A/N: Hi gang...I got a whole lot of lion for you. I thought surely with my handy dandy outline and story calendar I'd be able to whip the chapters out for you in a jiffy. Turns out I'm a turtle writer…slow as hell, such a horrible affliction. I promise to try and overcome it. Edroar is eager to get to you, so I'll meet you guys at the bottom.
Happymess: Roses are red violets are blue, without my dear Boo, I don't know what I'd do.
*DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight…I'm just a girl that's SICK of snow.*
Yes, there are two paths you can go by but in the long run there's still time to change the road you're on.
-Led Zeppelin, Stairway to Heaven
There was a downfall to having a big, old, red truck.
It was slow as hell.
Not that I was in a rush, but come on. I was belting out Iron Man as I plotted revenge against an evil diva. Leisurely cruising down the highway just wouldn't do.
It took longer than I liked, but I finally rolled into the hospital parking lot. I gave myself a few minutes to cool off. That shoeless sabotager would get what was coming to him…all in good time. I never considered myself cruel, but that boy was begging for it.
I didn't know what it was yet, but he sure as hell would when the time was right. A wicked chuckle escaped my lips as I grabbed my purse and opened the truck door. It creaked loudly, alerting everyone in the vicinity to my arrival.
I made my way into the emergency room and told the front desk clerk I needed to speak with Dr. Cullen. The portly woman asked for my name as she picked up the phone. Minutes later I was being ushered to his office. I was told to take a seat and that the doctor would be with me shortly.
So I waited…and snooped around a bit.
There really wasn't much to work with though. No photos or mementos to be found anywhere. I even conducted a quick scan of the papers on his desk. It was all just medical crap. What the hell?
The door suddenly swung open, causing me to yelp like a wounded animal.
"Ms. Swan." His lifeless voice greeted me.
I waved at him for some moronic reason. I'm not even sure he noticed. He was looking straight ahead as he walked mechanically over to his desk.
I sat down, pulling my bag into my lap. "I'm sorry to disturb you, Dr. Cullen."
There was no response from him, though he was eying my purse quite carefully.
I swallowed hard. "I have a letter for you."
He watched as I opened my handbag and pulled out the crisp, white envelope with the Cullen Publishing logo on it.
I hesitated before handing it to him, looking directly into his eyes. I don't know why. Perhaps I was hoping to find some sign of life in them. But they were empty…so empty.
Slowly, I handed him the envelope. He seemed almost as apprehensive to take it as I was to give it to him. It was the oddest transaction.
"It's from Edward."
His first name felt strange on my lips. Somehow none of the other names the man had seemed appropriate to use when discussing him with his father. I suppose I was stating the obvious, really.
Who else would the letter be from? It was quiet a few moments, but as I stood to leave his vacant blue eyes landed on my face.
"Ms. Swan-"
"Bella," I corrected.
"Bella," he repeated stiffly. "I should thank you." His empty stare was chilling.
My body tightened as the guilt from his gratitude sliced through me like a knife. I could only imagine what was written in that letter. Whatever it was, I didn't feel worthy of a thank you for delivering it to him. I nodded my head in response and fled to the door.
"Was he angry with you?" His dry question reached my ears just as my hand gripped the doorknob.
I sighed heavily.
I promised Edroar I wouldn't divulge any information about him to his father. No, that wasn't quite true, I didn't promise him anything, he forbade me. Technically, I never agreed to his demand. But I couldn't betray him in that way. I just couldn't.
"I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen. I'm only here to deliver the letter." I still hadn't turned to look at him.
"Don't apologize. I'm aware of how…difficult my son can be." There was no emotion in his voice.
I slowly turned to face him. "Then I would keep that in mind when you read his letter."
His brow rose. "Oh, there's no need for me to read this." He raised the envelope in the air and tore it in two, letting the paper rain down on his desk.
I gasped. "How could you do that?" My eyes widened in disbelief.
Before the last scrap of paper landed on his desk I found myself marching over to him feeling more enflamed with each step I took.
It may not have been a love letter, okay it definitely wasn't a love letter, but still. How could he not even care what his son had written to him?
"Give Edward my best," he said, dismissively.
My finger was in his face in an instant. "I will not give Edward anything from you." I took a step back, looking him over suspiciously. "What kind of game are you playing?"
He stared up at me blankly. "I don't play games." His eyes were even hollower than before. "Now, if you'll excuse me I have patients to tend to."
I shook my head in disgust. "Yes, by all means. I wouldn't want to waste your time." I headed for the door. I swung it open. The pigeon was flying the coop.
"Bella," he called out.
I glanced over my shoulder.
He was silent for so long I almost turned away. "Watch over him. He's not as cold-hearted as he appears."
And for a fraction of a second I saw something sweep across his face. It was definitely an emotion of some sort. It looked so foreign on his features. What it was I didn't know…guilt, sadness, desperation, maybe a combination of them all.
It was a fleeting moment…very fleeting, but it happened. Then the moment ended and the robot was staring blankly at me once again. I didn't know what to make of it.
I was so angry that I spoke without thinking. "He's not the Cullen that appears cold-hearted to me." I said before slamming the door behind me.
I stormed out of the building like a mad woman, getting several odd looks from those in my path.
I couldn't sleep at all that night. Why I cared so much about that damn letter was beyond me. It felt like Edroar's father slapped me across the face when he tore it in two.
Why would I react like that?
My body tossed and turned in bed restlessly, hour after hour until the alarm went off. I slammed my hand down on the power button, grumbling a slew of obscenities as I did so. I lifted my weary head from the pillow and dragged myself out of bed, stumbling across the room nearly wiping out several times….on nothing.
