"Zelda?", in the middle of the night Hilda wakes up, to her sister sobbing. "Zelda are you okay?" She steps out of her twin bed,she turns the light on, crawling over to her sister. "Turn the lights of" Zelda speaks muffled through the covers, her voice thick with sadness. In the dark again Hilda tiptoes over, to the other bed, lifting the covers and embracing her sister tightly. "I guess you are not okay then." She states. Stroking Zeldas beautiful, long hair, she'd been jealous about for as long as she can remember, she whispers. The tears dry down after a while, Zelda snuggles in the warmth. "I've slept with Father Blackwood." The room goes quiet. You could hear a pin drop. Then Hilda shifts. "Wait what? You and Father Blackwood. That's... I..." "what? Can't imagine me with him? Because he's high priest? Hilda that's so unfair." Hilda looks away, staring at the ceiling. "No I just... I thought, because he's a man. Anyway why are you crying? Did he hurt you?" Zeldas heart starts to race suddenly. Her thoughts are circling around that remark. "No...he didn't. But it was not right. He's not right for me. He's married for gods sake." She shakes her head a last tear running down her cheek. "Also." She regains control over her voice " don't be absurd, what else would I like ,if not men." She turns around. "Women, Zelda. I thought you'd like women." Hilda strokes her back. " that's not absurd." After a few moments of silence Zelda grabs the blanket, pulling it over her. "Stop talking, or else ill kill you again." So Hilda stays quiet, getting killed over something like this seems not the best idea. Shes never the less smirking. "Awfully defensive." She thinks before slipping into sleep.
When Faustus calls for her, after a weeks and a half she declines, very gracefully slipping out of the office, swaying her hips only a tiny bit, just to make sure he sees what he's missing. The pain of the unofficial breakup fades away the remark Hilda made stays in her mind. She starts thinking about it more often, even if it's totally absurd. How to these women even have sex. She can't ask Hilda, she would just be smug about it calling her out, so she dismisses the thought, as soon as it comes up.
At breakfast she sips her tea, smoking her first cigarette of the day, going through the Spanish newspapers of the day.
"Maybe, Zelda." Hilda starts talking out of the blue, "You are bisexual." Sabrina looks up, snorting tea trough her nose. "Sabrina." She looks at her niece with disapproval. "Also Hilda stop rambling. Bi what? Use words we all understand." "I think we all understand what auntie H means.", Sabrina's laughing now. "It's when you like men or women both." "Nonsense.", Zelda opens her newspaper again. "Just pure nonsense."
Walking up and down the hall she thinks. "Maybe I like..." she can't think it out loud. "It's not that I like men. " that's easy to say. She's never been fond on relationships. That's why she'd stay single, for most of her life, dating only once or twice. Never letting the relationship getting serious. Until Faustus. It hurt not to have him. Why didn't hurt so much. On the other hand. Rejection always hurts. And she never dreamt about him. But... about Mary?" Walking in circles now she mutters to herself. "I am not gay. I am not gay." " we believe you." Hilda has appeared behind her, making her jump. "You don't have to put a spell on us. You are not gay. And you definitely didn't not scream for a certain Mary last night in your dream." She did what? Yes she had been having these nightmares over and over again, but she screamed? She pushes it far far behind in the back of her mind. Behind everything, locking it up deep Insider her.
Then she starts her days as she's used to. She organises her closet new, dressing more like she knows what she's doing. Working again for the mortuary, she starts feeling like she's getting a grip again. Working hard, like she was used to, dropping back into the warm arms of routine. The only thing, that keeps slipping her control are her dreams.