Previously:
New Byzantium, Milky Way Galaxy, January 2119
Mary's heartbeat seemed to have stopped. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think and couldn't move. Her mind was reeling, the only coherent thought the memory of that voice – his voice – echoing through the hangar.
'This is Captain Matthew Crawley'
The New Byzantium soldiers swarmed their position under the watchful eye of the fighter drones. She was helped to her feet and her bonds were easily cut open. Her immediate concern was for Anna and Alex, and she smiled in relief when she saw they were on their feet and all right. The three of them were ushered towards a waiting vehicle and driven quickly from the hangar. She knew from her study of policies and procedures in these situations that they would be taken back to the city first. Hopefully, Edith would arrange for their debriefing and medical examinations to take place on the ship. If not, Mary would insist upon it, but that seemed a ways away. She looked up and noticed that the fighter drones were escorting the vehicle from above. A careful smile crossed her lips. She had no idea how it was possible, but he was up there, alive. He had come for her.
"Are you all right?" Anna asked, looking over at her anxiously.
Mary turned her head and nodded towards her best friend. "I will be. You?"
"A few scrapes, nothing significant," Anna answered. "I heard correctly, right? That was Matthew who found us?"
Mary took a deep breath, her smile widening a little. "It seems that it was."
Chapter 5:
New Byzantium, Milky Way Galaxy, January 2119
"And look up. And blink. To your left. Blink. Look down. Blink. Good."
Matthew huffed in exasperation as Sybil leaned closer to him, shining the bright light into his eye and glancing over at the display next to them.
"Are we almost done?" he grumbled, keeping his gaze locked in the direction she indicated.
"I'm sorry, Captain. You've only been frozen for eight months. I'm afraid that it takes a few minutes to ensure everything is working properly," she retorted.
"I'm fine," he grunted. "I just would like to go back to my quarters."
"I suppose you should," she agreed, turning the light off and standing back up. "You'll need to get used to your new surroundings."
He frowned. "What new surroundings?"
"Well, since you were in stasis, we felt it would be more efficient to move your things to a smaller room and reassign your quarters to someone who was actually carrying out actual work duties," she explained.
He stared at her dumbfounded. "Mary took my suite?"
"Oh no, she didn't even think of doing such a thing," she shook her head.
"Oh," he muttered.
"I took it," she stated lightly.
He blinked. "You?"
"Yes," she nodded, going over to the table and pretending to fiddle with her instruments. "Tom and I felt we could use the extra space. Was there always a problem with the water flow in the shower? It always seems a bit weak for some reason."
He stared at her incredulously before the slight curl of her lips betrayed her.
"You conniving, scheming, little…" he growled, rising from his chair.
"Now, now, Matthew," she grinned, backing away from him. "I've ordered that you remain at rest during your recovery."
He caught her easily and tickled her sides. She laughed hysterically, shrieking as he picked her up off the floor.
"Put me down!" she cackled. "I can have you confined to bedrest, you know!"
He released her and gave her a playful shove. "All right, Dr Crawley, may I be permitted to leave and go back to the Captain's quarters?"
She kept laughing, going over to the console on the wall. "Your vitals are all normal. You'll need to exercise to get your flexibility and some muscle tone back. You shouldn't have gone out with Falcon Squadron. You've got inflammation in your joints and a light strain along your back."
He sighed and shook his head. "What was I supposed to do? My crew were in danger, Sybil."
"Well, you can accept your crew's gratitude shortly. They're coming here first before they go to debriefing," she informed him.
He scratched the back of his head. "That's fine. They've been through a lot. I'll just see them all later."
She looked over at him in confusion. Rolling her eyes, she came over and gave him a pointed stare.
"Darling, I know that you've just come back to us and that you need time to come to terms with all of it, but you're going to have to see Mary at some point. You have a great deal to talk about," she noted.
He scoffed. "Of course, I'm going to see her. I'm eager to see everyone."
She arched her eyebrow at him suspiciously. "All right. Well, you can go back to yours, but I don't want you to overexert yourself. Just ease back into everything, and I would much prefer if you left the command of the ship to Mary, rather, at least for these first few days."
He cringed. "I'll consider it. Thanks, Sybil, honestly."
"You're welcome," she smiled, trading cheek kisses with him. "I suppose this makes us even."
"Hardly," he laughed. "Are you forgetting the riot you incited during the by-election on Kintar 3?"
"That doesn't count! I was just there to observe!" she protested. Watching him go, she took a deep breath before turning back to her computer.
"Alex," Anna moaned, rocking back and forth atop him. "I love you. I love you so much."
His hands slid down her back and cupped her arse, steadying her as she worked her hips, taking him all the way with every thrust. She reached up and undid the ties binding her hair, her blonde tresses falling down over her shoulders. Her hands framed his face and she kissed him, whimpering into his mouth.
"I'm here, love," he whispered, searing her neck with a sweep of his tongue. "I'm right here."
She arched her back and allowed him the full length of her throat. Her fingers wound through his hair, cradling him as he kissed his way down to her bare breasts. Her eyes clamped shut the moment his lips closed around her sensitive flesh, her voice keening in pleasure.
"Alex," she sobbed, tears falling down her cheeks as he thrust up into her, almost lifting them off the bed. Her legs wound across his back, keeping herself splayed and open to him, taking all of him with every desperate lunge.
With a growl he raised up and leaned forward, putting her on her back and following on top of her. With the added leverage, he took her hard, nipping at her neck while his hips rocked relentlessly. Her release came quickly and she shouted, her voice echoing through their quarters. He kissed her face over and over, keeping up his pace, the sounds of their coupling filling the bedroom.
