Drei
A horrified kind of silence forms between them.
Yukio will never know with exactitude the events that transpire that Friday.
The night before, Rin started seeing demons, dad explained him about the seal and Rin had told Uchida something; she stayed the night because it was late and dad spoke with her, but Yukio isn't sure about what.
The morning is tense, dad had told Rin about exorcists, but not about the Order or Yukio's involvement; Rin doesn't talk to him and Yukio doesn't know what he is thinking, because he is uncharacteristically serious. After breakfast, Rin and Uchida slip out somewhere and Yukio goes to work.
The days goes by normally, busy but kind of boring until the evening, when dad calls him directly on his cellphone to attend a possibly high-level demon attack near to Rin's job. Countless possibilities pass through his mind as he approaches the place alone, as per the instructions to only request reinforcements if he considered the situation could get out of hand.
(That's about the moment he begins to question his father decisions.)
He doesn't even arrive to the site. On his way he finds Uchida, when she drops next to him from somewhere high and almost gets herself shot, then, ignoring the gun, she begins to drag him in the opposite direction in a dead run he struggles to keep up.
Somehow, while running, she manages to explain him that the demon had been waiting for Rin and was possessing some guy they had had problems before. She had called to the church to warn his dad about the demon and to don't let Rin go to work. But then the demon had figured out Rin wasn't going to appear and decided to go after him. Uchida had tried to stop him (Yukio doesn't know how she thought she was going to do that), but the humans that where following the demon had tried to stop her in turn, first directly, and then by threatening the club.
"Rin-kun was already on his way when I called", she explains, worried. "We must hurry. I will carry you if I have to, but we must hurry".
She doesn't have to carry him, because in a nearby alley they find the unconscious host.
"Dad must have found him", he tries to reassure her. "They should be back home".
Uchida isn't convinced and insists on hurrying anyways, but Yukio quite literally drags his heels and they don't continue at such neck-breaking speeds like before.
Yukio doesn't know if they could have made a difference, but can't help but regret that he didn't listen to her.
When they arrived, dad was dead and Rin a demon.
Δ
Uchida doesn't leave Rin side. Good, because now it is Yukio's job to watch over his brother and he can't bear to do so, and he stands aside and lets her hover as close as possible while the paramedics work. He talks with the Order while she coaxes Rin him to clean and change. He immerses himself on funerary arrangements while she shoves food at Rin's hands and makes him eat. He evades her when she tries to do the same to Yukio.
At the wake, Rin and Uchida huddle on chairs close to the casket, holding hands over the sword Rin now can't separate from. There are not many people at the wake, just them, the monks and some members of the congregation, no one from the Order. They pray every once and again during the night, and Yukio is a bit surprised that Uchida knows the Rosary prayers and Mysteries.
And it hits Yukio that neither he or his brother had done so for a while. When was the last time he had confessed? Gone to Mass? Dad had never pressured them to, but Rin had keep doing it for longer that Yukio, as he was, ironically, the most devout twin.
But Yukio didn't have that much sins to confess, other that the envy he had for his brother, and the resentment he sometimes felt and it's now almost overwhelming, but those weren't things he wanted to tell dad. He doesn't know how he feels now that he never will be able to tell.
He doesn't know anything at all.
Δ
Yukio has been avoiding him, how could he not? Shizuka insist they can work it, but first Rin and Yukio have to talk. "The longer it goes, the harder it will be, and the uglier it will get", she had said, and when she went home to shower and change for the funeral, she got Yukio to sit with Rin, giving him the perfect chance.
"Yukio," he begins and it looks like his brother isn't listening, but he plunges ahead anyways. "You know what happened that night, don't you? How, how dad died. You… also knew he was an exorcist, right?"
At first Yukio keeps staring right ahead, watching, immobile and silent, at the casket, but in the end he sighs and adjust his glasses.
"Yes, I know," he answers and turns to look at Rin with cold, detached, contempt, and Rin can only listen to him, frozen at the spot. "He was the strongest exorcist, the only man capable of sustaining possession by Satan and he fought it out for 15 years." Yukio stands, stepping between Rin and the casket, gesturing sharply at dad's body. "You said something to him that night, something that weakened his willpower; you were his only weakness and you killed him, Nii-san. And now you are no more than a demon; turn yourself to the exorcist or please just die before you kill someone else".
