Don't worry, an actual plot is coming. The last major one of the story. This is just a small intro plot to get ready for that one.
Notes: "Lien" is a more feminine spelling of "Lián", which, as you remember, is Ren's Chinese name. So both children are, in fact, named after him. (I used to think it was a different word because of the spelling, but after seeing it on numerous baby name sites, I decided that it is probably correct)
This takes place six years later, in 2014, making Ren and Lien six years old.
Remember, children, Mei Mei means "little sister".
Ren's returned to the tongari. Long hair is too hard to take care of. And uses too much shampoo.
Disclaimer: I do not own the anime/manga Shaman King. The story and its characters were created by Hiroyuki Takei. All original characters made specifically for this fanfiction and any tie-in/spinoff pieces were created by Jezebel Parks.
A Gift of Love – Chapter Sixty-Four: When I Fall
"...and then what happened, Papa?"
"Did...Did...Did Mommy die?"
"Of course not, dumb head."
"Waaaaahhh! Papa!"
Their father sighed. "Lien, don't pick on your brother."
"...Fine."
"Good. Now apologize."
"I'm sorry, Ren."
Her brother quickly wiped his eyes and smiled. "It...It's okay." He hugged her tightly. "I love you, Mei Mei!"
His sister gave an embarrassed whimper and gently pushed him away. "So then what happened, Papa?"
Ren sat back in his chair. "Well..."
"Pin-Mei...PIN-MEI!"
"Shhh!"
Ren looked up at the nurse in disdain, but she smiled.
"She's sleeping."
He leaned toward her more closely, and could hear her subtle breathing. Definitely asleep. He leaned back in his chair and sighed.
"Why am I not surprised?"
Pin-Mei didn't sleep long. Soon her children let out hungry cries, and she was forced awake. After Lien was fed, she took Ren and began nursing him as well.
"He looks just like you," she said, a bright smile on her face. She giggled and pointed at the infant's head, where a few purple hairs were standing on end, already rebelling against the rest.
"Lien does too," she continued. She laughed again. "I should have expected that neither of them would look much like me. Your genes are just as dominant as the rest of you!"
Ren smirked as he looked over at Lien, who was laying in a small cradle by the bed. A small tuff of navy blue hair sat on her head. When she had opened her eyes, they had been the same yellow as her father and brother's.
The nurse came in. "I just wanted to check and see how everything is going," she said cheerfully.
She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Pin-Mei and the tiny Ren together. After a moment, she dashed up to the bed, effectively shoving the elder Ren out of the way.
"What is it?" Pin-Mei asked, taken aback by the aggressive display.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Tao, but I need to take Ren from you. It looks like he's having a reaction to your nursing him."
"What are you-?"
But when the nurse took him from her, she saw rashes on his face and body. Small hives covered his arms.
She froze until the nurse had turned and left the room. Her eyes wide with horror, she lunged forward, reaching out as if she could snatch her child back, but the nurse's hastened footsteps had already faded.
"NO! GIVE HIM BACK!" she screamed.
Ren held her back in a distanced hug.
"Pin-Mei, if something's wrong with him then we can't do anything. The doctors are the only ones-,"
"I'M NOT LOSING ANOTHER ONE!" she screamed back. "I REFUSE TO!"
Ren stared at her. He had thought that she was over the miscarriage, but no, she had been hiding that pain for the last nine months. Even though that unborn baby had been barely a month old, it was still a child to her. Her reaction was out of pure fear - fear of having to experience that feeling of hopelessness and guilt again.
She struggled against him. "LET ME GO BE WITH MY SON! LET GO OF ME!"
Ren lowered his head and held her tightly against him as she continued flailing.
"I know you're scared," he whispered.
She stopped.
"I understand why. If I were in your position, I would be too...Maybe I am a little afraid.
"I know that as the mother, you have feelings that I can't possibly understand. I didn't go through the pregnancy – you did. But I know you're hurting."
He felt her put her forehead on his shoulder.
"I promise that we'll do everything we possibly can to make sure that the baby...that Ren will be alright. I promise."
