That break was a little longer than I would have liked, but not much I can really do about it now. I'll be moving soon, so I have to pack up and such. Who knows? Maybe a new space will help the creative juices. :)
Sorry if you don't like how short the chapter is. I've had a poll up for the last few months asking if you would like it more if I did long chapter or shorter chapters, meaning I'd have more chapters in total. The majority currently says shorter chapters, so I'll try that. I sometimes felt that if I went over 100 or something that you all would think that I don't have an ending for this and give up. But if numbers don't matter, I'll be more than happy to break things up a little for the sake of more frequent updates. (At least that's what I hope it will add up to!) I have an ending, which will come after this arc. We'll get there, don't worry :)
Thanks for your patience, by the way. Just one of many reasons why you guys are awesome.
And for those of you who had to deal with it, I'm sorry for the messy chapters that occurred as a result of the page breaks I used to use being deleted without my knowledge. It looks awful, and I'm trying to fix them as fast as I can. Thanks again for your patience!
Notes: The Ryukyuan are a demographic of indigenous people who live in the Ryukyuan islands. Some of them also live in Okinawa, and speak a division of Japanese, aptly titled "Okinawan". I will be using the Okinawa native sect whenever I mention them within the story.
A Gift of Love – Chapter Eighty-Nine: Helpless As a Babe
"So...Small..."
The moment those words reached his ears, HoroHoro spun around, his eyes filled with horror.
"RONG!!"
Hao made eye contact with him, then slashed diagonally upwards at Rong's chest. She couldn't find it in her to dodge, so it hit her, the force pulling her off the ground. With her suspended, he thrust the burning blade into her midsection. As it entered her, her entire body became engulfed in flames. When he was satisfied, he pulled the weapon out, then gave a swift kick to the wound. She sailed across the clearing and crashed into the ground.
She twitched. Her body would still feel the flames around her, though they had disappeared when the Kwan Dao was pulled out. They hadn't been as intense as they could have been. Hao had purposely held back on her. After teasing her about taking the easy way out, he wasn't about to let her die peacefully.
She could hear him approaching her, ready to deal the final blow. Despite the pain she struggled to stand, determined to continue fighting. It was fruitless. Her body had already shut down and given up. She couldn't even turn her head.
"I suppose this means it was smart of you to run away," her adversary chortled.
The truth stung her. It burned more than the flames she had just been covered with.
I'm so fucking weak...
She tensed and waited for him to kill her. He grinned as the Kwan Dao began its descent, ready to savor her family's angst-ridden faces.
CLANG
Rong's eyes opened slightly, then shifted their gaze. Two strong legs were standing on either side of her. Even with her blurred vision, she could make out the form of expensive black slippers.
"Hnn...Don't you think Rong will be upset if you step in like this?" Hao taunted.
"I really couldn't care less," Ren replied defiantly. "We care more about her survival than her pride at the moment."
Hao's eyes flashed as he smirked. "You're wasting your time with her. Without Pin-Mei's healing arts, you have no way of treating her injuries. Isn't that right?"
Ren remained silent as he continued to push against his Kwan Dao with Houraiken. Bastard.
HoroHoro dashed to his wife and held out his ikupasuy. "Kororo!" His friend chirped and oversouled into the prayer stick. He looked up. "Okay, Ren!"
Ren nodded and shoved Hao back with all the force he had. When their enemy was far enough away, he jumped back. A tall, thick wall of ice arose and created a protective circle around the group. HoroHoro handed his oversoul to Ren to hold while he saw to Rong.
He propped her up, taking off his coat and pressing it against her in an effort to stop the bleeding. "Dammit...I don't have anything to wrap around her!"
Sheng watched them, subconsciously touching the back of her neck. After thinking it over, she turned and quickly unraveled the bandages that bound her chest. When she had retied her halter top, she sheepishly held them out to the distraught man.
"Here."
He looked her over, obviously surprised. As far as Sheng knew, Rong was just an unfortunate soul caught in the crossfire. There was no real reason for her to help. Nevertheless, he would be foolish not to accept any help at this point. He gratefully took the bandage from her.
"This too..." She gave him a vial with a green cap, quickly looking away.
Rong looked at the girl's vest. Just as she thought, the space for the Last Rites bottle was bare. Heh...Thanks...