I was no klutz.
Even when I was drunk off my ass my motor skills weren't nearly that bad. After banging my head against the bathroom door-frame I knew I was definitely going to need a pick me up and fast.
My feet shuffled into the kitchen with my hands cautiously leading the way. There was a fresh pot of coffee on the counter and it was calling my name. Angela was a caffeine junkie. I rarely drank the stuff but if I didn't get a serious boost there was no way I'd make it through the day.
So I drank two cups before getting into the shower.
That should have given me a kick start for sure, but I was still in a deep fog as I walked out to my truck. I couldn't stop yawning and was struggling to keep my eyes open. The coffee wasn't cutting it, which was really strange since I was sensitive to caffeine. It must have been decaf.
I hadn't even thought to ask Ange, though I'd never known her to drink decaffeinated coffee, especially in the morning. I couldn't show up to work a sleepless zombie, so I stopped at the store and bought a can of Red Bull.
Desperate times…desperate measures, I thought while popping the can open. I downed the drink as I drove to work, hoping it would do the trick. I glanced in my rear view mirror, blood shot eyes, hair straggly and damp. How lovely. I cringed when I realized I forgot to put my hair up.
Hell, I forgot to dry my hair. It was freezing outside. Even the cool fall air did nothing to wake me up.
I wobbled into work feeling like I was about to keel over at any moment. I wondered when the hell I developed such a high tolerance for caffeine. I made my way through the health club passing by Jessica's empty desk.
She was late as always. The funny part was each day her excuse was crazier than the last.
A reality show of that girl's life would be a hit for sure. She was a constant source of entertainment…without even trying.
I paused as I entered the doorway to the massage room. The sight of the soft, warm bed was so appealing. I wanted to crawl into it and sleep the day away. Sadly, that wasn't an option. I highly doubted Edroar allowed nap time at work….well except for his of course.
I padded across the room, the bright sunlight causing me to recoil. Damn it, why didn't I have sunglasses in my purse?
Oh, that's right, because I lived in Seattle, of all days for the sun to make an appearance. I went straight to work, prepping the room for the tyrant's arrival. I made sure to throw away the sheet the dastardly diva soiled with his fungus spray.
Seriously…who does that?
Though my movements were much slower than usual, I was impressed that I was functioning so well with no sleep at all. Or so I thought….
"Ms. Swan," a deep voice called to me from a distance.
"Huh?" I slurred in response.
Slowly, I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. Odd, I was slumped over on the small stool next to the supply cabinet. I blinked a few times as I attempted to figure out what was going on. There were legs directly in front of me. Steadily, my eyes made their way up the legs…up…up…up until I found the face that belonged to the legs.
"Sleeping on the job is highly unacceptable," The Lion said dryly. He didn't look happy.
I popped up so fast I nearly knocked him over in the process. "I wasn't sleeping."
"Really?" He quirked a disbelieving brow at me.
"Well…I didn't plan to fall asleep," I said, defensively.
"I see." His eyes scanned me from head to toe, a distasteful look on his face. "Did you plan that outfit you're wearing?"
"Excuse me?" I was stunned by his rude, fashion snobbery.
He didn't reply. He just turned and walked away. I narrowed my eyes at his retreating form. Just because designer labels weren't my thing didn't give him the right to mock my clothing. One of his ridiculously expensive designer suits was worth more than my entire wardrobe. What a disgusting display of wealth.
I bit my tongue though, deciding to choose my battles carefully. The man did just find me asleep on the job, after all. How the hell that happened after I loaded up on caffeine was a mystery to me. Not even glancing his way, I exited the room, and made my way down the hall to the reception desk.
"Hey Jess," I said as I rounded the corner.
"Hi Bella," her lips turned up at the corners, a wide grin spread across her face. "Of course." She giggle-snorted.
"Um…Of course...what?" I shot her a curious look.
Her bright, pink fingernail pointed at me. "Look," a pause. "I'm smiling," she announced through closed teeth, as though she deserved a medal for it.
"Oh, wow. Look at you. Yeah, that's great." I coughed back a laugh.
She was still giving me a big, cheesy grin that honestly was getting a bit creepy. The girl looked like a demented pink pumpkin.
"Alright, then. I'm going to head back to the massage room. I'll talk to you later." I waved before turning away.
"Peace out," she called after me.
I heard her loud cackling all the way down the hall. Man that was weird. Normally I understood Jessica's oddball personality but without sleep I was just lost. I paused a moment to check my watch.
Enough time had passed for me to return. Just as I was about to head up the stairs to the massage room I caught a glimpse of someone in the mirror that framed the elevator doors. I said a silent prayer it wasn't me. I moved in closer, my eyes widened in shock. Oh, I couldn't be serious?
But I was...it was me.
In my sleepless fog I threw on my Happy Hands uniform and when I say uniform...I mean psychedelic nightmare. Laurent, the owner of the spa, was a good friend of my grandmother's. He was a lifelong hippie, a great guy, but an awful business man.
My uniform was a pair of scrubs; tie dyed an obscene color combination, with a large iron-on smack in the middle of my chest. It was a cartoonish looking sunflower with a bright yellow smiley face at the center. Even better…the text that wrapped around the flower asked in big sparkly letters:
'Have you smiled today?'
It was corny as hell but it really did bring a smile to my client's faces. Laurent was a firm believer that starting a massage with a smiling client was essential to achieving Zen. The uniform somehow fit the vibe of Laurent's spa perfectly, so I never had a problem wearing it…there.