"I'm yours, all yours," she gasped into his ear, clinging to his shoulders and holding him tight to her. His chest pressed deliciously to her breasts, prolonging her bliss with delightful shocks as they moved in rhythm. "Anything you want. I'll do it. I'll do it for you. God, fuck me, Alex!"
He snarled as her voice made him delirious. He put all of his strength into the last frantic thrusts, pounding into her far more forcefully than he intended. She moaned through it all, taking all he gave and begging for more. Her lips and tongue marked his face, her sultry words finally setting him off.
"Fill me. Put your baby in me," she purred.
"Anna!" he groaned, pressing down upon her and pouring out all that he had.
"I know you can go again," Anna teased, licking his fingers and sliding herself against his body. Her breasts felt soft and warm against his chest, her leg rubbing against him suggestively. The heat from her centre was obvious against his thigh and he turned his head to kiss her, her tongue swiping against his playfully.
"You are merciless, love," he chuckled, drawing his fingers out of her mouth and stroking her smiling face. "I'm going to need at least a few minutes here."
"I can make the wait much more fun for both of us," she promised, kissing his chest.
He sighed happily and reached up to play with her hair. "I should have guns pointed at me more often if this is what it does to you."
She turned and gave him a furious glare. "Alex Lewis, don't you even joke about it!"
He smiled at her and nodded in understanding. Taking her hand in his, he brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them one after another. "Nothing was going to happen, Anna. It was all just for show. They would have been insane to execute a British officer."
She huffed and ran her hand over his chest. "They seemed insane enough to me. You remember what Mary said. They wanted the fleet to come here. They were ready to die for their ridiculous beliefs and take you with them!"
He pulled her to him and kissed her softly. "You weren't actually scared, were you?"
"I was terrified," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I didn't even think about how I might have been next in line. All I saw was that gun to your head and all I thought about were all the things I wouldn't be able to have in my life without you with me."
"Anna," he said warmly, kissing her again. "You won't be rid of me that easily."
"I better not. I have plans for you," she declared, settling down against him. She stretched her arm and leg across his body protectively, as if he might slip away if she didn't.
They both remained silent for a good while, lost in their thoughts. Training taught them to put all the events of the abduction out of their minds, to not dwell on anything, lest it consume them. When they finished their debriefing, they couldn't get back to their quarters fast enough, desperate to be together, to touch and taste skin-to-skin, to remind each other that they had come through the ordeal.
Since Mary took over as acting Captain of the Andromeda, Anna had increased responsibilities as her second-in-command. She threw herself into the task, wanting to both support her best friend and ease the crew's worries following the loss of Captain Crawley. She knew she was lucky to be able to have her husband onboard the same ship and live a relatively normal married life outside of their duties, but planning for the future had been put on hold for the better part of the past year. Alex had to adjust to taking full command of the ship's fleet and there was no time to speak about or even think about taking vacations, visiting friends and family, or having children.
When she was forced to sit and watch a soldier point a rifle at Alex's head, all of her dedication to her job vanished. She knew she was a good wife to him, he told her that often enough, but the threat of losing him filled her with intense remorse for all the things they'd put off, all the times she had told him that aspects of their life together had to wait until the 'time was right'. Following their rescue, on the shuttle ride back, she rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his chest, not caring at all that they weren't alone. All that mattered was feeling his heart beating strong and true, breathing in his scent, hanging on to him and never letting go.
"Love," he called, massaging her back.
"Hmm?" she mumbled, still lost in the daze of her thoughts. She imagined them lying in the grass beneath a warm sun, watching as two blonde-haired children with Alex's eyes played in the swimming pool in the back of their home.
"So about you promising to do anything I wanted," he recalled, massaging her back.
She laughed and looked up at him, filing away the happy vision for the time being. "Mmm hmm? Have some ideas, do you?"
He grinned. "Maybe one or two."
She smiled wryly and nodded. "Well, a promise is a promise, I suppose."
His whole face lit up and she laughed at how eager he was.
"What you said before," he mentioned earnestly. "Did you mean it?"
Her breath caught seeing the hope in his eyes.
"About you putting your baby in me?" she drawled, reaching up and kissing him. "Maybe it's time that we started trying for real."
He grinned and kissed her soundly.
"How's your recovery going?" she joked, sliding her hand down his body.
"Getting better all the time," he groaned.
She took hold of him and stroked him slowly, staring into his eyes intently and showing him all that was in store for him for the rest of the evening.
The corridor seemed impossibly long, even though the Captain's quarters were the only rooms on this floor of the ship. It had been months since Mary had ventured here, the pain too overwhelming when she thought of coming to an empty suite. In the beginning, she did visit once, just to make sure there was nothing here that she might need in her role as acting Captain. She left having stolen three of his shirts, a pair of his shorts and a pillowcase, his scent still lingering on the fabric. They were a small comfort to her as the nights went by and she began to wonder if they would ever find a cure for him.
As the doors to his rooms drew ever closer, she swallowed and took a deep breath. Arousal and anxiety mingled within her, her mind felt unhinged somehow, as though she wasn't quite sure what she was doing.
Sybil explained to her all that happened. The isolating of the poisoned cells in Matthew's body and how she was able to remove them with a bit of inspiration from something Tom, of all people, told her. Edith confirmed it all later during their debriefing. When they told Matthew that Mary, Anna and Alex had been abducted, he tried to rise and head for Fighter Control. His unused muscles protested and when it seemed that he might stubbornly crawl all the way there, Sybil arranged for a control rig to be brought to him. He struggled to put his VR suit on and apparently turned the air blue when the interface didn't come online right away. Once he was linked to his familiar fighter drone, however, it was like he had never left.
She paused, his door looming before her. She didn't bother asking her sisters if Matthew had mentioned her at all. The fact that he wasn't waiting for her when she came back to the ship gave her all the answers she needed as to his state of mind and where she stood with him. She blocked all of that out and stepped forward so that the scanners would detect her presence. Seeing him alive would be enough for now.