HoroHoro poured it on her wounds, then tightly wrapped her in the bandage. When he was through, his lap was covered in her blood. Horrified, he held her close to him as Seta joined them.
"J-Just hold on, okay?" Horokeu said in a shaky voice. "Pin-Mei will show up soon, then you'll be as good as new!"
Ren bowed his head. The Ainu was only giving his wife and son false hope. Pin-Mei was most likely still sleeping as he had told her to. At the same time, he couldn't bring himself to shatter that hope, however small.
Seta couldn't say anything. He just stared at his mother in disbelief. He had always admired how strong she was, both mentally and physically. It was nauseating to see her in such a vulnerable state – to see her skin go pale and the light in her eyes begin to fade.
His father saw this and shook her. "R-Rong! Just stay with us! Remember I told you that you better not die?!"
"...Yeah...I can't die...I don't want Seta to grow up to be a dolt like you..." she whispered faintly.
He stiffened. "That's right! You don't want me raising Seta all alone, do you?! I'll screw up so bad, he'll never get Lien to like him!" he said with a nervous laugh. "Remember you said that you'd make sure they got together? Well, do you?!"
She fell silent.
"Rong..."
"Quiet...the match is starting...I need full concentration to take these stupid pictures..."
Ren's widened slightly. He turned to Sheng, pointing to the opposite side of the shelter. "Go over there, cover your ears, and start reciting Pi."
"W-What?"
"Just do it."
She obeyed, albeit confused. Ren turned back to Rong.
She's becoming delusional from blood loss. There's no telling what she could blurt out. I don't approve of the lies, but that really isn't something I want to deal with right now.
"Dammit...they won't sit still for two seconds...Lady Pin-Mei doesn't want her precious Ren to be a blue blur..." she murmured. "...and now that other blue-haired idiot is in the way..."
HoroHoro and Seta looked down at her, both at a loss for words. Her husband shook her. "Rong! The Shaman Fight's over! It's been over for a long fucking time!"
He saw images of her smiling as she made dinner. Her dropping a laundry basket on him, demanding he do his part. How she clutched him at the hospital as they watched over Xue. The look in her eyes as she stood before him in her bridal robes – wearing one of few bashful smiles she had given him.
"Don't you remember anything that's happened since then? You're not fighting anymore! You've left Pin-Mei in Ren's care since we rescued her! You don't have to stand on the battlefield by yourself anymore!"
Rong pictured her eighteen year-old self standing in a dark arena, whip in hand, her head bowed. It had been so hard being the only one who could properly defend her mistress. Ling and Shu were nowhere near as adept in fighting, and barely served as body shields. The pressure to do well. The pressure to uphold her family's honor. It brought her to her knees.
But a hand offered itself to her. She looked up to see a smiling face. She looked around. Ren and Pin-Mei stood to her right, her children to her left. She reached for the hand.
"...That's right...all of that is over...I'm not in that place anymore..." she whispered. "…Who shall I die as...Wei Rong...Usui Rong...Wei..."
It was then that it hit him; even after all of these years, Rong had never been completely his. No matter how much love he gave, nothing could undo the wiring that had been put in place when she was an infant. A piece of her would always belong to Pin-Mei. It wasn't enough to cause her love for him to waver by any means, but he now saw why she had been so caught up in her past for the last week. Traditionally, a Wei warrior was supposed to die protecting her mistress or die when her lady did, whether it was her fault or not. Her service had ended prematurely. As Rong herself had said, she hadn't accepted that Pin-Mei was no longer in her care. That was why she had exploded at her former mistress's plea for help. That was why she was so bent on fighting a losing battle. He'd had a bittersweet feeling when Seta had told him about his mother's assistance in choosing a lemur plush for Lien. It had only served to recount old memories of the duty she once had.
"Usui Rong..." she breathed. "After all...I'm a wife and mother first..." The people I must protect...
Seta quickly captured her hand, squeezing it tight. "M-Mom..."
Her eyes slowly blinked. "Ren...would you mind telling Pin-Mei that it was a cheap shot? I don't want her to think I'm weak."
Ren lowered his eyes. "She wouldn't think you were weak at all. Don't think such foolish things."
