Chapter 24: Identity Crisis

"I had another supper with Link today. Liari had recommended pumpkin soup for the meal, and it seemed to loosen him up quite a bit. He even answered one of my questions, though I dared not ask more and cause him to retreat back to the stiff and silent knight he was.

"I finally managed to ask him why he remains so quiet, so… silent. With so much at stake, and so many eyes upon him, he feels it necessary to appear the invincible hero the people want to see. He believes himself…weak.

"After a long silence, and me eating my soup, he began to mumble something. I looked up to see the funniest expression on his face. He was frowning at it with an eyebrow raised, as if he was telling off a disobedient child.

"When I asked him if he always chastised his food, he blushed. I can remember how adorable it was when he said 'maybe…' He told me I was fortunate that I couldn't hear his thoughts.

"He did tell me what his thoughts were, though. Apparently there was a lot of screaming… 'For dramatic effect, of course.'

"And when I told him I would like to see this side of him more often, he… smiled. It vanished just as quickly as it had appeared, but the memory of it is burnt into my mind. It transformed his face. I'm sure even more women would be lining up for a Hylian Champion fan club if they'd seen it.

"How wrong I had been about him. I had thought that he was simply a gifted person who had never faced a day of hardship. I was so absorbed in my own problems that I failed to see his. Perhaps… perhaps we are more alike than I had first thought.

"But at least he pays attention to those around him.

"I hope to see more of his true self. And I sincerely wish to see him smile like that once more."

Link gasped awake again. He blearily blinked his eyes, before sitting up and wiping the sweat from his forehead. "Seriously, this is getting ridiculous." Link mumbled.

"If you would simply accept that there was nothing you could do, there is a 98% chance that your nightmares would culminate." Fi chimed.

"Too bad." Link said with a growl. "I'll never forgive myself, and I'd rather let myself be tortured by nightmares than 'accept that there was nothing I could do.'"

"...That is an interesting concept, Master. However, I worry that your low opinion of yourself will seriously affect your health." Fi replied emotionlessly.

Link stood up, ignoring the sword, only to have his knee buckle. He yelped as he slammed into the table beside his bed.

"Ugh…" Link mumbled.

"Perhaps it would be best if you did something about the cap-"

"Nope." Link said firmly. "If I did anything more than I already am, it would be far worse." He's my superior. I follow his orders. End of discussion.

A memory of the previous evening came to mind, and Link unconsciously smiled slightly.

Well… At least someone wants to see my real personality. And then… maybe we can be friends?

Link's gaze darkened.

What are you thinking? He scolded. No one likes you, except maybe Liari. The princess is probably just saying that to get on your good side.

Link shook off the sudden thought and stood up slowly, putting little weight on his knee. What am I going to do today?

Though he was the princess's appointed knight, Link didn't accompany her constantly in the castle. The castle had guards posted every few feet- she was perfectly safe. The only reason he would have to accompany her is if she desired it.

"I am not in need of an escort. I'll be fine on my own."

Fat chance of her 'desiring' his company. Why did she invite me to those dinners?

She has been acting differently lately… and she did apologize. Why? I dunno. I totally deserve anything bad that comes my way anyway.

"I actually find it far more comfortable to be around you when you are like this, not when you're all stiff and knightly."

Maybe that's why she didn't like him? Because he had been so "stiff and knightly?"

But isn't that what people want to see?

Now Link didn't know how to act. He wanted to be himself, sure, but most people would lose faith in one as soft as him. They'd be sure that he was going to fail.

And if he continued to act "stiff and knightly," then would the other champions dislike him because of it? Or would they hate him more as himself? The princess preferred him as himself...

I don't know who to be anymore. Link realized as he dressed. I'm split. Split between being myself, and being the hero that everyone wants to see.

So… who do I need to be?

"Fi? What do you think?" Link asked quietly.

"My calculations say that you must find your own path."

"Wow." Link muttered. "Real helpful, Fi."

"Is that what is considered sarcasm?"

"Yes, Fi." Link said with a roll of his eyes.

Enough of my stupid identity crisis. Link thought as he walked out the door. I'm sure Epona wouldn't object to a nice ride. I can figure this out later.

"Princess?" Liari asked.

Zelda nodded. Liari opened the door the rest of the way and allowed the princess to enter.

"Have you by any chance seen Sir Link around lately?" Zelda asked as Liari closed the door.

"What time is it?" Liari asked. She went to the window.

Zelda watched curiously.

"So… it's nearly noon." Liari said, returning to Zelda. Zelda nodded. Okay? "He might be in the kitchen, but he might not. He doesn't like letting people see how he gets around food." Liari examined Zelda for a moment. "You know about that, right?"

Zelda nodded. "Yes." But I think it's kind of cute.

Liari smirked slightly. "Anyway, he also likes riding Epona a lot. So either he's in the kitchen doing his… cute thing, or he's somewhere out in Hyrule Field." Liari paused. "If you want, then maybe I can show him to you."

Zelda blinked. "'Show?'"

"Sheikah magic." Liari winked. "Shows you the location of a person, and to the more advanced Sheikah, their thoughts. But I'm definitely not advanced."

Zelda thought for a moment. Hyrule Field is still a bit… large. It would probably be a good idea to know Link's location if I want to find him.

And if he's too far away, then I can ask him about the fruitcake later.

"Well, it's not as if it can mentally damage me, can it?" Zelda asked.

"Nope." Liari said surely. "If you don't believe me, ask Link. I test all my spells on him."

Zelda looked at Liari wide eyed. "Has anything bad happened to him?"

"Um...No….?" Liari paused. "Okay, well, there was that one time when we were really little where I practiced a vision spell and he thought that he was going to get attacked by cuccos in the 'future.' And I guess that one time not so long ago where I put him into this dream state and he had a really bad nightmare, but other than that, he hasn't had any bad experiences. I think."

