Previously:
HMS Andromeda, Mothership Class Spacecraft, Milky Way Galaxy, January 2119
He swallowed tightly. Sybil had kept several cameras trained on him at all times and the raw footage of every one of those days was part of his file. The vast majority of the video were shots of him lying in the capsule with no one else around. Every evening, however, around the same time, after everyone would have had their dinner and the night shift would have taken over for the day crew, Mary appeared.
He could hear her voice catch as though she was in the living room now with him.
'It'll be fun, darling. We can shut off our communicators and not answer any messages. It'll be as though we're just locals, though I must say that my French is far better than my Italian.'
He frowned and shook his head. Every night she showed up. Every single night for eight months.
'Just be strong, Matthew. I'm trying to carry on for the both of us, but I need you. I need you to respond to one of these treatments. Even if it's just a small change, that's enough to keep us going and look for more. None of us are going to give up, but I have to be able to show them that what we're doing is right, that all of this effort we're going to will come good.'
He ran his hand over his face, stroking his chin as he watched her wipe tears from her face.
'I love you, darling. I'm not giving up. I won't give up. You're going to get better and you're going to wake up and I'll be right here waiting for you when you do. Then we're going to lock ourselves in your quarters and you're going to fuck me senseless. Any position you want, you can have me. Your wish is my command. Just, please get better. Please.'
He grunted harshly as he felt a tear fall down his cheek. On the video, Mary wiped her eyes and pressed a kiss to the glass of the capsule before standing back up and walking away.
Chapter 6:
Alpha Colony, Praxis, Milky Way Galaxy, February 2119
"Crikey, look at all that bloody hell down there," Tom muttered, shaking his head as the fighters made another pass.
"Watch it, Falcon-2," Alex admonished him. "The wind is picking up. We need to get out ahead of it or this load is going to be wasted."
He led the way across the blaze, the rest of his squadron following in a tight formation. The wildfire below them roared, consuming hundreds of acres of land in a pulsing morass of red, orange, purple and blue. The flames would spew and spiral into the air as though the land was made molten, a savage beast devouring all in its path. Even protected safely away on the Andromeda while their fighter drones did the work, the pilots all recoiled as if they might be burnt should they come too close.
"Command, this is Falcon-1. We are in position for our bombing run. Please confirm all emergency responders have vacated the target zone," Alex called over his communicator.
"Falcon-1, the area is yours," Anna replied, watching the view on the display screen intently from her usual position on the command bridge.
"Acknowledged. On our way," he answered. "Ready missiles and coolant. I have the point."
The squadron peeled off and dove down towards the raging inferno. Alex picked out a spot in his target crosshairs just ahead of the blaze and fired a salvo of missiles before pulling up to a safe altitude. One after the other, Tom and the rest of the squadron came in behind, half of them firing missiles into the ground behind Alex while the remaining craft doused the area with a chemical fire retardant.
The leading edge of the fire consumed all vegetation in its path, quickly approaching the new trench that the fighters had created. All of the brush and trees fell like kindling, the land giving way as the fierce winds drove the monster on.
"It's slowing down," Tom muttered as the squadron turned back. "Sort of."
Alex watched the blaze stifled for a moment, temporarily denied the fuel it needed by the freshly cratered ground. He frowned and checked his scanners.
"Command, we've got a problem," he reported. "The embers are on the wind. The fire break is working to a point but this thing will jump that gap soon enough."
"I see it, Lieutenant Commander," Anna said grimly. "Fall back to your secondary position and continue with the trenches. If we can't stop it entirely, let's divert it as much as we can."
"Yes, ma'am," Alex confirmed before relaying their orders.
Anna tapped the console in front of her and brought up a video link to Mary.
"The fire isn't going to be stopped by the trenches. There are hotspots that are exploding into the air carrying over to untouched ground," Anna advised. "At the speed it's going, it will reach the colony in three hours. Heat shielding should hold for another ten at most, so you've got the rest of the day and night to complete the evacuation."
Mary nodded. "That should be enough time, but it will be close. We're down to colony staff, emergency responders, soldiers and their families. Have all of our shuttles on standby and tell Sybil to get the Infirmary ready just in case. We shouldn't need to bring anyone onboard, but let's be prepared regardless."
"Yes, Captain," Anna nodded.
Mary frowned and turned away from the horizon. The fire was still almost 50 kilometres away but already the sky above the domes of the colony was blackened and filthy. For the past week tens of thousands were evacuated from the area, cramming whatever they could into their vehicles and departing for another site on the other side of the distant mountains. Anyone who didn't have a craft were piled into transports, allowed one bag per person. There was a small hope that once the Andromeda arrived, the fire might be controlled and homes saved. Mary was never overly optimistic. The colony's emergency responders had been fighting the fire for months and were always retreating. Short of blasting the affected area to dust, this fire would rage until it starved. The Andromeda had enough weaponry for the job but she never considered annihilation to be an option. The fire itself was a reminder that the colonists were guests on this planet and she dared not rile their host further.
"Matthew," she called, ducking into the command tent.
He looked up from the bank of monitors, his face a stern mix of focus and concern.
"The fire break isn't going to hold it. Anna estimates that we have 12 hours, maybe 13," she informed him.
He nodded and turned his attention to the young technician manning the station in front of him.
"Get an updated list on the remaining evacuees, please, beginning with whoever requires transport and is furthest away from the city centre," he ordered. "Advise the councillors that the remaining transports can leave once they're full and keep a few in reserve so we have additional space. Thanks."
"Yes, Captain," the technician acknowledged.
Matthew turned back to Mary and nodded for them to head outside. She understood immediately and led the way.
"You seem to be settling back into command rather comfortably," she noted, smirking as they went a safe distance away from the tent. They preferred to be alone when speaking openly. Even though everyone knew that the mission was more about managing a crisis than stopping the fire, it was better for morale and productivity if the staff could focus on their individual assignments without hearing their superiors talk about the horrible scenarios that were coming true.
"I'm just a manager, really," he shrugged. "You're the one in charge, Captain."