The woman smiled. "Maybe." She turned to her husband. "Hey...remember when we first met?"
"Of course I do..." he said with a shaky laugh. "I thought you were a butch lesbian that needed to get laid, but then I got to know you, and it was so stupid of me to think that. I admired how strong you were when we fought Suo, and how you kept fighting even after Pin-Mei died." He saw her eyes twitch ever so slightly – narrowing and then relaxing again. "What is it?"
"Is that the earliest you remember?"
He tilted his head. "Yeah...why? Am I missing something?"
She started to say something, then decided against it. Instead, she smiled faintly and gathered her thoughts. "No, nothing. Guess I'm just imagining things."
He dismissed it, not wanting to waste time on trivial details.
"The fire went out...?" she whispered.
"What?"
She inhaled deeply, her body trembling as she reached for his hand. "It's really dark. Pitch black. I can't see. That's because Hao's fire went out...right?"
HoroHoro took her hand and held her body closer to him. Seta hugged her, his head on her sternum.
"Yeah," her husband said in a gasped whisper. "The fire's just gone out, that's all. That's why it's so dark."
"Just...checking..."
As her body went into shock, HoroHoro quickly looked to Ren. "P-Pin-Mei taught you some of her healing arts, right? You can heal her just enough to hold her over until Pin-Mei gets here, right?"
Ren reluctantly shook his head. It had never occurred to him to have his wife share her skills.
The Ainu looked back at his wife, devastated.
"Sorry...heh..."
"What do you mean?" he asked quietly.
"I got caught up in myself and forgot that I'm weak compared to the rest of you...Now I've slowed you two down."
"Stop saying you're weak, dammit!" he yelled. "Don't you remember when I left you to go tame the Spirit of Rain?! You were already three months pregnant with Seta, and you had Xue to take care of, but you just punched my shoulder and told me to go do what I had to do. You didn't complain about having to work or about having to be a single mother while I was gone. You even sat up waiting for me when I called you and told you I was on my way home...A weak person can't suddenly take over and hold down the fort all by herself at the drop of a hat! Especially when she's pregnant! But you did it, Rong! Pin-Mei had Li and the servants to take care of her while Ren was away, but you only had yourself. Pirika said you hardly asked for help. You cared for three people on your own...so don't you dare call yourself weak!"
"Alright...Sorry..." she smirked faintly. "I'm pretty badass...That better?"
He smiled weakly. "Yeah, much better."
Seta nodded. "That's right, Mom, you are. I'm really proud to have you for a mom. You've always been there for me and Xue whenever we needed you. You've always been willing to help. I couldn't ask for a better Mom. I hate it when you put yourself down."
"Thanks...That means a lot to me." She coughed a couple time then leaned back again. Her body quivered as blood began to seep from her mouth.
Tears brimmed her husband's eyes, but he forced a concerned smile, knowing there was nothing more he could do for her. "You okay?"
She nodded, returning the smile. "Yeah, of course...Who the hell...do you think...I am?"
The three looked at each other. Minutes passed. Her body quivered more.
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too..." She looked to Seta. "And I love you too...both of you..."
"I love you too, Mom..."
Rong looked up at HoroHoro again, only able to see a faint silhouette.
"How's...my pokerface...Am I showing anything...?"
He studied her. Her eyes were quivering slightly, the space underneath them discolored in contrast to her now pale face, but he could tell she was doing her best to steady them. She was trying her hardest to look tough and hide the pain she was feeling.
"I can't read it at all," he said.
She grinned. "Hah...Fuck that...bastard...I...win..."
The mask shattered. Her eyes closed peacefully after one last twitch of pain. Then she slumped against his chest.
The Usui men sat emotionless for a few moments. Then HoroHoro stiffly lifted his arms and clamped them around his wife. Seta dug his nails into his mother's left arm as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. He put his free arm around his father's waist, who quickly wrapped his arm around him.
The family of four was suddenly a family of two.
Ren stepped back and lowered his eyes. The Usuis had been sucked into this mess. They had lost the most. All because he insisted they let Rong fight. If he had stopped her, she would still be there. He couldn't fight the guilt. There was no point in even trying.
