The Heinous Holiday Special
Or,
The Villain Interlude
Dabi hated the holidays.
Partially because it was a family-centered holiday, and anything and everything to do with family was something Dabi despised with a burning passion. But also because the very idea of a holiday centered around bringing cheer to everyone was something that just didn't sit right with him for some reason.
And that reason was that he was a villain.
Holiday cheer kind of ran countenance to villainy, you know?
At least, that's what he thought.
Dabi's door kicked open and Dabi sighed a defeated sigh. It was the same kind of sigh you would hear from a man who had just been told he was going to die tomorrow and was then handed a big, fat medical bill to go along with it.
Shigaraki came barging in with a large, empty red bag, and a Christmas hat atop his head.
Dabi gave him a deadpan look, already regretting waking up.
"Dabi!" announced Shigaraki. "It's up to us to save Christmas!"
Was it too late to crawl back in bed?
"Why?" Dabi asked instead.
Shigaraki gave him a sadistic smile. "To destroy this society of course."
"And how is saving Christmas going to do that?"
"Simple. We're going to rob a bunch of toy stores."
"Okay?" Well, robbery was a good thing at least.
"And then we are going to give those toys back to all the little boys and girls in Tokyo!"
Dabi gave his boss a deadpan stare.
"Ok, I have several questions."
"Shoot."
"One. Why does Christmas need to be saved anyway?"
"Because we need to make the boys and girls believe in Santa, Dabi."
"Please don't tell me you believe in Santa, Shigaraki."
Shigaraki gasped, "See! Not even my own subordinate believes in Santa!"
Dabi slapped his hand against his face. "There is no such thing as Santa."
Shigaraki gave a deep dark chuckle that resonated throughout the room and gave Dabi the foreboding sense that his halls were about to be decked.
And by halls, he meant his sanity.
"Are you… are you telling me that Santa… does exist?"
"Of course! And he's right here!" Shigaraki shot his arms out in pride.
"... you're Santa Claus?"
"Uh-huh," Shigaraki said with almost childlike glee. Which sounded like a glitch in the universe coming from their leader. "Isn't it perfect? I already have white hair."
"I thought Santa was supposed to be fat."
"I've lost some weight."
"And that he was supposed to have a beard."
"I shaved."
"Does this make me your elf?"
"Yep."
"Goddammit."
"Isn't it perfect? We're going to show the world that the Santa Claus they hold so dear, is, in fact, a villain. Sometimes I frighten myself with my own genius."
"Sometimes you frighten all of us." Dabi sighed which might just become his villainous catchphrase if this keeps up. "Ok, fine. So then here's my next question: how is this going to hurt hero society?"
Shigaraki laughed a maniacal laugh. "Do you not see my genius, Dabi?"
"I think it should be pretty obvious that I don't."
"For you see!" Shigaraki pointed ceiling dramatically. "By providing toys to the children we prove two things! One, heroes can't always be there to protect the public. And two, us villains aren't such bad guys after all."
"..."
Dabi threw his hand to his face. Why is it that every single holiday, the world through nothing but absolute madness at him?
"Shigaraki, we're villains. We ARE the bad guys."
"Yeah, but the children don't know that. It's all about PR, Dabi."
"So, we are going to get PR by robbing a bunch of stores and breaking into their homes?"
"By spreading Christmas cheer, you fool. It's a win-win all around. The heroes lose more credibility and we start to appeal to the next generation. Now come along my little elf. It's time to spread some cheer with my sack."
"Don't call me an elf. And please don't say we're going to spread cheer with your sack."
"Fine. But only if you put on this elf costume."
"No."
"C'mon, I had Twice tailor it especially for you."
"No."
"Everyone is already wearing one."
"For the last time, no."
"Fine then." Shigaraki gave a coy smile. "My little elf."
Dabi groaned.
"Besides, we're doing a heist. Everyone knows you need to dress up for a heist."
"You play way too much GTA."
