Chapter 20 Of Secrets and Success

The next few days Holly couldn't stop thinking about George. They both tried their best to keep going as usual, not to let anyone know of their little secret and it seemed as if no one noticed a thing.
Of course, it was easier since he was two years above her and they had no shared classes, so they would only see one another in the Great Hall for the meals, in their common room and every now and then somewhere between classes in crowded corridors of the castle.

Whenever that was the case, the twins stopped for a second at the trio as they normally would, greeting them, asking about their days so far or mostly joking about one thing or the other. Nobody noticed, how George would secretly pat Holly's hip while the others talked, or how his fingers would brush against hers while passing by.

On one hand, Holly really enjoyed those little moments during the day, seeing George made her heart throb with excitement and her skin tingle with longing. On the other hand, seeing him also mixed her all up, and she found herself unable to think about anything other than him, sometimes she even asked herself during classes if she would see him in the corridor later.
The outstanding participation she had shown in class during her first weeks quickly disappeared and she had trouble concentrating on the easiest tasks. Hermione often had to poke her when a Professor had been talking to her, asking her a question and she wouldn't notice. Even Ron seemed irritated by her sudden lack of interest and attention in Potions class and without her help he promptly messed up the next potion they were brewing, causing a little explosion in Snape's classroom and getting two evening's detention scrubbing cauldrons without magic for "endangering fellow pupils by pure, reckless stupidity".

Holly knew, if she wouldn't soon come back to her senses, at least her best friends would eventually become suspicious of her behaviour. Something she couldn't let happen under any circumstances. Especially Ron mustn't find out anytime soon, at least not as long as she didn't even know what this was between her and his elder brother.
Besides, Holly was really anxious about her best mate's reaction to this new… development.

The person hardest to keep her secret from was naturally Dumbledore. The old headmaster seemed to always know about everything going on in his school, most of the time before anyone else sensed anything. During Defence Against the Dark Arts Holly often felt her Professor glancing observantly in her direction, piercing her with those knowing bright blue eyes of his.

Holly wasn't sure if she could hide something so important from this omniscient man, but she tried her best during his classes to keep her concentration on the current topic. At least, Defence Against the Dark Arts was her favourite subject and she found it easiest during those hours to stay focused and participate in any of the given tasks.

But then again, there were her private lessons of Occlumency with Dumbledore, and she wasn't sure if she would be able to keep George out of her mind during their training. Their next appointment was scheduled for Tuesday evening and she felt all wobbly and nervous while strolling down the corridor to the Headmaster's Office.
After all, she hadn't made any grand progress at closing her mind yet, and usually ended up exposing all different memories and thoughts to her headmaster, embarrassing or not. She really didn't want George to pop up in her head just when Dumbledore would succeed in entering her mind.

Holly tried her best to focus on pushing every thought concerning George right to the back of her mind, before knocking on Dumbledore's door. It wasn't simple, since so many memories of hers were somehow linked to him. All Holly could do now was to honestly hope, this once, to be able to close her mind and fend Dumbledore's attacks off, without him finding out about those private sentiments of hers.

Dumbledore asked her in, and after exchanging some words of meaningless chatter their usual training began. The tall, long-bearded man started with the well-known exercises to help Holly clear her mind.
On his instruction, she did those steps every evening before going to bed, so Holly knew them by heart. She never expected them to work, and at first there was no obvious improvement and she would still wake up at night after one of those very familiar nightmares. But for some days now, she had slept soundly, without terrifying dreams disturbing her night's rest. Maybe she was slowly starting to make some progress after all. Tiny progress, but still.

Then, when she was as ready as she would be, Dumbledore started to attack Holly's mind. Even though she did her best to protect her mind, after only a half a minute he gained entrance to her thoughts and Holly saw flashes of her day

… laughing with Ron and Hermione… writing a letter to Sirius… murmuring to Hedwig while feeding her some of the Owl Treats... walking through a crowded corridor to her next class…

Holly knew in which direction her thoughts were travelling and was glad when Professor Dumbledore withdrew before her stupid brain could expose anything of importance.
It felt weird to have someone intrude the safety of your own brain, especially if it was one's Professor, but for all that Holly was glad it was Dumbledore who taught her in Occlumency and not one of the other teachers. She shuddered at the possibility of someone like Snape having access to her deepest thoughts and secrets.

She sat in her chair, panting for air as always after Dumbledore's attacks and her Headmaster smiled at her sympathetically. He summoned a glass of water in front of her and she took a sip.

"It's getting harder to access your thoughts, Holly. You're starting to hold up your wards, that's good news!"

Dumbledore looked at her over his half-moon spectacles and nodded approvingly. Holly forced herself to smile, as she was still exhausted from his last attack.

"Now, tell me, how have you been sleeping lately? Any improvement?"