She laughed at that and it was only partly sarcastic. When they arrived on Praxis, she commanded him to join the team that would be stationed on the ground. For one, she didn't want him cooped up in his quarters any longer. Ever since their battle in the combat simulator he had kept to himself, barely even seeing Tom or Alex. Her ire towards him had not abated by much, but she still was concerned for his welfare, and he needed to be kept busy. Besides that, he was still the Captain of the ship, even if he had not returned to active duty just yet. The crew respected him, were glad to see him back after such a long absence and she felt it was important for them to see him. Having him around gave everyone extra confidence and motivation. He had a way of inspiring that in people that she hadn't quite yet developed herself.
"I hope you remember that," she stated, glancing at him pointedly. "I expect you're scheming to take back power soon enough."
He smiled and shook his head. "No, there's no need for that. We'll be back on Earth soon enough and we can make things official. She'll be all yours once I'm gone."
She frowned for a moment, the reminder that he was soon transferring and leaving a shock to her. While their interactions recently had been entirely professional, spending time with him was as easy and comfortable as always. They were able to speak and trade ideas freely with their conversations limited to work. She knew it was partly an illusion. They were avoiding any further talk about their relationship, but if he wasn't going to raise it, she most certainly wouldn't, not after all she had done for him – for them – these past eight months already.
"I can't wait," she managed. "Your closets are bigger than mine and I'm looking forward to putting the extra space to use."
He pursed his lips and nodded, glancing away for a moment.
"This place is really quite beautiful," he noted. "It'll be a shame for it to go up in smoke."
"It's inevitable now, I'm afraid," she sighed. "The fire might not take everything. It's not as if the materials here are overly flammable, but the surrounding area will be devastated so coming back here really won't be an option."
"I suppose we should be glad that they had the foresight to start pulling out when they did," he mumbled. "Hanging on to the bitter end would only make our job all the more difficult."
She looked at him closely for a moment. "Yes, there's something to be said for knowing when to get out and save your own skin."
He looked over at her and considered her words. "That's true, but I'm sure that no one takes satisfaction in it. To walk away is to abandon so much that one holds dear."
Her gaze did not waver. "Whether the decision is a hard one or not, once it's made, one must live with the consequences."
"Fair enough," he replied. "That doesn't mean that choices come without regrets."
She nodded. "Even still, aren't we all bound by the choices we make?
He swallowed, his eyes dropping to her mouth before they were both distracted by their watches beeping.
"It's the updated evacuees list," he said, glancing at the display. "It's not too bad. We should be able to manage this, but we have to move quickly."
"Take a detachment and go collect the ones in Linwood Park. That's the furthest housing development from here," she ordered. "I'll check in at the station to make sure all the transports are ready and head to Kingsfield after that."
"All right. Be safe," he said, holding her gaze for a long moment before he headed off to gather his men.
"You, too," she replied, watching him go.
"Mr Barrow? Mr Barrow?" Matthew called, opening the door to the house and stepping inside. "Mr Barrow?"
"Oh, hi!" a thin man with short brown hair and beady eyes called, coming out into the foyer. "You must be from the Navy, yes?"
"Captain Matthew Crawley," Matthew nodded, shaking the man's hand. "Are you all set? We have you down for a household of three, correct?"
"That's right, yes," Barrow confirmed. He turned and shouted down the hall. "Jimmy! This is it! We're going!"
Matthew watched as a blond-haired man with a playful smile on his face emerged from the back of the house. A shy girl was holding on to him with one hand and carrying a toy bear in the other.
"My husband, Jimmy, and our daughter, Gloria," Barrow introduced them. "All right, one last goodbye to the house, everyone."
Matthew looked away, feeling as if he was intruding on the family's privacy as they waved farewell to their home. When they turned back, Gloria was crying softly in Jimmy arms, her little head buried in his shoulder.
"She's just a bit overwhelmed, that's all," Barrows sighed, rubbing her back. "She's upset that she has to leave Miss O'Brien behind."
Matthew frowned. "I'm sorry, who's Miss O'Brien?"
"She's our cat," Jimmy explained, sniffling as he spoke. "She belonged to this ornery old hag named O'Brien who lived next door. When the woman died, the cat came over to our house and just never left."
Matthew smiled in understanding. "Why aren't you bringing her with you?"
Barrow frowned. "Well, we just assumed that pets weren't allowed on the transports, what with allergies and lack of space and all of that."
Matthew tried to contain his laughter. "Miss O'Brien is more than welcome. She'll need to travel in a carrier and might be put in the cargo hold, but pets are certainly allowed. We had to wrestle a Forian Terrier on to a transport this morning. One of my men almost got licked to death."
Gloria turned her head to look at Matthew, her tear-stained face looking adorable. "Miss O'Brien can come with us?"
Matthew grinned and nodded. "Can you go and get her for me? We'll need her carrier, too. Quick as you can, please."
Gloria's face lit up and she looked at Jimmy in wonder. He laughed along with her and set her down to go and corral the family cat.
"Thank you, Matthew. Thank you so much," Barrow said softly. "All of us were hurting over what was going to happen to her."
"I completely understand," Matthew replied. "My mother had cats back at our home in Manchester. She called one of them her first child because she got her before I was born."
Barrow laughed knowingly.
Gloria and Jimmy came out moments later with a rather large grey tabby cat sitting inside her pet carrier. After accepting their thanks again, Matthew ushered them outside and had one of his crew load their luggage into the waiting vehicle.
"Miss O'Brien is coming with us, Daddy!" Gloria squealed, tugging on Barrow's hand.
"Yes, she is, my dearest," Barrow smiled down at her. "Do you think you can keep her company during the transport ride? She might get scared."
"I won't let her get scared," Gloria shook her head vigorously. "She can sit with me and I'll read to her and we can take a nap together just like we do at home."
Jimmy and Barrow shared a knowing laugh and boarded the vehicle.
Matthew watched them from afar, noticing small things like how Barrow and Jimmy held hands as they helped Gloria into the vehicle, how the girl seemed so comfortable with her two fathers and was bravely looking forward to this adventure they were going on. Before he got back into the vehicle, he saw them get seated. Barrow rested his head on Jimmy's shoulder, while Gloria sat next to them with Miss O'Brien sitting in her carrier at her feet. Matthew's chest tightened at the sight. A happy couple. A happy family. One blond, one brunette, and their beautiful child.