Shigaraki smiled at him. A very disturbing smile that was all teeth and chapped lips. It made Dabi, incredibly uncomfortable.
"Ok, you know what? Fine. I'll wear the damn costume. Just stop grinning at me like that."
"Ah ha! I knew my charm would win you over."
Sure, charm. That was totally the reason.
/-/
Toga liked the holidays.
She was a fan of the pretty lights, the couple's out on dates and the color of blood everywhere she could see.
It was a nice holiday.
Toga was also a fan of the carols, much to the chagrin of her fellow villain, Dabi.
"Toga, for the love of all that is holy, please stop singing."
"Spinner, the red-nosed driver,
Had a very shiny nose,
And if you ever saw him,
You would even say it glows!"
"Yeah! Sing it, Toga!" Spinner cheered from the driver's seat, dressed in a reindeer costume with a bright LED nose on his face.
"You see Dabi? They understand what the holidays are about!" Shigaraki said from the back of the truck they were in, fully dressed in a Santa costume that was two sizes too large. The costume was obviously made for someone who better… embodied Santa, not that she cared.
Because it let her play dress up and everything was good if she got to play dress up.
And she made a damn good elf.
Better than Dabi anyway.
"Why do I have to be the one to wear the elf costume with the skirt?" Dabi said sitting across from Shigaraki.
"To show off your legs, idiot!" Twice said from next to her.
"Because I got you confused with Toga." Twice also said from next to her.
"I hate you all," Dabi seethed.
"Dabi, no," Shigaraki chastised. "This is Christmas. All I want to hear from you is holiday cheer!"
Dabi gave him a flat look.
"Fig off."
"That's better!" Shigaraki said with a smile.
Toga laughed.
"So, what's the plan, Shigaraki?" Mr. Compress said from across from her, dressed as a snowman. Mr. Compress was happy with his assigned outfit as it meant that he got to keep his hat.
Shigaraki have him a knowing smile, "We're going to spread some Christmas cheer, Mr. Compress."
"Oh joy," Mr. Compress said.
"To the world, Mr. Compress. To the world," Shigaraki replied.
"We're here!" Spinner announced as the truck screeched to a halt.
They all got out of the truck and found themselves in front of their target:
Toga gasped in excitement.
It was her favorite store! She had such fond memories here!
"Hey," Dabi said suddenly. "Wasn't this that store where a bunch of corpses was found full of stab wounds a year ago?"
Such fond, fond memories.
"Yes, and it doesn't matter," Shigaraki said as he walked up to the front door with a wicked smile on his face. "Because this store has everything we need to save Christmas."
"Dibs on all of the All Might dolls!" Toga exclaimed causing everyone to look in her direction.
"Why? Do you need kindling for the fireplace?" Shigaraki asked.
"Nah, I need it for a plan I'm working out. It's so I can get what I want for Christmas next year."
"Oh? And what is it you want for Christmas, my little elf?" Shigaraki said, ignoring Dabi gagging in the background.
Toga gave a face-splitting smile as she broke out in a sing-song voice.
"All I want for Christmas,
Is Dekuuuu!"
Shigaraki put his hand on his chin in contemplation. "Hmm, gross. Okay, Mr. Compress! You're up!"
Mr. Compress jumped at being called so suddenly. "Me? O-of course! What do you need, Shigaraki?"
"You're going to get us into the store! Since they don't have a chimney for us to sneak down, you're going to compress us down and throw us down the air vents to the store!"
"Huh, that actually might work."
"Dabi! Always the doubter! You need to have more faith in your Boss' evil schemes!" Shigaraki patted Dabi on the back, much to Dabi's chagrin.
"Wait, I don't feel comfortable with this," Twice said tensely.
"Hell yeah! I love being in tight places! Stuff me down, man!" Twice also said.
"Very well, gentlemen… and lady," Mr. Compress added with a short bow to Toga which she returned with a wink. "I will see you inside!"