But at Cullen Publishing it was a whole different story.
At Cullen publishing I felt like the spawn of crazed hippie clowns. I had to rip myself away from the horror I saw in the mirror. Good Lord, no wonder Edroar commented on my outfit. No doubt he thought I was on drugs, finding me slumped over in the corner of the room in a hippie clown suit.
I shook my head in disgust as I trudged my way back to the massage room. It was official; I was my own worst enemy.
The tyrant was lying on the table, eyes closed, when I entered the room. I decided to explain my odd wardrobe choice to him right after his massage and hopefully avoid a mandatory mental health and drug assessment. I tried centering myself repeatedly but found it impossible. A sudden burst of energy had seized my entire being.
It felt like thousands of tiny balloons were popping inside me. Adrenaline rushes were erupting everywhere. My eyes were blinking rapidly. My heart was pounding uncontrollably. I was sweating profusely and I couldn't stop moving. I actually started jogging in place.
What. The. Hell.
How could I possibly center myself in that condition? I could hear my heavy breathing. I looked down at my hands, they were frantically shaking. Jesus, Mary and Joseph the caffeine had finally taken effect and it was coming on like a hurricane. I quickly raised my fingers up to my temples in a desperate attempt at self massage. But my movements were so jerky that I poked myself in the eye…hard.
"FUCK!" I yelled out in pain.
The Lion's eyes opened and he silently took in the situation before him.
"Is there a problem?" he asked coolly.
"I poked myself in the eye!" I exclaimed, squinting, my eye watering like a faucet. I was still jogging in place. I couldn't stop.
I heard him sigh. I was too busy rubbing my eyes to see what he was doing. Both of them were now tearing for some reason. Was I crying? No, I would never cry over such a thing. That would be absurd.
"Get your fingers away from your face," he scolded as he pulled my hands away. "Which eye is it?"
"The left one," my voice quivered like a frightened child. I wanted to choke myself to death, but I had no control over my damn hands.
Moments later a warm cloth covered my left eye. "Sit down," he commanded.
I sat down on the massage table. He was still holding the warm towel on my eye. It was starting to feel better. My legs were bouncing up and down and swinging back and forth over the side of the table as I wrung my hands together feverishly in my lap.
I was a complete mess. Edroar didn't speak a word, he just held the warm cloth on my eye as I twitched and spasmed on the massage table like a lunatic.
"I'm not a hippie clown," I blurted out of nowhere, breaking the silence.
"Of course you're not," he agreed, sounding serious. "Hippie clowns have much better fashion sense." I could see his snide smirk even with one eye open.
He was mocking me.
Instinctively, my hands flew to my hips. Well, they tried anyway. One made it...the other punched me in the gut. Hurt like a bitch. I grunted inwardly, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of laughing at my expense. As if he didn't already have enough reason to do so.
"I used to get paid to wear this uniform, I'll have you know." The stubborn little bitch in me was actually trying to defend my heinous attire.
"I find that hard to believe."
"Well, it's true." I huffed. "When I worked at Happy Hands this uniform always brought a smile to my client's faces."
"You worked at a place called Happy Hands?" He couldn't look more repulsed.
"I did."
My legs bounced around while my hands created freakish looking concoctions in my lap.
"Sit still," he ordered, impatiently.
"I can't." I sounded panicked.
Was this what Angela felt like on a daily basis? Why the hell would an anxious person like her even drink coffee? I made a mental note to ask her about that.
Edroar took a step away from me, removing the warm cloth from my eye. "Tell me why you're twitching like that."
I blinked rapidly as I realized I was about to sound like a complete idiot. "I drank two cups of black coffee and a can of Red Bull before work this morning."
He waited for me to continue.
"I…uh…got no sleep last night and was concerned it would affect my work today."
My voice came out in several different pitches. My breathing was so erratic that I was panting pretty hard by the end of my sentence and my god damn eyes were still watering.
"Did you really think you'd be able to meet my expectations in this condition?" He was getting angry. I could see the fire forming in his eyes.
"I didn't think-"
"Exactly." He cut me off harshly. "If you can't refrain from partying all night during the work week you're of no use to me."
I wiped my eyes with the backs of my hands as he spoke. I wasn't crying but the stupid tears were falling regardless.
"I wasn't partying all night," I retorted, angrily." If you give me a chance to explain I'll tell you why I couldn't sleep." My eyes were trying to shoot fire at him but I ended up winking three times instead.
"It makes no difference." His face began to redden. "Do you think I have time to listen to you complain about your sleep habits, Ms. Swan?"
My back straightened. "Well if you have time to accuse me of partying all night then I expect the time to defend myself, Mr. Cullen."
Our eyes locked, a single stream of fire connecting them. It was intense, to say the least. Maybe the caffeine was amplifying everything for me, but I honestly never felt anything so powerful before.
He took a step forward, lowering his face to mine. "What other excuse could there be for your behavior? I am not a fool I assure you."
I crossed my arms defiantly. "I beg to differ. Passing ill informed judgment on someone is quite foolish in my opinion."
He growled in response.
I smiled smugly. I was starting to gain control of myself. The adrenaline was still pouring through me like a river but instead of being overtaken by it, I felt empowered.
"Don't disrespect my authority," he seethed.
"Don't give me a reason to," I spat.
He raked his fingers through his hair. He was incensed. His nostrils flared and his eyes turned black as night.
"You do not have the power to make such demands." His tone was pure ice. "Do I make myself clear?"
I moved in closer to his face, the tips of our noses practically touching. "Then tell me, oh mighty leader, what do I have the power to do?"