"Ren..."
For a moment he didn't know if she was talking to him or calling out for her son, but when he recognized her tone, he knew that he had put her at ease.
She pulled away from him. Her eyes were puffy and red, and her exhaustion was more visible than ever.
"Go to him..."
He said nothing.
"Please..."
He smiled slightly and kissed her. "Alright. But in exchange, you go to sleep. I won't leave until you are."
She nodded slowly and he gently lowered her back onto the mattress.
"Can I have Lián?" she asked softly.
He motioned to pick up the remaining child, but she stopped him.
"No, I want Lián, my doll..."
He stared at her. "You still have that thing?"
She blushed. "Yeah...I slept with him every night when you were gone...It wasn't the same...but I'd rather have him here with me while the both of you are gone."
He nodded and retrieved the proxy plushie from their room and gave it to her. She fell asleep almost instantly. He was about to leave, but turned back when Lien started crying. Helplessly, he walked over to her crib and stuck his hand in, playing with her hands and stroking her cheek. She calmed, and he turned to leave, only to have her start crying again.
He felt defeated. Then he remembered the other stuffed animal that had the ability to calm those who held it. He returned to his room and soon came running back.
Panting, he stared down at her again. Slowly, he produced a tiger plushie and set it next to her. She gradually quieted down and then joined her mother in slumber. Pleased that he was able to come up with the solution on his own, he left and walked down the cold and dreary halls to the ICU.
As he opened the door, the nurse from before was coming out. She jumped with a small shriek, then calmed herself.
"Mr. Tao, good, you're here. I was just about to come get you. Come with me."
He followed her into a room where the baby Ren lay in a vented plastic box of sorts. A monitor displayed his heartbeat and an IV cord was attached to his wrist. A young doctor stood next to it. They shook hands. Ren's gaze fell on the newborn.
"What's wrong with him?" he asked, his voice somewhere between impatience and worry.
"I believe he's allergic to your wife's breast milk," the doctor replied. "We tested him with regular milk and we got the same reaction. He may be completely lactose intolerant."
Ren stared at his young clone in disbelief. How can that be? It was impossible. He was the son of Tao Ren, notorious for his love of milk. How can someone who was his mirror image live without something he loved so much?
He told Pin-Mei when he returned. She cried, apologizing as if it was somehow her fault. He assured her that that wasn't the case. Little Ren soon came back to them, and everything was perfect again.
"...And that's about it."
"Wow! Mom really loves us!" Ren cried, throwing his arms up in the air.
"Yeah!" Lien said joining him.
The elder Ren's eyes softened. More than the both of you know. He stood. "Come on, we have to get you two to school."
Lien groaned, nearly whimpered. Her long and thin ponytails, although low in the first place, seemed to sink even lower at the depressing thought of being around her classmates. Ren stiffened, a look of horror on his face.
"I-I-I need a drink!"
He ran past his father and into the kitchen. He threw open the refrigerator and searched the shelves. After messing up the shelves he could reach, he grabbed his purple bangs in anguish.
"Where is it?"
"Looking for this?"
The boy froze and slowly turned to see his father looking down at him and shaking a carton of milk. Busted.
"I-I was looking for juice, Papa! Honest!"
"Oh really? You think I was born yesterday? I know what you're up to, you little imp."
"N-No..."
"Come on."
He left the room, his son trudging slowly behind him. His fingers were suddenly grasped, and he looked down to see Ren holding onto him for dear life, his head lowered. They walked in silence to the door where Lien was waiting.
"Papa..." he said suddenly.
"What?"
"Do...Do you love me...even though I can't drink milk like you?"
Ren looked down at the child again. He was quivering. Crying.
"I do."
"Okay..."
He suddenly let go of his father and ran upstairs. Ren watched as he opened the door and snuck into his parents' room, where his mother lay sleeping as always. He shook her gently.
"Mama,"
Pin-Mei opened her eyes groggily. "What is it, sweetheart?
"I'm going to school now."
She gave him the best smile she could muster, then sat up slightly. She touched his left cheek gently as she kissed his other one.