Hao grinned at the icy wall as he felt the dimming flicker of furyoku being snuffed out. Another one down. Five possible allies were out of commission. The only minor threat that remained was the double team of the Spirit of Thunder and the Spirit of Rain. Sheng and Seta were barely on his radar at all. He expected very little from them.
"Um...excuse me...Hao-Sama?"
He scowled. "What," he replied in a sharp tone.
Tadashi flinched. "Well...back then, you said that I'd be your vessel for when you return. I just wanted to know why you've taken Ren's body instead."
Hao heaved an annoyed sigh, then turned to face him. "Is it really that hard to figure out?" When Tadashi only gawked at him, he begrudgingly continued. "The Tao family is quite illustrious, not to mention powerful. This body has been bred since birth to carry on the legacy of power that they're so proud of. You? You were raised with no sense of power whatsoever. You were raised as a normal human, someone who thought shamans were only in faerie tales. When I have the option of choosing a powerful body versus one as weak as yours, which is the more logical choice?"
The young man's eyes quivered. He clenched his hands into fists and glared at his master. It was all coming together. "You lied to me...You tricked me!"
"The circumstances simply gave me a better opportunity."
Tadashi looked like he was about to lunge at him. He put up a hand to halt him.
"I really wouldn't. Have you forgotten that it is I who is supplying the furyoku to keep your soul here in this world? We had a bargain. I'd let you have your petty revenge, and you would prepare my revival. I may have insinuated that I would take your body, but thankfully everything played out the way I wanted it to. I see no reason for you to be upset. I've allowed you to remain here even after the bargain was fulfilled, haven't I?"
The fool's gaze drifted to the ground, defeated. "So now what?" He squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head away in distress. "Why am I still here?! What the hell do you want with me?!"
"You're my reserve."
His head snapped up. "Reserve? W-What do you mean?"
Hao sneered, slightly impatient. "Should I, for whatever reason, need any furyoku, I'll just take it from you. You're nothing more than a bank of furyoku for my convenience, just a dense mass that happens to have a soul."
Tadashi's eyes went blank as he took it all in. He was a pawn. An idiot. A tool. A fool. He had believed every word he had been told as he wallowed in self pity in Hell. Hao's words had entranced him. It had taken so little for him to agree. To think that he could get revenge for all the pain Xue had put him through had been enough to grasp that hand from outside the fence and make the deal.
"It's funny that you're playing the victim when you're the one who murdered an innocent girl after jumping to your own foolish conclusions."
"W...What?"
Hao sneered, then turned away from him to await HoroHoro's inevitable revenge.
Tadashi's body shook. Jumping to conclusions? What? What does he mean? Is he talking about Xue?
He paused. He thought of her pleas, her calling out to him, her apologies, her screams. For the first time, his mind traced back through the events of that Christmas Eve until the Valentine's Day that followed. Had she ever meant to hurt him? That day he took his life, had she egged him on? Would she have told him she loved him if he had made it clear that it was all he needed?
She still wanted me after I caused her to be hospitalized...After I made her seal away her memories just to escape the torture and the pain and the guilt of something she hardly had a part in...And I still...
"No..."
He dropped to his knees, grasping the mud.
"No...No...Xue..."
What can I do? How can I possibly make up for this? If I try anything, Hao will just kill me! Xue...
As he thought of the woman he had loved and killed, her face melted away to reveal the smiling visage that had captured his heart a mere two weeks ago. He looked up at the barrier.
She's the only one left that I can protect. He grabbed at his heart. I'm the only one who can give her what she needs right now. But I have to wait as long as I can. If enough time passes, it'll begin to sort itself out on its own. He clenched a fist. Don't worry, Lien. I won't let him get you. I won't let you die. I'll save you.
The sound of cracking ice echoed through the air. He looked up to see the arctic wall shatter, the pieces crashing to the ground.
"Ah, it looks like they're ready," Hao mused.
Seta was still clutching his mother's body, his face stained with tears. His father was already standing, Ren by his side. HoroHoro clutched his ikupasuy and kept his eyes low. Ren glanced at him with hard eyes.
"Keep your head. Remember the plan."
The Ainu grunted in response. Ren know that this was going to be even harder than he had anticipated. He eyed Hao's minions, sizing up the likelihood of either of them interfering.