It was silent for several long moments as we faced off, eye to eye, nose to nose, inhaling each other's breath…each other's fire. Without warning he pulled his face away from mine. I felt the abrupt absence in all of my senses. He walked over to the glass wall behind us and stood there looking out into the distance.
The white sheet hung low on his hips. His form was pure masculinity; there was nothing delicate about the man, though he moved with an undeniable grace. I wondered what vile, hateful thoughts of me were running through his mind. I contemplated giving him an apology, but he pushed me past my limits.
Was I to blame for that?
I argued with myself for quite some time before speaking. "I went to see your father yesterday."
His body stiffened.
I waited a few moments before I continued. "He…I..he" I began to struggle with my words.
He spun around so fast it took my breath away. Before I could blink he was at my side. "What…did…he…do?" He looked murderous.
I became a bit flustered by his reaction. "He made me angry," I answered honestly.
My filter was off. For some reason I was unable to lie to him, I didn't want to.
I looked directly into his turbulent eyes. "I delivered your letter and he…"
"He what?"
"He tore it in two." The image flashed through my mind, causing a bolt of fury to shoot through me. Why on earth it infuriated me like that I had no idea. It made no sense.
He chuckled bitterly. "Still the same spineless coward." It didn't appear to bother him one bit, making me feel even more ridiculous for my extreme reaction. He looked at me curiously. "What did he do to anger you?"
"He tore your letter. It was disrespectful." I tried my best to sound casual about it.
He savored my words a moment. "His disrespect towards me angered you, how ironic."
"Ironic?" My brow furrowed. I saw no irony to the situation at all, unless he knew about my relationship with my own father, but that was impossible.
"Yes." He nodded, his eyes trained on mine. "I find it quite ironic that on several occasions, including today, you've blatantly disrespected me."
I rolled my eyes. "That's completely different."
"Is it?" He smirked wickedly, amusement flickered in his eyes, exposing a lighter shade of green.
"Yes." I matched his smirk with some wickedness of my own. "There's a big difference between self defense and disrespect." He had to know that. "Do you allow false accusations to be made against you?" I folded my arms smugly as I awaited his answer.
His smirk became a hardened scowl. "There aren't enough hours in my day to rebuke the accusations made against me."His eyes ran over me thoroughly. "Perhaps if your boss hadn't found you asleep on the job, dressed inappropriately, twitching like a cokehead you'd have nothing to defend yourself against."
He was about to dismiss me, I could feel it...well either that or fire me. I was never really sure. I held up my hands in peace. I noticed they were no longer shaking. I thanked the lord for small miracles.
"Don't dismiss me." I took a deep breath. "Please," I added softly, as I released it. His eyes widened slightly. "I'm sorry if I was disrespectful to you." I was. "I just want a chance to explain myself. I don't think that's too much to ask."
He contemplated my request a few moments. "I'm listening." He motioned for me to speak.
"It's very simple." I paused. "It felt like your father smacked me across the face when he tore your letter."
He remained silent as I sat there stunned by my own words.
"Uh actually…I think I was more hurt about it than angry really. I usually turn my pain into anger before letting it go."
The more I spoke the more I wanted to gauge my eyes out...oh wait I already did that. Why the hell was I sharing personal information with him…of all people? I clamped my mouth shut before I could do any further damage.
He looked genuinely confused. "Are you telling me you couldn't sleep last night because you were angry that he tore my letter?"
"Yes…no. I'm not sure." I bit down on my bottom lip in frustration.
He smiled, almost warmly. It did amazing things to his face. "Well now, that does explain a lot."
Reflexively I smiled back at him. How unfathomable for us to be smiling at one another…not smirking, scowling or growling but smiling. Perhaps Laurent really did know what he was doing after all.
"Anyway," my lips just wouldn't stay shut for long. "I couldn't sleep last night and it had nothing to do with partying." I glared at him, but I was still smiling so I definitely looked deranged. I took a moment to wipe the grin off my face before I continued. "I guess in my haze I put on my old uniform. Then I tried waking myself up with caffeine. It could happen to anyone, really."
He shook his head. "Untrue." His fingers ran down the side of his face until they cupped his chin. "This could only happen to you. I can't imagine anyone else having a Happy Hands costume in their closet."
My jaw dropped. "It's not a costume. It's a uniform."
He looked me over disdainfully. "I was being polite by calling it a costume. Don't push it."
I laughed.
And then I laughed some more….and then I laughed even harder. Sweet mother of Jesus, I was having a laughter attack…right in front of Edroar. There was no stopping it though. And just when I'd finally convinced him I wasn't a mentally unstable drug addict.
Such a pity.
I was doubled over, laughing uncontrollably, hacking, gagging, snorting and giggling like the freak I was. My eyes were watering once again. I gasped for air. It felt like I'd been punched in the gut...oh right I was. It went on for hours or at least it seemed that way. I was afraid to look up. Once I finally got a hold of myself I slowly raised my head.
He hadn't moved an inch.
"I have a laughter control problem." My chest heaved as I sucked up a mouthful of air.
"I can see that." He looked perplexed by my behavior.
"It's how I react to tense situations. My emotions just have to come out somehow. I can't hold them in." I thought for a moment. "You should try it."
He made a sour face at my suggestion.
"Oh, come on. Have you ever tried laughing instead of roaring to release your emotions?"
"Roaring?"
"Yeah, you roar… like a lion. You're quite infamous for it, actually." I smirked.
"Am I?" He was flattered.
"Yes, and it's not a trait I would be proud of if I were you."
