I slam my back against the door. What the hell just happened? Christian came back. He was standing in this very living room. He kissed me goodnight. I place my hand where his lips lightly touched my skin. I wish we hand more time together. Kevin text me saying that he was on his way home and that the place should be spotless. I'm pretty sure he left to go over to his apartment to grab clothes. He has a place of his own, but he rarely uses it anymore.
I jump away from the door and run around making sure that everything is nice and tidy. I'm putting away cleaning products when the front door opens and Kevin walks inside. It's already passed midnight and he's just now getting home.
"I'm going to bed." He doesn't look at me as he makes his way towards the bedroom. He's carrying a duffel bag, which I assume is holding his clothes.
"Goodnight." I whisper. I feel so nervous all of a sudden. What is he knows Christian was here? Can he smell him in the air? Is he capable of reading minds? I pray to God that's not the case. As far as he's concerned, Christian is completely out of my life. I'm going to tell him that I have a business meeting to go to tomorrow night. He won't suspect a thing.
I wake early in the morning and keep myself busy until late evening. Kevin has been watching TV all day and left me to do my own things. He's going out with his friends around four so he won't do much until then. I, on the other hand, read a book, organize the bathroom, and even do a little online shopping. Kevin barely talks to me throughout the entire day. I told him about my "meeting" when his mind was otherwise occupied. His eyes were glued to the TV and he just grunted out an okay and waved me off. Perfect.
After Kevin leaves I start to get dressed. My face feels like it may crack under the stress of my smile. I feel like I'm meeting Christian for the first time. My stomach is filled with butterflies and I even start sweating.
I'm ready by six. I picked out a navy blue dress that hugs my slight curves and does a good job of covering most of my bruises. I cover the others with a couple layers of foundation and powder until they are no longer visible. I leave my hair down, but give it a few pumps of mousse to add some volume. I swipe on a thin layer of makeup over my foundation and call myself done. I must say that this is the best I've looked since, well since Christian.
I'm giving myself another glance in the mirror when I hear a soft knock at the door. T take a deep breath and open it. Christian stands tall wearing a very nice black suit with a dark blue tie. His copper hair is messy, yet stylish at the same time. His face is smooth and his full lips are turned up in a slight smile. His eyes are wide and shine through his long lashes.
I'm breathless.
"We match." His smooth voice pulls me out of my trance. He takes on hand a gently caresses my cheek. I flinch slightly, not knowing what he's doing, but find myself leaning into his touch.
"Hi." I breathe out. He smiles down at me and holds out his hand. I take it and step outside. He holds onto me until we reach his car where he holds the passenger door open.
"After you." He says with a smile. I nod and slide onto the soft leather of the seat. God, I remember this car. I run my palms over the seat and admire the R8's lovely interior. It makes me feel all warm and cozy inside. It makes me feel safe.
Christian gets in and pulls the car out onto the street and heads towards the highway. I sit back, close my eyes, and concentrate on the soft roar of the engine.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Christian breaks the silence. I glance over and find him staring at me.
"Just wondering where you're taking me." I reply. He chuckles once and shakes his head.
"Always eager for information." He says under his breath. He looks back at me. "We're going to have dinner at this fabulous restaurant that I happen to know. Five stars."
"Do you happen to own this hotel?" I say, slightly teasing him.
He chuckles again and reaches over to place his hand on top of mine. Tiny jolts run from my hand to my heart. "Not the point." He says.
We stay quiet for the rest of the drive. Its silence, but it's not awkward. I feel Christian's eyes on me as I stare out the window. We travel into downtown Seattle and pull up in front of a brightly lit, very modern looking building. There's a line of people standing outside waiting to get in. A kind valet gentleman takes the R8 as Christian puts an arm around my waist and leads us inside. We slide past the huge line and meet a well-dressed waiter inside.
"Ah, Mr. Grey." The man says with a slight accent. "Such a pleasure to see you again, sir."
"You as well, Sebastiano." Christian replies.
"Your table is right this way, sir." We follow Sebastiano to a secluded table all the way in the back. The cloth covered table is equipped with a small candle in the center that lets off a soft glow. The restaurant itself is dimply lit, so the soft light creates a very intimate setting. I glance around and notice that no one is seated anywhere near our table. Christian and I are completely alone. The thought sends shivers through my body.