"That's the last of them, Captain," the driver informed him.
"Let's head back," Matthew nodded. "We don't have much time left."
HMS Andromeda, Mothership Class Spacecraft, Praxis, Milky Way Galaxy, February 2119
Mary adjusted the sleeves of her red dress, smoothing them out and flicking a few specks off the fine cloth. She turned her head, looking in the mirror to see how her hair fell past the four stripes and golden ring emblazoned on her shoulders and on down her back.
It was a relief to be able to get out of her uniform. The scratchy fabric and heavy boots were functional for being on the colony, but she had to take a soak upon her return to the ship. The colonists were evacuated with a few hours to spare and as a token of appreciation, the remaining councillors and emergency responders insisted that they celebrate a smoothly executed operation. Not wanting to sit around a makeshift camp sharing food rations and weak beer, she invited them all here to have a proper reception.
Any excuse for a party.
She couldn't blame them. While the Andromeda had been here for a matter of days, the colonists had been fighting the fire for months. Every foot of ground they conceded was another foot closer to the ruin of their homes and the exile of their families. To have survived now with everyone evacuated was a victory. Homes could be rebuilt. Lives were far more precious. After living in fear for so long being on the front lines of the battle, now was the time for them to finally relax and let loose.
She could use some of that.
She adjusted the high collar before smoothing her hands over her flat stomach, a smirk coming to her lips as she admired how the form-fitting dress raised her breasts and hugged her hips before flaring out to the skirt that went just past her knees. Matching stockings framed her long legs and made sure she wasn't showing off any skin. The way she normally wore this garment wasn't entirely appropriate for the occasion.
Normally, she wore sheer stockings or kept her legs bare. When Matthew saw her wear it for the first time over a year ago, he almost drooled with hunger. As soon as they were alone, he showed her how the skirt provided easy access for his questing hands and firm body. This dress drove him mad. How many times had he pushed her against the nearest wall or bent her over the nearest table to get at her when she wore this dress? Countless times. Countless, passionate, ravenous, delicious times. It was a wonder the dress was still in one piece.
It was entirely petty of her to put on one of Matthew's favourite dresses and spend so much time getting her hair and makeup the way she wanted. In other circumstances, her sisters and Anna would have chastised her for such behaviour. She couldn't bring herself to care, however. On another day she would be the mature and reasonable one. On another day she would forget about his rejection and her pain and treat this as just another event. Earlier today, however, he reminded her that he was leaving, that he was turning his back on her, throwing away what they had for no good reason at all.
Tonight, she was going to show him precisely what he would soon be missing.
"Not too bad for a day's work, Commander Smith," Alex smiled, raising his beer bottle to his wife.
She laughed and clinked her champagne flute to it. "Not bad at all, Mr Lewis."
"How was your stint in the big chair?" he joked, sipping his drink. "You were bossing people around and acting all regal, weren't you?"
She slapped his arm lightly. "I did not! I was just coordinating everything, that's all. I've had the bridge plenty of times."
"I don't know. You sounded far more gruff and authoritative on comms today," he persisted. "And we both are well aware of how much you enjoy giving orders."
"Only because you hardly ever listen the first time around," she retorted.
"Or maybe you like the sound of your own voice a bit more than you let on," he smirked.
"Mmm hmm, keep it up and let's see where this gets you," she warned.
The party was already in full swing around them. Mary had made sure there were no speeches or anything to detract from the playful mood. There was dancing, good food and drink, and most of all, relief; joyful relief. The first responders were not the most sophisticated of guests to have graced the Andromeda. They were men and women who left Earth to find adventure and new lives among the stars. Colony life was hard and grueling, but carried the reward of building something of one's own from the ground up. Faced with the threat of losing all they created, they battled an impossible enemy and survived, all of their loved ones safely on their way to begin anew in a hopefully safer locale. There was no talk of the fire here, no mention of their worries and fears, no sombre recollections. This was a party and there was room only for eating, drinking, and pure unadulterated amusement.
"Could you ever live on a colony, do you think?" Anna asked suddenly, turning her gaze from the revellers and back to her husband.
"Frontier life? Depends on where, I guess. An empty, far-off place like this, I don't know. Earth is practically a month away even at ultra-lightspeed. Being part of the first human settlers on a developed world a bit closer to home? That might be more to my taste," he answered.
"You are a city person, through and through," she laughed.
"And you're not?" he joked.
"Mum always expected me to be a stay-at-home wife," she shrugged. "Running a household was what I was raised to do, not running a ship."
"And yet my study is an absolute mess," he smirked.
She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm your wife, not your maid."
He smiled and nodded. "What are you saying? You think that we should resign our commissions and find a plot of land somewhere do you?"
"No, no," she shook her head. "I just don't think that life on a spaceship is a viable option for the long-term. I love it here but you can still be a pilot on Earth or on a colony. I could be part of a council or take command of a base. We don't need to travel the stars forever."
He nodded. "I kind of like the idea of having a proper house to come home to, with you and the kids waiting for me."
She frowned. "I like the idea of you and the kids waiting for me, with dinner already prepared, the place spotless and a glass of wine and foot massage at the ready."
He smiled. "I suppose as long as it's our home, I don't care who gets there first."
"Very good answer," she grinned, leaning over and kissing him quickly.
Tom and Sybil soon joined them and a fresh round of drinks were served.
"We should really go and mingle, yeah?" Tom suggested after a while. "We can't be the snobby officers holed up in a corner too good to socialize with the colonists."
"He's right," Sybil nodded.
"Everyone heard that, hey?" Tom exclaimed, pointing excitedly at Alex.
"Even a broken clock is right twice a day, darling," Sybil smiled, patting his arm.
"I don't know where you got that from, but all right," Tom shrugged. "Being right twice a day is more than you usually give me credit for."
"Get this one," Sybil shook her head before giving him a peck on the cheek.
"Go on, then," Alex chuckled and nodded to Tom. "I hereby appoint you the social coordinator for our group, at least for this evening."
He frowned and grumbled as they all stood up and went out to mingle.
The free flowing drinks and catchy music made socializing far easier. Tom had a way of just diving right in and introducing everyone and soon they had their own circle gathered around. They traded stories and bantered, some of the emergency responders smiling wistfully when they found out that the Andromeda was now bound for Earth.
