A/N: Please note this is where the story deviates from its original path, so if there are continuity errors, I apologize.
Also rather than following the trope of sending the Daniel clone 'away', I chose to make him a main character because it adds good humor.
Bring it All Back
Chapter 6
Panties
He's not there to greet her this time around. She's only been gone for five days, but it seems more like a month. Sits waiting at his desk for her to bound in with that grin and tell him she wants to play volleyball or go go-carting or try yogurt with fruit on the bottom. When she's gone his monotonous workday drags on and without windows in his office, sometimes he glances at the clock and it says four he doesn't know if it's AM or PM.
Used to travel off base on days like this a year ago when they first started dating. Would drive home and grab a burger, or some good barbeque takeout, a six pack and head inside to find a marathon on TNT or something. Fall asleep on the couch, drag his ass up at five for a run, and then start all over again. If it was his day off he'd do some yard work, maybe check to see if the TNT marathon was still on, and then back at it the next day.
Now it's hard to leave if she's not with him. The same thing that makes him uneasy about her leaving through the gate distracts him when he grabs his car keys. What if they need him here? What if she needs him here to tell him that she's going to crash a goddamn cargo ship in their backyard.
When she and Teal'c and the Daniels, who demanded to be dragged along to the monastery after learning of the mission—more likely she said, to try out the way of life and he snickered at her while swigging back a beer—walk into the gate room he's not there and isn't informed of their return.
He's with Lam as she explains, again, how all the boys on SG-3 ended up with food poisoning when two of them don't even eat meat. Asks her to explain it again and she sighs, rolling her eyes at him and tells him to just bench the team until next week, that she'll do another check-up by then. She also makes a comment about how a lot of his teams are ending up in her care and to keep a better eye on them.
That, that puts him in a sour mood, but he keeps his tongue because his momma always told him not to lash out at a lady, so he nods and takes her criticisms and walks out into the hallway his lips miming words again as he leans against the wall and crosses SG-3s medical issues off his to-do list.
"Colonel Mitchell." Two privates stand to his left just grazing the wall, waiting for his eyes to draw up from his clipboard before continuing. "SG-1 are back from P3R-668."
"Thanks." Checks his watch and it says three and he doesn't know what that means anymore or what date it is. Doesn't even remember if they're scheduled for coming home this soon, so he doesn't know what he's in for. "They all relatively normal?"
"What do you mean, Sir?"
"No one missing, no injuries, no one doubled or tripled?"
"Everyone is in good spirits, Sir."
"One Jackson or two?"
"Two, Sir."
"Dammit." Thought the Jacksons would gladiator-style fight each other to the death by now. Distractedly, he picks at things on his list, rearranging importance to make room for SG-1's return. "They all waiting in debriefing?"
The one soldier cracks, a snicker before checking himself, pursing his lips and standing ramrod straight again.
"Problem, soldier?"
"No Sir."
"Something funny about them waiting in debriefing."
The soldier chuckles again and now his clipboard gets set under his arm. He follows Teal'c's suggestion for looking intimidating, hands clasped behind his back and his chin jutted out. "Want to fill me in on the joke?"
"It's nothing—"
A single glance to the other soldier gets him to crack. "When the team got into the gate room one of the Dr. Jacksons pulled out a pair of panties from his pocket and handed it back to Ms. Mal Doran."
Tries not to miss the beat but he misses it so hard it may as well be a completely different conversation now. "Is that so?"
The first soldier scoffs now. "Please sir, you know how she can be with men."
"No. I don't. How can she be?" His voice is calm, too calm and he doesn't remember it being this calm unless the ship he's on is about to explode or smack down onto some nice Antarctic ice.
"Well, she's not subtle." The first one chuckles again and after a sigh from his partner he straightens up. "Sir."
Catches Teal'c in the hallway on his way to host the debriefing, but apparently all the parties have already scattered. "Hey Big Guy, were we a big hit at the church?"
"It was a monastery, Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c corrects and he's worked with him long enough to sense the edginess in his voice. "And they will not be privy to hosting anyone else from Stargate Command."
"We bombed that badly?" He crosses his arms and tries to keep the panty gossip out of his mind because he knows there's a rational reason beside the one his paranoia keeps throwing at him. "Anything in particular or was it just one big no go?"
"I believe the drunken table dancing was the fodder that broke the dromedary's spinal column."
Teal'c leaves him with the thought of her drunk on monk wine and swiveling her hips with her hair all wild and her cheeks all flushed. The gorgeous pink color running down her neck to her chest and if she did that thing, that back arch thing—he tries to calm himself. Just because he's seen her drunk and dancing doesn't mean that she's that way every time, but then one of the Jackson's had her panties which completely disproves that theory and he's angry.