He glared at me menacingly. "I suppose laughing like a hyena would be more honorable."
I gagged at his cruelty. "Take that back!" I demanded. "I don't laugh like a hyena."
"You do," he insisted. "I bet you're infamous for it."
I narrowed my eyes at his smug expression. "Well at least I don't have a…" I chomped down so hard on my tongue I tasted blood.
Telling Edroar about the book written in his honor would surely be a grave mistake on my part. I was no fool.
He cocked his head to the side. "You don't have a what?"
"Um...I don't have a…lot of money." I sputtered off the top of my head. Well that certainly wasn't a lie.
He eyed me suspiciously. "Proud to be a worthless hyena, are you?"
My finger went in his face. "I am NOT worthless. Money has nothing to do with a person's true value." He was insane to think otherwise.
He grabbed my wrist tightly and yanked my hand away from his face. "It's rude to point, Ms. Swan. I won't warn you again." His eyes darkened, his tone was lethal.
He released my wrist and we entered a hostile stare off. Being around the man was like riding a roller-coaster. I never knew what to expect. That wasn't a problem for me though. I was the girl with her arms in the air; eyes wide open, begging for more when the ride was over.
I tried to imagine Edroar on a roller-coaster. I bet he hated them. He wouldn't be able to handle the loss of control. He'd dislike it for all the same reasons I loved it. We were complete opposites.
What I wouldn't give to see him on a roller-coaster, the button pusher in me snickered deviously. Knowing him, he'd roar at it to stop and it would.
Now where would be the fun in that? I just didn't understand why he always had to be in full control. Didn't he ever just want to let loose?
I glanced up at him from beneath my tear soaked lashes. "Have you ever been on a roller-coaster?"
He looked at me like I was insane. "I don't have time for chitchat." He glanced at the clock. "If you're not dressed appropriately and able to fulfill your job responsibilities when I return this afternoon, I assure you there will be consequences." The look in his eyes told me it was no idle threat.
The tyrant was back, oh joy. I couldn't argue with him though, he was merely asking me to do my job…not dressed like a hippie clown. I let out a small sigh and nodded my head before exiting the room. I'd need to go home on my lunch break to change my outfit.
The gang wouldn't be happy about me missing a team meeting, but with the criminal things I wanted to do to the barefooted bastard down the hall it was definitely for the best.
During Edroar's afternoon massage things went much smoother…until I asked him about Jake's book.
"Hardly amazing," was his response.
"You're just saying that." I scoffed in disbelief.
He picked up his Rolex off the counter and fastened it around his wrist as he spoke. "It's average at best, clearly written by an amateur and requires a substantial amount of editing." His nose lifted in the air.
"Well it moved me, amateur or not. I think it would move other people too." I must have been crazy to think it might move him.
"A child walking around unattended all day moves you?"
"Maybe it was a small town. I don't know. That's not even the point of the book." I grunted in frustration.
"No, the point of the book is the boy's mother died and no one told him about it. Was that what moved you, Ms. Swan?"
"What are you talking about? The father tells him when he gets home. Maybe the mother just died."
"There are an awful lot of maybes." He paused. "Maybe there shouldn't be."
"Maybe the reader wouldn't be as cynical as you." I moved closer to him.
"Maybe the reader doesn't own a publishing company." He stepped in even closer, his unique scent surrounded me.
"Fine, just give me the book back and I'll tell Jake you weren't interested."
"I didn't say that."
"What?"
"I never said I wasn't interested. I merely said the book is hardly amazing in its current form."
"So you'll meet with him?" A smile broke out across my face.
"Yes."
"You'll be nice to him? No roaring?"
"Why would you ever assume otherwise?" He smirked devilishly at me.
I felt the oddest sensation, in the strangest of places. Had to be the caffeine, I quickly rationalized.
The rest of the week dragged by, until finally Friday morning arrived. In just two days I'd be in New York. Angela found it hysterical that I was packed and ready to go for nearly a week.
Jazz was still moping about it, but he was coming around. We were going out to celebrate my birthday the following night so that would surely lift his spirits. My cell phone rang before I even got to work. It was Alice. She wanted me to come up to her office after Mr. Cullen's morning massage to sign some paperwork for travel expenses.
Edroar seemed extra tense the last few days. I didn't think that was even possible, but it was. I wondered why. I wanted to ask him but knew he'd just tell me to mind my business.
Oddly enough I did.
Right after his morning massage I straightened up the massage room. Then I went to see Alice. I noticed she looked a bit flustered when I got there.
"Is everything alright?"
"Oh, yes. I'm fine. Just glad it's Friday." Her shoulders were slumped down low.
"That bad of a week?"
"You have no idea." Just as she finished her sentence the intercom on her desk buzzed causing her to flinch.
"Get in here." The Lion growled.
She gulped before standing. "Wait here. I'll be right back…I hope." She said before making her way past me.
Poor girl.
I bet she was more than a little happy the Tyrant was going away. Just my luck he was in such a nasty mood for the trip. I wasn't worried though. I wouldn't be spending much of my time with him.
Just as I began to innocently snoop around Alice's desk I heard footsteps headed my way.
"Hey, Bella," Jake said and then turned to look behind him. "Come on!"He whisper- shouted into the empty air.
A burst of energy rounded the corner.
"Dad, this place is awesome. I told you to wear a suit." The little boy shook his head at his father, disapprovingly.
Jake glanced down at his tan colored khakis and black dress shirt. "I don't even know if my suit still fits. Do I look that bad?"