Holly took one last sip and let the cool water run down her throat before answering.

"Actually, Professor, I can't remember having any nightmares these past few days. I had some relaxing nights without any disturbance as far as I can remember…"

She looked at him hopefully.

"That is a wonderful development, Holly! I knew you would start picking up soon. From now on, you will see, it will be getting easier and easier. I assume, you are still clearing your mind every night before going to bed as I told you?"

Holly bobbed her head affirmatively and he continued.

"Good. That is absolutely essential in our training. There is a booklet I would like you to read as well until our next lesson. It is quite a controversial read, as you will see, but sometimes those muggles aren't too far off…
Now, let's pursue our training."

Holly braced herself again, pushing George as far away as possible.

"Legilimens."

This time again she was able to fight him off for about 30 seconds before her wards broke and Dumbledore broke into her thoughts:

… Holly sitting in the library, working on some kind of essay… Hermione rolling her eyes at Ron while he tries to explain one stunning Quidditch move his favourite player had pulled at the game he had gone to during summer… Ron's potion exploding, leaving his face all grey with ashes… Hermione sitting next to the fire in their common room, a purring Crookshanks on her lap as she read a book…

Dumbledore and Holly tried several more times. After the first five attacks, Holly's brain grew tired and it got harder and harder to focus and keep her professor out. At last, she wasn't able to stand any longer than a second before he delved into her mind.

… Ron joining her Quidditch team, fending off one Quaffle after the other… the cool metal of the Snitch pressed against her lips as she kissed it before releasing it once more… the tiny branch of Holly stinging one of her fingers before she discovered the message… the light dancing next to the willow tree at the Great Lake…

No, she would no let Dumbledore see what was coming next, that was the most private memory in her brain and no one had any right to see this!
This was her secret and she had to protect it, she had to stop this dragonshit!

Holly couldn't tell what she had done, but the uprising anger in her took over and somehow, Dumbledore got pushed away and thrown out of her thoughts, just in time before George would have turned up in her mind.

Breathing heavily through gritted teeth she opened her eyes and was shocked to see her Professor had fallen to the floor behind his desk. Holly jumped from her chair and hurried around it, horrified to have attacked Dumbledore.

Fortunately, he couldn't have been gravely hurt, as he sat up already, only rubbing his back a little and shaking his head unbelievingly. Holly stretched out her hand to help him to his feet, but Dumbledore, surprisingly agile for his age, stood up quickly without her help and sat down in his chair.

He was still shaking his head and frowning for some reason Holly could not understand. After several moments, he pointed at the chair opposite him and Holly sat down again, not daring to meet Dumbledore's eyes and instead looking at her folded hands in her lap, whilst chewing on the inside of her cheek. Surely, she had done something terrible, she had attacked a Professor, the Headmaster at that!

"I… I'm sorry, Sir", she heard herself stammer "I really didn't want to- "

Suddenly, she was interrupted by a loud, echoing burst of laughter. Her head jerked up and she saw the old man in front of her bending over the table with laughter. After some seconds he calmed down again and even swiped away some tears of joy from under his eyes. Holly couldn't believe her eyes. What the actual fuck was going on?

"My… my dear Holly… There is absolutely no need for you to apologize!" he grinned at her, showing all of his teeth.

"There... there is not?
But Sir, I… I attacked you!"

His head bobbed up and down, still amused.

"That you have, my girl, and not only that, you were able to push me away, push me out of your mind. Out of nowhere! I did not see this coming!"

Dumbledore chuckled and stared at her intensely.

"Holly, dear, that is the first big achievement on your journey of mastering Occlumency. You did it! I don't know how or why you were suddenly able to fend me off like that, but we will have to work on that! Do you happen to remember what caused you to react in that way?"

Holly bit her lip. Of course, she remembered. But the thing responsible for her actions was her strong need to hide those intimate moments she shared with George. She hardly could tell her headmaster; besides it was supposed to be her secret.
After thinking about it for a while, she simply nodded once.

"Yeah, I actually do. Yet… it is a rather private matter, Professor Dumbledore. There are memories I wouldn't want anyone to see. And I had to protect them. I… I don't even know what I did, but out of nowhere you were thrown out of my thoughts and lying on the floor…"

Holly bit her lip and looked over to her Professor who was still beaming at her. For a few seconds, none of them said a word. Just when the silence began to grow thick and uncomfortable around them, Dumbledore spoke again:

"Very well. We will keep on working with that. The next time.
For today we are done with our training. Are you free Thursday, same time?"

"Sure, Professor."

"Alright, Thursday it is therefore. In order that you may prepare yourself: we will try to transfer this strong sense of protection you seem to have for certain memories and thoughts onto other parts of your subconsciousness. Someday soon, we might be able to protect the entirety of your mind with help of this first successful defence you showed today."