Very angry.
Real fucking angry.
Locks himself in his office leaving the debriefing for tomorrow hopefully after he's had a night and a morning run to calm down. He knows Vala, trusts her and she must have had a reason, a real good fucking reason, to drunk table dance if she did. Hopefully her reasoning isn't that monk wine was really good. Hopefully it acted as a distraction of some sorts so that the others could get a way or grab something. Then he could tell her good job on getting drunk and stripping and give her an awkward smile and a thumbs up.
She knocks on his door in less than an hour. He doesn't stand to unlock it, doesn't call for her to enter, but in a few short seconds she's picked the lock and it pops free letting her bound right in. He doesn't know why he though that would stop her.
"Darling, your door locked."
"I know," grumbles without looking up from vacation forms. Perky office assistant wants a month off to go to Bora Bora.
The bounce works it way out of her footsteps and she stops short before his desk after checking his tone. "Why was it locked?"
"Because I locked it."
"Oh no." She floats now, every stretch of every muscle sensual and on purpose as she perches on the corner of his desk. "Have I done something naughty?"
Her question is hopeful, and it almost makes him feel the same way, like this can be one of their roleplaying nights with the fuzzy cuffs among other things, but the sly grin face falters when he doesn't answer. "Wait, did I really do something wrong?"
He exhales loudly, tossing his pen down onto the paperwork. "I don't know. You tell me, Vala."
Her eyes dart around waiting to see if this is a game, but when his tone, voice, and body remain unchanged and she becomes quieter. "I—I don't think I have."
"Well, then I guess you didn't."
"Perhaps you could explain what you think I did—"
"So, you can explain it away?"
"Cameron, I didn't do anything without a good reason."
"Okay, so tell me the reasoning why you got shitfaced and table danced for monks." He shoves away from the desk because pacing will help him. Knowing he can still walk will help him. "Just feeling generous?"
"What?"
"Tell me why one of the Jacksons had your panties in his pocket." Expects her to get upset for a rebuttal. To accuse him of things or bring up how he never picks up his goddamn laundry because she never stops complaining about it.
But she just laughs at him. Hard. Until she's got tears bunching in the corners of her eyes that she's using her palm to wipe away. "Darling, you've gotten some bad information."
He circles to the front of the desk, relieved by her actions, and knowing he's probably going to feel like a fucking idiot in a few minutes. "Then tell me what's good."
She clears her throat and her front teeth bite down onto her bottom lip, her face still flushed from laughing, and God, if he didn't need to know what happened so much—"The Daniels got drunk on the wine the monks provided."
"The Jacksons?"
"Yes. Now don't interrupt." She grabs the slack material of the side of his uniform and drags him closer to her, his hips resting against her spread knees. "They got drunk, danced over the food dishes which in itself was a travesty because those bald men can really cook a good meal." Her fingers trail up his hands to his arms, sliding over his skin. "To add to the enragement of our gracious hosts, they dumped about a bottle and a half of wine on me, soaking me through to the bone."
He understands. He feels like a big idiot. "You took your clothes off to dry."
"Yes, and I changed into my backup uniform, which was without another pair of panties because I needed them when someone ripped mine off me one night in a tent in a throe of passion." Guilty as charged. "And in the complete postcoital ecstasy you provided, I forgot to replace them."
"So how did they end up in a Jackson's pocket?"
"We were in quite a rush to leave, the monks weren't happy, and I sort of shoved all my clothing back into my bag." Tents her fingers against his, relaxing back into his desk. "They must have fallen out and drunk Daniel Two saved them."
He retrieves a hand, kissing the inside of her wrist. "I'm sorry."
She wiggles free and pinches his nose. "You should be."
"I'll never doubt you again."
"Oh, you should always doubt me, darling. It keeps you on your feet."
"And you off yours."
"Naughty."
Her arms slip around him and her head rests against his chest. She's not as upset as he thought she might be. Not as upset as he would be. Not upset as he was. "Have you calmed down sufficiently."
"Yeah." He strokes her shoulder, bundles her hair and tosses it over the opposite one. "I had no idea how I was going to write the mission report."
"That's not why you were upset." She purrs against him and he doesn't answer, just keeps playing with her hair. "It's kind of nice, to have someone care about me that much, I mean, once you take the barbarism out of it."
"I'll try to keep the barbarism out of it next time if you try to keep the Jacksons away from the wine."