His son gave him a hesitant once over. "No, you look alright, but you really need to buy a few suits."
Jake laughed. "I'm a bartender, Alex. The only time I wear a suit is for weddings and funerals." He ruffled his son's shiny, black hair.
"Dad, please." The boy scowled up at his father while fixing his hair.
Jake turned his head in my direction. "Bella, I believe you know my agent, Alex." He wiggled his brow playfully.
"Hi, Alex." I dropped down to his level. "You've gotten so big."
"I'm not big for my age." He said with slight frown. "Six of my classmates are taller than me."
"Oh," I smiled at his very serious face. "Well, I bet you're the smartest in the class though."
"I won the Sammy Star award." He said matter-of-factly.
"Wow!" I exclaimed. "That sounds like a pretty big deal."
He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess. In kindergarten coloring is a big deal. First grade is much harder."
"I'm sure it won't be hard for you." I paused. "Don't you have school today?"
"He was supposed to. I got a call on my way here. His school had a water main break and had to close for the day." Jake answered looking more than a little frustrated.
"Oh, I see. Do you want me to keep him company during your meeting?"
"I don't want to impose."
"It's no problem at all." I insisted.
Our conversation was suddenly interrupted by the booming voice of the tyrant.
"Unacceptable," he growled.
Alice was fluttering behind him looking panicked. "I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen. I didn't realize you needed the paperwork before noon."
Edroar stalked towards us down the hall, full on lion.
I looked over at Jake, instinctively he moved closer to his son who was looking up at the tyrant in awe.
"Give me the file," he demanded harshly.
Alice darted over to her filing cabinet. A few moments later she handed him a large manila folder.
He opened it, quickly scanned its contents and slammed it down on her desk causing her to jump in place.
"Do not leave your desk until this is amended to my standards." His voice was dark and threatening. "Am I clear?"
"Yes, Mr. Cullen," Alice nodded her head as she scurried to sit at her desk.
He shot her an angry glare before turning his attention on us. I decided to ignore his ridiculous outburst and introduce him to Jake.
"Mr. Cullen. This is Jacob Black. The author of the book I gave you last week."
He looked Jake over. His snobby expression made it clear he wasn't impressed with what he saw.
Then his eyes dropped down to Alex who was gazing up at him as though he were at Disneyland standing before Mickey Mouse.
"And you are?"
A small hand rose up in the air. "I'm Alexander Black. This building is very nice. Do you own it? "
The lion shook his hand. "I do."
Alex looked around inquisitively. "Who designed it?"
"I did."
Big brown eyes opened wide as he nodded his head in approval. "When I grow up I'm going to design my own building too. I already started working on the plans for it."
Jake patted his son on the back. "He really did. It's actually very well thought out."
"What kind of business are you going to operate?" Edroar asked Alex, completely ignoring Jake.
"Well," he let out a heavy sigh. "My grandfather said he needs me to help him with his casino when I grow up, but I want to be an architect."
"Then you should be an architect. Don't let someone else make that decision for you."
"Are you an architect?"
"No, I publish books."
"Oh." He drew his brow in tight. "Why didn't you get an architect to design your building then?"
Edroar's nose lifted up high. "The firms I scouted were grossly incompetent. I had to do it myself."
"You did a good job." Alex said honestly.
"Thank you." he seemed almost humbled by the little boy's praise.
"Maybe I can show you the plans I have for my building?" His face was filled with hope.
The tyrant looked down at the child expressionlessly. And then the oddest thing occurred. He reached into his pocket and took out a business card. He held it out to Alex.
"Finalize your blueprint and when you're ready call my office to schedule an appointment." As Alex reached up for the card Edroar pulled it back slightly. "Don't call until you're sure it's ready," he warned.
Alex nodded his head eagerly as Edroar handed him the card. I looked over to Alice, she looked as though she was about to fall off her chair.
"Alright, kiddo. Why don't you go with Bella for a little while? I'll come get you when my meeting is over." Jake looked to me for confirmation.
I nodded my head. "Come on, Mr. Cool. I'll show you around."
"Mr. Cool?" Alex giggled. It was the cutest sound.
I took him for a brief tour of the building; his bright eyes soaked it all up like a sponge. Of course all the ladies swarmed around him, Ooh-ing and ahh-ing. He didn't seem to like the attention so I quickly ushered him away.
"Do you write books?" He asked as we entered the elevator.
"No, I'm a massage therapist." I told him. Once the doors slid shut I pressed the button for the health club.
Very carefully he placed the lion's business card in his pocket and then looked up at me. "What's that?"
"Well, do you know what a massage is?"
His face scrunched up as he thought about it. "My dad rubs my back sometimes when I get upset. Is that a massage?"
"Yep," I smiled. "That's what I do." I wasn't about to get into specifics with him.
"Oh." He was quiet a moment. "You give all these people massages?"
"No," I laughed. "Only Mr. Cullen. I'm his personal massage therapist."
I watched as my words sank in. "Is my dad my personal massage therapist? He only gives me massages."
"Yeah, I guess you could say that." Judging by the look on his face he seemed to like that answer.
We exited the elevator and made our way down the hall.
"Oh my GAWD!" Jessica's nasally voice screeched from behind us.
Alex's body huddled up against the side of my leg. Before I could say a word Jessica was on her knees in front of him.
"I AM GOING TO EAT YOU!" She squealed in his horrified face.
"Uh…Jess? You're scaring him."
Her mouth formed a wide O and then she poked him in the belly. His arms wrapped around my leg in a death grip.
"Where have you been hiding? Your mommy never told me about you."