And then Toga was compressed.
And then she wasn't.
It was an odd feeling. Odd in the sense that there was no feeling at all. One second she was there, and another she was suddenly inside the store as if she teleported there. Nothing at all how she imagined it. Toga thought it would have been like being stuffed into a locker, an image that did not sit well with her in the slightest. This was a much better experience.
Toga giggled. It was awesome.
"Hey, Mr. Compress?" Dabi said flatly.
"Yes, Dabi?"
"What's with all of the broken glass?"
Sure enough, there was broken glass all over the floor. Toga looked over to the doors and one of them had a large hole in it.
Shigaraki gave Mr. Compress an accusing glare that demanding nothing less than a full explanation.
"Umm, well you see… I realized after I compressed you all that I didn't really have a way to get on the roof. I tried throwing you all up there but I couldn't throw that high. So, like any good performer, I improvised!" Mr. Compress did a showman like bow and Toga happily clapped to him long with Twice.
Shigaraki was not as amused. "And how did you improvise, Mr. Compress?"
"With this brick I found."
Dabi facepalmed while Shigaraki gave him a flat look.
"You know what? Points on the effort, minus points on the execution... So you break even. Good job on being adequate, Mr. Compress."
"I am a performer, Shigaraki. Adequacy is a concept I'm very familiar with."
Wow, that was really sad. Still, it wasn't enough to distract Toga. She dealt with enough suffering artists at school. For some reason, she seemed to attract a lot of them, calling her a beautiful piece of art.
Jokes on them though, there was only one kind of suffering Toga was interested in.
Speaking of which, where was the All Might section? She had a Deku to catch.
As the rest of the group bickered amongst themselves, Toga wandered off into the massive toy store. Rows upon rows of toys filled the four-floor building. Everything from dolls to video games, to sports stuff and everything in between, was there. And unfortunately for Toga, her target was on the top floor.
A small sigh escaped her as she resigned herself to begin her climb up the stairs. She needed to force Mr. Compress to start working out. If he actually bothered to lift some weights once in a while, she wouldn't have to walk up four flights of stairs.
Sure, four flights wasn't a lot. but it was the principal of the matter!
Toga slit the throat of a large teddy bear in aggravation. She sighed as she watched the stuffing pouring out of the wound. Stuffing just didn't have the same satisfaction as blood, ya know?
Thankfully, her mood did a quick turn around as she suddenly found herself in the hero section of the store. It was marked as such by the life-sized statue of Endeavor that marked the aisle. Oddly enough, there weren't any flames on the statue. Just a bunch of holes where the flames would be.
Eh, it was probably nothing of importance.
Toga skipped down the aisle and quickly found what was she was looking for; which wasn't hard since half of the aisle was filled with All Might memorabilia.
Score.
She threw her bag on the floor and quickly got to work stuffing it full of whatever she could shove off the shelves. Toga probably couldn't throw together her villainous plot this year in such short notice, but next year it would be the best thing ever.
Her plan was simple: she was going to throw her sack of All Might stuff near UA and hide. Then, she would wait for Deku to come close to her bait and then she would pull a string and drop a box on him.
Then she would throw a knife in his leg and drag him off to her lair.
Genius.
"Toga, what are you doing?" Twice asked.
"I'm getting me a boyfriend."
"Oh, cool. I'll leave you to it then," Twice responded.
"That sucks! Check out this cool thing I found instead!" Twice also responded.
"Huh, what did you find?"
"Check it!" Twice crouched on the floor and pulled a car the size of brick out from behind him. He pushed a button on it and it transformed into a small robot that started to march around the aisle. Twice began to march in sync behind the tiny robot and Toga burst out laughing.
"That's so cool! Let me try it!" Toga quickly ran up and picked up the small contraption. It was really large for a transformer and she clicked on its head, causing the small toy to switch back into a car. "Wow, they make toys so complicated nowadays. Don't they, Twice?"
"Nah, you just need to get smarter."