"I love you. Have a good day. I'll see you when you get home."
He smiled, a tiny blush on his face. "O-Okay!" He turned and ran out of the room and back down the stairs. Pin-Mei stared after him.
"I know it's hard, Ren...Just keep smiling."
"What happened?"
"Um...I...I...Um..."
Pin-Mei quickly knelt in front of her son, whose left eye had been replaced with a deep bruise.
"He got ownxxorz because he didn't want to give up his lunch," Lien chimed in.
"Lien," her mother said in a threatening tone, then gave up and turned back to the small victim in front of her.
"Mama...Am...Am I a 'freak'?"
For a moment she said nothing, remembering how many times she'd had to suffer such malicious words from the ignorant masses. She remembered how the rumors had flown when she went to school with Ren for the first time. But with him there, she was only harassed when they were able to get her alone, which hadn't been very often.
"No honey, of course not. You're as normal as your father or I."
Almost angrily, she turned to her daughter.
"And what were you doing when this happened?" she cried.
Lien cringed slightly. It was one of those times when she would rather be dealing with her father. When it came to her brother, Pin-Mei would always be looking for an explanation for why Lien hadn't protected her OLDER brother. Their father wasn't so biased.
"I had a lollipop in my mouth! If they had hit me, I woulda choked on it, Mom!"
Pin-Mei sighed and scooped Ren up in her arms. "Come now, don't cry anymore, Ren. We're going to clean that eye up for you. Now smile for me." He gave her a bright smile. She mimicked him and gently kissed his swollen eye, then his forehead. "That's a good boy."
As she turned to bring him to the bathroom to get some cream, she looked at Lien again. "Lien, in this family we protect those who are close to us. That includes siblings. There were times when I had to fight for your father, so you in turn should fight for your brother. That's what love is about."
"...Yes, Mama."
"Please remember that next time Ren is in trouble."
As her mother passed her Lien clenched her fists and stomped her foot.
"And when the heck will HE help ME?" she screamed.
Pin-Mei stopped, then turned around slowly. "Your brother is as noble as your father. He'll repay any help you give him."
"Noble? Like Papa? There's no way in heck he's anything like him! Papa's the strongest in the world! He's fearless! Nothing scares him!" She pointed at the child in her mother's arms. "Ren's a dumb, stupid, wuss who can't even sit next to Papa because he'll get hives if he even SEES milk! He drinks it so he can get out of school and make me go there by myself! He's too scared to even go and exercise with Papa because he's afraid Papa will actually treat him like a boy!"
She put her hand down and squeezed her eyes shut as angry tears fell from them.
"You love him more than me! I know you do! You were probably upset when I was born because you just wanted a boy! Just admit it! If I had gotten sick like Ren had, you would've been happy!"
"That's not true, Lien!" her mother said sternly, trying to keep herself from screaming. "I wanted both of you!"
"Then why don't you carry ME around like that? You ha-"
She stopped when she felt a hand on her head.
"That's enough, Lien."
Lien looked up to see her father, who left her and walked over to his distressed spouse. He took his son from her and placed him on the ground.
"I'll take care of Ren. You go talk to Lien," he told her as he led their son upstairs.
She nodded slowly as he passed her. After the boys had left, she and Lien stared at each other. Pin-Mei fell to her knees and held out her arms.
"Lien, come here and let me hold you."
The small girl stood rigidly, not moving.
"No."
Pin-Mei swiftly walked over to her and picked her up. "I've got you now, my pretty," she said in a cackly voice.
Lien sighed, annoyed. "Mom, you know you can't sound like the Witch."
"Oh really? I would have thought that you were convinced that I am the witch, with you telling me I hate you."
"Well...I..."
"I know, honey. We all get jealous. Even me. I'm just sorry that I was the cause of yours."
She took her to the living room and sat her on the couch.
"I love the both of you equally. I just have more of a reason to worry about Ren," she continued. "When he comes home with a black eye and you don't, who do you think I'm going to worry about?"
The six year-old stared at her feet. "I guess you're right..."