Holly didn't understand everything her Headmaster was talking about, but her mind really was tired, she couldn't stand any more explanations right now.

"Anything else, Sir?"

"Oh yes, I nearly forgot! Here, the booklet I was talking about earlier. It's about a muggle technique of training attention and awareness until you achieve a mentally clear and calm state. I thought it might be useful for you to try it at night together with your usual routine of clearing your head?"

From one of the small piles of books on his grand Headmaster's desk, Dumbledore picked up a small pale blue booklet with dark letters forming the words "Meditation for Beginners" across the front cover.
Holly shrugged her shoulders. Even if it wouldn't help, it couldn't do no harm either, could it?

Grabbing the paper booklet, she stood up.

"Thank you, Professor Dumbledore. Good night."

"Good night, Holly, see you on Thursday."

Holly walked over to the door and left. Before shutting it behind her, she looked back at her Headmaster and saw he was still smiling at her, genuinely. She couldn't help but smile back at him.

Slowly she descended the stairs and left the Gargoyle behind her, thinking about today's achievement.
She had done it, actually done it!
She had successfully managed to protect her thoughts from the most powerful wizard in the world. Holly felt really proud of herself. Sure, she had only managed to do so this once and only because of those special private memories of hers, but if she could do it once, surely with some training she would be able to master this stupid "Art" of Occlumency. With Dumbledore's help, nothing seemed impossible to her right now.

Actually, now that she thought of it, she had only made this progress because of George. It had been him, after all, she wanted to protect, her memories of being with him, kissing him. And those irrational feelings she felt towards him.

Caught up in her thoughts, she didn't notice someone watching her as she walked through the corridor.
Suddenly, the silhouette of a man detached itself from the shadows of the dimly lit corridor and Holly's heart skipped a beat as she jumped back a couple of feet and pulled her wand out simultaneously, pointing it at the person in front of her, ready to defend herself.
He stood there, both hands held out in front of him in a defensive way.

"Damn it George, you scared me to death!", Holly scolded him, but he only smirked at her.

"Really, you have to stop lurking around, waiting for me in the dark. I might jinx you one day out of fear!" Holly put her fists on her hips and glared at him angrily.

George held back a chuckle and moved closer, gently taking her clenched hands from her hips and into his.

"You are one feisty little witch, Potter."

Holly's startled heart was still pounding in her chest and only just started to calm down a little. Bloody George Fucking Weasley. If he hadn't this fricking effect on her, she really would turn away now and leave him behind. How dare he frighten her like this?
But then again, she hadn't been this close to him since Saturday, not alone with him. And she'd been yearning for his touch ever since. Seeing him every day and not being able to touch him was torture to her. Now, there he was in front of her, waiting for her in this otherwise completely deserted corridor, as it was already way past curfew and most of the pupils played by the rules it seemed.

She couldn't help but step closer as he pulled her into his strong embrace. He held her tightly between his arms and Holly rested her heavy head against his comfortable chest. Feeling him made all the tension in her body fall away and she felt herself melting into him, relaxing as they stood there, the rhythm of his heart throbbing beneath her ear while she inhaled his incredible, woody, yet clean and cinnamony scent with every breath.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to frighten you. I… I just couldn't stand not seeing you any longer. I had to take this chance, only so I could hold you like this."

His warm breath brushed against the top of her head and her scalp tingled ever so slightly. She was still a little mad at him, but she couldn't fight against the stupid feeling that spread through her body. Slowly, she lifted her arms and locked them around his neck while his hands moved down her back until they rested lightly at her bottom. He squeezed it a bit and she sighed against his chest.

"Holly?"

She moved her head, so she could look into his twinkling eyes.

"Hm?"

George bend down until their noses touched and stopped for a moment. Holly felt her heart beat quicken again, but this time not out of shock. His hot breath danced over her sensitive skin and she felt herself instinctively moving closer, pushing the length of her body against his.

When their lips met, heat spread through her body at once, steadily burning up her insides, leaving her all wobbly. They only broke apart to catch their breath after some minutes of making out and Holly heard him chortle softly as she stepped back a little.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, really. It's just… You should have seen your face earlier."

At those words he roared out with laughter.
Holly arched her eyebrows and pressed her lips together.

"You are a real pain in the ass, George Weasley."

She turned on her heels and started to walk away from him, up to the stairs.
After just a moment he was right behind her, catching her around her waist and pushing her against a cool wall, keeping her in place with his body.

"Always at your service, Madam", he said cheekily before putting his smooth lips back onto hers. Holly rolled her eyes once before returning the kiss smilingly.

So, dear friends, that is it for this year, next update will be on New Year's Day! (Yay, 2019 ftw)

I hope you have a wonderful last day tomorrow/today (depends on where you live, I guess) before starting all freshly into the new year!
Until then, stay safe and tuned,
-A