"You're so right, Toga! I have no idea how half of these toys even work!" Twice replied as he continued to march around the aisle.
Toga hummed as she continued looking at the strange toy. Would Deku like something like this? It seemed like the thing someone super nerdy like him would be into. She continued to fumble around with the large car when she found a small, red button on the bumper.
She briefly considered the many movies telling her never to press the red button. The many books she read telling her not to push the red button. And the many, many memes telling her not to press the red button. It seemed like all of society was telling her not to push the red button.
Toga slowly pulled her finger away from the red button.
…
She then remembered she was a villain and pushed the red button down as hard as she could.
The car whirled to life in a cacophony of bright neon lights, music far too loud for a toy that size, and the sounds of a small motor coming to life, startling Toga into dropping the toy. It fell to the ground and rapidly began moving across the aisle...
Right under Twice's foot.
Twice stepped on the toy car and, with a girlish shriek, slipped and fell onto the shelving, knocking it over. The knocked shelf fell onto the Endeavor statue, causing it to fall over. An ominous hiss came from the fallen statue.
There was a brief moment where Toga wondered what was causing the hiss. That brief moment quickly ended as Toga got her answer.
...Oh. That's what the holes were for.
Flames erupted from the holes all over the Endeavor statue. They went in every single direction, causing Twice to jump around in a mild panic. Thankfully, it seemed like the store staff thought ahead and the surrounding merchandise was made of flame retardant skin.
Toga breathed a small sigh of relief. Shigaraki might laugh off the small act of arson but he might not be so appreciative of his holiday plans making their way up the chimney.
"Toga! The fire is spreading!" Twice said as he continued to run around in spicy panic.
"Huh, what are you talking about?" Toga asked.
"All that crap on the floor is catching on fire!"
Toga looked around in confusion. There shouldn't be anything that was flammable nearby. What was causing the fire to-
Oh.
Ooohhh….
Turns out, the outer layer of the toys were flame retardant, but the stuffing beneath it wasn't.
And there just so happened to be a fresh layer of flammable stuffing on the ground, courtesy of Toga's knife going on a first date with a teddy bear's neck.
…
Well, crap.
The flames erupted from the stuffing and began to spread to the other, flammable aisles. Heat poured from them, washing over Toga as she wondered if maybe now was a good time to leave.
A quick glance to the back of the store where, for some ungodly reason hydrogen-filled balloons crowded the back, provided her answer.
"Hey Twice? Let's leave," Toga said as she dragged her heavy bag filled with All Might merchandise dow. the stairs.
"Are you sure? It's so nice and warm up here!" Twice called down.
"Yeah, it feels like the flames of hell up here! Perfect for a tan!"
An explosion rang off in the background.
"Nevermind. Explosions are not good for a tan. Cheese it!"
Toga jolted down the stairs as her massive bag pin-balled behind her, leaving a mosaic of dents in the walls. At the bottom, she spotted Shigaraki and Dabi in the middle of an argument.
"Shigaraki, there are other things you can get kids."
"No."
"What about dolls for the girls?"
"Girls can play dress up in Soul Calibur. And they won't have to spend as much on all of the different dresses. Also, way to presume that boys won't want to play with dolls, Dabi."
"We're Villains. Why do you care?"
"Because we ARE villains! Who else better to recruit than those felt most marginalized by society? Is our cause not to right the wrongs of the presumptuous society? If we are truly to be villains, then our aims must be to be accepting of all creeds and beliefs. That way our strength may grow and we can eventually overthrow the majority that dares presume they are in the right because they are the many!"
Dabi gave Shigaraki a confused look, "But we're villains. Isn't being open and accepting a thing that heroes are supposed to do?"
Shigaraki smiled at Dabi like a fox to its prey. "Then why are there marginalized communities, Dabi?"
Dabi looked at Shigaraki in shock. "Woah."
"Right?"
"Does that make us the heroes?"