Suo's probably not going to go out of her way to join the fight since I'm assuming she's waiting for Pin-Mei. He raised an eyebrow at Tadashi, who he noticed was staring past him. Ren glanced behind him to see Sheng standing in front of Lien, guarding her. He lowered his head momentarily in thought, then looked back to the young man. I'm not sure what he's doing, but considering his lack of attention during the last fight, I don't think he's anything to worry about.
He turned to his partner. "Let's go."
HoroHoro nodded. "I'm ready to kill this bastard."
The men took their stances.
"SPIRIT OF RAIN!"
"SPIRIT OF THUNDER!"
A berg of jagged ice appeared as lightning dove at the ground next to it. In a few moments, the elemental spirits would appear, and their plan would be set into motion. Both held their breath, waiting for the summoning to be complete.
Ren twitched. Behind him, the lightning exploded, stray shocks bouncing off his spine. The glacier cracked. The ice shattered, crumbling to the ground like a decrepit spire. HoroHoro's eyes were wide as he looked to his comrade.
The spirits were nowhere in sight. The summoning had failed.
Neither of the men spoke, unable to explain what had transpired. But there was no need to. A taunting cackle sounded, and their hearts filled with dread.
"Congratulations, gentlemen. You've made wonderful lab rats for testing my new tags."
They looked up. Suo was holding two large strips of paper made of heavy material.
She couldn't have possibly...
"Yes, it uses a vast amount of furyoku, but with the help of Hao-Sama's power, it can easily be done." She slipped the seals into her sleeve. "You boys defeated Hao-Sama without those spirits before, so I don't think it's unreasonable for you to fight without them once again." She gave them a devious smile. "Don't worry, I'll keep them safe."
The remaining redheads looked on.
"D-Dad…"
Sheng hesitated, turning the matter over in her mind, then stood up. As she began walking toward the battlefield, Seta reached up and grabbed her wrist, fumbling with the body in his lap.
"Where are you going?!"
She exhaled slowly. "I'm going to protect my mistress and her father from this fiend."
"But…Just stay here! You want to stay with Lien, don't you?"
"I do, but I've realized that I've been holding back all this time. I haven't been working as hard as I should. I need to protect My Lady – even if it means fighting…him…"
He leaned over to see her face more clearly. Her eyes told him she was conflicted, torn between doing her duty and hurting someone she cared about. She saw his gaze out of the corner of her eye, but avoided direct contact so as not to give herself away. Instead, she glanced at Rong's body.
"I'd never met her before today, but I almost feel like she knew about me, about my family, for a long time. She said things that made me reflect on my past actions. If I had paid more attention to Lady Lien, I could have prevented her from running away, and we wouldn't be in this mess. You would still have a mother if I hadn't been so ignorant."
She looked to the sky, letting out a small laugh.
"I've been an utter failure as a guard. The least I can do now is assist Master Ren in winning this fight." She finally looked back at him. "Should I fail again, please protect My Lady in my place."
With that, she marched forward to stand at the Tao head's side. He glanced at her derisively, and she responded by drawing her tonfas and twirling them into position.
"Master Ren, please allow me to be of use to you."
He scoffed at her. "I believe your job is to protect my daughter," he replied, his voice full of spite.
"I-I'll take care of her!" Seta called up. Ren slowly turned to look at him. The boy cringed under his icy stare. "I-I mean…"
"Alright."
"What?"
Ren turned back around. "Take care of her – as well as yourself. I will do the same."
Seta blinked.
"I believe you have something to discuss with me when we're through here. Don't die before we have that discussion."
The Ainu remained silent for a moment, then his eyes lit up. "Yes, sir!"
HoroHoro grinned at him. "Is that your only motivation?"
"Of course not," Ren replied. He closed his eyes, then opened them slightly. "Pin-Mei's the only one who can possibly free the elemental spirits. Even then, if she shows up and we're dead, she'll have no idea what's transpired so far. I don't her to die because of that." I don't want her to die, even if I do. Period. "We need to stall long enough so she has the chance to catch up to us. Then we might be able to get our spirits back."
"You think she can override Suo's tags?"