The doors slid open silently and she entered the familiar foyer, proceeding through to the living room.
"Matthew?" she called.
"In here," he answered.
She blinked, the sound of his voice sending a shiver up her spine. As she crossed towards the bedroom, she waited for the scene to disappear and fade away, just another VR program to keep her warm on another lonely night without him.
When she finally found him, she knew it was all real.
He was lying in bed, the duvet folded across his waist. His bare chest and arms drew her eyes right away, but it was his tired face that made her pulse jump.
"Hello, Mary," he said softly.
How she stopped herself from running to his side, she didn't know, but she walked over to him calmly and slowly. There was a hint of him in the air, a scent that no VR program could ever replicate. It was true. Matthew was alive.
She looked at the bed, seeing more than enough room for her beside him. A part of her, the part that had shared this very bed with him on so many occasions, yearned to take her rightful place there. Yet, looking into his cautious blue eyes and having heard no invitation, she chose to take a seat on the bedside chair instead. Matthew was alive. For now, that was enough.
"Well, once a hero, always a hero," she smiled politely, avoiding his eyes. "Out of stasis for mere minutes and you come charging to our rescue."
He smiled plainly. "Are you all right?"
She nodded. "Your timing was impeccable. Have you spoken to Alex?"
"No," he answered. "There will be plenty of time for that. I barely made it to bed when I got here. My legs feel like jelly."
"I won't tell Sybil. No names, no pack-drill," she teased, daring to look at his eyes.
"I appreciate that," he nodded and for just a brief a moment she thought she saw his warm smile, the one he reserved only for her.
But he turned away and spoke to the ceiling instead.
"She would have me lying in that infernal capsule still if she could, running God knows how many tests," he grumbled.
"And you would be complaining about every single one of them," she laughed knowingly.
He sighed resignedly and glanced over at her. "I haven't had a chance to review anything. Will we be leaving soon?"
She frowned slightly but composed herself and nodded. "There will be some briefings with the New Byzantium government over what happened, but I expect they will be quick about it. I can handle all of that from here. There's no need for us to go back to Parliament, so we can be off later today, I should think."
"And where are we headed next?" he asked.
"There's an evacuation on Praxis that we were going to go oversee," she informed him. "A settler colony is too close to a growing wildfire and it seems that they can't contain it. They're hoping for better weather this week, but if they don't get it, we need to be there to assist. They've probably got about ten days until they'll be forced to leave if things don't improve."
"I should be back on my feet in plenty of time before we arrive," he mused.
"You should be, yes," she agreed, looking down at her hands.
"Mary, I," he began, drawing her attention. "I don't intend to resume full active duty until I am feeling up to it. I would appreciate it if you continued as acting Captain until such time as I may be able to return. I'm going to try to use this coming week to get back in shape and catch up on what's happened these past eight months. I think some time on my own will do me good."
She nodded slowly. "As you wish."
"Thank you for all that you did," he continued. "It's a long time, eight months. I'm sure you must have felt frustrated on more than one occasion."
She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Once or twice, yes."
"I'm glad that you persevered," he stated.
She looked at him intently. "As am I."
They stared at each other for a long moment, seemingly waiting for the other to say something more meaningful than the token conversation they were having so far.
"Well, you should get some rest," she declared finally, rising from her chair. "Most of the crew have heard about your return, but it won't be a problem keeping people out of your way during your convalescence. We can hold off on advising Navy Command for a little while as well."
He watched her turn and head for the door.
"Mary," he called.
She stopped, her back to him.
He grunted as he raised himself up to a sitting position.
She looked back at him over her shoulder. It was a battle within herself to remain still and not go to help him.
"I am grateful for what you did," he began softly. "You must know that it changes nothing, though, for us. We know where we stand."
She slowly turned around, her face taking on a cold mask. "Of course. I was merely doing my duty, the same as I would for any other member of this crew. I'm glad that it all came good."
"You did more than just your duty, Mary," he shook his head.
"Well, it's all worth it now that you're back," she nodded. "As for the other thing, well I suppose seeing you come through it all alive will be my consolation prize."
He looked at her forlornly. "I'm sorry. I wish I could think of something to say that would help."
Her eyes narrowed. "There most certainly is something. You know what it is, but you've decided not to say it."
He frowned. "Mary, we agreed that…"
"I don't recall any agreement," she snapped, refusing to play along any further. "I remember you telling me that you wanted nothing to do with me. Such a statement doesn't exactly invite one to agree or disagree, wouldn't you say?"
"I didn't say that I wanted nothing to do with you," he objected.
She stepped towards him, her eyes fierce. "You told me that we were cursed. You told me that it was the end of us, that we should be strong and accept it. What part of that implied that we would have any future together, exactly?"
He cringed at her harsh tone. "You know quite well why I did what I did."
"Do I?" she laughed ruefully. "I know that you told me that you loved me and proceeded to leave me all those years ago, and I know that you used me for your pleasure while your fiancée was back on Earth. As to why you did these things, well, I can only imagine."
"Do not mention her," he warned, his eyes hard upon her. "And do not pretend that what we shared was small. It was far more than just me taking you to my bed."
"How else am I to think of it, given all that's happened?" she demanded, her hands clenching into fists at her sides. "I told you exactly where I stood, Matthew. I told you that I never stopped loving you despite everything, that I would wait for you while you sorted it all out and you decided that your promise to Lavinia's spirit was more important. Rather convenient that you came to this revelation after having me so many times, wasn't it?"
"She didn't deserve to have her memory disrespected like that if we were to carry on!" he shot back. "She was someone who never caused a moment's sorrow in her whole life."