"Excuse me," a voice called.
Sybil turned and nodded to a rather burly man who was a full head taller than her. "Hi. Yes?"
"My name is Jamal, and my mates over there have put me up to asking you to dance," he muttered, smiling sheepishly. "I don't mean to be a bother but I lost a bet and so I had to come over to you, see."
"A bet?" she repeated. "So you're only asking me to dance because you have to?"
He blinked. "Uh, no! I would ask completely on my own! It's just that I didn't think you would…"
"I would love a dance," she smiled. "Next time, though, try and not rely on your mates. It's not something a girl wants to hear."
He shook his head. "No, of course! Erm…"
"Sybil," she nodded. "And this is my husband, Tom."
Tom glanced over at the mention of his name and cast a confused look at the equally confused looking large man standing next to his wife. All the same, he extended his hand. "Hi."
"This is Jamal. We're going to have a dance," Sybil declared, passing Tom her drink.
"All right," Tom nodded, still confused as to what was going on.
"Come, Jamal," she called, heading for the dance floor.
The big man gave Tom an apologetic shrug before he turned and followed, a look of wonder on his face.
"That's nice of her," Alex noted, watching as Sybil seemed to be leading the big man through a rather intricate fast-paced dance, his hands respectfully on her waist.
"She loves to show off," Tom shrugged. "I'm going to hear about how tall that guy is for the rest of the night."
"Don't worry about it," Alex smiled. "We're here to have a good time and this is the closest some of these guys are ever going to come to being on a Mothership. They're partying, they start talking shit with each other, one of them probably put him up to it. It's harmless, really. Sybil's just being a good sport about it and she can take care of herself."
"Yeah, I'm not bothered," Tom shook his head. "She's been really stressed out lately so this is good for her."
"That's big of you," Alex smiled. "We shouldn't be so possessive of our wives anyway. It's such an archaic attitude."
"Alex," Anna said, coming over with a thin man wearing glasses. "This is Minh. We're going to dance. Hold my drink, will you, hon? Thanks."
Alex took her drink and stared in confusion as Anna brought Minh over to the dance floor and joined Sybil and Jamal.
"Anna's so generous, you know?" Tom joked.
Alex gave him a wry look. "Well, it's not like we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into when we married them. Come on."
Tom frowned. "Come on, where?"
Alex gave him a knowing smile. "There are female emergency responders here, too, you know."
Tom blinked. "We're going to get in so much trouble for this."
"We're just having a bit of fun. Do you want to enjoy yourself, or just stand there and hold your wife's drink while she dances with someone else?" Alex shrugged.
"I didn't say that. I just said we're going to get in trouble," Tom retorted, shaking his head as he set the drinks down on a side table and joined Alex.
"Don't worry. It's all good," Alex assured him.
They soon found two policewomen who looked like they could easily drink the two of them under the table. They were only too happy to dance with the friendly pilots and so, with a knowing smile, Alex led them over to where Sybil and Anna were dancing and they all hit it off brilliantly.
"We had a plan. It was a simple one, but we did have one. It took all of ten seconds for Lady Mary to scrap the entire thing and begin giving orders! The fire in that one!"
Matthew only smiled and nodded, his lips tied to his drink to stifle any reply. The councillor was obviously impressed by Mary during the evacuation, and why wouldn't he be? She greeted everyone with a smile of concern and a touch of reassurance before she made firm commands and assigned tasks with her usual blunt efficiency. It was a trick taught to them years ago by her Granny – when in a desperate situation, keep people busy so that they won't have time to question what's going on.
Mary always was a diligent student.
"It's a wonder that she's not attached, married or at least involved with someone," the councillor mused. "Beauty, intelligence, ambition – quite the package."
"The Captain is happy, I'm sure," Matthew offered. The councillor's opinion was rather offensive but ultimately didn't matter at all to Mary. Still, he felt the need to speak up for her. The question of whether he was trying to justify her relationship status to the councillor, or to himself, didn't enter his mind.
"She seems quite happy now, yes," the councillor chuckled before sipping his drink.
Matthew didn't want to look but his eyes wandered anyway, just as they did hours ago when she arrived at the party. Now, as then, her red dress – that red dress – was easily discernible in the crowd. She sat at the bar, perched on a stool and holding court as though she were a queen surrounded by courtiers. It wasn't an entirely inaccurate analogy, for a bevy of young, fit, beaming emergency responders were laughing and smiling at her every word, their eyes devouring her all the while.
A pang tightened his chest at the sight. Mary could handle herself and really, these men – boys, mostly – posed no threat. The Andromeda will drop them off at the new site past the mountains after the party is over and leave them to begin rebuilding their lives. A night of good food, good music and good company was well deserved for those who felt the heat of the wildfire on their faces and refused to turn away. As acting Captain, Mary was the hostess for this party and she was playing her role.
For just a brief second, she turned her head and their eyes met. Her smile told him that she knew he was watching, that she wanted him to watch. The pang in his chest was replaced by a fury in his stomach and he finally looked away, finishing his drink becoming far more important.
"Looking forward to returning to Earth, Matthew?" the councillor asked idly.
"I can't wait," Matthew nodded, downing the rest of his drink.
The giddiness that overtook her from the moment she entered the room was juvenile and quite vapid, she knew. She felt eyes upon her and a thrill coursed through her veins. Ever since her debut in London Society at fifteen, she loved attention. Truthfully, she craved it even as a young child, particularly when she had to share her parents' affection with Edith, then Sybil. From her teenage years onward though, it was a different kind of regard that she garnered, and one that she delighted in. As a child, she was fawned over and adored. As a woman, she was desired and lusted for, and she revelled in it.
She always told herself that it wasn't just her beauty that made her stand out. There were millions of beautiful women across the galaxy, dozens on her onboard right now, even. She was a female Captain of the flagship of the British fleet. Her commendations were plentiful, her name well-known. She was far more than a pretty face, and even strangers could see that, feel the presence that she had worked so hard to build up over the years, the aura of a beautiful, intelligent, confident and ambitious woman that one did not mess with.