They stare at each other, a horrified kind of silence forms between them. Rin's hand clenches around the sword on his lap, his tail lashing behind him (he can feel it hit the backrest of his chair, but he is ignoring it, he has been ignoring it since he first noticed it on his body. Shizuka had looked again at him with her red eyes and declared he still looks the same Rin-kun, he's been clinging to that ever since).
"What good will that do?" he asks, pissed off. "The old man died protecting me. He said he kept me safe all those years. I- I want to be strong like him and protect others; I will become an exorcist too".
"How?", asks Yukio.
"Shizu told me that True Cross has kind of a cram-school for exorcist- that's the reason she wanted to go there in the first place, and we think you are going to attend those classes too… and it is too late for me to try to get into True Cross, but, it can't be the only place I can learn, isn't it?"
Yukio turns around and walks to the casket, Rin stands up and follows him. Neither had said good-bye yet, it feels appropriate to do it together, that's what dad should have liked, Rin thinks. Dad looks— good, not asleep like he had heard on TV, but good, clean and calm, like himself except for how they arranged his hair and the lack of glasses. It's good. If this is the last time he'll get to see dad, it's good.
"You'll have to talk with our new guardian", says Yukio after a while and, at first, Rin is confused about the— there's a word for it, uh, non-sequitur.
"What?" he asks. And yes, he had forgotten about guardianship, or he had assumed they would stay wards of the monastery.
"If you want to be an exorcist you'll have to talk with our new guardian. He may not let you."
"Do you know who he is?" Distaste crosses Yukio's face. "Do you know him?"
"Yes, he'll show for the ceremony."
Δ
As they are on Lent and it is a Sunday, they can't have a funeral Mass, but burials are nor expressly forbidden, so there is a service.
Once everything is done, people begin to retreat inside. Yukio looks back but eventually goes and Rin sends Shizuka with him, and Rin is left alone over the grave. Their new guardian didn't show himself, but Rin doesn't care. He has in his pocket the phone dad had given him the morning he started to see demons, along with the key that hid the sword and orders to take it and run if necessary, to never unsheathe it.
He didn't imagine he would need to disobey dad so soon. That same night dad told him to go and that was it, all the horrible things Rin had been fearing were true, so, smarting from the blow, he had told dad other terrible, unfair, thing.
He would do better now, for dad.
He takes the phone and calls the single number stored in it. A ringtone chimes behind him.
Δ
Another person tells him to die, he doesn't care. He will be an exorcist, for dad and for himself, and that's all that matters.
He really hates his new guardian, though.
Notes
- Now you see why I had to stop writing, but it ended up being cathartic and stuff when I finished this chapter
- I can't say I'm Catholic just because I'm not baptised but I was raised in a very Catholic way, even if I missed some parts of it growing up (thankfully). But I have Questions about Catholicism in the AnE universe, I have Opinions about Catholicism in the AnE universe, so I'm fleshing it up with my own Mexican Catholicism Experience (tm) (and from people I know, too)
- The school year in Japan starts on early April, so they are on Lent. I asked lots of people what happens if your relative dies on Lent and nobody actually knew, the internet says that apparently it's only a problem if they die on a Saturday, because normally you should bury them on Sunday (Shiro died on a Friday, but the body wasn't released from an autopsy until Saturday) and you can't hold a funeral Mass on Sundays during Advent or Lent (nor Easter Sunday, Holy Saturday, Good Friday, Holy Thursday). You can hold a Liturgy and the rites, but finding a priest may be difficult because they will be busy, so it's recommended to wait until Monday. In this case, Shiro is an Abbot, so I suppose he can get a priest for his funeral no matter the day.
- Also, why I put so much emphasis on the days of the week? There's this headcanon/theory on tumblr that the start of the AnE manga takes place on 2011 and the chapters after the twin's birthday take place on 2012, and it makes lot's of sense to me. And well, on 2011 April 1st is a Friday, this works ok for me because: a) in the manga it looks like the twins start school immediately the day after Shiro's funeral, so then they can start classes on a Monday, b) it was too heavy handed and more blasphemous than I'm comfortable to actually kill Shiro on Good Friday (and it didn't work with the timeline), the next best thing was to kill him on a regular (Lent) Friday
- If something is not written, you may assume it happened as in canon until written otherwise.