"Yes, she was sweet and kind and nice," she nodded. "And you didn't love her, not the way you love me, but you still decided that your guilt over her death meant more than our future together! Well, you've gotten what you wanted now. A clean bill of health and no attachments. Goodness, women everywhere won't be able to resist you."
He grit his teeth, his breath coming out as a snarl. "It's over, Mary. When we get back to Earth, I'm going to submit my transfer to another ship. Our time here was something out of a dream, and I told you before that we had to go back to real life, and that still holds."
She shook her head at him in rage. "I've been living real life for eight months now, Matthew. I'm quite used to not having you around. Submit your transfer, then. At least this way, there will be more room in the Infirmary for us to make use of."
She stormed out of the bedroom and walked briskly back out to the hallway and the waiting lift. During the time she spent watching helplessly and praying while Matthew was in stasis, she cried so much that she wondered if she would run out of tears.
Once she got into the elevator to return to her quarters, she found out to her dismay that they weren't quite spent yet.
"The leading edge of the blaze is moving faster than the emergency responders can contain it," Edith muttered, shaking her head as she looked at the map on the screen. "If they don't get some rain or some favourable wind, the colony will be swallowed up."
"We can configure the fighter drones for support functions and use this lake here as a water source," Alex noted, pointing to a blue shape on the map. "If this gets more out of hand this week, we won't be able to put it out entirely, but we can delay it long enough for the evacuation."
"I'll push the engines to try and get us there a day early, but that's about the most we can do," she said.
"I'll see what we can do with the fighters. Who else is meeting us there? Do you know?" he asked, turning to Anna.
"We're the closest ship," Anna replied grimly. "I'll inform Mary and we should be breaking orbit within the hour."
Alex and Anna left for the lift while Edith turned to her engineering staff and began giving out assignments on the engine changes.
"I really don't know what to say," Kemal smiled. "I will forever regret what you had to endure here. I hope it does not ruin your impression of our city, but I expect that it will."
Mary nodded at the minister's image on the screen. "I wouldn't say it's been ruined. There were parts of my visit that remain positive memories."
"I'm relieved," he nodded. "You must let me know when you are back this way, and I shall let you know when I next go back to Earth. In the meanwhile, I'd like to keep in touch, Mary. I know you're busy but if you should ever want to talk or perhaps even meet over VR, I could show you places that you didn't get a chance to experience this time around."
She smirked. "Is that an offer through official channels, Kemal?"
He chuckled and shook his head. "No. It's entirely personal. I am quite impressed by you. I know you lead a very busy life, but I should like to know you better, if you're up for it."
"Oh, I've never been one to close off an option entirely," she smiled. "One never knows where life could lead. I'll be in touch, Kemal."
"Safe travels, Mary," he smiled before signing off.
She sat back in her chair and thought of their fun night at the baths. It was the first time she had gotten a chance to truly relax and unwind. Kemal was right. Maintaining any kind of relationship – even it was just the odd chat here and there – was near impossible for her. Still, the idea of sharing a VR program with him and seeing if they had any real chemistry was enticing, particularly given that she had put off any kind of social life for over a year now.
She frowned and turned away, looking back at her computer and trying to lose herself in work. If she allowed her mind to wander to why she had isolated herself for the past eight months, she would drown in bitterness, just as she had last night upon leaving Matthew's quarters.
"We're ready to leave for Praxis, Captain," Anna advised, coming into Mary's office. "Edith thinks we can reach there in six days, rather than seven. You can come out when you're ready."
Mary nodded but made no move to rise from her chair.
Anna looked at her curiously. "You all right?"
Mary glanced at her briefly before closing her eyes and shaking her head. "No, no I am not all right, not in the slightest."
Anna frowned and took a seat on the other side of Mary's desk. "I take it the reunion did not go as well as you hoped."
"He spent more time talking about the status of the ship and how soon we would be on to Praxis as opposed to talking about us, so yes, it was quite disappointing," Mary scoffed, occupying herself with reviewing evacuation plans, though she was hardly focused on what she was looking at.
"Not entirely unexpected," Anna remarked quietly.
Mary sighed. "No, I suppose not. Bringing a man back from the dead would usually enough to impress someone, one would think, but then he always did have rather high standards."
Anna smiled sympathetically.
Mary shut her eyes for a moment. "He's just so bloody righteous. I can't fight a ghost, Anna. I tried that before and it clearly hasn't worked. He puts himself and his misplaced sense of honour before us and whatever it is we could have."
"He has to be true to himself, though," Anna replied cautiously. "That's the man that you love, after all. Would you want him if he could so easily put Lavinia's memory aside, or worse, if he didn't face his demons and allowed them to fester?"
Mary huffed. "All those months I told myself that I just wanted him to come back. I didn't expect him to fall into my arms in gratitude, but I hoped he would see the lengths I was willing to go for us to be together and that it would mean something to him."
"It does mean something to him," Anna nodded. "He's a good man. You know that he is. He just needs some time to sort everything out."
"I'm running out of time," Mary sniffed. "He wants to transfer to another ship once we get back to Earth."
Anna blinked in surprise.
"He said it's over, Anna," Mary shook her head. "And since he said it, how could it not be?"
HMS Andromeda, Mothership Class Spacecraft, Milky Way Galaxy, January 2119
"What we want to do here is cut the angle to the target. A sweeping turn exposes you to potential counter fire and flanking manoeuvres. If we hit the apex here instead, we can keep the throttle open and you're into firing position much faster," Matthew explained, allowing the video to run and show the difference between the ideal flight path and what Tom had done.
"He loves using my videos for the examples," Tom complained, leaning towards Alex.
"Your videos give us the most learning opportunities," Alex shot back with a smile.