A simple nod to the gathered councillors and they were all smiling back at her. A perfectly-timed laugh to the emergency responders and they were getting her drinks and jockeying for position around her. A dazzling smile and they were falling all over themselves to try and keep up with her in conversation.
After what she had endured the past eight months, it felt wonderful to be flattered and spoiled a bit, to sit at the bar and talk, tease, laugh and smile.
She caught Matthew staring every so often and warm arousal stirred within her. Let him eat his heart out and cry himself to sleep over the sight of her laughing and enjoying herself with other people, including more than a few fit lads who weren't him. She knew she was being cruel but she pushed that stray thought to the back of her mind. He was the one willing to throw away what they had. This was the cost of such a rash decision. Surely he knew she wouldn't just let him off easy?
Her drink did very little to cool the heady rush she felt. Nodding her head as she followed along to a story that one of the paramedics was telling her, she waited for just the right moment to laugh and reach out to touch his arm, running her fingers lightly over his biceps. The man – Brian, she thought his name was – grinned at the contact. She kept smiling, silently praying that Matthew had witnessed the entire exchange.
"Can I refresh your drink, Mary?" Brian asked.
"Please," she smiled, taking the opportunity to casually scan the room for a dour blond wallowing in a corner.
Her eyebrow arched the longer it took her to find him.
The arch became a furrow and the furrow became a frown. Where was he?
"Hey!"
Mary grunted in surprise as Sybil kissed her cheek and hugged her from behind.
"Hey, yourself," Mary smiled. "Enjoying the party, darling?"
"Mmm, these lads are so much fun!" Sybil chirped, resting her chin on her sister's shoulder and leaning into her. "Tom is going to be livid when we get home! I can't wait!"
Mary rolled her eyes. "You do realize that your husband worships you, don't you? You shouldn't need to get him all riled up as a form of foreplay."
Sybil giggled. "I know, but God, he's so scrumptious when he's angry with me."
Mary frowned. "Right, keep that to yourself."
Sybil laughed again, keeping her arms circled around Mary's waist.
"Have you seen Matthew?" Mary asked lightly.
Sybil snorted. "I'm not speaking to him, remember?"
"I didn't ask you if you spoke to him, I just asked you if you saw him. He was here earlier," Mary explained.
"Well, he's gone now. He came over to say goodnight to Tom and Alex a few minutes ago. He said bye to me, too, but I just gave him the death stare," Sybil noted haughtily.
Mary sighed. As much as she appreciated her sister's loyalty, Matthew and Sybil had been like brother and sister going back to when Sybil was a child and would follow him around whenever he visited Downton. They were housemates when Sybil was in medical school and she swore she never would have graduated if not for him keeping her sane and supporting her through countless stressful nights. He personally fought for her to be Chief Medical Officer on the Andromeda, even when the committee felt she was too young and didn't want the flagship full of Crawleys. To see a rift now between them was disheartening.
"So, he just left?" Mary asked.
"Apparently," Sybil shrugged. "Must not have been enjoying himself."
Mary looked over to the doorway for a moment before her attention was diverted when Brian returned with her drink.
'The Legios class starfighter has two configurations. The basic fighter is a remote-controlled drone run by an enhanced virtual reality pilot interface with full-body feedback and sensory link. The modified Beta configuration adds an additional canon cluster on either side of the rear fins and increased missile payload below the wings. While quickness and maneuverability is compromised, the additional ordinance increases the attack strength of the fighter to nearly triple the basic configuration.'
"Video off," Matthew groaned, settling back against the pillows and staring up at the bedroom ceiling. He tried everything to get to sleep but rest still eluded him hours after he left the party. Even watching technical documentaries wasn't doing the trick and those usually had him knocked out by the five-minute mark.
He rose from his bed and headed out into the living room, his restless mind refusing to let him sit or lie still. Fetching a glass of water, he drank it quickly, his vision still filled with a seductive red dress, his ears ringing with the siren song of Mary's playful laughter.
"Fucking hell," he muttered, refilling the glass and carrying it through to his study. Mary's games were annoying, but not unexpected. It was part of the reason why he was attracted to her – that she could be reckless and fiery when roused. The true Mary – the Mary he knew – wasn't nearly as spiteful and manipulative as tonight's antics suggested, but she had a dark streak and he actually liked that about her. They were rather combustible together that way – her penchant for setting her own rules drawing out some of the darkness within him as well. If he was the recipient of her playful attentions tonight, he would have no issue with her behaviour. As it was, he was the intended target of one of her schemes, and he couldn't be angry about that under the circumstances.
How could he begrudge her anything, even acting out? She was no longer his.
He sighed again, the cool water doing little to soothe him. The missing eight months that he was in stasis had caught up to him tonight. He smiled and made nice with the councillors and laughed and socialized with the emergency responders, but it all felt so rote and token. Sybil still wasn't talking to him. Edith was, but only with polite and curt phrases. He didn't want to put Alex and Tom in an awkward position with their wives by hanging out with them so he kept his distance. It was as though he was a mere member of the audience watching other people live their lives without him.
It was a glimpse of the future. A future where he would be on a different ship, with different friends, and little to no contact with Mary and her sisters.
He frowned and set the glass down on his desk. Every day since his recovery seemed to be a struggle, no matter what he did. Even when he spent his time exercising and keeping to himself, he would recall Mary's harsh words, how stilted and unnatural their exchanges were, how unlike them they were behaving around each other. Down on the colony, they were in sync, working together to save the evacuees. They could still be a good team when they were pushing in the same direction. But when they returned to the ship and the party started, they were at odds again. Beyond his annoyance with her, he felt adrift, as though there was something off about him, a sensation gnawing at him that all was not right.
He took a deep breath and wandered over to the console on the wall. All wasn't right with him and he needed to do something about it, take steps to feel like himself again. His fingers hesitated above the screen, the bright menu buttons awaiting his command. His chest felt tight and his pulse jumped, the energy seemed to drain from his legs. Swallowing and taking a harsh breath, he quickly swiped the sequence of commands before he lost his nerve.
"Play," he called softly.