"Ah, but that brings us to our central question, doesn't it?"
Dabi gave Shigaraki a long, deer-eyed look, "Are you secretly a mad genius?"
"What do you mean secretly?"
"Hi, Boss and Dabi!" Toga said as she ran out the door. "Bye Boss and Dabi!"
Shigaraki stared after her as she left. "Huh, I wondered what's up with her?"
Twice stopped in front of them both in a mad pant. "Toga did it!"
"No, she didn't!
"Everything is on fire!"
"It could be worse."
"Everything is going to explode!
"Everything will be ok as long as we stick to the schedule."
Dabi and Shahraki looked at each other.
They looked back at Twice.
"What?" They both asked in unison.
"We need to save the children!"
"We need to save our asses!"
An explosion rang throughout the area as Shigaraki and Dabi grabbed each other in fright. A large plume of fire rocketed down the central staircase engulfing the entire middle of the large department store in hellfire. Through it all, Twice stood like a stone statue gazing into the fiery abyss.
Twice looked back toward his two companions.
"I'm going to be honest, this is looking a little hairy."
"Run for your lives!"
The three villains grabbed their sacks and bolted to the door, flames hot on their heels. A wide-eyed Spinner joined them in their mad dash to the front door as the flames became a giant inferno of fiery death, determined to rid the world of the League of Villains.
Toga caught her breath as she watched her fellow league members try to outsprint the fiery tornado. A small part of her thought that these flames would get closer to wiping out the League than the real Endeavour ever would.
Her friends leaped out of the store as a giant explosion spread out into the sky. The store behind them caved in from the intense heat and pressure. It was a sight that had Toga drooling; her comrades covered in soot and gashes from the flying debris.
Sadly a single, depressing thought spread through her mind in the same way the explosion had ripped through the building.
"Hey, where's Mr. Compress?"
The four men sprawled on the ground quickly looked at each other in panic.
"Spinner, where's Mr. Compress?" Shigaraki asked accusingly.
"What? Why was I in charge of him?"
"You're the getaway driver. It's your job to make sure we all get away."
Spinner's jaw dropped as he realized he could not defeat Shigaraki's infallible logic.
The sound of the truck pulling up took all of their attention.
Mr. Compress looked out to them all, a cocky look on his face. Well, Toga imagined a cocky look on his face.
Masks.
"Magic," Mr. Compress enigmatically said, waving his hand mystically.
Wordlessly, the League piled into the van, their full bags dragging behind them as they steadfastly ignored the building burning to the ground behind them.
"So, now what?" Toga looked to her leader in excitement.
"We are going to deliver these toys to all the children of Tokyo!"
"How are supposed to deliver these gifts to all of the children in Tokyo?" Dabi gave Shigaraki a skeptical look.
"Simple! We'll use Kurorogi to-"
"Kurorogi isn't here…" Mr. Compress pointed out.
Shigaraki paused.
"We are going to deliver these toys to all the children in a single neighborhood in Tokyo!"
Dabi sighed.
Toga raised her hand in excitement. This was perfect! "I know which neighborhood to deliver these to!"
"Which one?" Shigaraki asked.
"Whatever neighborhood 1234 Parker Ln. Apartment 413, Musutafu is in!" She rattled off perfectly and without pause.
Everyone gave her a flat look.
"Ok!" Shigaraki clapped his hands. "We're all going to Musutafu!"
"Yay!"
"But Toga cannot deliver to that address."
"Aww."
/-/
Shigaraki loved the holidays.
Mostly because every year, Santa got him the best present a young villainous boy could ask for: a week without heroes.
He always made sure he was a very good boy.
If only some other people would think so as well.
"I don't think this is a good idea, Shigaraki."
"What did I tell you Dabi? You need to have faith."
"I think I need more than faith at this point. We're breaking into a child's bedroom Shigaraki."
"Isn't even the first one we broke into tonight, Dabi."
"That doesn't make it better, Shigaraki!"