The other pilots paid closer attention while Matthew continued with the lesson. Since leaving New Byzantium days ago, the Captain was becoming more and more mobile, no longer needing to rest as often and able to stay on his feet for longer periods. He resumed his training sessions in the gym and classroom work with the pilots that he always did before. His presence was a morale boost to the crew. Having Mary, Anna and Alex abducted had sent a wave of trepidation across the ship, reinforcing the risks they all faced with every new mission. While Mary remained acting Captain, seeing Matthew alive again was a comfort.
Seeing the two captains together was a rare unicorn, however, rare as in it never happened.
Once the class was over, Tom and Alex rose from their seats and met Matthew as he was coming up the aisle.
"How much did you two listen to?" he asked. "Dare I hope for half?"
"A quarter for me, maybe an eighth for Tom? He fell asleep," Alex shrugged.
"I didn't fall asleep!" Tom scoffed. "I didn't need to pay much attention. They were videos of my flights. I was there."
"Next class, I'll let you take the lead, then. You can explain to everyone what you were thinking," Matthew joked, sharing a knowing glance with Alex.
"That sounds like fun, yeah," Tom scoffed. "Have the entire squadron criticizing my flying."
"It wouldn't be the entire squadron," Alex shook his head. "The class is only an hour long. We wouldn't have enough time for everyone to get a turn."
Matthew and Alex laughed while Tom continued to pout. They made their way over to the Pilot's Mess Hall. With the rest of the squadron returning to other duties, the pristine eating area was mostly empty. Taking their customary corner table, they ordered drinks and snacks. The food was brought out by a robot and Tom began tearing into his bowl of dumplings with gusto.
Matthew gave him a wry smile and sipped his sparkling water.
"Class makes me hungry," Tom fired back before returning to his meal.
"You do know that you have to speak to Mary, don't you?" Alex stated, making Matthew instantly frown. "As in, normal and regular communication? You're both captains. You can't avoid each other forever."
"We don't avoid each other," Matthew grunted. "We talk all the time."
"Direct messaging isn't talking," Tom chimed in, not even looking up from his dumplings.
Matthew glared at him and reached for a carrot spear.
"She's still in love with you," Alex continued. "Anyone can see that."
"I don't think so," Matthew shook his head. "How could she be? Our last actual conversation didn't end very well, to say the least."
"It's Mary. One fight isn't going to change anything, especially when it comes to you," Tom replied. "Crawley girls are made of stronger stuff than that and you know it."
Matthew sighed and leaned back in his chair, staring down at his plate. "It has to be like this. I don't mean to hurt her but what we did was wrong and to pick up again now would be disgraceful. We would be flaunting our…my…betrayal. I won't do that."
"Did it ever occur to you that Lavinia wouldn't have wanted this?" Alex asked quietly. "She was sweet and kind. She loved you. She wouldn't have wanted you to be unhappy."
"I deserve to be unhappy!" Matthew snapped. "You think that she would be pleased for me to be with Mary, to be with the woman that I cheated on her with? That's ridiculous."
"She knew you loved Mary," Tom stated. "She told you that you belonged together because you do. We all know it. We've all seen it. Nobody deserves to be unhappy. Right now, you and Mary are both suffering. You can do something about it and if you don't, you're either fucking weak or too blind to see what's right in front of you."
Matthew cringed at Tom's words but said nothing.
"We know that you think you're doing the right thing, whether it's because you think you deserve to be punished or because you're afraid of what a future with Mary might mean," Alex said. "But just think it through. Leaving and taking over another ship isn't going to change anything. You could be at opposite ends of the galaxy and you'll still think about Mary and you both will still have a hold on each other. You think that you're being honourable, but all you're doing is throwing away something precious out of guilt."
Matthew groaned. "You both act as if my life with Mary was some utopian vision. It wasn't. You both know that. We fought all the time. We disagreed on a lot. We're very different people from entirely different backgrounds."
"You're both toffs to me," Tom shrugged.
Matthew elbowed him in the side. "If I go back to Mary, the spectre of Lavinia will loom over us forever. You can't build a meaningful relationship like that. She needs to move on and start fresh and so do I. That part of our lives that we shared together is over now. The sooner that she accepts that, the better off she'll be."
"Are you sure that you've accepted it?" Alex questioned.
Matthew blinked. "What are you talking about?"
"I think that you're deliberately pushing her away so that it makes it easier on you," Alex explained. "You have so much history, even before Lavinia. That's why you had an affair, isn't it? It's not as if some pretty young thing seduced you. You and Mary couldn't stay away from each other. You tried to end it before and you got poisoned and she stood by your side for eight months and fought with everything she had to bring you back. That scares the hell out of you."
"Are you saying I'd rather I died?" Matthew exclaimed incredulously.
"No, obviously, but seeing Mary's level of devotion is terrifying you," Alex pressed. "She's supposed to be selfish and spoiled. You probably expected her to take up with someone else over the past eight months. She didn't. She loves you more than anything else in the universe and that scares you."
"Why would I be scared of someone loving me?" Matthew demanded.
"Because you don't think you deserve it," Tom mumbled through a mouthful of food.
Matthew scoffed.
"You need to figure all of this out instead of just avoiding it," Alex advised. "The first time that you broke up with Mary was painful, I get that. That was a long time ago. You might not think you can trust her now. You might not believe that you can last. If you're looking for something safe, that's not Mary. You knew that when you were engaged to Lavinia and you still couldn't stop yourself."
Matthew exhaled harshly.
"You love her, that's all there is to it," Alex declared. "You won't be happy with anyone else while both of you still draw breath."
"So what do you want me to do? Apologize and ask her to take me back?" Matthew asked doubtfully. "It's Mary. She won't be so easily convinced, nor will she forgive me for all that I've put her through, and really, she shouldn't."