Projectors in the walls and ceiling lit up. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, finally opening them but still not ready to turn around. 'Ready' flashed on the screen to indicate the program was loaded. Pursing his lips, he pivoted slowly until he was facing the room. It was no longer his study, but the parlour of his home in London. The furnishings were sparse since he was rarely there, the walls painted a bland eggshell white with a few paintings hung here and there. If Mother was still alive, he expected she would have done something about it, made it at least appear warmer than it did. Lavinia said she would change the place after they were married, claiming that to do so earlier would be bad luck.
"Hello, Matthew."
He smiled at her, taking her in. He hadn't looked upon his late fiancée in the year since her funeral. The sight of her now brought back the familiar sense of contentment and calm he always felt in her presence. One of the things he loved most about Lavinia was her hair. He had to admit he had a thing for gingers and redheads, and she wore it long, even though it took her forever to straighten it each day. For such a petite and unassuming woman, her freckles and ginger hair made her shine in his eyes.
"Hello, Lavinia," he replied, stepping towards her image. "Hello, my dear."
"I know that it would be far more convenient to call you, but I wanted to record this instead," she smiled. "You're so busy and I never know when you have time on your own. This way, you can watch when it's convenient for you."
He nodded, swallowing tightly.
She looked down for a moment. "I am so very proud of you. Captain of the largest ship in the fleet. It's always been a dream of yours. I still remember those photos of you that your mother showed me – the ones of you visiting the Academy as a young boy with your parents. Your eyes were so bright. She said you couldn't even decide what you wanted to see first, you were so excited."
He smiled wanly, recalling how his father carried him around on his shoulders for a time before he pleaded to be let down so he could run around and see the spacecraft models up close.
Her eyes came back up and she blinked, struggling to find the words. Smiling politely, she finally continued.
His heart clenched.
"Matthew, I've had lots of time to think about things – about us. I know I kept saying that you being away so much wasn't a bother, and truly it wasn't, except for the missing you, of course. I love you very, very much, and I've wanted to marry you from the first moment I saw you; all that is true," she stated firmly.
He bit his lower lip, the tears gathering in his eyes already.
"I must admit now, as ashamed as I am to say it, that I didn't really know what I was taking on. You swept me off my feet, really. My dashing Captain. All the girls wanted you that night at the fundraiser when we met, and yet you spent time with me. You told me that you liked how I didn't swoon over you, but I did. I just didn't know how to show it," she laughed.
He laughed along with her, sniffling as a tear fell down his cheek.
"You always say what a nice person I am, how generous and kind you think me to be, and I love hearing you say those things. But I am selfish, Matthew, or at least I can be. I'm selfish enough to know what I want from my life, and that includes what kind of husband I want to share it with," she said, her voice growing quiet.
He wiped his eyes but willed himself to keep watching. It had been over a year since he received this, and the subsequent events changed his life.
"I don't want to take you away from the Navy, or from your ship, your crew, your family," she smiled. "I'm afraid that I can't share you, though. I've tried. I really have. The fact is, though, that I'm a little person, an ordinary person. The way you, Mary, Sybil and the others talk about going into space, well, it just terrifies me. I don't see the excitement and wonder that you do in the stars. I just see the empty house that you've left me behind in."
He cringed to hear Mary's name from Lavinia's lips. When she recorded this message, he and Mary had already been sleeping together for nearly a year. Their affair had begun shortly after the Andromeda left Earth.
"It isn't that you're away. I can deal with that. It's that I never know where you are and what you're up to," she explained. "If you had a job that involved long hours and stretches away from home, that would be one thing. I'd be able to reach you and I could go and meet you where you worked, we could deal with it as a couple. But I can't follow you where you're going, as much as I wish I could," she shook her head.
He pursed his lips and struggled to hold her gaze.
I'm so very sorry, Matthew. I never wanted to hurt you. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. Please remember that. That's all I want," she pleaded. She began to cry and it made his own tears fall ever faster.
"I'm going to go stay with my father for a while," she declared, dabbing at her eyes. "I know you'll be furious when you get this, that you'll call and want to fight about it. You're such an honourable man. But I'm afraid it's over, my dearest. Even if you were to come back, even if you were to take a position on Earth, I would hate myself for having come between you and your dreams. I'd spend every day wondering if you resent me for making you choose, and a marriage can't survive like that. So, I'm being brave and making the hard decision for both of us now before we do something that we'll both end up regretting."
He shook his head, gasping as he struggled to breathe.
She smiled sadly, bringing her clasped hands up to her mouth as if in prayer. When she lowered them to speak again, her voice was strong and sure.
"I will always cherish the time we had together, Matthew. It was so wonderful being yours for a while, to see the care that you give to others focused on me. I think I always thought you were well above me, but you made me believe we could be, and I will always love you for that. I'm going to find someone to spend my life with, to live the life that I want with, and I so want you to do the same. I want you to…"
She stopped and covered her mouth, her eyes shutting as she sobbed. Though she turned away, the cameras still caught her as she struggled to compose herself.
"Lavinia," he whispered through his tears, reaching a shaking hand out towards her.
She took a deep breath and turned back to face him. "I want you to be happy. Goodbye, Matthew."
"Pause playback!" he choked out. Lavinia froze in place, her warm eyes and timid smile staring at a point somewhere beyond his shoulder.
He swallowed and took a moment to compose himself. Stepping forward, he came closer to her, the tears falling once more.
"I'm so sorry, Lavinia," he shook his head. "I would have called you. I would have tried to convince you to stay, you're right."
He shut his eyes tight. He played her video message the day after he received it. Before he was able to call her, he received a call of his own from Reggie Swire, a chilling, terrifying call.
"Reggie said that you were killed on impact," he whispered, opening his eyes and looking at her again. "He said you wouldn't have felt any pain and I'm grateful for that…"
He sobbed and had to close his eyes again for a moment. "I wish I would have gotten the chance to just tell you how brave you were, my dear. I know you would have made someone so very happy. I hope that you were happy with me, that I made you feel special, even for a little while, because you were so very special. You were more than I deserved."
He had to wipe his eyes and nose with the back of his hand as his legs threatened to crumble beneath him.
"Goodbye, my dear," he said softly. "Thank you for being in my life. You came along at a time when I needed someone to help me feel like myself again, and you did that and so much more. I will never forget you and you will live in my memory for always."