He nodded. "Can't you feel it? She obviously thinks she's gained a lot of power by siding with Hao, but she's not significantly more powerful than the last time we fought her." A certain sense of pride entered his voice. "Pin-Mei's grown a lot since then. She's become much stronger. I have no doubt that she could overpower Suo if she were here."
HoroHoro smirked. "Alright. Let's just hope she's not napping somewhere. This isn't the time for beauty sleep." They looked to Hao, who was waiting patiently for them. "Now what?"
"Work with what we have."
"Heh. Kickin' it old school?"
"Use whatever phrase you wish. Just implement the same basic plan, but using Bason and Kororo instead."
"Alright, Mr. Control Freak."
Ren didn't reply. He locked eyes with his son. With Hao. He filled his mind with the painful scenes that had plagued his family for the past week. It was all caused by the demon in front of him.
Lien's distraught face when she had stumbled down the stairs and into his arms, blood running down her thighs. The heated argument with Pin-Mei, and how he had been possessed to lay a hand on her. The look on her face when he had woken up, surprised to be alive. The way she had clung to him in the shower, and later as he put her to bed, determined to never be without him again. He remembered the terror in his son's eyes whenever he entered the Ryuyou no Ma, each time he tortured him to drag a confession out of him for a crime he didn't commit. The vials of poison that had been used on his children. His youngest son's disappearance. The bodies of his friend's children when he had been too late. Rong dying before his very eyes.
His daughter's cold, beaten body, and the haunting words of devotion she spoke for the man who wanted her soul.
As the hatred built, he allowed the visage of his son to melt away, and with it the feelings of love he seldom admitted to having. He allowed the apathy at the thought of killing him in cold blood to take over.
He allowed the killing intent to consume him until his humanity was gone.
It was all he could do to prevent himself from holding back.
He lifted Houraiken and called for Bason.
I'll kill you, Hao. No matter what it takes. Even if I have to kill my son to do it. You won't leave these woods alive. I'll leave you begging to return to hell.
February 15, 2002
The mother slowly awoke, her grey eyes prudently surveying the room. Her gaze fell on the man at her bedside. He was holding a newborn with dark hair, the baby wriggled every so often, but did not cry. She smiled.
"He looks healthy," she said quietly.
The man looked down at his son and stroked his cheek. "Yes. The nurses said there were no complications."
"That's good," she said, her voice tired. She held out her arms, and her baby was given to her. "He's beautiful. We're so lucky. He even looks like you."
He smiled. They admired their child for a small while, then her boyfriend moved to speak.
"For a name, I was thinking of—"
"Yuntaku," she said, cutting him off. "I've decided to name him Yuntaku."
He stared at her. "Isn't that…an Okinawan name?"
She smiled. "Yes. Mother thought it was a wonderful name."
His body stiffened, desperate to reason with her. "But why not give him a normal name? His hair doesn't resemble yours, so he'll have a chance to fit in better at school. Why condemn him to endure the harassment you did?"
"But I had you there to protect me…Sensei," she added at the last moment, her voice teasing.
"But that's—"
"And he won't be teased. Mother made preparations to have us go back to Okinawa so we can raise him among his own people. He'll be plenty safe from ridicule there."
Her eyes were closed with her bright smile. His mouth was agape as he tried to understand his lack of control of the situation.
"What am I going to do, then?"
"Come with us, of course!" She cradled her child, gently swinging her arms back and forth. "You'll finally be able to meet my family and learn the Ryukyuan culture, just like you said you wanted. I'm so excited!" She opened her eyes and looked at her former teacher. "Isn't this great?"
He mustered a smile. "Yes. Wonderful."
As she continued cooing at the infant, the father grimaced once more. Deciding all that on her own. She thinks she's going to raise our son to be a tree-worshiping savage. I won't allow it!
He watched the baby squirm before attaching himself to his mother's breast.
She promised that she would support me in pursuing becoming a police officer. How am I supposed to do that if we move to some nomad village?! She lied! His fists tightened. Everything was going fine before her mother got involved. We agreed that we would stay in Osaka to raise him, that we would do all we could to make sure he had a happy, prosperous life without being tormented by his classmates. Why the hell should that change? I lost my job because of this relationship, and now I'm being shafted again. I won't stand for this!