"Your brother loves you a lot, you know. If nothing else, the one way he's like your father is that both of them are very passionate people. I'll do anything for the people I love. Your father is the same. Ren is slowly becoming that way as well. The question is, will you also be like that?"
"I'm...not sure."
She smiled. "There's no rush to find out who you are. It took your father thirteen years to find himself. Me, fourteen, maybe more. Take your time so you'll like the person you turn out to be."
"Ren is probably himself already..."
"What?"
Lien clenched her fists as she became upset again. "He's so smart. When there's only one perfect score in the class, it's always his. And he hugs me and tells me he loves me when I call him names...He...he just makes me so mad!"
Pin-Mei looked at her sympathetically and placed her hand on the small girl's shoulder. "That doesn't mean he knows who he is. As you grow up, you're going to change in the most extreme ways. Don't count yourself out just yet. Just try to be nicer to your brother every now and then and be patient with him. Your father is trying to guide him and make him the best man he can be...I'm just getting in the way."
"Is that why he makes Ren walk everywhere he goes and makes you put him down?"
"...That's right." She put on her Ren face and dropped her voice. "'He'll turn out to be a pansy if you keep carrying him around like he's a cat or a puppy,' or so he says." They laughed.
When the laughter subsided, Lien looked up at her mother.
"Mama, how much do you love Papa?"
Pin-Mei smiled. "I can't tell you that."
Lien blinked. "Why not?"
"Because when you love someone, it's nearly impossible to express it in words."
"That was...mushy..."
"You asked a mushy question."
She looked at her shoes again. "I guess..."
"Take this," Ren said as he handed his son the plastic Kwan Dao. "I'm teaching you how to use this today."
The boy took it, his hands quivering. "B-B-But what if I cut my head off?"
Ren took it back from him and rubbed the "blade" against his son's wrist for a few moments. "Do you see any blood?"
"...No..."
"See? I wouldn't do something that I know would hurt you. Trust me more."
"Yeah...Sorry, Papa..."
"Don't apologize, just don't be so scared."
"Okay..."
But as they began, it was plain to see that the younger Ren didn't share the same talents as the older one. As with Pin-Mei, the plastic Kwan Dao met the ground many times. Even after an hour of practice the little boy could hardly do a simple twirl with the weapon.
Ren watched him, trying not to let himself feel disappointed. He had started learning the Kwan Dao at an earlier age, but even so, to see his son struggling was just a little disheartening. After the plastic blade was dropped once more, he put his hand on the child's shoulder.
"That's enough. We'll start again tomorrow."
He took both weapons and placed them in the armory, then the two made their way towards the house.
"Um...Father?"
"What?"
"Do...Do you think I can be as good at the Kwan Dao as you are someday?"
He paused. It may be a lie, but if it would get him to keep practicing, it couldn't hurt that much.
"If you keep practicing with me every day then I don't see why not."
His doppelganger looked at the ground and smiled. "Cool."
A few nights later, Lien burst into her parents' room, a horrified look on her face. She got a running start from the doorway and jumped onto their bed, landing in between them. Ren awoke with a start, his eyes frantically searching the room before they fell on the small girl with a navy blue nightgown that was clinging to his arm, quivering.
"Lien, what is it?"
"It's Ren! It's like he's having a nightmare! He just keeps screaming and swinging that sword-stick around!"
Without listening to another word, Ren leaped out of the bed and ran to his children's room. The door was still open from when Lien had escaped and he could see the smaller version of himself swinging the blade about.
"Ren!" he called out to him.
The boy stopped and tensely turned to face him. His eyes were wild with fear, even more than his sister's had been.
"I won't do it, Father..." he whispered. "I won't kill them...No matter how much you tell me it's the right thing to do...I...I WON'T BE LIKE YOU!"
Ren just stared at him. He had never told him anything of the sort, nor had he or Pin-Mei ever told the children about the person he used to be. There was no rationale for him saying such things.