"You knew my mom?" His interest was suddenly peaked.
"Of course, silly," she cackled loudly causing me to cringe. Alex let go of my legs to cover his ears.
"He's not my son," I said to her as I picked him up.
I was never very good with children, but oddly enough Alex seemed to like me. Jessica was harmless but she was freaking him out. Hell, she was freaking me out and I was an adult.
"Bella's not your Mommy?" She started talking in a strange Elmer Fudd voice. It was so creepy.
He shook his head. "My mom's dead."
Jessica gasped dramatically. "No! Don't ever say that." She shook her head vigorously. "She's not dead." She reverted back to her naturally nasal tone.
"Yes she is," Alex disagreed persistently. "She's buried in the ground." He was getting agitated so I rubbed his back a little and widened my eyes at Jessica telling her to shut the hell up.
"Nope, souls don't die. She's just in a new body," she said confidently.
"My mom's inside someone else's body?" His eyes grew wide.
I started calculating how much money I'd owe Jake for the therapy sessions his son would need after meeting Jessica.
"Yes." Her face grew very serious. "It's called rebirth. She could be a human, animal or even an insect. You just never know." She looked around mysteriously.
"Jess, I don't think Alex's father shares the same religious belief as you, so I think we should end this conversation. Now," I said sternly.
"End what conversation?" Emmett was standing to my left with a boyish grin on his face. "Well, hello there, little dude." He waved.
"Hello," Alex said shyly.
Seconds later Rose appeared by his side. "Oh, Bella he is adorable. Is he your nephew?"
"No, this is Alex, he's my friend Jake's son. His dad is in a meeting with Mr. Cullen."
All three of them gasped loudly. It still boggled my mind how feared the man was. I mean yes, he was an angry tyrant and all, but my god, you'd think he was pure evil the way they acted.
"Oh, stop being so dramatic," I said. "He's not that bad."
Their jaws dropped in unison. "Maybe not to you." Emmett smirked. "But those of us that have been roared at beg to differ."
"Please, he's roared at me plenty." I rolled my eyes, "It doesn't scare me at all."
"I like Mr. Cullen," Alex agreed with me. "He's gonna help me with my building."
"You have a building?" Jessica clapped her hands vigorously, her bracelets clanging together noisily.
"I will when I grow up," Alex spoke so confidently; there was a hint of arrogance to his tone.
"Oh, my my… is it bring your spawn to work day? I didn't get the memo." My nemesis strutted down the hall.
"No, he's not Bella's son." Jessica explained. "His mother is in samsara."
"Well, who isn't?" Mike's hips swiveled as his hands landed on them.
"True," Jess said. "But his mother-"
"Enough," I spat out at them in annoyance.
Jessica looked as though she were about to burst into tears. Mike threw me a nasty glance. He and I had yet to have it out.
It was way past due, but I didn't want to rip him a new one with an adorable five year old latched onto my hip. So I refrained….for now.
"I have an idea." Rose announced excitedly. "Let's have a funny face contest."
"YAY!" Jessica squealed.
"A what?" I asked.
"Funny face contest!" Jessica screamed. "It's the most fun in the world."
"Wow. In the world?" I laughed. "Who could say no to that? How does it work?"
"The rules are very simple." Rose began. "We get into pairs. We all count down from ten and shout funny face."
"FUNNY FACE!" Jessica shouted while jumping in place and clapping in excitement.
"Not yet Jess, but good Job." Jessica beamed. Rose turned back to me. "So, after we announce it you make your funniest faces at your partner. The goal is to get your partner to laugh. You can't look away." She looked at each of us. "Is everyone in?"
"YES!" Jessica, Mike and Emmett yelled in unison.
"Are we in, Alex?" I asked.
"YES!" He yelled directly in my ear.
"Ouch!" I yelped, rubbing my ear, which caused him to giggle.
"Sorry, Bella," he said sweetly.
How had I never noticed what an amazing sound children's laughter was? I could listen to it all day. And so it was on. Rose put our names in a bowl to determine our first partner.
Jessica, Mike and I were the winners of round one. Jess chose Mike as her round two opponent. I'd battle the winner in the final.
What ensued next was a you just had to be there moment.
It was the freakiest thing I'd ever seen in my life. Rose advised us in a stern voice to hold back our laughter as Mike and Jessica faced off.
There was chanting and moo'ing, tongues twisting, eyes bulging and lips contorting in unnatural positions. The sounds Jessica was making were downright painful.
It was clear they each took the contest very seriously.
Alex covered his mouth with both hands to muffle his giggles. To her credit Jessica held her own. She closed her lips tightly and with wide, bulging eyes began singing in a little girl voice. Even though her lips weren't moving the words were crystal clear.
She really was a ventriloquist. Who would have thought?
The tiny voice deep inside her was belting out Baby Got Back. That did it for me. I quickly ran down the hall to let out a fit of laughter. By the time I returned Mike was gloating and slamming high fives with everyone around him.
Good Lord, could he be more pathetic?
His eyes landed on mine and his prissy little finger beckoned me to him. I chuckled at the serious expression on his face.
"That's right, Yoko, laugh it up. That's what you'll be doing...in Loserville." He taunted, his neck zipping back and forth.
I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. "Bring it, Yoga Boy."
"Alright guys, this is the final round." Rose announced as she placed a hand on each of our shoulders. "We'll count you down. Are you ready?"
I nodded my head. It felt like I was in the Olympics….if there was a freak version.
Mike swiped his hand in front of my face. "Prepare to laugh."
The gang counted us down in unison. "10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…FUNNY FACE!"