His student gently pressed her cheek against her baby's head. She looked overjoyed, so happy, so thankful to be blessed with a child. In watching her, his love momentarily returned, and he regretted his feelings. It wasn't her fault, was it? No, surely he could convince her to go with their original plans. Surely she didn't want to involve him in her culture. Surely—
Soft singing met his ears. He perked up, eager to recognize the song she was singing - her first lullaby to their child.
But he couldn't. The melody was foreign, as were the words.
Ryukyuan words.
The anger set in again. He clutched his pant leg to keep some form of control.
Don't worry, son. I'll save you.
One morning, mere weeks after bringing their son home, she woke up to find the space beside her empty. The baby was gone from the crib as well. Unbothered, she made her way to the kitchen, expecting to see her fiancé and child at the table.
No one was there.
She froze, then quickly glanced at the counter. Their money jar was gone.
She ran to the window and looked out at the parking lot below their apartment. His spot was vacant. Frantic, she hurried back to their room and opened the drawer of his bureau. Empty. She opened the next. Bare. She opened all of them. Nothing. All of his belongings had been removed. All trace of him had vanished.
She fell to her knees. What was going on? Her lover…her child…both gone.
"Did…Did he leave me? Why? What have I done?!"
All she could do was hide her face in her hands and sob. He had no cell phone. She didn't know his parents' number, either. He was in between jobs, so there was no work number she could use to contact him with. She was helpless against the situation.
Her head throbbing, she finally found the strength to stand. With a fogged mind, her eyes absent-mindedly drifted to her vanity. There was a small envelope taped to the mirror. She wiped her eyes as she slowly walked over to it, then gently pulled the letter off.
With shaking hands, she opened it. Just as she was about to unfold the paper inside, she stopped and climbed onto the bed, sitting on her legs. Something told her that no good would come from standing.
She read the letter:
To My Dearest Aika,
You may have already noticed, but I've taken Yuntaku and left Osaka. The reason is simple: I won't allow your family to prevent my son from having a normal life. He deserves the best that we as parents can possibly offer. I know you know this. I know you also, without a doubt, want him to live happily and have all the advantages in the world. But as you showed me whilst being my student, you have such wonderful and kind-hearted ideas, but you have no idea how to enact or explain them. You're much too young to understand this sometimes ignorant society. Living with your family will not help him prosper. It will only hold him back. I'm sorry, I tried to make you reconsider the path you chose for him, yet you are convinced that yours is the best life our child can have. I know that he deserves better, and I know I can give it to him.
I'm taking him somewhere he and I can live out the life you and I had originally laid out for him. I will make sure he grows up to be a fine young man, one that you and I can be proud of. But this can't happen if you're here. It can't happen with your cultural influences surrounding him. Like you yourself said, "Being a shaman only brings me sorrow and heartache." Why would you wish this heartache on our only son? You may have since changed your mind, as it was a few years ago that you stated this, but why subject him to the hatred you experienced? If you love him, you will understand that this is the way things have to be.
You're young. You have your whole life ahead of you. You can find someone who shares your values and your culture. Once you feel you are ready, you will wed and be a mother again, the one I know you can be. Once you mature and experience the real world, the one that you desperately came here from your village to discover, I have no doubt that you can find true happiness.
Once he becomes of age, I will send him back to you. You will see him again, I promise. After he turns 18, I will tell him all about you and make him understand why I did this. I promise I will. Until then, please know that I am doing this for the good of our child.
I wish you all the best, Aika, and I can never thank you enough for this beautiful child.
Until we meet again, whenever that may be.
Her body trembled, the shock radiating through her. The only sentence that had been processed so far was the first line. That was all that meant anything to her.
Her son, her most precious treasure, was gone. Kidnapped by his own father. She had lost all she loved. Once again, she was being punished for her heritage.
She read the letter again and again, finally hugging it against her chest.
"I won't just give him to you," she said in a hoarse whisper. "I could never call myself a mother and just surrender my son whenever I'm told to. I won't move on like you want me to. I refuse.
"I'll find you, even if he changes your name. Even if he dyes your hair. Even if you go to China. Even if by all logic I should never be able to recognize you, I'll find you. If he hates my being a shaman so much, then I'll use that to find you. Once I do, I'll never let you go.
"I'll find you, Yuntaku, no matter what. I promise."