Shigaraki rolled his eyes as he slid into the small apartment. Dabi just didn't understand. All he needed was faith and time and he would show the world. Because if nothing else, Shigaraki Tomura was a man with a plan. And that plan right now was breaking into the bedroom of a teenage boy.
It was a good plan.
"Why are we breaking into this apartment anyway, Shigaraki," Dabi asked in a hushed whisper as he followed Shigaraki into the apartment. "Isn't this just risky? This guy not only knows us, but he's also a hero-in-training."
Shigaraki laughed, "And? Are you going to let a mere high school student scare you?"
Dabi gave him an incredulous look. "This guy beat Muscular in a fight. Muscular whose quirk literally made him into a mountain of muscles. And this kid beat him in a fistfight."
"Ah, but you see Dabi, we're not fighting with muscles."
"What are we fighting with then?"
Shigaraki gave a twisted smile, the kind that would give an old man a heart attack. "Holiday cheer, Dabi."
Dabi sighed. "Whatever, let's just get this over with. Although, is it a smart idea for you to do this? Don't you have like, a giant hate-boner for the kid?"
"Dabi, I wouldn't be a very good Santa if I let my burning desire to murder a child get in the way of giving said child Christmas joy, now would I?"
"I… guess?"
"Besides, would you rather have Toga do this?"
Dabi sighed, "Fair point. Well, let's just drop off the present and let's get out of here before we get caught."
"That sounds good to me. Just let me pop into his room real quick," Shigaraki said, already opening the door.
"Shigaraki, no!"
Shigaraki turned to him, face cut from stone.
"Shigaraki, yes!"
He dashed inside the room as Dabi facepalmed with a suffering, hushed groan.
It took a lot of effort for Shigaraki to not vomit at the sight of Midoriya's room. Everywhere, in every single inch of his room was All Might.
An angry inferno whirled within him as he slowly inched toward the boy's bed, where Midoriya lay, sound asleep.
Another step.
That damned child, who seemed to be present at every defeat. Wherever Shigaraki went, this stupid child was there. This annoying little boy who was determined to stand against everything Shigaraki fought for.
Another step and Shigaraki found himself standing beside Midoriya.
One touch of his hand and that damning thorn in his side would be gone. With a small movement of his hand, the boy would fade away into nothingness, and the last thing Shigaraki would see of him would be the terror etched into Midoriya's face as he realized it was the end.
Shigaraki slowly sat on the bed and reached his hand. Dabi stood at the door, his eyes wide, too afraid to say anything and wake the child. Instead, he held his breath.
One touch and it would all be over. That's all it would take.
Shigaraki laid his palm on Midoriya's head, fingers hovering above.
Midoriya's eyes opened wide, like giant sauces cracked with terrified, red veins.
"S-Shigaraki?!"
Dabi choked on air.
Shigaraki leaned in close, a demonic smile splitting face.
"No, my child. Santa."
Dabi fell to the floor.
"W-what?" Midoriya stuttered, startled and shocked into lying still.
"I am Santa."
Midoriya stared into Shigaraki's eyes for a long moment, terror still present in his eyes.
...
Then, to Shigaraki's immense pleasure and Dabi's immense shock, Midoriya relaxed with an audible sigh.
"A dream," Midoriya said, closing his eyes and relaxing into Shigaraki's lap. "It's just a really, really weird dream."
Dabi's jaw dropped to the floor, which wasn't saying a lot considering he was still laid out on the floor.
Shigaraki chuckled and demonic laugh and to his delight, Midoriya joined in with him. "Sure, whatever kid. So, what is it that you want for Christmas?"
Midoriya sat up quickly his eyes wide with excitement. "Santa! You can help me! All I want for Christmas is wisdom!"
"Wisdom?" Shigaraki asked, genuinely confused.
"Freaking nerd," Dabi said from the floor.
Midoriya turned to the other occupant in the room, startled. "I-is that?"
"My elf," Shigaraki said without pause.