Alex glanced over at Tom. Tom swallowed the food in his mouth before turning to Matthew and looking at him intently.
"How about you convince yourself first? Make peace with whatever doubts you have. She won't believe you if it sounds half-hearted and she'll know the difference," Tom assured him.
Matthew sighed and took a sip of his drink.
Sybil glanced up from her computer when she felt eyes upon her. When she saw who was standing in her doorway, she rolled her eyes and went back to her work.
"Yes, Captain?" she scoffed.
Matthew rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. "How long are you going to hate me, Sybil, honestly?"
"I haven't put a time limit on it," she replied, still not looking at him. "You broke my sister's heart. I should think I get a few days of despising you at least."
He sighed and came into her office, taking a seat on the chair opposite her desk.
"I didn't want to hurt her, darling, you know that," he tried.
"And yet you did so very effectively," she shot back, glaring at him for a moment before looking back at her screen. "And don't call me 'darling', at least not while I still hate you."
He shook his head.
"What do you want, Matthew?" she asked. "I have a lot of work to do, and that's for real, not just an excuse for trying to get rid of you because I don't need an excuse for that."
He nodded. "I'm trying to piece together what happened over those eight months that I was in stasis. I've gone over the mission logs and Mary's reports, but there's precious little about what was going on in here, what was going on in there."
"We kept it secret. We had to," she answered. "Mary was afraid that if Papa or anyone at Command found out we were searching for a cure for you, they would accuse us of compromising our missions and would have you sent back to Earth or another facility. We didn't keep public records, didn't mention you at all so that no one would bother us."
He frowned slightly. Though the circumstances of his treatment and return were still overwhelming to him, the process itself did make sense. With no family left on Earth and no one to wonder what had become of him following the poisoning, keeping him onboard the ship was a better option.
"You do realize what she did for you, don't you?" she remarked, looking at him coldly. "She kept you alive through sheer force of will sometimes. We don't leave people in active stasis for eight months. It's not the done thing. She didn't want to freeze you entirely because she wanted your organs to continue to function. We scoured the galaxy, Matthew. We went to worlds we had never been before just on nothing more than a rumour that there might be something there that would help you. Do you know how many times we failed? Do you know how often we came away empty-handed and felt absolutely gutted that we were no closer to a cure? These eight months have been a nightmare, Matthew, a complete and utter nightmare. Yet, here you are. Do you understand what that all means?"
He swallowed, staring at her in disbelief.
She rolled her eyes and went back to her computer. "Send observation videos from private account to Captain Crawley, approval, Crawley, Sybil Cora, authorization code, 'Tom is an idiot but I love him anyway'."
The computer beeped in confirmation.
He glanced at his watch and saw the files transferred to him. "What's this?"
"You want to know what happened? There you are," she said, not looking at him. "Now if that's all, please leave."
He opened his mouth to say something but seeing her rigid posture, he elected to get up and go, nodding to her before leaving the Infirmary.
Mary took deep breaths, steadying herself and trying to calm her pulse. Her arms were tensed, holding the sword above her head in a high guard. Her eyes flicked back and forth, glancing about carefully and cautiously. Her ears were finely tuned, ignoring the whirr of the fans and the thump of the music filling the room.
A brief chime cued her to bend her knees and crouch just before five soldiers appeared all around her. She spun and swung the sword, slicing through two of the illusions before elegantly rising up and thrusting with both hands through the chest of another. Reaching behind her, she parried an attack from a fourth before kicking at the fifth. Jumping off the ground to avoid an attempt at a trip, she pirouetted and decapitated the fourth soldier. The fifth soldier was upon her in an instant and she had to sway back and forth, using her sword to defend the blows raining down on her. Ducking her head, she lowered her sword for a moment before flicking it back up and cleaving through the fifth soldier from his hip to his shoulder.
She was panting for breath when she finished, frowning over at the display screen that showed her time and statistics.
"Too slow," she muttered, shaking her head on her way to the side table for a drink of water.
Her blood raced as she gulped down her drink. Exercise always seemed to get her riled up, which was unfortunate since she already had plenty of aggression that she wanted to work out and was trying to calm herself. Some people ran or swam, lifted weights or even went to the shooting range. She preferred the combat simulator. Even though she was merely fighting holograms, there was something intensely satisfying when they disintegrated after she ran them through.
A wicked smile crossed her lips as she debated changing the program so all of her opponents had Matthew's face. That would spice things up a little.
"Are you done?"
She frowned and looked back over her shoulder as the man in question walked in. He was wearing compression pants that hugged his legs and hips and a sleeveless top that showed off his bare arms. Her eyes took him in for longer than she wanted to before she pulled herself away.
"I'm just getting started actually," she replied with disinterest.
"Well, can I work in with you, then?" Matthew asked, his eyes devouring her shorts and sports bra that left her back and arms bare but for a thin strip of fabric. "Or are we not friends enough for that?"
She looked back at him and arched her eyebrow. "Why not? It may help that we're not friends, actually. No need to hold back."
He rolled his eyes as she picked up her sword from the table.
Going over to the weapons rack, he studied the available options before choosing a long chain with a handle on one end and a weight on the other. Swinging it back and forth, he stepped up onto the simulator floor and waited for her to join him.
"Two-person co-operative?" he suggested when she came over to face him.
"I prefer Versus," she replied. "It's a better workout."
He grit his teeth. "Fine. Versus."
The computer chirped when Mary entered the parameters. Five soldiers appeared around each of them, waiting for the competition to begin.
The clock floating above them counted down from ten. Mary and Matthew stared at each other, neither revealing anything in their neutral expressions.