"This is perfect. Thank you." Sebastiano is sent away and Christian pulls out a chair and I sit. He sits directly across from me. The light from the candle basks his face is and orange glow that makes him looks so handsome it hurts.
"Order whatever you would like." He says while folding his hands in front of him. "You look like you haven't eaten a decent mean in months." His eyes burn into mine. I can't help but flush a little.
"I haven't." I tell the truth. Christian closes his eyes and shakes his head. He runs a hand over his face before speaking.
"Anastasia," He looks at me with such a stern expression that I almost fall out of my chair. "You need to take care of yourself."
"It hasn't been that easy. Trust me." He doesn't even know the half of it. I glance down at the menu, but don't read the fancy words. A watery fog clouds my vision that I know all too well are tears/ he has no idea about my life these past few months. I'm not sure what would happen if he ever found out.
"Ana," He says softly. I wipe my tears and meet his pained expression. "I never meant to hurt you." His words comfort me and anger me at the same time. What was he trying to do then?
Before I get the chance to respond, another waiter comes over to take our food orders. I don't say anything, so Christian takes over and orders us both the same thing. He picks up both menus, fills our champagne, and leaves.
I'm left awkwardly hanging my head down and looking at my lap. My thoughts drift towards Kevin. I wonder what he's doing right now.
"Ana, please talk to me." Christian says quietly. I lift my head and see his hand stretched across the table. I take it. His thumb rubs soft circles over my skin. "I want to make things right between us." He lifts my hand to his lips and places a soft kiss.
"Right as in how?" I ask.
Christian takes a deep breath and seems to collect his thoughts. He looks at me with a burning gaze that does strange things between my thighs. "I want you, Ana." He says bluntly. My eyes widen in shock. "I want you like a man in the desert needs water and I'm willing to start over." He kisses each one of my fingers.
I'm stunned. He wants to start over? What does that even mean? We haven't even talked about why I left in the first place. What about Kevin?
"Christian, we still have a lot to talk about. You just can't show up and expect me to get down pn my hands and knees for you." His eyes widen at my choice of words.
"No, Ana. That's most certainly not what I expect. I want to talk about what happened between us as well." He says. I take a swallow of my champagne. I have the feeling I'm going to need a new one soon.
"Then let's talk." I say. "That's why we're here."
"Ana, I never meant to hurt you that night. You have to believe me. I wanted to show you what you were getting yourself into. You asked for it and then you left me." He speaks so fast that I have to concentrate on every word. "You left me, Ana. After you told me to-" He stops and thrusts his hands into his hair. "I should have never allowed it to happen. You didn't know what you were saying." He bows his head into both hands.
"Christian," I speak softly. "I'm the one who asked for it. It's not your fault. I should have known better." I want this matter put to rest. We both need this closure.
He shakes his head. "No, Ana, it's my fault." He removes his hands and gazes at me with a tired expression. "I fucked up the one thing that matters the most to me." My heart aches for him. I wish I could hold him in my arms and keep us both protected from the hurt.
"I should have never left." I say.
"I should have never let you walk away." Christian takes my hand in his and just holds it tightly. The air around us has changed. This is good. We're actually talking.
We look at each other for a few moments before our little moment is broken by the arrival of our food. Whatever Christian ordered looks absolutely delicious. It's some kind of salmon covered in a thick red sauce. My stomach growls in anticipation. Once the waiter is gone, Christian and I start digging into our food. I pick at mine at first, but it tastes so good that I can't help but to shovel more into my mouth. I see Christian smile out of the corner of my eye. I look up with the fork still in my mouth.
"What?" I mumble with a full mouth.
"It's lovely seeing you with an appetite." He chuckles. I offer a small smile and continue with my dinner. It's gone too soon and I lean back in my chair, completely stuffed. Christian finishes his and works on his champagne.
"Why don't you say we head over to my place for some dessert?" He asks me as he receives the bill from the waiter. Back to his place? For dessert? Am I ready for this? "I promise just talking." He says, obviously seeing my facial expression. "I'll have Ms. Jones makes us something with chocolate." He smiles sweetly, showing all of his perfect teeth. He signs the bill then stands and offers me his arm that I take so willingly.
"Okay." I say automatically. How can I say no to that smile?