"This… this is a really weird dream. Why is he in a skirt?"
"Torture," Dabi replied.
"Because he was on my naughty list," Shigaraki said teasingly, prompting Dabi to groan.
"Ah, ok," Midoriya foolishly accepted. "Well, anyway I could use some help with this," He said as he pointed to the whiteboard in the room.
"What the hell is that?" Dabi exclaimed.
"It's my whiteboard," Midoriya responded.
It was chaos, more like it. It was a giant mess of several names with crazed, circles around them and nearly a dozen lines interconnected with each other and long lists on each name. There were multiple things crossed out and re-written.
There was a brief period in Shigaraki's mind where he imagined Midoriya as a villain and was a little disappointed. With a giant conspiracy board like this, Midoriya would have made a damn fine villain.
"What does it all mean?" Shigaraki asked in wonder.
Midoriya gave a short nervous chuckle as he scratched the back of his neck. "A bunch of people in my class is trying to ask me out to the dance and I'm trying to figure out what to do."
…
"What?" Shigaraki flatly asked.
"What?" Dabi flatly repeated.
"What?" Midoriya obliviously replied.
"A-are you serious?" Shigaraki asked.
"Yeah, why? What's wrong?"
"Dude!" Dabi stood up in agitation. "You wrote a freaking essay up there! You're going to need way more professional help than Santa!"
Shigaraki stood up in defiance.
"There is no better help than Santa!" Shigaraki walked over to Midoriya and placed his palms on his shoulders. "Don't worry my child, I will help you. Santa will not give up on you!"
"Santa…" Midoriya looked starry-eyed up at Shigaraki.
Dabi stood off to the side, watching the surreal tableau of one of the most promising heroes in training looking up into the eyes of the leader of the League of Villains in pure wonder and gratitude.
"So, uhhhhh," Dabi interrupted perhaps a little too desperately. "How many people want to ask you out anyway?"
"Four."
"Wow."
"Goddamn."
"Yeah, it was really overwhelming. And then these other people also said they liked me and I just have no idea what to do."
"How many people in your class like you?" Shigaraki asked.
"Umm, there are five that I know of but after careful analysis, I'm fairly sure this one guy also had a crush on me."
"By any chance, does that have anything to do with the giant "CHEESE" in the corner of the board?" Dabi asked.
"That would be the guy I was talking about."
Shigaraki and Dabi stared at each other for a long moment.
"You live a strange, strange life, Midoriya," Dabi consoled. "And that is saying a lot coming from me."
"Yeah, I can only imagine how strange the life of an elf is."
Dabi sighed.
"You have no idea kid."
"So, Midoriya..." Shigaraki began. "Why don't you just ask someone to the dance and get it over with?"
"Well, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings."
Shigaraki and Dabi sighed.
Such a hero…
"Also, I don't want to cause any conflict." Midoriya offered, waving his hand placatingly.
"Conflict?" Shigaraki asked unaware of the Pandora's box he was opening.
Midoriya held his hand to his chin thought as he began his mumblelouge. "Apparently they're all competing over who is going to ask me to the dance and it's making me really uncomfortable but I don't really know how to tell them to stop because they are putting their all into it and isn't that what being a hero is all about but then there is the possibility of one of them hurt emotionally but apparently there even is the chance of them getting hurt physically if Bakugo gets his way and there is also-"
"You should listen to Bakugo," Shigaraki interrupted immediately.
"W-what? B-but Santa?"
"Huh? Oh! I-I mean, uh, that is what a person on the naughty list would do! Ho Ho Ho!" Although from Shigaraki's mouth, it came out as more of a villainous cackle but Shigaraki wasn't one to sweat details.
"Except for Shouto. You should make him suffer," Dabi added before Shigaraki slapped him across the back of his head.
"But uh, yeah. Any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated Santa! Oh! And Santa's little helper!"
"Do not call me that," Dabi said with fire in his eyes. "Also, I think we've established that I think you're beyond help."