She chastised herself for ogling his body when she ought to have been readying herself for combat. He wasn't as fit as before, having been less than a week out of stasis, but he had some colour to his skin again and his form was far better than when he was lying in that capsule. She glanced at his large hands, his fingers poised ready to strike. Her mind conjured the incredible things he did to her with those hands, holding her hips while she rode him, teasing her breasts, pinning her arms down, smacking her bottom. She had to purse her lips to shake the images away.
He frowned as arousal coursed through him at the sight of her. Eight months had passed since the last time he had made love to her and his body was feeling the absence now. Her breasts were raised and framed delectably by the sports bra, the curve of her hips reminding him of where he loved to place his hands while he ravished her. Even now he could feel the tension between them, the electric pulse that drew him to her effortlessly. A part of him was still that young boy who whinged to his mother about having to visit Downton, only to be stunned when he met her for the first time, her beauty surpassed only by her stinging tongue telling him to 'quit moaning like a bawling infant.'
The buzz of the horn shook each of them out of their reverie and all thoughts were forgotten as they charged forward.
The soldiers around them were ostensibly their teammates, but the simulation was designed to test how they reacted in a crowded fight. This wouldn't be some fake battle where enemies approached them one-at-a-time. Mary leapt to her right and cut through a soldier upon landing, using the sideline of the floor space to guard her back as she turned to face the remaining four assailants. They came at her in a wave, swinging all at once. She had to parry and duck, crouch and hop, constantly move to avoid being hit.
Matthew's arm ached, the strain of being back in close combat setting his muscles afire. He launched his chain at one soldier and yanked him across to collide with another. Though the enemies did not have any actual substance to them and the weapons that Mary and Matthew were using were merely plastic replicas, the sensors in the simulator were able to calculate the physics of what was happening and react accordingly. When a hit came through, they felt a small shock, and similarly, the force of their own attacks were calculated to determine if it was enough to kill an opponent, or merely stagger him.
Mary grunted as a parried blow glanced off her shoulder. She quickly rolled to one side and as she came up slashed through the legs of the two remaining opponents. As they crumpled to the floor, she stabbed each of them clean through for good measure before rising up and seeing Matthew still engaged with two remaining foes.
She licked her lips involuntarily, watching him move with deadly grace. It was rare that they were ever forced to fight during a mission, their roles as captains keeping them on the command bridge and out of the fray. Still, to see him moving now filled her with mixed emotions – relief that he was alive and had come back, hunger for his touch and the feel of his body against hers, and excitement at the prospect of knocking him on his arse.
Excitement won out.
Not bothering to wait for him to finish with his two opponents, she charged forward, her sword raised and ready to deliver a powerful slash. He whipped the chain behind his head and spun on his knees, the ends of the weapon flying out in a cutting arc and slicing through the two soldiers. Grabbing both ends of the chain in one hand, he easily pounded both soldiers with hammer blows until they disappeared. Without pause, he raised the chain above his head with both hands and held it taut just in time to catch Mary's strike that was aimed for his head.
Torquing his arms, he wrapped the chain around her sword and pulled her down, sending her tumbling. She pulled her weapon free when he came around to finish her and she rolled out of the way as the chain came thumping down on to the floor. Swinging her legs around, she spun and got back to her feet before he could attack again.
They stalked each other, circling around and appraising the other's stance. Now that it was just the two of them, the winner was whoever could land five clean hits first or force the other to surrender. Though Matthew had the advantage in range with his longer chain, Mary could deliver faster attacks with her sword. Neither one of them wanted to be the first to lunge forward.
"Tired?" she taunted him with a raised eyebrow. "It's been a while since you've worked up a sweat, hasn't it?"
"I'm feeling fine," he replied, swinging the chain back and forth menacingly. "Simulations are adequate for exercise, but it's hardly a true workout."
"That's true. There are other pursuits that are a more proper test of one's stamina," she drawled. "I suppose we'll have to settle for this. Try and stay alive long enough to actually get some benefit out of it. If you get taken down early, it would be a waste of time."
His eyes narrowed at her inference. "You're rather confident."
"You will recall that I have quite a lot of experience leaving you a quivering mess," she smirked.
"That's not how I remember the majority of our encounters," he retorted. "You seldom were able to outlast me, were you?"
"Or perhaps that was what I led you to believe," she replied. "It could have all been an act, you know. Just me being generous with your ego."
He frowned.
She stepped forward and thrust, forcing him to turn to the side. He dodged her following slash but was unable to stop the third cut, which though it glanced off his back, still registered as a hit.
He scrambled away from her and swung his chain back. She arched backwards to avoid the attack, which left her vulnerable to the other end of the chain which came across and snaked around her leg. With a strong pull, he sent her down to the floor.
She jumped back up as he pulled his chain back, the glowing scoreboard above them showing they were tied at one hit each.
Back and forth they went. She scored another point from a clever feint and jab, and yet another from jumping over his swing and hitting him in the shoulder. Her blood was singing in her veins and her head was light and buzzing with thoughts of victory. She parried two more of his swings and when he turned to come back around she crouched low and spun, slapping him on the ass with the flat part of her sword before standing back up with a mischievous smirk on her face.
"It seems I need only one more point and I win," she crowed, though her pulse was racing and her legs were burning from exertion. "Would you like to give up now and spare yourself the embarrassment of such a lopsided defeat?"
He frowned up at the scoreboard showing him down 1-4. "No, I'll take my chances, thanks. Perhaps I'll get lucky."
She arched her eyebrow. "Matthew, I'm afraid that as a result of your recent decisions, you won't be getting lucky for a very long time, indeed."
He grunted and swung the chain around and around at his side. "Let's see."
She raised her sword to high guard once again and watched him closely. All she needed was one more hit. She could wait for him to come to her.