"Ren, you must have heard me wrong," he said as he slowly made his way over to him. "I would never tell you to kill someone. Your mother and I always tell you and Lien that you can't hurt other people. We-"
"LIAR!" the younger Ren screamed. "When those boys were holding me up against the wall, you told me to push them down and strangle them until I had squeezed every last breath out of them! You told me it was the only way to make the suffering stop!" He looked nauseous. "Even now, you told me that if I killed Lien I wouldn't have to deal with the pain she causes me when she calls me all those names!"
"You know that's not true," his father said as he approached him. "I've always told you that it's your job to protect your sister."
The blade was swung in front of him. "You just want to kill Mother and Lien...Just...Just like you did all those other innocent people...You...MURDERER!"
Before either could do one more thing, Pin-Mei slid between them and gently pressed a tag on her son's forehead. The characters on it flashed as his eyes widened for a moment, then slowly closed as his body went limp in her arms.
"Ren...what do you think...?"
"I don't know," he said quickly, trying to push the young boy's words from his mind. He looked down and saw his wife's left hand gently touching the bottom of the back of their son's red silk pajamas, her fingers curled tentatively under the hem. "If you need to in order to reassure yourself, go ahead. I won't see it as a sign that you don't trust me."
She inhaled as she closed her eyes and quickly lifted the shirt. When she opened them, she heaved a sigh of relief.
His back was bare.
"I'm sorry..." she said quickly. "I just..."
"It's alright," Ren reassured, touching her head.
The Tao family emblem. A symbol of hatred that would never fade. After hearing her son's words, Pin-Mei had been consumed by the irrational fear that someone had carved it into his back without her knowing, causing him to speak such heated words to the man he openly admired and aspired to be. After the twins' birth, Ren had promised her that he wouldn't put their children through the agony of such a ritual, that he wouldn't lock such dark feelings inside them. Deep down, although she had said that she wanted her son to be just like his father, she never wanted him to suffer in the ways Ren had.
"I don't know what's caused this, but at the moment there isn't much we can do," Ren continued as he watched Pin-Mei place the sleeping child back into bed.
"He...He's been like this for a while..." Lien said reluctantly from the doorway. "But...he never got out of bed or anything. He just covered himself with a pillow as he cried...I just told him to shut up...that I didn't wanna listen to him."
Ren stared at her. "For how long?"
"Since the kids started making fun of us last year."
"Six months...And you didn't say anything?"
"I'm sorry, Papa! He just always cries! I never thought it was weird or anything!"
Pin-Mei silenced her and tucked her back into bed, then the couple returned to their room. Ren laid awake, staring at the ceiling, the situation swirling in his mind, trying to make sense of it all. Pin-Mei suddenly flopped to his side and clung to him.
"What are you thinking about?"
His eyes shifted toward her, then back to the ceiling. He wrapped his arm around her.
"If hatred is supposed to be somewhere, but is supposedly barred from that place, do you think that hatred still finds a way inside because it doesn't know what else to do?"
She blinked. "What?"
"Nothing."
She blinked again, then giggled and snuggled against him, kissing him. "Thanks for letting me have my way again."
He smirked. "You forget, I'm naming this one."
Five months later...
"Lien! You...You..."
"I finally stepped in." She smiled weakly.
Pin-Mei gently touched the bandage on Lien's cheek before bursting into tears and holding her close.
"Lien...I never meant that I wanted you to get hurt also..." She sobbed. As if remembering something, she looked up. "Where's Ren?"
Lien's smiled vanished. She stared at the floor. "He's...coming..."
No sooner had she spoken did Ren appear, his bangs hiding his eyes. Pin-Mei reached out to him as he walked by.
"Ren...Are you..."
"I'm fine, Mother," he said in a low voice.
Her eyes widened as she saw dots of red on the yellow blazer of his school uniform. That can't be...blood?
The phone rang and she ran to get it, still staring at her son as he calmly hung up the stained jacket.
"Hello?"
"Yes...Um...Is this Mrs. Tao?"
"Yes, who's calling please?"
"Um...Well...This is Ms. Yin...Ren and Lien's teacher...Um...I need you and your husband to come in for a conference with me and the Chi family...It's about Ren...there was a...problem today..."