The battle was on. If Mike thought he was going to make me laugh he was sorely mistaken. His body was contorting into all sorts of strange positions.
Both feet were twisted behind his head giving me a view of his spandex covered ass that literally made me gag. His tongue was touching his nose, eyes open wide and he was yodeling.
I dropped down into a frog position and began hopping up and down on my hands and feet. I let my tongue hang down low as I burped out the melody for Stairway to Heaven. The amount of hours I spent learning to do that was more than a little embarrassing.
I knew it would come in handy one day.
Just as I was getting to my favorite part of the song a familiar laugh broke out behind me. I went to turn my head and ended up falling over. I was all tangled up in myself and grunting in frustration.
A hand reached out to help me up. "Bella, what in the world are you doing?"
It was Jake. Alice was standing next to him, pouting.
"Time out!" Rose yelled.
With perfect coordination Mike untangled himself and stood. "No such thing. I win."
"What!" I shouted. "No way, I didn't laugh."
"You turned away and forfeited yourself from the competition." His fingers formed an L sign in my face.
"Oh, whatever," I huffed.
I was in the process of flipping him off when at the last second I remembered the five year old boy standing next to me. So I ended up giving him the peace sign instead…which was so not what I wanted.
Mikes eyes darted over to Jake. He looked him up and down thoroughly eye fucking the hell out of him.
"Well, hellooooooo there, lover boy," he cooed, batting his lashes provocatively, his hand was outstretched effeminately.
Jake swallowed deeply and went in for a traditional hand shake, but Mike had other plans. He quickly took it as an opportunity to caress Jake's fingers, giving him what looked to be a hand job…on his hand.
It was obscene.
Jake pulled his hand away and wiped it on his pants. He cleared his throat nervously.
"Daaaad you messed up the game." Alex flailed his arms.
"What game is that?" Jake asked trying to avoid Mike's penetrating stare.
"Funny Face," Alice said. "And I can't believe you guys played without me." She was still pouting.
"Wait…do you seriously play this game when there aren't kids around?" I don't know why I even bothered to ask. Of course they did.
They looked baffled.
"Yeah, why wouldn't we?" Emmett was totally perplexed.
"Never mind." I shook my head then looked at Jake "How did the meeting go?"
He fidgeted with his hair a bit. "Uh, well before or after he gave me the page by page play of my inferiority as a writer?"
I punched his shoulder. "Can't say I didn't warn you."
Jake smiled widely. "Yeah," he shrugged. "I never knew there were so many ways to say 'you suck.'"
"Au contraire, future lover…not just ways to say it," Mike licked his lips eagerly while staring Jake down.
"So how did the meeting end?" I asked, after throwing Mike a few eye darts.
"He offered to work with me. He assigned me an editor and if the final copy meets his approval my book will be published."
"YAY!" Jessica shouted.
"That's great news. We have to celebrate!" I said excitedly.
Jake shook his head. "Not yet. Let's wait and see if it gets published before we celebrate anything," he laughed. "But we'll definitely be celebrating your birthday tomorrow night. I'm looking forward to that."
"WHAT!" the gang shouted in unison….even Mike.
"Bella, why didn't you tell us?" Rose looked hurt.
"I'll make the cake." Jessica screeched.
Emmett took out his Blackberry. "Where are we meeting and what time?"
I massaged my temples. "Guys, really. It's not necessary."
"Of course it is, silly. We always celebrate our birthdays together and we even have a special birthday-"
"Shhhh…Jesus Jess!" Emmett yelled at her. "It's a surprise."
Her eyes widened. "Oh right. Fun!" she clapped her hands.
"I can't wait to celebrate the fact that you're another year older," Mike said with an evil smirk on his face. He coughed out the word spinster.
"I don't recall inviting you?" I spat at him.
"Burpella please...without me there is no party." He puckered his lips and blew me an obnoxious kiss.
"Can I come, Dad?" Alex tugged on his father's sleeve."
"I don't think so kiddo. It's for adults, but I'll help you make a present for Bella tonight. Alright?" Jake knelt down and put his arm around Alex's shoulders.
"Aw, man." Alex frowned.
"Tell you what." Alice popped in the center of the group. "I'll have everyone over my place for dinner tomorrow night. We'll have cake and then Jake can bring Alex home before we hit the bar scene. Sound good?"
Everyone quickly agreed. Alex's face lit up like a Christmas tree.
I shook my head. "Alice, that's way too much for you to do. Plus, I have Jasper and Angela to include in my plans."
"Bella, stop it. They're invited too, of course. I come from a big family. I know how to cook for a large group. It will be my present to you. I won't take no for an answer. I'll email you the time and address." Before I knew it she was hugging me.
I sighed in defeat but no one heard it; they were too busy chattering with one another. Alex ran over to Alice and asked if Mr. Cullen could come to dinner, her expression was priceless.
I watched as Mike moved in closer to Jake.
God help him…and God help me.
A/N: Next up Bella's birthday dinner and her first plane ride. New York here they come! Wonder why that Tyrant is so tense lately? Should Bella try loosening him up while they're away?
HUGE LOVE to Cranberry Jello for starting a Twilighted thread for Edroar and the gang. They can't wait to cause some madness and mayhem over there so please come play. (Link on profile)
Fun Fact According to my good friend Google: Samsara is the cycle of life, death, and rebirth/reincarnation within Buddhism, Hinduism and other Indian religions. If you have the full scoop please do tell. I find it fascinating.
That's all for now folks. Let me know what you think….it's my birthday wish. I'm 141 this month...give or take a century.