He spun the chain faster and faster, moving it across his body from left to right. He took a step forward, the spinning chain flashing in front of him, effectively forcing her to retreat. He did it again and again, and she recoiled, her mind working to figure out how to stop his advance. She circled to her left to avoid being wedged against the back wall, her eyes watching him closely. He adjusted and kept coming, leaving her no recourse but to keep space between them.
When he finally fired the chain towards her, she barely had time to gauge the trajectory before she jumped over top of it. She didn't realize that he wasn't still holding on to it until a fraction of a second too late.
He charged forward, taking advantage of her distraction as the chain went flying across the room and landed harmlessly on the other side. He caught her before she could land and drove her into the floor, her sword flying from her hand on impact. The air seemed to fly from her lungs as he landed on top of her and before she could recover, he slipped his leg over her waist and mounted her torso, trapping her between his knees.
She brought her elbows up and blocked his initial flurry of open-handed strikes. Though he had her pinned, connecting with a clean hit would be difficult for him. Unfortunately, it was near impossible for her to do anything to him in return given his dominant position.
"Well, seems I'm getting lucky after all," he grunted.
The computer beeped as he slipped his hand past her guard and connected with her shoulder.
4-2.
"Would you like to give up now and spare yourself the embarrassment of choking away such a big lead?" he growled, avoiding her attempt to slap him.
He faked an elbow to her chest and when she moved to cover, his other hand shot out and landed flush against her collarbone.
4-3.
"Submit, Mary," he commanded, his voice deep and strained. "It's over."
She glared up at him and continued to struggle. Bringing her knees up, she raised her hips and swung her legs to the side. His eyes went wide as he pitched forward just enough to lose some momentum. She grabbed hold of his arm and wrenched it as she threw all of her strength into lifting off the floor and rolling him over.
He grunted as she put him on his back and scrambled over top of him. Keeping hold of his arm against her chest, she yelled out and punched him clean in the face.
His head snapped back for a moment before he stared up at her in shock.
Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open.
His arm slipped away from her as she released him, dropping her hold as if she'd been scalded. A flush of red bloomed where her fist had connected with his cheek and her stomach churned at the sight.
The computer announced that she had won in a pleasant voice.
"Matthew," she whispered.
He cleared his throat. "Well done, Mary. That was an impressive move."
She got to her feet, still staring down at him as though she was unsure what had just happened. Before she could think about reaching out to help him up he was already off the floor.
"Are you…was that…are you all right?" she stammered.
He glanced over at her indifferently. "I've been through worse."
Her anger boiled over at his tone. It was as though he didn't even care what had just happened, as if anything that happened between them from now could be easily shrugged off.
"Fine," she hissed. "Thank you for the workout."
She went over to the table and snatched her towel and water bottle. Her entire body seemed to be coiled tight as she headed for the door.
"Where did you learn how to do that?" he called, making her stop and turn around. "I've never seen you counter against full mount before."
She swallowed, her fury simmering. In the moment before answering him, she could think of nothing except this was how their lives would be from now on – fighting, resenting each other, throwing snide barbs or veiled remarks back and forth and finally walking away with nothing left to say. She had plenty of people in her life that she was indifferent to. He wasn't supposed to be one of them. This wasn't the way they were with each other. This wasn't the way the days after his waking up from almost dying was supposed to go.
But this was her reality now all because of his choice to leave her.
"It's been eight months, Matthew," she replied icily. "Surely you didn't expect me to be the same person I was before?"
She turned and left before he could think of anything to say in return.
'Sybil tells me that you may need some extended recovery time when you wake up. We can't be sure what side effects there may be from the venom, or whatever cure we end up finding.'
Matthew stared intently at the display, the image of Mary sitting next to his capsule in the Infirmary captivating him. The files that Sybil gave him included treatment plans, experimental trials, clinical notes and reports from the past eight months. It was a mountain of information on all that Mary and her close circle had tried to revive him following the attack. Reviewing it all was tedious and even sickening at times, but he pushed on. He wanted to understand what everyone was going through over that time, how they had dealt with the uncertainty and doubt that must surely have crept in as the weeks went by and he didn't show any signs of recovering.
'We should go somewhere for you to convalesce,' Mary told him onscreen. 'I expect you won't want to go back to Downton and have everyone nursing you. Why don't we rent a cottage in the country somewhere? Maybe on the French Riviera or even in the Lake District in Italy? Just the two of us. I'll take care of you. I am capable of it, you know. Sybil's not the only healer in the family.'
He swallowed tightly. Sybil had kept several cameras trained on him at all times and the raw footage of every one of those days was part of his file. The vast majority of the video were shots of him lying in the capsule with no one else around. Every evening, however, around the same time, after everyone would have had their dinner and the night shift would have taken over for the day crew, Mary appeared.
He could hear her voice catch as though she was in the living room now with him.
'It'll be fun, darling. We can shut off our communicators and not answer any messages. It'll be as though we're just locals, though I must say that my French is far better than my Italian.'
He frowned and shook his head. Every night she showed up. Every single night for eight months.
'Just be strong, Matthew. I'm trying to carry on for the both of us, but I need you. I need you to respond to one of these treatments. Even if it's just a small change, that's enough to keep us going and look for more. None of us are going to give up, but I have to be able to show them that what we're doing is right, that all of this effort we're going to will come good.'
He ran his hand over his face, stroking his chin as he watched her wipe tears from her face.
'I love you, darling. I'm not giving up. I won't give up. You're going to get better and you're going to wake up and I'll be right here waiting for you when you do. Then we're going to lock ourselves in your quarters and you're going to fuck me senseless. Any position you want, you can have me. Your wish is my command. Just, please get better. Please.'
He grunted harshly as he felt a tear fall down his cheek. On the video, Mary wiped her eyes and pressed a kiss to the glass of the capsule before standing back up and walking away.