He took a moment to look at her again before he turned and touched the console.
A chime announced that the video was finished. When he turned back around, he was back in his study, still crying, still feeling so very empty inside.
"I'm not giving up. I don't care what I have to do or how long it takes. I'm not just going to accept that you hate me," Matthew declared, fixing his unrelenting gaze upon her.
Sybil glared at him but eventually frowned and looked away. "Don't look at me like that! You know I hate it when you look at me like that."
"Sybil, please," he sighed, softening his gaze and leaning towards her. "I can't bear you hating me forever."
"Bloody hell, I was never going to hate you forever," she muttered, rolling her eyes at him. "I was going to hold out until you left and after you called me four or five times, I would have given in."
He smiled cautiously and reached out to take her hand.
"Don't give me that smug smile of yours," she snapped, though she didn't pull her hand away. "You don't get off the hook that easily."
"I know, I know," he nodded. "Tell me what I have to do. Anything, Sybil, really."
She looked at him, her eyes narrowing as she considered his words.
He kept her stare, worried as to what she might come up with but determined all the same.
"I want you to watch the Jane Austen marathon with me next week," she declared finally.
His eyes went wide. "What?"
"You heard me," she nodded. "Twelve hours straight."
He groaned. "Sybil, come on…really?"
She took her hand back and crossed her arms over her chest. "Apparently 'anything' doesn't have the same definition anymore."
"All right, all right!" he put his hands up. "You and me, Jane Austen marathon, you've got it. Can I at least have breaks, though?"
"Two breaks, in between films only, no more than ten minutes each, and you can't leave the room except to use the loo," she declared. "And unless we're under attack, you can't take calls from the bridge or anyone else."
"Three breaks, fifteen minutes each, and I have to at least be able to message Tom and Alex, if only to keep myself sane," he countered.
She frowned incredulously. "Are you trying to negotiate this?"
He covered his eyes with his hand. "Isn't this something Tom's obligated to do with you? Can't we do something else?"
"He'd just fall asleep," she replied. "Besides, I don't hate him, at least I don't hate him yet today. You, on the other hand, I loathe and want to see suffer to get back into my good graces."
He sighed and looked up at the ceiling for a moment before nodding reluctantly. "All right. Fine. I love you and I need you in my life, and if suffering through twelve hours of contrived, overdone, embellished and ridiculously unrealistic portrayals of English country life from centuries ago is what I have to do to get you back, I'll do it."
She granted him a half-smile. "And no commentary allowed."
"Oh, come on!" he begged. "You're going to comment during the movies! Why can't I?"
"Fine, I will allow commentary, but no huffing, grunting, whinging or teasing will be permitted," she replied.
"I have to at least be able to make fun of the costumes and hairstyles. We always do that," he complained.
She rolled her eyes. "All right, but no mimicking and no stupid voices."
"Deal, deal," he accepted, grinning happily. He rose from his chair and went around her desk to hug her.
"God, if I knew you were going to be this desperate, I would have asked for more," she joked, hugging him back. "Mmm, I missed you, darling."
"It sure didn't seem like it. I thought you were going to throw a drink in my face last week at the party on Praxis," he grumbled.
She laughed and stepped away from him. "I was thinking about it, but we had guests."
He smiled and nodded. "So, you missed me?"
"Yes," she muttered. "It was worse than when you were in stasis. At least then I got to see you each day."
He chuckled. "Tom told me that he's never had so many lunches with you in one week."
She smiled. "He can be fun to be around when he tries."
He laughed.
"What will you do?" she asked him seriously. "You know that you can't leave things with her the way they are."
He frowned. "She seems to be getting on well enough."
"She's putting on act and you know it," she stated. "If you intended to just leave without a word when we get back to Earth, I'll be very disappointed in you. You're not a coward, so don't act like one."
He shook his head and looked away, taking a moment to gather his thoughts.
"I just don't know, Sybil," he said quietly. "I feel as if I'm no good to anyone. When I woke up, everything felt different. This ship, the people, they all look the same and sound the same but they don't feel the same. It's like I'm in a place that I don't recognize, even though I know every inch of this ship."
She looked at him sympathetically before taking his hand and drawing his attention.
"We've all been made different by what happened to you," she nodded. "How could we not be? We had to watch you lying in that capsule day-after-day and not know whether we would ever be able to bring you back. Mary, she had to put walls up so that she could continue on, so that she could remain focused on the task because if she lowered her guard, she would collapse. When you woke up, I felt like a part of me that had been wound so tightly for so long was finally able to relax. For her, well, it must have been like being made new again."
"Until I crushed her, you mean," he replied.
"Yes," she nodded. "Until then. You know that Mary is strong, though. She's never down for long."
"Exactly. She's a storm braver if ever I saw one," he smiled. "She'll get over this. She already is. I thought that we were better off apart some time ago and maybe that still holds."
"Don't you think she's been tested enough?" she asked.
"More than she deserved," he admitted.
"So, you're still intending to transfer to another ship?" she questioned.
He nodded. "That's the plan."
"Plans can change," she noted.
"I don't think it's only my decision anymore, Sybil," he shook his head.
"Well, you've got a little over three weeks to make up your mind and convince her, if that's truly what you want," she said. "If you're going to take your chance, be sure it's right, because she won't give you another one."
"That's the one thing that I am certain of. Thanks," he nodded before leaving the Infirmary.
"Sub-lieutenant Braithwaite, this is becoming a disturbing habit," Mary declared, frowning across the table at the young woman standing rigid before them. "I seem to recall I told you that I didn't want to see you again before the disciplinary committee and that was three appearances ago."
"Yes, Captain," Edna Braithwaite muttered, swallowing tightly as she kept looking forward.
"This latest infraction is for indecency," Mary continued, rolling her eyes as she read over the information on her tablet. "Miss Braithwaite, you're not some overheated teenager. You are a young woman beginning her career on the flagship of the British fleet. As I have reminded you on numerous occasions, you are in a position of privilege that thousands – thousands – of women would want. Juvenile pursuits such as these should be beneath you."
"Yes, Captain," Edna mumbled.
