died and I couldn't have done anything about it." He presses his forehead against hers. "It just made me realize - more than ever - that we belong together…In Charming or in San Francisco - it doesn't matter where we fucking live - I want to be in your life again."

Tara bites her lower lip; it's so damn hard not to fall back under his spell - but she has to resist him, she can't allow his MC life to endanger her baby. "It's not just me, Jax. My daughter needs to come first; I need to do whatever I can to keep her safe, give her the life she deserves. And I don't know if I can do that with…the life you lead."

"Things have changed since you left," he replies cryptically, tucking a lock of her behind her ear. "SAMCRO's not what it used to be. You got to trust me, Babe. I'd never let either of you get hurt. Stevie's part of you, I love her for that alone."

Gazing at the earnest hope on his face, at the love shining in his eyes, Tara wants more than anything to believe him, more than anything to give her little girl a Daddy for her birthday - and not just any Daddy, the best man, the best friend that Tara's ever known.

She closes her eyes as memories swamp her…

…nine-year-old Jax holding her hand at her mom's funeral, hugging her tight as she cried after everyone had left the service

…sixteen-year-old Jax cupping her face, uttering the words no one had ever said to her - not even her parents - "I love you, Tara"

…seventeen-year-old Jax holding her hand and grinning broadly as the tattoo artist inked his crow, proof of his possession above her ass…"And one day, I'm going to marry you…"

He's absolutely right - they belong together, but if they're going to be together - which Tara wants with everything inside of her - she's going to have to trust him. And she does. Pressing a soft kiss to his lips, she twines her fingers around his. "I love you, too…so much."

*"Gypsy" written by Stevie Nicks (performed by Fleetwood Mac)

**"Dreams" written by Stevie Nicks (performed by Fleetwood Mac)