"If you say so…" Zelda said unsurely. Just do the spell before I start second guessing myself.

"Alright. Close your eyes…"

Zelda did as Liari said, and she heard Liari mumble a few words.

Color filled the inside of her eyelids until she found herself in the clearing of a forest. Oh, that pocket of trees just south of the Sacred Grounds. In front of her was a familiar knight in his blue tunic. Does he have any other clothes? Zelda thought suddenly, realizing she had never seen him wear anything else.

Link was lying up against a tree. Epona, his horse, was grazing beside him.

His expression, unlike the usually stoic knight, was so… at peace. He wasn't smiling, but his brow was relaxed.

He was asleep.

Then the peaceful expression melted away. His brow furrowed suddenly, and his face contorted into something else.

It was shame. Disgrace. Guilt. Agony. Not a hint of the peace in his previous expression remained.

Zelda wanted to go shake him awake. His expression was so broken, so… burdened.

"I…" The whisper was so quiet that Zelda's long ears strained to hear it. "I'm sorry…"

A ringing noise came from the sheathed sword beside him.

His eyes shot open, and his was breathing heavily.

He took a deep breath and composed himself, before looking down at the sword. "Thank you, Fi. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

A ring came in reply.

The boy narrowed his eyes. "I already told you." Link said firmly. "I'll probably fight the calamity, actually, I'll probably die long before I forgive myself. Haven't I explained this before?"

Another chime came from the sword.

Link groaned. "Yeah, I don't like the nightmares. But I'd rather be tormented by them for… all eternity-"

The sword interrupted. It is really strange hearing only one side of the conversation.

"Yeah, sure." Link mumbled. "Okay, the rest of 'this lifetime.' Happy?"

A ring sounded.

"Too bad." He seemed to be thinking something very hard at the sword. "Okay, I'd rather be tormented for the rest of this life than forgive myself!"

The sword let out another noise.

"Because it's all my fault, that's why!" Link growled. His eyes were watering. Then he closed his eyes.

He sighed and took in a deep breath.

When he opened his eyes, he was back to the stoic and silent knight. "Sorry." Link said emotionlessly. "I got too worked up, didn't I?"

Epona snorted.

Link stood. "It's time I get back." He slung the Master Sword over his shoulder and made his way to Epona.

"Princess? Hey, wake up! Listen, please!"

The scene melted away, and Zelda was back in Liari's office.

"Princess, are you alright?"

"Did you- did you see that?" Zelda asked quickly.

Liari nodded with a sad smile. "It's worse than I thought. He still won't forgive himself."

"Forgive himself for what?" Zelda asked a bit exasperatedly.

Liari opened her mouth, and then closed it with a shake of her head. "You'll have to ask him yourself."

Then Zelda remembered how Link had stood. He hadn't been walking to Epona! He had been been limping...!

Captain Fuer, Zelda thought. Prepare to be proven guilty.

Huh. Well, Zelda found out a bit more about Link. YOU GO, FI! TELL HIM! TELL HIM REAL GOOD!

This is actually one of my longest chapters! YIPEE!

Hopefully we get some justice next chapter. I might have Zelda throwing stuff, but maybe not? We'll see.

KEEP REVIEWING! IT MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY, AND GIVES ME IDEAS, AND MOTIVATION AND STUFF!

Replies!

AriTheDoggo: Shut up. No one likes you.

The-Fallen-Spirit: Uh... (Me internally: CRAP! Someone's figured it out! Now I've got to hide from all the Mipha x Link shippers!)

MeaninglessMayhem: Cool! I did pumpkin carving last week! We may or may not have used power tools. *Reads rest of review* *Claps* Perfection.

SmokeyMirrors: Did you know that if you go into a haunted house believing that you aren't scared, you won't be? And if you believe you will, you will? It's interesting what your state of mind can do. I'm going to a haunted house on Halloween, but the only other thing that's the closest is when I got lost in a corn maze. Sounds like you had fun! Why thank you! I'm making the costume myself (withhelpfrommymom), so that's part of the reason my updates have been getting slower. Link is totally adorable. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. They the best sibs around! I MIGHT BE BIASED, BUT WHATEVER! *Insert screaming (for dramatic effect, of course)* Oh, yes. *that weird hand thing that evil people do (you get what I'm talking about? No? Okay.* That captain is going to regret messing with Link. ...Now I want to see Zelda do that. Link would totally be like, "Um, Princess, I can't tell you what to do, buuuut this is probably not the best idea." Dark Link? That reminds me of this idea where Post BoTW Link duels with Pre BoTW Link. It was a weird idea, I know. I've always found Dark Link interesting, too! I'll have to see if I can fit him in somewhere... oooh, here come the ideas! JINX! GET MY NOTEBOOK! That's okay. I'll have to put more horse stuff in here! Now I've got more ideas to put horse stuff in. JINX! WHERE IS MY NOTEBOOK?! Cats these days. Just not as dependable, am I right? Gold stars? *Sun glasses appear somehow?* Here. Take them.*throws gold stars into the air* Link needs some cuddling. HE's SO sAd! I'M DYING AS I'M WRITING THIS STUFF! POOR LINK! *Clears throat* I think I got a bit crazy in this Author's Note, but that's probably because it's one of those days. You know, the ones where you just can't stop being weird. Don't worry. I won't break their friendship. Not on purpose, anyway. If it happens, blame it on the cat. Good night! I'm glad you enjoy it so much! :D

Oof. Welp, thanks guys. I hope you enjoyed reading! secretreviewmessage: Death to the captain!

Thanks again! I'm so glad you guys enjoy this! When I'm done with this, I plan on writing more, so feel free to give ideas!

Sincerely (Probably),

Ari