"I haven't!" Shigaraki said merrily.
…
Merrily for him, at least.
"Midoriya, if all you want to do is not hurt anyone, then all you have to do is to not cause any pain," Shigaraki said in a lecturing manner.
"Umm, ok? But what does that mean?" Midoriya asked.
Shigaraki let out a great, bellowing laugh that would have made a polar proud. An emaciated polar bear, but still.
"Midoriya, the greatest gifts in life's are the lessons you figure out for yourself. Like my master always said to me, I can light you a match, but it's up to you to burn the bridge."
"Your master didn't sound very nice."
"He was to me and that's all that matters. Now get in bed, Midoriya. A young hero needs his sleep. Who knows when a scary villain will catch you unawares."
Dabi choked.
Midoriya went back in bed and pulled the covers over him, his eyes already lidded from exhaustion. "Thank you, Santa-sensei. I'll try to make sense of your advice in the morning."
"You do that, Midoriya. And if nothing else, follow your heart. It did wonders for me," Shigaraki gave Midoriya one last chapped, disturbingly cheery, face-splitting smile before he made for the door. Behind him. Midoriya drifted asleep, his thought resting on the scary Santa's advice and the mean words of Santa's helper elf with the mini skirt.
Shigaraki and Dabi made their way outside, the night nearly over.
"I can't believe that worked," Dabi said, a look of shock plastered on his face.
"I can. Because I planned it."
"You planned giving one of your worst enemies love advice?"
"I planned on giving him holiday cheer, Dabi."
"Where did you come up with that advice anyway? What's it supposed to mean?"
"Well, most of my life is focused on hurting people, right?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, if I didn't want to do that, then I wouldn't, simple as that."
Dabi dragged his hand across his face. "And how is that going to translate to the kid's love problems?
Shigaraki shrugged, "I don't know. I kept it vague enough so the kid will think of something on his own. Or maybe not. I don't really care either way. He is the enemy.
"What happened to the holiday cheer?"
"I can't help it; I'm a villain after all."
Shigaraki began to walk down the stairs before he stopped, a thought thundering its way through his brain. "Hey, Dabi."
"Yeah, Shigaraki?"
"Don't speak a word of what we learned in there to Toga."
"Are you kidding? It may be close to Christmas, but I'm not suicidal."
"Dude..."
"What?" Dabi said arms wide, the first smile spreading on his face all night. "I can't help it; I'm a villain after all."
Shigaraki smiled.
"Remember. No man is a failure who has friends." —It's a Wonderful Life
Happy holidays and a happy new year everyone!
So, this is a special Christmas-themed chapter for the Christmas fic. I obviously wanted to get this out for Christmas but I got a little busy with the holidays. There were two different families I had to spend the holidays with (my own and my beta/ partner's) so I didn't have so much free time.
Thankfully it was all worth it because I got enough exp to evolve my relationship. Yep, I leveled up and evolved into fiance! It might take a bit for me to level up into my final evolution though. (^.^')
But yeah, I popped the question and now my beta girlfriend is now my beta fiancee! I'll probably start referring to her as Poptart to make things easier.
Anyways, to all of you waiting for the Jirou cliffhanger to be resolved, I'm sorry! Hopefully, a cracky villain interlude and the longest chapter in the fic so far will make up for it!
I actually had a lot of fun writing the league and A LOT of fun writing Midoriya with them. TBH, I might actually write another fic where Midoriya joins League but tries to make them heroic like the cinnamon bun he is.
Might make it a resolution along with the other MHA fic I'm planning. (^.~ )
I'd also like to take this moment to thank you all for all of your support over the last few months. As I said, I'm new to writing fiction and I've been blown away by all of the support I've gotten. Thank you all so much and l of your feedback and support is greatly appreciated!
And as always, thank you for reading and please leave any feedback you can!
Happy holidays and a prosperous New Year!
-Dorky Desperado