"What the crew chooses to do in the privacy of their quarters is their own business, within the bounds of ship policies and the law, of course," Matthew chimed in. "Public areas are exactly that, Sub-lieutenant, regardless of how dark and covered they may seem. There are cameras everywhere onboard, as you well know, and the potential for discovery is ever present should you choose to engage in…depraved…behaviour."
"Yes, Captain," Edna swallowed, a fierce blush coming to her cheeks.
Mary sighed. "What I can't understand is what you could possibly have been thinking. Your own quarters were close by. You and the Lieutenant could have easily gone back there and there would be no issue. Why you chose a storage closet, it's ridiculous."
"I understand how bad it looks, Captain, but we weren't thinking," Edna cringed.
"Clearly," Matthew nodded. "May I suggest that in future you and the Lieutenant show some discretion, as well as some restraint?"
Edna nodded. "There won't be a next time. The Lieutenant and I are no longer in a relationship."
Mary frowned. "I see. Well, with reprimands on your respective records, some time apart might be best. We all have duties here, Miss Braithwaite, and we cannot allow our hearts to rule our minds."
Matthew glanced over at her curiously.
"It's not because of this," Edna shook her head. "We had already ended it before."
Matthew turned back to the young woman in confusion. "Before this happened?"
Edna blushed anew and nodded. "We were having break-up sex, Captain."
"Break-up sex," Mary repeated in disbelief.
"Yes, Captain," Edna confirmed sheepishly. "We thought it would be a bit of a thrill to have our last time to be somewhere that we might be discovered. It added to the excitement, doing something forbidden, you see."
Matthew rolled his eyes.
"Well, you certainly accomplished that," Mary stated. "What you did was entirely forbidden. I hope the small thrill of it will comfort you during your probation. You will be fined and confined to quarters outside of your work shifts. You will be restricted from socializing with the rest of the crew for a period of six months and will have limited leave privileges over that time. I will delay the running of your probation until after we've left Earth."
"Thank you, Captain," Edna replied.
"Do you understand the charges against you, the finding of liability and the sentence given?" Matthew asked.
"Yes, Captain," Edna nodded.
"You may consult with counsel regarding your appeal rights, as well as the particulars of the sentence. Your department head will oversee your probation. Do not do something so stupid as to force us to have you supervised and escorted, Miss Braithwaite. There's no need to embarrass yourself even more," Mary declared.
"Yes, Captain," Edna croaked.
"While you're on Earth, you might want to evaluate your future, Miss Braithwaite, and whether a spot on the Andromeda suits you. This is a particular way of life we've all chosen to follow. If it's not for you, you shouldn't be here," Mary added, looking down at her tablet.
Edna blinked in shock.
"You're dismissed," Matthew ordered.
Edna nodded and scampered from the room, her face scarlet.
"Unbelievable," Matthew groaned, leaning back in his chair. "I can now say I've heard it all."
"She should do herself a favour and ask for a transfer. They both should," Mary muttered, swiping her fingers over the tablet to complete the necessary documentation.
"Is there a ship in the fleet where public indecency is permitted?" Matthew asked lightly.
Mary shot him a glare. "No, but her story is out there now and always will be. The rest of the crew will look at her differently now and that will affect both her ability to do her job and her self-confidence. A new start may be in order."
"I think the crew is probably more forgiving than you think," he shrugged. "Once her probation is over, it will be nothing more than a funny story to be repeated at drunken parties. No one will think her any less competent. She's already done plenty to raise that concern before this."
"I suppose," she sighed. "Still, it requires a certain fortitude to deal with adversity and I am not entirely sure that Miss Braithwaite is so equipped."
He frowned. "Are you saying she should just run away?"
She arched her eyebrow and looked at him intently. "If it suits her. Why stay if she can't handle what comes with being here, both the good and the bad?"
His eyes narrowed as he returned her stare. After a moment, he broke away and looked down at his tablet.
"Break-up sex," he mumbled. "How preposterous."
"It is a thing," she noted easily. "Doing it in a public place was the stupid part."
"Break-up sex is a thing?" he questioned, shooting her a sideways look.
She smirked. "Yes. Have you never had it?"
He swallowed but held her stare. "We didn't have it the first time we broke up."
Her eyes widened for a brief second before she resumed her calm exterior. "You left too soon for us to have it, if I recall."
He struggled to keep himself reined in but he still flicked his eyes down to her lips for a second.
She noticed.
"What's the point, anyway?" he asked. "It seems that having sex is inconsistent with the breaking up part."
She smiled darkly. "It's the finality of it. One last romp to close things off. As Miss Braithwaite said, there's a thrill to it. When you know you'll never have it again, when you know it's the last time forever, it can be quite intense."
"Intense?" he grunted, clearing his throat.
"Or so I imagine," she nodded.
"You…you've never had it?" he enquired.
"That's none of your business, is it?" she remarked.
He blinked and looked away. "No, no it's not. Apologies."
She pursed her lips for a moment, gathering her courage, or stupidity, she wasn't sure which.
"I suppose we haven't had break-up sex yet again, now that we've broken up a second time," she noted.
His head shot up and looked at her in surprise. "The second time?"
"Yes," she nodded. "We're broken up, aren't we?"
He hesitated and she frowned, looking at him curiously.
"I said that, didn't I?" he finally commented.
"So, the opportunity is there for us to have break-up sex now, since we have just over two weeks left before we reach Earth and you leave," she explained.
"That would be the right calculation, yes," he agreed.
She arched her eyebrow. "Well, then, it's just a matter of doing it."
"When do you think that you can schedule me in?" he asked.
Her pulse jumped. "This was our last disciplinary hearing of the day. I'm not on this evening. You?"
"Nothing," he shook his head.
"Shall we say your quarters after dinner?" she suggested.
"Why don't you come over earlier and we can eat together?" he offered.
"No," she replied immediately. "This isn't a date. It's break-up sex. Nothing more."
He frowned. "Very well. I'll see you after dinner."
She collected her tablet and rose from her chair. He stood up as well.
"Until then," she nodded. "Try not to eat too much. This will be the last time we ever fuck, so you'll need to be in form."
She turned away and headed for the door.
He ogled her ass as her hips shifted back and forth, then hated himself for doing that.
The door shut behind her once she left.
"Well, this is it," he mumbled to himself before heading back to his suite.